* Posts by MonkeyCee

840 posts • joined 16 Apr 2013

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Oculus backtracks on open software promise

MonkeyCee
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Re: Come on guys

I understand that over-promising is a thing, but if that over promise is tied into getting someone to do a thing now in expectation of a thing in the future, then it's lying and manipulation. Or sales :)

If I say I'll paint your house for a tenner, and you agree (and turn down other offers to do it), then I turn up and say "oh, I meant a grand" would you shrug and say "oh well" and give me the cash? Would you fuck. Cost is a major factor for most decisions, and doubling it indicates that the initial price was waaay off. If you want to avoid damaging the brand, being upfront that you've fucked the numbers and things are going to be more pricey (but quality will be good) might have been a better tactic.

Manufacturing is tricky as you say, even experienced groups can make huge errors in planning and operating that lead to large (and possibly prohibitive) costs. That goes doubly for new products, and small (sub 100k for widgets, sub 10 for big things) production runs. So if you're going to promise a product (a la Kickstarter) then you should have a plan for cost over-runs, delays, and other people being full of "idealistic views*" that result in them promising things they can't deliver.

Crowdfunding (and unicorns) seem to have this as a common issue. Someone thinks idea X will be awesome, despite X being somewhere between difficult and impossible. Person then assumes that X can be done right first time both in design and production, and doesn't bother to build a prototype. After getting funding for X, it turns out to be waaaay harder than planned, so company folds, after taking the cash.

* There's a cultural factor too, some places will simply not say "no" or "that's not possible" even when you are clearly asking for the moon on a stick, yesterday, whilst being showered in unicorn piss.

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The ‘Vaping Crackdown’ starts today. This is what you need to know

MonkeyCee
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Re: Have a large cold one, Steven R !

Thanks Steven :)

And I'd like to make it clear that you are purely informing me of an option, that in no way constitutes a recommendation :)

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MonkeyCee
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Re: Have a large cold one, Steven R !

You're a font of information Mr Raith :)

Could you recommend a site for more info on brands, options etc. In a non-promotional, purely informative way. Or you can just tell me, but you're pretty busy correcting the commentards :D

I smoke about half a pack a day, plus some non tobacco products. I've tried a couple of vapes, but both died very quickly and I suspect where a bad batch (the shop replaced them once, then refunded me after it went again) and I perhaps trusted the shop more than my usual "what does the internet say?"

TIA

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Airbus to build plane that's even uglier than the A380

MonkeyCee
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Re: Question

My understanding is that a many of the huge Antonov's are used for shipping wings and engines around the place.

That and various other things that are big, expensive and not suitable to be stuck on a boat.

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Hack probing poodle sacrifice cuffed for public crap

MonkeyCee
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Re: sacrifice and smoking of a family poodle

I doubt it :)

The USA has advantages of numbers :) UK would need an idiot rate roughly 5 times that of the USA.

That being said, there's probably some imbecile breeding program that the UK has where the ultimate Goth-Saxeburg-Fuckwit cross can be achieved :)

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The Sons of Kahn and the Witch of Wookey

MonkeyCee
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Erm....

It's Star Trek a la JJ Abrams, not Lucas.

I know it's confusing since ol' JJ is doing Star Trek and Star Wars at the same time.

And it's a very valid criticism of JJ that he pretty much makes a story board of all the good scenes from a movie series, then puts them in some order, then invents a plot that veers between mild and complete suspension of disbelief to hang them together.

At least he manages the pacing so that it's watchable (YMMV) and fucks less with the canon than Lucas did.

To be fair while he butchered Trek (wife is the Trek nut here), at least the latest Wars managed to have both a halfway decent protagonist and villein without re-using old characters. And was far more like episodes 4-6 in feel, rather than 1-3.

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Got $130,000 down the back of the sofa? Great. Grab an HP 3D printer

MonkeyCee
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WTF?

Re: "The market is forecast to rise from $4.1bn in 2015 to $16.2bn by 2020"

" The cartridge jokes are funny, but 3D printing will change the world within 25 years. We are just at the beginning. New generations of engineers will start designing products in such a manner that 3D printed parts can be used."

Nah, your whole post is way funnier mate :)

Products already can have parts made by 3D printers. It's just kinda pointless since most are better made by other existing manufacturing processes.

"Production nowadays implies that one should buy raw materials from all over the world, produce something, pack it on ships and lorries to get it to the user. With 3D printing, buying goods is like buying software, the manufacturer sends the 3D design to the 3D printer, and one can pickup the purchase at the local 3D print shop. This eliminates a costly, and polluting supply chain."

No it doesn't, it indicates you've got no fucking idea of what you're talking about.

So our current model is:

1. Extract raw materials, transport to processing plant

2. Process raw materials into useful materials. May include being transported and re-processed several times (eg ore -> metal -> alloy)

3. Transport useful materials to manufacturing plant

4. Transport finished products from manufacturer to supply chain

5. Supply chain to retailer to customer

The new thrilling exciting 3D printer will instead do exactly the same thing, except that instead of the manufacturing plant being in a different country, it'll be in the same one. You have a supply chain of the same length, only with higher costs added at stage 3, and less at stage 4. You also have a notably higher manufacturing cost if your desired widget has a demand that can be more easily and cheaply met by some other manufacturing process.

So if your widget is in the ideal annual demand zone (more than 1000, less than 100k), and is perishable (otherwise you'd do a 1 million item run every 10 years), and is suitable to made by a 3D printer, and has had someone design and release the instructions for it, it'll be great.

3D printing is a useful specialized tool. It's a nice hobby too. It's just a very niche manufacturing process, that has *already* had a large impact on industry. There are a couple of 3D printing "shops" around here, none of which turn a profit on 3D printing.

As a direct example, I had a friend who needed about 2000 prop guns from the early 20th century. He has access to a good quality 3D printer (industrial type), and a friendly museum which he could get the relevant pieces to copy from. It cost about a quarter of the amount they expected for the 3D print to get actual firearms* made by Philippians. That's hand making stuff from metal is cheaper than printing plastics.

* there was some misunderstanding, so the samples where fully functioning, causing problems with customs. The rest where blank firers.

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New solar cell breaks efficiency records, turns 34% of light into 'leccy

MonkeyCee
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Re: Critical questions

It's not about renewable energy, it's about viable technologies.

There are highly reliable. large scale power generation technologies. None of these are green and renewable, the closest being hydro dams and geothermal. Those are pretty dependent on geography, and their failure can be far more damaging than a nuke station going critical. The grid needs to reliably meet it's demands pretty much all of the time, or life is problematic.

There are moderately reliable power generation technologies that could be classified as renewable. Run of river hydro, tidal, large scale solar concentrators. These work 40 - 95% and are useful as a group, but you still have to either have the base load supply available from elsewhere.

Then there are the unreliable power generation technologies which are pretty much only any use (from a grid perspective) for reducing demand. That's what almost all renewables come under, they can't actually replace any baseload generation. Wind too slow, wind too fast, or wind too irregular = no wind generation.

This is not to say that it's not possible to go full renewable. If the grid can choose to not supply demand at various points, then the balancing becomes possible. It's *just* deciding who can and can't have power at certain times. At the point where we have to start living like it's the 19th century (whilst paying current bills) I'd imagine a lot of those nice middle class green voters would change their mind.

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MonkeyCee
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Re: In terms of watts per dollar...

I think you've managed to assume you use half, and half just disappears. Knocking somethings production by 50% will indeed make it's repayment time twice as long :)

The rough sums I had for NL is about the same costs (4500-6k euros for about 3.5 - 4 kWh*) where power costs us 22c per kWh and excess bought back at ~8c. Gives roughly 380 euro a year savings, and 100-120 refund from the power company. So roughly 500 a year for an investment of roughly 5.5k.

So payback between 8-12 years, house gets *more* value added than the cost of the system (going from an efficiency rating of E to C), which adds about another 6 months onto the payback period (taxed on value of house).

So it appears to be a reasonable deal, assuming you've got the funds laying around and you can't get 7% returns someplace else, or 5% without paying tax.

* that's an average, based on UK like homes. My house is a lot cheaper due to labour costs as it's got a flat roof with relative ease of access, and it's generated 25% over the expected value in the first year.

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Inside Electric Mountain: Britain's biggest rechargeable battery

MonkeyCee
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Re: Now build a few dozen more...

"Sorry, folks, you wanted wind and solar to power nations.

No, I never did, because it cant."

Indeed, this needs more repeating. Some separation of the renewables into things that are grid level supply (like hydro), grid level but part time (big wind, solar concentrators), and stuff that is effectively small scale demand reduction (rooftop solar, micro wind/hydro, insulation).

I've got some of the things that "count" as renewables, but I'm under no illusions that my dozen solar panels and three batteries would do anything other than allow me to scrape by and involve scheduling my power usage in ways that would drive me nuts. Good as a money saver, but not replacing the grid anytime soon. Hell, even if I ran a diesel generator it'd still be more hassle than just paying for the grid.

While I do agree with your sentiments about generation, but nuclear seems an odd comparison, since there hasn't been a nuke built in the UK for ~30 years, so calcualting it's costs are pretty bunk as a comparison. Gas, waste, bio fuel and mini hydro (in about that order) are what the UK appears to have built, and while I <3 mini hydro it's never going to be viable* for the UK as a generation source.

* based on NZ, which has masses of hydro, has mothballed and abandoned working hydro plants, and has 1/20th the population, hydro only does 50-60% of the base load, or 5-6% of the UK, if the UK had an equivalent to the mighty Waikato.

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MonkeyCee
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Trains

The UK builds trains for Germany and the Netherlands. I get a Bombardier built small train twice a day normally :)

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MonkeyCee
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Re: Viewing habits

It's also the fact that the UK loves using water to boil kettles. There's even hilarious reg writers who, when faced with a gas supply and shoddy electric supply refuse to boil a kettle on gas or make popcorn on a stovetop instead of a microwave.

I'd rather my slightly slower boiling gas kettle coming in at 1/3rd the cost of boiling it in the 'leccy kettle. Plus we have hard water around here, so cleaning out the stovetop one is easy, de-caking an element is tricky, usually ending up with the choice of white bits of vinegar flavor in your tea.

Pumped storage and flywheel generators are both really cool, existing load balancing/energy storage solutions, and perfect examples of why "invention xyz will revolutionise power supply/distribution" are often bollocks. Real world engineering is tough, and you can't wave away the laws of thermodynamics because they don't suit your political agenda.

I'm also a huge fan of using the existing water engineering that was used to run mills etc to be used for running micro hydro, since many of the large scale costs/works are already done, and most of the environmental impact has also already occurred.

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Exercise apps track you after you stop exercising

MonkeyCee
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Re: I'm glad my cell phone isn't smart...

Cardio versus resistance depends on what results you're looking for and what you're doing that requires training for.

While I like resistance training, and it's pretty good for all round stuff, if you're planning to be doing something endurance based then you need a fair bit of cardio too.

It's also very easy to do resistance training "wrong", where you fail to isolate muscle groups, or do too few reps on too high a weight. Or sticking to machines for stuff that really needs free weights. Cardio is (for the exercise benefits) hard to fuck up, and has a different class of poseurs.

For me, I needed to count to 25 for the reps, and to 4-5 for the sets. But I was seeking conditioning and staying flexible rather than just adding power. Also means that I keep my lean (slow twitch) muscle for years afterwards, whereas the big showy fast twitch muscle falls off after about 3-6 months of not doing regular gym work.

I ran mainly because the sport I was playing involved lots of running. So to train for running around for a couple of hours the only real practice is running. Did like swimming for cardio and resistance when my knees where giving me grief.

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Kazakhstan wins bid to get Mega IP address info on state secrets hackers

MonkeyCee
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Hmmm

Considering NZ is quite happy to prosecute* Kim Dotcom for an offence that doesn't exist in NZ at the USA's request, I very much doubt the US will be cutting off diplomatic ties over supplying info to the Kazak's on something that does in fact appear to be a crime.

Of course NZ has a delightful history of trying out shiny new laws to prosecute old grudges, only to have those cases cause massive blowback when the police/SIS turn out to have been ignoring or breaking the law.

* at great expense, and in violation of the law

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Microsoft phone support contractors told to hang up after 15 minutes

MonkeyCee
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Re: Want to increase your personal call stats? @x 7

Erm, I think you misunderstood what x 7 did.

There is a metric (call time). If you find a way to improve this metric in a bullshit fashion that violates pretty much all other metrics, and you go ahead and do it, you should be fired. Publicly. With a clear warning to the others.

I usually just ask my bosses which parts are more important. I'd often have reviews where I'd get slated for having too high an average call time, and having a "first time resolved" resolution an order of magnitude higher than the normal was about the only thing that covered me for that. Oh, and asking for the list of tings that i'm allowed to hang up on people for :)

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UK.gov pays four fellows £35k to do nothing for three months

MonkeyCee
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Re: NHS

People avoid paying tax because they want to keep the money for themselves.

It's got fuck all to do with wanting to spend on better causes.

I don't support spending a fortune on Trident, which has fuck all benefits for society, but I don't get to deduct that from my tax bill, or pick and choose what parts of the state I want to support.

It should be noted that all the taxes that are *claimed* to be for the NHS pay for it several times over. But those get redirected to serve other purposes. Paying NI so we can invade other countries seems rather shit IMHO.

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MonkeyCee
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spare ammo

The various stories I've heard from ex-service types indicate that the military beancounters are probably the scariest thing we have, since everyone who kills people for a living is terrified of them.

These where mainly kiwis, who have a highly acquisitive nature when it comes to military supplies, since our own supply lines can be terribly shit. So infantry battalion deployed in Timor, new rifles get delayed by three months. Upon arrival, the QM's look innocent and claim confusion, since quite cleary the battalion has nice shiny new rifles, ammo, and various other things the aussies clearly didn't want*.

Combat units have a habit of acquiring more things than they are allocated. So when they get audited, it's far worse to have too much of something (implies you nicked it) versus too little (which can be blamed on other stuff). Hence some firework displays rather than trying to explain where those extra cases of 5.56 came from**.

* otherwise they wouldn't have left them laying around without proper security ;)

** in general, from the US taxpayer

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Database man flown to Hong Kong to install forgotten patch spends week in pub

MonkeyCee
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Welly

Wellington NZ has a fun airport too, it's got sea at both ends of the runway, so you go down between two headlands over water, and then you get land and wheels down at what feels like the same moment.

It's also the only time that I've had the pilot been given a standing ovation after a landing.

It can have pretty mean side winds too, landing small planes there can be interesting.

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Banning computers makes students do better on exams – MIT

MonkeyCee
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Re: Further testing required

Currently we have to write our CS type exams on paper, since that's the rules for exams.

The only "good" thing is that while it's a real pain in the arse to code on paper*, it's an even bigger one to mark it.

I don't mind too much, since I came of age in the previous millennium, so tend to hand write my notes anyway.

The class which only allowed computers in the first two rows and had a TA sitting in the back row did the best from making people have to actually pay attention.

The classes which have breaks longer than an hour apart tend to leave people with terrible recall of anything passed the 60 minute mark. Based on what I need to help explain to otherwise very on to it kids anyway. 4 hour calc classes with a single break led to the lowest passing rate.

* actual code. Design stuff and pseudocode are fine being hand written for exams IMHO

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Learn a scripting language and play nicely: How to get a DevOps job

MonkeyCee
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The joy of the informality of my current environment, "talking bollocks" is in fact listed as a skill requirement, and held by certain people.

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Apple, AT&T, Verizon named in $7bn VoIP patent claim

MonkeyCee
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Re: "You think that's air you're breathing ?"

The whole point of the trolls is that you don't need to win the suit. If you're able to file, and it doesn't get kicked out right away, then you are in the money.

Not the billions you're asking for (obv), but the companies you're trolling can either spend up on their legal team (in the 8 figure range) or settle with you.

There's not a lot that can be done either. Even forcing the trolls to prove an actual use of their patents will result in "fig leaf" use cases. Removing patent protections opens another can of worms, but would longterm (IMHO) solve the issue. Patent protection for actual inventors doesn't really seem to work, based on my experiences.

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'I thought my daughter clicked on ransomware – it was the damn Windows 10 installer'

MonkeyCee
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Re: I quite like Windows 10

"The best test is to give a computer to a child and see if they can use it in a proficient manner quickly"

If only normal users had the abilities of a 10 year old child......

Seriously, most kids are better at figuring this stuff out than those over 50.

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Valley VC Peter Thiel becomes an official Trump delegate

MonkeyCee
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Re: Lot of lefty luvvies on here it seems

Trump is a terrible businessman. Absolutely awful. If you paid any attention to what he's done, rather than what he bullshits about, it's very obvious.

If he hadn't inherited his wealth, he'd have nothing. If he'd done nothing with his wealth other than put it in the bank or treasury bonds, he'd not only have more money than he does now, but he wouldn't have lost his investors a few billion along the way.

But he's got confidence in spades and the ability to say contradictory things one after another without worrying about a thing. Being a playboy or a reality TV star these things are fine, even good.

But by all means, if you think he'll be the best representative of your country, that's your call. Your sexism and racism clearly put you in the "dumb rube" vote that the republicans love. Confirm your biases, and you'll vote against all your interests.

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MonkeyCee
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Re: I spot a trend here ..

I love the smell of delusion in the morning.

Clinton will win. Because she has the poll numbers, and the electorate already is quite familiar with both her and Trump. So almost no undecideds, the democratic policies are fairly clear, and anything Trump does now will either alienate his base (if they actually care about his inconsistencies) or makes it clear that nothing that comes out of his mouth can be trusted.

Since the republican field was so weak, the GOP switched to focusing on the races which actually decide things. President is nice, but in practicality the other two branches of government have more influence in the long term. The current/next presidents appointment to the supreme court will probably have more impact than most of their their first term decisions.

Trump is making a number of otherwise safe seats contested, because appealing to racists without using a dog whistle means those people of colour will vote against your party. White vote percentage is shrinking, and Trump managed to alienate the Latinos from the start.

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At the BBC, Agile means 'making it up as we go along'

MonkeyCee
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Re: At the BBC, Agile means 'making it up as we go along'

Isn't the main issue here that whatever you want to call your process, if it's not working, it's not going to produce anything useful.

If you can't pin down either some requirements, or a group who can at least review the product, then you're fucked, whatever methodology. Agile, waterfall, spiral et al all rely on some part of either having a clear idea of what you want, or someone who can tell if it's what they want (even if they didn't know beforehand).

It does seem that there is a distinct pattern of people not being able to make projects work for reasons that are fundamental to the organisation trying different methodologies when the issue is the company itself. Using a methodology to hide the fact that no-one is making correct decisions or designs isn't the fault of the methodology.

It's also a bit sad to see that almost every "Agile project fail!!!" is actually a failure to implement Agile methodology, and that leads to the tools being blamed, not the workmen. It's supposed to generate documentation as you go along, but the number of times I hear "we iz agile, we don't need no steenkin' doco" is scary. You are supposed to build and refine requirements, not just assume the customer* doesn't know and can never know them.

It also varies a lot by industry. Groups that are used to thinking and planning well ahead (power, utilities, construction, mining etc) can be a hell of a lot easier to work with than charities, arts sectors, and worst of all government departments. Legislation is magic you see, and can bend physics, time and anything else you wish by passing a law or writing a memo :)

Oh, and anyone insisting they've managed to break the iron triangle** is like someone selling you a money printing machine/free energy device. If what they had worked, they'd never need to sell it, and could just become successful by using it themselves. SW development methodologies improve these, making work more efficient and effective, but you can't suddenly create quick+cheap+good. Agile *should* give you quick+cheap, and allow you to assess these for what is good, then repeat. Planned should give you good+cheap, but speed depends on how well known the problem area is.

* inevitably there are people at the customers end who do know what they need. They are usually too busy/useful to be at any requirements meetings, or several layers of manglement have inserted themselves to ensure chinese whispers can destroy the useful information.

** Well, you can. Sort of. If you have teams of domain experts and excellent developers for a slow changing system it's somewhat possible to achieve an optimal solution, if rather inflexible.

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PLA sysadmin gets six months house arrest for yanking US Army docs

MonkeyCee
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Re: Duh.

"I've also known someone who got a job at the MOD in June, and wasn't allowed to take up his post until October, to give time for his security clearance."

That's quick :)

Knew a chap who got a promotion, but needed a higher clearance* for it. Took ~18 months to get all the background checks done. He did get the higher pay back paid at the end, and got to very thoroughly train his replacement.

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MonkeyCee
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Re: Duh.

Secret is a very low level of security clearance. Maybe the lowest? But anyway, *I* have secret level clearance for US/UK/Can/Aus/NZ and that background check is less detailed than the ones for working with kids or a credit check. I've even been givn access to stuff that is top secret, which seems to about the level of detail you can find with a quick google.

Actual proper security clearances (which I don't have) take a while to get, and involve pretty much everyone you've ever been involved with from the age of 5 upwards getting interviewed, and confessing all your sins. Had some friends and colleagues get various levels of those, since I got interviewed by some suits for those. While they can't talk about the operational stuff other than in the most generic level (they are all in signals, so it can be assumed they have access to secure comms) some of the interview questions can be quite hilarious.

Having to recount all your homosexual experiences, and then being told you are omitting things because public schoolboys have special rules on what does and doesn't count, while the spooks just care about what could be used to blackmail you. But the general notion that some poor buggers have to go through all your sordid past, and let you know that there's a record somewhere of it all does make me giggle.

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MonkeyCee
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Joke

Re: Have you ever worked for a foreign army?

"I was in the PLA for 5 years but I spend all my time goofing off and falsifying my worksheets and travel records. That's not 'working'."

Sounds like you're cut out for ether the civil service or government contracting :)

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French duck-crushing device sells for €40k

MonkeyCee
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price and value

Since you can get a new one made for about 4-5k, I presume someone wanted it for it's value of having been the "genuine" device at La Tour d'Argent. It's the same way people will pay a fortune for certain arbitrary sparkly stones, and several fortunes for those that have special stories.

While I do like duck, and blood sauces are quite nice, I'd still probably prefer most of the other stuff on the menu at La Tour d'Argent.

I'd love to try Ortolan, but that's outlawed now.

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Facebook bungs 10-year-old kid $10k to not 'eliminate' Justin Bieber

MonkeyCee
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Re: Just how bad does it have to be

Yes, and it tells you that anything a child is *really* interested in, they can spend not only more time but more mental energy than most adults on this. Thus should be better. See many computer games ;)

Since this includes outwitting their doddery caregivers (speaking as a sprog keeper) I'd welcome their attention being placed on something where this attention to detail also translated into some real world skills.

Most 10-12 year olds are smarter than anyone 16-25. Sharp minds have little people, and harder to fool.

They;d rule the world, apart from teenage hormones. One set of problems for another :)

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Docker hired private detectives to pursue woman engineer's rape, death threat trolls

MonkeyCee
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hmm

>>Have you ever experienced being a man in a 99% female workplace?

I've worked in a place with 90% female staff, 99% female users (students). Apart from the odd inappropriate comment from a teenager* all the abuse, harassment and accusations of being a feelthy peedo** came from.... men. Mainly parents, and a relief teacher who's subsequently turned out to be pretty dodgy.

At the universities I worked at a the ratio was about 3-1 female to male, and also no real harassment from the ladies, and the various vendettas carried out seemed to be more about politics and less gender.

If you've not been an obvious target, then it's easy to assume it simply doesn't happen. I grew my hair long, and suddenly I get random guys yelling at me, ranging from the funny to scary. Walk around holding hands with a women, no comments. Take a stroll holding your boyfriends hand, and you get assaulted.

While I've told this tale before, it bears a quick retelling. Chap on the service desk with me was cracking a series of "jokes" about rape and prostitutes, including the claim that "you can't rape a whore, that's just theft". So I told him that a) prostitutes are still people, and often a tad vulnerable to sexual assualts, b) rape is not an OK subject matter for joking about in the office and c) fucking a passed out woman is rape, and yeah, that does make you a self confessed rapist.

He reported me to HR, who dragged me out for a bollocking which lasted about thirty seconds when they realised that they had gotten the wrong end of the stick, and that the person making the complaint was the one who had been making the NSFW comments. Watching the prick squirm when he was trying to defend his "humor" at the meeting where he and I where the only chaps, HR and big boss being both female. He shortly afterwards decided to seek opportunities elsewhere.

Just to be clear, most men are civil and decent. It does behoove us to call out the ones who aren't, in case they take our silence for consent or agreement.

* I'd gotten another engineer to come help me out for a week, and he rode a motorbike with full leathers and looked like a greek god. Got a couple of requests for the "sexy IT guy" to come by more often. Oh and some flirty texts when they got hold of my mobile number, but they got to talk to their dean about respect and whatnot.

** Not the sensible stuff, like ensuring your behavior is of in loco parentis and above reproach at all times, keeping a door open when you're alone with a student, and handling the inevitable teenage crushes with care and dignity.

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Good enough IT really is good enough. You don't need new hardware

MonkeyCee
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Re: The opposite

Perfection is the enemy of good.

A poor decision made now is often better than a good decision made after a suitably long thinking time.

But that's often a real world vs academia argument.

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Are bearded blokes more sexist?

MonkeyCee
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Beard goodness

I'm very much of the "hate shaving" camp. So I don't so much grow a beard as not shave it, and it's what happens. No-one asks if I'm growing the grass, they just assume I'm a lazy fucker who doesn't want to mow his lawn. Same theory for beard. Actually, same for long hair....

After 10+ years of shaving between once and four times a day (or being asked if I was sporting designer stubble) it's just a hell of a lot less faff. Plus beard is a lot nicer on skin of those who get close enough. The looking less baby faced helps too.

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Chilling evidence emerges of Kilocat weapon

MonkeyCee
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Re: Suicide Bomber Bats

All brilliant chemists are batshit crazy.

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BOFH: If you liked it then you should've put the internet in it

MonkeyCee
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On the wags

I bet fifty on the wags.

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Hey, tech industry, have you noticed Amazon in the rearview?

MonkeyCee
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Re: Careful...

Surely ask the miners?

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Lotto 'jackpot fix' code

MonkeyCee
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Re: is hard to rig

That's US in general or specific areas? I know Chicago is renowned for it's zombie turnouts come election day, curious as to which other dodgy areas.

UK has similar issues with some boroughs, although it seems to be one where both parties are guilty as sin.

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MonkeyCee
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Re: Way off topic - lottery in general?

Tell her if she's going to gamble, do it properly, or just spend the money on something you like.

Lottery odds are awful compared to pretty much any bet you can lay at a bookies, scratchies even worse.

At least poker or sports betting involves some small amount of skill, allows you to "put your money where your mouth is" and you win at much higher rates, with massively higher returns.

You'll still generally lose your money :)

I've always managed to win* money from casinos, and know a few professional gamblers, so if you have an effective system and stick to it, you can even come out ahead. None of them bet on sports that they actually liked (rugby league, sumo and tennis) but had a very good understanding of the stats, and where quite unemotional about how they bet.

In NZ, I'd always bet against the ABs**, and mostly won the bets.

*per session, I'd always leave when I was up, and ~80% of the time my winnings where less than $5/hour of playtime.

** usually a spread bet, so not that they would lose, but they would win by less than 20.

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GCHQ is having problems meeting Osborne's 2020 recruitment target

MonkeyCee
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Re: GCHQ is having problems meeting recruitment targets.

"GCHQ is having problems meeting recruitment targets because no one wants to work for a third rate bunch of crypto fascists."

FTFY

GCHQ can't offer the best money or best opportunities out of the intelligence agencies, let alone private sector.

A US based "get out of jail free" card is probably of more use than a UK one.

One presumes also that a highly competent engineer with a deep love of their country would be better off serving the intelligence agencies whilst working at Slurpygooglebook.

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That naked picture on my PC? Not mine. The IT guy put it there

MonkeyCee
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Re: Another reason...

"Not to mention having to replace your suspiciously stained keyboard that suddenly stopped working."

Power supplies coated with "candle wax".

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MonkeyCee
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Re: Another reason...

Not sure how you interpreted it as petty and vindictive, since both the stories involve:

a) IT finding something that could get the user fired

b) IT not reporting the user, but advising them to knock it off

c) User then blames IT for said sacking offence

d) IT then reports user

Seems like the user is being vindictive here. Since watching porn at work seems to be OK by you, then imagine if it where say evidence of embezzlement that IT found.

Can't really see any outrage, the superiority stuff is probably just people with common sense wondering why the hell someone would do their porn browsing at work (where it can get you fired) versus at home, or other private location. Or maybe it's just satisfaction at the fate befalling managers who are too lazy or dumb to use their own kit.

As for "I'm better than you" it's less about covering tracks and more about work is for doing work. If I want to read my My Little Pony slash then I can do it on my own time, on my own device.

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We bet your firm doesn't stick to half of these 10 top IT admin tips

MonkeyCee
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Mischief is often gravity based, and is thus faster than light.

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Sir Clive Sinclair in tech tin-rattle triumph

MonkeyCee
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Re: Elite

Wait until you tell them how the system names where stored :)

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Bloaty banking app? There's a good chance it was written in Britain

MonkeyCee
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"172 applications written primarily in Java-EE, 156 in COBOL, 19 in JSP, 16 in .NET, 15 in Oracle Server, 12 in PL1, and 42 written in other languages such as C/C++, Delphi, Pacbase, C#, PL/SQL, etc"

So learn Java and COBOL is the career plan?

Anyone recommend a good place to start for COBOL, above and beyond what google will do? :)

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Your pointy-haired boss 'bought a cloud' with his credit card. Now what?

MonkeyCee
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It's also why cost estimates vary wildly.

I've seen waaaay to many external bids that include the cost of integration, support and user training as nil. The internal bid includes an estimate for time/wage costs for installation, integration and training. Turns out these things are quite expensive, often running to multiple times the purchase cost in the first couple of years, internal bids are bad.

Then after selecting the external bid, all the extra costs end up on the IT department. Who then get pressured to make cost savings, and some meathead will find another service to outsource. Rinse, lather, repeat.

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MonkeyCee
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Re: Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it

So the BYOD strategy is working out fine :)

Other than the RAM being a bit skimpy, and a poorly configured AV, I'd have thought that not much was wrong with the 5 year old laptops. Well, new batteries if they've been used.

Having McAfee as the standard AV doesn't bode well tho for sensible IT purchases :)

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MonkeyCee
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Re: Missing the real point

"Well external IT suppliers need to be regulated, whereas your own IT department answers only to the needs of your business."

Isn't it more the case that external providers have a contract, and you get everything in that contract and nothing else, whereas internal IT has to respond to any and all requests at all levels of approval and sanity. Plus if IT says "x is possible" they'll be held to it, whereas if external group says "x is possible, it'll cost y"

For a comparable case, if I'm consulting for a company, and some PHB wants me to do a task he should really give to his own minions, as long as I get paid (and it's legal) I'll do it. Data entry at $200 per hour? Sure thing. Fix your shitty formatting? Why sure, just sign off here. Sure, there's a bit of a stink when they realise their management by dumping shit elsewhere doesn't work so well when they have to pay for it, but the PHB has to own up to it at some point.

If I'm working as an employee, I'd tell them to fark off and have their staff do it, as there is not a simple way to "back charge" the PHB. And I'll get in shit for taking on tasks that should be someone else's problem. So then rather than the "fly tipping" PHB being the problem, you are for not saying "no".

So a lot can depend on the decision the IT department is making is going to set a precedent, or is a one off. Or is the start in a long series of one offs...

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MonkeyCee
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Re: Missing the real point

If your start point is "current IT systems are failing to meet requirements" then yes, obviously IT will be part of the problem. Often it's more a manglement issue, with the symptoms visible in IT, but you may find similar bollocks exists in other areas of the business.

Since you're at the stage where you're solving your work issues yourself, and have your own dev team, I'm a little at a loss why this is an issue. You can do your job currently (presumably making trades) and you already have the tools for it. You'd like nicer tools, that do some of the dull but vital parts of your job, and you've employed people to build them for you. But the issue is that IT weren't prepared to build them for you?

My guess would be (assuming decision makers know the issues) is that there is a suitably slow and comprehensive update planned to solve all these issues, but telling the troops about this is a Bad Idea, and since no-ones bothered to get input from them, it's also going to have a bunch of problems, Which is why it's delayed, and other options to address it are given a "no".

My advice would be:

- document all the change requests, detailed plans and suggestions, along with examples of currently produced solutions.

- show the business case for doing things your way (follow the money etc)

- get some feedback, especially from the hostile groups. That's when you'll (hopefully) discover the real reasons why you've been getting denied

If you've really got things the way you say, then take complete ownership of the systems from IT. Including all support, running costs, and risk coverage.

Just a general comment on traders (which I presume you are). Since they are time and results focused, traders often overlook (or deliberately avoid) anything that can slow them down or stop a trade. This almost always ends up with them getting very close to the line of legality or other complete failure risk. It's also why traders usually hate Risk and Compliance, since all we (appear) to do is shit on perfectly good deals, since no trader believes* they are making bad deals. Having traders who can get around certain checks and balances has led to a number of high profile, and many low profile bankruptcys of firms that should have been rock solid.

I'd presume you where one of the good 'uns, that you're not trying anything dodgy, but it's very hard (from the IT/Risk management perspective) to prevent "tactical" IT solutions from circumventing the strategic ones.

I wouldn't downvote you tho. Even the basic details you've given indicate that a cloud based solution would either be so massivly specialised it wouldn't really count as cloud (maybe hybrid cloud), or someone is telling a pile of porkies to get what they want. Well, more porkies than usual

* or they believe they can pull themselves out of the hole before anyone notices

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Microsoft's bigoted teen bot flirts with illegali-Tay in brief comeback

MonkeyCee
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Re: AS is born

That's why I'm studying Ai in Maastricht :)

Dutch ftw :D

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Here's a great idea: Let's make a gun that looks like a mobile phone

MonkeyCee
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Re: "Absolutely no one can make sense of the United States' infatuation with firearms."

Just to be clear, you are advocating handguns as tools for farmers here?

Guns are not illegal in the UK, despite the bollocks issuing from the mouths of certain cretins. Pistols are, with the exceptions of the military, police and veterinarians. Shotguns and rifles are not "freely" available, but I'd be shocked if most farms didn't have a couple of work guns.

Long guns can totally be a useful tool. Even semi/full auto can have some justification, and deciding when something is a rifle versus an assault rifle does get into the range of the silly (does it have a bayonet lug etc). Same as a rifle that can kill a goat could count as a "sniper rifle".

But other than people who are carrying with the intention of shooting another person (this includes the police), what use is a hand gun for dealing with dangerous pests, over and above say a stick?

The issue that you are ignoring is that the US's northern neighbor has many of the same issues for farmers, also has large areas suitable for hunting, and has similar gun ownership rates, has a much lower rate of deaths by gunshot. It's similar in other countries (Finland, Switzerland), but the US and Canada are more similar in various other terms.

Handguns are the big killer, and that will not be dealt with currently.

I generally like Americans. Not so hot on the actions of the federal government, but I gather that is also something many American's agree on too :)

In fact I like American's so much that I think it would be nice if they didn't kill each other as much. At least with guns. Stick with killing each other with cars, and themselves with opiates ;)

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