* Posts by malle-herbert

1040 posts • joined 1 Jul 2013

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Bug? Feature? Power users baffled as BitLocker update switch-off continues

malle-herbert
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Sh*tLocker...

What good is full disk encryption if anyone (and the kitchen sink) can just simply turn it off ?

If Microsoft can do this through a 'security update' you can bet your a$$ every three-letter agency can do the same...

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That syncing feeling when you realise you may be telling Google more than you thought

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

"yo FYI you're currently logged in to Gmail"

More like : "yo FYI we're slurping your data wheter you want us to or not"...

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How an over-zealous yank took down the trading floor of a US bank

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

Unplugging the keyboard = kernel panic ?

My god... what were people thinking back then...

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Buried in the hype, one little detail: Amazon's Alexa-on-a-chip could steal smart home market

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

Great...

Spyware-on-a-chip....

Ready to be added to anything and everything that runs on electricity...

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Fallover Friday: NatWest, RBS and Ulster Bank go TITSUP*

malle-herbert
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FAIL

This happens so often...

You should make a macro for this article...

Just automatically fill in the date and their canned twitter response...

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Deliveroo to bike food to hungry fanbois queuing to buy iPhones

malle-herbert
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Joke

Idea for a new company :

Doodieroo...

We come round, wipe your a** and change your diaper so you can stand in line all day long without having to worry about your fecal needs !

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Congrats on keeping out the hackers. Now, you've taken care of rogue insiders, right? Hello?

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

Lemme guess...

We're gonna need some kind of AI to check up on people all the time and report them to the authorities ?

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Renegade 3D-printing gunsmith Cody Wilson on the run in Taipei from child sex allegations

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

Well... it IS weird that people wanted by the USA always seem to get charged with sexual assault...

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Oh Smeg! Hacked white goods maker resurfaces after system shutdown

malle-herbert
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Joke

Re : Do Smeg make toasters?

Ah... So you're a waffle man !

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US govt concedes that you can indeed f**k Nazis online: Domain-name swear ban lifted

malle-herbert
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Trollface

How long...

Before someone registers : www.fucktrump.us ?

Or : www.doestrumpfuck.us ?

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The Reg takes the US government's insider threat training course

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

"US government's insider threat training course"...

Sounds more like : "US government's propaganda machine"...

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Wow, great invention: Now AI eggheads teach machines how to be sarcastic using Reddit

malle-herbert
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Joke

So, where’s the best place to learn sarcasm?

Maybe they should take a look at ElReg's comments section...

Or my other favorite... Fark.com....

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First it was hashtags – now Amber Rudd gives us Brits knowledge on national ID cards

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

"people already hand over masses of info to private firms"...

Not all of us, you feckless moron !

Some of us actually care about our privacy...

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Python joins movement to dump 'offensive' master, slave terms

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Just call 'em "Slaster" and "Mave"...

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A boss pinching pennies may have cost his firm many, many pounds

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

Imagine...

A completely brand-spanking new school building...

New server room...

New servers...

New cabling...

New computers in every classroom...

No switches... because 'manglement' decided "we don't need those"...

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Microsoft tells volume customers they can stay on Windows 7... for a bit longer... for a fee

malle-herbert
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Linux

Microsoft is giving people some extra time...

To switch to Linux...

So yes, “none of them” IS an option...

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Smut slinger dreams of AI software to create hardcore flicks with your face – plus other machine-learning news

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

Re: Oh yes!

Don't forget AI making up tumors that aren't even there...

And no, uploading pictures of your tumor to FaceBook to see how many 'likes' you can get would be the last thing I'll ever want to do !

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Keep yer plastic, says analyst: eSIMs aren't all they're cracked up to be

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

I think you're the one who is missing the point entirely...

Apart from ease of hacking someone else's account,

There's also the problem of consumer lock-in that most phone providers would love to have !

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IBM slaps patent on coffee-delivering drones that can read your MIND

malle-herbert
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Joke

Judging from the pictures...

If a guy (400A) orders a coffee, leaves and then the drone finds someone else (400C) standing there at the exact same spot then this guy can tell the drone (200C) to f*ck off ?

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Using Microsoft's Hybrid MDM? Er, not for much longer

malle-herbert
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Joke

Re: You will obey!

Embrace ! Extend ! Exterminate !

Yeah... it's the Daleks allright...

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Baddies of the internet: It's all about dodgy mobile apps, they're so hot right now

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

Really ?

My bank tells me it's all perfectly safe !

And that I should use their mobile app to do all my banking !

They even offered me money if I start using their app !

(Not in a million years I won't...)

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Oh my Tosh, it's only a 100TB small form-factor SSD, SK?

malle-herbert
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Coat

Re: How many electrons per bit?

Depends on the voltage levels used...

Each electron has an electric charge of 1,6022 × 10−19 Coulomb...

So if you know the voltage difference between the different levels you could calculate the number of electrons per bit...

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Windows is coming to Chromebooks… with Google’s blessing

malle-herbert
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Joke

Re: "Cats and dogs living together...

Yup... Microsoft has no dick...

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Why is my cheapo Android red hot and switching off Wi-Fi?

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

To think...

That people put their entire private lives on these things...

And use them for banking...

I know I'll never trust ANY smartphone... ever...

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Former NSA top hacker names the filthy four of nation-state hacking

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

And yet...

People STILL try to connect more and more devices to the internet...

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Congresscritters want answers on Tillerson's rm -rf /opt/gov/infosec

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

We all know the US doesn't need cyber-security...

It's not as if they're being hacked by the russians or anything...

Oh wait...

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Encryption doesn't stop him or her or you... from working out what Thing 1 is up to

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

Re: So, if you care, don't use IoT.

Or Facebook or Google or Microsoft or a smartphone or anything coming out of silicon valley for that matter...

It's all about monetisation of people's private information these days...

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Basic bigot bait: Build big black broad bots – non-white, female 'droids get all the abuse

malle-herbert
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Terminator

And that's probably why...

You don't see that many black androids in movies...

They always almost immediately get shot by the police...

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2TB or not 2TB: Microsoft fiddles with OneDrive as competition offers twice the storage

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Re: 1Tb of storage ... what will I store?

1 Trillion files... each with a size of 1 byte... ;-)

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Adtech-for-sex biz tells blockchain consent app firm, 'hold my beer'

malle-herbert
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Joke

Time for a new browser plugin...

CockBlock pro !

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Developer’s code worked, but not in the right century

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

Re : Can someone explain to me...

Why this wasn't tested offline first before applying it to a LIVE database ?

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Dinosaurs permitted to mate: But what does AT&T Time merger mean for antitrust – and you?

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

"The US approach maximises consumer welfare"

No, it doesn't...

It maximises corporate welfare...

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AI built to track you through walls because, er, Parkinsons?

malle-herbert
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Joke

Yeah but...

Can it detect a stick figure holding a bobcat ?

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Hello, 'Apple' here, and this dodgy third-party code is A-OK with us

malle-herbert
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Joke

You're signing it wrong !

See title...

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Trump kept ZTE alive as ‘personal favour’ to Chinese president Xi

malle-herbert
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Trollface

"The US president claims he’s a negotiator"...

The US president seems to claim a lot of things...

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Apple hit with another faulty hardware lawsuit – this time it's the Watch

malle-herbert
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Trollface

So...

You're watching it wrong ?

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Fingered: Pants-down 'poo jogger' alleged to be corp exec

malle-herbert
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Joke

Shiat happens...

See title...

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In World Cup Russia, our Wi-Fi networks will log on to you!

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

Why would you even let Russia host the world cup ?

- Shooting down a plane full of innocent people...

- Annexing another sovereign country...

- Meddling in the democratic elections of other countries....

- Poisoning and killing people in foreign countries...

- Cheating on the Olympics...

Why-the-F*CK would you give a country like that the honor of hosting the world cup ?

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RoboCop-ter: Boffins build drone to pinpoint brutal thugs in crowds

malle-herbert
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Joke

Reminds me a bit of those drones in "They live"...

"Mamma don't like tattle-tails... BLAM !... "

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Microsoft commits: We're buying GitHub for $7.5 beeeeeeellion

malle-herbert
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Re: Shite

They will probably try to force everyone onto Windows 10 and Edge...

(No wonder coders are leaving like rats leaving a sinking ship...)

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Activists hate them! One weird trick Facebook uses to fool people into accepting GDPR terms

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

Being honest about data-collection isn't an option anymore is it ?

A LOT of American companies are resorting to sneaky tactics or they're simply blocking everyone from Europe...

F*ck 'em...

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Max Schrems is back: Facebook, Google hit with GDPR complaint

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

This will go nowhere in court...

Because nobody is forcing you to use these services...

If you don't agree to their terms and conditions then don't use them...

If you DO wan't to use them then part of the deal is that you have to agree to their terms...

This guy seems to want his cake and eat it too !

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You know that silly fear about Alexa recording everything and leaking it online? It just happened

malle-herbert
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Joke

I'm surprised...

No one posted this yet...

https://xkcd.com/1807/

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Doc 'Cluetrain' Searls' privacy engine project is just the ticket for IEEE

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Re: Who rates the raters?

And who rates the raters who rate the raters ?

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Within Arm's reach: Chip brains that'll make your 'smart' TV a bit smarter

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

How will it be used?

By advertisers, to squeeze every last drop of data from you...

By governments, to squeeze every last drop of privacy from you...

(see China)

The technology itself is fine... how it's going te be used is different matter...

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Slurp up patient data for algos that will detect cancer early, says UK PM

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

“legally inappropriate”

Funny how, when the government does something wrong, it's “legally inappropriate” while the same would be "illegal" for anyone else....

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TalkTalk ups the (dis)satisfaction ante as UK folk wake up to borked email

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

Re: ISP email

Yes, people who don't want their private email 'slurped' by the likes of Google and/or Microsoft still do...

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Facebook stuck with IRS bill after court tosses $7 BEEELLION appeal

malle-herbert
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Coat

Only two things are certain...

Death and taxes...

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Fitness band-it Garmin adds mobe bank Starling to bonk-to-pay fold

malle-herbert
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Trollface

"How "smart" does a "smartwatch" have to be?"

Smart enough to deactivate itself once it's been stolen...

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Every major OS maker misread Intel's docs. Now their kernels can be hijacked or crashed

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

So all of this is just a case of...

RTFM ?

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