* Posts by julianh72

100 posts • joined 12 Oct 2012

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China launches aircraft carrier the length of 2.1 brontosaurs

julianh72

Re: Bollocks

I reckon a Chinese Aircraft Carrier would be a perfect serving platter for sliced brontosaur.

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nbn™ trials 10 Gbps fibre tech most of you will never see

julianh72

"Something doesn't add up."

That was my thought exactly - why is NBNco trialling a technology that it won't be able to deliver to the significant majority of connected customers, delivering speed that they believe nobody wants?

Maybe somebody at NBNco just noticed the CEO's new clothes are something of an illusion?

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Fireball in Tasmania: Possible CubeSat re-entry sparks alien panic

julianh72

Re: Swamp Gas!

"So why doesn't this happen every other day?"

It does - I suggest you do a Google search for "contrail fireball", and check out some of the linked videos and images.

(Of course, all this "evidence" that these fireballs are really just jet planes is EXACTLY what the global governments want us to believe - when in fact, they are in direct communication with the aliens.)

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julianh72
Black Helicopters

If you watch the video of the event, you can see that it is in fact a jet contrail, being under-lit from a very low angle by the dawn sun.

http://www.news.com.au/technology/science/space/alien-conspiracy-theorists-abuzz-over-fireball-spotted-in-tasmania/news-story/fbee4118f189b3c80e02030d0f5cdd20

And yes, there was a confirmed Emirates A380 flying over Hobart at the time the video was taken. (But of course, the government WOULD say that, wouldn't they, if they wanted to keep the truth under wraps.)

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Amid new push to make Pluto a planet again... Get over it, ice-world's assassin tells El Reg

julianh72

Re: Large Satellites?

So how do you deal with the Pluto - Charon system?

Charon is spherical, and has half the diameter of Pluto (and about 1/8 the mass), making Pluto - Charon a binary system (much more so than Earth - Moon, for example). And the barycentre of Pluto - Charon lies WELL outside Pluto.

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In colossal shock, Uber alleged to be wretched hive of sexism, craven managerial ass-covering

julianh72

Re: Bad Uber

"Also, how can you be sure that an Uber driver is insured to carry passengers?

By the taxi licencing authority plate affixed to the rear of the vehicle, eg picture. If it isn't plated it isn't licensed and isn't insured, and is breaking the law."

What Uber does and does not require of its drivers varies according to what the local regulators insist upon. The evidence suggests their business model is to enter a new market with no requirements whatsoever ("We're not a taxi service, so taxi laws don't apply"), and then tough it out until the lawmakers buckle.

Perhaps in some jurisdictions, they carry and display some sort of "commercial vehicle" plate, but in my part of the world (Queensland, Australia), Ubers have been deemed to be legal, but don't carry any physical evidence of being licensed or insured for commercial use. I won't catch an Uber for this reason - I don't want to find out the hard way that my driver isn't insured for commercial use (I know that's what my car insurance policy says), and so they aren't covered for any injuries I might suffer in an accident.

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Mozillans call for new moz://a logo to actually work in browsers

julianh72

Surely if you're an internet company ...

... and you create a new internet-themed type-able logo, you'd make an effort to make sure the internet could take your logo and direct people to your site.

I just highlighted "moz://a" in the article, right-clicked and chose "Search Google for moz://a" - The-Company-Formerly-Known-As-Mozilla comes a long-way down the search list.

(But a company called "Moz" is probably wondering why hits on their site have increased dramatically in the last day or two. Ironically, their business seems to be based on the concept of "being found" in internet searches!)

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HBO slaps takedown demand on 13-year-old girl's painting because it used 'Winter is coming'

julianh72

Re: I have an idea

Done!

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julianh72

Adolf Hitler: Speech to the Nazi Party in Munich

(February 24, 1941)

http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Holocaust/hitler02241941.html

"Winter, General Winter is coming, and he will force Germany to her knees."

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julianh72

Winter is coming

I'm gonna download the image and get it printed on a tee-shirt - just because it will really piss off the HBO lawyers!

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'Data saturation' helped to crash the Schiaparelli Mars probe

julianh72

Re: Pathetitudinous

"the mission was mostly successful because the lander almost reached the ground"

A bit like the poor sod who fell from the top of a 100 metre tall radio mast - he was 99% successful in surviving the fall.

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julianh72

Re: Welcome to embedded system engineering

Re: Deploying a parachute at negative altitude:

This happens just about every day to Wile E. Coyote: pursues Road Runner, falls off cliff, tugs desperately at rip-cord, hits the ground, making a coyote-shaped hole - and then the parachute pops out of the ground, and settles gracefully down over the coyote.

I'd like to think that is how Schiaparelli's last moments transpired!

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IBM botched geo-block designed to save Australia's census

julianh72

Re: I call bullshit on this

Yes, there are roughly 10 million households in Australia, but you would have to wonder why the ABS claim the Census website was supposed designed for "up to 1 million forms per hour" (by their own website publicity before the Census night debacle).

The vast majority of the Australian population live in the eastern states, which were all in the same time zone on Census night (and South Australia is only half an hour behind). Common sense should have told the ABS that most households would try to fill in the form "after dinner" - between say 7:00 pm to 9:00 pm, so "up to 1 million forms per hour" was simply nowhere near enough capacity.

If the ABS can't even get simple "order of magnitude" estimates right, what chance of success did the Online census ever have?

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julianh72

IBM probably won the Canadian job because they were able to demonstrate relevant prior experience with the Queensland Health project.

(It's just a shame that nobody in Canada bothered to ask Queensland Health for a reference check, to see if it IBM's work was well-received by the Client!)

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Microsoft can't tell North from South on Bing Maps

julianh72

Maybe this is just a Chinese propaganda tool?

Putting Melbourne just off the coast of Japan, would place a large amount of the Australian mainland inside the disputed South China Sea - we should probably expect an angry diplomatic statement that Australia should immediately hand over all the iron ore mines in Western Australia that are on traditional Chinese land?

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Universe's shock rapidly expanding waistline may squash Einstein flat

julianh72

RE: "our calculation on the effects of dark energy could be wrong"

"Firstly, our calculation on the effects of dark energy could be wrong. Dark energy, which can't be detected on current instruments, is already causing the expansion of the universe and may have additional properties that theorists haven't accounted for."

Surely the fundamental problem is that we don't know what Dark Energy is, or have anything like a coherent theory of how it works - so what chance is there that our "calculations" (guesswork?) would be right?!

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Here's a great idea: Let's make a gun that looks like a mobile phone

julianh72

Re: "Absolutely no one can make sense of the United States' infatuation with firearms."

"You need guns because you're scared of Koalas? WTF?"

Drop Bears are not exactly "cute and cuddly" - I suggest anyone contemplating visiting Australia should read this paper first:

"Indirect Tracking of Drop Bears Using GNSS Technology"

http://eprints.utas.edu.au/15881/1/2012_Janssen_AusGeog_journal_version.pdf

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Guess how much IT spending slumped last year? $216 billion

julianh72

Surely the headline should be ...

... Guess how much IT spending slumped last year? 216 BEEELION dollars

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Millions of people forget to cancel Apple Music subscription

julianh72

What about Google Play Music?

I'm surprised that Google Play Music doesn't feature in your market analysis. It has both free and paid-for "All Access", and surely they must rank in the Top 5?

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Hole in (Number) Two: MYSTERY golf-course pooper strikes again

julianh72

Re: ... discovered gleaming turds

http://www.guffsturdpolish.com/

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julianh72
Coat

Re: He has a couple of favorite holes

... and the Turd Hole ...

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Happy NukeDay to you! 70 years in the shadow of the bomb post-Trinity

julianh72

"highly unlikely that such destructive devices would ever be used"

"It is the power of thermonuclear devices that convinced Dr Brownlee that test explosions should be resumed and held regularly with the world's politicians watching the spectacle first hand. Once you have witnessed something that powerful, he explained, it would make it highly unlikely that such destructive devices would ever be used in anger."

Witnessing a nuke might be all a rational person needs to convince themselves that such weapons must never be used, but for megalomaniacs and dictators, the evidence that it CAN be done is all it takes to fund a program to develop one of their own.

Anyone remember "The War to End All Wars", dynamite as a weapon so terrible that it would never be used ...

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Airbus confirms software brought down A400M transport plane

julianh72

"Partly filled with wrong"

When I read this:

"Handelsblatt beats Google's translation with the sentence “Die Software für die Steuerung der Motoren sei bei der Endmontage falsch aufgespielt worden” "

Well ... I had to see what Google Translate offers up:

"The software for controlling the motors had been partly filled with wrong during the final assembly"

"Partly filled with wrong" - my new catch-phrase for every time somebody cocks something up!

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Wheely, wheely mad: Petrolheads fume over buggy Formula One app

julianh72

Bernie wonders why F1 viewer numbers are falling ...

TV coverage is being pushed from FTA to over-priced Pay TV (in Australia, only ten races will be shown live on FTA, and they're not covering the qualifying or practice sessions; Pay TV is only available through Foxtel at $50 per month for SD or $60 per month for HD), and they can't even get their mobile app to work reliably, or link your subscription to the web-site so you can get the data stream there.

I was promised linked app / website access for the first race in Australia; then they said it would be ready in April, then they said they couldn't process registrations which were made on the Google Play store when you buy the app, then they said it would be working in time for the Spanish Grand Prix (10 May), so I'm not in the least bit surprised its still not working for Monaco.

I'm a massive F1 fan, but getting access to my fortnightly fix is getting harder and harder ....

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Australia forces UberX drivers to become tax collectors

julianh72

Re: Here comes the drill...

By the same logic, there should be no GST on a Domino's pizza, because each of the hole-in-the-wall outlets is a separately franchised "small business", and the guy who delivers it is an independent contractor (not an employee) who makes at the most a couple of hundred dollars a week.

No, these are global multi-billion-dollar businesses, and they engineer their income structures to gain a competitive advantage by declaring all their income in low tax havens. They should be collecting and paying their taxes, insurances and licence fees in whatever countries they operate.

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NO, Joe Hockey, a 'Netflix tax' wouldn't raise 'billions'

julianh72

Re: yep thats right

"The Thick of It" is a better reflection of wheelings and dealings in government / bureaucracy in the 21st century! (I would love to be a fly on the wall when Malcolm Tucker gives Joe Hockey a bollocking!)

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julianh72

Google and GST

If you scroll to the bottom of the page on the Australian Google Play site, it clearly says "All prices include GST" for apps, books, movies and TV shows, etc, so hopefully this is a true statement, and the GST is indeed rendered to the ATO.

Interestingly, if you click on "Devices", it takes you to the Google Store page, and there is no statement about GST there as far as I can tell. I have bought a few Nexus devices from the Google Play site in the past (before they moved "Devices" to the new Google Store). The dealings were with a Google Singapore subsidiary, and while some of the invoices stated that the invoice price included Tax, some indicated no tax was collected. Where Tax was shown, the amount was not always 1/11 of the full invoice price, which it should be for the Australian GST of 10%. Also the Invoice was not labelled as a "Tax Invoice", and there was no ABN, which suggests to me that the invoice would not meet the requirements of a GST Receipt for Australian Tax purposes. In other words, it would appear that Google Singapore sometimes collected some tax for somebody, but it isn't clear where that tax was sent.

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Stop climate change by drinking Coca-Cola says Oz government

julianh72

The answer is obvious, really ...

Everybody knows that if you leave a bottle or can of soft drink (Australian term for "soda") open, it loses its fizz. This is true for both flavoured carbonated drinks and unflavoured Soda Water.

All we need to do is have a big Soda Water plant attached to every coal-fired power station, making gigalitres of soda water. The soda water can be dumped into a holding pond for a few days until it loses its fizz, and then the fresh water can be released for other purposes, or even recycled to make the next batch of soda water.

Simple!

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Apple Watch 'didn't work on HAIRY FANBOIS, was stripped of sensor tech'

julianh72

Re: We are only thinking of your health

"I think you have discovered a new source of green energy! We can use treadmill-generators to run our data centres."

No ... given the reported battery life issues, you need to be on the treadmill to keep the Apple Watch powered up. Some commentators have noted that this tends to limit the portability of the device, but Apples Execs have been keen to highlight the health benefits of a smartwatch which requires you to be constantly active to keep it charged.

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$10,000 Ethernet cable promises BONKERS MP3 audio experience

julianh72

It's nice to see that they offer Finance, so even schmucks who don't have $10,000 to spare can still afford one.

(And it includes free delivery in the UK.)

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ALIEN fossils ON MARS: Curiosity snaps evidence of life

julianh72

Re: Unconvincing hype @ ST

Perhaps you should at least peruse the paper before decrying it as bunkum. The author absolutely does NOT make any claims that:

"- there is only one way these bumps could have been created - namely bacteria

- the mud bumps on Mars were created by the same exact process as the mud bumps on Earth"

What she DID say is as follows (taken from the abstract):

"In this paper, the similarities of the macroscopic morphologies, spatial associations, and temporal succession of sedimentary structures on Mars to MISS preserved on Earth has led to the following hypothesis: The sedimentary structures in the <3.7 Ga Gillespie Lake Member on Mars are ancient MISS produced by interactions between microbial mats and their environment. Proposed here is a strategy for detecting, identifying, confirming, and differentiating possible MISS during current and future Mars missions."

Notice anything about that last sentence?

"... a strategy for detecting, identifying, confirming, and differentiating ..."

That's called Science!

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julianh72

Re: Unconvincing hype

That debate is far from closed!

E.g. "Mars Meteorite with Odd 'Tunnels' & 'Spheres' Revives Debate Over Ancient Martian Life"

By Megan Gannon, News Editor | February 28, 2014 01:00am ET

http://www.space.com/24834-strange-mars-meteorite-life-evidence-debate.html

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julianh72

Re: Natural causes ?

If you check the actual article http://online.liebertpub.com/doi/pdf/10.1089/ast.2014.1218 , she hasn't actually claimed that she has found compelling evidence for life on Mars. She has published a "Hypothesis Article" entitled "Ancient Sedimentary Structures in the <3.7 Ga Gillespie Lake Member, Mars, That Resemble Macroscopic Morphology, Spatial Associations, and Temporal Succession in Terrestrial Microbialites", and provides a hypothesis (NOT a claim!) that "The sedimentary structures in the <3.7 Ga Gillespie Lake Member on Mars are ancient MISS produced by interactions between microbial mats and their environment", and spells out what further detailed investigations this would prompt to test the hypotheses. Specifically, she gives "a strategy for detecting, identifying, confirming, and differentiating possible MISS during current and future Mars missions."

Seems like an entirely reasonable and scientific basis to me, which will no doubt be examined and tested by others; i.e. in accordance with "The Scientific Method".

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Hate the BlackBerry Z10 and Passport? How about this dusty old flashback instead?

julianh72

"If it ain't broke don't fix it"

But the corollary would be:

"If it is broken, fix it!"

Blackberry is very broken, and it desperately needs to be fixed.

(Either that, or put out of its misery.)

Somehow, I don't think the Classic will fix Blackberry!

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WAITER! There's a Flappy Bird in my Lollipop!

julianh72

So it scrolls from right-to-left ...

... instead of left-to-right....

That should satisfy all of the copyright concerns then. There's simply no way this is a rip-off of someone else's idea!

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'In... 15 feet... you will be HIT BY A TRAIN' Google patents the SPLAT-NAV

julianh72

Wouldn't it be simpler to just ...

... put a function in the OS which monitors the phone's accelerometers, and disables "social media" apps such as email / gmail / Twitter / Facebook etc whenever the phone recognises that the user is walking? (Or at least pops up a window that says something like "Oi! Watch where you're going!")

Should I patent that before anyone else has the same idea?

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Still using e-mail? Marketers say you're part of DARK SOCIAL

julianh72
Big Brother

I'll bet that ...

... these "Dark Social" scum are the same free-loaders who watch TV without filling in ratings surveys, hang up on telemarketers, walk past "marketing muggers" in shopping malls without so much as making eye contact, and never fill in the survey forms at hotels where they stay.

Anti-social vermin! Have they no concept of our shared responsibility to assist in the collection of marketing data?

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What HAS BEEN SEEN? OMG it's a thing that looks like an iWatch

julianh72

Re: The mind boggles

Don't forget the really important bit that makes it "non-obvious":

16. The apparatus defined in claim 15 wherein the camera window trim structure has grooves on the curved exterior surface.

Grooves?! They're putting grooves on the curved exterior surface?!!! OMG!!!

Anybody could make a camera window trim structure with a curved exterior surface, but it takes true genius to see the potential of putting grooves on it!

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julianh72

Why don't Apple just go the whole hog?

"What is claimed is:

A thing which may contain one or more other things, each of which may perform one or more functions."

There, that should just about cover it!

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Internet is a TOOL OF SATAN that destroys belief, study claims

julianh72

Great news!

So the internet causes people to lose their religious faith? That's fantastic news - and I thought all it was good for was porn and cat videos.

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Boffins devise world's HARDEST tongue-twister

julianh72

I'm not the pheasant plucker ...

... I'm the pheasant plucker's son

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julianh72
Coat

But the real prize goes to ...

... anyone who can say "Stefanie Shattuck-Hufnagel" ten times in succession without doing themselves an injury.

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Apple's 'Smart Dock' patent filing makes Siri your new roommate

julianh72
Thumb Down

So ... does my car's integrated Bluetooth system infringe Apple's patent?

I have a 2012 Mazda with factory-integrated voice-activated Bluetooth control over my paired "electronic device". It seems to me that Apple's patent would seek to retrospectively apply to this system.

The user request may be a request to utilize one or more services, applications, and/or functionalities of [the] portable electronic device such as placing a phone call, playing multimedia content ... sending a message ...

Yep! That's exactly what my car's Bluetooth system does!

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Sony patents LASER-FIRING Wi-Fi SMARTWIG with sideburn buttons

julianh72
WTF?

And you can voice-control it by saying ....

"Okay Toupee" ...

But I'm really waiting for the inevitable "Smart Merkin"

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Digital deviants: The many MAD COMPUTERS of Doctor Who

julianh72

Re: Still, there's naught wrong with high explosives as a debugging tool.

...

End User: "Yes, I've turned it off and on again."

BOFH: "Have you tried blowing it up?"

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Horrific FLESH-EATING PLATYPUS once terrorised Australia

julianh72

Gotta love "The Wonderful Land of Oz"!

Giant toothed platypodes, killer koalas ... http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/01/31/drop_bear_killer_koala_science_fun/ ...

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iPad 4 is so OVER: 5 times as many fanbois now using iPad Air - survey

julianh72
Trollface

Re: I suppose...

The last flight I took, my company put me back in cattle class, so my company-supplied laptop stayed in its carry bag, and I got out my N7 (perfect for those tiny fold-down flaps they laughingly intend you to work on and eat your meal from!) and read books and magazines, watched movies, and played games. If my company wants me to work on flights, they can darn well put me up front in Business Class, where there is enough room to work with a "proper" laptop!

(Oh yes - If I really feel the urge to make last minute edits on a PowerPoint presentation, Word Document, or Excel spreadsheet, I can do that with QuickOffice on the N7.)

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New iPad mini gobbles Retina display, 64-bit brain, puts on little weight

julianh72

Re: more or less the same size and resolution as any competing 7-8" tablet.

The original iPad Mini had more or less the same size and resolution as any $200 (or cheaper) 7-8" tablet, (Fixed it for you.)

The "competing" 7-8" tablets (think Nexus 7, Kindle HD, etc) had much higher resolutions - and are considerably cheaper than even the old iPad Mini.

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julianh72

Re: Innovation

... said Apple CEO Tim Cook ... adding that "these amazing products are examples of the type of innovation that only Apple can deliver."

Yep, that's officially "Innovation" (TM) from Apple.

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