* Posts by malle-herbert

925 posts • joined 1 Jul 2013

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Fun fact: US Customs slaps eyeglass taxes on optical networking gear

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

Re: Call it high-throughput fiber

Just call it electromagnetic radiation instead of light...

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Intel's announced PCs packing 5G, and that's just plain wrong

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

"Microsoft's eSIM-Based Always Connected PCs May Unlock Untapped Segment Growth"

Translation : "Microsoft's eSIM-Based constantly spying PCs May Unlock Untapped data slurping"

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Nobody expects the social media inquisition! OK, everybody did, UK politicos

malle-herbert
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Joke

"a connection between sitting in front of a screen and raised blood pressure"...

They do realise that it doesn't just apply to smartphones do they ?

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Arm emits designs to add iSIM tech to Internet of Stuff

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

So instead of...

Just popping another SIM in your phone, you have to jump through several hoops to switch providers when your abroad ?

Not to mention all the privacy issues...

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Kentucky gov: Violent video games, not guns, to blame for Florida school massacre

malle-herbert
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Trollface

What a load of Trump...

"They have desensitized people to the value of human life, to the dignity of women, to the dignity of human decency."

So...just like your president then ?

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Apple Macs, iThings, smart watches choke on tiny Indian delicacy

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Wouldn't it be fun if someone posted this...

On Trump's Twitter feed ?

జ్ఞ‌ాజ్ఞ‌ాజ్ఞ‌ాజ్ఞ‌ాజ్ఞ‌ాజ్ఞ‌ాజ్ఞ‌ాజ్ఞ‌ాజ్ఞ‌ాజ్ఞ‌ాజ్ఞ‌ాజ్ఞ‌ాజ్ఞ‌ాజ్ఞ‌ాజ్ఞ‌ాజ్ఞ‌ాజ్ఞ‌ా

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Despite the headlines, Rudd's online terror takedown tool is only part of the solution

malle-herbert
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Joke

Re : Lets see how accurate it is then...

I dunno... Is your cat called meow-qaida ?

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Roses are red, are you single, we wonder? 'Cos this moth-brain AI can read your phone number

malle-herbert
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Joke

Roses are red, Violets are blue...

We're all gonna die, When the moth-brain A.I. kills you !

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NASA budget shock: Climate studies? GTFO. We're making the Moon great again, says Trump

malle-herbert
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Joke

Re: We don't need no education

Yes you do, You've just used a double negative !

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Wanna gobble Google's custom chips? Now you can – its Cloud TPUs at $6.50 an hour

malle-herbert
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Joke

Re: Deepfakes as a service

Don't you mean : Pee-pee tapes As A Service ?

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Military techie mangled minicomputer under nose of scary sergeant

malle-herbert
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Coat

Re: Shome mishtake surely?

We're talking about the military here !

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Secret weekend office bonk came within inch of killing sysadmin

malle-herbert
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FAIL

Near death experience ?

How about installing a bunch of servers in a building that's still (partly) under construction, walking out the fire-escape door for a quick smoke while waiting for the install to finish, only to find out the fire-escape ladder wasn't installed yet...

I almost dropped 18 feet down onto the concrete pavement below...

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Talk about a hot mic: Dodgy Pixel mobe audio lands Google in court

malle-herbert
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Joke

You're...

Talking to it wrong !

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Basket case lawsuit: Fancy fruit florists flail Google over rotten ads, demand $200m damages

malle-herbert
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Google AdWords...

Is basically an extortion racket...

Pay us... or we'll put someone else's link at the top and yours at the bottom...

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Cops find ATM spewing cash, car with dodgy plates, stack of $20 bills and hacking kit inside

malle-herbert
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Modern ATM's are just pc's with a cardreader and a few other bits of hardware attached...

Some of them even have hidden USB ports !

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NASA's zombie IMAGE satellite is powered up and working quite nicely

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Re: Ahh...the old 'drain the power...

Well... it IS a bit hard to get all the way up there to switch it off and on manually...

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Shopper f-bombed PC shop staff, so they mocked her with too-polite tech tutorial

malle-herbert
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Holmes

The worst customers...

Are always the ones starting with : "Do you know who I am ?"...

(And no, giving a funny answer to that question won't make the situation any better...)

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We won't need to go outside if these haptic tricksters have their way

malle-herbert
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Joke
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A high-energy neutrino, a powerful cosmic ray, and a gamma ray walk into a bar... Where you from, asks the bartender

malle-herbert
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Joke

A high-energy neutrino walks into a bar...

And the bar man said... nothing...

Because the neutrino didn't interact with him...

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malle-herbert
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Re: these neutrinos and rays carry huge amounts of energy,

Hope this helps to explain it :

The neutrino and its friends...

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Firms pushing devices at teachers that let kids draw... on a screen? You BETT

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

Want to prepare kids for their future ?

Tell them to pull their pants down and bend over for their corporate data-slurping overlords !

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'The capacitors exploded, showering the lab in flaming confetti'

malle-herbert
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Re: Improbable

Really ?

I've seen some of those 30 year old switch-mode power supply's that could put out more than 20 amps at 12 volts that DIDN'T have over-current protection built -in like those more modern versions !

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YouTube turns off cash tap for automatic video nasties

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

Re: I have a question!

Of course they put adverts on them !

And then pocket the money themselves...

All this is just a way to increase their own revenue...

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Causes of software development woes

malle-herbert
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And that's why...

You should always have these things in writing and signed off by someone at the highest level...

So that, if someone comes whining about wanting some feature changed or added, you can simply tell them that it's going to cost them extra...

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'Mummy, what's felching?' Tot gets smut served by Android app

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

And still...

People put their entire private lives on these 'smartphones'...

Banks offer people money to install and use their 'app' on their phones...

Any idiot trusting a portable computer that's constantly connected to the internet, is easlily hackable and has no antivirus or firewall protection deserves everything they get...

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Sky customer dinged for livestreaming pay-per-view boxing to Facebook

malle-herbert
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Joke

Re: THAT Price for one View?

It's like a punch in the face...

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Memo man Damore is back – with lawyers: Now Google sued for 'punishing' white men

malle-herbert
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Holmes

Re: What does SJWing even mean?

Social Justice Warrior...

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India denies breach of its billion-strong 'Aadhaar' ID system

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

As always...

Blame the messenger...

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Smartphones' security enhancements just make them more dangerous

malle-herbert
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Big Brother

Re: Too late...

You forgot several governments...

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Least realistic New Year’s resolution ever: Fix Facebook in 365 days

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

Facebook is a reflection of society...

If you really want to fix Facebook... you first need to fix society...

Good luck with that Mark...

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Autsch! Germany slaps Facebook in its abusive little face for 'limitlessly amassing data'

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Re: a summary of all possible ways to stop information being collected...

Don't let it connect to the Internet... ever...

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Dump ur mobile provider via txt by 2019: LMFAO cu l8r

malle-herbert
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Thumb Up

Great !

Now can we do the same for insurence companies ?

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Shady US sigint base upgrade marred by stolen photograph

malle-herbert
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Joke

NAzi - Person who hates jews and bad grammar.

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Disk drive fired 'Frisbees of death' across data centre after storage admin crossed his wires

malle-herbert
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Re: Servicing a VCR was like playing with a Hellraiser puzzle box

I know... I once had to pull a banana out of one... And a peanut butter sandwich out of another...

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Meet the woman with a supernatural affinity for stiff lovers

malle-herbert
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Joke

Who you gonna call ?

Ghostboinkers !

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No, BMW, petrol-engined cars don't 'give back to the environment'

malle-herbert
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i3 ?

How long before they're getting sued by Intel ?

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Quentin Tarantino in talks to make Star Trek movie

malle-herbert
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Joke

Did you see a sign in my front yard...

Saying dead Klingon storage ?

No ?

You know why ?

Because storing dead Klingon's ain't my f*cking bussiness !

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Prison hacker who tried to free friend now likely to join him inside

malle-herbert
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Ex-cop who 'kept private copies of data' fingers Cabinet Office minister in pr0nz at work claims

malle-herbert
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Joke

Re: What if you have a cat?

You can't have a pussy looking at you while you're looking at...

Ah... nevermind...

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malle-herbert
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Holmes

Re: Pst. How can you tell when a politician is lying?

He's opening his mouth ?

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Russia threatens to set up its 'own internet' with China, India and pals – let's take a closer look

malle-herbert
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Joke

Russia threatens to set up its 'own internet'...

With blackjack and hookers no doubt...

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Foil snack food bags make a decent Faraday cage, judge finds

malle-herbert
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Joke

Colella is now an Uber driver...

Good luck putting a foil bag over the car !

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The six simple questions Facebook refused to answer about its creepy suicide-detection AI

malle-herbert
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Joke

Re: I wonder how many false positives they're getting...

Wow... you're a real credit to your name aren't you Bob ?

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malle-herbert
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Trollface

I wonder how many false positives they're getting...

From all those disappointed Trump-voters...

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Canadian court gives limited OK to warrantless Stingrays

malle-herbert
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Trollface

Re: Stingray

All hail Steve Irwin...

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IBM figures out it takes longer than a week to re-wire software

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

Re-wire ?

Never knew software had wires... re-write maybe ?

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Boffins craft perfect 'head generator' to beat facial recognition

malle-herbert
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Joke

Well...

Getting perfect 'head' is always better than 'beating it' yourself...

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ML fails: Loyalty prediction? Not really. And bonus prediction? Oh dear

malle-herbert
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Coat

NPS...

Should have called it NBS... No Bonus Suckers !

Because in the end it's just a tool for the tools in charge to be able to deny bonusses for their employees while their bosses's bonusses are probably tied to different metrics...

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Thou shalt use our drone app, UK.gov to tell quadcopter pilots

malle-herbert
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Facepalm

So...

They assume every drone is controlled by a smartphone now ?

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Military test centre for frikkin' laser cannon opens in Hampshire

malle-herbert
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Joke

Re: no sharks?

I actually WAS wondering if the facility had a pool...

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