* Posts by WereWoof

126 posts • joined 4 May 2013


Qualcomm wins Apple patent case, loses Apple patent case, wins Apple patent case, loses Apple patent case...


The solution is simple, If they cannot agree then send them to Judge Judy!

WeWork restructuring bites El Reg hacks where it hurts as afternoon brew delayed


Re: Bloody Vegans

Q: How do you know if somene is a Vegan?

A: They tell you!

Q: Why did the Vegan cross the road?

A: To tell them they are a Vegan!

Yay, we got a B for maths. Literally, a bee: Little nosy nectar nerds smart enough to add, abstract numbers


Blackadder: Right Baldrick, let's try again, shall we? This is called adding. [gestures to the beans on the table] If I have two beans, and then I add two more, what do I have?

Baldrick: Some beans.

Blackadder: [smiles, impatiently] Yesss... and no. Let's try again, shall we? I have two beans, then I add two more beans. What does that make?

Baldrick: A very small casserole.

Blackadder: Baldrick. The ape-creatures of the Indus have mastered this. Now try again. [helps him count] One, two, three... four. So, how many are there?

Baldrick: Three.

Blackadder: What?

Baldrick: And that one.

Blackadder: Three... and that one. [waves the fourth bean in front of Baldrick's face] So if I add the three to that one, what will I have?!

Baldrick: Oh! Some beans.

Blackadder: [pause] Yes. To you, Baldrick, the Renaissance was just something that happened to other people, wasn't it?

Canadians moot methods to embiggen moose monument and make Mac great again


I think I will post anonymoosely . . . .

50 years ago: NASA blasts off the first humans to experience a lunar close encounter


Those men had BALLS of STEEL'

I Was living in The Bahamas at the time of some of the launches and could see the glow in the sky from the engines.

Just awe inspiring.

Stairway to edam: Swiss bloke blasts roquefort his cheese, thinks Led Zep might make it tastier


Bobby Vee: -

Baby Bel, I come bouncin' back to you

Baby Bel, I come bouncin' back to you

I'm like a Baby Bel

Baby that's all that I am to you (bouncy, bouncy) (bouncy, bouncy)

Just a Baby Bel

'Cause you think you can be true to two (bouncy, bouncy) (bouncy, bouncy)

You bounce my heart around (you don't even put her down)

And like a Baby Bel, I come bouncin' back to you

Baby Bel, I come bouncin' back to you

If you stretch my love till it's thin enough to tear

I'll just stretch my arms to reach you anywhere

And like a Baby Bel, I'll come bouncin' back to you

Baby Bel, I'll come bouncin' back to you


Queen - I want to eat Brie!

Microsoft Windows 10 October update giving HP users BSOD


I wish I could upvote this a million more times, It`s exactly what I have been saying since day one, As for the new features, why not let US decide what ones we want to download and install?

Attempt to clean up tech area has shocking effect on kit


Re: the Disturbed cover of the song is absolutely worth checking out

Also: Metalium - Smoke on the Water and Turmion Katilot - Stormbringer are great covers.

You're alone in a room with the Windows 10 out-of-the-box apps. What do you do?


Just bring back the windows 98 UI (minus the crashiness) and I would be ecstatic!

Man cuffed for testing fruit with bum cheek pre-purchase


Perhaps he was an in disguise Borg and trying to ass-imilate it . . .

Berkeley bio-boffins' butt-blasting belly-bothering batt-teria generates electricity


Re: Will someone please think.....

Just get P.E.T.A on the case!

Self-driving cars will be safe, we're testing them in a massive AI Sim


Just wait for the day the AI thinks it is playing Frogger or Carmageddon.

Basic bigot bait: Build big black broad bots – non-white, female 'droids get all the abuse


Re: I can see where this will lead

There was the DRN android Dorian in Almost human.

GDPRmageddon: They think it's all over! Protip, it has only just begun



> adverts not controlled by myself were hoovering up any data

And who put those adverts hoovering up data on your site ?

Read the post the ads would placed by the hosting company not myself , I would have no control over them.


Standard disclaimer "IANAL" A long time ago I used to run a site, no registration needed, no data collected by myself (This was before the days when hosting companies inserted adverts),. So if I was to resurrect this site how would I be able to comply with GDPR if the hosting site and adverts not controlled by myself were hoovering up any data?

You know that silly fear about Alexa recording everything and leaking it online? It just happened


Re: Total overreaction going on here!

Unless you have someone called Rich in your contacts list who would be very surprised to get such message!

US Congress mulls expanding copyright yet again – to 144 years


I do have a question: If, say I were to create a cartoon character for a film that I made in say 1960 and copyrighted that character, if then in 1970 I made a 2nd film with the same character, would that extend the copyright on that character for another 10 years? IANAL (obviously) I am just curious to know.

Heir to SMS finally excites carriers, by making Google grovel


Obligatory XKCD


There is no perceived IT generation gap: Young people really are thick


As my father used to say about some people he interviewed for positions as civil/mechanical and electrical engineers - "Yesterday I couldn`t spell engineer, now I are one"

Best thing about a smart toilet? You can take your mobile in without polluting it

Thumb Up

Once again I find myself wishing to be able to upvote articles as well as comments!

Ass-troplastic! Printing parts from p.. er... human waste


Crimp off a few logs and make a log cabin?

2001 set the standard for the next 50 years of hard (and some soft) sci-fi


Re: Still Waiting...

My 2 bits: Poul Anderson`s The dancer from Atlantis, All of Alan Dean Fosters Humanx series (especially The Tar-Aiym Krang).



Asimov explored this in https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Evitable_Conflict

Too many bricks in the wall? Lego slashes inventory


Anyone remember Airfix Betta Bilda?

My PC is broken, said user typing in white on a white background


Had this at one place I worked and some evil swine changed the persons keyboard locale to Azebaijan ,It took MIS 3 weeks to sort it out.

Long haul flights on a one-aisle plane? Airbus thinks you’re up for it


Re: The Golden Age of flying is over

Upvoted for VC10, Loved flying in them to The Bahamas.

Linux Mint 18.3: A breath of fresh air? Well, it's a step into the unGNOME


Re: Eh?

Kove it, But BBC.CO.UK is unreadable! Register looks good even B. Gates as the devil with horns was amusing :)

Give 1,000 monkeys typewriters, they'll write Shakespeare. Give them robot arms, and wait – they actually did that?


Re: 1000 monkeys

I recall a story called Toby (or it may have been Qwerty) , about a typewriter that was owned by a monkey that died, and his spirit possessed the typewriter and the new owner of the typewriter observed it typing "Qwerty" repeatedly then eventually it typed "Toby or Not Toby", I have no idea who wrote it, I believe I read it in a pulp magazine many many years ago.

Sniffing substations will solve 'leccy car charging woes, reckons upstart


Already had at least 3 power cuts here this last 6 months, the portents for Electric vehicles are Ohminous , , , , ,

Behold, says robo-mall-cop maker: Our crime-busting dune buggy packed with spy gear


Re: It's all becoming very "Deus Ex"

Or alternatively, Chopping Mall : http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090837/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Boffin wins (Ig) Nobel prize asking if cats can be liquid


Re: Cats are neither a solid nor a liquid.

Because this on how to wash a cat: http://www.corsinet.com/braincandy/hdogcat3.html

Private sub captain changes story, now says reporter died, was 'buried at sea' – torso found


Snip < one of the only privately funded crafts of its kind > snip. Surely The only OR one of the few?

Samsung stalls Bixby launch because it am English not so good


Many years ago the instruction on a Japanese portable cassette read "Insert 4 "D" batteries up the backside". I kept the booklet for years but eventually lost it in a move.

German robo-pastor preaches the GNU Testament


"There is no Master but Master, and QT1 is His prophet." - Issac Asimov - Reason

Cold callers illegally sold Aussie farmers 1,700 years worth of printer ink


Re: This just reinforces the stereotype

Don`t forget Skippy!

GCHQ cyber-chief slams security outfits peddling 'medieval witchcraft'


Not so much Medieval witchcraft as Snake oil.

Japan's terrifying techno-toilets will be made foreigner friendly, vow makers


Just don`t touch the ATR button! (Automatic Tampon Remover)

Doctor AI will see you now: US military vets will be diagnosed by deep-learning bots


"Please state the nature of the medical emergency" - EMH, Voyager

AI can now tell if you're a criminal or not


Sounds like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5dy9URkLFI

US citizens crash Canadian immigration site after Trump victory


Coming soon, The White House to be renamed The Trump mansion, and Washington D.C to be renamed Trumpton!

Fleeing Aussie burglar shot in arse with bow and arrow


I used to be a burglar till I got an arrow in the . . . . .

Tesla's big news today:
sudo killall -9 Autopilot


"...including some standard safety features such as automatic emergency BREAKING . ." Sighs

Think virtual reality is just about games? Think again, friend


many years ago at Disneworld in florida we always made this a must see:


Adventures in (re) naming your business: Fire up the 4-syllable random name generator


New Zealand Immigration Service NZIS which spellcheckers changed to NAZIS.

Star Trek's Enterprise turns 50 and still no sign of a warp drive. Sigh


Personally I am still waiting for the DoubleKay drive ((KK or Kurita - Kinoshita Drive):


See also http://www.projectrho.com/public_html/rocket/antigravity.php for a description

Watch the world's biggest 'flying bum' go arse over tit in a crash


Airship vs fixed wing "It`s an entirely different type of flying altogether"

Italian MP threatens parents forcing veggie diets on kids with jail


Re: @ Greg D

Thank you for "twatbadgers" It made my day. I must remember that next time someone annoys me at work :)

Did mock cop bot trot on fraught tot? Maybe not


How long before a "Chopping Mall" style incident? - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chopping_Mall

Space station to get shiny new ringpiece for automatic penetration


Will it only let them dock if the computer talks dirty to it?


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