* Posts by psychonaut

720 posts • joined 11 Sep 2012

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Admins rejoice. Microsoft brings Azure Automation to the UK

psychonaut
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Brentrance? really?

is that like this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06GoD-_NOWY

as in how to make a Brentrance?

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Stanford boffins find 'correlation between caffeine consumption and longevity'

psychonaut
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can someone now...

do the same research, except with alcohol please? if that one turns up trumps as well, i am never going to die. or maybe caffeinated alcohol? that would be say red bull and vodka right? or victory gin....double plus good

my tea is the one in the pint glass

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It's now 2017, and your Windows PC can still be pwned by a Word file

psychonaut
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Meanwhile, Adobe is updating blah de fucking blah

jesus christ. it never stops. luckily, i dont have to worry about it as of about a year ago. i dont even use flash on the floors here anymore

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What do you call a firm that leaves customer financials unencrypted on a hard drive? RSA

psychonaut
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is anyone suprised about this stuff anymore?

i mean anyone? bueller?

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BOOST! LEGO's computing future and its ground-breaking past

psychonaut
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the devil is in the lightly skipped over detail

apart from this being one of the coolest things i can use my 3 year old as an excuse to buy,

"and an automated production line capable of building miniature Lego models."

so...it can make copies of itself?

this needs to be stamped out surely. a self replicating self replicator. hedgmonising swarm anyone?

assuming the robot overlords have just inserted "miniturised" into the marketing blurb as a way of distracting our attention, so we might think, hey, it can only build smaller models of itself, which could build a smaller model etc so ...hey lets not worry, but what if **gasp** this is fud, and it can actually build itself?

fancy being ruled by either ever increasingly smaller danish robots, or just danish robots?

has noone seen south park recently? Denmark has a lot to answer for

is it any coincidence that lego is actually EGO with an L on the front? i think not!

mines the one with the pointy silver lego hat

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British military laser death ray cannon contract still awarded, MoD confirms

psychonaut
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Should that not be the good hearted sir fergal sharkey ?

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Chinese boffins: We're testing an 'impossible' EM Drive IN SPAAAACE

psychonaut
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Re: Many Bothans died to bring us this plot device

@Maffski. "it just demonstrates that our understanding of those laws is incomplete"

i dont think you'll find a physicist alive or dead that thinks our current understanding of the physical laws of the universe is anywhere near complete, and may never be.

we strive to find the best model to describe the universe from the the data we observe.

the best bits in science are "hmm, thats a bit odd"

theres a common misconception that the public has that scientists think "yup, we know everything". its simply not the case. the best scientists are able to completely change their opinion because of new data or phenomenon - this really should apply to all scientists. if we thought we knew everything, there would be no point in doing experiments now would there??

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Virgin America mid-flight panic after moron sets phone Wi-Fi hotspot to 'Samsung Galaxy Note 7'

psychonaut
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Re: Reality check

or the mac could have been spoofed

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Smartphones crashed, Samsung burned: Mobile in 2016

psychonaut
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The only one?

Anyone with a brain knew smart watches were going to be useless. Hell, I dont even wear a watch as of 20 years ago

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HTC and OnePlus spruce up flagships for Santa's sack

psychonaut
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Re: start all new phone aritcles

if you use your phone with everything on, all day long (wifi, bluetooth, gps, mobile data, and on the phone all day) as i do, your battery will be about half as good as it was within about 9 months.

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psychonaut
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start all new phone aritcles

with :

removable battery: yes / no

sd slot: yes / no

would make it easier (for me at least) to figure out if its worth reading about anything else, like, as the guy above said, "BoomSound Audio Adaptive"....double plus get to fuck

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Windows 10 nags, Dirty Cow, Microsoft's Linux man love: The Reg's big ones for 2016

psychonaut
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ftfy

Elsewhere in paranoia, it was Internet of Things. The growing market for “things” went hand-in-hand with concern that routers, web cams, PoS

should read

Elsewhere in paranoia, it was Internet of Things. The growing market for “things” went hand-in-hand with concern that routers, web cams ARE PoS

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Support chap's Sonic Screwdriver fixes PC as user fumes in disbelief

psychonaut
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laptops.....get little triangular stickers about 5mm on a side of different colours

get some old jam jars

put triangular sticker pointing to screwhole of all screws that are the same size, put them in the corresponding jar.

makes it a doddle.

for cars though, the carboard idea above is the best

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Ransomware scum offer free decryption if you infect two mates

psychonaut
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he may have got stuff out of shadow volumes (google shadow explorer)

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psychonaut
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Re: @MyBackDoor

use carbonite.

they have point in time restore. if you get hit, you get in touch and they can roll your backup back to before it happened. then you rebuild the machine, and press "get my files back" and thats it, job done. it can take a while to get all your data if you have a lot of it but you do get it back. you might lose some changes - they have to roll back to before anything was encrypted, but you wont lose much.

ive seen it work in anger. i sell lots of it, you can make reasonable money out of it.

unlimited storage is £69 dollars a year per device (for non server OS)

its more expensive for servers of course but they have products that do all of that too.

it really is very good indeed for the money.

this is for non server/domain setups - not many small offices i deal with can afford a server, but you can also set up a spare pc (say dual core intel, 4gb ram, ssd if needed - hp elte 8000 for instance, say £50 for the box, £40 quid for the backup disk, same for [primary unless you want ssd) as a data server, then have network shares to it under a standard account. put a big backup disk in it and have macrium or windows backup run to that, remove permissions for standard users to access the backup disk. i prefer macrium because it can email if it is successfull or failed.

then you have a box that cryptolocker can get at through the network shares, but it cant get at the backup disk.

if you back that pc up with carbonite (69 dollars a year), you have belt and braces. (in case of fire, theft, stupidity)

you can then run openvpn if you want remote access to the files, put prooper security on it etc etc....miles better than a nas.

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90 per cent of the UK's NHS is STILL relying on Windows XP

psychonaut
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Re: Now I feel old

i think you might be right about the bbc-b. i think its the one in my garage.

mines the one with the 32kb ram soldered on

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Eugene Kaspersky is now personally defending your feet

psychonaut
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Re: What a pity

i dont think you'd need any prophylactics after looking at his face

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psychonaut
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Coat

im assuming

now even your tootsies can be SSL compliant with kaspersky's new Secure Sock-ets Layer

coat? TAXI!

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Vegans furious as Bank of England admits ‘trace’ of animal fat in £5 notes

psychonaut
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if you are going to have a priciple

then stick by it. dont use the fivers. its your principle (could be religious, vegan, etc, whatever) and it may inconvenience you. thats half of the point isnt it? its your problem, deal with it, dont whine about it.

ive never met a vegan (ive not met many but one of my close friends is one) who has stopped driving due to all the innocent flies they kill whilst driving around. its too inconvenient she (and the other few i have asked whn i come across them) says. it only seems to be a principle when its convenient.

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Outlook outage outrage

psychonaut
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get it hosted

by someone who isnt a total cock.

use a local, small sized, dedicated hosting firm. hosted exchange is bloody lovely if it s looked after by the right people.

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psychonaut
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they left out....

thanks to psychonaut for tipping us off...

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Low-end notebook, rocking horse shit or hen's teeth

psychonaut
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Re: News? Or "olds"?

got feedback from customer who bought the x250 with the extended battery that i sold her - lasted her from friday afternoon till 3pm monday. dont know exactly what her usage was or how hard she was using it, but she asked for a very long battery life presumably cos she uses it a lot, its pretty impressive.

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psychonaut
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Re: News? Or "olds"?

its not a sammy battery....its a sammy ssd

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psychonaut
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Re: new entry level laptops

second hand lenovo x250.....put big battery in....20 hours claimed life.

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psychonaut
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Re: News? Or "olds"?

second hand lenovo x250. put samsung 850 pro in it. put the big battery in it (about 60 quid)....apparantly lasts "up to 20 hours". even if its half of whats claimed, its exceptional.

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psychonaut
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new entry level laptops

they all seem woefully underpowered. get a 3 or 4 year old machine with a dual core intel, bung a samsung 850 pro ssd in it. if it has 3 or more gb of ram, it will outperforms the new entry level stuff anyway. put win 7 on it, happy days.

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Irish eyes are crying: Tens of thousands of broadband modems wide open to hijacking

psychonaut
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bobby tables

great handle!!

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Dyn Dyn Dyn – we have a buyer: Oracle gobbles Internet of Things DDoS victim

psychonaut
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Re: Business process...

1)buy dyn

2) install adobe reader and mcafee for every dns search

3) money!!

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Why I just bought a MacBook Air instead of the new Pro

psychonaut
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Keyboard / battery replacement

Just take it to a local it shop. They'll replace keyboard and battery for you. As it's an apple they'll probably charge you extra but you'll get the whole thing done for less than 150 quid and probably the same day

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psychonaut
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Re: Tools not toys...

X1 carbons are superb. You can pick up a second hand 8gb 256gb ssd one for about 400 quid. They aren't upgradeable though but they do run win 7 very nicely indeed

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User needed 40-minute lesson in turning it off and turning it on again

psychonaut
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Re: My Favorite

it does ring a bell huh? maybe cos theres a grain of truth in it...

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psychonaut
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Re: A gender thing?

no daughters...just 2 boys. and 5 nephews. no chance of that in my family im afraid!

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psychonaut
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Re: The Register Annual 2017 - you read it here first

i doubt its made up. people can be stupid, arrogant and beligerent. i had to have someone send me a picture of the back of their pc so as i could put a ring around the vga socket on the pci graphics card (in paint) instead of the motherboard graphics card and send it back to him, even though, after 15 minutes of them calling me all manner of things and insisting that it wasnt there and that the pc wasnt working (he's plugged the monitor into the motherboard vga socket instead of the pci graphcs card, it wouldnt display from that port. i knew trhis was the problem from the minute he phoned me, but he wouldnt have it)

he even blamed me afterwards for not being able to point it out over the phone. theres only so many ways you can tell someone to look for the same colour, same shape socket but a bit more towards the floor on a piece of real estate that is at best about 20 cm by 40.

the guy is an fucking idiot and his behavior is always like this, its never his fault whatever happens (he decided to upgrade 2 of the office machines to win 10 against my advice, and all the file shares and security went to shit, as well as the network card disconnecting randomly until new drivers were released about 4 months ago...would he let me change the network card? would he f*ck) , but most importantly, he doesnt actually listen to what you are telling him and just blames you for it not working instead of maybe realising that it is his fault.

i think this is why you are getting the downvotes

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psychonaut
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Re: Similar experience

i have a user (he's 92) who has always used his mouse upside down. its what he knows and it works for him...

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psychonaut
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Re: The mouse that never worked in the afternoon..

blimey - good work there guys.

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psychonaut
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Re: F+1+2?

ive learned the same lessons, but the problem with this is that the worst users will say "yes im doing it im doing it" when they dont actually listen to what you are telling them in the first place.

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psychonaut
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Re: What do you mean by "click"?

haha ! you an me both mate. if you cant use a keyboard then you really need to be in a job without IT requirements. ive not had it that bad, but nearly.

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psychonaut
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it just goes on and on

its not to do with jargon, although yes, it could be. but when we are dealing with this kind of user sometimes i lose faith that people can actually function at all in the modern world.

the power button issue. i see this too. imagine its a tv. can you use your tv? yes you can. well, its the same symbol, the same principal, it has a button. it needs to be turned on. usually the same one turns it off. how can you not know this?

if i asked someone the make of their car, they would go and figure it out. ask them the make of their pc....err, is it a microsoft?

people turn the monitor on and off when asked to turn the pc off and back on quite regularly.

ive had a customer who said "oh, no i dont deal with that, my husband would have to be asked" when i asked her if she had any 4 way mains adaptors/plug boards anywhere. that wasnt jargon, i explained it in many different ways, it was just a total almost religious denial that such a thing could be comprehended by her.

it wasnt that she didnt know what they were, it was that they basically dont exist in her universe. eeeuuurghhh i cant deal with it - someone else help!

ive had people manage to jam usb cables into ethernet sockets (they just about fit - try diagnosing that one over the phone....it took a while)

this is a transcript of a job that i had that i summarised and emailed to another technician:

So I've been trying to figure out what the fuck is going on this blokes machine.

Remotely, I fixed outlook for him, rebooted and he said the screen was blank.

I could see his screen and use it.

Check monitor is ok. Its fine

Teamviewer said there were 2 monitors.

So I moved a window over to the second monitor and he could see it.

So I said, ok, so the right hand screen is ok, but the other screen is blank though.

Repeat:

What other screen he said?

I said, the other screen that you have

Until frustration = how fucking stupid are you

So I look in device manager. 2 screens. I check the graphics properties. Extend desktop is on, showing 2 screens.

I update graphics driver.

I search the web. 2 other people on the planet have had issues with this. none of the fixes work.

I eventually figure out that he has plugged the same monitor, which has a vga and a hdmi port, into the same pc, with both cables.

ive got a guy who has called me 3 times in the last month because his speakers dont work. every fucking time they arent turned on.

theres the users that, when yopu say "right, can you see this on the screen, it must be there" immediately say "no, its not there, i keep telling you" and get all pissed off. they havent even had the time to look properly, they dont bother, and it is there, they just havent seen it. these people are a problem,

i love the earlier comment "they stopped thinking, and so called support" (im paraphrasing possibly) - but its true. a lot of people freak out and forget, or dont have the inbuilt tools, to deal with tech in the way they would deal with any other kind of problem their brains just dissolve.

it used to really piss me off, im much better at it now, i find it funny more than anything these days, but blimey, its a shitty irritating job sometiimes.

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Mac book, whoa! Apple unveils $300 design tome

psychonaut
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Get aluminium. Get glue. Make components accessible. ..no fuck that, let's make them take the flimsy glass plate off then the screen too, more glue. Deliberately cripple thermal sensor so you can't change hard drive. Put really strong magnets next to the screws that hold the screen in so it takes fucking ages to put them back in. Now the mac book. ..how many screws for the keyboard. 20? Nah...fuck em, make it 50 and get this, make em tiny. Make retina screen changeable? Nah make em replace the whole top half. Mix it all up in a blender. More aluminium. Bosch. Job done.

Love, Johnny.

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Is password security at just $1/month too expensive for most?

psychonaut
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Logmein

Bitter experience with lmi pricing a few years back suggests price hikes to come soon in the region of 10 times what you are currently paying. And/ or they will pull the free service with a few days notice

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Let's praise Surface, not bury it

psychonaut
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Core 2 duo

There's really no need in the mass market for new kit. 4 or 5 years old. bung ssd in. 4gb ram. WIN 7. Will do just about any day to day office / home user task imaginable. Hp elite 8000 sff for instance. 50 quid. 128gb 850 pro 70 quid. Heck, chuck in an nvidia 210 1gb card for 18 quid if you want. Outperforms most new win 10 desktops and a shit load more reliable and no win 10 bullshit. My suppliers constantly run out of c2d ...they sell boat loads of them as do I.

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Smoking hole found on Mars where Schiaparelli lander, er, 'landed'

psychonaut
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Hi res not needed

The big object is clearly the remains of a whale and the smaller looks like petunias....

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Drone exercise will transform future naval warfare, says Navy

psychonaut
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hey, at least we could actually put some flying things on our new aircraft carriers. if they just went to maplin and bought 10,000 kids copters it would save us all a forutne, and be fucking awesome. imagine a swarm of them descending on the isis hq.

ow. whats that ow. bloody helicopter just nearly took my eye out. aah. get off....oh my god....LOOOOOK as the grey cloud of toddler raptors envelops them........thats no cloud....RUN! RUUUUUN

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Smell burning? Samsung’s 'Death Note 7' could still cause a contagion

psychonaut
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anybody got any idea what phone i should get now?

needs...big screen, removable battery. sd slot. water proof / resistant would be nice. big battery.

doesnt seem to be much out there.

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psychonaut
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Re: Note 7 was never the best Android phone by far

bloody hell. didnt read hardly any of that, but yes, the note 3 was great, camera was a bit shit in low light though. the 4 isnt much better though and ive had some issues with call quality on it.

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psychonaut
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Re: Disagree with general consensus here...

yup, i can kill a battery so that it lasts about half the time compared to when it was new in about 9 months.gps, bluettoth, wifi , 4g, all the toys get used all day long. oh, and phone calls obviously. i dont want to have to wander around with a fucking heavy battery pack in my pocket all day. pull back off, new battery for 20 quid or so and im good to go. i was so dissapointed when the note 7 didnt have a removable battery and was looking around for a new phone (its upgrade time now!!) ...im kinda glad it didnt have a removable battery now.

what gets me is that noone makes a waterproof (to like 1m , so it can survive a fall into, say, a sink or a toilet for a small period of time, i dont want to scuba dive with the bloody thing) phone with a removable battery. its not impossible is it? rubber membrane and screws, pig vat, KY, whatever. make the thing 2mm thicker or whatever. my phone is already massive, im not going to worry about it being a bit thicker. and put a bigger battery in it while you are at it.

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Samsung halts production of Galaxy Note 7

psychonaut
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Re: A lesson to be learnt

its not about changing it day to day, its about knackering the thing so it only holds half its charge within 9 months. bung a new battery in, good to go for 9 months again at full capacity.

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psychonaut
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Re: Waterproof

Yes exactly. All you need are some screws and a rubber strip and maybe some pig fat. Alright you can't go diving with that but it's definately good enough for dropping it in the sink

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'Please label things so I can tell the difference between a mouse and a microphone'

psychonaut
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You are not alone

I get that once every few months too

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When Pornhub meets the Internet of Fridges

psychonaut
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finally....

somewhere i can keep the fanny batter fresh for weeks

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