* Posts by EssEll

71 posts • joined 26 Mar 2013

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That EVIL TEXT that will CRASH your iPhone: We pop the hood

EssEll
Black Helicopters

You forgot your icon.

Fixed it for you.

EssEll
Meh

ERROR

GIVEASH1T module failed to load: closing dooowwwwnnnnnnnnn....

But seriously: I do genuinely admire the quality of the article and the effort to which the author has gone to verify this issue, so kudos for that. The fact that the issue itself is not that big a deal is why I don't really give a stuff.

Mildly successful flying car crashes - in mildly successful test flight

EssEll

I love the irony...

...that a flying car failing to fly is filed under "Cloud"....

The data centre design that lets you cool down – and save electrons

EssEll

Re: Just wondering

"no, 12-15KW/rack is no problem with air."

Before I cough and splutter and shout BOLLOCKS, would you care to explain how? I would agree with the 7kW, although my org uses about 5/rack. I've got a customer who only wants 3kW/rack, and they are a PITA.

So your ability to shift up to 15kW of heat out of a rack using just airflow is very, very interesting.

Wanna quote tweets without manual faff? HAVE AT IT, sez Twitter

EssEll

Re: Other things to fix

I'm not saying anything about how far back to load, they already pick a random number of tweets to load anyway. All I'm saying is that instead of going right to the top of the selection of tweets they load, stay at the bottom and let me work up.

EssEll
Flame

Other things to fix

I think it looks OK, but when in God's name are they going to start loading tweets from the bottom up, FFS? I hate having to scroll back through dozens of tweets to get to the start of a conversation.

/rant

LaCie snuggles up to Apple’s slim 12-inch MacBook with fat HDD

EssEll

And another thing...

LaCie have probably the WORST customer service it has ever been my displeasure to try to navigate. I have a 2-BIG network RAID drive that's gathering dust because I can't get these feckers to respond to emails, calls, faxes or carrier pigeons (ok, maybe I didn't try carrier pigeon).

Apple Watch: Wait a minute! This puny wrist-puter costs 17 GRAND?!

EssEll

What's that sound?

You can almost feel the panic coming from Apple...

"OK, OK...we reinvented the mobile phone and blazed a trail with the tablet. What next? Guys?...GUYS?!"

...

"....uhhh...an iWatch?"

"BRILLIANT!"

Can I hear the sound of barrels being scraped?

Sales of HP notebooks and servers are UP! And that's all the good news

EssEll

Interesting

If one were being very cynical, one would say that the reason HP are splitting into two companies - one aimed at the Enterprise, and one at the personal / printing world - is so they can put one high performing division in each company, making each company look better than the sum of the whole.

It's a good job one isn't cynical.

$1.6bn VMware defence deal challenged by AWS, Citrix and Nutanix

EssEll

Same old, same old

One company wins big contract, competitors don't like it.

In related news, water is wet and fire is hot.

Google strongly opposes plans to let ANY US COURT authorise digi-snoops

EssEll

But you just need to look at the status of extradition treaties between the UK and the US to know that it's one law for them and one law for everyone else.

If someone conducted a cyber attack against the US, they're so damn trigger happy they'd probably treat it as an act of war.

NetApp: Don’t know about the hybrid cloud? Then you’re a dummy

EssEll

Re: The cloud...

Don't worry. I tried to explain some benefits of cloud in another post and got downvoted. Genuinely don't know why.

It's not the cloud: The problem lies between the chair and the computer – Gartner

EssEll

Re: I read that as.

"Very, very few businesses need a significant amount of on-demand scaling."

Every shop come Christmas time. HMRC come tax return time. Airports come the school holidays. News websites when big news breaks. Apple when they launch a new product. Etc, etc, etc...

EssEll

A cloud environment can be built either in a customer's DC or a suppliers. It can be managed from anywhere in the world - like any infrastructure.

So what new technology components make up cloud?

EssEll

Storage? - check. Servers? - check. Virtualisation layer? - check. Network? - check. Orchestration layer? - probably the newest bit.

What have I missed...?

EssEll

Re: I read that as.

The key benefits of cloud (if it's implemented right) are around on-demand scaling and cost transparency. It's not a new technology; very few of the bits under the hood are new, technically speaking. What is new is how it's used and costed.

EssEll
Holmes

To channel Homer...

....well, d'uh.

Those of us that have been trying to sell cloud solutions for years (and there's a damn site more than the tiny sample conducted here) could tell you that the single biggest blocker to cloud adoption has been CxO naivety or unrealistic expectations. However, what I think this points at is a continued failure to educate the PHBs by us that try to flog this stuff.

If we flog it properly, they will buy.

Hear that sound? It's the Windows XP PC bubble popping

EssEll

Re: Let's look at it technically

Posted anonymously. Of course.

EssEll

Re: Huh?

I think the point was that suppliers were chucking new kit into the shops to replace the retiring XP stock, but then didn't stop chucking it in when the market was re-saturated.

A bit like The Sorcerer's Apprentice. Micky Mouse version, of course...

Blighty quietly signs deal to read giant EU border control database

EssEll

Re: Why was some of this not in other databases?

"Likewise the identity document alert we should have had access to when it's checked with the country of issue"

Was that not e-Borders*?

*R.I.P.

EssEll

WT actual F?

"(in other words, witnesses)."

Feck the fecking hell out of here, and feck your cat too while you're at it. This thing stores witness information?? Remind me never to claim to be a witness to a crime.

Skin colour's irrelevant. Just hire competent folk on their merits, FFS

EssEll

Positive discrimination ...

... is still just that - discrimination. However, in some quarters it is still a cultural change to (for example) encourage organisations to recruit according to skills and merit rather than sex or colour. We need to change that mindset, which is WAY harder than changing Microsoft's hiring policy.

Enough is enough: It's time to flush Flash back to where it came from – Hell

EssEll

Yes, but...

Don't disagree with the sentiment - baggsie first in line to beat the tobacco juice out of it - but what are you going to replace it with? It's very ubiquity is the biggest hurdle here; some flash bastard (pun intended) needs to come with something new *and* get the market penetration that Flash has before Flash can be retired (with extreme prejudice, hopefully).

SDI wars: WTF is software defined infrastructure?

EssEll
Trollface

"All monitoring, backups, networking, storage configuration and so forth will simply take care of themselves"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Someone's started early on the Friday beer goggles. This is the planning equivalent of "MAGIC HAPPENS HERE". It's a fantastic dream...

DVLA website GOES TITSUP on day paper car tax discs retire

EssEll
FAIL

Re: I don't understand

Amen, brother.

Some (but not all) of the fault for this FUBAR has to be borne by the (let's be generous) 'people' who waited until the last minute before trying to renew their VED. Anyone who's been to a Post Office on the last day of any month will know not to leave it until then.

But it does look like the NFRs either weren't properly specified, or tested. Or if they were, that failings were just waived through. Take your pick, but no-one comes out of this whiter than white.

Payment security vastly improved when you DON'T ENTER your BANK DETAILS

EssEll

Re: My token of choice is bitcoin thanks.

Why is one form of online currency transaction any better than another? Answer: the banks spend millions on security and are always looking for ways to improve. They have to - security is their number one concern.

How much does bitcoin spend on security? Answer: given all the very well publicised hacks, probably WAY more than it used to. But I'll bet it's still a fraction of what a bank spends.

EssEll

Re: My token of choice is bitcoin thanks.

And bitcoin's a secure and stable currency is it?

Don't worry, I know the answer...

Consumers agree to give up first-born child for free Wi-Fi – survey

EssEll
Flame

Crap Ts & Cs

Endless pages of Ts & Cs piss me off no end. They need to be made more straightforward and easier to read. None of this "...nothwithstanding the provisions of Paragraph 4 subsection 2 and persuant to..." bollocks.

Where's the Plain English Campaign when you freekin' need them?

Cut-off North Sea island: Oh crap, ferry's been and gone. Need milk. SUMMON THE DRONE

EssEll
Coat

Re: They seem to have alot of grass

"...4 little moo-ters "

Fixed that for you.

NSFW: Click here, watch iPhone 6 being TORTURED

EssEll
Mushroom

Ouch

"Out of all the devices I have tortured tested, this one has definitely held up the best," the Tech Assassin rules after his torture tests are finished."

What the hell happened to the rest of them??

Range Rover to fit trendy new SUV with FRIKKIN' LASER HUDs

EssEll

Transformers!

I always think the (butt ugly) Evoque is a Transformer and is about to turn into a decent car. There's a bunch of them in our neck of the woods (South Bucks) and I always give them an extra wide berth in car parks. Their owners generally do not have a clue (huge generalism for effect purposes) so maybe these HUDs will help.

Next it will be that every Evoque comes with a free passenger to yell "You bloody moron, get out of the way!" at the driver. God knows I've yelled that at enough Evoques.

Early result from Scots indyref vote? NAW, Jimmy - it's a SCAM

EssEll

Nonononononono

"This is just as true for Scotland's independence vote as it would be for ... natural disasters"

IMHO, those two things could end up being broadly the same if there's a Yes vote.

Murdoch to Europe: Inflict MORE PAIN on Google, please

EssEll
Pint

Pot, kettle, etc

You could cut the irony with a knife. Beer for having the sheer balls to be so hypocritical.

City hidden beneath England's Stonehenge had HUMAN ABATTOIR. And a pub

EssEll
Pint

Re: 'Boffin's ... seriously

Think he's going for the record number of downvotes. I mean, I thought I had it when I said Snowden should face trial, but this guy's going large .

Beer for the effort.

Is the all-flash data centre just a tantalising dream?

EssEll

A mixed bag

"taking disk drive arrays out doesn't save a square millimetre of space; it is still there, just empty, and the air in the data centre still needs conditioning"

It may need conditioning, but that few square inches (feet or metres depending on your footprint) will not need *cooling*. And of course, taking the array away means a reduction in power which, if your racks are metered, can lead to a tangible saving.

The article headline is nonsense, but the body of it does talk sense - I expect DCs to be a mixture of SSD and spinning rust until such time as SSD costs come down. We'll see a gradual progression to SSD but also, possibly, less big SAN footprints, as the direct access to large storage volumes does away with the fibre requirement.

California blue whale numbers soar to historical levels, say boffins

EssEll
IT Angle

Ehhh..

All very interesting and life affirming, but ----------------------------------------------------->

IT jargon is absolutely REAMED with sexual double-entendres

EssEll

Re: Pegging is also called "Reverse A"

I beg to differ. A-levels and O-levels are most definitely qualifications and, like a lot of other qualifications, earn the recipient extra cash throughout their working life.

Boiling point: Tech and the perfect cuppa

EssEll
Alert

Spot the freelancer...

GCHQ protesters stick it to British spooks ... by drinking urine

EssEll
FAIL

Re: ANY photos of GCHQ staff?

Of course not. But I think you knew that.

It is all about context. Joe Blow walking into a pub in the High Street is one thing; Joe Blow wearing an ID tag and walking into GCHQ is quite another.

Further I suspect that the GCHQ canteen is good enough so that the workers are not forced to drink urine. And that GCHQ does not employ people so violently ugly that they have to wear a mask - coincidentally, the same mask as worn by the protesters.

As much as we might like to laugh at our police, I think they should be able to tell the difference.

Telecity boss directed to the exit after a decade at helm of data centre biz

EssEll
WTF?

£45,000 "outplacement counselling and assistance"

Exactly what outplacement counselling and assistance is this guy going to need? He'll walk into a new job just as soon as he wants and the (up to) £45K will get trousered while he laughs up his sleeve at the shareholders.

Something smells like week old brie...

Hollywood star Robin Williams dies of 'suspected suicide' at 63

EssEll
Happy

Re: Time to blub

Nicely put.

Oracle Database 12c's data redaction security smashed live on stage

EssEll

Spare me

So this "security specialist" is pointing out an exploit that Oracle have already said they do not address.

In related news, fire is hot and water is wet.

Simian selfie stupidity: Macaque snap sparks Wikipedia copyright row

EssEll

The Monkey Guy...

...neither knows nor cares about what he may or may not be entitled to, not being aware of very much more than where his next banana is.

FWIW, Wikipedia should be ashamed of themselves. Slater is clearly the owner of this picture and anyone who thinks otherwise is considerably dumber than the simian in question. That "anyone" in this context may include the judiciary is indicative of the quality of (some of) our judiciary, and the relevance of (some of) our laws.

EE rolls out London bus pay-by-bonk app – only fandoids need apply

EssEll

Re: Too posh for the bus?

Until the last few words I wasn't clear what method of transport you were on about as I've been coughed and wheezed on in tubes, DLR, buses, overground and while walking down the road. You're only safe in your car, but then you have damn pedestrians and cyclists* to deal with.

*Tongue in cheek. **

**Slightly.

Robot cars to hit Blighty in 2015

EssEll
Alert

Re: I have had an epiphany.

Why would one driverless car use it's lights to indicate to another driverless car? Unless it become the car's way of flirting.

Gawd, that's a frightening thought...

Scotland's BIG question: Will independence cost me my broadband?

EssEll

If it was a holiday resort to shoot rich London bankers, I'd go.

(Note to NSA/GCHQ: That was a JOKE.)

EssEll

No-one knows...

The correct and only answer to any question around Scottish independence is, "We don't know. Yet.". People seem to think that the referendum will be an end to proceedings. Far from it - a yes vote in the referendum will lead to 18 months to 2 years of discussion and negotiation. The actual date of independence (assuming a yes vote) is set for sometime in 2016.

So it's all a case of "What do we want?" "INDEPENDENCE!!" "When do we want it?" "IN TWO YEARS AFTER WE'VE FIGURED EVERYTHING OUT!!".

Huh. I'm not holding my breath.

UN to Five Eyes nations: Your mass surveillance is breaking the law

EssEll

Re: Dangerous precedent

" I have little fear of Islamic international terrorists - they have a track record of doing very little damage. National governments on the other hand have a long history of terrorising and slaughtering their populations."

Can you give me an example of where a national government has "terrorised and slaughtered their population"?

EssEll

Re: Dangerous precedent

Firstly comparing any potential trial against Snowden to the Nuremberg trials - against individuals complicit in the torture and death of millions of people - is at best questionable.

Secondly at least the Nuremberg trials actually had a trial. The individuals faced some form of justice and answered for their crimes. Snowden has had no such "opportunity".

Thirdly - I never said anything about punishing him, I pointed out that he has not faced trial.I don't care where he stands trial - it can be an international court if he feels he will not get justice in the US - but to suggest he should be completely protected from prosecution at all is just wrong.

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