Posts by Unep Eurobats

These could become multi-purpose venues

They could offer things that you can't get online: a decent cup of coffee; a haircut and other grooming; bike maintenance; readings and music events.

Something like this could revitalise the high street and become the future of retail.

No headphone jack?

Don't call me Jack.

Nothing to be seen in Blighty

Alas.

Had one of those stealth fighters been in the vicinity?

"They’ll get into any cavity."

If I'd had an operation in that hospital recently I'd be rather concerned.

"improving performance for the ... end user"

Yes, I'm sure they will definitely appreciate the extra efficiency ... for a very brief moment.

They should have realised

As soon as they saw that the sharks were armed with frikkin' flintlocks.

You still have to put it in your mouth?

Who has time for that? Just fix me up to the drip, nurse.

Or you could decide to stay indoors

... when the smart pollution sensors tell you just how unhealthy it is out on the streets.

If only we were a member of some transnational body that could pass clean-air laws and fine our government when it broke them.

Unep Eurobats has already outsourced his El Reg comments to a bot

I'm much wittier than he ever was.

My consultancy

... has recently been in talks with Steve Bong to rebrand that blue thing above our heads as WorldRoof™.

Haven't heard of R

I blame El Reg for not headsupping me with a cunningly punning and absurdly alliterative headline. After all it must be the preferred programming paradigm of pirates.

Avocation

Get you.

Avocation (n): holiday for an avocet

Took me a couple of reads to work out what a guh-raj was. But a pleasure, as always Verity.

Yes please

I'd also like one for trees. And an audio app for birdsong.

Even more useful would be a plant-identifier for foragers. Someone who always knows which mushrooms to eat would be a real funghi to be with. However I imagine there could be legal difficulties with that one: there'd have to be a massive disclaimer every time you used it.

So the trouble with taking back control

... is that somebody actually has to do some controlling.

It's the law, isn't it

EU rules still apply until we've actually left.

It's like your wife is divorcing you but you can't stop her using the fridge until the decree nisi comes through granting you custody of the white goods.

Love it

More power to their pedals.

The Brexit cloud

may have a silver lining for vapers, it seems.

So...

Ceci n'est pas un comment.

As a prominent digital influencer myself

I feel I ought to make it quite clear that no one has paid me anything to write this comment.

Scaremongering

Now where have I heard that word before recently?

I've used the BA boarding pass app

And it was fine.

G-Spotify

I thought the bad-taste Good Vibrations suggestion was going to be something involving, er, automated self-pleasure, shall we say.