* Posts by malle-herbert

764 posts • joined 1 Jul 2013

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Disgraced Entatech founder Jason Tsai tossed in the clink for contempt of court

malle-herbert
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Joke

A Taiwanese law firm calling itself “Just Good Lawers”

Maybe Trump could hire these guys ?

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An 'AI' that can diagnose schizophrenia from a brain scan – here's how it works (or doesn't)

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Aren't all people a little schizophrenic ?

Especially those who have to telepathically contact their invisible friend a couple of times a day ?

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House fire, walk with me: Kodipocalypse now includes conflagration

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

"Making the pirate experience less fun is part of the strategy."

How about making the legal alternatives more fun ?

Like no more :

- putting ads on content I've paid for...

- DRM preventing me from playing content on a device of my choosing...

- constant reminders that piracy=evil even though i'm not a f*cking pirate...

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Firefox doesn't need to be No 1 – and that's OK, 'cos it's falling off a cliff

malle-herbert
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Stop

It should be made illegal...

To bundle installers with Chrome...

Every time I visit my friends they have 'somehow' managed to install Chrome as their new default browser and are struggling to remove the damn thing and return to their previous one...

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Alexa, why aren't you working? No – I didn't say twerking. I, oh God...

malle-herbert
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Joke

I hope you like creamed corn...

Listening...

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FUKE NEWS: Robot snaps inside drowned Fukushima nuke plant

malle-herbert
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Re: Grainy images?

And the fact that radiation messes with the optical sensor of the camera...

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What sort of silicon brain do you need for artificial intelligence?

malle-herbert
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What sort of silicon brain do you need for artificial intelligence?

Maybe an analog one ?

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User filed fake trouble tickets to take helpful sysadmin to lunches

malle-herbert
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Happy

Re: Has a customer ever apologised to you?

Yes they have...

After telling me that they wanted to do something in Microsoft Excel that they thought was impossible, and me demonstrating that it indeed WAS possible I got a nice bottle of wine and an apology...

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Breathless F-35 pilots to get oxygen boost via algorithm tweak

malle-herbert
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Re: Why oxygen generators?

Because :

A: At different pressures a different oxygen content is required.

B : You also need to get rid of the CO2 generated by the pilot.

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UK regulator set to ban ads depicting bumbling manchildren

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Will they also ban ads...

That lead me to believe I will suddenly be attractive to thousands of women once I spray their crap on my body ?

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Jodie Who-ttaker? The Doctor is in

malle-herbert
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Re: Oh and female Timelords ...

The Rani anyone ?

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Juicero does to its staff what your hands can do to its overpriced juice sacks

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

Re: YouTube teardown

Yup... here it is :

BOLTR: Juicero, Cold Press Juicer for Rich Weirdos

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'Many' ways to create artificial intelligence. Just ask the UK's AI businesses

malle-herbert
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Joke

Re: Will the future say, "Oh, that's not AI...."?

You mean when the robots are coming to kill us all...

"Oh, that's not AI, the skill is pre-programmed..."

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Hey, remember that monkey selfie copyright drama a few years ago? Get this – It's just hit the US appeals courts

malle-herbert
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Trollface

We are all monkeys...

so why withhold copyright from this particular one ?

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European MPs push for right to repair rules

malle-herbert
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Re : "and LEDs that likewise can't be replaced"

You're right...

LED's have a pretty long lifespan... Li-ion batteries on the other hand...

And laptop manufacturers who suddenly decided it would be a great idea to solder the SSD straight to the motherboard... bastards !

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Male escort says he gave up IT to do something more meaningful

malle-herbert
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Joke

He should have become an IT consultant...

Since those also like to give their customers a good shafting...

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Shock: NASA denies secret child sex slave cannibal colony on Mars

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Wow...

Just when I thought this world couldn't get any stupider...

No wonder people like Elon Musk are so eager to get off this planet !

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No way to sugarcoat this: I'm afraid Uranus opens and closes to accept particle streams

malle-herbert
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Joke

Dancing light patterns around Uranus...

Sounds like a gay disco-planet....

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Australian govt promises to push Five Eyes nations to break encryption

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

Five eyes...

And still completely blind to the fact that weakening encryption for law-enforcement would also make life easier for criminals, hackers and oppressive governments...

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Honda plant in Japan briefly stops making cars after fresh WannaCrypt outbreak

malle-herbert
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Joke

WannaCar ?

See title...

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F-Secure's Mikko Hypponen on IoT: If it uses electricity, it will go online

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

"We can't avoid the IoT revolution by refusing to play part."

Ohhhhh... yes we can !

Because some people actually value their privacy...

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Oxford profs tell Twitter, Facebook to take action against political bots

malle-herbert
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Trollface

So...

Trump is a political bot now ?

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Microsoft's new Surface laptop defeats teardown – with glue

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

Looks like Microsoft is copying Apple...

With everything soldered-in and held together with glue...

No way i'm ever going to buy something that's completely unfixable.

Because when it dies you can kiss goodbye to your data....

But that's the whole idea isn't it ?

Forcing people to back everything up to "the cloud"...

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Elon Musk reveals Mars colony rocket capable of bringing pizza joints to the red planet

malle-herbert
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Just build a rocket that can be split in two...

A large version that transports humans+cargo to mars and a smaller one that is capable of transporting humans back to earth...

The larger part can stay behing on mars and can be used for building materials to create housing etc...

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malle-herbert
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Joke

Venus is too nasty, Mercury too hot and the moons of Jupiter or Saturn too distant.

And that's why they call it the 'goldilocks' zone...

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Facebook has a solution to all the toxic dross on its site – wait, it's not AI?

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Re: pictures of your pet naked mole-rats...

Those probably get flagged as kiddie-porn anyway...

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Just like knotted-up headphones: Entangled photons stay entwined over record distance

malle-herbert
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Re: May and Trump issue Interpol arrest warrant

Einstein was one of the few scientists who actually thought quantum physics was bullsh*it....

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BT's Ryan Reynolds helicopter Wi-Fi ads 'misleading', thunders ad watchdog

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Re : that advertisements will be vetted first...

If we did that, there would be no advertisements....

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Pizza proffer punctures privacy protection, prompts pals' perfidy

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

3,108 out of 4,494 undergrads who chose to participate

So... not a real study then...

Because as we all know, college kids would do anything for a pizza...

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AWS launches celebrity-spotting-as-a-service: What a time to be alive

malle-herbert
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Joke

Re: What about buttocks recognition? Maybe it would work better!

You don't need a computer to recognise an ass...

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Swedish school pumps up volume to ease toilet trauma

malle-herbert
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Joke

Every piss you take...

I'll be watching you...

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Has riddle of the 1977 'Wow!' signal finally been cracked? Maybe...

malle-herbert
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Joke

Re: *Douglas Adams quote goes here :

"Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space."

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Watch out Facebook, Google – the EU wants easy access to your data

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

Re: And how does this help?

Exactly... and that's why governments want a 'backdoor' because having access to all our data is just step one...

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Microsoft officially hangs up on old Skype phones, users fuming

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Re: a defecto standard...

Best...typo....ever.... ;-)

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Please do not scare the pigeons – they'll crash the network

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

Had something similar...

With a WLAN (Wireless-LAN) unit that stopped functioning intermittently...

Turned out a bunch of pigeons had a nest in a tree nearby and sometimes would sit on the small dish blocking the signal coming from the other building...

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Paxo trashes privacy, social media and fake news at Infosec 2017

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

"I am prepared to trust the security forces."

Until they come knocking at your door at 4 am in the morning because of something you said on the internet that the current govenment doesn't like...

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'My PC needs to lose weight' says user with FAT filesystem

malle-herbert
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Joke

Too bad he didn't use FAT32...

Then he could have just converted it back to FAT16...

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Boffins play with the world's most powerful X‑ray gun to shoot molecules

malle-herbert
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Joke

Now if only...

We could make it shark-mountable...

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WannaCrypt: Pwnage is a fact of life but cleanup could and should be way easier

malle-herbert
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Trollface

An entire article blaming Microsoft...

And not ONE mention of the fact that there are certain three-letter agencies hoarding vulnerabilities for their own nefarious purposes...

Now I am NOT a Microsoft fanboy... but they DID put a patch out there for a long-obsolete OS...

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Event horizons around black holes do exist, say astroboffins

malle-herbert
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Joke

Re: Promotion?

Ober Sturmtruppenführer Relativity ?

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Sergey Brin building humanitarian blimp for lifesaving leisure

malle-herbert
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Joke

So...

They're gonna call it the Brindenburg ?

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Chipotle: Hackers did to our registers what our burritos did to your colon

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Re: We need an ARSE icon...

E pluribus anus ?

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'Do not tell Elon': Ex-SpaceX man claims firm cut corners on NASA part tests

malle-herbert
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Coat

Yep...

After having been on the wrong end of the stick myself I practise C.Y.A. religiously...

//For those who don't know the abbreviation... it's : Cover Your Ass...

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'Odour' from AnalTech ramming leads to hazmat team callout

malle-herbert
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Joke

Must have caused quite a stir...

Having an entire hazmat team climbing in and out of their hole !

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India makes biometrics mandatory for all e-gov projects

malle-herbert
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Lots of people have said it before...

Biometrics should ONLY be used instead of a username... NOT as a

password !

Hope the Indian government is smart enough to realise this...

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IT firms guilty of blasting customers with soul-numbing canned music

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Re: Suggestions for tech firms' hold music

Marillion - The answering machine

Genesis - No Reply At All

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malle-herbert
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Trollface
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Mouse sperm kept frozen in SPAAAAACE yields healthy pups

malle-herbert
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Joke

Gee, Brain, what do you want to do tonight?

The same thing we do every night, Pinky, Try to take over space !!

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Wondering why the office is so productive? Yep, Twitter's knackered

malle-herbert
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Trollface

In...

Before the first Trump joke... ;-)

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You'll get a kick out of this: Qualcomm patents the 'Internet of Shoes'

malle-herbert
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Trollface

So...

If your GPS tells your shoes you're in a bad neighbourhood your shoes will tell you to pick up the pace ?

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