* Posts by J J Carter

1506 posts • joined 1 Mar 2013

Microsoft sends a raft of Windows 10 patches out into the Windows Update ocean

J J Carter Silver badge

Re: The Ultimate Upgrade

A poor workman, blaming his tools once 1985.

US Department of Defense to fling $1.76bn at Microsoft

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Linux

For shame!

OMG! just think of how many forks of the Debian distro that sort of money could buy!

IBM insists it's not deliberately axing older staff. Internal secret docs state otherwise...

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Trollface

Nice one, cheers

Anyone now over 50 still working in IT should have made their $Ms day-trading during the .com bubble. Simples.

Just updated Windows 7? Can't access network shares? It isn't just you

J J Carter Silver badge

SMB?

Wow! The 1990s called and wants their file-sharing protocol back!

Excuse me, sir. You can't store your things there. Those 7 gigabytes are reserved for Windows 10

J J Carter Silver badge
Linux

For shame!

I remember when you could install a Linux distro and all your ASCII-art pr0n in 1GB!

Ministry of Justice abandons key plank of £280m IT project

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Pirate

It has to be said

The biggest criminals here are the System Integrators!

Attention all British .eu owners: Buy dotcom domains and prepare to sue, says UK govt

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Mushroom

FAO cheese-eaters & surrender monkeys

Apart from wondering why anyone would want a .eu domain, just another example of bad-faith and spite from Brussels. Thankfully they can stick their poxy domain where the packets don’t route on 29th March.

Fake 'U's! Phishing creeps use homebrew fonts as message ciphers to evade filters

J J Carter Silver badge
Boffin

Defence in depth

Can't rely on users to use common sense so my shoppe uses Microsoft ATP Safelinks to rewrite URLs in emails so they are checked in real time when the luser clicks on them. If Safelinks doesn't catch it, all Internet traffic is passed via ZScaler cloud proxy with filtering of d/l content. If that fails Bitlocker on Windows should block unknown .exe from running, and users login with an unprivileged account of course.

Grab a bucket and spade: Sandbox open for Insiders again with fresh Windows 10 build

J J Carter Silver badge
Childcatcher

This will be massive for Pr0n fiends!

Brilliant, just browse the dark-web from within the Sandbox container, 100% confident there's no record of what you've been looking for when the container is torn down.

(Unless it's been backdoored by NSA/PLA/CIA/MI5 etc)

Insiders! The good news: Windows 10 Sandbox is here for testing. Bad news: Microsoft has already broken it

J J Carter Silver badge
Linux

I wonder?

Can WINE host the Windows 10 Sandbox?

Nobody in China wants Apple's eye-wateringly priced iPhones, sighs CEO Tim Cook

J J Carter Silver badge
Trollface

The price is right!

I'm sure the canny Chinese buyers will be spending $75 on the "5.8inch Goophone X XS Quad Core MTK6580 1G/8G Unlocked 4G LTE 4GB 256GB with sealed box" available from DHGate

J J Carter Silver badge
Windows

He who laughs last...

Still getting plenty of use from my Microsoft Lumia 950XL 32GB with premium Moxo cases I picked up from t'Bay for £165.

Crystal ball gazers declare that Windows 10 has finally overtaken Windows 7

J J Carter Silver badge
Windows

Not surprising with corporate refresh cycles

My shoppe will complete replacement of 4,000 Windows 7 laptops with new Windows 10 machines around June.

J J Carter Silver badge

It's lept from below the noise floor to a rounding-error on the stats. W00T!

Microsoft's 2018, part 2: Azure data centres heat up and Windows 10? It burns! It burns!

J J Carter Silver badge
Windows

Yep

In my shoppe, we're loving MSFT

Microsoft's 2018, part 1: Open source, wobbly Windows and everyone's going to the cloud

J J Carter Silver badge
Windows

In the real world.

2018 was the year my shoppe rolled out 4,000 Windows 10 laptops & 4,000 Intune managed mobis putting everyone on Office 365, migrating mail, Skype and SharePoint from on-prem servers. End users happy and Teams use going to the moon.

London Gatwick Airport reopens but drone chaos perps still not found

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Big Brother

Think abouit it

30th anniversary of Lockerbie bombing and Gatwick is closed by sightings of tiny drones. Connection?

A few reasons why cops haven't immediately shot down London Gatwick airport drone menace

J J Carter Silver badge
Boffin

Got it.

Thinking outside the box here, simply require all drones to run Windows 10 and they'd crash themselves.

London's Gatwick airport suspends all flights after 'multiple' reports of drones

J J Carter Silver badge
Trollface

It has to be said!

Total chaos at British airport even *before* Brexit

On the first day of Christmas, MIPS sent to me: An open-source-ish alternative to RISC-V

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Trollface

Generic stupid comment

But will it run Crysis?

Expired cert... Really? #O2down meltdown shows we should fear bungles and bugs more than hackers

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FAIL

Churnalism

Why the lazy and tired snarky remark at The Donald?

Incoming! Microsoft unleashes more fixes for Windows 10 October 2018 Update

J J Carter Silver badge
Windows

For shame!

Windows 10 ate my hamster

Windows 10 or Cisco Advanced Malware Protection: Pick one

J J Carter Silver badge
Windows

Let's face facts.

3rd party company using undocumented OS hacks doesn't even bother to be on the Windows Insider programme to test their software on beta builds but somehow this is Microsoft's fault? Hmm...

GCHQ pushes for 'virtual crocodile clips' on chat apps – the ability to silently slip into private encrypted comms

J J Carter Silver badge

Re: Canaries...

Like AA patrol men used to salute to alert drivers to a bizzie speed trap around the corner.

J J Carter Silver badge
Big Brother

All your base belong to us.

My company uses Zscaler cloud proxy and we dropped a cert onto every PC so the SSL break/inspect doesn't cause a problem. But when you look at the info on every HTTPS session its the Zscaler cert which is shown, confirming the man in the middle is operating.

I assume end points could be compromised so that plausible certs can be inserted for any protocol using SSL/TLS, allowing transparent bresk/inspect, topped off with PAC file/DNS jiggery pockery to direct all traffic to GCHQ.

Question: How fast is the Windows 10 October 2018 Update rolling out? Answer: Not very

J J Carter Silver badge
Windows

Bad workmen blaming their tools

Running fine on my Elitebook 840 G3 and homebrew tower PC.

Technical foul: Amazon suffers data snafu days before Black Friday, emails world+dog

J J Carter Silver badge
Trollface

Nothing to worry about

They were just releasing the names and addresses of well-behaved children to Santa & his elves to ensure a pressie was left in their sock by Amazon Prime.

UK's national Airwave terminal procurement framework awarded to Motorola and Sepura

J J Carter Silver badge
Pirate

It has to be said

Any centrally negotiated contracts will flounder for the same reasons at the Police ICT Company as for its ill-fated predecessors of NPIA and PITO.

The 43 county forces will simply wait to the supplier's quarter end/year end and then negotiate a price which uses the central contract as the starting point for price. Commission driven salespeeps will always be happy to do a deal based on guaranteed units with approved funding.

NB the HO wheeze which sold off Airwave was dodgy af. Don't ask me how I know!

Microsoft confirms: We fixed Azure by turning it off and on again. PS: Office 362 is still borked

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Big Brother

GCHQ here

Would it help if we released info on a back-door to bypass MFA?

A little phishing knowledge may be a dangerous thing

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Windows

Good old MSFT!

Pretty happy with Exchange ATP Safe Links and Safe Attachments in my shoppe as one of the defences against email malware.

Azure, Office 365 go super-secure: Multi-factor auth borked in Europe, Asia, USA

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Big Brother

GDS Lead Security Architect here

What is this "MFA" of which you speak?

Microsoft menaced with GDPR mega-fines in Europe for 'large scale and covert' gathering of people's info via Office

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Windows

What are they smoking?

Can you imagine these cloggy pen-pushers trying to get a job in the real world? Oh, my sides!

Macs to Linux fans: Stop right there, Penguinista scum, that's not macOS. Go on, git outta here

J J Carter Silver badge
Linux

For Shame!

I feel the righteous rage of the 3 people who bought Apple products to run a shareware OS

The nights are drawing in. Pour a cup of cocoa and join us for Windows 10 Autumnwatch

J J Carter Silver badge
Trollface

Yep

Windows isn't done until Chrome won't run!

30 spies dead after Iran cracked CIA comms network with, er, Google search – new claim

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Big Brother

Face facts

Should have used crooked Hillary's email server, the CIA has stated that's impervious to any and all espionage attempts or she'd be in jail...

We (may) now know the real reason for that IBM takeover. A distraction for Red Hat to axe KDE

J J Carter Silver badge
Windows

Yep

The debate on Linux UIs can be so vicious because the stakes are so small.

'Privacy is a human right': Big cheese Sat-Nad lays out Microsoft's stall at Future Decoded

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Facepalm

Why is it regarded as funny to perpetually misspell his name? Surely not because he's a funny little Indian, yes please?

Concerns over cops' crap computer kit: UK MPs call for cash, capacity, command

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Joke

Thinking outside the box!

Maybe this is a task for the new head of the GDS to tackle?

"Victim of crime - report it online!"

"Abused because of race - added to our NoSQL database!"

"Loved one in a shroud - our systems are in the cloud!"

"Sexually harassed - we're agile to fail fast!"

"Hope the police will hasten - our devs are using JSON!"

etc.

J J Carter Silver badge
Boffin

It has to be said

Some will remember that when Mayhem was Home Sec, she abolished the National Policing Improvement Agency that was leading on IT renewal for the bizzies. Gesture politics at it's worst.

That said, the NPIA had largely been 'captured' by CapGem,

Chuck this on expenses: £2k iPad paints Apple as the premium fondleslab specialist – as planned

J J Carter Silver badge
Trollface

Keeping it real

After adding extra coolness with the Beats headphones purchase, maybe the iPad Pro should be co-branded with Hublot and the price increased to £3,000?

It's raining drones, but just one specimen: DJI's Matrice 200 quadcopter

J J Carter Silver badge
Trollface

It has to be said

Thankfully it's CPU pilot always heroically steers the doomed drone away from primary schools or puppies.

Memo to Mark Sedwill: Here's how to reboot government IT

J J Carter Silver badge
Boffin

Prima-donnas + spivs = GDS

>GDS remains, in name at least, the go-to expert in Whitehall.<

Nurse! My sides are splitting.

Official: IBM to gobble Red Hat for $34bn – yes, the enterprise Linux biz

This post has been deleted by a moderator

J J Carter Silver badge
Boffin

Let’s face facts.

Watson, how do you flush a good tech company down the bog?

Have it taken over by IBM.

J J Carter Silver badge
Linux

For shame.

Just had my old Nan in tears on the phone demanding that Red Hat is removed from her PC and be replaced by Windows 10.

The D in Systemd stands for 'Dammmmit!' A nasty DHCPv6 packet can pwn a vulnerable Linux box

J J Carter Silver badge
Linux

The benefits of open source.

Many eyes, but all looking at pr0n.

China tells Trump to use a Huawei phone to avoid eavesdroppers

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Big Brother

Wise move

Of course The Donald won’t use an FBI provided phone, he knows the agency is full of libtards who support Hillary.

Zip it! 3 more reasons to be glad you didn't jump on Windows 10 1809

J J Carter Silver badge
Trollface

For shame!

I'd expect the ZIP file handling bug was introduced as part of making File Explorer respect the Dark Theme setting.

Morrisons supermarket: We're taking payroll leak liability fight to UK Supreme Court

J J Carter Silver badge
Facepalm

Just another tax.

Would the Company be vicariously responsible if the same employee had gone postal as a result of the grievance. I don't think so!

Lessons learned! If an employee throws a wobbler, give them a zombie knife, not a USB stick.

Roughly 30 years after its birth at UK's Acorn Computers, RISC OS 5 is going open source

J J Carter Silver badge
Boffin

Yep

Good effort all round by Herman 'the German'

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