* Posts by Nolveys

678 posts • joined 6 Nov 2012

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From dank memes to Krispy Kremes: British uni eggheads claim viral lol pics make kids fat

Nolveys
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Headmaster

there is always somebody who is thinner than average

Not true, only 50% of the time.

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Once more with feeling: Windows 10 October 2018 Update inches closer to relaunch

Nolveys
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Windows

Re: I'm just wondering

Constant uproar in the IT area of a company will inevitably have consequences on revenue at some point.

I doubt it. MS has been sodomizing their "customers" for decades and the customers just keep coming back for more.

It's like watching an episode of "COPS" (is that still a thing?) where the police go on a domestic. There's some mullet-headed grease ball and a burn-out woman with an eye swollen shut, blood everywhere and teeth missing saying "Bobby-Joe done did this, but he don't mean it! He loves me!" The sane thing for her to do would be to go to a woman's shelter and sort her life out, but you just know that she'll stay with Bobby-Joe and receive regular beatings for ever and ever.

It doesn't matter what happens to them, the people who make the software purchasing decisions will always jump at the opportunity to skip gleefully through the gates of hell. And you know what? I'm fine with it.

I used to hate this state of affairs, but at some point I realized that being paid by the hour to fix a perpetual nuclear cluster-fuck ain't that bad. The trick is to abandon all hope for the future of computing. Just crank the cynicism to 11 and set the "rapetastic hourly rate" toggle switch to the on position.

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Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella is worth 154 median minions

Nolveys
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Trollface

Re: You keep using that word...

Can people please stop using the words "worth" or "earned" to describe how much CEOs and others of their ilk pay themselves and each other?

But SatNad did such a good job on Windows 10.

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Open-source this, open-source that, and the end of the Windows 10 Creators Update

Nolveys
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Windows

Re: Too True.....

Does it shite, it worked perfectly in 7, to the point where winkey+type became an unconcious action. In 10 it became winkey+type... wait a bit while 10 stirs itself from a cloudy stupor...

The trick is to adjust your own personal timing to match the timing of the UI. 750ml of vodka will get you there*.

* Until your tolerance builds.

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Nolveys
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Gimp

Re: Too True.....

Far more reliable to do win-r and type the actual name of the executable and ignore the start menu completely...

Doesn't seem to work too well for running things as administrator. I've taken to right-clicking on the desktop and creating a shortcut to cmd.exe and then right-clicking on that and running as administrator.

I'd love if there were a more "win+r"-ish way to do this. Any suggestions?

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Microsoft Windows 10 October update giving HP users BSOD

Nolveys
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Windows

Shove It Out The Door

As much as I hate Microsoft (and I do), this seems to be a symptom of some larger problem. Almost everything these days seems to be loaded with high-tech features that are of use to no one, are poorly or not-at-all tested and have bloated, broken and idiotic UIs.

There was a time when vacuum cleaners were made like tanks. There are probably perfectly functioning vacuum cleaners under 50 years of garbage accumulation out in the landfills of western civilization. The companies that made these vacuum cleaners are pretty much all long gone, once people had their tank-vacuums then they didn't ever need any new vacuums and the companies went out of business.

Over time durable goods became less and less durable as the time between one sale and the next depends on lack of durability. Now it is almost impossible to purchase anything that isn't garbage.

Of course software is not a durable good, but it seems to to be following the same pattern. Slap something together, make it pretty (for very strange values of "pretty"), load it up with bullshit and shove it out the door. Fitness for purpose isn't an afterthought, it's never thought of at all.

Something has gone very wrong.

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Uncle Sam gives itself the right to shoot down any drone, anywhere, any time, any how

Nolveys
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Re: Inevitable

Is yout civilian aircraft a drone if autopilot engaged?

That depends on who or what the autopilot is getting married to.

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NSA dev in the clink for 5.5 years after letting Kaspersky, allegedly Russia slurp US exploits

Nolveys
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Windows

Re: Kaspersky 'Standalone Virus Removal Tool'

AC: Interesting posts. Would upvote if I could easily find verification. Sadly, a quick search of Google through a haze of vodka doesn't yield results.

5 years at 68 has to suck hard, not much paper left on the bog roll at that point. Maybe just stupidity and a love for his work? Maybe supervisors wanting more than he could provide without doing some work on the sly? I'm not smelling a lot of malice, but I'm also not feeling particularly informed.

My advice: only work for the government if you make obscene amounts of money and never ever do any actual work.

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Cookie clutter: Chrome saves Google cookies from cookie jar purges

Nolveys
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Big Brother

The Fonz Vs The Sharknado

Back in the early zeros Google could do no wrong. Their services were excellent, sometimes even revolutionary. They generally seemed to act with some measure of morality, or at least not in the despicable way that typified most of the rest of the computing industry.

Then they jumped the shark.

Now we have deteriorating services, increasingly shady practices and slime-ball antics. Just a few short years ago an article like this would come out only once or twice a month. Now it's every day, and the "creepy asshole" factor is through the roof. The rate of decay is accelerating.

If you work in anything web-related then Google is almost completely unavoidable. Many platforms have hard dependencies on Google Maps and Google tracking services. This doesn't seem to be getting better as it becomes more and more blatantly obvious what Google is really about.

Google has already turned into a creepy nightmare from hell. I really don't want to think where we will find ourselves in ten years time.

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Facebook sued for exposing content moderators to Facebook

Nolveys
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Re: You can find right wingers saying the same thing

Although I still haven't figured out what the actually definitions of left wing and right wing.

Those are two groups that are pitted against each other in order to distract the public.

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A spot of Python in your Azure automation? Step right this way, sir

Nolveys
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Windows

Re: Python 2 support

print as a function still kicks my ass though.

I'm still on 2, but I have finally kicked my parentheses-less print habit.

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Git it girl! Academy tries to tempt women into coding with free course

Nolveys
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Female programmers are badly needed

If only men are employed as programmers then there won't be enough people to outsource.

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Sextortion scum armed with leaked credentials are persistent pests

Nolveys
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Trollface

Meanwhile, in Scotland...

"Honey, look at the email these fools sent me! They think they can extort money from me by claiming that they have a video of me pleasuring myself to internet porn! How silly is that?"

"Baaaaa!"

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Microsoft gives Windows 10 a name, throws folks a bone

Nolveys
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Windows

You'll downvote me for this but Libreoffice is missing the key feature of having everything I need in the same menu location that it is in Office.

That went out the window for me once the ribbon came along.

I miss WordPerfect 5.1.

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No need to code your webpage yourself, says Microsoft – draw it and our AI will do the rest

Nolveys
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Re: The return of front page

Anything which lowers the barriers to non technical people creating content on the web is good.

I like the sentiment, but Front Page was an abomination. It was like a printing press that used plague corpses instead of paper.

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Lawyers sued for impersonating rival firm online to steal clients

Nolveys
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Headmaster

Are they going to act in their own defence?

My understanding is that their strategy is to impersonate the plaintiffs.

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Apache's latest SNAFU – Struts normal, all fscked up: Web app framework needs urgent patching

Nolveys
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Windows

Re: Struts?

Apparently never heard of Struts

I'd heard of it, just didn't remember anything about it. I might have taken a look at the Wikipedia page at some point long enough to see "Java" and then close the tab as my brain made an audible flushing noise.

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Nolveys
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Struts?

What's this Struts malarkey about?

Java

Oh, that's your problem right there.

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One-in-two JavaScript project audits by NPM tools sniff out at least one vulnerability...

Nolveys
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Windows

Last time I looked, JavaScript just sucked in whatever shit was current on some other guy's website and you picked up whatever malware they were distributing that day.

Yup. I love visiting sites that don't work for reasons that don't require javascript, but use it anyway. Then I click on the NoScript button and briefly wonder domain(s) in the pages of schlarf would make the page work. Then I close the tab.

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Fire chief says Verizon throttled department's data in the middle of massive Cali wildfires

Nolveys
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We are sorry about the limitations of your unlimited plan...

However, in the immortal words of Enron, "Burn, baby, burn".

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What happens to your online accounts when you die?

Nolveys
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Re: Get a Power of Attorney

Wouldn't a PC and phone be considered tools of the receptionist's trade?

Nah, just the handgun.

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Self-driving cars will be safe, we're testing them in a massive AI Sim

Nolveys
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Windows

Re: "It's a synthetic digital model of the real world,"

Any car system that gets approved with this simulator is going to have the Approved for Perfect Road Conditions award. Big deal.

Actually, it looks like the simulator will be quite extensive. Some of the mockups that have been provided by government officials look very impressive:

Mockup 1

Mockup 2

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Distro inferno: Debian's still rocking at 25

Nolveys
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Thumb Up

Re: Devuan +1

Yet another convert to Devuan.

Me too, posting from a machine running Devuan right now. Three boxes down, two to go.

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Hello darkness my old friend, what happened last week in Redmond?

Nolveys
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Windows

Re: @big_D

In my experience, there's very little point using on Windows, too...

It's quite useful for downloading other browsers.

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UK taxman told: IR35 still isn't working in the public sector, and you want to take it private?

Nolveys
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Windows

Maybe in 20 years when the UK IT industry no longer exists the government might wake up and realise this wasn't such a good idea after all.

That will happen right after cats learn to team up in order to operate motor vehicles.

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Span hits F#, LinkedIn gets mumbly, and UWP (yes, it's still clinging on) furnished with new toys

Nolveys
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Windows

Re: Does UWP have a purpose, yet?

Your UWP app could also be run on Android, iOS, MacOS and Tizen if you use Xamarin.

"Bessie, I dun told you that you'd best learn to ride that bicycle else you'd get a whoopin!"

WACK! WACK! WACK! WACK!

(frantic mooing)

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Doctor, doctor, I feel like my IoT-enabled vacuum cleaner is spying on me

Nolveys
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Re: Useless warranties

Unless I were present I literally couldn't.

Couldn't you use the cameras in the vacuum cleaners?

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Nolveys
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Re: superuser rights on the vacuum

The chain of reasoning really needs to start before the point of assuming that a floor sweeper is in need of an OS of any kind.

It's hard to have decent AI without an underlying operating system and without decent AI we will never be able to teach vacuum cleaners to drive cars.

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Fake prudes: Catholic uni AI bot taught to daub bikinis on naked chicks

Nolveys
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Trollface

Perhaps version 2 would replace online images of priests with pictures of naked women

Or at least replace the alter boy with pants.

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Fix this faxing hell! NHS told to stop hanging onto archaic tech

Nolveys
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Big Brother

Re: The name that stands out in the BBC version of the article

Deepmind can't slurp Fax machines as easily!

I was just going to say that I've never seen a fax machine hacked, encrypt stuff and then ransom people, etc.

What do you suppose the cost/benefits of ditching the faxes would be?

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Sysadmin cracked military PC’s security by reading the manual

Nolveys
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Pci compliance failure failure

I used to subcontract to someone who did pci compliance tests. One time a bunch of issues came up and we worked to patch them. As we patched things and modified configs the issues went away one by one until only one remained.

Supposedly the remaining issue should have been covered by a software upgrade we did, but it persisted. My boss had to go do other things and left me to investigate. I downloaded the exploit reference code and ran it against the server...nothing. I mucked around with the code and still nothing.

After hours and hours of trying to get the exploit to work my boss called me. Turned out he hadn't quite scrolled to the end of the pci scan list and was looking at the second last report in the list, the one right before the service in question had been upgraded.

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When Google's robots give your business the death sentence – who you gonna call?

Nolveys
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Re: @Hamish Sadly Not Really New

Surely it would be "Do no evil" to "Do know evil", amirite??

See, hear and speak no evil.

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Sysadmin shut down server, it went ‘Clunk!’ but the app kept running

Nolveys
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Re: I crashed a server once, at client site

although we do get more opportunity to appreciate the "measure twice, cut once" rule

Why is the server down and why are you holding a gas powered angle grinder?

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Science fiction legend Harlan Ellison ends his short time on Earth

Nolveys
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Windows

Prisoners of Gravity

You can find some Ellison interviews on the "Prisoners of Gravity" episodes that can be found on Youtube. The show was low-budget and the premise was goofy, but they somehow managed to interview the likes of Clive Barker, Ray Bradbury, David Brin, Charles de Lint, Harlan Ellison, William Gibson, Frederik Pohl, Terry Pratchett, Anne Rice, Spider Robinson, Robert J. Sawyer, Chris Claremont, Will Eisner, Neil Gaiman, Bob Kane, Jack Kirby, Stan Lee, Daniel Clowes, Scott McCloud, Frank Miller, Alan Moore and many more.

Well worth a look, in my opinion.

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Foot lose: Idiot perv's shoe-mounted upskirt vid camera explodes

Nolveys
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Windows

If only there was a law banning morons.

Wouldn't that cause the government to collapse?

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IBM memo to staff: Our CEO Ginni is visiting so please 'act normally!'

Nolveys
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Mushroom

Re: Another indication of....

In 5 years, IBM as we know it, will not exist

This has been true since the early 2000s at least.

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Great news, cask beer fans: UK shortage of CO2 menaces fizzy crap taking up tap space

Nolveys
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Pint

Re: I am a specialist.

I hear the US Budweiser "brewery" is supplied from the other end.

My understanding is that it comes from the catalytic reformer that's attached to the hydrotreater at the upper 1/4 stage of the pig urine distillation silo.

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Schneier warns of 'perfect storm': Tech is becoming autonomous, and security is garbage

Nolveys
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Windows

Dimming Lights

I was recently involved in the installation of "light dimmers" that cause the white LEDs in six signs to dim at night.

Each of the six "dimmers" are boxes with antenna sticking out one end, making them look a lot like access points. That's because they are access points, open access points...no wifi passwords. The passwords are set to protect the web interface only (via http).

When configuring the first "dimmer" I was told by the manufacturer to set the password to "123456". I decided to set it to something else. It turns out that the web interface that sets the password will accept a long password, but the login dialog won't, thusly I locked myself out.

Upon opening the thing up to look inside I found a Raspberry Pi connected to a daughter board that did the actual dimming. The antenna sticking out the end were connected directly to USB dongles that attached to the Pi. They were held in place with a plastic plate with strategically cut rectangular holes in it.

So I removed the micro SSD and connected it to a computer. Only one of the wifi interfaces was actually used, the other was just there for decoration. The really beautiful part was that the web interface was running WordPress. Even memcached was invited to the party. So, yeah, that's how you do embedded programming for a light dimmer, you use WordPress.

I reset the password and all was well.

Ha ha, no it wasn't.

Cycling the power on the things causes the clock to change to we-know-not-what. Not that it's an issue since the procedure by which the things dim works as follows:

1. Cron runs a WordPress module every minute.

2. The WordPress module check the dimmer schedule.

3. The WordPress module mostly ignores the dimmer schedule and decides to what to do based on magic.

4. The WordPress module runs the "pigs" command via php's system() in order to set the duty cycle on a pulse-width-multiplex pin.

And then there was the Ford that failed to pair with a bluetooth phone because there were too many text messages. It produced no useful error message, Ford tech support had no clue what was going on.

Also, the home automation and integrated entertainment system with the insanely simple wifi password.

Or stock smart phone software that just doesn't effing work in any way, shape or form. "My mail client stopped working for no reason, time for a factory reset because nobody anywhere knows what the hell is going on with the thing."

It seems like everything is like the above these days. No one knows how anything works, they just grab a bunch of off-the-shelf garbage, mush it together into a ball of shyte and shove it out the door. These are things that are connected directly to houses, cars, lights, sensitive data stores, you name it.

Now we are seeing flaky-as-hell AI installed everywhere.

Consumer technology and even a lot of non-consumer technology is going in a direction that is completely batshit-on-toast-fucked-sideways-from-wednesday insane.

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Have YOU had your breakfast pint? Boffins confirm cheeky daily tipple is good for you

Nolveys
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Re: What measure of 'drink' did these Americans use?

Yes, but only if your russian...

I'm in no hurry.

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Linux literally loses its Lustre – HPC filesystem ditched in new kernel

Nolveys
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IBM’s IBM Spectrum Scale

Is that made by IBM?

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RoboCop-ter: Boffins build drone to pinpoint brutal thugs in crowds

Nolveys
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Big Brother

Re: Colour me sceptical

This tech is interesting, but would be much more useful on fixed CCTV cameras, where it could be running 24/7 across thousands of cameras.

I think that a better idea would be to just not do any of that.

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Clock blocker: Woman sues bosses over fingerprint clock-in tech

Nolveys
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Big Brother

Hope She Wins

Biometrics are a nightmare. I'd love if using them came with the expectation of looking like an idiot and being sued into oblivion.

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It's all true – I bribed big city's IT boss with fat bathroom bungs, admits tech biz chief exec

Nolveys
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It's Detroit. The surprise would have been if this wasn't taking place.

I know someone who lives in Detroit, he says things are getting better. He works for UPS as a tail gunner.

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Internet engineers tear into United Nations' plan to move us all to IPv6

Nolveys
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either laugh or cry at yet another unrealistic solution to a problem that didn't exist.

If paid by the hour then laugh else cry.

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'Incomprehensible failure' – Canada's $1bn Phoenix payroll IT fiasco torched by auditors

Nolveys
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There is a small part of me that also wants some of the Public Services and Procurement department sparta kicked into the void.

About 90% of the Canadian federal government could vanish into the void without any meaningful loss of service.

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NASA’s new exoplanet-spotter survives sling past the Moon

Nolveys
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Re: Impressive use of orbital design to extend probe life without increasing weight.

He was very drunk at the time.

But he was definitely in the right.

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Africa's internet body in full-blown meltdown: 'None of the above' wins board protest vote

Nolveys
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Windows

None Of The Above

The "None Of The Above" slot should be necessary on all ballots.

Also, first-past-the-post should never be used.

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Wanted that Windows 10 update but have an Intel SSD? Computer says no

Nolveys
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Windows

Re: Just Had Fun With This

You know that Win 10 is supposed to run with UEFI, not BIOS?

Don't try to teach an old NolVeys new acronyms. Just replace every instance of BIOS in my post with "A giant bag of barely-functional binary blob shit".

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Date engraved onto net neutrality tombstone: June 11, 2018

Nolveys
Silver badge
Windows

Hopefully, if crony scum bag Pai gets his way, all the states will enact their own versions of net neutrality. Hopefully they will all be insanely complex and mutually incompatible. Then the ISP pricks that tried to push this filth through will gain no advantage and will have to implement batshit insane systems in every different state.

It's sad though, the US used to be the envy of the world for freedom and prosperity. Now they are competing with the other Western nations to see who can be the biggest shitbag...and mostly winning.

I hope Musk gets his rockets human-ready and cheap soon. It's time to leave.

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