* Posts by Nolveys

541 posts • joined 6 Nov 2012

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Never mind the WPA2 drama... Details emerge of TPM key cockup that hits tonnes of devices

Nolveys
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Paris Hilton

Ignorance is bliss, so why do I drink so much?

I've heard of "TPM", but never really looked into it. According to the Wikipedia page it's primarily for ensuring that software/hardware hasn't been tampered with. I found this long list of (all?) HP products that are effected by this:

https://support.hp.com/si-en/document/c05792935

So there is a *lot* of stuff out there with these chips.

However, I have to wonder what there is of importance that actually uses this stuff. Under Linux there's a "TrouSerS" library that seems to be the way that most people access TPM, including libengine-tpm-openssl, by which you can generate keys via OpenSSL using TPM. However, it doesn't seem to be generally used. I also found someone who managed to get OpenSSH to use TPM, but again, this does not seem to be common.

My understanding was that RSA keys for certificates, ssh keys and things I generally care about are generated using the normal processor rather than special hardware.

A quick look makes it seem that none of the stuff I use (and care about) will be effected, but that's based on a whole 5 minutes of half-arsed research. Can anyone shed some light on the applicability of this vulnerability?

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Drone smacks commercial passenger plane in Canada

Nolveys
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Re: How is it different

eliminating smaller risk while doing absolutely nothing about higher makes absolutely no difference to safety.

"Daddy, should you be driving? You've had a lot to drink."

"Do...donworry, cardiovascular disease kills mahr peopl then car accada..accadents."

THUNK-THUNK

"Hab a goo day a school hu...hungey."

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Has Git ever driven you so mad you wanted to bomb it? Well, now you can with this tiny repo

Nolveys
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Bottoms Up

I had trouble understanding git before I read "Git From The Bottom Up". The data structure on which git is based is really simple and easy to understand. Once you understand it the front end becomes a lot more comprehensible.

I do find the nomenclature in the git front end to be really odd. The names of a lot of the commands don't sound like what they do, imo.

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US Congress mulls first 'hack back' revenge law. And yup, you can guess what it'll let people do

Nolveys
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Mushroom

Whelp...

...time to figure out how to get Fail2ban to call Metasploit. But what should I use for a payload? Maybe the payload should be Fail2ban and Metasploit.

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Night out in London tonight: Beer, Reg and platform wars

Nolveys
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Can't go

I would go, but I'm on a different part of the planet. I'll just have to watch the church scene from that Kingsman movie from a few years back.

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Software update turned my display and mouse upside-down, says user

Nolveys
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Re: Now it can be told...

Another few:

• replace the mouse cursor bitmap with one that is nothing but transparency

• set the Windows "click" sound (plays pretty much whenever you click on anything) to the Windows 3.1 tada sound, then remove write access to the section of the registry where the sound bindings are stored. I haven't done this in a while, but it used to be that changing the sound back would seem to work, but would do nothing

• there used to be a registry option that would force the user to agree to terms and conditions upon login, so you could pretty much force the user to agree to anything

• there used to be a registry setting that allowed the window manager (or whatever it is called) to be changed to an arbitrary program. Also, up until at least XP, the old one from 3.1 was available

• modern Macs have an obscure key combination that will invert the colours. This persists across reboots.

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Malware again checks into Hyatt's hotels, again checks out months later with victims' credit cards

Nolveys
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even reusing the website hyatt.com/notice/protectingourcustomers from that security breach for this latest cockup.

Did they at least have the turn down service give it a once over?

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Look! Over there! Intel's cooked a 17-qubit chip quantum package

Nolveys
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Headmaster

Re: around the size of a US quarter

can we have this translated to something more universally understandable?

0.000000056 football fields.

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Dumb bug of the week: Outlook staples your encrypted emails to, er, plaintext copies when sending messages

Nolveys
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Windows

Re: Remind me...

Remind me...why do NSA and GCHQ have such big budgets?

This either calls for a red riding hood joke or a dick joke.

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Nolveys
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Gimp

True, but testing that it doesn't work improperly is far more difficult.

That's the easy part, there are these people called "users" who will do it for free.

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Outlook, Office 2007 slowly taken behind the shed, shots heard

Nolveys
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Wow, ribbons are 10 years old now. It's funny how MS's shit ideas of yesteryear barely even register on the shit scale compared to their new shit.

Ten years from now Office will include an obligatory feeding tube connected to a canister of solid waste and people will still buy it. People will say (over the fecal gurgling sound) "remember when the worst thing MS did to us was to monitor everything we did? Those were the days."

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Zuck shows Virtual Empathy by visiting Puerto Rico in VR

Nolveys
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Childcatcher

"Ewww, gross, like there's a dead body over here. It's totally gross!"

"Just use the editing tool. There, now it's Grumpy Cat!"

"Awwwwh, he's so cute when he's grumpy!"

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Moon trumps Mars in new US space policy

Nolveys
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America must be as dominant in space as we are here on Earth

I'm hoping for a giant Trump head in orbit with megawatt lasers in the eyes.

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Oath-my-God: THREE! BILLION! Yahoo! accounts! hacked! in! 2013! – not! 'just!' 1bn!

Nolveys
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Re: considerably biggest discount.

Biggest discount...

Current asking price is negative three bucks. Or you can have it for free and we will throw in this sandwich.

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We went to Nadella's launch of Hit Refresh so you didn't have to

Nolveys
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Meh

Re: Waiting a couple of minutes???

Seriously a baby in the middle of the street and you 'wait a few minutes?'

It takes some time to unhook one's jaw and relax one's throat.

"One of my biggest worries of this book and talking about it is: 'Will it be viewed cynically as corporate propaganda?'"

Don't worry, Nad, I view it as a big bag of self-important ego wank.

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Dildon'ts of Bluetooth: Pen test boffins sniff out Berlin's smart butt plugs

Nolveys
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I wonder how long it will take the vendor to plug this hole.

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Microsoft gives all staff a marked-up 'Employee Edition' of Satya Nadella's new book

Nolveys
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"The quest to rediscover Microsoft's soul"

Not again, Bruce Campbell just got rid of that thing.

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Cops shut 28k sites flogging knock-off footie kits and other tat

Nolveys
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what about..

Going after the extortion racket that is original football kit?

Or the misappropriation of tax money in constructing pro sports stadiums.

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Guess – go on, guess – where a vehicle tracking company left half a million records

Nolveys
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S3 Buckets

We're up to what, one of these per day? And that's only the stuff that's important or observed enough to be reported.

I had to use S3 on a project a while ago. The web interface was weird and confusing.

Weird, confusing and security don't mix well. If you pour them all into a beaker they just striate and smell bad.

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China orders immediate shuttering of Bitcoin exchanges

Nolveys
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Re: Already back up?

Maybe somebody more knowledgable can comment on "what it all means".

It means what everything always means, BTFD!

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Senators call for '9/11-style' commission on computer voting security

Nolveys
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Two US senators on Friday introduced legislation to set up the National Commission on the Cybersecurity of the United States Election Systems

The commission later concluded that there is no security. They then congratulated themselves with a trip to the pub, followed by hookers and blow.

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Pennsylvania cops deploy electronics sniffer dog to catch child abusers

Nolveys
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Why is it that when I read this article all I can think of is the time Homer Simpson became fixated on the ad for clown college?

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Facebook posts put Pharma Bro Martin Shkreli in prison as a danger to society

Nolveys
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Fuck over millions of sick people, that's capitalism. Threaten to pull the hair of one of the sociopaths that be*? Go in guns blazing.

Don't get me wrong, anything that puts this snake behind bars is fine by me, it just seems the priorities are a bit off.

* Not that I don't think The Orange One is any better. The world would be a better place if all of the elephants and asses (save a very select few) were burried under millions of tons of silt mixed with radioactive waste at the bottom of the ocean.

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'Don't Google Google, Googling Google is wrong', says Google

Nolveys
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Re: In the UK...

"My brother (state-side), states things like 'Ping me' in his emails."

That's when you go to google images and search for things such as "untreated" and "grinder accident". You then fill an email with those lovely things and send it off to him.

If your brother asks why you sent such things you say "you asked me to ping you, that's what means, right?"

If your brother explains to you what he considers "ping" to mean then you reply with "oh, I understand now". You then wait for him to ask you to ping him again and send him pictures of eye surgery and motorcycle accidents.

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El Reg is hiring an intern. Apply now before it closes

Nolveys
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Windows

So does that mean you don't get access to the watercooler if there is no water? Is this just a workplace policy, or is there a physical access control in place?

It's a bait-and-switch and the intern will not initially be given access to the water cooler. Everyone knows that the water coolers at El Reg are only for vodka.

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It's September 2017, and .NET lets PDFs hijack your Windows PC

Nolveys
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Re: Never mind PDF

@TheElder

I like to trade my Thorazine for bath salts too.

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Linus Torvalds' lifestyle tips for hackers: Be like me, work in a bathrobe, no showers before noon

Nolveys
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Re: Bathrobes are for cissies, work naked.

Ouch - done that before building models in my bathrobe.

You've got to build them outside your bathrobe and move them in when you are done.

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Mexican tax refund site left 400GB of sensitive customer info wide open

Nolveys
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Childcatcher

Yeah, it's about time the people responsible were given prison sentences or made personally liable for fines.

That's a good idea. We should do this via the rule of law, which is alive and well in both the US and Mexico.

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Virginia scraps poke-to-vote machines hackers destroyed at DefCon

Nolveys
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Windows

Pass The Pork

So what are they replacing them with ?

They're going to replace them with some other pieces of worthless garbage.

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IBM's global load balancer and reverse DNS degraded by domain transfer mess

Nolveys
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Compare that to the monthly outages on Azure...From January to June this year, I experienced at least one outage a month, some lasting a week

That's a lot better than I would have expected.

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Everyone loves programming in Python! You disagree? But it's the fastest growing, says Stack Overflow

Nolveys
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Thumb Up

Python is far from perfect, but there's a brevity, cleanliness and uniformity to it that's very appealing. There are also powerful and easily available tools (e.g. 'yield' statement) that exist easily within it's simple syntax.

Oceans of libraries are nice too.

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F-35 firmware patches to be rolled out 'like iPhone updates'

Nolveys
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Childcatcher

“Even with the final version of 3F, the Air Force will not be able to use the newest aircraft in combat,”

That's okay, it still performs its primary function quite well, burning through boatloads of tax money.

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Vid game's easiest level makes players white, hardest level makes them black

Nolveys
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Looking Forward To It

"Stick Of Truth" was great fun, featuring nazi zombie cows (voiced by old recordings of Hitler speeches), Kenny in drag summoning and occasionally being devoured by rat swarms, going on a quest up a gay man's ass and being able to play as a thief, fighter, mage or jew.

I'm sure this one will be just as off the wall.

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House Reps grease the wheels for hundreds of thousands of robo-cars on America's streets

Nolveys
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Alien

"SELF-DRIVE- Safely Ensuring Lives Future Deployment and Research In Vehicle Evolution Act"

I find that the correct response to reading shit like this is to watch the Congress scene from Mars Attacks.

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Smart cities? Tell it like it is, they're surveillance cities

Nolveys
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Big Brother

Re: Cough

If you took the entire cost of the the London CCTV infrastructure and staffing and invested it in the NHS you'd probably save far more lives.

Actually you'd probably get several more layers of management.

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A furious think-tank boss, Google, and an academic 'fired' for criticizing ads giant

Nolveys
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A bit off topic, but

I just love that this woman's name is "Slaughter".

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Facebook claims a third more users in the US than people who exist

Nolveys
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Re: What Is The Point of Facebook ?

It is for 15 year old girls with no friends to pretend they have friends.

What a sad world this is.

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Sub plot subplot thickens: Madsen claims hatch fumble killed Swede journo Kim Wall

Nolveys
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To a rational person (i.e. me) it seems completely crazy but they're in a different reality.

wrote 0laf, whilst sitting atop a throne made of human body parts.

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Flying electric taxi upstart scores $90m from investors

Nolveys
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Headmaster

Damn it!

I would have liked to invest in this, but I spent all my money on flying elephants.

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It's official: Users navigate flat UI designs 22 per cent slower

Nolveys
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Windows

Re: Personally

Just imagine having a room with an invisible touch sensitive sensor instead of a clearly visible light switch.

Sounds like modern monitors. If you're lucky there will be some symbols at the bottom that indicate that if you fondle something, somewhere in the area then something might happen. If you're not lucky then you get to thoroughly molest the poor thing. I must say though, as an IT person, I do get a perverted thrill out of asking "how do you turn this on?"

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Linus Torvalds passed a kidney stone and then squeezed out Linux 4.13

Nolveys
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Unhappy

Goodbye, SMB1.0

You will live on in our memories, our hearts and on every computer in the National Health Service.

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Crushed Juicero now officially a fruitless endeavor

Nolveys
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Boffin

Re: Hipsters

I read that as KFC the first few times to much confusion.

I think that chicken juicing will be the next big thing. People love chicken, but who can find the time to actually sit down and eat a meal? Now you can have the delicious taste of chicken without the mess and the chewing.

This could be as big as the Bass-o-matic 76.

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User thanked IT department for fast new server, but it had never left its box

Nolveys
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Re: A couch?!

"My laptop is really slow ever since I opened that weird attachment and any email I send to HR bounces with some IP blocked message."

"Why don't you lay down and tell me how that makes you feel."

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China: Cute Hyperloop Elon, now watch how it's really done

Nolveys
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Re: This is what happens when all the leaders are engineers

Early in the Obama administration there was a plan for a very cost effective high speed transit system. I wonder what became of it.

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Nolveys
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Re: Pressure suits?

Rear facing seats

I was in one of those on a 3 hour flight once. Sooooo un-fucking-comfortable.

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China claims to have turbine-powered drone carrying 200kg payload

Nolveys
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Windows

Re: No...

"Man, I'm glad my house isn't under the flight path of Chinese-made drones that are carrying 200 Kg of anything."

Coming soon to Harbour Freight! Only $149.99 per unit while supplies last!

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Nolveys
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We finally have the technology

to, via the air, deliver a standard American person 200km. What an age to be alive.

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They say 'quality over quantity,' but quantifying IT performance is a good shout too

Nolveys
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Windows

"I'm pleased to announce that network uptime per IT budget dollar is 27% better than it was this time last year."

"Didn't we cut the IT budget by 80% last year? Also, is anyone else having trouble getting on the internet?"

"I'm also pleased to announce that we have had only two suicides in the IT department all year! It's our best year yet!"

"Didn't we reduce the IT department to two people last year?"

"Why don't you try viewing the glass as half-full instead of half-empty, Fred?"

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China to identify commentards with real‑name policy

Nolveys
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Re: Shit

I'll have to change my name.

An acquaintance of mine is named "Jim Smith". I'm a bit envious.

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WannaCrypt NHS victim Lanarkshire infected by malware again

Nolveys
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"Don't worry, this time we have a backup!"

- Pops CDRW in drive.

- Contains "backup.lnk" and nothing else.

"...aaand the backup is my brother, who said he'd hire me to work at his plumbing company. Whelp, see ya."

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