* Posts by Chozo

269 posts • joined 17 Jun 2013

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Unbreakable smart lock devastated to discover screwdrivers exist

Chozo
Facepalm

Re: Oh my!

If you liked that you'll love this.

How to defeat high security locks with a paperclip and other fun tricks.

DEFCON 19 Insecurity: An Analysis Of Current Commercial And Government Security Lock Designs

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Shatner's solar-powered Bitcoin gambit wouldn't power a deflector shield

Chozo
Coffee/keyboard

You've waited years to use that line haven't you?

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User spent 20 minutes trying to move mouse cursor, without success

Chozo
Joke

Re: how to clean mousewheels?

Tell the kids to clean the cage or else...

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... Aaaand that's a fifth Brit Army Watchkeeper drone to crash in Wales

Chozo

Re: or just flatten Wales?

Should change the name from Watchkeeper to Wyvern, then the dragons will leave them alone.

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Brit drone biz Sensat notches up 29km remote-control flight

Chozo

Re: only 29km?

Wasn't there somebody at DEFCON a few years back doing citywide wifi sniffing with a model aircraft controlled over the 3G phone network...

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Computer Misuse Act charge against British judge thrown out

Chozo
Pint

I for one..

I for one feel sorry for the mods the lack of harsh comments and sly wit means they must be working hard to keep this thread civilised. In this mean time have a beer on me and don't worry, legal will stop fretting soon enough.

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Done and dusted? Vast storm gobbles NASA's long-lived Mars robot

Chozo
Go

Bring It Home

I for one believe the little rover should be brought home to a 'ticker tape' parade and a cosy sandpit at the Smithsonian.

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Yahoo! Kills! The! Messenger!

Chozo
Unhappy

Re: sketchy chat rooms

Sadly they are no more and I miss the Wretched Hive of Scum & Villainy.

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Tor-forker Joshua Yabut cuffed for armoured personnel carrier joyride

Chozo
Black Helicopters

Tou know somethings hinky when El Reg has more information than the BBC article.

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1

'Vigilance' hacker charged over Minnesota government attacks

Chozo
Devil

Whatever happened to...

What ever happened to cool hacker names?

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You blithering Ajit! Huawei burns Pai for FCC sh*tlist proposal

Chozo
Devil

Re: *Evil thought for the day*

Just keep peeling the stickers off while I put them into boxes that say Made In Mexico

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Capture your late-night handbrake turns with this 'autonomous' car-chasing camera drone

Chozo

THe Chase Is On :)

The possibilities for both law enforcement and miscreants involved in a pursuit is terrifyingly fascinating. Drivers being able to see around the next blind bend or gauge traffic flow and successfully shoot the gap at a junction will make for some Hollywood worthy car chases.

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International Maritime Organisation turns salty gaze on regulating robotic shipping

Chozo
Devil

Kill The Gibson

The IMO is responsible for monitoring ballast water discharge quality. Now with several nations dragging their anchors over the issue and some of those claiming to be compliant having poor record keeping then mandating tamper-proof remote sensing could be on the horizon. Perhaps even remote control of the ships entire ballast system...

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Tufts boffins track device location without GPS or towers

Chozo
Devil

Re: "Can I go now ?"

Sure, right after we scan the chip embedded in your cranium at birth by our alien overlords.

5
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Welcome to your sci-fi dystopia: Sonic firewalls to crumble inaudible ad-tracking phone cookies

Chozo

Dystopia?

What next, phones & TV's without an Off switch? .... oh wait

14
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EmDrive? More like BS drive: Physics-defying space engine flunks out

Chozo
Devil

Re: So what do we know for sure?

Anybody caught putting cheese into the particle accelerator beam will be fired

Never use the words 'Anti-Gravity' in a scientific paper

Any research project, no matter how weird will get funding from somewhere

3
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ISP TalkTalk's Wi-Fi passwords Walk Walk thanks to Awks Awks router security hole

Chozo

Popped a TT router back in 2016 for educational purposes, hardest part was getting physically close enough to pick up a decent signal without being noticed.

9
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Presto chango, crypto buyo: You're travelling like El Reg's gang of nerds

Chozo
Coat

UK locations that are covered in scientific or engineering glory

Having a nostalgic moment...

I wonder if the (jet) engine test cell on the back of Staverton Airport still has the ejector seat in the control room.

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'Facebook takes data from my phone – but I don't have an account!'

Chozo
Flame

Re: Once again, it's NOT YOUR PHONE

Some would call it aggressive market research,

I call it for what it is, unwarranted surveillance.

8
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Hitler 'is dead' declares French prof who gazed at dictator's nashers

Chozo
Alien

Re: Conspiracy Theories?

Obviously somebody has 'persuaded' the prof to keep quiet about what he actually found.

3
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Blood spilled from another US high school shooting has yet to dry – and video games are already being blamed

Chozo

Re: So WTF is wrong with the US school system?

Every education system has its issues however in this context it's more basic with schools being one of the three classical soft targets where you are unlikely to encounter any immediate armed resistance.

2
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America's forgotten space station and a mission tinged with urine, we salute you

Chozo

Further reading

A house in space by Henry S. F Cooper I highly recommend for anybody interested in day to day practical side and problems of living aboard Skylab. The grit beneath the public relations gloss featuring such classic quotes as...

Why did I choose corned beef hash every day for breakfast?

Whoever designed this toilet has clearly never taken a dump in their life!

Don't tell mission control...

Skylabs unique floor system also gets several mentions with hilarious descriptions of the cleat quick step. (The official technical report was said to contain so many swear words it was redacted to just read: use velcro next time)

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Wah, encryption makes policing hard, cries UK's National Crime Agency

Chozo

the dignity of private conversation

Well said Me Old China, now do you still want that Monkey on the Airs & Graces this Avvy ?

0
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MPs petition for legally binding target of 95% 4G coverage across UK

Chozo
Big Brother

Persons in the remaining 5% either way will be placed on a watchlist and subjected to enhanced marketing techniques.

1
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NASA will send tiny helicopter to Mars

Chozo
Coat

Re: DRAMATIC MUSIC!!!

Airwolf had the better theme tune

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Chozo
Alien

appeal of a ‘copter is obvious

NASA suspects the natives are hiding behind rocks waiting for lumbering the rover to pass.

16
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You've got pr0n: Yes, smut by email is latest workaround for UK's looming cock block

Chozo
Gimp

Web-dwellers who don't use Tor...

Web-dwellers who don't use Tor...soon will. There in lies the eye opening rub of the matter, can the TOR network cope with the influx? A quick check at time of writing reveals only 877 exit nodes and perhaps more worrying, lets be honest here TOR is not a place I would suggest anybody should go looking for pr0n.

4
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Shining lasers at planes in the UK could now get you up to 5 years in jail

Chozo
Big Brother

Re: Intent is always important

Kudos for reading the manual :)

Question:

is the legislation specific to lasers & aircraft OR any camera being nobbled with a suitably bright light source? Speed traps, inner city surveillance, police body cams etc can be overly sensitive to Infra Red leds

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UK age-checking smut overlord won't be able to handle the pressure – critics

Chozo
Devil

Guest Quote

all of the Ice-Age movies have horny beavers. [Dylan aged 6]

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MacBook Pro petition begs Apple for total recall of krap keyboards

Chozo
Trollface

Watching in amusement

<upends keyboard and shakes popcorn out>

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Pentagon in uproar: 'China's lasers' make US pilots shake in Djibouti

Chozo

Re: Not really - I'm thinking you have to be pretty accurate

Except that cheap laser pointers suffer from Beam Divergence caused by a combination poor diode construction & optics. With a typical Chinisium device having a 3 mrad rating getting 3 feet wider for every 1000 feet and still being bright enough to distract pilots. Then there's the fun world of Disco gear and Rescue lasers with spinning mirror assemblies that sweep the beam rapidly over a large area.

10
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NASA lunar rover trundles to a meeting with Doctor Hacksaw and Mister Axe

Chozo
Alien

More prospectors. More commercial partners.

Somebody has been watching Moon Zero Two

4
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Grab your lamp, you've pulled: Brits punt life-saving gravity-powered light

Chozo

Re: This was your idea.

<cough>

Journey to the Center of the Earth (1959 film) the explorers are shown using clockwork powered flashlights

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Doom and Super Mario could be a lot tougher now AI is building levels

Chozo
Devil

Challenge Accepted

Bring it on my silicon friend, gonna whoop your ass so bad you'll wish you were still a Tamagotchi!

5
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Legal tech startup tries to haul 123-Reg to court over 24-hour backup claims

Chozo
Devil

Legal Weasling 101

John Belushi explains the force majeure clause to princess Leia

https://youtu.be/JFvujknrBuE

1
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Failbreak: Bloke gets seven years in the clink for trying to hack his friend out of jail

Chozo

Re: they look at ALL the paperwork

Having no knowledge about the inner workings of prison admin, intriguing questions abound...

Does a clerk at the prison physically check the original court documents signed in ink by the judge OR do they just log into a web portal and get given lists of prisoners arriving & departing?

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Chozo
Coat

Re: I shouldn't be thanking this guy

Part of me wants to congratulate the blue team however the ugly truth of it is they got lucky. Had Voits been operating from van parked across the street instead of openly in the coffee shop and the subsequent rooftop farce he could very well of pulled it off.

I'm off to write a script that makes a command shell look like a chat room

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Mannequin Skywalker takes high ground on Bezos-backed rocket

Chozo
Coat

Mind Boggles

North Korea tinkers with a some old Soviet missiles, world collectively craps itself.

Eccentric businessman with more money than a Bond villain builds a missile, nobody worries?

10
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ICANN takes Whois begging bowl to Europe, comes back empty

Chozo

Ever since an incident with the magicians rabbit having rabies I have been wary of people pulling things out the hat at the last minute. I try to live in hope that somebody will come up with a truly inspired solution ushering in a golden age of the Internet but the nagging doubt remains we will be handed a fecal matter sandwich then gouged for breath mints.

2
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Sysadmin unplugged wrong server, ran away, hoped nobody noticed

Chozo

Re: Cable Ties

I like doing cable lacing :)

With so few having the skill anymore it earns me the odd bit of beer money enhancing custom PC builds and motorcycle looms.

12
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Bungling cops try to use dead chap's fingers to unlock his smartmobe

Chozo

I pity the lawyer who claims the accused gave his consent

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Planned European death ray may not need Brit boffinry brain-picking

Chozo
Devil

Brotron Labs

Made over ten years ago the Electrolux Death Ray will take some beating

http://www.brotron.com/Movies/DeathRay.mov

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Surprise! Wireless brain implants are not secure, and can be hijacked to kill you or steal thoughts

Chozo

Just in case anybody has not seen the cyberpunk short film "Sight" where the guy hacks his dates wetware when she discovers he's a game junkie using a dating app.

https://youtu.be/lK_cdkpazjI

3
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Airbus plans beds in passenger plane cargo holds

Chozo

If they could eject me as the plane flies over my destination that would be a terrific!

3
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Get ready for the Internet of Battle Things, warns US Army AI boffin

Chozo

I think the predictions of Robin Williams film 'Toys' and more recently 'Enders Game' where the kids think they are playing video games but actually controlling real weapons is disturbingly closer.

5
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Company insiders behind 1 in 4 data breaches – study

Chozo
Coat

I still get good results moonlighting as an office cleaner. Oops I knocked the bin over, I,ll just get under the desk..

Mines the one with a pocket full of key loggers

3
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Magic Leap ships headsets at last, but you'll need a safe

Chozo
WTF?

Coincidence?

Magic Leap ships hardware the same day the 'Ready Player One' movie hits cinemas...

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Any social media accounts to declare? US wants travelers to tell

Chozo
Devil

Could be fun

Is there a maximum number of entries limit ?

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Uber self-driving car death riddle: Was LIDAR blind spot to blame?

Chozo
FAIL

Reducing the number of sensors to cut costs...

Should of seen that coming

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10Mbps for world+dog, hoots UK.gov, and here is how we're doing it

Chozo

<grumble> only time my router shifts data at 10Mbps involves gravity and an open window

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