* Posts by The Nazz

187 posts • joined 18 Jan 2013

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Balancing miners borks blockchains, say boffins

The Nazz

And in this day and age ...

good luck with finding 50 banks that are entirely trustworthy.

Recent experiences show anything but.

Aside from problems of scalability.

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Yorkshire council hit with prolonged web outage

The Nazz

Forced to close?

Extremely unlikely. More than likely the cabinet chose to, as with a local sports centre providing excellent services for the community, especially the elderly, which has, sorry, oops HAD one of the few facilities of it's kind in West Yorkshire.

Kirklees, i am told, is one of the most deprived areas of England. The nine strong ( all Labour) cabinet are doing their very best.

OK, IT services may be "down" but how come that stops the physical bin collection with old fashioned men and lorries?

Ha, ha, f*cking, ha.

Now excuse me whilst i go bring the still full bin in.

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Screw EU! Apple to fight back over €13bn tax bill

The Nazz

To reduce the legal delays and sheningans ....

Firstly, seize all their equipment in Ireland*, then also seize their IP ( as it's Sooooooooooooooo valuable)

Then let them argue the toss.

Losing lawyers don't get paid (provided they're on Apple's side anyway)

Soon put a stop to it.

*isn't that what the coppers would do here, take all your compute stuff first, and maybe give you it all back, in working order, if you're very lucky?

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Ancient water found in Canada is two billion years old – giving hope to Mars colony dreamers

The Nazz

Re: Mars Colony Dreamers

In all seriousness, wouldn't it be far far cheaper and much simpler to not keep paying fantastic amounts of money/resources to expand the earth's population?

Reduce it in fact, at BOTH ends of the age scale?

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Beeb flings millions more £s at Capita for telly tax collection

The Nazz

Knocking on our doors?

I doubt it.

Every three months or so (for he past four years plus) i get a series of letters, each one slightly more threatening, ending in big red bold capitals, WE HAVE OPENED AN INVESTIGATION. We may visit you at any time of day and night.

But they never do.

Repeat cycle every three months.

Apart from once, i'm sat by a bay window 5ft from my door maybe. Bloke walks past, doesn't even knock but posts a note through the door, "we visited you today". By the time i got the the "mail", he'd ferked off.

Now, to my simple mind, i'd call their operation a scam. A fraud. Either do the job properly or don't bother. That said, when you've guaranteed, now increased revenue, a cushy number why bother.

Last comment and i appeal to your collective intellect, wisdom, fair play and a good dose of BOFH.

When they do knock, and i let them in, locking the door behind them, How long should they need to stay for , to check that i really never do watch or downlaod TV?

A week? A month? And is £20 a day for board reasonable?

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Hack attack fear scares Canadian exam board away from online tests

The Nazz

2 parrots sat on a perch

"Can you smell fish?"

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The Nazz

Re: Good idea

"Bring back hanging the chavs"

I say old bean, what an spiffing idea.

I must have missed it the first time around.

"Just heard that four chavs in a chevette drove over a cliff!

"Aw, shame"

"Yeah, chevettes have five seats"

When i say "Just heard" make that 20 years,

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Job cuts, falling sales and now a mega pension deficit at RM

The Nazz

Is the home roost full yet?

A great big Thank You* to Gordon "I am the financial genius that saved the world" Brown.

*yeah, really, whilst omitting the worst of swear words.

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Icelandic Pirate Party sails away from attempt to form government

The Nazz

Take a leaf out of Belgium's book

In recent times, didn't Belgium go without a formal government for some 2 and a half years? Without much going wrong?

Mind you, some may say not much went right.

Conclusion, governments are overrated.

Especially those members who sell their soul to the coalition devil.

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LAKE OF frozen WATER THE SIZE OF NEW MEXICO FOUND ON MARS – NASA

The Nazz

Re: Units

Ahem, am i correct in guessing/thinking that Lake Superior is a little bit (quite a lot really) deeper, in parts, than Lake Windermere?

Does this justify a revised calculation?

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Facebook 'fesses up to fudged ad metrics … again

The Nazz

And still ....

People wonder why the UK voted for Brexit and the US for Trump.

20+ years ago that would be described for what it is : Deception, Fraud. Possibly prosecuted as such.

If i had been an advertiser (unlikely) i'd be demanding 80% fees refunded.

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Twitter rolls out troll controls

The Nazz

Re: Whaddabout...

Further to that, in my (thankfully) limited reading of twitter accounts and tweets therein, i find that it is the millenial females themselves who are dishing out the abuse.

Somewhat amusing last week to see those who often tweet the mantra "haters are gonna hate" were the ones going overboard over Trump's emphatic victory.

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Redcentric CFO quits after botched accounts discovered

The Nazz

Hmmmm, previous period Audited Accounts eh?

And just how much will the highly remunerated, professional Auditors be contributing to the loss of vale?

What's that i hear? Nothing.

"Nothing to do with us guv, we just "audited" what you gave us."

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Facebook chokes off car insurance slurp because – get this – it has privacy concerns

The Nazz

Just read Twitter then ...

One of the accounts i occasionally peruse, a 21 year old woman, quite openly tweets her driving record :

4 crashes to date, drives without her vision correcting spectacles, drives whilst under the influence upto 36 hours after nights out and brags that no one, i repeat no one, will ever beat her in a race home out through the suburbs.

Presumably the police (UK) haven't noticed any of this as they're focussed on reading whether i've upset her in any way, say calling her a "fat bitch", she isn't. Numerous pouting selfies confirm this.

Mind boggling.

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Uber, Lyft drivers shamed for 'racial bias' by uni eggheads

The Nazz

Think what you will ....

But i'd share a ride with the blonde one any day.

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Self-driving cars doomed to be bullied by pedestrians

The Nazz

On the plus side ....

If the car is really well programmed and, in the event of an emergency avoidance manoeuvre, it can spot the excessively obese pedestrians around here ( possible contradiction there maybe) then it wont need to carry it's own built in airbags.

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The Nazz

Commercials will be even more fun.

Gang of said hoodies.

Spotter out ahead : Beer truck approaching, get ready lads.

Oh noes, this ones carrying Bud, let it pass.

Whoopee, bonus time, here comes a truck carrying top notch electronic gear.

Step out in three, two, one .....

On the matter of animals. I once hit a rabbit at 70mph. I wish i hadn't.

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The Nazz

I called it a couple of weeks back.

http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2016/10/12/mercedes_autonomous_car_will_run_over_pedestrians/

Also, on the matter of form, are we gonna see just the one make with rounded corners/edges and all the others built like 1970 Lada's?

Cheapest and best option yet : a solid white line 3ft* out from the kerb, stencil a bicycle within every 100 yards* or so and NO PARKING. At all.

Mind you, it would help further if said 3ft lane wasn't filled with pot holes, patchy repairs and the sundry detritus of last evening's leisure, whether that be the result of excess alcohol/junk food or breaking into auto's.

*other measurements are available.

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Iceland's Pirate Party tops polls ahead of national elections

The Nazz

Re: Who will think of the Children?

I upvoted you, once i had stopped laughing.

The short ones are often the best.

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NHS patients must be taught to share their data, says EU lobby group

The Nazz

Re: Was

Have you not heard of laxatives? Too much artificial sweetener also has the same effect, i believe.

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Spinal Tap’s bass player sues former French sewer

The Nazz

It just seems a bit rich to me.

Let me see, a guy who earns a (reported) ridiculous sum of $300k per episode for 25 years launches a lawsuit to sue for "fair artistic compensation, industry-wide."

I look forward to him paying back some $298,000 per episode back into the artists collective pot, so that all such artists can receive a "fair" return.

Modern life i suppose.

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Salesforce rules out Twitter bid

The Nazz

I'm undecided.

When Twitter does meet it's end, i'm undecided as to whether the nations (UK) health (mental) will improve or decline once the millenials, celebs and wannabe celebs have no outlet for their narcissistic prattle.

Disclaimer : I spend about 5 mins a week perusing some accounts for the perverse pleasure of being able to repeatedly utter WTF.

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Mercedes answers autonomous car moral dilemma: Yeah, we'll just run over pedestrians

The Nazz

But on the upside ....

At least the indicators will be used where appropriate/required.

I've though about this dilemma, more in the context of constantly stepping in front of one of these autonomous vehicles such that they slam their brakes on. Good fun to be had.

Best be careful which make/model i choose then.

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Matt LeBlanc handed £1.5m to front next two series of Top Gear

The Nazz

Re: arguably the UK’s most famous ginger man

There is only ONE ginger for the role.

L & G, I give you Mrs Horner, fka Ginger spice.

Can you imagine all that pillow talk, fired up on Red Bull.

Pistons, big ends fnarr, fnarr.

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Top smut site stops Flashing, adopts HTML5

The Nazz

Porn

The only film that looks the same in reverse as it does normally.

Ok, almost.

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Public masturbation not a crime declares Italy’s top court

The Nazz

Better value than a fine .....

Surely he could have garnered much assistance from the (impoverished?) students for much less than the fine of €3,420?

Many times over.

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EU court: Linking to pirated stuff doesn't breach copyright... except when it does

The Nazz

Am i missing something here?

The article ends with an hyperlink , "you can find the press release *here*".

So by the logic of the article, that is an instant breach of copyright ( of the press release)?

Regardless of whether or not The Reg has sought and obtained express permission to make such a link.

Suggested exception to any laws : Please ban ALL hyperlinks within Twitter.

Edit : Just as most El Reg articles do, surely they don't obtain permission for every single one of them?

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Hollywood offers Daniel Craig $150m to (slash wrists) play James Bond

The Nazz

If Bond becomes a woman . . .

Do we get to keep Bondgirls and is Bond herself a lezza?

Or do the girls become Men?

A hybrid franchise of sorts, Carry On Bonding?

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Surge pricing? How about surge fines: Pennsylvania orders Uber to cough up $11.4m

The Nazz

my two cents worth*

Two points :

1. Just how hard can it be for Uber to become "legal" and register as the taxi operator it so clearly is? Technically, easy. Philosophically difficult.

2. Advice to Tom Wolf, Governor of Pennsylvania : when drafting legislation for "ridesharing", make it relevant to that and not operating an unlicensed taxi service like Uber.

It worries me that the leading official in the State/Commenwealth intimates that Uber is merely ridesharing. Surely that is dishonest, disingenuous at best.

It also amuses me that often the US are the forerunners in cracking down on "rogue" banks who bend the rules or the corrupt businesses who use "bribery" to win business.

What's the difference between bribery and such as appointing key IOC Veeps as "ambassadors", for the victory ( well, Goddess of)? The US seems to rather like the latter approach.

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Dell's new story: Goldilocks and the three virtual infrastructures

The Nazz

From the usual (high) standard of stock photos used

one wouldn't think there was an ongoing obesity epidemic, would one.

My first thought was that it a photo of the retro french actress (actress, really?) Dominique Saint-Clair.

There is a strong semblance there, but there again, i've never really seen DSC with her clothes on.

Now what was that about the servers?

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Jovial NASA says Juno flyby a success

The Nazz

With greetings from Yorkshire

May i offer :

t'rain : piss wet through precipitation, mostly downward but occasionally near horizontal.

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Google 'Solitaire' ... Just do it

The Nazz

Re: Not fair

A close second would be Backgammon against "experts". If they don't win the opening roll with one of three or so favourable rolls they just quit. LOL.

And repeat.

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Mozilla breathes petition-of-fire at EU copyright laws

The Nazz

Re: Back in the USA

Not to mention the special "Clinton's (own) Laws".

It isn't going to go well.

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Oracle Java copyright war latest: Why Google's luck is about to run out

The Nazz

re ma1010 "Winner takes all"

How about Winners take all?

With Android there are 100's of millions of winners.

Even the one loser, Oracle, can well afford to do so.

Much better for a civilised society that way, do you not think?

On a topical note, same with the RIO olympics. Sure there have been a few hundred gold medal winners, some nicely positioned IOC officials and ambassadorial VP's who have done very well for themselves but there are also billions of losers who will now forego better housing, education and health care to pay for it.

My £0.02 worth says it isn't leading us to a better or even more civilised society. On the contrary.

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NASA to begin first asteroid sample mission: Seeks 'pristine' specimen

The Nazz

Why all that way and $800m for a puny two oh zees*

Why not collect quite a bit more material? It's not like there's a baggage handling charge on the return journey.

*As my millenial daughter once asked after her first Domestic Science lesson ( well, she called it Food Tech but i knew what she meant) and upon reading a recipe, "Dad, what are oz's?"

I blame the teachers.

*

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US Patent Office sued after it declared a power outage a 'national holiday'

The Nazz

It simply reads to me ...

that Elm 3DS know they have a lot to be worried about if the reviews are allowed to proceed.

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Bees bring down US stealth fighter

The Nazz

Where's the usual corollory to a story of this nature?

ie No brown wedding parties or MSF hospitals where harmed during this entire exercise.

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Microbes that laugh at antibiotics: UK sinks £4.5m into China-Brit kill team

The Nazz

Re: "Super gonorrhea"????

I felt such a drip when the Dr gave me the test results.

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NASA dumps $65m into building deep space hutches for humans

The Nazz

NASA need to have a word with Nelly down our road

For the small sum of $40 ( 30GBP ) she took me much further than i'd ever been before.

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Australian national census fails in the IBM cloud

The Nazz

All things considered, not that bad an effort.

Contrast that with the UK's 2011 Census ( pop'n about 2.5 x that of Oz) :

Approx cost of some £495m

Thousands (tens of?) of returned and completed forms lost before census day.

Thousands (hundreds of?) of useless forms, (duplicate or non valid addresses) issued in advance.

Return rates in a lot of London Boroughs down in the 60%'s.

Successful prosecutions for non-return? Very few if any, i guess.

Yep, the Aussies have some way to go to match that "success" rate.

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London's contactless ticket payment system for sale in £15m deal

The Nazz

At risk of increasing Mr O's blood pressure ...

I hope they've sorted out all the bugs :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7Jw_v3F_Q0

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Kids’ shoes seller Start-rite suspends sales following breach

The Nazz

Anyone for a flip flop? ;-)

Just saying.

Presumably that youngster being "used" in the ad has given their informed consent?

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A little image magic gets Curiosity's wheels turning again

The Nazz

Re: As the (no doubt made up) Chinese apothegm has it:

No doubt about it, at all, of course it's made up.

It didnt just appear out of the Big Bang.

Being far removed from any form of Boffinry, i much prefer the Billy Connolly version :

"She shouted get him Rover and he jumped over ..."

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Spotify, YouTube pay musicians with ever-shrinking buttons

The Nazz

Here's a simple idea ....

If they really cared about the little guy, why don't all the mega rich superstars, the likes of Thom Yorke, Taylor Swift et al start up their own Music Label?

As an aside, if "stealing" music was good enough for major record companies in the 70's, then why be surprised when others do likewise? Compare :

https://www.google.co.uk/?gfe_rd=cr&ei=TleFV4TsKMXU8geG5ZXQDw#q=t+rex+i+love+to+boogie

to

https://www.google.co.uk/?gfe_rd=cr&ei=PleFV-W1E8XU8geG5ZXQDw#q=webb+pierce+teenage+boogie

Mr O's articles often refer to insufficient or falling revenue. But one could rightfully ask, where does all the massive increase in revenue, in relative terms, go to?

I understand that tickets to see the first Glastonbury Festival or the Derek & the Dominos tour ( a series of gigs) circa 1970 were priced at £1 , yes 1 single GBP each.

That's £15 in today's value, adjusted for inflation.

Where on earth, well the UK, the US. can you see anyone live for that amount nowadays?

Take Scarborough for example, an open air venue, yeah you get piss wet through when it rains and it does, the shittiest "bands"/acts start from £37

Also, whatever happened to half price tickets for children?

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UK.gov wants to fine websites £250,000 if teens watch porn vids

The Nazz

Are you over 18?

Of course i am, don't you know that my wife is the (now thankfully ex ) Home Secretary?

ps you couldn't bill me as it being "parliamentary stationery" could you?

Ooooh, i think i have a cold coming on ......a tissue.

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700,000 Muslim Match dating site private messages leaked online

The Nazz

i would have thought

manic depressives were much sought after too.

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Hubble spies rare cosmic tadpole galaxy

The Nazz

Re: @Lars: "Our galaxy does things like this"

Excellent.

The animated graphic had me laughing out loud, again after all these years.

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Apple, Amazon and Google are screwing us, warns Elizabeth Warren

The Nazz

Let me see if i understand this.

Senator Warren is a Democrat.

She rails against the monopoly power of huge business, particularly tech firms, such as Google.

Yet she's supported Obama for over 7 years. in bending over backwards for Google, notwithstanding being elected by.

And she wants to be running mate to the mega-sold out would be (probably will be ) POTUS Clinton?

Weird. Or par for the course.

At least our Sturgeon seems to be flogging a dying horse simply for the hell of it.

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Office 365 falls over in US

The Nazz

Irrelevant, but the lead photo has now got me singing . . .

There were 30,000lbs of Bananas, yes there were 30,000bs of ........mashed Bananas.

Thanks :-(

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Cali bloke accused of illegally trousering $68k using mom's Apple AuthenTec gobble tip-off

The Nazz

Aiding and abetting?

And of course, the brokerage agent is likewise being prosecuted for aiding and abetting an illegal activity and profiting therefrom.

Yeah, thought not.

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