* Posts by Aaiieeee

104 posts • joined 16 Jul 2013


Lush scrubs its card-processing servers squeaky clean


Is it anywhere near the cheese shop?

I wonder if there is a collaboration opportunity here

Man cuffed for testing fruit with bum cheek pre-purchase


Just buff it on your trousers before eating, it'll be fine...


A good reason to wash unpackaged produce then!

Whilst I was brought up to not mind a bit of dirt, this is perhaps a bit too far. Grandma would probably have asked what all the fuss was about.

Brits pay £490m extra for mobes they already own – Citizens Advice


Yes, but

On some level you have to take personal responsibility such that if your money is important you will do your best to ensure it is well allocated. This includes checking in on your expenses and what you expected to pay for an item. Yes it can be boring but it is the money you spent a lifetime earning, take an interest!

My Nokia 3 cost £110 outright and monthly costs is £7.50. This is not particularly difficult to work with. I have no interest in phones and hunting for a phone wasn't fun, but I understand my arrangement and am happy with it.

On the other hand it seems entirely reasonable that after something has been paid off the payments for the item should stop without question or prompting.

Since companies are not looking out for my best interests I automatically assume I have to do everything myself, but I guess most people don't have this attitude.

NASA 'sextortionist' allegedly tricked women into revealing their password reset answers, stole their nude selfies

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IBM slaps patent on coffee-delivering drones that can read your MIND


Vacant expression

I have these leg things which if I put one in front of the other I can move around. Its amazing really.

Acertaining my own state of mind and getting a coffee if I want one is entirely on me - I prefer it that way! I dont need anyone else deciding what I want or need.

Devon County Council techies: WE KNOW IT WASN'T YOU!


At the very least the writer of the letter could have said "oops, sorry about that I was really busy and doing 2 things at once." Not only does this acknowlege the issue but sublty suggests that its actually a permissable mistake.

The fact they screwed up and then tried to blame someone else is just pathetic personal ethics.

Almost 1 in 3 Brits think they lack computer skills to do their jobs well


Dunning Kruger

They must be average since they are not feeling confident in their ability then they are probably not a complete amatur nor an expert. This is a fair assessment of most people generally and if you are in the younger group its also reasonable since you don't have experience yet. Seems like the normal course of things and not a problem.

IBM memo to staff: Our CEO Ginni is visiting so please 'act normally!'


My employer does not have the power to tell me when I can or can not use the toilets; I will go when I so desire.

So as the CEO swans around each site she only see a facade of perfection, a show put on by directors hoping to look good. Are CEO's generally so detacehed from reality they buy into this, or do they really just want to see their actual company and spend some time with the proles every so often and escape the hand wringing?

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it a giant alien space cigar? Whatever it is, boffins are baffled


"It is still a tiny and weird object"

Its not so tiny when it lands on this persons house. Especially if its upset at being called weird

What does it take for an OpenAI bot to best Dota 2 heroes? 128,000 CPU cores, 256 Nvidia GPUs

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I would imagine the bots could possibly win a team fight at a pro level due to faster reaction times and precision calcuations (e.g. staying out of range by 1 pixel for the entire time then stepping 1 pixel closer to attack then back again before the human can react).

But I'm not convinced it would win at broader strategy and map management. I imagine the humans would need to ensure unfair fights by way of superior game insight that the bots can't know or communicate.

Uber robo-ride's deadly crash: Self-driving car had emergency braking switched off by design


This bothers me too. The situational awareness of the 'driver' was totally lost. Has it started to rain? Is the a HGV close behind? Is the driver aware of current speed so as to estimate and action stopping distances within 1.3 seconds? What are other cars doing? etc

Boffins: Michael Jackson's tilt was a criminally smooth trick


I could probably do it with some skiis

Brit IT contractor wins appeal against HMRC to pay £26k in back taxes


So confusing.

"I am satisfied that the relationship is consistent with a contract for services, not a contract of service"

I was led to believe (by HMRC of course) that IR35 is all about if you look like a permie (fixed hours, no other clients, no freedom not to work etc) regardless of your contract. This seems to confirm its definately about whats in the contract.

T-Mobile owner sends in legal heavies to lean on small Brit biz over use of 'trademarked' magenta


So if I trademark all combinations of RGB..

as a part of my company identity I can then licence the use to all other companies world wide. I won't sell anything, just recieve royalties. I will need a fairly strong legal arm for the bigger players of course, but hopefully after a few smaller companies cave without a fight and start paying I should have the cash soon enough.

Yes, people see straight through male displays of bling (they're only after a fling)


Were they called 'Flashy' and 'Frugal' in the study? Because 'Flashy' has negative connotations, and Frutal has positive connotations which obviously wouldn't influence the results..

It seems very simplistic. Or did I misunderstand?

Blame everything on 'computer error' – no one will contradict you


Don't give your opinion!

If I'm out and about and I see somebody having an IT Moment at a cash register or terminal and the solution is obvious to me.. I usually do not say anything otherwise it becomes MY problem!

An airy confirmation of how much of a nuisance computers are will do, possibly and a nervous laugh.

In a lot of walks of life being helpful or a decent person is staight forward and worth it. When it comes to computers just stay well out of it.

Size does matter, chaps: Oversized todgers an evolutionary handicap


Bigger may be better in the short term

I suspect on the whole people are concerned about the future of the species only upto the point when they (or a generation or so of dependants) will no longer be a part of it. The state of humanity in 50,000 years time isnt that high up on my circle of concern.

Therefore, school playground talk is still the way of it. Woe is me :(

You're a govt official. You accidentally slap personal info on the web. Quick, blame a kid!


Poor kid

Depending on his personality this may really affect his future. He may grow stronger and learn to stand up for himself, he may become paranoid and distrustful of authority, or he might shrink away, being fearful of any mistep. There is a remote possibility he may remain unchanged (especially if he has really strong and down to earth parents).

In the same way that you feel terrible when you walk past somebody in distress and don't help, there must be somebody involved feeling that way knowing they screwed up and deciding between 'do I speak up', or 'its done, don't think about it'.

The nature of being alive I guess

Penis pothole protester: Cambridge's 'Wanksy' art shows feted


Ok so there are now 2 issues: potholes and graffiti. They are saying the graffiti is reducing their ability to address the potholes; surely addressing the potholes will have a direct impact on grafitti incidence and they will both be reduced?

As for the kids, its not ideal but its better they see graffiti than suffer a car incident due to a ruptured tyre or something.

El Reg needs you – to help build an automated beer-transporting robot

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Ok so high level thinking is needed to start us off

The bot is always ready and connected to a power source in an alcove using some type of contact that can be decoupled without intervention. The PFY picks up an RIFD token (or its in his shoe) and loudly pronounces "BEER OCLOCK" which is the voice activated notification for the bot to home in on the token. The bot then proceeds to the token whilst avoiding obsticals; it may help if the PFY starts the proceedure infront of the bot so it can find him, or else have the bot learn of obsticals on previous visits so it can navigate to the PFY when there isnt a clear line-of-site path to him.

The bot should come equiped with a tray that is independatly stabalised and will account for acceleration and deceleration.

A further feature is that after the PFY anounces "BEER OCLOCK" anyone who wants a drink must loudly procalim "MAKE MINE A x" and the bot will note the relative location and drink type and attemp to deliver each drink to its recipient after it has made it back to a known location, or at least past the door.

It could potentially use all the millions of WIFI networks to help triangulate its position.

'Our way or the highway' warranty scams shot down by US watchdog: It's OK to use unofficial parts to repair your gear


I overheard somebody telling his buddy that he "gets 2 free screen replacements a year" under his plan (he pays £70pcm for his phone btw) and felt it was worth it. It amused me that he confirmed he hadn't had to use it yet when the buddy asked how many times he'd claimed so far.

It then occurred to me it is normal to expect screen damage on a phone, and therefore cover is normal too. This surprised me as I had my first smart phone for 4 years with no screen damage and therefore expect the same of its fairly recent replacement.

My first phone had a screen made of gorillas and the positive experience meant it became a core requirement for the replacement :)

My Tibetan digital detox lasted one morning, how about yours?


Rein in your notification settings!

I think there is value in managing the 'smartphone' element of life. For example I have very carefully curated my notification settings so that only SMS, phone calls and apps I explicitly want a notification from (authenticator tokens etc) have free rein; everything else is disabled. I couldn't care less if an app needs updating, or how many unread emails I have, or for any "you havn't checked into our app today" messages.

I have absolutely no message counters visible; as soon as I see one I have a desire/need to check it which ruins productivity, and otherwise its unsigntly, so they all are hidden. I'll check when I am good and ready thank you.

The scope of some permissions and notifications is quite extensive, requiring dilligent hunting in all settings screens both in the app, the app store, the phone, and hidden areas of the phone settings.

I really rely on my smart phone for organisation and managing my life and its utility (I have a metronome) is unequalled.

Everyone has different use cases, mine is more practical. I'm not in constant contact with anyone except my girlfriend and even then I prefer to just hang out and chat. I'm not really popular enough that the fear of missing out requires me to be plugged in; nobody I know is going to require me to respond instantly!

Managing head space is important to me and it doesn't have to be done in Tibet or with chanting.

Morrisons launches bizarre Yorkshire Pudding pizza thing


With toffee sauce of course - its even in the picture in the article.

Sacked senior Intel sales head accuses IoT chief of perjury


Re: representing yourself in court

When is it a good idea?

GIMPS crack whip on plucky processor to find largest prime number


Thats my new password sorted

I'll just add 1 letter and symbol in random places and perhaps remove a few digits from the middle and I should be good to go!

Long Island Iced Tea Corp renamed itself to Long Blockchain – and its shares went bananas


Oh dear

My office is rife with trading crypto, everyone is egging everyone else on and you can see the fear of missing out in peoples faces as they get talked into it. The best bit is they don't realise they are not buying actual currency but rather opening long positions with outrageous fees on a gambling platforms that looks like a trading application.

Somebody is going to start leveraging their stake and its going to get messy with it all goes wrong

UK, US govt and pals on WannaCry culprit: It woz the Norks wot done it



Since it impacted the NHS in a big way is it akin to dropping a bomb on a hospital? An attack against civilians?

Don't people usualy go to war over stuff like that?

Note: bombing brainwashed nork peasents isn't something I want to happen - I'm just wondering.

Windows 10 bundles a briefly vulnerable password manager



Keeper makes me think of the game Dungeon Keeper which was my favourite game for a number of years.

One more credit insurer abandons Maplin Electronics


Re: Probably for nought but...

What a great idea. They could have a couple of traveling engineers who do workshops at all the different stores - It has to be someone who knows what they are talking about, not a sales rep. A couple of hours with a tangable goal and key learning objectives. Not just "build this kit-product we sell". No hard selling please.

Electronics is something I completely missed the boat on and and would love to be taught the basics

PHWOAR, those noughty inks: '0.1%' named Stat of The Year

Paris Hilton

7.7 billion: the number of active phone connections in the world

Google tells me that 1bn people do not have access to electricity globally. Its probably fair to assume these people also do not have mobile phones. So at least 1bn connections are made that are not between people? The point of a phone connection is to communicate?

I know that I am not currently on the phone so that rules me out, so who are making these calls?

Wait, are we talking dial-up internet in this figure?

YouTuber cements head inside microwave oven


Like me dammit!

Why do people refuse to think through the next steps of their action, project, email etc? Doesn't anybody consider the route down before deciding to climbing a tree?

Thinking that your buddy with an electric drill attempting to remove the plaster encasing your head is somehow a suitable mitigation of any dangers that arrise from this prank is scary!

The old refain is "what did they expect?" and I suspect they didn't get that far; they got as far as the idea of rising youtube views/likes

Bitcoin price soars amid technical troubles for exchanges


14,400 BTC?

Crumbs, someone has made a killing.

About 4 years ago a buddy and I lamented that fact we had missed the bitcoin boat. Oops!

I am wondering who is buying these up at current prices because they must feel there is still some further price increase to be had. Who knows, the sky is the limit I suppose.

I'll focus on paying down the mortgage for now and when its done I can blow the extra cash on risky ventures.

Creepy Cayla doll violates liberté publique, screams French data protection agency


Why though?

Not having kids I don't quite get why this feature would be desirable to a parent. Just let them play, surely?

User asked help desk to debug a Post-it Note that survived a reboot



It amazes me how many people forget that English is context based. It drives me mad when people say "You know that problem we had yesterday?" and I seethe as they tell me nothing but believe they have given me enough to go on.

I usually say "no", or look at them blankly.

A couple of extra words and I will know EXACTLY what they are talking about.

"You know that problem with the firewall blocking access to x yesterday?"

"Yes, go on.."

My girlfriend recently said "you know that thing, on the thing?" when trying to describe a wisteria on an arbor in the front garden of a house we walked by.

Her native tongue is not English (although you wouldn't know it) so I let her off.

$10,000-a-dram whisky 'wasn't even a malt'

Paris Hilton

Does it mean anything that from the tasting they were unable to tell it was fake?

The fact I prefer to mix it with coke tells you everything you need to know about me and whisky.

I wonder what the bartenders expression would be at asking for $10k whisky and then mixing it?

Those IT gadget freebies you picked up this year? They make AWFUL Christmas presents


Re-gifting is an art

My aunt gives gifts that leave you unsure if you are a loved nephew or another name on a list; there is never enough evidence to be sure either way. My brother gives gifts and says "I didn't like it". After realizing he shouldn't have said that he says "its quite good though, it's one of the better ones available".

The most recent gift from my brother was an electric toothbrush from Lidl.

Fake tech support 'scam' husband and wife banned FOR LIFE from computer repair world


Re: Thats a plan...

Provided your hourly rate is sufficiently excessive there should be smiles all round :)

The UK's super duper 1,000mph car is being tested in Cornwall


1000mph is all very well but when you are stuck in stationary traffic on the M25 you will feel a bit silly, especially at 40lt/s fuel usage.

Boffin wins (Ig) Nobel prize asking if cats can be liquid



Babypod page says "recommended by gynecologists".

What does this mean?

Do gynecologists know what is best for child development?

Do gynecologists accept that having a vaginal speaker is a general good thing. Should all women have one?

I suspect this really means "gynecologist couldn't find anything inherently wrong with it in there" which isn't exactly a recommendation.

Recommending something and declaring something safe are quite different in my mind.

Disclaimer: I am fully unqualified to talk authoritatively about the female reproductive system and am therefore ready and willing to be wrong on all counts.

Your boss asks you to run the 'cloud project': Ever-changing wish lists, packs of 'ideas'... and 1 deadline


It is only a job

Bob did the right thing - eventually. As soon as your family/personal life is being impacted in this way, just walk. Its only a job, of which there are many.

I often see that folk are closed minded and scared about getting another job and its really not that bad. You can help yourself here by regularly saving some of your salary (which is pretty decent, all things considered) so you know you can pay the bills for a few months. Whilst is good to have another job lined up, its not essential; this line of thinking just keeps you in your current crap job.

The request to "do more with less" is akin to being given the finger which is your queue to say "ok, I willl!" and walk back to your desk, write your resignation letter on company time and start to feel immediately better.

Google will appeal €2.9bn EU fine


Google has a monopoly in 13 out of the 14 top commercial functions of the web

Wow. It's helpful to be reminded of things like that

China can't find anyone smart enough to run its whizzbang $180m 1,640ft radio telescope


Re: I would do it...

The proper technique is to craft your CV so that you appear to have all the skills, blag the interview with the plan to read some Microsoft books before your first day (optional).

Theres a small chance the hiring manager may be able to ask some technical questions to prevent this though so be warned!

Gulp! Drones dodge spray from California's gaping moist glory hole


The water near the edge is so calm and perfectly smooth. It makes me uncomfortable.

Uber hires Obama's attorney-general to review its workplaces


Is quoting the % of female staff ironic willy waving?

A webcam is not so much a leering eye as the barrel of a gun


I think this is a reflection of the state of IT security. Somebody *could* have comprmised my laptop or software and I simply wouldn't know. I have to trust in.. well what, there isn't anything to trust in - the only guaranteed option is to obscure the lense. And whilst I am not to bothered by them watching me type an email or browse all kings of things, I don't want them seeing me. Why? Because I can't deny looking like me when a video gets posted to my family after I didn't pay the demanded ransom. But a capture of whats on my screen can be easily forged and is easy to deny etc, same as audio. Easy to say "thats not me".

What about when you are on a conference call and you unknowingly clicked the 'send video' button and then proceed to pick your nose or roll your eyes and what is being said.

Does this mean I am always acting in a way that I wouldnt want to share when at a laptop? No, but I want to have the choice to...

Zuckerberg thinks he's cyber-Jesus – and publishes a 6,000-word world-saving manifesto


A nice dream, sure.

You know how every few years your brain unhelpfully reminds you of various stupid things you did or said in front of people (which made you feel stupid) and you cring and wish it never happened? Well, be happy that you usually don't do it on a global scale and that you can hope that none of the people remember it any more.

I think everone wants what Mark is talking about and it sounds good (and makes us feel good) to talk about the problems as it tricks us into thinking we are *doing* when we actually are not. What is lacking here are any real solutions with some backing money, or a down to earth acknowledgement of the human condition or general human nature (selfishness and greed etc) which has and always will keep this Uptia in the realms of fantasy. A perfect example here is that Mark failed to acknowledge that his wealth is built on the fact people don't know or understand about privacy, personal information, and advertising, and dont know how value them properly. At a base level this is not alturism but greed which he has leveraged that into a successful business that we all wish we had thought of. If he was as compassionate as he wants us to believe in this article then to help people he'd have ensured their data isn't sold and their privacy is intact... but then he wouldn't make any money and who wants to start an enterprise to not make money? The reality is at odds with the fantasy.

If he plowed vast sums of money into useful projects or rolled up his sleeves and assisted real people on the ground then I could respect what he was saying. Till then, as the article noted, he is probably high.

Baby supernova spotted, just three hours old and a real cutie



When it comes to space related images I am never too sure what to expect/believe?

I saw the title image and was fairly amazed at the resolution, considering the distance. Then I saw the second set of image and was like "oh yeah, it just a blob, thats more like it" and felt a little embarrassed.

A non-Standards Soviet approved measure of weight? Sod off, BBC!


Re: Er ...

A discussion at work raised the question of a negative scale since 0mH suggests indifference, whereas -500mH would mean you scuttle half your fleet in an attempt to avoid mounting a rescue.

Sage Business School founder imprisoned – but you wouldn't know it

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Millionaire Business School??

The subtle emotional/greed hook that suggests you will become a millionaire by attending this course. Emotive branding should be avoided; after all, if it was a quality course why would they need to pander to our subconsious desires?


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