* Posts by Black Rat

149 posts • joined 13 Jul 2013

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Clear August 21 in your diary: It's a total solar eclipse for the smart

Black Rat
Alien

Space Above & Beyond Trivia Teaser

Is this the eclipse during James Dark Moon was born [Season 1, Episode 20 "Stardust"] ?

KLIZZIE DAH-NES-TSA AH-JAH BE-LA-SANA THAN-ZIE BE-TKAH KLIZZIE A-KHA BE DIBEH BE-TKAH GLOE-IH AH-JAH BE-TKAH YAH-DI-ZINI BE-TKAH KLESH DZEH DZEH BE-TKAH DIBEH D-AH BE-LA-SANA GAH KLESH

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The ultimate full English breakfast – have your SAY

Black Rat

Hienz beans, Cumberland sausage really?

IMHO the classic full English breakfast should only be made from ingredients sourced at the local cash & carry and served in the ambiance of a run down 1960's café. Smedley's baked beans stewing in the pot for a week, Ketchup that could strip paint and sausages of such questionable content a tourist from Ankh Morpork would feel at home.

7
1

Jodie Who-ttaker? The Doctor is in

Black Rat
Coat

Yorkshire?

Hope we see the Doctor using Ecky-Thump instead of Venusian aikido ;)

26
1

Roland McGrath steps down as glibc maintainer after 30 years

Black Rat
Pint

Somebody Please

Buy that man a beer

17
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May the excessive force be with you: Chap cuffed after Star Trek v Star Wars row turns bloody

Black Rat
Joke

This is for all time the Ultimate Showdown. (sing along if you've had enough beer lol)

https://youtu.be/4WgT9gy4zQA

1
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European MPs push for right to repair rules

Black Rat
Coat

Re: Lead free solder

<Sigh> I do miss that first joint of the day, that heavy sweet aroma with a hint of singed fingers. The gentle hiss of the sponge and distinctive rattle of a Weller soldering iron being thrown the last inch back into the spring holder.

Must ...resist.... urge.....don't need to mooch through the junk bins at Hardings Electronics in Cheltenham. Sod it! I'm getting my coat

7
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Concorde without the cacophony: NASA thinks it's cracked quiet supersonic flight

Black Rat
Black Helicopters

Smells Like A Skunk Escaped

I wonder how much Lockheed is bringing to the project? It could be this slippery supersonic design has already flying for some time.

0
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Blunder down under: self-driving Aussie cars still being thwarted by kangaroos

Black Rat
Coat

Ah I see the problem...

https://youtu.be/7_HAFsPooR4

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South Korean hosting co. pays $1m ransom to end eight-day outage

Black Rat
Devil

Strange, every web host has a 'force majeure' (it's not our fault / pixies ate the backups) clause in the hosting contract for just this sort of contingency. So one has to wonder where the pressure is coming from to pay up.

2
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Apple appears to relax ban on apps fetching, running extra code – remains aloof as always

Black Rat

Ah Bisto..

So Apple can can say their updated OS is totally secure, pull out our fingernails we still can't unlock the device. Yet any three letter agency with the clout to alter the DNS registry can quietly insert code remotely into any vulnerable app on a suspects phone.

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3

Microsoft founder Paul Allen reveals world's biggest-ever plane

Black Rat

Re: Hang on...

With the exception of Thunderbird Six pretty much everything that flew was nuclear powered.

14
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Three home security systems found to be vulnerable – if hackers were hiding in bushes

Black Rat

Meanwhile a long way back in the bush

During the happy days when most routers used WEP encryption my personal best for an urban WiFi hack was about 100 meters using a relatively small homemade Yagi antenna and a stock wireless dongle. Though the bandwidth sucked it was no worse than dial-up, plenty enough to get online or pwn the owners box.

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Robot lands a 737 by hand, on a dare from DARPA

Black Rat

I feel sorry for the 9/11 conspiracy theorists, this will drive them nuts

1
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Japanese researchers spin up toilet paper gyroscopes for science

Black Rat
Coat

Science my arse!

Izal know what's going on.

This is about who's stealing the loo roll

7
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America's mystery X-37B space drone lands after two years in orbit

Black Rat

Re: it is unlikely that it carries any weapons... cough... cough...

Salyut-3 space station and its successors had a modified Rikhter R-23 aircraft cannon mounted for 'testing' purposes. At four feet 10 inches long it's a comfortable fit for the American bird.

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Shock horror: US military sticks jump leads on human brains to teach them a lesson

Black Rat
Boffin

Is anybody else having flashbacks of JOE-90?

https://youtu.be/4utQWy9heEI?t=41s

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NATO secures adoption of submerged drone data comms standard

Black Rat
Devil

The JANUS magazine link suggested by Google was a NSFW shock

3
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Ewe, get a womb! Docs grow baby lambs in shrink-wrap plastic bags

Black Rat
Coat

The Kindred

The Kindred. Scaring artificial womb researchers from working at home since 1987

https://youtu.be/yPIKZP5Pdug

2
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Can you make a warzone delivery drone? UK.gov wants to give you cash

Black Rat
Coat

The last mile delivery

The current world record for a pumpkin chucking cannon is just over a mile at 5545 feet..

2
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Alert: Using a web ad blocker may identify you – to advertisers

Black Rat

Re: Happy Tracking

Never hurts to check your browser fingerprint with a visit to https://panopticlick.eff.org/

as many machines running Adblock & NoScript can still be uniquely identified. Even with 3rd party plugins, Cookies, Javascript & Flash disabled it's fascinating how much data can be gleaned.

3
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Trump sets sights on net neutrality

Black Rat
Devil

Re: President Swoop and Poop

Don't worry soon the British will retake the colonies and sort the mess out.

8
1

BOFH: The Boss, the floppy and the work 'experience'

Black Rat
Coat

Count Your Blessings

Back the early nineties landed a 'computer' job for Dowty Fuel systems and spent the first week in the machine shop repairing punch tape readers. Vending machine tea flavoured with cutting oil and a hint of cyanide vapour from the plating shop across the car park, fond memories...

mines the one with the big hammer in the pocket

4
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Now UK bans carry-on lappies, phones, slabs on flights from six nations amid bomb fears

Black Rat
Devil

The unprobed limits

In M.R.D. Foot's history of the Special Operations Executive there's a mention about plastic explosive being edible, now bend over and cough while I check for a detonator.

0
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Vultures Wiith Lasers!

Black Rat
Alert

Vultures Wiith Lasers!

I saw this and thought of you guys, vultures with lasers in a kids cartoon from the 1980's

https://youtu.be/7mDVMtcAzX0?t=4m42s

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Force employees to take DNA tests for bosses? We've got a new law to make that happen, beam House Republicans

Black Rat
Devil

Wait for the ammendments...

Punishments will involve the removal of redundant organs such as an eye, a kidney, a lung, or a testicle.

May his merciful shadow fall upon you.

7
1

Repentant priest from Cuntis sorry he dressed as Hugh Hefner

Black Rat
Gimp

I love El Reg, it brings me all the best wierdness

14
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Vice News YouTube video commenter set for retrial over 'menacing' posts

Black Rat
Big Brother

Joy Alertness Citizens

This slope has been greased for your safety

2
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LUNAR-CY! SpaceX announces a Moon trip-for-two it'll inevitably miss the deadline on

Black Rat
Coat

That'll be some holiday photos I won't mind seeing

Mines the flightsuit with the "Salvage-1" mission patch

9
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Brit cops can keep millions of mugshots of innocent folks on file

Black Rat

and what about the other agencies who they shared images & data with?

6
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I was authorized to trash my employer's network, sysadmin tells court

Black Rat
Facepalm

Revenge is dish best served remotely, ideally from a self erasing bash script on the bosses laptop.

34
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UPS & drones: Delivery company launches UAV from truck

Black Rat

Any excuse to throw a parcel over the fence

8
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US Homeland Security is so secure even its own staff can't log in

Black Rat
Devil

Probably all the Facebook passwords being added.

3
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Jun-OH-NO! NASA's Jupiter probe in busted helium-valve drama

Black Rat
Alien

So once the public forget about it we can rendezvous with the anomaly

7
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Huge if true: iPhone 8 will feature 3D selfies, rodent defibrillator

Black Rat

Now listen carefully Bond...

New iPhone X, push the earbuds into the sports nutrition bar thus to make a demolition charge.

4
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HPE blames solid state drive failure for outages at Australian Tax Office

Black Rat
Devil

Fake News Alert

Hackers not getting the blame for a government computer failure? pull the other one!

7
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Dead cockroaches make excellent magnets – now what are we supposed to do with this info?

Black Rat
Alien

Seems legit

Phase two: cockroach in a railgun

24
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All of Blighty's attack submarines are out of action – report

Black Rat
Pirate

Enough of this blind man's buff with baseball bats!

Crank up the active sonar to 11 and let's get the supercavitating sub fighters off the drawingboard and into the water. That'll give everybody something to shkval about.

1
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Trump cybersecurity order morphs into 2,200-plus-word extravaganza

Black Rat
Black Helicopters

Cyberattack on the nation's electricity grid...

Seriously Mr Trump? go read Paul Parfomak's 2014 report "Physical Security of the U.S. Power Grid: High-Voltage Transformer Substations", digital shenanigans are the least of your worries it seems.

Since 2003 at least six transformers are known to have been destroyed by rounds from a common relatively small calibre hunting rifle, the FBI can tell you how many other incidents have not been made public for security reasons.

6
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The best of Reg readers' David Hockney-style logo redesigns

Black Rat
Childcatcher

I find the lack of comic sans most disturbing

10
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NASA's Curiosity puts cat among the climate pigeons: Lack of CO2 sinks water theory

Black Rat
Alien

Obvious Really

Our alien lizard overlords wanted more beach-front basking property on Earth so they simply removed the water from Mars. This flowed from the stargate portal at Giza into the Nile and caused the previously unexplained water erosion of the Sphinx enclosure.

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GCHQ cyber-chief slams security outfits peddling 'medieval witchcraft'

Black Rat

adequate pernicious toe-rags

Seriously with comments like that and they wonder why they cannot attract new talent. Then again maybe it's a recruitment test, a challenge for those with the stones to go after the GCHQ firewall.

0
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Who do you want to be Who? VOTE for the BBC's next Time Lord

Black Rat

I think Idris Elba could work then again so could the return of Catherine Tate, it's a timey whiney meta crisis thing. But if you really want to mess with your head... is Paul Darrow (Avon of Blakes7) still about?

1
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Black Rat

Re: Gary Newman?

oh I don't know I found this pic of Gary Newman with a companion

http://www.eonline.com/photos/19432/emmys-2016-party-pics/719793

2
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Twin brothers. One went into space. The other didn't. NASA reveals how their bodies differ

Black Rat

Re: Did they test them for telepathic powers?

Seeing science fiction become fact does bring a smug grin to this old space pirate's face.

FYI: if you burn your jets hard you may catch the 'Bishop' over at the bushcraftuk forum who is currently unloading a scifi book collection. He's had it hidden under his server room floor for twenty years so lots of gems with the really rare ones destined for the Imperial College scifi library in London.

3
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Naughty sysadmins use dark magic to fix PCs for clueless users

Black Rat

Technomagic

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

Arthur C. Clarke

Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.

Barry Gehm

Any technology, no matter how primitive, is magic to those who don't understand it.

Florence Ambrose

16
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Cisco: We know what you all want – a $10,000 70in whiteboard with a $190/mo cloud sub

Black Rat
Black Helicopters

Re: 12 Microphones!

For those not familiar with nasal resonance meet the beast of 3840 and the perils of VOX

https://youtu.be/XJpALdxzFzA

0
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Make America, wait, what again? US Army may need foreign weapons to keep up

Black Rat
Joke

So when are the Americans fitting a gun turret and anti-tank missiles to it?

0
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Boffins turn timid mice into psycho killers – by firing lasers into brains

Black Rat
Facepalm

ooh crikey!

It's real?, I thought it was Danger Mouse's origin story

3
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What happens in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas: Razer prototypes nicked

Black Rat

Re: Have you heard this one?

Same here running a Triptych of 22"s in the office mostly coding and website related stuff that requires a real time eye. Couple of years back though I was lucky enough to meet 'Kohai' one of the staffers from Chess.com, an amazing woman with insane levels of multi tasking skill who was running a five screen monster at home. Simultaneously handling customer support from billing to technical SNAFU's, overseeing the forum/chat mayhem and somehow finding time to bug test the next code push.

So yeah there's definitely a market for the little Razer.

1
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Investigatory Powers Act signed into UK law by Queen

Black Rat
Coat

I'll get my coat...

I've got an access point to crack

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