* Posts by malle-herbert

747 posts • joined 1 Jul 2013

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No way to sugarcoat this: I'm afraid Uranus opens and closes to accept particle streams

malle-herbert
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Joke

Dancing light patterns around Uranus...

Sounds like a gay disco-planet....

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Australian govt promises to push Five Eyes nations to break encryption

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

Five eyes...

And still completely blind to the fact that weakening encryption for law-enforcement would also make life easier for criminals, hackers and oppressive governments...

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Honda plant in Japan briefly stops making cars after fresh WannaCrypt outbreak

malle-herbert
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Joke

WannaCar ?

See title...

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F-Secure's Mikko Hypponen on IoT: If it uses electricity, it will go online

malle-herbert
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"We can't avoid the IoT revolution by refusing to play part."

Ohhhhh... yes we can !

Because some people actually value their privacy...

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Oxford profs tell Twitter, Facebook to take action against political bots

malle-herbert
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Trollface

So...

Trump is a political bot now ?

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Microsoft's new Surface laptop defeats teardown – with glue

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

Looks like Microsoft is copying Apple...

With everything soldered-in and held together with glue...

No way i'm ever going to buy something that's completely unfixable.

Because when it dies you can kiss goodbye to your data....

But that's the whole idea isn't it ?

Forcing people to back everything up to "the cloud"...

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Elon Musk reveals Mars colony rocket capable of bringing pizza joints to the red planet

malle-herbert
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Just build a rocket that can be split in two...

A large version that transports humans+cargo to mars and a smaller one that is capable of transporting humans back to earth...

The larger part can stay behing on mars and can be used for building materials to create housing etc...

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malle-herbert
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Venus is too nasty, Mercury too hot and the moons of Jupiter or Saturn too distant.

And that's why they call it the 'goldilocks' zone...

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Facebook has a solution to all the toxic dross on its site – wait, it's not AI?

malle-herbert
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Re: pictures of your pet naked mole-rats...

Those probably get flagged as kiddie-porn anyway...

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Just like knotted-up headphones: Entangled photons stay entwined over record distance

malle-herbert
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Re: May and Trump issue Interpol arrest warrant

Einstein was one of the few scientists who actually thought quantum physics was bullsh*it....

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BT's Ryan Reynolds helicopter Wi-Fi ads 'misleading', thunders ad watchdog

malle-herbert
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Re : that advertisements will be vetted first...

If we did that, there would be no advertisements....

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Pizza proffer punctures privacy protection, prompts pals' perfidy

malle-herbert
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3,108 out of 4,494 undergrads who chose to participate

So... not a real study then...

Because as we all know, college kids would do anything for a pizza...

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AWS launches celebrity-spotting-as-a-service: What a time to be alive

malle-herbert
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Re: What about buttocks recognition? Maybe it would work better!

You don't need a computer to recognise an ass...

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Swedish school pumps up volume to ease toilet trauma

malle-herbert
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Every piss you take...

I'll be watching you...

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Has riddle of the 1977 'Wow!' signal finally been cracked? Maybe...

malle-herbert
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Re: *Douglas Adams quote goes here :

"Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space."

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Watch out Facebook, Google – the EU wants easy access to your data

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

Re: And how does this help?

Exactly... and that's why governments want a 'backdoor' because having access to all our data is just step one...

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Microsoft officially hangs up on old Skype phones, users fuming

malle-herbert
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Re: a defecto standard...

Best...typo....ever.... ;-)

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Please do not scare the pigeons – they'll crash the network

malle-herbert
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Had something similar...

With a WLAN (Wireless-LAN) unit that stopped functioning intermittently...

Turned out a bunch of pigeons had a nest in a tree nearby and sometimes would sit on the small dish blocking the signal coming from the other building...

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Paxo trashes privacy, social media and fake news at Infosec 2017

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

"I am prepared to trust the security forces."

Until they come knocking at your door at 4 am in the morning because of something you said on the internet that the current govenment doesn't like...

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'My PC needs to lose weight' says user with FAT filesystem

malle-herbert
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Too bad he didn't use FAT32...

Then he could have just converted it back to FAT16...

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Boffins play with the world's most powerful X‑ray gun to shoot molecules

malle-herbert
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Joke

Now if only...

We could make it shark-mountable...

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WannaCrypt: Pwnage is a fact of life but cleanup could and should be way easier

malle-herbert
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Trollface

An entire article blaming Microsoft...

And not ONE mention of the fact that there are certain three-letter agencies hoarding vulnerabilities for their own nefarious purposes...

Now I am NOT a Microsoft fanboy... but they DID put a patch out there for a long-obsolete OS...

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Event horizons around black holes do exist, say astroboffins

malle-herbert
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Re: Promotion?

Ober Sturmtruppenführer Relativity ?

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Sergey Brin building humanitarian blimp for lifesaving leisure

malle-herbert
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So...

They're gonna call it the Brindenburg ?

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Chipotle: Hackers did to our registers what our burritos did to your colon

malle-herbert
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Re: We need an ARSE icon...

E pluribus anus ?

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'Do not tell Elon': Ex-SpaceX man claims firm cut corners on NASA part tests

malle-herbert
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Yep...

After having been on the wrong end of the stick myself I practise C.Y.A. religiously...

//For those who don't know the abbreviation... it's : Cover Your Ass...

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'Odour' from AnalTech ramming leads to hazmat team callout

malle-herbert
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Must have caused quite a stir...

Having an entire hazmat team climbing in and out of their hole !

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India makes biometrics mandatory for all e-gov projects

malle-herbert
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Lots of people have said it before...

Biometrics should ONLY be used instead of a username... NOT as a

password !

Hope the Indian government is smart enough to realise this...

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IT firms guilty of blasting customers with soul-numbing canned music

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Re: Suggestions for tech firms' hold music

Marillion - The answering machine

Genesis - No Reply At All

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malle-herbert
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Mouse sperm kept frozen in SPAAAAACE yields healthy pups

malle-herbert
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Gee, Brain, what do you want to do tonight?

The same thing we do every night, Pinky, Try to take over space !!

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Wondering why the office is so productive? Yep, Twitter's knackered

malle-herbert
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Trollface

In...

Before the first Trump joke... ;-)

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You'll get a kick out of this: Qualcomm patents the 'Internet of Shoes'

malle-herbert
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Trollface

So...

If your GPS tells your shoes you're in a bad neighbourhood your shoes will tell you to pick up the pace ?

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And finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin hologram ... Sir, it is only wafer thin

malle-herbert
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Joke

Help me Obi-wan Kenobi...

Your my only hope...

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Self-driving car devs face 6-month backlog on vital $85,000 LIDAR kit

malle-herbert
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I wonder...

How they'll manage to deal with interference once the roads are full of these self-driving cars, and each and everyone of them is shooting out laser-pulses all over the place...

The same goes for radar-based systems...

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Backup crack-up: Fasthosts locks people out of data storage for days amid WCry panic

malle-herbert
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Trollface

I guess their customers...

WannaCry right about now...

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Leeds cops issue appeal for man-sized todger

malle-herbert
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Awww come on...

Every guy in the world is looking for a large penis !

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Yo, patch that because scum still wanna exploit WannaCrypt-linked vuln

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

Re: Every scum bag...

Unlike the scumbags who where hoarding these vulnerabilities in the first place...

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Virtual reality upstart UploadVR allegedly had in-house 'kink room,' drugs, rampant sexism

malle-herbert
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Sounds like a fun place to work !

See title... and icon...

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Avast blocks the entire internet – again

malle-herbert
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It probably thought...

SVCHOST.EXE was a piece of spyware trying to connect to the internet !

Oh wait...

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Phil Collins and supergroup exposed as cloud investors

malle-herbert
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Philip Collins Limited Directors Pension Scheme...

All so he can buy a nice home by the sea ?

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FCC blames DDoS for weekend web lockout

malle-herbert
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Re: Obvious ploy

"all packets must be treated equally"...

Yeah... and all people must also be treated equally...

But that doesn't stop us from locking up criminals !

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malle-herbert
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FAIL

How convenient...

Wouldn't have anything to do with John Oliver and gofccyourself.com

would it ?

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Facebook is abusive. It's time to divorce it

malle-herbert
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Just treat Facebook like any other drug...

Go cold turkey and never look back !

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High Court hands Lauri Love permission to appeal extradition to US

malle-herbert
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Trollface

If all else fails...

He could always try his luck at the ecuadorian embassy...

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IT error at Great Western Railway charging £10k for 63-mile journey ticket

malle-herbert
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Joke

Taunton ?

And I thought they smelled bad on the outside !

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Google's 'adblocker' is all about taking back control

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

Google blocking ads...

Great... but what about all the tracking that obviously will still be going on ?

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Trump's lips sealed on surveillance, complains EU privacy chief

malle-herbert
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"they have extremely professional people still in the administration"...

Too bad they're slowly being replaced by Trump's cronies...

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Ambient light sensors can steal data, says security researcher

malle-herbert
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Re: Light Show

Indeed... it's a highly unlikely scenario...

You could even hack an optical mouse to read a QR-code with it's light sensor if a user is dumb enough to hold it up to the screen when instructed to do so...

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Chap 'fixes' Microsoft's Windows 7 and 8 update block on new CPUs

malle-herbert
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Thumb Up

Good...

To see someone giving planned obsolescence a swift kick in the nuts !

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