* Posts by DwarfPants

57 posts • joined 6 Jun 2013


Blighty: We spent £1bn on Galileo and all we got was this lousy T-shirt


Re: "Can we have the heads of Farage, Boris and Davis on a post outside Parliament?"

And revenge for daddies humiliation

LastPass? More like lost pass. Or where the fsck has it gone pass. Five-hour outage drives netizens bonkers



Clouds are cold and wet. I have walked through a few, so know from personal experience.

Why are sat-nav walking directions always so hopeless?


Re: Tea with milk

And always Lipton Tea. Is it even sold in the UK, I suspect not as the only way to get you to drink it is to be in a place with no alternatives.

Solid password practice on Capital One's site? Don't bank on it


Re: Single figure entry

<sarc>They probably store a hash of each individual character. That will keep it secure.</sarc>

Official: Google Chrome 69 kills off the World Wide Web (in URLs)


Re: The layers keep piling up

Get a person with a computer gismo to tell the ECU it has a new injector and that it should be friends with it, so it can stop complaining like the world is about to end.

Budget hotel chain, UK political party, Monzo Bank, Patreon caught in Typeform database hack


If you google TypeForm

You get the tag line "Typeform: Turn data collection into an experience"

Possibly one where you need to visit a clinic in the near future


Re: Dates of birth

Surely you need 2/4/69

Headless man found in lava’s embrace


No body else has so I will

Tis but a flesh wound

even so, its going to smart.

Mines the one with the hat, but you can keep the hat

Admin needed server fast, skipped factory config … then bricked it


LIF Sockets, I guess the Low is relative

I once had the pleasure of adding a math co-processor in a LIF socket. I ended up taking the board out putting it on a pile of paper and leaning on it with all my weight. It worked but something I decided I would never do again. Hurrar for ZIF sockets.

Mailsploit: It's 2017, and you can spoof the 'from' in email to fool filters


Why are the headers so painful to access in many clients?

Why are the headers so painful to access in many clients?

I know the great unwashed don't understand them so they must be hidden to keep the illusion that its all simple and magic, but they hold the closest thing to the truth and I want to be able to read them. Not to have to do the computing equivalent to searching in the basement with no stairs, in a filing cabinet, behind a sign saying beware of the leopard. Hurmph

Forget Sesame Street, scientists pretty much watched Big Bird evolve on Galápagos island


Re: I was taught...

And there will always be those that rebel against the natural order of things. A 15pin subD will fit in a 9pin serial if you push hard enough, but damage to your end is enviable.

San Franciscans unite to smite alt-right with minefield of doggy shite


It does not go white any more as it is in a sented bag hung in the nearest tree. If you are going to bother bagging it, have the decency to bin it.

Britons ambivalent about driverless car tech, survey finds


Re: Sunday (autonomous) driving

35 mph are you sure that is correct. I have always experienced this phenomenon as 40 on dual carriageway, 40 on A roads, 40 on B roads, 40 in 30 zones, 40 in 20 zones, 40 past the school, hospital, old people home. Its almost like there is only one speed, or the driver is too lazy to do any thinking.

Auto gearboxes, I am sure there must be good ones out there, but I have only experienced ones that wanted me to be sure the acceleration was what I really, really wanted. By the time it decided I did and and changed down, a nice safe gap turned into a clean trousers requirement.

CMD.EXE gets first makeover in 20 years in new Windows 10 build


Re: Fucking Heresy

El Reg should dev a button to insert the regularly occurring "When I were a lad" Monty Python sketch. Or implement additional points for the individual who gets back to; when I were a lad we only had Hydrogen and had to craft our own heavy elements, bare foot in the snow.

Just noticed there is another on in https://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2017/08/04/on_call/

Tape lives! The tape archive bit bucket is becoming bottomless


Re: I have a new 1PB+ storage option.

Is the compression algorithm something like this. Processed in binary, remove all zeros as this is just wasted space and dedupe the ones. By my reckoning you have invented infinite compression. Well done, if you will excuse me now I need to go an oil my perpetual motion machine.

Tesco Online IT meltdown: Fails to deliver thousands of grocery orders


Irritating if it impacts my annual order

I use deliver once a year to do the food order for a Scout camp, I will be peeved if I have to visit a store and do it manually as I have many other tasks to do in the time between the order arriving and camp starting.

Hard-pressed Juicero boss defends $400 IoT juicer after squeezing $120m from investors


Re: Easy juice? Sounds good to me.

"are you really trying to argue that there isn't evidence of useful nutrients being contained in vegetables?"

No, that would be insane. It was intended as more of a comment on the media, as I am recommended to eat one thing one day and not the next, but wait until tomorrow it will be ok again.


Re: Easy juice? Sounds good to me.

I believe we have made it to a 10-a-day recommendation. Probably followed by another piece of research that is either paid for by a vested interest or taken out of context by the press that says fruit and veg is bad and we should only eat moon rock if we want a long life.

All things in moderation and try to get out of the chair long enough to raise the heart rate.

Apple wets its pants over Swatch ad tagline


Its looking quite choppy in my tea cup today.

This AI stuff is all talk! Bots invent their own language to natter away behind humans' backs


An infinite number of bots with typewriters

I await the sonnets.

Trump signs 'no privacy for non-Americans' order – what does that mean for rest of us?


Re: Trump has become more deranged

"How exactly does one 'prepare' for a third world war? :("

A) Make peace with your maker

B) Spend quality time with family and loved ones

C) Do the things you have always wanted to do

D) Invest in hedonistic pleasures (I have just looked up hedonistic to make sure I was spelling it correctly and It appears I have just written : Invest in investing in pleasures pleasures. Probably should have just written hedonism)

Pick any combination that appeals to you and does not make anyone else preparation harder - be nice to one another.

Blue sky basic income thinking is b****cks


Alternative lifestyle

There was a time when I watched the Discovery channel and wondered what drives the offgird'ers to live 20 miles from their nearest neighbor. Now I find myself with a increasing collection of outdoor tools and looking longingly at woodlands for sale.

The purpose of a business is to provide a mechanism for people to support their families, they do this by providing goods or services others consider to have value.

Mine is the checkered one with the Davy Crockett style hat.

UK.gov was warned of smart meter debacle by Cabinet Office in 2012


3 Phase Supply!

That just means you can have 3 smart meters instead of the just the one.

WTF ... makes mobile phone batteries explode?


Lots of technical detail

Whilst the http://batteryuniversity.com/ is produced by a battery charging company, with a vested interest is flogging expensive battery chargers, it does have a lot of interesting information about batteries, charging, chemistry etc.

NASA's free research trove may have broken arms trafficking rules


Re: NASA: past its sell-by date

Locking blade! not without a good reason sonny. Oh! in a non-public location, carry on as you were

Excel hell messes up ~20 per cent of genetic science papers


For your own sanity don't look at Excels handling of Boolean values

Enter True or false in a cell Excel will treat it as a Boolean value, try the same thing via code and enter a whole world incorrect types. The source of this particular pain is the auto conversion of the cell to Boolean type and there being no way of specifying a cell is a Boolean value.

I caveat this with "That I have manged to find", "I quickly got bored and just used integers", "Life's to short for messing around with this", "Really FFS"

Drowning Dalek commands Siri in voice-rec hack attack


Techno Anyone

It sounds like you could happily include it in a techno track and it would not sound out of place. Now to get my brand of techno in to the play list for a public place, a railway station for example. No wait, announcers already sound like this, may be someone has beaten me to it. Another plan for world domination thwarted.

White hat banned for revealing vulns in news sites used by London councillors


RE: My eyes!!

It just appears to be missing flashing text and a few more fonts.

I thought it was also missing sound effects,but unplugging the head phones reveals I was mistaken.

Parliament takes axe to 2nd EU referendum petition


Best of 3?

They don't even settle sporting events without a couple of goes.


More indicative / venting than any real chance

Looking at the json only about a 100k are not associated with the UK

"name" : "United Kingdom",

"code" : "GB",

"signature_count" : 3549478

I do appreciate that this probably indicates there is a lot of other rubbish in the data. Yes I am sure that the real people who sign the petition would like the country the think again, but are realistic that this won't happen. But they would like the petty inbred retrogrades that appear to run the country that we pretty P***** about their squabbling, one upmanship, and vested interests that have created a whole load of pain for us and the next generation which we don't really need.

You've got a patch, you've got a patch ... almost every Android device has a patch


Sony Updates

Its all-right I get updates for the important stuff, like stickers for some pre-installed crap I cannot get rid of. System updates and bug fixes, they are just fluff and don't contribute to the bottom line.

Politician claims porn tabs a malware experiment, then finds God


Check,Think, Adjust, Post (Green cross code of social media)

Who in their right mind posts something to the internet (particularly when in a public position) without giving it a once over to make sure it does not contain anything that the outside world has no right to know about. Not really thinking about pron here, but innocuous stuff like web mail tabs, other applications etc.

Official duties whilst browsing pron, head in hands, face palm (maybe just bang head on desk,hands not available) we should set an award like the Darwin awards for spectacular political suicide where IT is the weapon of choice

First successful Hyperloop test module hits 100mph in four seconds


Re: Technical Question

In Hyperloop no one can hear you scream.

Leaks tube to atmosphere, not too bad things go a bit slower.

Leaks capsule to tube, not so good (never mind the shortness of breath, its the boiling body fluids that will smart), but you still go fast.

'Panama papers' came from email server hack at Mossack Fonseca


Re: Needn't stay on paper/micro

"Discussion of the intricacies of bulk conversion of archive files is a great hit at parties btw"

I bet you have to fight the ladies/gents off with a sick.

Voyager 1 now 20 BEEEELLION KMs from the Sun


not much interest and not much change


dark & cold, not much to see


dark & cold not much to see


dark & cold not much to see


something new to see

No, Agile does not 'equal' DevOps: Examining complexity and the long haul


SEP implementation process

Shock Horror - Complicated remains complicated even if you have moved complexity up stream.

I suppose it depends where you sit, you could have successfully implemented a SEP (Somebody Else's Problem, thanks to Douglas Adams for inventing this)

Brit-American hacker duo throws pwns on IoT BBQs, grills open admin


Re: I'm sorry, what?

Maybe they use the packets falling out of the end of the wire as fuel. I cannot think of many other reasons for attaching a fire to the internet. Maybe a firery conflagration is an aspirational goal for all the other IoT

Top Android app devs found exfiltrating mystery stealth packets


Comparison of android, iOS, Windows

Probably same S*** different texture / consistency

US military readies drone submarine hunter


Re: Salvage?

Interesting question, So interesting I have had to look it up on the fountain of truth and accuracy that is Wikipedia, and it says the for the law of salvage to be used the subject has to be in danger (not necessarily immediate). I guess an army of military lawyers would rush to court to explain it was under autonomous control and not in any danger, thus you owe them time in a location of their choosing and/or plies of cash.

Microsoft's Big Data-driven improvement efforts flounder


Re: Progress

Does it not depend on how you classify arse. If the individual is one as well as having one the ratio of Arse:Elbow could be 1:1. They could also be extremely unfortunate and have fallen out of the ugly tree hitting every branch on the way down, resulting in a face like the arse of a donkey as well as being one and having one. The resulting Arse:Elbow ratio being 3:2.

Sorry I am over thinking this, I'll get my coat.

Dry those eyes, ad blockers are unlikely to kill the internet


Re: @werdsmith - People who use adblockers...

What you don't like the free bin liner delivery service, I have not brought a bin bag for a few years now.

Ahmed's clock wasn't a bomb, but it blew up the 'net and Zuckerberg, Obama want to meet him


Electrical Safety Hazard - Possibly, Bomb - No

I would have been more concerned about the electrical build quality, I quite like things like mains transformers to be attached / enclosed. However in the current situation it could have cleaned the gene pool of some dead ends (not Ahmed as he built it and presumably know which bits not to touch).

The most tragic thing about the Ashley Madison hack? It was really 1% actual women


Re: So the crackers were correct - it was a scam

I don't think you'd want to take the blue pill, if there were that few women around. You could end up all dressed up and no place to go.

'Unexpected item in baggage area' assigned to rubbish area


I have posted this before but it is worth reitterating

1) Approach Checkouts

2) Evaluate items

Nothing too light

Nothing too heavy, long, big, etc.

Not too much stuff (for pity's sake don't touch it to rearrange, once you have started the transaction)

No illegible, missing bar codes

No Drugs, Solvents, Glue, Paint, Alcohol, knives, anything vaguely dangerous

No coupons, offers or other weirdness

Own bags, its a risk!

If you pass the above checks then there is an outside chance you could use a self checkout without assistance from the supervisor and the obligatory swearing at the machine.

VPNs are so insecure you might as well wear a KICK ME sign


Hide My Ass

If you could hide the rest of me as well it would be great. Surely if it is only hiding my ass the rest of me is some sort of leaking security risk.

May be it should try a different line of business, diet pills, exercise plans, nope just hide my ass. No matter how big!

Amazon listens to MORE of your private stuff


Re: Um....who uses these things?

I was already aware that part of the human condition is to produce pointless widgets to justify one's existence. But a $120 cup that may require firmware updates and is out performed by looking at the bottle you filled the cup from (unless you have developed a new version of Russian Roulette, by keeping beverages and cleaning products in identical unmarked bottles in the same cupboard and only filled your cup blindfold, with a peg on your nose) takes the p***.

Which makes you wonder what it would do if you participated in that particular fetish, maybe there is something in the terms.

Security vendor's blog post pinched to make HMRC phish look legit


Too good to be true

money back from HMRC without a pile of forms in triplicate, just what I was expecting.

I wonder how many people will still fall for it even with its Phishing addition.

I will be off now, a long lost relation I did not know I had has found a bezzilion down the back of a sofa and needs some help banking it.

MPs 'alarmed' by millions of mugshots on Brit cops' databases


Re: Future, what future

I always vote as it give me the moral right to moan and whine about whoever wins. Does not seem to achieve much more than this.

Storm in a K-Cup: My SHAME over the eco-monster I created, says coffee pod inventor


The wife wanted one because of the pretty colored pots

I drink tea, and still have to do manual grinding as I said no.

El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.


Not as bad as wired.co.uk

Its not as bad as Wired.co.uk where I feel the need to leave I hate it feedback every time I visit.

Still not a fan


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