* Posts by J J Carter

1420 posts • joined 1 Mar 2013

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Bonkers Azure bookings give Microsoft a record-breaking $110bn year

J J Carter
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Windows

Lets get real

It's perfectly possible for a start-up company to get Office, Teams, Skype, CRM, Intune managed laptops and phones, AI, big-data etc. etc. all with many nines reliability with zero on-prem footprint after just a long weekend of work on the Office 365 and Azure portals. No BOFHs needed, ever!

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Code of conduct claims new Texas Instruments CEO after just six weeks

J J Carter
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Facepalm

In reality

All he said was "that fish is good enough for Jehovah!"

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Microsoft to pay new bounties for identity services holes

J J Carter
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Windows

One AD to rule them all!

We're about to abandon on-prem ADFS for 1,000s users in favour of syncing password hashes to Azure AD and re-associating the SSaS trust relationships from ADFS to Azure AD.

Far simpler to let MSFT handle all this than run on-prem ADFS and try to achieve all the nines up-time.

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Farewell then, Slack: The grown-ups have arrived

J J Carter
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Windows

Slack was the future once

Teams is already replacing Slack in my organisation.

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Microsoft Teams goes free, as free as the wind blows... up to a point

J J Carter
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Facepalm

Goodbye BOFHs!

BOFHs hate Teams, nothing to install on one of their oh so precious servers and it'll work on ports 80/443 so it'll sail through firewalls and deliver video and voice conferencing to desktop and mobiles. It's even replacing WhatsApp in my organisation.

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J J Carter
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Do you know who is top of the hit parade?

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Microsoft bids adieu to inky fingers with whiteboard app

J J Carter
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We expect a lot of use of this app on the Surface Hubs and peeps at home able to join

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Every step you take: We track you for your own safety, you know?

J J Carter
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Pint

Is it beer o'clock?

It's a bit early to be drinking so heavily, surely?

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Windows 10's defences are pretty robust these days, so of course folk are trying to break them

J J Carter
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Windows

MSFT baaad.

Thankyou El Reg for another 2-minute hate on MSFT

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'Toxic' Whitehall power culture fingered for GDS's fall from grace

J J Carter
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Windows

All that's left is a Slack channel

If it hadn't been for the quasi-religious faith in everything in open-source they may have achieved something.

I kicked the can down the road of flipping 1,000s of MS Office seats to use ODF 'standard' files knowing it would all blow over once Mad Frankie Maude went. Who wanted their staff up on arms that Word mark-up had gone or Excel couldn't have macros?

Still, the contractors on the gravy train made out like gang-busters!

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Hoping for Microsoft's mythical Andromeda in your Xmas stocking? Don't hold your breath

J J Carter
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Boffin

Maybe not so niche?

We've been rolling out a range of mobis across the organisation and the Samsung Note 8 with stylus is proving surprisingly popular despite the outsize form-factor. Of course they'll all running MSFT apps for Android and Skype for Business, managed by Intune.

A foldable device that doesn't suffer from the shitfest that is Android could well appeal to 20% of end-users

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IBM fired me because I'm not a millennial, says axed cloud sales star in age discrim court row

J J Carter
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Trollface

A video tape recorder?

The old boy was rumbled when he pitched the benefits of adding 8" floppy drives and a 300baud dial-up modem to the system spec. out of habit.

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A fine vintage: Wine has run Microsoft Solitaire on Linux for 25 years

J J Carter
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Windows

You know it’s true

What a shame that for 25 years peeps have wasted so many, many hours on a dead end project, just because of a blind hatred of MSFT.

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Micro Focus offloads Linux-wrangler SUSE for a cool $2.5bn

J J Carter
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Boffin

Going short

You invest in SUSE, you lose.

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UK Home Office sheds 70 staff on delayed 4G upgrade to Emergency Services Network

J J Carter
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Boffin

Let's look at the facts

The obvious solution, and one that was discussed 5 years ago when I was at the HO, was to use the public 4G network with -

1) Emergency Services had handsets that signalled to the base stations to give priority/exclusive use - this is part of the 4G spec.

2) Public money was used to build masts in areas that weren't commercially viable but were needed to give coverage for emergency services

3) Public money was used to build masts in very high demand areas such as football stadiums.

The last 2 meant tax-payers would benefit from the £M spent.

I recall this option was rejected due to 'securidee' concerns in favour of splurging £B on a dedicated 4G network.

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Sophos SafeGuard anything but – thanks to 7 serious security bugs

J J Carter
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Big Brother

Really,,,,

Guess GCHQ has no further use for these backdoors.

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GitLab's move off Azure to Google cloud totally unrelated to Microsoft's GitHub acquisition. Yep

J J Carter
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Paris Hilton

Whoor!

Paris pics are all over TitHub

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Qualcomm still serious about Windows 10 on Arm: Engineers work on '12W' Snapdragon 1000

J J Carter
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Boffin

Top of the shop?

I'd expect C-level and Veeps to go for these in a big-way, the battery will easily cope with an international flight plus a roaming SIP will means they're not faffing about looking for wi-fi hot-spots to join video conferences. And 99% of the software they use is already compiled for Arm.

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Buttonless and port-free: Expect the next iPhone to be as smooth as a baby's bum

J J Carter
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Boffin

A fanboi writes

OMG, Apple have invented electro-magnetism! Magical and game changing! I wuv you Mr Apple...

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Amazon tweaks its word processor for easier online Office edits

J J Carter
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Windows

Aye, right!

Today, on "Things that never happened!"...

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Amazon staffers protest giant's 'support of the surveillance state'

J J Carter
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FAIL

FAO Amazon workers

Where's my stuff?

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Microsoft open-sources UI Recorder tool for Windows 10 developers

J J Carter
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Boffin

Let's get real

I expect M$FT will monetize Github and require a subscription for N and N-1 check-ins. Old cr4p remains free.

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Microsoft Edge bug odyssey shows why we can't have nice things

J J Carter
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Trollface

Ker-ching?

How much did he cadge off M$FT for the bug bounty?

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Now Microsoft ports Windows 10, Linux to homegrown CPU design

J J Carter
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Re: GIGO

<chip in...>

I see what you did there!

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J J Carter
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Trollface

GIGO

A conveyor belt of garbage into the CPU - the perfect analogy for M$FT's Windoze and Orifice software!

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Meet the Frenchman masterminding a Google-free Android

J J Carter
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Windows

Hmm

This is going to be as successful as Linux replacing Windows on the desktop.

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Office 365 celebrates National Beer Day by popping out for a pint

J J Carter
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Facepalm

Obviously...

I blame the Virtual BOFH

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Russia appears to be 'live testing' cyber attacks – Former UK spy boss Robert Hannigan

J J Carter
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Alert

Hell, yeah!

Mr President, we must not allow a firewall gap to develop!

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Have to use SMB 1.0? Windows 10 April 2018 Update says NO

J J Carter
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Facepalm

Arf, arf, arf!

Must be some real BOFH bellends about if business system are still on SMB1

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Oddly enough, when a Tesla accelerates at a barrier, someone dies: Autopilot report lands

J J Carter
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Boffin

Nothing is right first time

Jet aircraft had to go through teething problems such as the Comet design, I'm willing to cut Tesla some lack here.

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GNOMEs beat Microsoft: Git Virtual File System to get a new name

J J Carter
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The File System Formerly Known As GVFS or TFSFKAGVFS?

After evil M$FT has monetised it, look out for TFSFKAGVFS Community Edition with Bing(tm) and TFSFKAGVFS Enterprise E5 Edition etc. etc.

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Nadella tells worried GitHub devs: Judge us by our actions

J J Carter
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Trollface

Yes!

Just bought domain tithub.com, going to make it as big as YouPorn!

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J J Carter
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FAIL

Pure evil

Just had Nan on the phone, sobbing her heart out that her code archive on Github has been stolen by M$FT. Well done Satnad for upsetting a snowy-haired old lady!

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Is Microsoft about to git-merge with GitHub? Rumors suggest: Yes

J J Carter
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Trollface

Baad MSFT!

All your code are belong to us!

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Visa Europe fscks up Friday night with other GDPR: 'God Dammit, Payment Refused'

J J Carter
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Facepalm

Fools and their credit...

Why, oh why did VISA schedule upgrading to Windows 10 Spring 2018 Edition on a Friday!

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Half of all Windows 10 users thought: BSOD it, let's get the latest build

J J Carter
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Re: Try the LTSB...

But who wants to use an ATM OS as their desktop PC?

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J J Carter
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Windows

Needs saying!

So every day more Windows 10 machines have been successfully upgraded to the April 2018 Update than the total number of Linux desktops running in the world.

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Chief EU negotiator tells UK to let souped-up data adequacy dream die

J J Carter
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Re: The more I listen to the EU...

...the more pleased I am we're Brexiting!

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Businesses brace themselves for a kicking as GDPR blows in

J J Carter
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Boffin

Yes!

One of the first bits of unwanted EU red-tape we'll be well shot-of after Brexit along with bendy cucumber legislation!

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Ex-staffer of UK.gov dept bags payout after boss blabbed medical info to colleagues

J J Carter
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Facepalm

Needs saying!

To be fair, the manager just didn't want peeps complaining to building services that the drains were blocked and ponging

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US websites block netizens in Europe: Why are they ghosting EU? It's not you, it's GDPR

J J Carter
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Facepalm

#MAGA

They obviously do have a plan - not to be arsed with EU snowflakes, cheese-eaters and surrender-monkeys!

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You know that silly fear about Alexa recording everything and leaking it online? It just happened

J J Carter
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Big Brother

A TLA writes...

'Hard wood flooring' is known Jihadist code-work for nuclear dirty-bomb so Alexa kept listening as designed. Nothing to see here, move along now...

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London's Met Police: We won't use facial recognition at Notting Hill Carnival

J J Carter
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Boffin

An geneticists in tonight?

On a serious note, perhaps people-of-colour have a statistically smaller range of facial differences which would allow facial recognition s/w to produce meaningful results?

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About to install the Windows 10 April 2018 Update? You might want to wait a little bit longer

J J Carter
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Windows

Seriously

Friends don’t let friends run FUD bloatware like Avast, Norton, Kaspersky etc etc

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Your parents love you, Cortana. That's why we bought you an upgrade

J J Carter
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Linux

Rejoice, rejoice!

A new week, a new 2-minute hate on MSFT.

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Domain name sellers rub ICANN's face in sticky mess of Europe's GDPR

J J Carter
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Boffin

In reality

This says more about the unwanted and unnecessary GDPR regime dreamt up by Brussels pen-pushers and cheese eaters.

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Surface Hub 2: Microsoft's pricey whiteboard gets a sequel

J J Carter
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Linux

But seriously

I may be interested if I can install Linux Mint on it.

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Google shoots Chrome 66's silencer after developer backlash

J J Carter
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Big Brother

Let's be honest

Pr0nz just wasn't the same without having the YES! YES! YES! OMG! YES! At least, that's what a friend told me.

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Wanna break Microsoft's Edge browser? Google's explained how

J J Carter
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Windows

Yep, we get it.

MSFT baaad!

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Prez Donald Trump to save manufacturing jobs … in China, at ZTE

J J Carter
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Childcatcher

Oh, Matron!

Will Stormy Daniels now complain of being 'back-doored' by The Donald?

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