* Posts by 's water music

1244 posts • joined 31 Jan 2013


Well Holby damned! We've caught a virus: Brit medical soap operas team up for 'cyber' episode

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Mild-mannered janitors. Them's the ones you need to watch

Sussex rap fan wants statue of Easy-E from NWA in his hometown because he's a 'legend'

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Re: A Subtle Distinction

I haven't seen anyone flashing in relation to Brexit, which is very disappointing. Where should I be looking for this?

Presumably Dr Victoria Bateman. A source who knows her suggests that she was just looking for any excuse.

Return of the audio format wars and other money-making scams

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Re: If you're looking for a challenge...

I dreamt of owning one of those and escaping the limitations of compact cassette recording. Was gutted when the format didn't take off

Pandas so useless they just look at delicious kid who fell into enclosure

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down with milkshake panda

Fuck him, I found some racist tweets a little way back on his timeline

'Now is the winter of our disk contents'... Decision on Lauri Love's seized gear due next week

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Re: El Reg Headlines

My theory is it's all the work of some poor dude chained up in a dark basement... kept aloft with coke and beer while simultaneously weighed down by deadlines.

You are confusing it with coding

Leaky child-tracking smartwatch maker hits back at bad PR

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Re: Dammit you guys!!!!

Still, I'm sure their Safe Kid Two is much more secure, it has a pedometer.


Something that measures pedos is surely the kind of USP the target market will appreciate.

Beep, beep, beep --->

HMRC: We 'rigorously tested' IR35 tax-check tool... but have almost nothing to show for it

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Re: High Quality Test Software Of High Quality

upvoted for not having added a 'joke alert' icon to this short documentary

Reliable system was so reliable, no one noticed its licence had expired... until it was too late

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Re: The benefit of being forced to accept a customer's licencing terms

PHB: 'This piss-ant little vendor wants us to accept a perpetual license agreement. Sounds too good to be true. It must be a trap. You there. Copy and paste the Oracle terms and tell them to accept a grown-up's license agreement or fuck off. This is why they pay me the big bucks.'

Housing biz made to pay £1.5k for sticking fingers in its ears when served a subject access request

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correspondence about dealing with snagging on a new build property? Results of investigations by the developer into the background of a home owner who is in dispute with them over snagging?

Accused hacker Lauri Love to sue National Crime Agency to retrieve confiscated computing kit

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Re: He's a prize twat

While I have every sympathy with any attempt to get his stuff back if there's no ongoing justification for it to be held, I still think the guy is an idiot. A pretty mouthy one at that.

Well luckily (for me at least) that isn't an offence

UK transport's 'ludicrous' robocar code may 'put lives at risk'

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Re: Road Runner testing?

Now come on, who here wouldn't love to draw a curve onto the divider line up to a brick wall and paint a tunnel on it as a test of this technology?

Yeah sure but you'll feel a right cunt when the AV goes straight through the tunnel and when you try to follow it you smack right into a wall

Only plebs use Office 2019 over Office 365, says Microsoft's weird new ad campaign

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Re: No thanks

But all that is set to change now I've discovered that there is an office suite I can use for listing US state capitals. When I think of the countless times I've been sitting in front of the the screen staring at "Little Rock AR, Sacramento CA..." and wondering what comes next. Not any more!

Well you just destroyed 4% of the value right there

British cops told to scrap 'discriminatory' algorithms in policing

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Re: The 2011 London Riots

By happenstance, I came across this the other day. I am not qualified to comment on the quality of the research

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Re: Bias in, bias out

it is the old correlation != causation coupled with structural inequalities.

If you have data that shows a correlation between skin colour, home postcode or whatever with criminality then if you have a limited budget it makes some sense to deploy your resources disproportionately at that demographic. You will get more 'hits' for your money which reinforces your sense that this is a good approach so even if the original correlation is based on historical discriminatory policing your approach may appear valid. If the affected demographic is relatively poor and under-represented within the planning process then it is even less likely that a discriminatory approach will be called out.

A counter-example would be for a financial crime unit to adopt the approach of kettling the Square Mile and shaking down all the white guys in suits. They may well achieve a better hit rate than random selections but as well as being as unfair as harassing black people you could expect more successful push-back against such an approach due to the way power structures work in society.

Intelligence led policing might be even more successful in percentage terms. Now ask yourself if non-causal correlate led policing is likely to reinforce cooperation in the community most likely to have useful insights to share,

El Reg talks to PornHub sister biz AgeID – and an indie pornographer – about age verification

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Re: Huge loophole?

you've got to admit that's one big loophole right there.

A huge, gaping, hole one might say.

the grubby mac please (obvs) --->

Worried about Brexit food shortages? North Korean haute couture has just the thing

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Re: Ahh...

Yes. As an example, we have two days supply of toilet paper in the UK. Any sort of blockage at Dover would mean that supply dries up very quickly.

A blockage will reduce demand surely? And if it dries quickly....

Apple: You can't sue us for slowing down your iPhones because you, er, invited us into, uh, your home... we can explain

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>Why are dogs afraid of going into space?

because of the vacuum.

I thought they might have heard what happened to Laika

Six Flags fingerprinted my son without consent, says mom. Y'know, this biometric case has teeth, say state supremes...

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"You can cancel your credit card but you cannot cancel your face."

Worthy addition to a book of quotes.

Face cancellation service. Can your mother stitch pal?

Have a smile more like his--->

Should the super-rich pay 70% tax rate above $10m? Here's Michael Dell's hot take for Davos

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Re: Simple solution to Dell's problem

"If I was lucky enough to have $11m in the bank I would certainly not want the IRS demanding that I hand over $700k to them for every $1m I earn."

Why would you having 11m in the back affect your top rate income tax?

And if your hypothetical wealth were income, do you understand the difference between marginal and flat rates?

Data hackers are like toilet ninjas. This is not a clean crime, you know

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Re: RE: AC

Gentleman's relish sounds like a euphemism for spunk...

It was the title of a series of fuckbooks that did that rounds at my alma mater in the 80s.

Wow, fancy that. Web ad giant Google to block ad-blockers in Chrome. For safety, apparently

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Re: So predictable !

...Google sell *you*(1), not your data. ...

(1) You in this case is a person identical to you, who advertisers and others can target, via Google's services (for which they pay Google,) but without those advertisers and others actually knowing who you are - so they can't bypass Google and target you directly.

Dear Google (if that is your real name), I, 's water: of the music family, a flesh and blood human being in possession of a sovereign and individual spirit, a living soul, do hereby make Oath and state the following:

[cont. p94]

Fake broadband ISP support scammers accidentally cough up IP address to Deadpool in card phish gone wrong

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In Ye Olden Dayes I used to keep a rape alarm next to the telephone for busting the eardums of scammers. Wish there was an Internet equivalent

LOIC? (with a similar risk of collateral damage to yourself)

Ooh, my machine is SO much faster than yours... Oh, wait, that might be a bit of a problem...

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Re: The difference between theory and practice

Because real life and simulations almost never coincide.

In theory they are the same, in practice they are often not so.

Depressed? Desperate for a ciggie? Blame the Neanderthals

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Re: Keep firing in the dark

I know......you live in Barrow-in-Furness

Could explain the preponderance towards depression too

Are you sure your disc drive has stopped rotating, or are you just ignoring the messages?

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"Bash keyboard to continue" should cover all your bases.

You have a keyboard dedicated to bash? My bourne keyboard not good enough for your error messages?

Screw what's in the pockets, just give me the best coat you've got in the cloakroom please-->

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Re: Favorite prompts

Unexpected condition. Do you feel lucky. Y/N

Black Horse slowed down: Lloyds Banking Group confirms problem with 'Faster' payments

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cheque's in the post mate

happy friday

Iran satellite fails: ICBM test drive or microsat test? Opinion is divided...

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Re: Red Herring

I think you underestimate religious fanatics.

I think Iran is pretty aware of what American religious fanatics would push for in the event of an Iranian nuclear strike under pretty much any circs, or perhaps of the mainstream support that the fanatics could expect for crazy stuff they are already pushing for

xHamster reports spike in UK users getting their five-knuckle shuffle on before pr0n age checks

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...I would guess that once you've seen various "offices" from several angles over several hours...

Oddly specific?

CES flicks the off switch on massager award… and causes a buzz

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I saw a original and faux Fiat 500 pull up alongside one another a a set of traffic lights once. Instructive. The newer Mega-Minis aren't even particularly small by new car standards any more

Border guards probe 'suspicious bulge' in man's trousers to find he's packing fluffies

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Re: Cat o' nine tails

nope, I meant the Aristocrats

The inclusion of (sic) was intended to head this confusion off but the joke doesn't really bear this analysis

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Re: Cat o' nine tails

...Singapore's Animals and Birds Act...

What do they call themselves?




The Aristocrats (sic)

Who cracked El Chapo's encrypted chats and brought down the Mexican drug kingpin? Er, his IT manager

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Re: The FBI paid him back in return for his services

...Imagine having a national government backing you up, not to mention probably placing you in a completely different and unrelated location...

Yes, imagine a national government underwriting your personal data security. What could go wrong..? I'm not even going to bother putting anchor tags linking to all the obvious breach stories

My 2019 resolution? Not to buy any of THIS rubbish

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Re: Wisdom equals repitition

Works with dad jokes too. After I trot out a belter for the hundredth time my kids are in tears.

The one with the apparently bottomless wallet in the pocket please-->

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Re: Switched on Bach

When I later heard the same [as Wendy Carlos' Switched on Bach] Bach pieces on classic instruments - it was amazing how electronic the sound of the classic instruments was

Generally I am a sucker for cross-genre mashups or musical parodies but I was underwhelmed by these.

What I have been amazed by was whilst pushing a horse along with a motor car doesn't seem like a big deal, you should see how fast an un-motorised hay cart could push a horse back in the day. I'm at a loss to explain how it was done really.

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Re: Mortgage brokers

...they do amazing work for people with less than ideal credit ratings...

Well thank fuck someone was around to help subprime borrowers acquire mortgages. Imagine a world where that never happened

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Rhetorical questions are still questions and thus require the question mark.

Indeed but I think the point being made was that if you omit the question mark from that sentence it rendered not-a-question and thus no longer needs one as well as humorously altering the meaning.

I'm just not sure the computer works here – the energy is all wrong

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Luckily I sat a few feet away and there she was, one leg crossed over the other, pointy shoes, and her leg starts swinging as she gets into her work - and the tip of her bloody stilletto hits the mains switch on the wall, just enough to break the power.

Score one for the creepy IT guy always finding excuses to crawl around under certain desks in office hours

More nodding dogs green-light terrible UK.gov pr0n age verification plans

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Re: Protection from what?

various things stuck in places they should probably never have been inserted. Kids seem to have a bit more sense in these matters.

Not in my family. Blue-tack in the ear of one of mine and a niece who had a grommet operation was presented with a recovered lego on uncertain vintage by the medical staff.

Personally, I blame the parents.

's water music Silver badge

Re: Just like buying a magazine.

There are several long-established chlidren's games that involve moving about while blindfolded. eg pin the donkey; blind man's buff; Piñata. The latter also involves flailing about with a heavy stick.

And, for older children, the classic 'thinly vield excuse for a bit of groping one another' which can also involve flailing about with a heavy stick later on

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Paris Hilton

Re: More fuel if any is required...

otherwise Karen from HR may want a to call you in for meeting regarding unusual browsing activity recorded over the weekend

Serendipitously I was watching a documentary film at the weekend on just this topic. I'm casting a hopeful eye over my desk diary even as we speak.

Icon for one of the expert presenters-->

SpaceX's Crew Dragon shows up at pad 39A, nearly 8 years after the last Shuttle left

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Re: Branding B0110x

the revolving door has never yet resulted in a better plane or a better deal for the taxpayer

I think you are making a category error wrt to the purpose of the revolving door. I think you will also find that there are several taxpayers for whom it has yielded more than satisfactory results

Your mates vape. Your boss quit smoking. You promised to quit in 2019. But how will Big Tobacco give it up?

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The very essence of TL:DR

Staff sacked after security sees 'suspect surfer' script of shame

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Re: Workplace Darwin Awards?

In a large professional services firm sometime in the 00s I worked in a team that turned on SMS inventory collection of shortcuts. This included browser Favourites for IE. We turned that off again pretty quickly.

The Palm Palm: The Derringer of smartphones

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Re: "useless coin pocket" ?

I keep a billiards table in mine, in case I fancy a quick game

Oh Deer! Poacher sentenced to 12 months of regular Bambi screenings in the cooler

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Re: 'Murica never ceases...

Everyone does have a firearm and criminals are not afraid to use them to commit crime.

Or, by any chance, when you say "everyone" are you including toddlers?


Equifax how-it-was-mega-hacked damning dossier lands, in all of its infuriating glory

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Re: Time machines obviously exist....

"...dated back to the 1970s..." ...13 years before Sun even released SunOS...

I wondered if they might have found elements that dated back to 00:00:00 Jan 1st 1970 or that time +SystemUpTime

Poor people should get slower internet speeds, American ISPs tell FCC

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Re: Well, if they don't think it's fair...


WhAt's the UsE oF My beInG RiCh if YoU arR not pOoR?

Privacy, security fears about ID cards? UK.gov's digital bod has one simple solution: 'Get over it'

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Re: "on every bit of information about every resident of the UK?"

You fail to understand those data already exist in government databases. You should ask to destroy any electronic storage and return to paper archive only. Maybe better if they are on parchment, or clay tablets. Only approved scribes should know how to write, so less risks of fakes and leaks

Clay tablets you say? Pretty sure the Sumerians could tell you some stories about data leakage in the long term

Tesla autopilot saves driver after he fell asleep at wheel on the freeway

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Re: Snark?

I guess sarcasm is easier than finding stuff out.

i'm so meta even this acronym


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