Re: What the hell did they expect?
"How do the more popular Linux setups approach this? I didn't think they aped the start-menu, or do they? Don't they mostly let you view your programs in lists or tiled pages?"
Linux gives you options and customisable desktops, so you can configure things how you like. Windows 8 offers no such thing (unless you count 'boot to desktop' and changing the colour scheme).
For example, Linux Mint has a menu button very similar to the start menu in the Cinnamon and Mate desktops, but the thing is you can remove it, move it about or ignore it, all using out-of-the-box funtionality. You can even use someone else's third-party menu if you want.
With Linux you have a wide choice of customisable desktop options, Gnome 3, KDE, Cinnamon, Mate and Unity are just a few of them.