* Posts by MyffyW

1150 posts • joined 11 Jun 2013


Boffins build bugged bees bearing backpacks

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: "Minimize harm done to their surveillance bees"

Very Punny, Honey :-)

My rational, boring conscience is however still trying to vocalise the what-the-fecking-fracking-feck from the substance of the main article. What's wrong with just getting a bit of honey from them and otherwise leaving the poor things alone?

China on its way to becoming the first nation to land on the far side of the Moon

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: One step at a time

Rumours that Donald Trump plans to put US boots on Mars in time for the prick's 100th birthday are unsubstantiated.

For fax sake: NHS to be banned from buying archaic copy-flingers

MyffyW Silver badge

Good Enough

So there are 8,000 fax machines in the NHS? Let's assume they last about 4 years and cost 200 quid to replace. That's GBP 400,000 that will be saved. Round it up to GBP 1 million to account for consumables and phone bills and it's still three parts of eff-all in NHS terms. Show me the NHS system that can replace everything they do and will "only" cost 1 million a year.

Basically this "ditch the fax" drive is a conjurers distraction. I suggest you guard your watch and check your change.

Dine crime: Chippy sells deep fried Xmas dinner

MyffyW Silver badge

Under no circumstances whatsoever should one consume sprouts as a nursing mother. The resulting nappies from your offspring are beyond explanation.

It's the wobbly Microsoft service sweepstake! If you have 'Teams', you've won a lifetime Slack sub

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: Of course, given recent statements from the rumor mill...

@jake well said, alas only two of us seem to have got the joke.

Have a set of "a" disks circa 1998 as a reward...

Total Inability To Support User Phones: O2 fries, burning data for 32 million Brits

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: Pffft

Vodafone have recently been strapping SIM cards to cows butts with an outfit called MooCall, so you can add the number of pregnant bovines to the overall phone count too.

MyffyW Silver badge

Lack of O2

I did wonder what Project Phlogiston was... but I was afraid to ask

Microsoft polishes up Chromium as EdgeHTML peers into the abyss

MyffyW Silver badge

just an idea

Turn Windows into a Linux distro?

Why, they don't even need to do that much. Just release it as a Window Manager and Desktop Environment on top of Debian.

Windows started life on top of a command line OS, seems appropriate to return there...

It was a lit CeBIT see, got teeny weeny, world's biggest tech show yearly party... closed its German fest's doors yesterday

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: English..

@El Reg - I think you need to renew your poetic license.

OneDrive is broken: Microsoft's cloudy storage drops from the sky for EU users

MyffyW Silver badge

Oh I don't know @tin_2 ... the little picture of a paper aeroplane with a snubbed nose well and truly made up for my inability to get to all my fecking files.

"How I learnt to stop worrying and came to love the cloud" - as nobody ever wrote.

Office 365 Exchange enjoys a less than manic Monday. Users? Not so much

MyffyW Silver badge

I don't like Mondays

I guess I chose the wrong day to pitch Office 365 to the board.

[unscrewing a bottle of nail varnish for the volatile organic compounds as we speak]

NASA's Mars probe InSight really has Mars in sight: It beams back first pic after touchdown

MyffyW Silver badge

InSight can drill 16ft!

I've heard those sort of boasts before. I'm hoping this little chap doesn't suffer from performance anxiety.

Black Friday? Yes, tech vendors might be feeling a bit glum looking at numbers for the UK

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: Maybe the UK isn't the best exemplar, right now.

I have a Remain clock that is completely accurate, but only two-and-a-bit years after the event.

Well that's just spliffing: UK Amazon merchants peddling Mary Jane

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: The products in question are no longer available

"They're coming! They're coming" and "Gorilla Panic" are still in stock.

Alas, "This is Permanent" had run out...

Microsoft confirms: We fixed Azure by turning it off and on again. PS: Office 362 is still borked

MyffyW Silver badge

Office 340

Process plants are commonly designed to run for 8000 hours/year, allowing time for routine maintenance and upgrades throughout that year.

I'd be quite happy to pitch this to my users if MS would provide a 10% reduction in fees. And serious recompense if they fell below that.

As it stands Microsoft seem to be achieving about 0.93 of a year, or about 1 unit of factory uptime.

As to the name of the El Reg unit, I nominate it "the Tony" after Factory Records founder Tony Wilson.

Finally a platform for train puns: IBM Halt station derailed

MyffyW Silver badge

I hope they issued shutdown -h under appropriate change control.

Azure, Office 365 go super-secure: Multi-factor auth borked in Europe, Asia, USA

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: Drink Cloudy Bollocks

I've probably drunk worse down the years ...

'Blockchain SAVED my Quango'

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: Copyright blockchain?

I ran across a suggestion that Blockchain could be used for land registration.

Because the one thing that one finds really stressful in house buying is the land registry?

[sorry, coat is on already, just doing up the buttons, leaving right now.]

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: Down under

That's A$700K worth spending if it stopped further idiocy.

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: Did I sleep too long?

I've got an idea for a Blockchain Sitcom

Surely that would be multiple, distributed situations providing resilient comedic opportunities...

If Shadow Home Sec Diane Abbott can be reeled in by phishers, truly no one is safe

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: I doubt she'll ever be Home Secretary, but...

Just because she's the shadow doesn't automatically mean she'd become Home Sec after a Labour win. That's in the gift of the PM.

Nikola Tesla's greatest challenge: He could measure electricity but not stupidity

MyffyW Silver badge

Don't blame the Serbs

British fears of German Naval strength, French desire to reclaim Alsace-Lorainne, Russian angst at the length of time it would take to mobilise their army, Austro-Hungarian dented pride mixed with internal contradictions inherent in a land empire, German expansionism and desire to avoid encirclement might all have a had a slight part to play beyond the single hand weapon that Gavrilo Princip discharged in Sarajevo back in 1914.

I'm out of breath now ....

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: country & western singers

@Pascal not that I disagree with you, but if you are successful in your suggestion some might identify you as an "influencer".

This revolution will not be televised – but it will be sanctioned: Googlers walk out over 'sex pest' executive scandals

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: "Feeling Googly"

... or the management response "The Sound of Silence"

Facebook sets Linux kernel tools free

MyffyW Silver badge

Been around for many years

Yes, but OMD are still one of my favourite synth bands of all time.

If you leave ... being about the most perfect accompaniment to Molly Ringwald's prom-night dilemma in Pretty in Pink

Budget 2018: UK goes it alone on digital sales tax for tech giants

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: There will be £10m for a scheme to identify ways to keep physics and maths teachers in schools

@Danny_14 said "The profession is basically boiling down to the same as the NHS - hopefully you can train enough people in 3/4 years to replace the ones who quit after 3/4 years."

The same grim equation that held sway on the Russian front for a similar period of time.

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: There will be £10m for a scheme to identify ways to keep physics and maths teachers in schools

I hate the idea of teaching subjects I love to indifferent teenagers but for £10m I'll give it a shot.

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: Brexit coin

> Shouldn't it be a 52p coin?

Err, more like a 45p coin given the deterioration in exchange rates since that vote.

F***=off, Google tells its staff: Any mention of nookie now banned from internal files, URLs

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: The evolution of euphemism

deeply offended ... I'm getting the flock out of here

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: Call me PC if you will

@cNova ... strongly recommend watching "The Thick of It" for the art form of workplace swearing in all it's glory.

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: Just tell 'em...

Spin up the FTL and get the frack out of there ...

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: And then there are Spoonerisms

Having spent time in the company of enlightened ecclesiastical folk, I happily raise a toast to the dear old queen.

Happy 60th birthday, video games. Thank William Higinbotham for your misspent evenings

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: would you like to play a game?

How about withdrawal from the Intermediate Nuclear Forces treaty?

What do you mean that sounds risky? What's the worst that could happen?

Tumblr turns stumblr, left humblr: Blogging biz blogs bloggers' private info to world+dog

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: Give it to me straight.

@J.R.Hartley - assume the position.

Outside of Japan, Fujitsu KILLS the K5 cloud with 'immediate effect'

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: Hands up: who'd heard of it before this article?

Heard of it from our Fujitsu peers, never so much as dipped a toe in it, but given what a Horlicks FJS make of our traditional co-lo services I'm not mourning it's passing.

Remember that lost memory stick from Heathrow Airport? The terrorist's wet dream? So does the ICO

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: The Queen

If her Maj really does take the same route every time, surely that in itself is a risk?

30 years ago, NASA put Challenger behind it and sent a Space Shuttle back out into the black

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: What a machine.

The Space Shuttle Main Engine (SSME) is without a doubt one of the most intricate mechanisms humankind has ever constructed. And the concept of a reusable space plane is pure '50s dreaming. Flawed but awesome.

SpaceX touches down in California as Voyager 2 spies interstellar space

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: No more planets?

The ability to destroy a planet SpaceX-press-release is insignificant next to the power of the Force a 41 year old RTG.

On the seventh anniversary of Steve Jobs' death, we give you 7 times he served humanity and acted as an example to others

MyffyW Silver badge

Lest we judge

Whilst few of us would care to have our lives weighed in the balance (by Anubis or any other deity) I did get reminded of a phrase a learned co-worker of mine oft repeated:

The Karma Police will get you.

Microsoft: OK, we have no phones, but look how much we love Android

MyffyW Silver badge

This doesn't feel like a ringing endorsement of the platform, merely a meek recognition that the game has moved on. I wouldn't care to bet on which tech-titan will ultimately hold sway, although I'd be putting an outside bet on a company I've barely heard of - but for the fact I've yet to hear of them.

US and UK Amazon workers get a wage hike – maybe they'll go to the movies, by themselves

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: What's the net benefit to workers?

Sanders is a Left-Liberal or (in European terms) a Social Democrat. That's certainly a bit left wing but "far left" is pushing it.

Saying he's keen on "doling out other people's money" misses the point - the state already does just that when private industry privatises profit but nationalises loss.

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: even without Brussels attempts to dole out quotas.

I, for one, am looking forward to our lonely island subsisting on herring and potatoes. Will certainly make Bake Off more of a challenge.

UK ruling party's conference app editable by world+dog, blabs members' digits

MyffyW Silver badge


Whilst I appreciate you explaining the significance of a P45 to our left-pondian friends it is very definitely not "also known as a pink slip" in this fair Kingdom.

I like nothing more than relaxing in my pink slip, but it's made of cotton, lace and elastine, and very definitely does not convey my tax status to a subsequent employer.

Fortnite 'fesses up: New female character's jiggly bits 'unintended' and 'embarrassing'

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: I'm shocked...

I rather appreciate the fact somebody has gone to the trouble to model the not-so-simple-harmonic motion my wobbly bits are subjected to.

I do look forward to Calamity the Cowgirl being fitted with a Triumph Doreen full cup to comply with Fortnite's concerned shock. Make sure you include those thick shoulder straps.

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: Socialists ... complaining that breasts are sexist

I'm pretty certain Nye Bevan would have appreciated a bouncing bosom.

Herbert Morrison too, although he'd have got a sharp look from Ellen Wilkinson if he got caught.

Brit startup plans fusion-powered missions to the stars

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: On the subject of wildly optimistic deadlines

Domestic Fusion?

Everybody knows all you need is Pons, Fleischmann and a beaker full of heavy water....

AWS elbows Google Cloud aside in fight for SAP HANA customers

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: How long?

S/4 HANA SaaS product lacks many features of the S/4 HANA product you can run on your own VM, so I would concur - SAP don't want to own the bitbarn space. They already own you via the ERP software,

Send up a satellite to zap space junk if you want Earth's orbit to be clean, say boffins

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: Centrifugal force

Centrifugal Force? .... an engineering phantom. There is no such thing. An object undergoing circular motion will be subject to a centripetal acceleration. The "force" outwards is a reaction to the circular motion.

[Takes off her pedant hat before she feels it necessary to refute the assertion "It surrounds us and penetrates us; it binds the universe together"]

NASA to celebrate 55th anniversary of first Moon landing by, er, deciding how to land humans on the Moon again

MyffyW Silver badge

Re: That's no space programme ...

...err. And that's about it, really.

Move along, nothing to see. It comes to something when you yearn for a President with even the vision and moral fibre of a Kennedy or Nixon.


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