* Posts by Dr_N

962 posts • joined 12 Nov 2012

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Mobes 'n' mattresses flinger Xiaomi growing like the clappers – outside China, at least

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Very happy phone and Stratos watch user here.

Wanted a rice cooker but it wouldn't fit in my luggage.

2 weeks till Brexit and Defra, at the very least, looks set to be caught with its IT pants down

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Re: Ha

codejunky "Lie Lie Lie Lie"

Quite.

And don't forget the "BREAKING POINT!" MILLIONS OF MUSLIMS invading the UK due a simpler Schengen visa system for non-diplomatic Turkish VIPs!!!

Than one really help push Brexit over the line.

Ah.

No.

That was one of ones YOU helped peddle.

My bad.

No guns or lockpicks needed to nick modern cars if they're fitted with hackable 'smart' alarms

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Re: And here is yet another example why

Just order a fleet/business)rental version. Many manufacturers are leaving the connected parts out of those models.

What happens when security devices are insecure? Choose the nuclear option

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French Government website UIs...

... still take their design cues from Minitel.

Why are there never free power sockets when my Y-fronts need charging?

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US laptop cable...

...with an EU plug adaptor on the end fits almost everywhere in the world, with some jiggling. (Screwdriver to open the "earth shutter" on UK sockets.)

Also if you lose your 3 pin IEC laptop mains cable, just find a standard two-pin figure-of-eight "cassette player" style cable and slice out the rubber between the two pins.

It'll then fit the laptop block 3-pin socket perfectly.

All academic for me now as I have a Thunderbolt powered Lenovo and have now finally achieved the travel holy grail of one USB power supply. (Folding US pin version, natch.)

Return of the audio format wars and other money-making scams

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Joke

Re: Tracks nearest the centre sound worst

That's why true audio purists only use wax cylinders.

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rPngg

Ahh Audiophilia. Homeopathy for gramophone users.

AKA: bLLks.

If you want a vision of the future, imagine not a boot stamping on a face, but keystroke logging on govt contractors' PCs

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Re: What muppet agrees to pay per hour?

Starace> On the upside I see an emerging black market for work-simulation software to stimulate the work-monitoring applications...

You mean Homer's nodding drinking bird?

Hungover this morning? Thought 'beer before wine and you'll be fine'? Boffins prove old adage just isn't true

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....Pint of Alka Seltza ASAP in the morning if you forget the water at night.

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Pint of water before bed. Can of Coke in the morning. Sorted. (Kinda.)

How I got horizontal with a gimp and untangled his cables

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Used toilet paper based economy ?

Sounds like the new Tory Post-Brexit plan.

Trolling in the Reg's forums... we mean, er, 'working' on the train still rubbish thanks to patchy data coverage

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Trollface

3G is good enough...

...for people on public transport.

It's not like they're being forced to use WAP over GPRS or anything.

[This Post Was Brought To You In Glorious 4G From The Comfort Of My Own Home.]

Cheap call? Hardly. GSM gateway judicial review to settle whether UK Home Sec can legally push comms watchdog around

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Re: "eye-wateringly high per-minute rates demanded by telcos back in the early 2000s"

>Back in the 90s mobile phones didn't do data, just calls and texts.

Wrong.

You used to even have extra numbers associated with the SIM for incoming fax and data.

Romford Station, smile! You're in London cops' final facial recog 'trial'

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Re: How does one decline to be scanned?

"How does one decline to be scanned?"

Really Ugly T-Shirt

Or a Squidsuit.

Whats(goes)App must come down... World in shock as Zuck decides to intertwine Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp

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Let's see here...

Facebook? No.

Instagram? Nope.

Whatsap? Nuh.

Ok doesn't affect me so knock yourselves out, Facebook!

Straight outta Blighty: Readers, if you were a tech billionaire, what would you do?

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Re: Britain Needs Us Billionaires

>I'm a billionaire

Rank hypocrisy isn't the only thing in vogue at present. Bare-faced lying is popular too, it seems.

The Iceman cometh, his smartwatch told the cops: Hitman jailed after gizmo links him to Brit gangland slayings

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Re: A high viz vest?

>DoE nearly had the alternative meaning.

Department Of Energy?

The Large Hadron Collider is small beer. Give us billions more for bigger kit, say boffins

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BFCC

A better moniker Shurely?

World's first robot hotel massacres half of its robot staff

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Terminator

I've stayed at one of the Tokyo ones.

It was the least roboty of their 2 hotels in Tokyo. The checkin-bots were a bit scary looking but otherwise a nice enough business hotel.

The "Handy" free 4G phone in each room is useful. As is the LG Steamer Closet. [chortle]

Amazon Mime: We train (badly) an AI love bot using divorce bombshell Bezos' alleged sexts to his new girlfriend

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As someone recently said ...

"What are you, a fucking 8-year-old?"

CES flicks the off switch on massager award… and causes a buzz

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"which looks like a black-and-white photo of a Great Dane turd”

New app oppo: DogEggr

Border guards probe 'suspicious bulge' in man's trousers to find he's packing fluffies

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Security guy was so surprised ...

... he probably had a stroke.

Hope they didn't get ill travelling. Otherwise:

Meow Cats What I Call Mew Sick

My 2019 resolution? Not to buy any of THIS rubbish

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"What are you, a fucking 8-year-old?"

We all need to apply this thinking more, to more areas, in 2019.

Oregon can't stop people from calling themselves engineers, judge rules in Traffic-Light-Math-Gate

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Re: Oregon Engineers

Yeah, I did that over the summer and the "fuel engineer" went ballistic.

Apple blew my mind – literally, says woman: MagSafe plug sparked face-torching blaze, lawsuit claims

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"Ignited the oxygen", eh?

Case dismissed due to scientific ignorance.

Next!

Oz cops investigating screams of 'why don't you die?' find bloke in battle with spider

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Pint

Re: I often wondered...

Beer for Deathworld ref.

The Great British Curry: Put down the takeaway, you're cooking tonight

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I used to cook curries from scratch...

... but now I just use Parampara spice mixes.

Piece of **** to use, even when already 3 sheets.

'Year-long' delay to UK 5G if we spike Huawei deals, say telcos

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Re: Do we need 5G?

Terry 6> Thing is I do make voice calls. And I've never found a mobile as easy to hear or indeed to hold, as my landline.

https://www.opis-tech.com/en/shop/telphones

No need to thank me.

Happy Yuletide.

London's Gatwick airport suspends all flights after 'multiple' reports of drones

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Re: BBC 1pm news update

"This might be a good time to put one of our large military drones with its really good cameras high over Gatwick.”

They're scared of using buckshot.

Think of the damage that a Watchkeeper will cause when it inevitably crashes !!

Pork pulled: Plug jerked out of beacon of bacon delight

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Japan to the rescue!

All is not lost The Lawson convenience store chain still has their Robo Fried chicken.

Oh Deer! Poacher sentenced to 12 months of regular Bambi screenings in the cooler

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Re: Move to France

>Considering that last season (and the last few years), 90% of victims were hunters, your claims aren't really honest. And hunter can get convicted of manslaughter.

Easy for someone to say if they don't have to run the gauntlet every week.

They rarely even get banned from hunting.

I think one got put away (for a whole 4 months) for the 1st time this year for a murder he committed in 2015.

BTW I'm not anti gun. Everyone should be allowed to carry a sidearm in the French countryside to deter agressive hunters. (The local equivalent of park rangers certainly do.)

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Move to France

He should have moved to France:

Where hunters are free to wander in public with loaded, unbroken weapons and murder mountain bikers and old ladies just sitting in their garden, with very little legal action or jail time imposed.

The Palm Palm: The Derringer of smartphones

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Re: 2nd phone

They used to be offered for built-in 8W carphones, but have long since dropped by the wayside.

You can set call forwarding up to switch between phone when one or the other is off.

Alternatively you can get multiple data SIMs off the same account and just use a voip number.

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Nice concept!

And good to see someone designing something other than the usual slabs.

Pity about the 8hr battery life and the ridiculous £350 pricetag.

Boffins build blazing battery bonfire

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Trollface

Re: Interesting idea

AC> The fundamental elephants in the room are:

That obvious trolls are obvious?

Oh, I wish it could be Black Friday every day-aayyy, when the wallets start jingling but it's still a week till we're paiii-iid

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Stop

And to those Brits who celebrate Thanksgiving:

Just stop it.

Holy moley! The amp, kelvin and kilogram will never be the same again

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Re: A modest proposal

I thought the kibblegram was the SI measure for weight of useless accumulated dross that people acquire/hoard. (Or that just randomly appears in your house/garage/shed.)

Where to implant my employee microchip? I have the ideal location

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FAIL

Implanting ourselves with animal tagging tech?

How very Captain Cyborg. ™®

And Passé.

AI face recog is where the real money can be wasted.

Townsfolk left deeply unsatisfied by Bury St Edmunds' 'twig' of a Christmas tree

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Trollface

War On Christmas ®™?

Maybe they should have just gone for a big yule log instead.

My hoard of obsolete hardware might be useful… one day

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Re: Bin it all.

"My existence is supported by the things around me, even when they're no longer of any practical use"

Demijohns of your own urine in the attic to, huh?

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Bin it all.

Just Do It. √

Feels great once you break your compulsive hoarding disorder.

Which scientist should be on the new £50 note? El Reg weighs in – and you should vote, too

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Pint

James Prescott Joule

Icon says it all.

BT: We're stocking warehouses with kit ahead of Brexit to avoid shortages

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Pint

Re: A timely reminder...

"You do realise Scotland is part of the UK? For now at least."

You do know you can get great single malt from a variety of sources outside the UK, right?

Grab a bottle of Yamazaki 12 Year Old.

Woman who hooked up with over 15 spectres has found her forever phantom after whirlwind romance and plane sex

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Phantom Pregnancy

Is that what you get when you play about with goulies?

The Chinese are here: Xiaomi to bring phones to the UK next month

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Re: Excellent phones

Telling MIUI not to battery optimise apps is fairly straight forward.

And if it's still not your cup of tea then there are now the Android One version phones. (I don't like 'em, but can see why people would.)

Sorry friends, I'm afraid I just can't quite afford the Bitcoin to stop that vid from leaking everywhere

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"Hang on... I think I've come up against a snag. "

Fnar.

"singing badly to Nine Inch Nails”

Oh the humanity! I'd pay not to see that.

Erm... what did you say again, dear reader?

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"As a foreign speaker of English ... "

Is it particularly difficult fir Americans?

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Pfffft.

Right?

Silent running: Computer sounds are so '90s

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Re: PC noises

@Antron Argaiv

"every woman in high heels"

So are men in highheels silent?

Highheel Ninja?!

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Re: Ringtones are cringworthy

Rol> Due to my overindulgence of strong white cider

Are 14 year olds allowed to post on here?

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