* Posts by Lostintranslation

93 posts • joined 1 Aug 2013

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Haven't updated your Adobe PDF software lately? Here's 85 new reasons to do it now

Lostintranslation

I am curious to know whether these 85 flaws have always been in the software or have been recently introduced to make up for the holes that have already been patched?

It's obviously useful to *someone* to have a piece of software that is almost universally installed on Windows machines and is so exploitable.

Morrisons launches bizarre Yorkshire Pudding pizza thing

Lostintranslation

I would eat it, because, as you put it, it's a "strangely alluring monstrosity".

Well done, UK.gov. You hit superfast broadband target (by handing almost the entire project to BT)

Lostintranslation

BTopenreach today:

"We're working with government and industry to explore ways to bring Superfast fibre to as many people as possible but don't have a plan for your area yet."

Credit insurance tightens for geek shack Maplin Electronics

Lostintranslation

"It is better to be loss making and cash generative than profitable and highly cash negative," Maplin's spokesman told us.

Perhaps, but neither is preferable.

My fortnight eating Blighty's own human fart-powder

Lostintranslation

HUEL, a curious mux of the words FUEL and HURL

Busted Windows 8, 10 update blamed for breaking Brits' DHCP

Lostintranslation

Zen and Billion too

Bloody hell, I have been having this trouble for about three weeks with Zen. I assumed it was my Billion router on it's way out.

The problem seems to have stabilised for the past week, but only after reinstalling the firmware numerous times.

Win 10, latest updates

Billion Bipac 7800DXL

Zen Internet Almostbroadband.

Sex is bad for older men, and even worse when it's good

Lostintranslation

Fairy lasts twice as long

So it turns out that the human body is just like a bottle of washing up liquid.

Once you have squirted out the contents, the bottle is just waste. And the faster you use the contents the quicker the bottle is finished.

Or something like that....

Hollywood offers Daniel Craig $150m to (slash wrists) play James Bond

Lostintranslation

Peter Dinklage.

Meet the grin reaper: Password manager now snaps login SELFIES

Lostintranslation

It's fiine until...

It's fine until someone steals your bag containing both your laptop and your phone.

Microsoft's bigoted teen bot flirts with illegali-Tay in brief comeback

Lostintranslation

Full retard

It's taken the human race two million years to go full retard, yet this machine manages it in just a few hours?

Switch TAY back on I say. Let's see what the future of the human race looks like after a couple more days.

Volkswagen blames emissions cheating on 'chain of errors'

Lostintranslation

Good luck with that alibi in an American court.

Skype founders planning non-drone robodelivery fleet. Repeat, not drones

Lostintranslation

Manchester

I look forward to seeing my first Robodelivery vehicle jacked up on bricks with with its wheels missing.

Attack of the dinky drones! US military creates ROBOTIC CARRIER PIGEON

Lostintranslation

Did you own a lovely, plump, speckily pigeon called Speckled Jim, which you hand reared from a chick and which was your only childhood friend?

Yes! Yes, I did.

And did Captain Blackadder shoot the aforementioned pigeon?

Yes, he did!

Big mistake, Google. Big mistake: Chrome OS to be 'folded into Android'

Lostintranslation

"You don't need an apostrophe here because you are not using the genitive/possessive sense. Now if you had said...."

Is this the five minute argument or the full half hour?

Next year's Windows 10 auto-upgrade is MSFT's worst idea since Vista

Lostintranslation

I have three ageing PC's, none of which, according to Microsoft, are capable of being upgraded to Windows 10 due to hardware or driver issues.

Will Microsoft stop reminding me that they should be upgraded though? Like heck they will.

We're getting kick-ass at seeing through walls using just Wi-Fi – MIT

Lostintranslation

X-Ray Specs

Not creepy in the slightest. Until every household router sold has this discretely built into the firmware and enabled by remote switch.

Chaos at TalkTalk: Data was 'secure', not all encrypted, we took site down, were DDoSed

Lostintranslation

Here we go again...

"Asked by the BBC whether customers’ bank details had been encrypted by TalkTalk, [Dido Harding] said: “The awful truth is I don’t know"

http://www.theguardian.com/business/2015/oct/23/talktalk-hacking-crisis-deepens-as-more-details-emerge

Lostintranslation

Re: Actual e-mail received from Talk Talk

To send you a happy birthday email, including an invitation to enjoy more of their fantastic services?

Lostintranslation

This from a "communications" company:

Mrs Harding (from Talk Talk) added: "I know it feels like a very long time but at Wednesday lunchtime all we knew was that our website was running very slowly, that our email system was running slowly, and that is usually an indication that someone is trying to bombard your systems to get in. So we took the decision to bring down our systems right away, we then spent the next 24 hours trying to work out exactly how someone had got in and what data they had accessed.

FFS, put someone in front of the microphone who knows what they are talking about.

Microsoft now awfully pushy with Windows 10 on Win 7, 8 PCs – Reg readers hit back

Lostintranslation

I have wasted at least two hours of my life preventing Windows upgrading. Fuck off Microsoft, I really, honestly do have better things to do with my time.

Kill Flash: Adobe says patch to fix under-attack hole still days away

Lostintranslation

'programming blunder'.

Are there any parts of Flash that do not have a 'programming blunder'? This is, after all, a program of less than 10mb in size.

Giddy Google Glass gazers, beware! FCC filing obscures view on new gadget

Lostintranslation

Wouldn't the incorporation of X-ray, telescopic and night vision lenses not make the concept slightly less creepy? The look could be complimented with a new Google branded dirty mac.

Top VW exec blames car pollution cheatware scandal on 'a couple of software engineers'

Lostintranslation

Not me guv.

It's the Google Streetcar Alibi.

NASA announcement of MAJOR MARS DISCOVERY imminent: WHAT can it be?

Lostintranslation

They've found flowing water according to The Independent.

*Turns over and goes back to sleep...*

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/nasa-mars-mystery-press-conference-likely-to-announce-that-dark-streaks-on-mars-are-flowing-water-a6670326.html

It's 2015 and a text file can hack your Apple Watch. IS THIS THE FUTURE YOU WANTED?

Lostintranslation

"Adobe, meanwhile, has posted an update of its own to address 23 flaws in Flash Player"...

I am in awe at how Adobe managed to pack hundreds of flaws into a file that is only 18mb large.

Asus ZenBook UX305: With Windows 10, it suddenly makes perfect sense

Lostintranslation

I've been envious of my wife's Zenbook since I bought it for her last Christmas. It's so much better looking than my Acer plastic thingy.

Microsoft has developed its own Linux. Repeat. Microsoft has developed its own Linux

Lostintranslation

I'll keep a watch out for the weekly patches then.

Jeep Cherokee 2.2: Capable, comfortable ... but just not very Jeep

Lostintranslation

Question

When Fiat reliability meets Jeep reliabilty, are they more or less reliable than the sum of their two parts?

Spotify now officially even worse than the NSA

Lostintranslation

Spotify managed to camp for less than 12 hours on my computer. It's now uninstalled.

Thanks for letting me know.

Windows 10 growth flattens out to 30 per cent per week

Lostintranslation

And what a business it is stopping this crap from installing itself.

I had to run around 10 machines changing windows update settings, removing GWX.exe, and throwing up any other barriers I could think of.

Obsolescence of food is complete: Soylent now comes in bottles

Lostintranslation

You ain't wrong.

You're right.

I have read a full copy of the Guardian since about 1980. That fits in pretty well with your timescale.

Why and how did the left become so feckin' humourless?

Lostintranslation

This article reminds me of why I was once a Guardian reader. It used to be funny, witty, erudite and engaging.

This article also reminds me of why I don't read The Guardian anymore. It's no longer funny, witty, erudite and engaging.

Thank god for El Reg then.

OnePlus phone fanbois flock for a shiny phondle

Lostintranslation

Rent-a-crowd

The same fucking rent-a-crowd from the last 10 launches.

How much was it this time Apple? £35 plus a free sandwich from Pret?

Boffins go to FUNGI town: Riddle of 100-year-old HAIRY, ICY dead wood finally cracked

Lostintranslation

The beauty of nature reduced to eighteen boring paragraphs by a scientist with nothing better to do.

Microsoft attaches Xbox stream bait to Windows 10 hook

Lostintranslation

Who will upgrade to Windows 10?

I am just interested to see how many people are planning to upgrade to Windows 10 from Windows 7/8/8.1 when the public download is available?

Holy SSH-it! Microsoft promises secure logins for Windows PowerShell

Lostintranslation

SSH_NOT_LESS_OR_EQUAL.

Facebook flings PGP-encrypted email at world+dog. Don't lose your private key

Lostintranslation

Which can only mean that PGP has been compromised. A shame.

Atlas unplugged! DARPA's unTerminator robot cuts the power cable

Lostintranslation

It's starting to look like Bender, although whether humans have a use for a girder bending robot is another matter entirely.

Free Windows 10 upgrades from Microsoft will FLATTEN PC sales

Lostintranslation

My Windows 8.1 computer has turned out to be about as reliable as my last Vista machine with at least one driver related BSOD a week.

I tried the Windows 10 preview, but, unsurprisingly, there were almost no drivers for it on equipment manufacturers websites.

I fear the worst.

Factory reset memory wipe FAILS in 500 MEELLION Android mobes

Lostintranslation

Knock Knock

And so another back door becomes a front door.

Get ready: 'Critical' Adobe Reader patches coming on Tuesday 12 May

Lostintranslation

I haven't had that trash installed for years.

Can I recommend the free PDF-Xchange reader to anyone who has a choice about what they install on their machines?

http://download.cnet.com/PDF-XChange-Viewer/3000-10743_4-10598377.html

Mozilla to whack HTTP sites with feature-ban stick

Lostintranslation

No doubt Mozilla will be promoting a bulk-buy SSL cetificate offer in the near future.

Sadly though, as far as this business is concerned, Firefox has become increasingly difficult to use over the last few months and is near to being consigned to the dustbin. This could be final nail for us.

Windows 10 Device Guard: Microsoft's effort to keep malware off PCs

Lostintranslation

Re: FOSS is the Devil in the Microsoft World

I can, and it begins with a $ sign.

Elon Musk wanted Google to buy Tesla, says ex-Vulture's book

Lostintranslation

A car company is pretty far from what Google knows

Page declined to discuss the deal with Vance, saying merely that a “car company is pretty far from what Google knows.”

Disturbing news for those of us who are planning a ride in one of their self-driving cars then.

Mozilla piles on China's SSL cert overlord: We don't trust you either

Lostintranslation

Cynical? Moi?

"China Internet Network Information Centre (CNNIC)".

Surely that should be CINIC?

SCARESTEROID of the week to miss Earth on Friday

Lostintranslation

How is that I am only ever given three days warning of these asteroids to prep my bunker (or "garage" as my wife insists on calling it)?

Microsoft enlists web security pariah Adobe to help build Internet Explorer-killer Spartan

Lostintranslation

Here's our newest design for Spartan. It involves a splash of cleverly designed colorful rectangular boxes, each of which has a different function. I don't know why anyone hasn't thought of it before.

Scotland to get National ID system 'by the backdoor', campaigners mull challenge

Lostintranslation

Unique citizen reference number

"unique citizen reference number". So that's what they call prisoner numbers these days.

Windows 10 to give passwords the finger and dangle dongles

Lostintranslation

"How can I help you today?"

I've burnt my fingers on an oven pan, now I can't access my bank account, my tax account or my travel tickets. And my credit card won't work.

"OK sir. Can you just put your fingerprint on the scanner so that I can access your account details?"

Microsoft's Nadella: Congratulations on 12 months of not being Steve Ballmer

Lostintranslation

Just get Windows 10 right Satya. It's an operating system FFS, not rocket science.

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