* Posts by malle-herbert

818 posts • joined 1 Jul 2013

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UK Prime Minister calls on internet big beasts to 'auto-takedown' terror pages within 2 HOURS

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

"Mistakes will inevitably be made"...

Yeah... you're making a huge one right now...

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IBM packs 120TB into a carry-on bag, for snow-balling cloud uploads

malle-herbert
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Joke

The return...

Of 'sneakernet'...

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Mad scientist zaps himself to determine the power of electric eel shocks

malle-herbert
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Joke

Re: If an eel is a battery

You want your arm to behave like an eel

so you can zap people with it don't you ?

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DoJ: Look! Google is giving up overseas data for warrants outside Second Circuit

malle-herbert
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Coat

Yep... that's what happens when a country thinks it's laws apply wordlwide...

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Facebook let advertisers target 'Jew-haters'

malle-herbert
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Trollface

I'm curious...

Did those people get adverts for zyklon-b ?

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Check in my all-flash server-storage system? You must be mad! I'm taking it on-board

malle-herbert
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Joke

It's all fun and games...

Until a TSA agent opens up your suitcase and asks you for the password to decrypt your 460TB of storage...

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Giant frikkin' British laser turret to start zapping stuff next year

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

Next step :

The enemy will create ordnance with a shiny refelctive coating...

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Your boss asks you to run the 'cloud project': Ever-changing wish lists, packs of 'ideas'... and 1 deadline

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Do “more with less,” he was told...

After which Bob should have replied :

"F*ck you... then you can go do it without me..."

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When one size doesn't fit all in cloud security

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

Re: "You want to move from an on-premises Office suite to Office 365 in the cloud."

And let the American government have access to all of your documents and emails ?

No thanks... that's NOT what I would call secure...

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How alien civilizations deal with climate is a measure of how smart they are. Just sayin'...

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

I always find it amusing...

When people talk about "saving the planet"...

Our planet doesn't need saving... it i'll be just fine without us...

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Vid game's easiest level makes players white, hardest level makes them black

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Re : "I'm suprised they haven't got bombed yet."

Well... pissing people off is an artform !

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Dolphins inspire ultrasonic attacks that pwn smartphones, cars and digital assistants

malle-herbert
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Joke

Sonic smartphone ?

Don't give the writers for "Doctor Who" any ideas...

The glasses where bad enough...

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Twitter is just randomly deleting people's lists – and no one knows why

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Well... you get what you pay for...

And that's the entire problem.

More and more people relying on all of these so-called "free" services.

But that doesn't stop people from complaining obviously...

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Unable to give up on life on Mars, bio-boffins now thrilled to find boron

malle-herbert
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Joke

The chances of anything coming from Mars...

Are a million to one they said...

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Microsoft extends free Windows 10 S to Win 10 Pro upgrade offer

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

So...

People buy a surface...

Only to find out the OS has been deliberately neutered by Microsoft...

And are then expected to fork over another $49 to actually be able to use it properly ?

F*ck Microsoft...

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15 'could it be aliens?' fast radio bursts observed in one night

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Re: I'm not saying it's aliens....

I'm sorry but 15 isn't a prime number...

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Stephen King's scary movie reboot provokes tears from 'legit clowns'

malle-herbert
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Trollface

"the World Clown Association."

Is that a new name for the United States Congress ?

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Ex-Harrods IT worker pleads guilty to PC repair shop trip

malle-herbert
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Trollface

"to secure or enable unauthorised access to a program or data"

So we can sue Microsoft for what they did with Windows 10 ?

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Telcos waive bills during Houston hurricane recovery

malle-herbert
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Trollface

"will have some or all of their costs waived"...

Probably after adding a "'hurricane fee" to people's next monthly bill...

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Is it possible to control Amazon Alexa, Google Now using inaudible commands? Absolutely

malle-herbert
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Joke

Personally I would be more worried about :

Audible commands...

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Hash of the Titan: How Google bakes security all the way into silicon

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

Google is a USA-based company...

And therefore subject to american law...

Wich basically means you can't trust your data won't be slurped by any of the infamous three-letter agencies...

No matter how trustworthy their hardware is...

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So what's in the new Windows Insider build? Bug fixes, an AR goof-around, and a font

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

And when ?

Is Microsoft going to stop reverting everything to their default settings after each friggin' update ?

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Banking trojan-slingers slip past Google Play's malware defences

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

Why ?

Would ANYONE be stupid enough to do online-banking on a portable unsecured device with an unpatched OS without a virus-scanner or firewall ?

Most people are happy to login to their banking-website from their mobile phone while using an ancient version of Android or IOS and most banks don't seem to give a f*ck !

And when people actually DO lose money the banks are more than happy to point this out so they don't have to refund the money...

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Adware API sends smartmobe data home to Chinese company

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

"make sure it's not snoopware"

And here's me thinking that ALL adware is snoopware...

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Daily Stormer booted off internet again, this time by Namecheap

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Re:I do wish people would stop calling these people "Nazis".

Let's call them daleks instead... since they both seem to want to kill everyone who isn't exacly like them...

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malle-herbert
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Coat

Re: My Response to Namecheap on Booting Daily Stormer

My Response to Namecheap on Booting Daily Stormer

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LG schtum over whether Europeans can get the powerhouse phablet V30

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

A 32-bit DAC for audiophiles...

You mean : Idiots who actually believe that marketing bullsh*t...

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What weighs 800kg and runs Windows XP? How to buy an ATM for fun and profit

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Or...

You can make it run Doom ...

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Atari shoots sueball at KitKat maker over use of 'Breakout' in ad

malle-herbert
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Angel

Re: @AC re. "diodesign"...

I think it's this :

-►|-

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Russia's answer to Buckminster Fuller has a buttload of CGI and he's not afraid to use it

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Why do those pictures...

Somehow remind me of some kind of alien invasion ?

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UK govt steams ahead with £5m facial recog system amid furore over innocents' mugshots

malle-herbert
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Joke

So it's basically...

All your face belong to us !

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How are you feeling today? Don't tell us, save for it this handy emotion-detection code

malle-herbert
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Joke

So now a piece of software can tell me...

You don't look happy enough !

And continously play this song...

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Commentard Quizwall experiment ends with more quizzing than commenting

malle-herbert
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Holmes

Re: It would be funnier...

Judging from the number of downvotes I got barely 1 minute after posting

I tend to agree !

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malle-herbert
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Facepalm

It would be funnier...

If you guys actually put the correct answers in the quiz and tested your own audience...

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Nosey ex-NHS staffer slapped with fine for illegally peeking at medical records

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

"The law is clear and the consequences of breaking it can be severe.”

Except for large companies like Google...

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Amazon recalls dodgy solar eclipse shades that offer no eye protection

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Fake...

Were they by any chance Trump-branded glasses ?

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OpenAI bot bursts into the ring, humiliates top Dota 2 pro gamer in 'scary' one-on-one bout

malle-herbert
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Joke

And as usual there's a relevant XKCD for it :

Computers vs Humans

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South London: Rats! The rodents have killed the internet

malle-herbert
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Joke

There's an...

Optical mouse joke in there somewhere...

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Brit folk STILL not getting advertised broadband speeds – survey

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Re: "need to regularly test their broadband speed...

Looks like someone needs to write a piece of software that emulates this behaviour on a pc !

If it can fool ISP's to merely 'think' people are watching them, it might actually help improve their broadband connection...

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Berners-Lee and the open-data bunch: £60k for your best collab dataset register ideas

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

"it might end up failing to take into account everyone’s needs"...

Like people's right to privacy ?

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Jocks' USO block shock: BT's 10Mbps proposals risk 'rural monopoly'

malle-herbert
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Holmes

So...

A company willing to spend £600m in order to avoid regulation has ulterior motives ?

See icon...

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WannaCry kill-switch hero Marcus Hutchins collared by FBI on way home from DEF CON

malle-herbert
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Holmes

@ John Sager

Let me guess... you're white... not a muslim and you don't have a foreign sounding name ?

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Trump-backed RAISE Act decoded: Points-based immigration, green cards slashed

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Should have called it FLACCID...

Foreigners Leaving America and Coming to Canada InsteaD

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Sun's core in a real spin, but you wouldn't know just by looking at it

malle-herbert
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Joke

Well... at least it's not a ball of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff...

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malle-herbert
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Facepalm

It's a ball of gas... not a TARDIS...

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Microsoft Surface laptop: Is this your MacBook Air replacement?

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Re: Tips and corrections.

It's Microsoft... so "512Mb is enough for everybody"...

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UK.gov to trial vouchers for 'gigabit-capable' connectivity with SMEs

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

'gigabit-capable'...

Yeah right... probably with speeds 'up-to'...

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HP Inc reveals dockable, wearable VR workstation for the office

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Wouldn't it be cheaper...

To just strap a laptop on your back with some duct tape ?

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AI quickly cooks malware that AV software can't spot

malle-herbert
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Joke

So it's just like "The Matrix" then...

Programs hacking programs...

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Clear August 21 in your diary: It's a total solar eclipse for the smart

malle-herbert
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Trollface

You forgot about the flat-earth people...

Let's see them explain this one !

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