* Posts by J J Carter

1350 posts • joined 1 Mar 2013

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Brains behind seL4 secure microkernel begin RISC-V chip port

J J Carter
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Easy to code too!

10 Print "Hello, Possums!"

20 Goto 10

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OK, this time it's for real: The last available IPv4 address block has gone

J J Carter
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Boffin

In the real world

Our BOFHs can't even get IPv4 subnets to link reliably between on-prem and for home workers on VPN. The chances of them understanding IPv6 is nill.

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J J Carter
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Childcatcher

I have a cunning plan

Pass a law that pr0nz sites can only be IPv6, that will force a mass migration as peeps can't do without their interweb o' filth

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Mad Leo tried to sack me over Autonomy, says top HP Inc beancounter

J J Carter
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Thumb Down

Face facts

No Briton or British Company will ever get a fair trial in the USA.

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Windows 10 Spring Creators Update team explains the hold-up: You little BSOD!

J J Carter
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Windows

Keep moving forward

Just put Nan on the Windows 10 'skip ahead' track for Redstone 5, she knows her days are numbered and wants to walk on the wild side.

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UK spy agency warns Brit telcos to flee from ZTE gear

J J Carter
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Boffin

Then again...

Cheap ZTE mobis are OK as 'burners' if you travel to Russia, China, France etc.

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Windows Admin Center: Vulture gets claws on browser-based server admin

J J Carter
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Trollface

Much cheapness

This makes server admin so easy, I'm getting in a grad to manage the lot. A grad in sociology mind, I demanded they have an 'ology.

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J J Carter
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Linux

From the desk of /dev/null

Can't install on Linux. Epic fail.

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Scotland: Get tae f**k on 10Mbps Broadband USO

J J Carter
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Help ma boab!

They have the interwebs in North Britain Who knew?

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Samsung Galaxy S9: Still the Lord of All Droids

J J Carter
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Windows

Contrarian

Just paid £150 for a new old stock Lumia 950 XL bundle, I can think of many ways to spend the £850 saved over the S9

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Hawaii Live-Go! Microsoft launches Honolulu admin tool for cloud and on-prem

J J Carter
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Re: Server management?

It was out for a few hours, peeps just worked through their Inboxes in Outlook 2016 or edited files in OneDrive for Business which synced automatically when service was restored.

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J J Carter
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Server management?

I've already moved my FTSE250 to SaaS/PaaS so we've laid-off all the BOFHs and rightly so

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It's April 2018, and we've had to sit on this Windows 10 Spring Creators Update headline for days

J J Carter
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Windows

Zzzzz

Or you could just give an overview of the last Redstone 4 build than came out on the Fast Ring for Insiders

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'Disappearing' data under ZFS on Linux sparks small swift tweak

J J Carter
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Facepalm

Woops!

The benefits of open source, many eyes! (Unless they're all watching pr0nz!)

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Microsoft Office 365 and Azure Active Directory go TITSUP*

J J Carter
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Trollface

ITIL be all right on the night

The remainiac CEO at my plc was content with the explanation that the outage was due to Brexit.

In time honored BOFH fashion as soon as services started failing, I deleted all my entries in the change log since Easter so nobody could blame me!

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J J Carter
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Facepalm

For shame!

Nan's just been on the phone in tears! The outage meant she couldn't access the recipe for pineapple upside-down cake kept on Onedrive and the Vicar had to be given shop-bought cake. Well done MSFT for embarrassing a little old lady.

Also 4,000 staff at my company have been idle.

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O2 wolfs down entire 4G spectrum as pals fiddle with their shiny 5G band

J J Carter
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Big Brother

Pipe panic

Here at GCHQ, we're sorry we have to limit everyone's internet bandwidth, but there's a limit on how many Tbps we can slurp down our pipe (Oh, matron!).

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Spring is all about new beginnings, but it could already be lights out for Windows' Fluent Design

J J Carter
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Windows

From the desk of /dev/null

If only WIndows 10 was like Linux and we could choose from a plethora of forked windows managers, each with their own set of half-finished widgets maintained only by a chap who now spends his time scouring the internet for 'deep fakes'. That is what we want!

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J J Carter
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Facepalm

Good day to you.

Generic anti-MSFT rant, promise to migrate to Linux Mint, shouting at cloud.

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Furious gunwoman opens fire at YouTube HQ, three people shot

J J Carter
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Trollface

Nutter

She should have live-streamed the shootings on YouTube and got the likes!

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Mad March Meltdown! Microsoft's patch for a patch for a patch may need another patch

J J Carter
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Boffin

Get real

Fixing Intel's hardware flaws in software was never going to be simple, perhaps impossible.

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Microsoft reinvents Massive Arrays of Idle Disks for Azure, 'cos IBM tape ain't enough

J J Carter
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Boffin

Thinking ahead

Surely the precious source code for Window 10 should be stored on punched-cards to survive the EMP waves during WWIII?

The few survivors will welcome having the seed banks buried in a Norwegian mountain and the code for Windows 10 to help them rebuild civilisation.

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Which? leads decrepit email service behind barn, single shot rings out over valley

J J Carter
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Trollface

All dead, all dead

Surprised the user-base for the service hasn't passed on by now.

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Shaking up the Nad Men: Microsoft splits up into 'cloud' and 'edge'

J J Carter
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Facepalm

For shame

Just had Nan on the phone in tears, demanding we migrate her to Linux Mint after Cortana made a smutty joke in front of the Vicar.

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Microsoft's Windows 7 Meltdown fixes from January, February made PCs MORE INSECURE

J J Carter
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Facepalm

From the desk of /dev/null

Generic anti-MSFT rant, pledge to migrate Nan to use Linux, recommend all wear tin-foil hat

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Manchester Arena attack: National Mutual Aid Telephony system failed

J J Carter
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Facepalm

Muddling through

I just hope lessons have been learned!

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El Reg deep dive: Everything you need to know about UK.gov's pr0n block

J J Carter
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Holmes

Evening all

It's peeps subscribing to a VPN service who need locking up! Can only be deranged preverts!

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What a hang up: US big box biz Best Buy kicks Huawei to the curb

J J Carter
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Trollface

Let's get real

Everything from Huawei has been front-doored by the PLA

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Five things you need to know about Microsoft's looming Windows 10 Spring Creators Update

J J Carter
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Windows

Looking forward to rolling out

"Evergreen" estate here, so will be rolling out once the automated regression testing completes on the GA build. Not expecting any issues as we've been on Insider Slow ring for months.

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Leading by example: UK.gov's secure server setup is patchy at best

J J Carter
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Pint

Bumpkins

I'm surprised computers have reached Mid Suffolk, not that they are insecure

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J J Carter
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Trollface

It's only taxpayer's money!

All those £Bs splurged by GDS and what did we get? A lot of contractors would houses in Tuscany, decent .gov websites not so much.

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Breaking up is hard to do: Airbus, new bae Google and clinging on to Microsoft's 'solutions'

J J Carter
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Facepalm

Mahoosive security breach in 3, 2, 1...

Total ‘mare. Last time we looked at G Suite users could change their own group memberships to join hangouts etc as the fancied.

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UK tech whale Micro Focus: Share price halves as CEO quits, sales slide

J J Carter
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Trollface

Oops

Sounds like Micro Focus should raise a trouble ticket on that HP Service Anywhere they bought, if they can get it to work. We can't!

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Windows 10 to force you to use Edge, even if it isn't default browser

J J Carter
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Boffin

From the desk of /dev/null

If politicians were OS, The Donald would be dodgy Windows 10 and Hillary would be lovely Linux. Mayhem would be Windows ME

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J J Carter
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Trollface

Classic.

LOL, MSFT loves to wind-up the haters!

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Airbus CIO: We dumped Microsoft Office not over cost but because Google G Suite looks sweet

J J Carter
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Re: Who's Using What?

Just another here today, gone tomorrow CEO who can only remember from his MBA that he as 100 days to move people's cheese

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J J Carter
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Windows

Courageous

I feel sad for the Airbus BOFHs left with the task of migrating and managing 130,000 G Suite users with no integration to the AD forrest, no scripts like Powershell, redumentary reporting and no support for GDPR or other compliance controls.

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Airbus ditches Microsoft, flies off to Google

J J Carter
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Boffin

Strategic blunder

You’d expect Airbus would value O365 functions such as 'bring your own key' for encryption on the cloud storage or Azure Information Protection to control document access and lifecycle. I guess such things are not kewl in the opinion of the whiz kid CEO.

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J J Carter
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Windows

Oh dear

Presumably they'll also be using Slack, since there’s no equivalent to that or MS Teams in G Suite? What a muddle!

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Patch LOSE-day: Microsoft secures servers of the world. By disconnecting them

J J Carter
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Trollface

Oh dear

Very poor practice to rely on static IPs, mostly by BOFHs who don't understand their network but it suddenly 'just worked' with static IPs. If you have to bodge, at least use DHCP giving out reserved IP addresses based on MAC address.

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It's March 2018, and your Windows PC can be pwned by a web article (well, none of OURS)

J J Carter
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Windows

Good job MSFT!

All my Windows 10 machines updated overnight no bother. Ageing BOFHs can't get the concept of "evergreen".

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Air gapping PCs won't stop data sharing thanks to sneaky speakers

J J Carter
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You are 'Q' and I claim my £5

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J J Carter
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Boffin

Pnaaaarp attack!

Just doing some research to demonstrate that a disaffected BOFH could modulate their flatulence, Le Pétomane style, to transmit Strap 4 information they can see on fetid air-gapped PC to a listening device in the room. The practical application is limited only by the robustness of their trousers and availability of beans in the GCHQ canteen.

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J J Carter
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Linux

Sorted!

Simple solution, just install Linux. The chance of there being a working driver in the distro for a soundcard produced after 2002 is vanishingly small.

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Ex-staffers slam Microsoft's 'lackluster' response to stacks of internal complaints

J J Carter
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>many people are always unhappy and bitter <

Especially wimmins when Aunt Flo is visiting!

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J J Carter
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Trollface

#metoo

Well, if the laydees don't like MSFT's attitide they can always start checking in code changes to the Linux kernel. Oh, wait...

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Finland government buys a slice of Nokia

J J Carter
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Boffin

Nationalisation by the back door?

Oh, dear. Nationalisation of telecoms company, is it? If it's like the old General Post Office, peeps can look forward to a 6 month wait before being judged worthy by Nokia of getting a party-line installed.

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Microsoft's Teams lights solitary candle, hipsters don't notice

J J Carter
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Re: My users are loving Teams!

>And what happens to all the data on the team sharepoint site when the team disbands and moves on?<

We've set an automatic deletion policy of 12 months for documents that nobody has touched. If users want stuff for ever they need to move to the record centre

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J J Carter
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Windows

My users are loving Teams!

Sorry all you MSFT haters, once you open Teams to normal users they are all over it, esp. with Teams now on Intune managed mobis.

For corporates it has the data sovereignty, auditability and eDiscovery features we need for FOI/GDPR that Slack lacks.

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Microsoft says 'majority' of Windows 10 use will be 'streamlined S mode'

J J Carter
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Linux

From the desk of /dev/null

Soon we’ll have Linux Mint S, the 'S' is for shareware.

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