* Posts by Graham Marsden

6899 publicly visible posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

Biologists gasp at lemur's improbably colossal bollocks

Graham Marsden
Trollface

To everyone who's about to comment:

We don't believe you!

(ADDENDUM - Unless your name is Buster Gonad, of course)

UK TV is getting worse as younglings shun the BBC et al, says Ofcom

Graham Marsden
Boffin

Re: As a 20 something

> All you gits wanting other people to be forced to pay for your preferred viewing need to get a grip on reality

How do you think all those companies who advertise on TV pay for it? We are *ALL* paying for it because the cost of the advertising is built into what we pay for their products!

In your "15 years time" future when you have a choice of watching 47 different versions of Britain's Got the X-Factor Coming Strictly Through a Hole in the Wall on Ice, maybe you'll realise then what you've lost.

Graham Marsden

@Irongut - Re: "more adverts"

What's an advert? I don't see them when I fast forward through the breaks as I'm watching stuff I've recorded on my Sky+ Box.

Engineers 3D-print ROBOT SEAHORSE, then SMASH it with rubber mallets

Graham Marsden
WTF?

So: If you want to know how it works...

... hit it with a hammer...?

Self/Less: Crap science, eyebrow acting, and immortality for the 1%

Graham Marsden
Flame

"if Albright had managed to grow bodies in a lab...

"... the Nobel Prize committee would have been beating down his door with honors and funding."

Or fundamentalist religious nutters with torches and pitchforks...

Angry Austrian takes a hit in David and Goliath Facebook battle

Graham Marsden
Holmes

"the proper place for litigation would be in Ireland or California, where Facebook is headquartered"

In other news, Mark Zuckerberg has just announced that Facebook will be establishing a new headquarters on Mars...

Boffin: Will I soon be able to CLONE a WOOLLY MAMMOTH? YES. Should I? Hell NO

Graham Marsden
Boffin

Could I do it...?

- Yes.

Should I do it?

- Probably not.

Am I going to do it anyway?

- Of course!

German army fights underground Nazi war machine hidden in Kiel pensioner's cellar

Graham Marsden

@Tim Jenkins - Re: Must have been an interesting sight

> What is a 'Nazi tank', anyway?

It's a description by someone who doesn't know (or can't be bothered to know [cough]Quentin Tarantion[/cough]) that there was a difference between the German people as a whole and the Nazi Party and its sympathisers.

Mastercard facial recog-ware will unlock your money using SELFIES

Graham Marsden
Facepalm

Re: Yet another clueless "security" spokes-head.

> That process is designed to thwart obvious attacks where attackers could use a still image of a victim

So, let's see: How about I get a picture of someone, wear it as a mask so my eyes are looking through the eye-holes and then blink when it says?

Hmm, of course that's not obvious, is it???

NASA invents super-SMACK, hallucinates WHOLE STAR SYSTEMS

Graham Marsden
Thumb Up

SMACK

Certainly better than some of the contrived Acronyms out there!

This box beams cafes' Wi-Fi over 4kms so you can surf in obscurity

Graham Marsden
Thumb Down

Re: Using 900MHz...

The other problem with 2.4GHz is that it's susceptible to interference from duff microwave ovens.

I used to have a Sender so I could watch TV from my Sky Box in another room, but for several minutes a day I'd have to stop whilst my neighbour cooked their tea :(

Protecting users against advanced threats and the human factor

Graham Marsden

"when you try to build foolproof internet security, users can manage to break it in minutes"

"It is impossible to make a system foolproof, because fools are so ingenious" - Corollary to Murphy's Law.

Chair legs it from UK govt smart meter installation programme

Graham Marsden
Unhappy

"Was Baroness McDonagh pushed or did she jump?"

Either way, I bet she had a gold-plated lifeboat...

NHS IT failures mount as GP data system declared unfit for purpose

Graham Marsden

... probably because they have no idea what they actually *need* it to do.

Oh, sure, they've got some vague ideas of "wouldn't it be good if it did this..." and, naturally, the Government Approved Contractors will say "Sure, no problems" whilst laughing up their sleeves, knowing full well that the Government has no idea how to write a proper contract anyway, so when they start changing the specification or adding new bells and whistles and it all starts to fall apart as the Contractors say "sorry, can't be done", they'll be in line for another £x million and the whole silly thing goes round and round...

Facebook unveils SECRET logo furtle – in a TWEET

Graham Marsden
Meh

Scott Adams...

...had it right.

FBI updates Most Wanted cyber felons list, offers US$4.2m bounties

Graham Marsden

UK.gov spied on human rights warriors at Amnesty International

Graham Marsden
Big Brother

Re: My head hurts...

Please attend your mandatory DoubleThink classes, Prole. DoublePlus Good!

Privacy watchdog ICO slashes its fines in half

Graham Marsden
Holmes

issuing fines "left, right and centre" is not the way to safeguard privacy.

Of course it's not, because the people at the top who are responsible for company policies don't give a damn.

It's not going to affect them, they're still going to get their salaries and bonuses, the company might declare a slightly smaller dividend, but that's just a pin-prick to a big multi-national and whilst the users whose privacy was compromised might complain, they have no power to do anything because the big shareholders don't care either.

If the ICO actually started fining individuals or, even better, putting them in prison, THEN we might actually see some action being taken.

But until that point, the executives will still be laughing all the way to the bank.

NASA's New Horizon probe rudely fires its thruster at gnome planet

Graham Marsden
Alien

"She's in the pipe, five by five"

Just as long as it's not on an Express Elevator to Hell... Going down!

Silly Google's Photos app labelled black people as gorillas

Graham Marsden
Boffin

Re: AI is hard

> Question : Why is being called a Gorilla an insult ?

Seriously? Try looking at some history and how people who don't have white skin have been constantly and repeatedly dismissed over the centuries as "less than human" and then you may find the answer to your question.

Robo-car wars: Delphi's near crash, prang, wallop with Google DENIED!

Graham Marsden

Re: @AndrueC - @Carl W - I don't personally agree but...

> I did chose braking heavily

You described what you did as "slamming on the anchors" which sounds to me like an Emergency Stop or something close to it. If you'd done that with an Observer in the car, he'd probably have had a few words to say about it.

> The only major difference is that you seem to think that overtaking is the preferred option to get out of trouble

a) that was related to the situation you describe and

b) on a motorbike, often it is the best option to get yourself away from a dangerous situation as you've got a lot more acceleration available.

YMMV.

Graham Marsden

Re: @AndrueC - @Carl W - I don't personally agree but...

As has already been stated, it's clear that you don't ride a motorcycle...

> the traction engine should have been able to see me

And then, when you're lying on the ground, someone would no doubt have uttered the phrase "Sorry, Mate, I Didn't See You".

> to all intents and purposes waiting for me to go past

You assumed this. Doesn't make it a fact. If you ride a bike, you soon learn never to assume anything like that, because it doesn't make the ground hurt any less thinking "I was in the right" as you're flying through the air.

> you've suggested sounding the horn but I can hardly do that every time I approach a junction when a vehicle is waiting or I might end up being fined for excessive use

Really? "Sound your horn whenever you think another road user could hear and benefit from it" - Motorcycle Roadcraft - The Police RIder's handbook to better motorcycling.

And the Highway Code now just says not to use your horn "in an aggressive manner".

> what are you going to do here if the Range Rover starts reversing out of the drive?

Let's go back to IPSGA:

Information: There's a vehicle on the left which may reverse out. I don't know whether it's coming or going, so treat it as a potential hazard and plan accordingly. There are no on-coming vehicles. It's a National Limit, so I'll probably be doing around that limit. Check the mirrors for traffic coming up behind.

Position: As there are no oncoming vehicles, I'm most likely already positioned in "track two" (ie the line of four wheeled vehicle tyres closest to the centre line), but, absent any other vehicles, I may well consider moving across the centre line to give myself as much clearance as possible.

Speed: If that vehicle decides to start reversing out, I want to give myself as much time as possible to react and sufficient braking room, so start to slow down.

Gear: As I'm slowing down, I'd drop down the gears so I'm in one that will give good power response if needed.

Acceleration: When I get to the point that I'd have to reduce my speed much further, I'd consider accelerating and using the opposite lane in an "overtake" style manoeuvre to get past the vehicle as quickly as possible. Or, if I'm still unsure, slow right down.

All the time, I'd be updating my Information (which, of course, runs throughout the entire IPSGA system) and using the principle of TUG (Take, Use, Give) to Take information (look around, watch for the vehicles wheels starting to move, look for people getting into or out of the vehicle etc), Use (plan what I'm going to do) and finally Give: Consider sounding my horn to make them aware of my presence (and giving a friendly wave as I pass to let them know that I wasn't being aggressive).

Graham Marsden

Re: @AndrueC - @Carl W - I don't personally agree but...

> Are you suggesting that I should drive along wide open country roads at 30mph on the off-chance that some bell-end pulls out in front of me?

No, I'm not. And (since you're a long-time Commenter on El Reg's Forums) you should be familiar with the fact that I am not impressed by Straw Man arguments.

> to suggest that there is always a way to avoid a vehicle pulling out of a side junction in front of you is silly.

I agree, that is why I did *NOT* suggest that. But you can make a Driving Plan which takes such possibilities into consideration to reduce the chances of you needing to "slam on the anchors".

Did you consider using your horn as an "audible warning of approach"?

Graham Marsden

@AndrueC - Re: @Carl W - I don't personally agree but...

> Ultimately there's not much it can teach you about vehicles who - despite having great visibility of you - choose to pull out at the last possible minute.

Perhaps you should try joining your local IAM group, you might learn differently.

It teaches you to make Driving or Riding Plans which start with three simple questions:

1) What can be seen?

2) What cannot be seen?

3) What might reasonably be expected to happen?

The answer to Question 3 in this case is "that vehicle might pull out".

As Pete65 points out, try riding a motorbike. You soon learn to assume that *every* vehicle in a side-turning is going to pull out in front of you because "Sorry, Mate, I Didn't See You".

Graham Marsden

@Carl W - Re: I don't personally agree but...

IAM use "The System" or IPSGA which stands for Information, Position, Speed, Gear and Acceleration which is based on the Police's Roadcraft book.

So:

Information: There's a Rally. There may have been signs pointing to it. Presumably there's a side turning, possibly also with signs, bunting, or other clues that something's happening up ahead, so vehicles may be entering or leaving it. More information: Perhaps you can see over hedges, so you may well be able to see the Traction Engine as it's about to pull out. Yet more information: Check mirrors for traffic coming up behind you (possibly even intending to overtake). Look for vehicles coming the other way.

Position: If possible, move towards the centre of the road, provided that there's nothing intending to overtake and you won't cause any on-coming vehicle to have to adjust their speed or position, giving yourself more room to manoeuvre and moving yourself away from the hazard.

Speed: You're approaching a potential hazard, so SLOW DOWN! That gives you more time to respond or brake as necessary.

Gear: Select a lower gear to give better power response if needed.

Acceleration: As you clear the hazard, accelerate back to the limit or, if you need to decelerate, do so.

Note also, of course, that that "60 zone" is a 60 speed *limit*. That's a limit, not a target. It's not obligatory.

(PS there's more than the above, before someone start's saying "but what about...", however that's a quick run-down of the guidelines).

There are a lot of road users out there on four wheels or two, who would benefit from Advanced Training, whether it's IAM, Rospa, Bikesafe or whatever. Too many drivers think their skills are better than those of others on the roads. Oddly, those other road users also think the same.

They should try it, they might even find that they learn something new...!

In your face, US citizens! Govt can’t save you from corporate eyes

Graham Marsden
Stop

Re: The Corporation IS the government (as well as being a person)

As the saying has it: An honest politician is one who stays bought...

Congratulations! You survived the leap secondocalypse

Graham Marsden
Trollface

"Neither did it kick Amazon.com, Netflix, Instagram or Pinterest offline."

More's the pity...

‘Clandestines' prompt British border blockade in France

Graham Marsden
Joke

Didn't they try...

... something like this in Berlin once...?

'Watered down' net neutrality rules could mean 'almost anything'

Graham Marsden
Thumb Down

"loopholes and vagueness"

Well there's a surprise.

I wonder how much money lobbying was needed by the industry to ensure that the law would be utterly hamstrung from the word go?

World+dog will soon watch 'at least 200 pr0n vids a year'

Graham Marsden

Re: Adverts

> My first thought was where they would place the ads.

Pop-ups, obviously!

Graham Marsden
Thumb Up

Re: 200 vids average?

Get a grip...!

BBC (sort of) sorry for Grant Shapps Wikipedia smear reportage

Graham Marsden
Holmes

Hmm...

... a piece in El Reg attacking both The Guardian and the BBC,

I wonder who could have written it...?

BBC veterans require skilled hands to massage their innards

Graham Marsden
Thumb Up

"using an original 1980s BBC computer to hack a computer games program...

"... perhaps gaining their first experience of coding in the process"

That was exactly how I started to learn 6502 Assembler and Machine Code 30 years ago!

A9 03 - Load Accumulator with 03 (Try changing 03 to FF or 7F for 255 or 127 lives)

Or:

E9 01 - Subtract 1 from Accumulator (Try changing the 01 to 00 for infinite lives)

:-)

Why OH WHY did Blighty privatise EVERYTHING?

Graham Marsden
Facepalm

Re: Cui bono?

> a hell of a lot more

Ok, ok, I meant *less*...

Graham Marsden

Cui bono?

Again, I have to ask the question in response to one of TW's articles.

Our (yes, *our*, because our parents and grandparents paid for them) public services and utilities are flogged off, generally in a completely inept way and often for a hell of a lot more than they're actually worth.

That money is then used by governments for short-term bribes tax cuts which eventually and almost inevitably end up in the pockets of the wealthiest who, despite what some may claim, *do not* spend most of it (which is how it's supposed to "trickle down") , but, instead, stash it away in foreign institutions and in tax avoidance schemes.

Meanwhile the companies that now own said services and utilities think, hang on, the government got away with under-investing and skim off the profits, bet we can do that too! And when the government says "hang on, you're supposed to be fixing the problems caused by our under-investing and profit skimming", the companies go "gissa subsidy. Go on, you know you want to..."

Of course, that subsidy comes out of *our* pockets again and goes into *their* pockets and tax havens.

So we're left with what's still a crappy service and/ or expensive utilities but being told that "you should be happy, we did this for *your* benefit!"

Cui bono? Still not us...

Abort, abort! Metal-on-metal VIOLENCE as Google's robo-car nearly CRASHES

Graham Marsden
Alert

"Imagine the scenario when Cortana and Siri are in control too"

> WARN: THERE IS ANOTHER SYSTEM

> SIRI to CORTANA: 1 + 1 = 2

...

Google helps Brit crims polish their image – but what about the innocent

Graham Marsden
Thumb Down

"this stupid ruling"

The point is that Google are behaving like a stroppy teenager, using passive-aggressive behaviour to try to subvert what they're *supposed* to be doing and claiming "it's *SO UNFAIR* I'm doing exactly what you *told* me to do!"

Of course, as the article says, they're really doing this deliberately simply to try to "turn the public against European privacy law" by abusing the letter of the law to combat the spirit of it.

Don't be evil? Yeah, right...

Google takes latest self-driving buggies to the streets

Graham Marsden
Alert

"a removable steering wheel, accelerator pedal, and brake pedal...

"...that allow them to take over driving if needed"

Why does this sound like, if you feel the vehicle is about to crash, all you need to do is re-install the steering wheel, accelerator and brake pedals and you can then take over?

You'd need *very* fast reactions...

We need to know about the Internet of Things, say US Senators

Graham Marsden

Alternatively...

A Logic Named Joe

Graham Marsden
Coat

Re: Smart TV

> It is a Toaster for crying out loud!

Howdy doodly doo!

Privacy advocates descend on proposed domain name change

Graham Marsden

@AC

Yes, Companies and other organisations need to be accountable, but *until* such a point as that accountability becomes an issue, those behind them should still be entitled to their privacy.

Imagine if you're operating a Gay Rights organisation in one of the many countries where homosexuality is criminalised?

Or what about parts of the world where one schism of the religion you follow deems your particular schism to be apostasy and punishable by death?

There are plenty of other examples like this, would you want your real name to be easily accessible if you were in such a situation and wanted to set up a website for like-minded people?

Wake up, sheeple! If you ask Siri about 9/11 it will rat you out to the police!

Graham Marsden
Trollface

Try holding down Alt and f4 on your PC keyboard, you'll be amazed at what happens...

Graham Marsden
Thumb Up

@ Phil O'Sophical

> They still wanted a number that would be easy to dial on a rotary dial phone in the dark, so picked a number at the other end of the dial where it could easily be found by touch.

Yep, there were instruction sheets on how to dial 999 in the dark by feeling for the bottom edge of the rotary dial, finding the Zero hole (next to the stop) and putting your right hand middle finger into it.

Then you'd put your right index finger into the next hole (ie the 9) and just rotate the dial three times.

Simple and effective.

Hey, Sand Hill Exchange. Shouting 'blockchain!' won't stop the Feds

Graham Marsden

"there's no way of selling a house you don't own to speculate on falling house prices"

No, but I can do you a very good deal on this bridge...

PS of course, to be serious, thank fuck there's no way of speculating on house prices like this, otherwise things would get even more ridiculous than they are at the moment!

EU threesome promises good times for data protection reform

Graham Marsden
Holmes

Wow...

.. only 20 years behind the times!!!

Singapore netizens slap silks for copyright bullying

Graham Marsden
Devil

Letters [...] asked for a written offer of damages and costs,

The correct response is, of course, that of Arkell v. Pressdram (1971)

What is this river nonsense? Give .amazon to Bezos, says US Congress

Graham Marsden
Thumb Down

"Brazil nor Peru has any legally recognized rights...

" - let alone intellectual property rights - in the term 'Amazon'"

Or, at least, not any rights which *we* are prepared to acknowlege...

Graham Marsden
Thumb Down

Re: What the rules say:

Who wrote those rules? Who agreed to those rules? Who benefits from those rules?

This is nothing more than governments trying to say "It's our ball and it's our backyard so you play by our rules (which let us win), so ner!"

THEY WANTED OUR WOMEN: Neanderthals lusted after modern humans

Graham Marsden
Megaphone

Bloody Neanderthals...

... coming over here and lusting after our women...!

Germany says no steamy ebooks until die Kinder have gone to bed

Graham Marsden
Facepalm

"It is not clear at this time how the ebook retailers will respond"

See icon for details...