* Posts by I like noodles

100 posts • joined 15 Nov 2012


Russians hear Tim Cook is gay, pull dead Steve Jobs' enormous erection

I like noodles

Re: Something lost in the translation?

Normalising homosexuality = normalising sodomy.

Its the same thing. The Russians are 100% correct on this one.

Abacus, which particular planet do you live on? Cos it certainly isn't the one that I live on, where a vast, vast percentage of the "straight" porn that exists on the interwank is sodomy.

As there are way more straight people than gay people in the world, it's totally safe to assume the straight people are by far and away responsible for the great majority of the sodomy in the world. Take your silly crusade up with them where you might manage to make bigger inroads into what you clearly see as an almighty problem.

Mobile carriers keep the promised land on an ever-receding horizon

I like noodles

Re: I feel for you

Another three-ite, a year and a half ago I lay in a hospital bed for a week and burnt up 8.5gb watching TV on my phone. Kept me sane, and not a penny extra.

This isn't a sci-fi movie: It's a human-made probe snapping a comet selfie

I like noodles

Re: I have to say...

Agreed, and yet there are people commenting on the linked article giving them grief for having it take a selfie. It's sad that for every bunch of amazing people, there is also a bunch of assholes waiting round the next corner.

ROBOT TROUSER SNAKE stiffens to master slippery mounds

I like noodles

Re: Reg Headlines

Indeed Arnaut, if it wasn't for the fact you have to think you understand what you're talking about I'd be applying for a job here.

TEEN RAMPAGE: Kids in iPhone 6 'Will it bend' YouTube 'prank'

I like noodles

Re: >> Thin, mostly plastic objects are snappy.

Yes they were. When you broke them, did they break in two, or into a thousand pieces with bits flying everywhere?

Just the two you say? Indeed. Shatterproof.

Microsoft's Euro cloud darkens: US FEDS can dig into foreign servers

I like noodles



You've managed to combine the subject matter with an absolutely top-notch rant that I completely agree with. Top post sir.

Facebook: Want to stay in touch? Then it's Messenger or NOTHING

I like noodles

Re: The messenger app is actually quite good.

Each to their own - I utterly loathe the floating heads system, I'd much rather just get a notification.

Kids, guess where we're going for Easter? France for a 'software-defined storage experience'

I like noodles

I wouldn't go anywhere near France....

.... at Easter, certainly not the Monday - the whole place is shut. I've had the misfortune to be there two years in a row on Easter Monday and it's nearly impossible to get wine, which clearly is a better reason for being in France than to look at some IT thing.

A black box for your SUITCASE: Now your lost luggage can phone home – quite literally

I like noodles

Re: What is really needed

The Handle?

That only ensures you'd get part of your luggage back and leave you in the same situation as Rhod Gilbert.


Samsung unveils fourth-generation Galaxy Tabs

I like noodles

Re: Bland rehash

Or you could probably just go to cyanogen's page and plug the thing into your pc and do it pain-free in no more than 15 minutes like I did with my s3, but you wouldn't know that as you've obviously not done it.

I like noodles

Why should I have a lower resolution on my tablet than on my phone?

Did somebody say you had to buy one of these?

Zaphod Beeblebrox style third arm cyborg prosthesis unveiled

I like noodles

So this third arm

Would it, ummm, feel like someone else was doing it?

Worlds that could support LIFE found among 715 new planets

I like noodles

Re: Are any of the earth-sized planets NOT tidally locked?

"we might as well colonize immediately"

Immediate colonization is not the way to go. You just send one bloke. He needs to sport a long white dress and a beard.

When he comes back and you're getting all the transport organised, the existing inhabitants will argue, bicker, and fight over said bloke.

By the time you've got everything packed and returned, they'll have got so hot under the collar about their contrasting opinions that they'll have wiped themselves out long ago.

China confirms Jade Rabbit lunar rover has conked out

I like noodles

Re: I have said it before, I will say it again

"perhaps it would be clever to be a bit less nationalistic for all of us"

Good to read some sense in all of these lunar/martian comments.

As far as I'm concerned when 'nauts get into space they aren't American, Russian, Chinese, or any other nationality. They're simply human.

The same applies to robotic kit. In the grand galactical scheme of things, we're all one. And for those that can't see that? - maybe they should have another look at that pale blue dot.

Life support's ABOUT to be switched off, but XP's suddenly COOL again

I like noodles

Re: So if MS have cut the strings on XP

They'd really need the source code though.

Vintage cars wouldn't be quite so easy for third parties to maintain had they been compiled before leaving the factory...

I like noodles

"What moron browses the internet while logged on as Admin?"

These "morons" you speak of - most of them will be completely unaware of even the concept of Admin. These "morons" will most likely believe that all users of a PC have the same amount of access and won't know that it's possible to have different levels of authority. The thought will not even have occurred to them.

These "morons" will include people like your kids, your parents, your siblings, your neighbours, the butcher down the road and the newsagent beside that.

These "morons" are normal intelligent people, who I'm pretty sure make up the vast, vast majority of the population.

You should've asked what geek or nerd does it - and even then I'm certain there'd be way more positives than negatives.

Man sues NASA: Mystery Mars rock is a UFO – an unidentified 'FUNGUS' object

I like noodles

Re: The Pattern

"I't's good to know that I'm not the only one seeing a pattern develop."

This post, yes, this one, is one of those fekking posts that I look at and can't work out if the poster is joking or not. Every logic circuit in my brain is screaming "it's a joke! it's a joke!", but the little nagging voice from just over my shoulder is quietly saying "no, it's not a joke, they're being completely serious"...

DOOMSDAY still just MINUTES AWAY: As it has been since 1947

I like noodles


It was still at 7 minutes. It's like your MOT certificate, it only tells you how safe everything is at the very moment of testing. In another six months all sorts of things can have gone wrong but the certificate still says all is fine. Get it fixed before the next measurement and there's nothing in the record books to show you were in a deathtrap situation somewhere inbetween.

Google is developing flight 'price comparison thing' with us, claims Ryanair boss O'Leary

I like noodles

Re: Ryanair - a mistake you don't make twice

Funny how experiences differ. I've got nothing but praise for Ryanair. I've had plenty of decent city breaks and trips away purely because of the low prices that airlines like Ryanair have brought about.

No, I'm not a shill, I'm just old enough to remember the likes of BM and BA charging me ridiculous fares like £350 to fly from Belfast to London and now I can do it for less than £40 often enough, sometimes even less than £20.

Sure there's no frills, sure you pay heavily for extras, but you pay your money and you make your choice and if it wasn't for the likes of them you'd have no choice.

Lifesize, driveable AIR-POWERED LEGO CAR hits the road

I like noodles

Re: Surely...

4 stroke requires an odd number of cylinders

eh? Are you talking about any 4 stroke engine? Or just one of these rotary/radial doo-hickeys?

Samsung poaches Apple store guru for US retail push

I like noodles

they sell as they are cheap, look like Apple products

Oh, please... I did not buy a Samsung because it looks like an Apple product. I bought it because it was a good phone on a good (not cheap, just good) contract. I've never had any desire for an iPhone, so why on earth would I want something else to look like one?

There's no way I'm alone in that. There's plenty of arguments for and against the merits of either, but the "because it looks like Apple" nonsense needs put to bed.

Beijing leans on Microsoft to maintain Windows XP support

I like noodles

Re: You forgot one thing...

Since it's EOL was announced support for new hardware isn't guaranteed (and I suspect a lot of new wifi dongles/cards don't support XP very well, if at all), and the less said about it's IPv6 support the better.

But had the EOL not been planned, these would be sorted out. And you also appear to be assuming the hardware is knackered too - and that's not necessarily the case either.

Its EOL is when it is mostly for commercial reasons. Because Microsoft wants it to, not because it must.

I like noodles

all good things must come to an end

A saying that's often used and rarely justified. So tell me then, why must all good things come to an end? Or to make it simpler, why must this particular good thing come to an end?

Thai man reportedly dies clutching his scorched iPhone 4S

I like noodles

Re: CE Mark

Yes, but you misunderstand the op - the op isn't talking about them being on sale here, they're talking about them being on sale in China.

Kerching! Nominet preps for cash AVALANCHE from shorter UK domain names

I like noodles

Re: Nomin..ally paying attention to what people asked

"To help with your benefit question: the benefit is to your internet community who need to type it in. Fewer characters make it easier to remember, faster to type, and easier to type without mistakes"

Sorry, but that is one of the crappest arguments I've ever seen.

"Organisations want to make it as simple as possible to be reached by their user base"

And this makes it harder, for the very simple reasons Vince mentioned.

Surface 2 and iPad Air: Prepare to meet YOUR DOOM under a 'Landfill Android' AVALANCHE

I like noodles

Re: MS will win

Maybe my memory is longer than yours, but people said exactly the same thing way back when Microsoft was the new kid in town and nobody got sacked for buying Big Blue.

IBM was everything for business, and MS was shit for enterprise. Windows was for the toy-shop, not serious, no security, no scalability, etc etc.

But who knew? - The toy-shop trinket won the day.

Now MS *is* the Big Blue that they beat the last time. Android will adapt, security will come, enterprise will start to look at it more favourably. Meanwhile MS will burn cash trying to get their foot further in the door. It *has* to make Surface a success as the desktop and laptop markets shrivel up, but it might just burn up all the cash trying.

Ubuntu 13.10 lands on desktops, servers and (er, some) phones

I like noodles

I might return to Linux someday ... ... But hell, it won't be a Canonical distro. I absolutely hate Ubuntu.

I am currently using Mint at home and Windows 7 at work after getting seriously pissed off with Ubuntu after using it for a number of years. I used to like Ubuntu a lot when it was maybe Edgy Eft or Fiesty Fawn.

But I have a suspicion that it's the journey that I'm not enjoying, and that the destination where it finally turns up might just be very much to my liking. Never say never...

Who here needs to explain things to ELEPHANTS?

I like noodles

Re: Something to point with?

Dogs don't understand pointing. Point at something and a dog looks at your finger, not the object.

Umm, so do you. You wouldn't know where it was pointing otherwise.

I like noodles

A fundamental amateur error RoI. When in France, wine should only be entertained by the litre carafe. I recommend one per seat (whether occupied or not)

All rivers flow into the sea: Apple holds TEN PER CENT of corporate America's dosh

I like noodles

Re: What am I missing?

Cos they're holding everybody's cash I presume.

EU move to standardise phone chargers is bad news for Apple

I like noodles

Re: Confusing regulation

Apple has fulfilled whatever requirement the EU has invented for phone chargers.

You can't possibly say that without knowing exactly what requirement they will come up with. The requirement could be as straightforward as "phone must have micro-usb socket"

Now, the funniest thing of all is that each and every new phone comes with: an USB cable for charging and an USB wall charger


Samsung stakes claim to smartwatch market with Galaxy Gear

I like noodles

Re: Battery lasts a day?!

"of the few useful things I can think of for a "smart watch" to do is monitor your sleep, i.e. how much you're tossing"

Oi! Most of us would rather keep that information to ourselves, thanks very much.

Google's Street View cars venture inside TARDIS

I like noodles

Re: Anomolous Astra Appearances?

Have you been taken over by amanfrommars?

Leaked photos of iPhone 5C parts portend ugly Google legal battle

I like noodles

"I bet you'd not be able to tell the difference if a judge held them up at the other end of a court room."

Ah but sure Mr Cook would just have to stand there and theatrically demonstrate that no matter how hard he tries, the buttons simply don't fit, and thereby get off scott-free

Google lifts skirts, reveals Play All Access to UK market

I like noodles

Re: UK vs Euro pricing

Whilst it might get on my goat that they'll charge on a £ = € basis, I don't see why Google should be made to explain (and to whom?).

It's their business, no-one has to use it, so they can charge what they like where they like.

Facebook turns tables on profile stalkers with News Feed tweak

I like noodles

I'm getting very close to binning facebook

and crap like this is what's doing it. Doubt if I'm alone.

Work with Microsoft's stuff for a living? Its reorg will mean NOTHING to you

I like noodles


"After all, Microsoft is still the standard for hundreds of thousands of businesses. And they'd have to retrain millions of staffers before they could make any moves..."

Eh? Wtf is training?

Texas teen jailed for four months over sarcastic Facebook comment

I like noodles

Re: I feel sorry for the family - only!

Are you for real?

If the authorities had any wit, they'd be letting him out and putting you in.

Upturned boat sails to Shed of the Year title

I like noodles

Just know I could better this in my own back garden...

.... but I'd have to lose the wife first :(

Voyager 1 'close' to breaking through to DEEP SPACE - boffins

I like noodles

Re: It's all fun & games until

No no, all fun and games until we get an insurance claim in.

"Dear earth, my client had just started to move from the lights in his Starbus-9000 when your vintage car came along and t-boned him at about 12 miles per second in a 6 miles per second zone. Please attend the galactic court on 43rd of Julember where we intend to claim damages that you should have been saving for since you launched the thing"

Windows 8.1: So it's, er, half-speed ahead for Microsoft's Plan A

I like noodles

Re: Search as primary means of navigation?

This gets to me, Unity is the same.

See in my everyday life? I only search for things if I can't remember where I put them, or if I can't remember where they are.

When I'm in Tesco, if I want beans, I go to the beans. In the house, if I need spanner, I go to where I keep my spanners. Every week when I'm out in the car, I go to the petrol station to get petrol.

I don't search for any of these things - I just go to where I know they are. The only time I search is when I don't know where something is, and it always takes longer than when I know where I put the damn thing.

I would like the same to be true on my fekking computer, Mr Ballmer.

Snowden dodges US agents in Moscow, skips out on flight

I like noodles

Re: It's just a matter of time

"Even the reg calls Snowden a leaker, not a whistle-blower."

Was pondering this myself. Is he a tout, a leaker, a whistle-blower, or a witness?

They all broadly mean much the same, yet the perceived needle goes from "dirty and unacceptable" to "valued and essential" as you move from left to right.

Why the majority of the media seems to push the needle over to the left of this scale without questioning if the right of it is the proper place is disappointing.

NSA hacked China's top carriers in hunt for SMS data - report

I like noodles

Re: AC Stuart Longland Pot, meet Kettle

"But I expect that's news to someone as blinkered as you."

Wow, you're awfully good at drawing a conclusion as the extent of someone's views and insight on the basis of a one-sentence post.

You really need to calm down a bit. Some very childish ranting you've embarked upon here, full of personal insults thrown at people that you don't know.

I'm not suggesting you calm it down to protect the sensibilities of the the commentards-in-general. More to save you embarrassing yourself any further with the rather petulant style you seem to have adopted.

Deary me...

I like noodles
Thumb Down

Re: AC Stuart Longland Pot, meet Kettle

"Because one right I really value is not being blown up or having the aircraft I'm travelling in deliberately crashed into a building by some Islamist nutjob."

And China's chock full of them isn't it.

Police 'stumped' by car thefts using electronic skeleton key

I like noodles

Re: Only a matter of time.

You don't want foolproof security on your car, otherwise you just get creeper burglaries* instead which happens a fair bit now anyway, at least here in NI it does.

I believe there's also been an increase in car-jackings over the years as car security has improved.


* If you don't know what a creeper burglary is:

It's easier to break into your house than your car. So they break into the house and look for the keys. So if you hide your keys? On occasion, if they really want your car, they'll boil the kettle and then bring it upstairs. They'll wake you up, hold the kettle over your head, and demand your keys.

I'd rather they took my car than poured a kettle of boiling water over my head.

Hmm, you do look ill. I prescribe a good dose of mobile data

I like noodles

Here's where a good dose of mobile data is excellent for the ill:

Within the last month I spent a week in a hospital bed.

My 3 "all-you-can-eat" data plan enabled me to watch TVCatchup on my phone all week, thereby meaning I could watch whatever channel I wanted, get it in decent resolution, and saved me forking out £15 quid of the "pocket money" my other half gave me on the tv and phone system above the bed.

It also meant I could use my own headphones rather than those provided that may well have previously sat over numerous pairs of seriously-ill and possibly contagious ears, so it was good for my health as well as my pocket.

It's a fiddle! Funnyman's Irish tax flashmob floods Apple flagship store

I like noodles

Re: Corporation tax seems silly.

The questions that the sheep protesters about corporate tax 'immorality' keep forgetting to ask are:

I think you are missing the point. To most, the rights and wrongs of the existence of corporation tax is, I suggest, irrelevant. What is relevant to them is adherence to the rules.

I would guess that most people's complaint is more along the lines of "I go by the rules, I pay the tax I'm told to, I don't get given the option to negotiate how much tax I pay. If I have to do that, then so should everyone else"

If the rules are wrong, certainly challenge the rules - but joe public doesn't see these corporates as challenging the rules, it just sees them as breaking the rules. That difference makes the difference. That is what people complain about.

Apple declares WAR on Spotify: iRadio bags streaming rights

I like noodles

Re: Please make it cheaper than Spotify

Spotify already has competition - after trying out every freebie period I could find to do a comparison of streamers on android, I opted for rdio and I think it's pretty good.

How smart does your desk phone need to be?

I like noodles

No Speaker required

A speaker? At an average open-plan office desk? For meeting rooms maybe but not at your desk where a headset is of more benefit



Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2020