* Posts by Nolveys

656 posts • joined 6 Nov 2012

Page:

Distro inferno: Debian's still rocking at 25

Nolveys
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Devuan +1

Yet another convert to Devuan.

Me too, posting from a machine running Devuan right now. Three boxes down, two to go.

14
2

Hello darkness my old friend, what happened last week in Redmond?

Nolveys
Silver badge
Windows

Re: @big_D

In my experience, there's very little point using on Windows, too...

It's quite useful for downloading other browsers.

10
0

UK taxman told: IR35 still isn't working in the public sector, and you want to take it private?

Nolveys
Silver badge
Windows

Maybe in 20 years when the UK IT industry no longer exists the government might wake up and realise this wasn't such a good idea after all.

That will happen right after cats learn to team up in order to operate motor vehicles.

16
0

Span hits F#, LinkedIn gets mumbly, and UWP (yes, it's still clinging on) furnished with new toys

Nolveys
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Does UWP have a purpose, yet?

Your UWP app could also be run on Android, iOS, MacOS and Tizen if you use Xamarin.

"Bessie, I dun told you that you'd best learn to ride that bicycle else you'd get a whoopin!"

WACK! WACK! WACK! WACK!

(frantic mooing)

6
1

Doctor, doctor, I feel like my IoT-enabled vacuum cleaner is spying on me

Nolveys
Silver badge

Re: Useless warranties

Unless I were present I literally couldn't.

Couldn't you use the cameras in the vacuum cleaners?

0
0
Nolveys
Silver badge

Re: superuser rights on the vacuum

The chain of reasoning really needs to start before the point of assuming that a floor sweeper is in need of an OS of any kind.

It's hard to have decent AI without an underlying operating system and without decent AI we will never be able to teach vacuum cleaners to drive cars.

0
0

Fake prudes: Catholic uni AI bot taught to daub bikinis on naked chicks

Nolveys
Silver badge
Trollface

Perhaps version 2 would replace online images of priests with pictures of naked women

Or at least replace the alter boy with pants.

12
1

Fix this faxing hell! NHS told to stop hanging onto archaic tech

Nolveys
Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: The name that stands out in the BBC version of the article

Deepmind can't slurp Fax machines as easily!

I was just going to say that I've never seen a fax machine hacked, encrypt stuff and then ransom people, etc.

What do you suppose the cost/benefits of ditching the faxes would be?

13
0

Sysadmin cracked military PC’s security by reading the manual

Nolveys
Silver badge

Pci compliance failure failure

I used to subcontract to someone who did pci compliance tests. One time a bunch of issues came up and we worked to patch them. As we patched things and modified configs the issues went away one by one until only one remained.

Supposedly the remaining issue should have been covered by a software upgrade we did, but it persisted. My boss had to go do other things and left me to investigate. I downloaded the exploit reference code and ran it against the server...nothing. I mucked around with the code and still nothing.

After hours and hours of trying to get the exploit to work my boss called me. Turned out he hadn't quite scrolled to the end of the pci scan list and was looking at the second last report in the list, the one right before the service in question had been upgraded.

11
0

When Google's robots give your business the death sentence – who you gonna call?

Nolveys
Silver badge

Re: @Hamish Sadly Not Really New

Surely it would be "Do no evil" to "Do know evil", amirite??

See, hear and speak no evil.

2
0

Sysadmin shut down server, it went ‘Clunk!’ but the app kept running

Nolveys
Silver badge

Re: I crashed a server once, at client site

although we do get more opportunity to appreciate the "measure twice, cut once" rule

Why is the server down and why are you holding a gas powered angle grinder?

17
0

Science fiction legend Harlan Ellison ends his short time on Earth

Nolveys
Silver badge
Windows

Prisoners of Gravity

You can find some Ellison interviews on the "Prisoners of Gravity" episodes that can be found on Youtube. The show was low-budget and the premise was goofy, but they somehow managed to interview the likes of Clive Barker, Ray Bradbury, David Brin, Charles de Lint, Harlan Ellison, William Gibson, Frederik Pohl, Terry Pratchett, Anne Rice, Spider Robinson, Robert J. Sawyer, Chris Claremont, Will Eisner, Neil Gaiman, Bob Kane, Jack Kirby, Stan Lee, Daniel Clowes, Scott McCloud, Frank Miller, Alan Moore and many more.

Well worth a look, in my opinion.

1
0

Foot lose: Idiot perv's shoe-mounted upskirt vid camera explodes

Nolveys
Silver badge
Windows

If only there was a law banning morons.

Wouldn't that cause the government to collapse?

75
0

IBM memo to staff: Our CEO Ginni is visiting so please 'act normally!'

Nolveys
Silver badge
Mushroom

Re: Another indication of....

In 5 years, IBM as we know it, will not exist

This has been true since the early 2000s at least.

2
0

Great news, cask beer fans: UK shortage of CO2 menaces fizzy crap taking up tap space

Nolveys
Silver badge
Pint

Re: I am a specialist.

I hear the US Budweiser "brewery" is supplied from the other end.

My understanding is that it comes from the catalytic reformer that's attached to the hydrotreater at the upper 1/4 stage of the pig urine distillation silo.

13
0

Schneier warns of 'perfect storm': Tech is becoming autonomous, and security is garbage

Nolveys
Silver badge
Windows

Dimming Lights

I was recently involved in the installation of "light dimmers" that cause the white LEDs in six signs to dim at night.

Each of the six "dimmers" are boxes with antenna sticking out one end, making them look a lot like access points. That's because they are access points, open access points...no wifi passwords. The passwords are set to protect the web interface only (via http).

When configuring the first "dimmer" I was told by the manufacturer to set the password to "123456". I decided to set it to something else. It turns out that the web interface that sets the password will accept a long password, but the login dialog won't, thusly I locked myself out.

Upon opening the thing up to look inside I found a Raspberry Pi connected to a daughter board that did the actual dimming. The antenna sticking out the end were connected directly to USB dongles that attached to the Pi. They were held in place with a plastic plate with strategically cut rectangular holes in it.

So I removed the micro SSD and connected it to a computer. Only one of the wifi interfaces was actually used, the other was just there for decoration. The really beautiful part was that the web interface was running WordPress. Even memcached was invited to the party. So, yeah, that's how you do embedded programming for a light dimmer, you use WordPress.

I reset the password and all was well.

Ha ha, no it wasn't.

Cycling the power on the things causes the clock to change to we-know-not-what. Not that it's an issue since the procedure by which the things dim works as follows:

1. Cron runs a WordPress module every minute.

2. The WordPress module check the dimmer schedule.

3. The WordPress module mostly ignores the dimmer schedule and decides to what to do based on magic.

4. The WordPress module runs the "pigs" command via php's system() in order to set the duty cycle on a pulse-width-multiplex pin.

And then there was the Ford that failed to pair with a bluetooth phone because there were too many text messages. It produced no useful error message, Ford tech support had no clue what was going on.

Also, the home automation and integrated entertainment system with the insanely simple wifi password.

Or stock smart phone software that just doesn't effing work in any way, shape or form. "My mail client stopped working for no reason, time for a factory reset because nobody anywhere knows what the hell is going on with the thing."

It seems like everything is like the above these days. No one knows how anything works, they just grab a bunch of off-the-shelf garbage, mush it together into a ball of shyte and shove it out the door. These are things that are connected directly to houses, cars, lights, sensitive data stores, you name it.

Now we are seeing flaky-as-hell AI installed everywhere.

Consumer technology and even a lot of non-consumer technology is going in a direction that is completely batshit-on-toast-fucked-sideways-from-wednesday insane.

32
0

Have YOU had your breakfast pint? Boffins confirm cheeky daily tipple is good for you

Nolveys
Silver badge

Re: What measure of 'drink' did these Americans use?

Yes, but only if your russian...

I'm in no hurry.

6
0

Linux literally loses its Lustre – HPC filesystem ditched in new kernel

Nolveys
Silver badge

IBM’s IBM Spectrum Scale

Is that made by IBM?

13
0

RoboCop-ter: Boffins build drone to pinpoint brutal thugs in crowds

Nolveys
Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: Colour me sceptical

This tech is interesting, but would be much more useful on fixed CCTV cameras, where it could be running 24/7 across thousands of cameras.

I think that a better idea would be to just not do any of that.

4
0

Clock blocker: Woman sues bosses over fingerprint clock-in tech

Nolveys
Silver badge
Big Brother

Hope She Wins

Biometrics are a nightmare. I'd love if using them came with the expectation of looking like an idiot and being sued into oblivion.

19
2

It's all true – I bribed big city's IT boss with fat bathroom bungs, admits tech biz chief exec

Nolveys
Silver badge

It's Detroit. The surprise would have been if this wasn't taking place.

I know someone who lives in Detroit, he says things are getting better. He works for UPS as a tail gunner.

15
0

Internet engineers tear into United Nations' plan to move us all to IPv6

Nolveys
Silver badge

either laugh or cry at yet another unrealistic solution to a problem that didn't exist.

If paid by the hour then laugh else cry.

1
0

'Incomprehensible failure' – Canada's $1bn Phoenix payroll IT fiasco torched by auditors

Nolveys
Silver badge

There is a small part of me that also wants some of the Public Services and Procurement department sparta kicked into the void.

About 90% of the Canadian federal government could vanish into the void without any meaningful loss of service.

3
2

NASA’s new exoplanet-spotter survives sling past the Moon

Nolveys
Silver badge

Re: Impressive use of orbital design to extend probe life without increasing weight.

He was very drunk at the time.

But he was definitely in the right.

1
0

Africa's internet body in full-blown meltdown: 'None of the above' wins board protest vote

Nolveys
Silver badge
Windows

None Of The Above

The "None Of The Above" slot should be necessary on all ballots.

Also, first-past-the-post should never be used.

20
2

Wanted that Windows 10 update but have an Intel SSD? Computer says no

Nolveys
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Just Had Fun With This

You know that Win 10 is supposed to run with UEFI, not BIOS?

Don't try to teach an old NolVeys new acronyms. Just replace every instance of BIOS in my post with "A giant bag of barely-functional binary blob shit".

1
0
Nolveys
Silver badge
Windows

Just Had Fun With This

A machine with a NVMe would download the Fall Creators Update, display the message "updating, do not turn off or reboot..." for half an hour and reboot. If the user stared at the screen at boot the error message "Something went wrong, but we won't tell you what" popped up for a split second before an odd, graphical pre-boot menu gave the option to boot normally. The process would then restart.

It turned out that there's a problem which causes the BIOS SMART test to fail, even though the drive works fine. This is reported to the operating system which fails without saying what is going on.

The problem can be "fixed" by disabling SMART in the BIOS. It sure would have been nice if the OS or BIOS had bothered to tell me what was wrong rather than having me aimlessly wondering the internet for hours and hours...

30
0

Date engraved onto net neutrality tombstone: June 11, 2018

Nolveys
Silver badge
Windows

Hopefully, if crony scum bag Pai gets his way, all the states will enact their own versions of net neutrality. Hopefully they will all be insanely complex and mutually incompatible. Then the ISP pricks that tried to push this filth through will gain no advantage and will have to implement batshit insane systems in every different state.

It's sad though, the US used to be the envy of the world for freedom and prosperity. Now they are competing with the other Western nations to see who can be the biggest shitbag...and mostly winning.

I hope Musk gets his rockets human-ready and cheap soon. It's time to leave.

46
1

Microsoft vows to bridge phones to PCs, and this time it means it. Honest.

Nolveys
Silver badge
Windows

Oh Goodie

Hopefully this will just be another collection of half-baked alphabet soup "technologies" that will end up on the Microsoft trash heap in two years time.

Though if history is any guide it will be a bunch of blatantly stupid and obligatory UI changes of value to no one. I don't think I could come up with anything worse than ribbons and tiles, even as a joke. The best I can do is "replace everything with dog asses", but that would probably be more usable than the current mess.

8
1

Microsoft wants serious, non-gaming developers to make more money

Nolveys
Silver badge
Trollface

Math Is Hard

Can someone tell me what 95% of zero is?

14
2

Warren Buffett says cryptocurrency attracts charlatans, AI won’t change investing

Nolveys
Silver badge
Windows

Good Ol' Buffett

He brings such decency and integrity to selling poor and foolish people predatory mortgages on mobile homes.

3
1

Cookie code compromise caper caught and crumbled

Nolveys
Silver badge
Headmaster

Explain It To Captain Stupid

I never really got the whole node.js thing. Can someone here please explain it to me in El Reg terms? That is to say, could some cynical bastard explain it in terms of alcohol and sexual innuendo?

1
1

HP Ink to compensate punters for bricking third-party ink cartridges

Nolveys
Silver badge
Windows

Power Adapters Too

HP is pulling the same shyte with their power adapters. If you look at the connector on an HP power brick there's a good chance that you'll see a thin, pointy pin in the middle. That pin connects to a chip in the adaptor that lets the HP computer know what the 19.5V is "Genuine HP 19.5V", vastly superior to "Brand X 19.5V". You can tell that the HP power is superior from the price of a replacement adapter, if you can find it.

HP kit has been complete garbage for ages now. I can't believe that people still buy it.

8
0

Open Internet lovin' Comcast: Buy our TV service – or no faster broadband for you!

Nolveys
Silver badge
Windows

Same In Kanukistan

Shaw Cable offered a similar deal in Alberta, Canada about 7 years ago. When a friend of mine called them to order the service they asked what kind of TV he had and he responded that he didn't have one. My friend was told that he couldn't order the service without owning a TV, even though he had no intention of watching cable, he just wanted the internet.

So my friend drove down to the recycling depot and pulled a TV that looked like it had been run over by a tractor out of one of the bins. He took said TV home and propped it up on it's side against the wall in his office. When the installer saw it he asked if my friend actually wanted the TV hooked up, to which he declined. My friend still got his internet.

It's interesting the things we do these days solely to satisfy arbitrary requirements.

2
0

No top-ups, please, I'm a millennial: Lightweight yoof shunning booze like never before

Nolveys
Silver badge
Windows

Nobody minds a man having a morning eye-opener and it's OK to have a bracer about 10 A.M. and a couple of drinks before lunch. A few beers on a hot afternoon keeps a man healthy, or at least happy. And, of course everyone drinks at a cocktail hour. A man can't be criticized for having wine with his dinner, a liqueur afterwards, and a highball or two during the evening. But this business of sip, sip, sip, all day long has got to stop!

23
1

IBM Australia to end on-shore software support

Nolveys
Silver badge
Headmaster

Off-Shore Support

IBM’s Technology Support Services operation will “officially” end on-shore software support on June 30th in Australia and New Zealand, The Register has learned.

This is much less of a problem than it sounds. Both Australia and New Zealand are in excellent positions for chucking IBM's stuff in the ocean.

5
0

Windows 10 April 2018 Update lands today... ish

Nolveys
Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Update

"So if I turn Focus Assist on Windows 10 will stop bugging me about updates..."

That's already covered by active hours.

You're right, windows updates haven't been a problem for me since the windows update that made my computer crash on boot.

5
3

Double double, soil and trouble, fire burn and heat shield bubble: NASA cracks rover, has dirty talk with ESA

Nolveys
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Is this a trick question?

'We could save a lot of money if we combine testing with rollout'.

Works for Microsoft.

10
0

Boss sent overpaid IT know-nothings home – until an ON switch proved elusive

Nolveys
Silver badge
Windows

Re: I have a software version of this story

cheque-printing job...

This story doesn't really fit in with the theme of the conversation, but the mention of "cheque-printing job" reminded me of it.

I was in the comptroller's office of a medium-sized manufacturing company dealing with a printer issue. I managed to send a large report to the cheque printer in the next room. By the time I realized what I had done the printer had burned through its entire massive stack of cheques. The cheques had little hologram thingies on them and looked really fancy, so they were probably not cheap.

I got the printer issue fixed, sent the report to the correct printer, gave the report the comptroller and she thanked me. I then said "Aaaand here's a huge pile of cheques that I destroyed. See ya!" and ran from the room before she could respond.

12
0

Yahoo! fined! $35m! for! covering! up! massive! IT! security! screwup!

Nolveys
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: So 1.1 cents per record

And they say that breaches are expensive.

Pretty expensive, it works out to $350,000 per user.

1
0

Windows 10 Springwatch: See the majestic Microsoft in its natural habitat, fixing stuff the last patch broke

Nolveys
Silver badge
Windows

Re: In the old days

Of course we're all pining for the days when Microsoft released updates that always worked perfectly first time.

Those far off, imaginary days....

There was a period in the early 00's when MS did a big push toward better QA in response to rampant security problems. Things improved quite a bit between XP and XP SP3.

Oh well, so much for that.

1
0

Twenty years ago today: Windows 98 crashed live on stage with Bill Gates. Let's watch it again...

Nolveys
Silver badge
Gimp

Re: It's always great entertainment

Just Google up "Microsoft on stage fail".

Guests in the first 8 rows will get wet also the splash zone is up to 12 rows.

WOOOOOOOOO!!!!

DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

21
5

Huawei CEO sings 'Bye, bye, mister American Pai', trims US C-suite

Nolveys
Silver badge
Headmaster

Eric Xu, one of Huawei's three rotating CEOs...

If you're a CEO of Huawei then you can afford chairs with really good bearings.

8
0

Using Outlook? You should probably do some patching

Nolveys
Silver badge

Hey Microsoft, if you could do a patch that would get rid of "Outlook is not responding" that'd be great, thanks.

Microsoft is not responding...

2
0

Microsoft patches patch for Meltdown bug patch: Windows 7, Server 2008 rushed an emergency fix

Nolveys
Silver badge

Re: Testing?

I mean you make a patch, surely you should check to see if it did what you wanted it to do?

That's exactly what they did, they installed their patch on their millions of test machines located in homes and businesses all over the world. Then they learned that they fucked it up and tried again. And again.

5
0

Java-aaaargh! Google faces $9bn copyright bill after Oracle scores 'fair use' court appeal win

Nolveys
Silver badge

Torn

On the one hand this idiotic judgement will, if it stands, have horrible implications throughout the industry.

On the other hand Java is a fucking abomination. I'd like to see all vestiges of it attached to the leading edge of a descending techtonic plate.

The best outcome would be for both Oracle and Google to loose. The judge would say "No, you can't copyright an API. Also, you are assholes. Oracle is hereby ordered to pay $80bn to some guy named Bob who lives out in the desert somewhere. Google has to pay Bob $50bn, because you are also a bunch of pricks."

9
3

Linux Foundation backs new ‘ACRN’ hypervisor for embedded and IoT

Nolveys
Silver badge
Windows

Entertainment Computer and Touch Screen

This is a suggestion for auto manufacturers:

Instead of running the entertainment computer as a VM under a hypervisor you should integrate it directly with the in-dash touch screen. Also, integrate the beeping horn alarm system into the same module.

Then take the entire module and shove it up your arse. Following that you can fuck right off.

7
0

FYI: AI tools can unmask anonymous coders from their binary executables

Nolveys
Silver badge

My code is VERY EASY to identity...you can actually READ IT and UNDERSTAND IT!

I can THINK of ANOTHER reason that SOMEONE could POSSIBLY IDENTIFY your CODE.

7
0

Page:

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2018