* Posts by JeffyPoooh

4136 posts • joined 28 Jun 2013

Dear humans, We thought it was time we looked through YOUR source code. We found a mystery ancestor. Signed, the computers

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Re: Projection much?

Alan Brown, "...overwhelmed..."

With each generation, about one-quarter of your genetic code is lost forever. It's caused by the Maternal (or Paternal) Lineage Extinction Ratio MLER or PLER being about 25% per generation. This is the same 'force' that causes speciation (making species).

End result, if your bring two populations together, they'll merge and one will be overwhelmed by the other.

Same thing explains the Out of Africa observation of population 'necking'. No need for near-extinction events, the observed DNA 'necking' will be a moving attribute.

Man drives 6,000 miles to prove Uncle Sam's cellphone coverage maps are wrong – and, boy, did he manage it

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Clearly they're overlooking something...

Prius? Puh...

The official FCC coverage maps are clearly based on the perfectly reasonable assumption that the subscriber is in a helicopter, hovering at a height of 1000 feet above ground level.

Signals are much better up there...

Happy Thursday! 770 MEEELLLION email addresses and passwords found in yuge data breach

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Re: Interesting, but. . .

Permidon suggested, "changing your password 'just in case'..."

The password 'just in case' has been pwned. Not kidding.

Oh, I misread your suggestion. LOL

Iran satellite fails: ICBM test drive or microsat test? Opinion is divided...

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Joe: ULA's Delta, Atlas, And Vulcan Rockets

"Iranian space launch vehicles (SLVs) incorporate technology that is virtually identical to that used in ballistic missiles, including in intercontinental ballistic-missiles (ICBMs).”

'Answers With Joe' (YouTube) *just* [Published on Jan 14, 2019] did a video on the commonality of missiles and rockets. Not limited to any particular country.

Reportedly, the Saturn V was the very first rocket specifically designed for peaceful purposes (as opposed to being a converted misssile).

Video Title = "ULA's Delta, Atlas, And Vulcan Rockets - The Past And Future Of Space Travel"


IBM to kill off Watson... Workspace from end of February

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

"...AI tool Watson Workspace..."

"IBM to kill off....AI tool..."

The AI should have seen this coming...

Cops told: No, you can't have a warrant to force a big bunch of people to unlock their phones by fingerprint, face scans

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

3D mugshots and 3D printers

The police are allowed to take pictures of those arrested; so they could quite easily take 3D (stereoscopic) images.

Then, load the file into their coming-soon 3D Colour printer and print out the phone owner's face in 3D. Use that to unlock the phone.

Any unlock requirement for live eyeballs might need a bit more thought. Perhaps high resolution LCD screens inserted into the mask.

No plain sailing for Anon hacktivist picked up by Disney cruise ship: 10 years in the cooler for hospital DDoS caper

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

LL boasted about twice not needing a lawyer to "...attend small claims court on my behalf..."

Reportedly, in some jurisdictions, lawyers are explicitly discouraged from attending Small Claims courts. The purpose and intent of the entire Small Claims concept is to minimise costs.

It's easy to win if the facts are on your side.

Germany has a problem with the entire point of Amazon's daft Dash buttons – and bans them

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Re: A 'proper' use for the buttons

Dr Sin Tax, "...push Prime in my face. I don't want it."

But but but... How do you watch the 'Grand Tour' ?

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Amazon could add a wee screen...

Having seen the teardown videos for these gadgets, adding a little 0.96-inch OLED screen to the next version is certainly within the range of possibilities.

SpaceX sends Iridium-8 into space while Musk flaunts his retro rocket

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Employee Reviews: -10 to +10

P2, "...'dead wood'... [versus] ...work done by the incompetent?"

Emplyees shoudl be ranked on a scale that runs from -10 (actively does harm), through 0 (harmless dead wood, does nothing, not at work), to +10 (does much good, perfectly).

Dead wood rank a zero on my scale. Almost a passing grade.

The incompentent doing things wrong rank minus on my scale.

It's a more useful scale than 0-10. The added negative range (-10 to 0) helps to clarify thoughts.

If you replace somebody that never even shows up (in rehab, again, thus "0") with somebody that shows up and does significant harm (errors, mistakes, disasters, thus -10), then you've gone backwards.

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

It looks like it was built outdoors by a water tank assembly crew...

"...the final version would lack the, er, ribbed appearance of the VTOL test version..."


xHamster reports spike in UK users getting their five-knuckle shuffle on before pr0n age checks

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Re: I don't think that's how it goes, though

TStT: "I can't find condoms anywhere. / Have you tried Boots? / Yes, but it all runs out of the lace holes."

I arrived here with the following extract in my copy-and-paste buffer.

El Reg wrote, "UK-based smut viewers seem to be filling their boots..."


CES flicks the off switch on massager award… and causes a buzz

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Quoting BBC and others...

On this very topic:

"So you put it in for an award..."

"It fills a space..."

"The device was withdrawn..."

"The product does not fit..."

"Ose [<- the device] clearly fits..."

"...women....should be....claiming our space..."

El Reg, "[N] thumbs up" Careful now...

Gyro failure fingered for sending Earth-gazing Digital Globe sat TITSUP (That's a total inability to snap usual pics)

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Magnetic torque thingies...

Some LEO satellites have used magnetic coils to torque the satellite against the Earth's magnetic field.

Others have booms with weights extending down to make use of the differential gravity to keep the satellite pointed in the right direction (i.e. down); but no control as such. That wouldn't be ideal for a satellite with cameras (boom protruding into the camera's field of view), so perhaps they could use a helium balloon on the other side. ;-)

Chinese rover pootles about... on the far side of the friggin' MOON

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

The other thing worth celbrating...

The far side of the Moon has been far-too-often been incorrectly referred to as the "dark side" of the Moon. Idiots.

With this landing, most reporters have recently been very careful to refer to it as the "far side".

It's suddenly (and thankfully) gone from worse than 50% "dark side" nonsense to nearly 95% "far side" correct.

That alone makes this a highly successful mission.

Thank you.

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Why is the far side of the Moon so red?

The near side has always been shades of grey; and the Apollo 17 crew got all excited when they found any traces of colour at all.

Now the Chinese have landed on the far side, and all the images are distinctly shaded red.

Insert Red = Communism jokes here...

This is the final straw, evil Microsoft. Making private GitHub repos free? You've gone too far

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Free Unlimited On-Line File Storage ?

I'll rename my wife's dozens and dozens of TB of snapshots from JPG to BIN (or whatever, as required) and upload them all.

Florida man stumbles on biggest prime number after working plucky i5 CPU for 12 days straight

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

There is a much more efficient algorithm to find primes (and factor very large composite numbers)...

I have a truly marvelous demonstration of this proposition which this comment box is too narrow to contain.

FCC tosses aside rules, treats Google to a happy ending following request for handy tech

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

We rarely see such precisely-accurate lowercase and uppercase...

El Reg wrote, "...+10 dBm, rather than -10 dBm (Section 15.255(c)(3)), peak....+13 dBm, rather than +10 dBm, and +13 dBm/MHz power spectral density. ...WiGig devices and Soli sensors....57-64 GHz band. A Netgear Nighthawk X10 R9000 802.11ad access point, ..."

Perfection in case. Even the minus isn't a hyphen, and the pluses are recognized as usefully-informative. A joy to behold.

Appears to be transcribed from God, like Mozart's music.

Thank you.

EU politely asks if China could stop snaffling IP as precondition for doing business

JeffyPoooh Silver badge


So Apple stops using Foxcon. Now somebody has to actually buy an iPhone and take it back to Shenzhen for examination and disassembling.

Delta: One month.

Same with electric cars.

There are very few counterexample where the critical IP can be secured within an IC that cannot be penetrated or bypassed.

Could you speak up a bit? I didn't catch your password

JeffyPoooh Silver badge


Arrange for North Korea to extend automatic Nork citizenship to all elected Aussie politicians. A one-page memo on Nork letterhead is all that's required.

Thus, immediately upon election, any and all Aussie politicians are disqualified from holding office, because of their ingenious anti-dual citizenship law. They'll have to resign. All of them.

(The Norks can be motivated by offering revocation ceremonies in Pyongyang at US$1M per new Nork-Aussie citizen.)

By this means, it would clearly show that Aussie lawmakers aren't very bright... Even they'd have to admit it, as they're dangling from their own petard.

You're welcome.

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Re: Loopy passengers

"...drooling vegetables."

Old joke:

What did you get on your IQ test?


JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Maybe it's Face Detection

Perhaps some confusion... The Android coders mistakenly provided Face Detection. At least it will keep deciduous trees from snooping through your phone.

An upset tummy and a sphincter-loosening blackout: Lunar spaceflight is all glamour

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Re: That Genesis reading

K.O. "...I'm an atheist. a physicist and engineer. I think the combination of those majestic words and the majestic setting was a high point in human history, no matter what you believe."

Ditto. Precisely.

Astroboffins spy a rare exoplanet evaporating before their eyes

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Re: Missed Opportunity

Also missed, the "IT'S SHRINKING!!! IT'S SHRINKING!!!" meme (from the movie '2010 Odyssey').


JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Re: reason for grams is Kilogram turned out of by non-standard

Kids these days probably think that there's 1024 grams per kilogram.

Home users due for a battering with Microsoft 365 subscription stick

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

What next?

Renting tooth-brushes and combs? Perhaps shoe laces?

Boffins build blazing battery bonfire

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

"...costs will need to be about $50 per kWh..."

Assuming such systems could be used at least 1000 times, you'd think that $0.05 per kilowatt-hour (each use) would be about an order of magnitude more generous than required.

If 10,000 usages lifetime, even more so...

So his numbers don't seem reasonable.

Whatchu got for us this week, Microsoft? Skype, Powerpoint tweaks and – oh – another foldable

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

"...yet another foldable device..."

I generally put my slab phones into 'leather' cases with folding covers. The cover protects the screen (without the condom-like qualities of screen protectors).

Folding gadgets would offer such screen protection as an inherent advantage.

Galileo's magnifico measurement: 1976 redshift test updated

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

"...ESA's GREAT experiment..."

"...Thus was born the ESA's GREAT experiment..."

A guy with three kids and a van did something very similar in 2005. Same "GREAT" name, same basic concept. With a van. And three kids. In 2005.

Ref: http://leapsecond.com/great2005/

Project GREAT: General Relativity Einstein/Essen Anniversary Test

Clocks, Kids, and General Relativity on Mt Rainier

"In September 2005 the kids and I took several very accurate cesium atomic clocks from home and parked 5400 feet up Mt Rainier (the volcano near Seattle) for a full two days. The goal was to see if the clocks actually gained time, even if billionths of a second, as predicted by Einstein's general theory of relativity. Does gravity really alter time and can this weird phenomenon be detected with a family road trip experiment? ..."

Tesla autopilot saves driver after he fell asleep at wheel on the freeway

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

"...detect if police are trying to pull you over."

Well past time to subject such "self-driving" system to a basic Driving Test.

Giraffe hacks printers worldwide to promote God-awful YouTuber. Did we read that one right?

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Re: Get me a babysitter

IB typed "recieved".

Which is incorrect.

Holy moley! The amp, kelvin and kilogram will never be the same again

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

"Kibble balances....only exist in around five special laboratories around the world."

Where the local gravity will be measured and monitored to exquisite precision.

In news that will shock absolutely no one, America's cellphone networks throttle vids, strangle rival Skype

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Go home, use fiber...

It's a bit of a lifestyle issue. Watching HD videos is something that I'll do at home, relaxing with my 3rd glass of wine, over wifi connected by fiber. It's rare that I'd need or want to watch video over a cell phone connection.

(Acknowledge in advance others are not the same as me.)

My hoard of obsolete hardware might be useful… one day

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

My old hardware is kept alive and on-line

iPhone 3GS - charged and connected to wifi for old times sake

iPhone 4S - ditto (still used for Find My iPhone checks of missing family members)

Original iPad - ditto

Blackberry Playbook - ditto (still beeps for email)

MS Surface 2 (RT OS) - ditto (still very useful)

Windows Phone - ditto(lights up for FB Messages)

Several Sony PSPs - ditto

It goes on and on, dozens of them.

If my early-1980s Tandy Radio Shack Color Computers had wifi, they'd be online as well.

Uncle Sam, D-Link told to battle in court over claims of shoddy device security: Judge snubs summary judgment bids

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

"...a host of alleged bad practices..."

I've benefited from their bad practice of using shoddy C12 capacitors in their DGS-1024 24-port gigabit switches. Buy for next to nothing, replace capacitor, cheap switch. Thank you D-link.

On the other hand, I'm not sure that a household having four spares is entirely justifiable.

Wow. Apple's only gone and killed off Mac, iPad, iPhone family... figures for units sold to fans

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

I would've bought an iPhone

But after fighting with the DRM charger cables ($40 for one work-around), the missing headphone socket was a step too far.

Switched to Android, which turned out to be trivially easy.

A colleague mentioned that the latest iPad has a USB C charging port and a headphone socket. Thus, there's a remote possibility that I might even buy one someday.

Americans' broadband access is so screwed up that the answer may lie in tiny space satellites

JeffyPoooh Silver badge


John Geek asked, "What does the FCC have to do with GPS *recievers* ? if a reciever wants..."

The FCC has very clear rules on the correct spelling of the word "receivers".

Hint: the "ei" in the middle are in alphabetical order.

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Installing fiber optic...

Circa 2012-2014, our telco started rolling out fiber optic lines all over the place. Including many areas that are suburban sprawl or even rural.

The speed of installing fiber onto existing telephone poles was way faster than one might naturally assume. Blink and they're gone, disappeared around the corner.

The installation of the last 100m from the street to the house took maybe an hour, only because it had to be strung between 200 trees.

Based on what I've seen, the last mile issue would be worse in the crowded downtown with underground utilities.

That's not normally a rural issue.

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

"...modest-sized devices....talk to one another..."

El Reg, "Thanks to the latest technology, it is now possible to launch modest-sized devices into space, and have them talk to one another."

The satellites in the original Iridium constellation (circa 2000 ±) are both modest-sized (as evidenced by them being launched in batches of 5 or 7) and they talk to one another (famously "network in the sky"). Same for the newer Idirium NEXT constellation, already mostly launched. So the claim that these two characteristics are the "latest technology" or "is now possible" is clearly incorrect.

I sometimes wonder if patent expiry is part of the delay process, but that only gets us to about ten years ago.

Got a new Surface? Have some firmware. Old Surface? La la la la la, we can't hear you

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Maximum punishment

Maximum punishment (e.g. anguish) is focused on the most loyal early-adopter fan-boys who queue up to pay the highest possible price for the least mature designs.

In other words, the Universe is unfolding precisely as it should.

Hubble 'scope gyro drama: Hey, NASA, have you tried turning it off and on again? Oh, you did. And it worked? Cool

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

I sure wish that they'd finish up that 'EM Thruster' gadget...

Then they wouldn't need to use gyros on spacecraft. They could just lace the spacecraft with dozens of little EM Thrusters to have it point any which way you want, all solar powered and infinite lifespan.

Come on kids, hurry up already.


Tech hub blames tech: San Francisco fingers Uber, Lyft rides for its growing traffic headache

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Re: Humans are stupid...


In certain circumstaces, far more common than is widely assumed, an Aerial Tramway (Cable Car) system can outperform buses by a huge ratio. Less labour. Quicker. More attractive.

Smoke belching, engine blasting, road blocking, environmentally ruinous heavy diesel buses with their 140dB noisy squealing brakes are what you get when nobody thinks beyond the end of their nose. Pedestrial only streets are pleasant mostly because the horrifically obnoxious buses are kept out.

Aerial Tramways are the secret solution that's being widely ignored.

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Humans are stupid...

Allow me to explain...

Transportation services such as Uber, Lyft, or taxi cabs, when used to transport single passengers, naturally and inherently increase road congestion.

That claim will mystify the thick.

It's because they need to drive from somewhere else to get to your location to pick you up. Their paid mileage is only about 50% of their total mileage. They're driving roughly twice the distance as would be driven by personal vehicles.

It's perfectly expected that congestion would increase by a ratio not much different than two if everyone used Uber instead of their own vehicle. Your own vehicle is quietly parked in your driveway, and the distance efficiency is pretty close to 100%. Your car doesn't wander off empty searching for its next paying fare.

Humans are stupid because hardly anyone could figure out this rather obvious factor in advance. Uber riders don't see the extra mileage, so they don't think about it. And Uber certainly isn't going to go around highlighting the roughly double mileage ratio.

Yes, yes, yes... There are other pros and cons. Parking is a good benefit. But stopping locations out front would be required. Anyway, the subject here is road congestion.

The fact is that the reasonable first approximation is that congestion would be increased in the direction of two with an increase in Uber, Lyft, and taxi cabs.

In some areas, directionality may reduce the doubling effect. But within the downtown core, this counter balancing secondary consideration would not have any significant effect.

Same rough doubling happens to fuel usage, CO2, etc.

Now that your brain has hoisted aboard this obvious factor, you'll be forced to see the truth in the post title.

Cue the Uber paid social media squad idiotic rebuttals.

Powerful forces, bodily fluids – it's all in a day's work

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Re: Monitor

Far too many people cannot comprehend the possibility that the root cause of an issue might be physically located more than about 10cm from the visible symptom.

When Jeremy Clarkson's Ford GT wouldn't start, he and James May actually removed and disassembled the Start button. A clear example of this 'Proximity Focus'.

The hero of our IT story here didn't even think of checking the PC next? Oh, because it's a couple of feet away from the problem. Third monitor was dumb. (But can't blame him for the magnets...)

Farewell, Android Pay. We hardly tapped you

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

A modular solution...

Put your phone into a nice case. Slip your bonk-compatible debit card in-between the phone and its case. Now your phone seems to allow bonk payments, like magic. When things are updated, remove your phone form the case, replace the bank card with the new one, and reinsert the phone back into its case. Resume your apparently "phone based" bonk payments.

You're welcome.

Does Google make hardware just so nobody buys it?

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Having experienced the Nexus promise...

Being a Google tablet, it's assured that it'll be first in line for updates to the OS forever^h^h^h^h ...about three years, just like all the others.

Super Micro China super spy chip super scandal: US Homeland Security, UK spies back Amazon, Apple denials

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Re: Update: The Bloomberg story is changing

"...the mod is in the Ethernet jack itself."

8P8C (a.k.a. "RJ45") have 8 pins. All are signal, none are power or ground.

If the "mod" could be built into an Ethernet socket, then it could be built into an Ethernet plug almost as easily.

Or an Ethernet cable.

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Has anyone considered...?

Maybe, just maybe, there are two versions of the board in question.

I know it's difficult to imagine, but it might just be within the reach of human technology that the spies would have spun off a Rev NC_Spy version.

The Rev NC_Non_Spy version might be more common. Thus explaining the many null results.

Decoding the Chinese Super Micro super spy-chip super-scandal: What do we know – and who is telling the truth?

JeffyPoooh Silver badge

Re: Deja vu

There's also the old 'Reprogram The Embedded ARM Chips' ploy.

Also applies to any programmable logic arrays.

It's precisely hopeless. Best to resort to an Art of War approach, with honeypot data, fake data, and so on.

So who is the downvoter? Seems a bit silly...

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