* Posts by Graham Marsden

6927 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

Facebook's flush Sheryl Sandberg savaged over UNPAID intern advert

Graham Marsden


"As a college graduate with a blank resume"... your chances of actually *getting* that job are about the same as the proverbial snowball in hell.

Graham Marsden

@Destroy All Monsters - Re: Retarded. Where is the problem, again?

" If you are unskilled, working unpaid *can* be a plus."

Unskilled? RTFA:

"editorial and social chops and able to commit to a regular schedule through end of year. Design and web skills a plus!"

Apple erects measures to stop app-happy kids splurging parents' dosh

Graham Marsden
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@Buzzword - Re: They do it on purpose

A very interesting (if depressing) read.

Another example might be the way that, now that EA Games has taken over the Gamehouse Scrabble Game on Facebook, you no longer get the "Number of tiles left in the bag" feature for free, so if you're getting to the end of the game you can't (easily) figure out what tiles your opponent may have, instead you have to pay "just" £9.99 to buy the feature.

(Although there's already an add on for Chrome written by game fans which does this for free!)

NSA coughs to 1000s of unlawful acts of snooping on US soil since 2008

Graham Marsden

"Most were accidental mishaps"

Oh, well *that's* ok then.

It's not as if they were doing it deliberately...

Brits: We can stop trolling if we know where they live - poll

Graham Marsden
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@Rikkey - Re: Overcrowded housing

So do you live just around the corner from number 22 Acacia Avenue (home of Charlotte T Harlot)? ;-)

Graham Marsden
Big Brother


.... and this is *really* going to stop someone from using fake registration details unless they're also going to require you to provide credit card details and a copy of your passport and a DNA sample and...

... oh, hang on, *NOW* I see where this is going...

Bitcoin laws are coming: US Senate launches virty currency probe

Graham Marsden

@Cliff - Re: Currencies need...

> bitcoins are valuable to number collectors, they have no real tangible value of course

You mean unlike other currencies?

> bitcoins are not stable

You mean unlike other currencies?

> being purely fiat they are built on trust alone

You mean unlike other currencies?

Rate-my-boink app scores frisky fanbois, fangurlz' SCREAMS, VIBRATIONS

Graham Marsden


... I can envision some professional ladies introducing a new version of "Pay per Bonk"...

NORKS prepping glorious People's Smartmobe

Graham Marsden
Big Brother

"while strictly guaranteeing security"

"Yes, we guarantee that when our Security Services monitor your calls, we won't give out that information to just anyone...!"

Facebook's request to the flash industry: 'Make the worst flash possible'

Graham Marsden

"Write-once, read-never"

But think of all the thousands of pictures of teh kitties!!!

Tech war latest: Today's leather tools 'invented by NEANDERTHALS'

Graham Marsden

And I was expecting...

... a Neanderthal set of 6-way Revolving Punch Pliers...

Violent Hamlet 'bard' by British Library Wi-Fi filters

Graham Marsden

@frank ly - Re: @Pete 3 Excellent re. Titus Andronicus

"I believe that sort of fiction is now illegal in the UK, or is it just pictorial representation (for the moment)?"

It was the Tory Baroness O'Cathain who actually *did* propose a "Dangerous Writings Act" to go along with the "Dangerous Pictures Act" which would have criminalised anything written that would have been classed as "Extreme Pornography"!


Graham Marsden
Black Helicopters

@Big Yin - Re: Why didn't he plug into ...

"The filtering happens at the network level."

But that *can't* go wrong. After all, it's the only thing that's going to protect our children from porn and eeeviilll paedoes and...

Elon Musk unveils Hyperloop – the subsonic tube of tomorrow

Graham Marsden

"The SF to LA route alone would cost only $6bn to build"

Unless you're talking about Government expenditure, since when did the words "only" and "six billion" ever go together...?

Graham Marsden

Be pure, be vigilant...


Feds arrest rogue trucker after GPS jamming borks New Jersey airport test

Graham Marsden
Big Brother

"such systems are unpopular with the slackers"

Ah, a variant on the "if you have nothing to hide..." argument, methinks.

After all, you shouldn't object to your employer tracking your every move and every stop to ensure that they're getting the maximum possible amount of work out of you (preferably for the minimum possible amount of money) should you?

NSA to world+dog: We're only watching 1.6% of internet, honest

Graham Marsden
Big Brother

"of the 1.6% of the data, only 0.025% is actually selected for review"

Those sound such small numbers, don't they?

But, of course, they aren't *numbers*, they're percentages and is a neat way of burying the fact that actually huge amounts (in numerical terms) of data is being scanned on what is nothing more than a massive fishing expedition in the hope that, somewhere in all the dross, they'll come up with something useful.

Mother of Chelyabinsk spotted

Graham Marsden


Translation: Damn, we've been rumbled! Quick, lads, chuck a few more rocks at them before they figure out how to deal with our attack!

Should UK tear Wi-Fi a new one at 5GHz? Speak your brains, says Ofcom

Graham Marsden
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"there's little or no congestion"

Oh great. I've just had to buy a new video sender because my old one (which worked on 2.4Ghz) became unusable due to the amount of interference and now it looks like the replacement is going to end up with the same problem :-(

Study finds online commentards easily duped, manipulated

Graham Marsden

"forum comments that receive positive votes are disproportionately more likely to be up-voted again"

You mean like when El Reg recently had a list of the "most popular" (or some such) comments at the bottom of an article (before you clicked on the Comment button) which pretty much guaranteed that they were the ones most likely to get votes?

Plods probe death threat tweets to MP - but who will rid us of terrible trolls?

Graham Marsden

@Iglethal - Re: Kinda pointless if you live in a safe constituency, though.

The problem is that there's a lot of people who don't *want* to know about their candidate. They vote for Party X and the reason they do that is because their parents voted for Party X or because Party X is seen as the "The Party of... whatever" which is a group they consider themselves to be in.

When you only get to put one X on a piece of paper, there is insufficient granularity to determine what the people *really* want (and, of course, that's the way the two big political parties like it...)

Graham Marsden
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@Crisp - Re: Kinda pointless if you live in a safe constituency, though.

"someone else will say things in your name"

They do that anyway. Voting in our current broken system just condones the system without letting you actually have a say in the outcome.

How did Microsoft get to be a $1.2bn phone player? Hint: NOT Windows Phone

Graham Marsden

How to make money...

... Don't Innovate, just Litigate!

1) Come up with a ridiculously broad or blatantly obvious idea

2) Patent it (the USPO will let it go through on the nod) and stick it in a drawer

3) Wait for someone to create a product that uses an idea which is something close enough to it

4) Threaten to sue unless they pay you Protection Money (you've most likely got deeper pockets, they'll probably cave first)


Beam me up? Not in the life of this universe

Graham Marsden


Why use Radio when you have subspace?

UK economy to lose £198m if BBC and pals lose EPG slots - Ministry of Fun

Graham Marsden


... I prefer to get the Radio Times every week, read through it and see what's each channel, then set the programmes up to record so I can watch them when it's convenient for me.

And, yes, I'm aware that the RT doesn't feature *all* the channels out there, but given that, when I've bothered to look at them, they're not showing anything worth watching...

Lingering fingerprint fingering fingered in iOS 7 for NEW iPHONE

Graham Marsden
Thumb Up

To hell with the story...

... thumbs up to your sub-editor for his sub-stantially sub-lime sub-versive, sub-headline! (Now to hit sub-mit...)

UK the 'number 1 target' of online gangsters in 25 countries - e-crime report

Graham Marsden

"cyber attack [is] a higher threat than a nuclear attack"

I saw Keith Vaz say this on BBC News today and thought "Wow! That must be *really* serious because we are in *such* danger of a Nuclear Attack from... erm..."

Planned SMUT TSUNAMI fails to wreak havoc on UK.gov email

Graham Marsden

@Swiss Anton - Re: Whilst I object to these stupid and unworkable proposals...

The problem with Article 8 of the ECHR is that it contains the following weasel words:

"2. There shall be no interference by a public authority with the exercise of this right except such as is in accordance with the law and is necessary in a democratic society in the interests of national security, public safety or the economic well-being of the country, for the prevention of disorder or crime, for the protection of health or morals, or for the protection of the rights and freedoms of others."

In other words, as long as the Government can argue (with a straight face) that they're doing it "for public safety" or "for the prevention of crime" or "the protection of morals" the odds are they'll get away with it.

Graham Marsden
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@Dennis Wilson - Re: Brilliant.......

"there was talk of creating a top flight domain just for porn, like XXX [...] Anything that has even the remotest chance of taking it out of mainstream internet is fine by me"

And, as I've pointed out many a time on El Reg, what about businesses like mine? I run Affordable Leather Products, making and selling leather bondage and BDSM gear. I have a .co.uk domain because it's a UK business.

My site has adult content, but it's not a "porn" site, so why should I have (and have to pay a stupid price for) a .xxx domain? You, like Cameron, don't seem to have thought this one through...

Graham Marsden
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Whilst I object to these stupid and unworkable proposals...

... I can't say that I support this sort of action by Anonymous either, not least because it just gives Cameron and his cronies ammunition to say "Look at all this filth and smut we were sent. We need MORE censorship to ensure that this sort of thing doesn't happen again.!"

(They could also probably have added "And is this really the sort of thing you would want your wife or your servants to see"...)

Dumpsters begone! App matches diners with leftovers to broke, hungry

Graham Marsden


... American restaurants could just stop serving such ridiculously oversized portions.

Robot cop called in after MAD BONGER blown up in LIQUID MARIJUANA EXPLOSION

Graham Marsden

Stoned or high...

... you're coming with me!

(Ok, so it should be Robocop, not the Terminator, but WTH!)

Microsoft to Google: Please remove us from internet

Graham Marsden


... the irony!!

First burger made of TEST-TUBE MEAT to be eaten on August 5

Graham Marsden


... there's a way of getting protein that's a hell of a lot cheaper, by using insects.

Now of course most people's immediate reaction is "Eww! Insects...!" but, as a recent documentary showed, there are more than a few countries around the world where people are happily and healthily eating insects.

To get away from the "It's a bug!" reaction, take the insects, grind them up, reconstitute and colour the protein, bung in some flavouring if you want and you'll have something which is basically what turns up in burgers these days anyway.

Microsoft introduces warning on child abuse image searches

Graham Marsden

@DrXym - Re: Nonce sense

"It would be far more sensible to let them search away and the results they clicked on."

Sorry, but I don't agree with you because this would require that all our searches are not merely monitored, but all the websites we visit tracked *and* then all our activities recorded *just in case* someone has buried a secret cache of kiddie porn in a folder on the site "Humorous Anecdotes of the Great Accountants".

Graham Marsden

@BornToWin - Re: It's the least they can do

It does rather depend on how "CHILD PORN" is defined.

FYI, in the UK, even though it's legal for someone to have sex between the ages of 16 and 18, "sexual" images of someone between those ages could get you locked up unless you can demonstrate that you are in "an enduring relationship" with the person involved.

Similarly, images of children in swimming costumes etc, could be classed as child porn depending on the "context" in which they are stored. That's a nicely nebulous term because it's not clear if that's "in the same folder as other porn" or "in a folder that's held with several others in a general classification 'porn'" or "in a folder as a sub-set of the folder 'images' which also contains a folder called 'porn'" or even "on the same hard drive as other porn.

And, of course, there's cases such as the one of Julia Sommerville who was arrested for taking "child pornography" photos because her partner had taken pictures of her and her kid in the bath together and then got them developed in Boots.

(I think those are the right details of that case, but I don't dare search for the relevant terms in case it tells me I'm engaged in an illegal search...!)

Graham Marsden

Re: What next?

"Covering up lads' mags in supermarkets?"

Off-topic, I know, but I reckon their next edition should be "Burkha Special!"

Russian cargo ship drops off spacesuit puncture repair kit at the ISS

Graham Marsden

Combined Operational Load Bearing External Resistance Treadmill (COLBERT)

And the award for this year's most contrived acronym goes to...

Kids LIE about age on Facebook, gasps Brit ad watchdog

Graham Marsden

@murph Re: Go ahead please... block social networks by default as well.

The point which you seem to be missing is that, as with many such things, the Government is getting people to accept the idea that censorship on the internet is acceptable by starting with something that almost nobody is going to disagree with.

Once that's accepted then, like the "Extreme Pornography" legislation, they can look at expanding it to other "unacceptable content" eg something that appears to look like rape, since, well, rape is equally unacceptable isn't it?

And slowly the line moves and more and more "unacceptable content" gets blocked as the Government decides for you what is os isn't acceptable for you to see...

Wow! British Gas bungs a million remote-controlled sales-droids in UK homes

Graham Marsden

"get one of those £20 mains appliance consumption meters"

When I switched to Scottish Power a while back, they gave me one of those meters for free.

I checked the consumption, then went round and switched off everything that was unnecessary.

At which point the reading had hardly changed because I was *already* switching off unnecessary appliances, lights, chargers etc.

So a smart meter will probably save me absolutely nothing.

Mozilla ponders blinkers for your browser

Graham Marsden

Re: Sorry?

Not according to Avenue Q...


Graham Marsden


In Arthur C Clarke's "The Fountains of Paradise" he mentions a news service like you mention.

Apparently some people would set up spoof search terms like "Circle - Squaring Of" or even "World - End Of"!

See http://www.e-book2u.org/sf/Clarke08/30299.html for details :-)

Hooker in Dudley man's car 'just helping to buy tomatoes'

Graham Marsden


"The problem is that this kind of arrangement (especially in the £20 range) is often not in private, far from it in fact."

True, but as you might notice in one of the articles linked from the original one "Five women and four men were detained [...] after Police received information suggesting that the property was being used as a brothel".

Now if all the women were there consensually and no force or coercion was being used to keep them there, then why is there a problem? It's all in private, nobody is being hurt (at least, not unless they want to be!) and every one is happy.

But, no, successive Governments have decided that two women working out of the same property is a brothel and if they have someone there as a security guard, he's classified as a pimp who is "living off immoral earnings".

Bravo, Governments! I bet we're all safer now...

Man who pulled gun during chess game surrenders to robot cop

Graham Marsden

Re: pics

ITYM Playmobil!

Senator: Surveillance state based on secret law 'has no place in America'

Graham Marsden
Big Brother

@John Smith 19 - Re: A good moment to remember Franklin's words

But it's the politicians who are claiming that *they* are the "good men" and they are "doing something" by bringing in these laws.

Of course they don't *like* doing it, but it's for our own good, isn't it?

Perhaps it's time for the Goering quote...

"[...] voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

PHWOAR! Huh! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing, Prime Minister

Graham Marsden
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@Brewster's Angle Grinder

So let's say, arguendo, this is successful and *all* porn is blocked and your kiddies are safe from it. Do we all live happily ever after?

Well, no, because you've not blocked any of those clips of terrorists beheading victims or Saddam Hussein being hanged or the Taliban executing women with a bullet to the head in the middle of a football field or...

Where does it stop? When do we say "ok, now we've blocked children from all the nasty stuff, the world is a better place for it"?

Graham Marsden

Don't write to El Reg, write to your MP!

As I've already pointed out in another thread, there is a petition here http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/51746 which currently has over 13,000 signatures, however if you *really* want to make your voice heard, write to your MP.

Go to http://www.theyworkforyou.com and tell your MP that you don't want to be treated like a child by the Nanny State or see the Great Firewall of Britain introduced.

Graham Marsden
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@Brewster's Angle Grinder

You say "We should focus our energy on making sure it works well - e.g. it doesn't outlaw LGBT", but *how* exactly are you going to achieve that except on an individual, case-by-case basis?

How do you create a filter which outlaws "porn" without blocking access to sexual health sites or breast cancer sites or LGBT advice sites all of which "children" (defined as "anyone under 18") might have a legitimate reason for accessing?

The answer is, of course, you can't. All this proposal does is justify Nanny State censorship (which is an act of stunning hypocrisy from the Tories who criticised Labour for wanting to introduce Nanny State legislation!) and trying to justify it as "the lesser of two evils" is nonsense.

If you want to be protected from "evil" that's your business, don't treat everyone else like children because you can't trust yourself to act responsibly.

(PS and dragging in Gun Control is just a massive red herring, there should be a Godwin equivalent...)

Phantom apps appear in Chinese fanbois' iTunes accounts

Graham Marsden
Big Brother

Are you sure...

... that those apps don't have some secret payload and are actually installed by the Chinese Government to keep an eye on its citizens...?

(I was going to use the Joke Ahead icon, but then again...)

Boffins, Tunnel Tigers and Scotland's world-first power mountain

Graham Marsden

Re: "photographs are forbidden for fear terrorists could make use of them,"

Of course, because terrorists are *so* stupid they can't think of the idea of going to eBay or one of the many websites that sell miniature cameras and using *those* to take pictures...

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