* Posts by Rosie Davies

89 posts • joined 10 Apr 2013

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Google kills AdWords!

Rosie Davies

Explanation

Thank you for noticing the bold, almost child-like palette used in the new logo. It is indeed meant to remind us of our younger days, when everything was new, fresh and exciting. Like Google's new ads service!

The use of two converging lines suggests the many seemingly divergent streams that your customers follow across the web will coalesce to bring you Bigger Unexpected Google Generated Exceptional Retailing Ascendancy Lifted Levels. The use of gentle curves expresses that the subtle art of persuasion as opposed to the sharp forcefulness of compulsion will drive your business to the next level.

And after all that, erm, fertile language; I think I need a shower. Several before I even begin to feel clean.

Rosie

Hip hop-eration: Hopless Franken-beer will bring you hoppiness

Rosie Davies

Hops?

I've been making beer without hops for years. There's a fair few recipes here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Sacred-Herbal-Healing-Beers-Fermentation/dp/0937381667 (which is every bit as woo-woo as the title suggests but the recipes are fun). I've also made a really good summer beer (light and refreshing) using Mugwort and lemon for flavouring. Hops were approved of because some of the other ingredients used for flavouring had some interesting* effects on the drinker whereas hops tended to calm them down. Not sure about that last bit mind (even if I have read it from multiple sources), Friday nights in most towns suggest that people will still get rowdy despite the hops.

* For a given definition of interesting

UK mobile customers face inflation-busting price hike

Rosie Davies

Re: Abuse

Last time I bothered to check I was paying £10/month (somewhere around $14/month). That gives me 1GB of data (I mostly use WiFi so that's plenty), unlimited texts and 600 minutes talk time a month (I'm an unsociable moo so rarely get anywhere near that).

It looks as though those figures compare at least reasonably with the ones you quoted.

Rosie

Ten new tech terms I learnt this summer: Do you know them all?

Rosie Davies

Re: Sublimated Ear and Gaseous Elbow.

I was impressed at the self-restraint that prevented Gaseous Arse not being used instead.

Rosie

Q. What's today's top language? A. Python... no, wait, Java... no, C

Rosie Davies

On Another Note

I'm not going to get involved in a 'my language is better than your language' discussion; I've got the battle scars from too many of those already.

What did strike me as a bit strange was characterising a professional institute with a royal charter as "a technical advocacy organization". I wonder if that doesn't sell them a little short. Mad Bob the technology yogi is a technical advocacy organisation, albeit not for any technology that exists, and I'm not sure that's really comparable.

Rosie

UK.gov snaps on rubber gloves, prepares for mandatory porn checks

Rosie Davies

Just Guessing

But based on what a devious little whatnot of a teenager I was. I'd expect this will just result in the details of Mum's/Dad's/Granny's credit card being circulated all around the playground and suddenly Maud, 94, has developed all kinds of new and unexpected interests.

Rosie

Microsoft boasted it had rebuilt Skype 'from the ground up'. Instead, it should have buried it

Rosie Davies

+1 for mentioning Visio.

I used to love using it WAY back before Microsoft got their hands on it (yes, I'm old. Why do you ask?). Now I cringe ever time I have to go near it.

K.I.S.S is everything.

Rosie

What a tit! Uber CEO hijacks his staff breast-pump room to meditate

Rosie Davies

Re: El reg - the daily mail of tech

The Daily MAIL? My word this wonderful rag has gone up in the world. I remember when it barely aspired to the level of the Daily Sport.

Rosie

First-day-on-the-job dev: I accidentally nuked production database, was instantly fired

Rosie Davies

Nearly No-one

Who has:

- Ultimate responsibility for ensuring all documentation is correct?

- Ultimate responsibility for ensuring back-up work (including testing regime)?

In both cases it's the CTO's job.

If the tale had stopped before it got to the bit about the new chap being fired I'd have gone with "No-one, it was a wake-up call for everyone." Even C level folks are only human. Things can get over-looked; over-reliance on assurances from the management chain can combine with a monstrous workload to help this along.

But it didn't stop there. The actions of the CTO tend to suggest someone lacking the emotional maturity, willingness to take personal responsibility and with the primary desire of covering their own behinds at all cost to ever be trusted with that responsibility.

Rosie

UK hospital meltdown after ransomware worm uses NSA vuln to raid IT

Rosie Davies

This is the UK. We don't have the construct of first degree murder. I feel it might be quite challenging to prove that $whatever was released specifically to kill, which is what you'd need for a pre-meditated murder conviction (UK's equivalent of first degree) but causing death by being a silly bugger (AKA manslaughter) would be more likely to succeed.

Nope, I'm not a lawyer nor do I work for the police. I just work in IT so take an interest for...ummm...idle curiosity. Yes, that's it. Definitely that.

Rosie

Not the droids you're looking for – worst handsets to resell

Rosie Davies

Why Does This Matter?

I'm not really sure I understand why this is important. Who sells their phone after only one month? Even six months doesn't make a great deal of sense to me. I've still got the same HTC M8 that I got Gods only know how long ago. OK so it's got LineageOS on it so I get the weekly updates but it's still working perfectly well. Doesn't freeze up, UI responds speedily enough and the battery is easily good for a day and a half of normal usage. I've not seen anything on a new phone that's making me think "oh yes, must have that" so why do I care that it's worth pennies to the pound on what I paid for it?

Fingers crossed the next device will be a Gemini (assuming they get the thing out the door). A proper, useful keyboard on a phone would be a wonderful thing to have; and I'll probably hang on to that until the heat death of the Sun.

Rosie

Who really gives a toss if it's agile or not?

Rosie Davies

Re: Limits of pragmatism

Oh very well done! I think that may win the prize for the most tangential insertion of the UK leaving the EU I've yet seen.

Looks, I understand you're upset. There are a lot on this side of the channel who feel the same way. I also understand the anger and abuse but you need to move past that. You might want to think about seeing a counsellor if it continues to affect you in this way.

Back on thread.

I quite like the idea of thinking of projects in terms of size/complexity (first came across this from the Robertson's categorisation of rabbit, horse and elephant). If you've few stakeholders and can turn on a sixpence then you're in a rabbit project and agile is great. If there are multiple stakeholders (especially if they're in different organisations), heavy regulatory frameworks and generally need to be pointed in the right direction then you're you're in a elephant project and waterfall/Bohm is probably a better fit.

Horses for courses (to continue the animal theme). This project has all the hallmarks of an elephant so it looks as though the rabbits have been crushed underfoot.

Rosie

It's happening! It's happening! W3C erects DRM as web standard

Rosie Davies

Re: chris121254 - "improve online privacy"

I don't know about coffee makers but did spot this article about farm machinery a few days ago: https://www.cnet.com/roadshow/news/farmers-using-hacked-firmware-to-bypass-john-deeres-software-stranglehold/. I'll be honest; I've not done any more research than read that article. It could be complete nonsense but is certainly in line with the 'design something that can only be removed with Ultra-Expensive Dealer-Only Doohickey Mk III' that already goes on.

Rosie

Fitbit hit on Pebble kit cost just 20 million quid? Oh s**t!

Rosie Davies

LineageOS

You can do all that sort of thing on a droid as well. Certainly if you're running LineageOS (the phoenix arisen type version of Cyanogenmod).

Plus no phone vendor/network installed nonsense that drains the battery and doesn't do anything useful. Seems stable enough on an old M8 I've had for about 4 years, I sometimes need to reboot because the wifi gets a tad confuddled. It seems to be getting better with each weekly release as well.

So I don't think the Android spying on you problem is necessarily and Android problem, more a problem to some implementations of Android. You have a choice which implementation of Android you use, which you won't get with an iPhone. Though I understand that for some the lack of choice is a Good Thing(tm), I'm a stroppy mare who doesn't like being told what to do. Certainly not by a computer.

Which is why I keep a bucket of salty water handy at all times.

Regards,

European Space Agency slaps CC licences on its pics and vids

Rosie Davies

"...a bunch of..."

Shudder, squirm, ick.

Horrible, horrible language.

Rosie

New Royal Navy Wildcat helicopters can't transmit vital data

Rosie Davies

Re: WTF?

Tsk, tsk, tsk and there was me thinking that is was the global crash triggered by the sub-prime lending racket in the US that threw a spanner in the works. What a silly girl I must be.

Rosie

Fear not, Europe's Privacy Shield is Trump-proof – ex-FTC bigwig

Rosie Davies
Thumb Up

Re: Oh great

Have an upvote, simply for "festering bunghole of a fascist banana republic". Regardless of whether I agree or not the sentiment was wonderfully expressed.

Rosie

GDS chap: UK.gov is better off on public cloud than its own purpose-built network

Rosie Davies

Re: Out of US control

I'd imagine 5-eyes would allow access to pretty much anything that most government departments do - certainly anything that's likely to end up on a public cloud. And if 5 eyes doesn't cover it then it was never accessible via the internet anyway.

Rosie

Trumping free trade: Say 'King of Bankruptcy' Ross does end up in charge of US commerce

Rosie Davies

Umm...

I could be wrong but I feel that you are taking the article to be far more factual than it is or was meant to be. Lots of truthiness and a dash of sarcasm and a large dollop of satire.

If it turns out you're right though then yes. What you just said.

Rosie

RIP HPE's The Machine product, 2014-2016: We hardly knew ye

Rosie Davies

Re: Driving Innovation to Product

That seems a little harsh. It appears the HP were approaching The Machine as a test bed for a variety of different approaches rather than an end in itself, which seems sensible enough, prototypes and all that.

Hopefully some of what's been found out will turn out to be useful and find it's way into boxes that can be bought. HP used to be good at that sort of thing.

Rosie

More Androids carry phone-home firmware

Rosie Davies

The community version seems to be healthy enough. I thought it was only the commercial version that was having a wobble?

Rosie

Security bods find Android phoning home. Home being China

Rosie Davies

Re: Here you go, girly will help you

REAL* sysadmins do not use the command line. Real sysadmins sense the route taken from the spin of the photons flowing throughthe fibre.

Rosie

*Robotically Enhanced Advanced Lifeforms for those at the back of the class. Yes Smithers, I'm talking to you.

Top of the bots: This AI isn't a cold, cruel killing machine – it's a pop music hit machine

Rosie Davies

New Hell

Welcome to Purgatory 2.0. Your afterlife will be spent listening to AI generated slight variations on the songs of $insert_artist_here.

Forever.

Rosie

Going! going! pwned? 200! million! Yahoo! logins! leaked! allegedly!

Rosie Davies

Re: Meanwhile....

"It's private money. If the shareholders are stupid enough to give it away, it is literally in every sense their problem."

Sort of. Though pension funds and other large institutional investors like to invest in large companies such as Yahoo.Which could mean there's a chance that your pension is a few pennies a year lower because MM has been given a huge payout for driving a company into the ground.

I theory you could find out and someone'll make the argument that it's your fault for not being aware of every single investment made by every single fund manager in every single account that you have. TBH I'd question the sanity of that argument.

Rosie

Apple Watch craze over before it started: Wrist-puter drags market screaming off a cliff

Rosie Davies

Re: Really? I mean really?

+1 for the Pebble mention.

I got a Pebble Time Round about 6 months ago. Mostly because shiny but also because shiny. It's a lot more useful that I thought it would be and the 1 1/2 - 2 day charge period isn't really a problem - I'm generally near USB socket anyway.

Plus, it looks like a watch and not some hideous, pustular blister growing out your wrist.

Rosie

Tesla whacks guardrail in Montana, driver blames autopilot

Rosie Davies

Re: ... assist ...

So does "...that the bloke in the driver's seat is responsible..." mean that I can never be held responsible for anything that happens whilst I am driving a car? Because, not bloke y'see. I'm very much hoping this is the case as I have a list of names...

Rosie

Are bearded blokes more sexist?

Rosie Davies

MISOGNY!

I note that neither piece of 'research' has gathered the views of bearded ladies. Once again hirsute ladies are ignored in a blatantly sexist attempt to sideline those who don't conform to the narrow parameters of conventional beauty.

I shall be writing to the Gaurdinnan!

Rosie

P.S. no, I am not a bearded lady but that doesn't mean I don't have the right to get offended on their behalf and act as a spokesperson for their community.

Humans get 'aroused' fondling robots in their private areas – study

Rosie Davies

Re: Obligatory Futurama reference

I was thinking more along the lines of "kiss my shiny, metal..." myself.

Rosie

Gov to take axe to big IT contracts soon, will hand chunks to SMEs

Rosie Davies

Re: "No one knows exactly how much money is spent on IT across the public sectors"

We don't do cents here in the UK, we do pennies. We dropped the shillings a while ago though mostly for the look of things as we felt we needed to keep the pound.

Given the amount of petty empire building, silo based working and rigidly enforced boundaries between departments I'm not at all surprised that nothing is properly measured nor likely to be properly measured in the near future. The upside is that it saves us from a viciously efficient government, the downside that we haven't the faintest how much anything costs other than "too much".

Rosie

Spanish cops discover illegally parked flying car

Rosie Davies

Re: Rag Week?

I've lost count of the number if times I've heard either this story or one very, very like it. I wonder whether it's one of those urban legend things or whether people have a supernatural ability to detect a car carrying rugby players and know they should double park there to ensure the story's survival.

And if the latter wouldn't that make the story some kind of parasite preying off the suggestibility of the puny humans?

Rosie.

US DoJ files motion to compel Apple to obey FBI iPhone crack order

Rosie Davies

Honest Question

Because I don't know a huge amount about the workings of an iPhone. What would stop someone ghosting the storage of the phone? If that's possible then why would you not load the image into a phone emulator and try the 10(?) combinations before the ghost wiped itself then reload the image into an emulator, try the next 10...you get the idea. I'm guessing there's something that would stop that being possible because if I thought of it then I'm sure some clever whatnot in the FBI could and all the forcing Apple to do something would be about something entirely different from getting hold of the information.

Rosie

No, Agile does not 'equal' DevOps: Examining complexity and the long haul

Rosie Davies

Re: Microservices, the new DCOM/CORBA/JavaBeans components...

*> I really wonder if this stuff will work better...

It will. At least it will initially. Then it'll start running into complex interactions between components some of which belong to a third party that is supporting 100 other consumers most of which are richer than you, others that are no longer being actively developed and some in a language so old that everyone's forgotten it's name and the last compiler update is 20 years ago and full of bugs^W known issues.

Then there will be a lot of arguments, conferences will be held, books will be published. There will probably be religious wars, there usually are. Then best practice will emerge and it'll be possible to get useful work done in a reasonable time-frame with wanting to chew your own fingers off in frustration.

Then someone will start complaining about how it isn't 'docile' enough and it'll all start up again...

Rosie

Rebels defeat the Empire (again) by giving BB-8 an API

Rosie Davies

More H2G2 than SW

Sorry but that sounds more like your plastic pal who's fun to be with than plucky droid saves universe.

Rosie

Paris, jihadis, tech giants ... What is David Cameron's speechwriter banging on about now?

Rosie Davies

Re: If this was politically inspired, then it's backfired spectacularly

"And yes, Rik Myslevsky, they really are right wing, as opposed to Reg commentards who seem to be mainly left."

Splutter! Really? El Reg's commentards are generally a pretty anarchic bunch though the general tone of the politics is substantially to the right of where I sit. But then again I am _properly_ left wing, not this light weight left wing "I'm so radical I've grown a Stalin beard" nonsense.

Rosie

Official Spokesperson for the People's Free Liberation Army of El Reg, NOT the Free People's Army of El Reg - who are slackers.

Aussies' distinctive Strine down to drunk forefathers

Rosie Davies

"... behind even Welsh"

What you mean like the Welsh accent of Richard Burton? It's all personal preference and all that but I'd have problems thinking of any accent sexier than that.

Rosie

Ex-Microsoft craft ale buffs rattle tankard for desktop brewery

Rosie Davies

Re: If you buy one, you deserve to drink the stuff

Agreed.

Mind you I just don't get it. Most of the fun with brewing is mixing up selections of malts and hops, mucking about with mashing temperatures and boil times/hop addition rates and the bazillion other alchemical variables that go into producing a decent beer. Drinking the result is just a bonus.

Some if you take away all the fun bits then what's the point in brewing? You may as well pop down the offie and get your gratification even more instantly and with even less effort.

Rosie

Heigh ho, oh no! Politically correct panto dumps Snow White’s dwarfs

Rosie Davies

Re: Bloody Fools

"If Mr Davis is happy with the proper title, then that's good enough for me."

This, which pretty much captures the whole reason that this decision is problematic.

With any term that may or may not be abusive and lead to an allegation of having one of the -isms or -phobias it is not up to anyone other than the presumed target of the offense to decide whether it is insulting or not. Anything else is suggesting that the presumed target population is unable to think for themselves and needs to be told what they disapprove of by someone who knows best. Which is possibly a little patronising?

Rosie

Boffins build magnetic field cloak 'wormhole', could help MRI scanners

Rosie Davies

Wikipedia would tend to disagree about there being no such thing as real meta-materials: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metamaterial

The first few words of the article "Scientists have created..." point towards something real having been built rather than a number of funky equations involving the vital <magic happens here> step.

Rosie

Don't touch this! Seven types of open source to dance away from

Rosie Davies

Re: Long-term stewardship

Yeah I am late to the party, fashionably so I like to think. Picking on an organisation firmly grounded in the whale song and dream catchers like the IET say, they have a vision statement here: http://www.theiet.in/vision. A bit of snippage from the values section: "We treat everyone with integrity and respect". A quick Google for define:respect gets a list which includes "due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others". Whilst it's not quite the same as empathy, I'd venture to suggest that it's near enough in intent.

All the professional codes of conduct that I've read, either for an employer or a professional organisation have something similar in them. I feel this suggests that the complaints about the behaviour were due to it being unprofessional rather that not-PC. Though TBH the response does seem a bit heavy handed but people seem to be a bit overly keen on damning someone to hell before understanding their motivations fully. Which also sounds like a lack of empathy.

Ho-hum.

Rosie

El Reg merch tentacle mulls retro LOHAN T-shirt

Rosie Davies

Tidy, but...Is there any danger of having ladies fit t-shirts available? 'Cause, y'know, I'm not really rectangular.

Rosie

That's a big 4Ker of a cosmos: 3D planetarium to open in Bristol

Rosie Davies

"Software Defined Programmable City" - that's a gert lush set of words that is. I am looking forward to see what happens to it when it makes contact with St Paul's. And Southmead. And Hartcliffe.

Rosie

BBC gives naked computers to kids (hmm, code for something?)

Rosie Davies

Hiya Dominic,

thank you for taking the time to reply. I don't really want to get into a shouting match, mainly because I am not a naturally a very shouty person, but...

I wonder why you think it won't work? As I said, it worked for me. I started on a VIC-20, progressed through a bare-bones Z80A based board that considered assembly a high-level language, can program in about a dozen different languages and now design large, complex systems for a living. Looking around me I see women who create performance test scripts and provide the analysis of where, and why systems aren't working as expected, manage (at various levels) other areas of test. A friend of mine (a woman) is studying for a Ph.D in particle physics and, until recently, worked at CERN.

Certainly in my case a deciding factor was that I was brought up without any expectations of what I should or shouldn't be interested in. Dad was an Engineer and encouraged all of us to build 'stuff' and certainly wouldn't have accepted "because I'm a girl, lol <rolls eyes>" as an excuse for not doing well in Maths or sciences. That's the bit about the comment in the article that prodded my grump button. It appears to suggest than unless you make it pretty girls won't be interested in it, which is a bit condescending really.

So far as girls saying "that's too hard"; those are the exact words that came out of my son's mouth when I asked why he was giving up Maths. Though I tend to put it down to a low-key form of teenage rebellion, especially as he started studying the classics and philosophy instead.

Rosie

Rosie Davies

"Girls seem to like it, some seeing the Micro Bit as an opportunity to create a kind of smart jewellery through code. Given that every single attempt to get them to program has utterly failed, this is really worth trying."

COUGH!

Yes, that would certainly be one approach that could be tried. Or you _could_ give then free reign to something really basic like, say, a VIC-20, the getting started tutorials and the detailed reference guide then leave them to it. It worked for me.

Rosie

Inside GOV.UK: 'Chaos' and 'nightmare' as trendy Cabinet Office wrecked govt websites

Rosie Davies

I could have measured my "time to cerebral alignment" metric (or understanding WTF the form was about) but they have a feedback link! Happy joy for the feedback link. Everyone should use the feedback link, especially whilst channelling James Joyce.

Disgusted of Middlesex.

SpaceX ROCKET HOVER-SHIP space station mission now on Friday

Rosie Davies

Re: What's that in real money?

Is that the pre-1890 Olympic standard badger or the lighter, modern badger?

Rosie.

P.S. Mornington Crescent.

Rosie Davies

5,200lbs? What's that in real money? SI or official Reg units would do, just not this pre-medieval nonsense.

Rosie

Islamic script kiddies aim killer blow - at Bristol bus timetable website

Rosie Davies

But it's Brizzle. The timetables are essentially only for (very poor) comedy value anyway and no-one's really that fussed. It's the South West by here, not some madhouse where people measure time by the minute rather than the day of the week like normal people do.

Rosie

Human DNA 'will be found on moon' – Brian Cox

Rosie Davies

I am glad I am not the only one who feels an urge towards violence whenever they hear Brian Cox. I am a bit more generous with my violence though and would willingly share it with the irritating one.

Microsoft snorefest: For crying out loud, Nadella – just channel Ballmer!

Rosie Davies

Re: "They gave us windows 8"

I think you might find that sentence qualifies as sarcasm. El Reg, being British, does quite a bit of sarcasm.

Rosie

Doctor Who and the Dalek: 10-year-old tests BBC programming game

Rosie Davies

Re: FORWARD 20; LEFT 90; BEEP

Same story for an 8 year old girl. Though obviously the results would be more efficient, better designed and with less random bits hanging off because waiting for the glue to dry was BOR-ing!*

Rosie

*yes I know, I am a horrible, sexist sow.

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