* Posts by drand

61 posts • joined 15 Nov 2012

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UK.gov's Verify has 'significantly' missed every target, groans spending watchdog

drand
Headmaster

Mixing metaphors is a pain in the neck and should be weeded out.

Florida man's deadliest catch forces police to evacuate Taco Bell

drand

Here fishy fishy

I've never been into the whole fishing thing but I do keep an aquarium. I never knew fish were magnetic though. Amazing what you learn.

Nissan EV app password reset prompts user panic

drand
Coat

Juke hazard

I came here to pointout that picture is of a Nissan Juke, but someone's got there first. While I'm not a fan of downsized turbocharged engines with a high boost threshold and boring torque plateau, I think in the context of EV's the Juke does qualify as having a 'proper engine'. Nissan CG series all the way for me. And yes, I am wearing an anorak, which I shall fetch forthwith and leave.

Edit - picture title even has 'Juke' in it so maybe I don't deserve as many i-spy points as I first thought.

Found yet another plastic nostalgia knock-off under the tree? You, sir, need an emulator

drand

F/A 18 Interceptor

Many, many hours spent playing this on my A500 (with 1meg upgrade) when I was about 10. I was fascinated with the cardboard code wheel that was needed to start the game. I could never complete the fourth mission though, even when I shot everything down and landed on the Russian sub carrier.

Amazon robot fingered for bear spray leak that hospitalised 24 staffers

drand
Joke

No Bears

To be fair, there haven't been any bear sightings in that Amazon facility since.

Samsung's graphene batteries promise to charge five times faster – without exploding

drand
Headmaster

Re: Not Samsung

It's the rogue apostrophe that gives it away, innit?

Space station springs a leak while astronauts are asleep (but don't panic)

drand
Thumb Up

A wise old engineer once said to me:

If you can't fix it with duct tape, you're not using enough duct tape.

Fruit flies use the power of the sun to help them fly in straight lines

drand
Coat

Time flies...

like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.

Tech team trapped in data centre as hypoxic gas flooded in. Again

drand

> Ours has a 30 second stand-off.

Our inert gas system does too, plus it has a seven-segment display on the outside of the room counting down the seconds. It's gone off twice (both times over the weekend, with no-one about) but I'm waiting for the day it goes off when I'm in there and I can casually stroll out with one second left on the clock..

Drug cops stopped techie's upgrade to question him for hours. About everything

drand

Re: Made it here first!

I'm quoting the school councillor in Southpark, whose character is there to take the piss out of the 'Just Say No' approach to drugs (include alcohol if you wish) education. It's what came into my head when I pictured the article's drug enforcement officers, happily enforcing without understanding.

drand

Re: Made it here first!

Drugs are bad. Mmmmkay?

Crappy IoT on the high seas: Holes punched in hull of maritime security

drand

Stay away from the South China Sea

It's almost the plot of Tomorrow Never Dies (different method, same outcome)! Frightening but not surprising.

How's this for a stocking filler next year? El Reg catches up with Gemini

drand
Thumb Up

Resistance has finally gone

Been umming and aahing about whether to commit to the Indiegogo but having seen this I know I'm going to do it. Fuck it, it's Christmas and the money is pouring away like a rancid bottle of mulled wine down the sink anyhow.

BlackBerry's new Motion will move you neither to tears of joy nor sadness

drand
Meh

Re: USP

The Gemini people are at GITEX too.

Does El Reg have any updates for us after your fondle of the prototypes a month ago? That would be more exciting than a new BB that no-one will buy, no matter how decent it is.

Pumpkin bumpkins battle, 800kg monstrosity wins

drand
Pint

Re: That's an impressive pie!

Not surprised if it was a Bavarian pumpkin. They don't mess around with portion sizes over there. Though you might not fancy any dessert once you've eaten a pork knuckle the size of your head.

Beer icon because German stereotype!

Is this cough cancer, doc? No: it's a case of Playmobil on the lung

drand
Coat

Playmobil or id didn't happen

Oh...

Ducks ding dongs in face of stiff competition

drand
Coat

Quack!

It's a grower not a shower

China can't find anyone smart enough to run its whizzbang $180m 1,640ft radio telescope

drand
Coat

Re: I would do it...

I would do it

ditto

But I'm totally unqualified in every way

ditto

However, I frequently wear my underwear on the outside so I may be able to blag the superhero part.

Mappy days! Ordnance Survey offers up free map of UK greenery

drand

Re: On this side of the pond...

It's ordnance, and it means what you suggest. They started off a few hundred years ago surveying (i.e. making maps) for ordnance, on account the English picking fights with everyone.

Several interesting background articles on the web explain the history of the OS.

US engineer in the clink for wrecking ex-bosses' smart meter radio masts with Pink Floyd lyrics

drand
Thumb Up

Bala Cynwyd, Pennsylvania

Nice to know there's a bit of Wales in the US of A. I wonder if they have the same suicidal sheep.

Horror in space: Hot alien giant boiled alive by nasty radiation-belching star

drand

A day at the beach for The Great Old Ones

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

Huawei P10 Plus: The bigger brother is the real contender

drand

Multi-touch fingerprint sensor

The new Moto G5 (and I assume G5 Plus too) has this feature and after the few hours training one's thumb it proves a great way to navigate through android. Short / medium / long presses combine with vibration to let you control home / lock screen / launch app. It does occasionally require a more exaggerated left or right swipe than seems necessary but on the whole I much prefer it to the usual on-screen buttons.

Man nicked trying to 'save' beer from burning building

drand
Pint

Give the chap the benefit of the doubt

Maybe he hoped to quench the flames with the cans of liquid. Much better idea than drinking it.

Robo-Uber T-boned, rolls onto side, self-driving rides halted

drand

SRIMECH

Have they learned nothing from Robot Wars? These things need a self-righting mechanism. Then when it's flipped over it can push the offending car into a conveniently located pit.

Internet of Sh*t has an early 2017 winner – a 'smart' Wi-Fi hairbrush

drand
Paris Hilton

Topiary

The wonk said "Our customers see their hair as intimate expressions of their identities..."

I never thought there would be device for combing intimate hair. The mind boggles. Though reading the article I was happily reminded of Lawnmower Deth's excellent ditty 'Can I cultivate your groinal garden?'. Paris 'cos, well, it's Paris.

This is not a drill: Hackers pop stock Nexus 6P in five minutes

drand

Re: 10^77 years...

"

That's because being able to successfully hack the device on your first attempt is a million-to-one long shot.

"

and everyone knows that million-to-one chances come good nine times out of ten [Terry Pratchett].

Virtual reality is actually made of smartphones

drand
Stop

This is commentard bait...

... and I am not biting.

Brexit at the next junction: Verity's guide to key post-vote skills

drand

Re: All this olde worlde unit stuff...

Yes. It hath been foretold: the Sons of Kahn shall ride out to reclaim England's green and pleasant land.

Revolutionary Brit-made SABRE hybrid rocket engine to burn in 2020

drand
Happy

Re: Fantastic

No need to even go as far as the Isle of Wight, just go straight up.

drand
Meh

A looooong few years

I want Skylon to happen, but:

"

We should see the engine test unit firing by the end of the decade – with a full aircraft expected a few years after that.

"

Well it's a good job they've got it all spec'd, design chilled, supply chain prepped, prototype vehicle with conventional jets in build ready for SABRE integration etc. etc.

Going to be very long wait.

'Massive great big' vulture goes AWOL in Somerset

drand

Re: Bloody big bird

perhaps a Great Bustard if it was over Salisbury Plain, recently[ish] re-introduced to the UK.

Huawei Honor 5X: Swishy fingerprint tech for the mid-range

drand
Unhappy

No 5GHz wi-fi?

I was about to buy one until I compared side-by-side with the Honor 7. The 5X appears to have lost the dual-bandiness, which is a shame (there are a squillion 2.4GHz networks on every channel invading my gaff, so 5 gig is a big plus for me.)

IoT lacking that je ne sais quoi? Try the IoTSP

drand
Stop

Bong!

Steve is missing his writing credit for this one, no?

Brit censors endure 10-hour Paint Drying movie epic

drand
Happy

Never mind cinematic release

I reckon this is good enough for the Turner prize.

Does anyone know what their broadband costs? The ASA hopes to change that

drand
Trollface

Re: 3D & Hoverboards

They only do it because they can't advertise them as Twatboards before the watershed.

The last time Earth was this hot hippos lived in Britain (that’s 130,000 years ago)

drand
Go

I, for one,...

...welcome our temperate hippo overlords.

Activist investors want tepid Yahoo! to reboot crashed Marissa Mayer

drand

New Reg...

RIP! the! predictable! Yahoo! article! headline!

It looks like you're sticking to your new year's resolution. Have a biscuit.

Lithium-air: A battery breakthrough explained

drand
Boffin

Check out this cool new battery hack!

I'm off to attack the battery in my phone with a screwdriver to let some air in!

Connected kettles boil over, spill Wi-Fi passwords over London

drand
Coat

Hot water

"

Munro has plotted vulnerable iKettles in London on Google Maps but opted not to disclose it to prevent things boiling over.

"

Well He wouldn't want to land himself in hot water, would he?

Pimp your TV: Goggle box gadgets and gizmos

drand
Thumb Up

Tibo Plus 2

Tibo Plus 2 is a cheaper alternative to the Dali Kubik. Built in amp, 2 optical in, RCA in, 3.5 in, BT4.0 with multiple remembered devices, USB power out round the back (connected to my Qi charging pad), remote control and includes a passive mate. I'm not going to spout audiophile guff about them but they sound good to me.

At richer sounds, though I got mine slightly cheaper on Amazon. Not the loudest, but loud enough, and they do a Plus 3 with more oomph if you need it.

Amazon Echo: We put Jeff Bezos' always-on microphone-speaker in a Reg family home

drand
Trollface

Four out of five stars.

Oooh, you are mischievous.

The ONE WEIRD TRICK which could END OBESITY

drand
Pint

Re: craft it smaller

Real men/women drink halves. In a pint glass if you like, but you get to sample more different beers and you feel less inclined to finish half a litre of what you don't want or like just because it's there. Macho necking pints culture is the enemy of good beer.

Stealth service – Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain

drand
Headmaster

Tactical manœuvres

Have a well done for a stealthily employed dipthong.

On the subject of the game, I'm so glad to see positive reviews and it just might make me part with some cash for a next-gen console*. Though it is a shame to a conspicuously-chested and under-attired female in one of the screenshots.

* or suitable PC if you lean that way. Wouldn't want that argument to break out again.

Ashley Madison wide open to UK privacy lawsuits, claim lawyers

drand

Indeed - anyone with a security clearance who's on that list - especially a DV - will be expecting a tap on the shoulder.

drand

And another thing...

It's not just the people on the list who gave accurate information and were using the site for its intended purpose who might like to take legal action, is it?

It's those who were signed up maliciously and discovered AM performed no verification that the owner of the email address was consenting to creating an account.

China's best phone yet: Huawei P8 5.2-inch money-saving Android smartie

drand
Headmaster

Re: Wrong battery specs

3450 is a reference to a Blackberry the author is comparing the P8 to.

"

Note that the P8 doesn’t support either Fast Charging or any kind of wireless charging. In fact, the phone was the slowest charger of any I’ve tried, bar the BlackBerry Passport.

But that beast has a stonking 3450mAh battery, and you’d expect that to take a lot longer to power up.

"

Sharing Economy latest: Women's breast milk is the new 'liquid gold' of the internet

drand
Stop

Caution advised

Fair play to mothers making some cash from spare lactations - as a pro-breastfeeding father of two I wonder how much all those bags of expressed milk in the freezer would have been worth had I not chucked them away - but there is a small but still-there risk of passing Hepatitis C through breast milk, so buying it through any old source on t'internetz is A Bad Idea.

Intel imagines chips in nappies to create the Internet of sh*t things

drand
Stop

Sometimes...

... you'll be pleased it's only brown. Heaven help you when you get a 'CODE GREEN.. POSSIBLY WITH BITS IN' and a buffer overflow onto the carpet.

The internet IS a series of tubes. Kinda: A Reg 101 guide to cabling

drand

Re: Airflow

Bundles of copper cabling, due either to careless or unavaoidable routing*, obstructuing airflow to switches/servers I'd imagine.

* could be a pun here but it's too early in the morning.

BLOOD STAR of the NEANDERTHALS passed close to our Sun

drand
Alert

0.8AU or 0.8 Light Years?

0.8 AU in the sub-heading got my attention, but the text seems to suggest 0.8 light years, which is more comforting.

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