* Posts by harmjschoonhoven

604 posts • joined 3 Sep 2012


Wanna work for El Reg? Developers needed for headline-writing AI bots


Re: functional alcoholism

I 'll drink to that.

Summary of job ad: register headlines software writing technology successful scientists people neural headline familiarity engineering editorial developers create.

No Boffins? This must be fake news or it is ....

Surprise UK raid of Cambridge Analytica delayed: Nobody expects the British information commissioner!



If you were smart enough you could create an entirely innocuous shadow data centre, but CA is not smart. See how they walked with open eyes into the Ch4 trap about a Sri Lankan "client" without apparently doing any desk-research.

Cambridge Analytica CEO suspended – and that's not even the worst news for them today


Re: Too mild

Re: I'd suggest banning the Mercer family from any oxygen use.

You are not suggesting a few mg of Novichok, are you? Naughty, naughty!

BTW what is that Facebook thing they are writing about, I never visited their website.

Bitcoin's blockchain: Potentially a hazardous waste dump of child abuse, malware, etc


Re: Since when is currency clean?

When Picasso lived in Paris shortly after 1900 he was too poor to pay his restaurant bills. But his talent was recognized and on several occasions he took a 5 Francs note, scribbled on it, signed it and the value jumped to 50 Francs, enough to pay the waiter. If it would survive to the present day it could be auctioned for millions even if it had accummulated a thick layer of shit.

Windows 10 to force you to use Edge, even if it isn't default browser


Re: Fucking idiots

AFAIR I changed the Desktop Background to a nerve-relaxing darkgreen with tiles showing in black I hate Microsoft - I hate Microsoft - I hate Microsoft in five-pixel high microfont for every Microsoft Windows® PC where I could do that.

MS gave me always the feeling I had only a teaspoon to hammer a nail in a wall, where UX gave me a toolkit with the lightest and most elegant tools to a sledgehammer.

FYI: AI tools can unmask anonymous coders from their binary executables


Re: sample set is too small

That you are paranoid does not mean they are not out to get you.

On the other hand, after three days without coding, life becomes meaningless.

Your mouse can't reach that Excel cell? Buy a 'desk extender' said help desk bluffer


Re: Wendell should have offered

Dave 126 reminds me that I had for years a chromium-plated mouse treadmill on my desk. AFAIR, I finally donated it to the owner of a hamster in need of some exercise.

Hansa down, this is cool: How Dutch cops snatched the wheel of dark web charabanc


Re: grow a tulip whilst cycling

@Alan Brown: It can be done.

Too many bricks in the wall? Lego slashes inventory


LEGO bricks

(ABS) dissolved in acetone makes excellent glue or thick paste. It hardens to the air. Use titanium sheet as non-sticking frame. Just saying.

New algorithm could help self-driving cars scout out hidden objects


Re: In the laboratory,

And even in the laboratory you 'll probably only be able to detect a anaesthetized white rabbit, not a black cat.


In the laboratory,

where you have full control over the external light sources, non line of sight imaging might well work, but not in the real sunlit world.

Spectre haunts Intel's SGX defense: CPU flaws can be exploited to snoop on enclaves


@Mark 85

Physical access is total control.

Mine is the one with the Skandia T20 in the pocket.

Fun fact: US Customs slaps eyeglass taxes on optical networking gear


Famous quote

An intimate friend of Faraday once described to me how, when Faraday was endeavouring to explain to Gladstone and several others an important new discovery in science Gladstone's only commentary was 'but, after all, what use is it?" 'Why, sir,' replied Faraday, 'there is every probability that you will soon be able to tax it!'"

W.E.H. Lecky

Developer recovered deleted data with his face – his Poker face


@AC Re: DEL & * catastrophe

bash shell ksh script (AIX UNIX)



Re: undelete

Some twenty years ago a not too bright colleague deleted a file on his Irix workstation. He downloaded from a Russian website a program that was supposed to undelete files on a UNIX system, but in fact was malware. It took our service department several days to restore some order. Fortunately the damage was restricted to this one machine and we mocked our colleague with the story for a long time.

Winter Olympics website downed by cyber attack


Re: Antarctica

Those sneaky penguins are just brooding on their nuclear bomb shaped eggs. They aren't afraid of anything.

BOFH: We want you to know you have our full support



I regularly receive emails in very large font, for the visual impaired you know, with at the end the text Think about the environment before you print this mail., which gets printed on a single new page if you dare to do that.

MY GOD, IT'S FULL OF CARS: SpaceX parks a Tesla in orbit (just don't mention the barge)


Universal Parking, Inc.

Great Sci-Fi story from Nature:


Dinosaurs gathered at NASA Goddard site for fatal feeding frenzy


@John Brown (no body)

The index fossil of human civilisation (*) will be the bottlecap. Archeologists will quarrel over the distinction between, what we call, the Cola-Cola and Pepsi-Cola variant. They will also notice an association with concretions of hollow metal cilinders of seemingly standardized sizes.

(*) Mahatma Gandhi answered ~1947 to the question what his opinion was on Western civilisation: What civilisation?.

New click-to-hack tool: One script to exploit them all and in the darkness TCP bind them


"As with anything, it can be used for good or bad," the security researcher added. "The responsibility is with the person using it. I am not going to play gatekeeper to information. I believe information should be free and I am a fan of open source in general."

It is important to have an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out.

Thar she blows: Strava heat map shows folk on shipwreck packed with 1,500 tonnes of bombs


Even after a century

hundreds of tonnes of unexploded shells are recovered and disposed of year after year from the battlefields of WW I in France and Belgium.

Timeout everyone. Y'all know that Musk's $500 'flamethrower' is literally a Boring blowtorch?

Thumb Up

Ah, flamethrowers

I go for the real stuff: V1 on ice.


Re: they missed s trick.

Sgt_Oddball how dare you say that. I loooove spiders, but I do not live in Australia.

Stop us if you've heard this one before: Tokyo crypto-cash exchange 'hacked' for half a billion bucks


They did not even get their tulips back - so sad!

Here we go again... UK Prime Minister urges nerds to come up with magic crypto backdoors


While they are on it

the brightest and best can proof that π equals 4.00. Or if all fails the UK can make it a law (not valid in the EU, thank you).

Why did I buy a gadget I know I'll never use?

Thumb Up

Re: Boil?

@Whitter: I like to fry in Greek ILIADA virgin olive oil. FTFY. With a bit of hot curry powder. Yummy.

Today in bullsh*t AI PR: Computers learn to read as well as humans (no)


It would get interesting

if AI could suggest a sensible answer to the question Do you beat your wife only on Friday?.

Remember those holy tech wars we used to have? Heh, good times


Re: Bigendian vs. Littleendian

TIFF solved that, at least for cat-pictures.

Infamous Silicon Valley 'sex party' exactly as exciting as it sounds



Those nerds were only fiddling with male and female connectors.

Good lord, Kodak's stock is up 120 per cent. How? New film? Oh. It launched a crypto-coin


First do your watermarking

"The KODAKOne image rights management platform will create an encrypted, digital ledger of rights ownership for photographers to register both new and archive work that they can then license within the platform. ... KODAKOne platform provides continual web crawling in order to monitor and protect the IP of the images registered in the KODAKOne system"

But the only useful way to track the IP of images is to watermark them in a way that is both unobtrusive and robust against all kind of image processing including rescaling, cropping, distortions and compression. And we know that is feasible.

If Australian animals don't poison you or eat you, they'll BURN DOWN YOUR HOUSE


@ I ain't Spartacus

Dear Mr. S., the little woodbird makes his/her performance in Richard Wagner's opera Siegfried, not in Die Walküre.

Now that's sticker shock: Sticky labels make image-recog AI go bananas for toasters


The procedure

to follow is to subtract the "recognized" object from the image until no object is found above a certain threshold. In that case the banana will be found after the toaster.

First Allied submarine lost in World War One, found near New Guinea

Thumb Up

Cyril L. Baker

was the telegraphist aboard the AE1. Future marine archeologists can marvel at the early 20th century hardware as we do at the Antikythera mechanism.

How's this for a stocking filler next year? El Reg catches up with Gemini


Re: Dvorak keyboard

A Dvorak keyboard layout is fine. But stick to one keyboard layout. Years ago I had a Z-80 with a hand-wired Dvorak keyboard. That worked fine over the weekend, but on monday I had to retrain to the company QWERTY layout. AFAIR the Dvorak layout was tested on an American warhip where all keyboards had that layout with great succes.

Meet R2-DILDO: 'Star Wars' sex toys? This is where the fun begins


What Force?

They are battery operated ....

Kent woman to season festive dinner with her mother's ashes


To outdo the lady from Kent

a woman in the Netherlands had a tattoo "Mother" set with the ashes of her mother, so her mother would always be near to her.

Juno's July fly-by gave NASA a close-up of the Great Red Spot



thanks for the images. BTW there is no muzak in space, even boffins should know that.

Facebook Messenger ... for who now? Zuck points his digital crack at ever younger kids



has simply run out of flies to eat shit.

Apple sprays down bug-ridden iOS 11 with more fixes


Re: 'one that caused the calculator to return incorrect results if numbers are entered too quickly'

The calculator even gives the wrong result for 2+3. You learned the answer to that in school, didn't you?

AI taught to beat Sudoku puzzles. Now how about a time machine to 2005?


Re: Been there done that

Me Too. 2516 lines of C# code including an MIT expat open source license. Downloadable from my website.

Russian rocket snafu may have just violently dismantled 19 satellites


Re: "Those seem to be working just fine"

Whether Kim's ballistic rockets carry any payload at all is a good guarded secret. The Soyuz is designed to lift some 7000 kg to LEO.

Germany slaps ban on kids' smartwatches for being 'secret spyware'


A regular wristwatch

like Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin owned as a first-grader, a rare, expensive, and prestigious accessory for any age group in the time of postwar Soviet poverty in St. Petersburg.

Arecibo spared the axe: Iconic observatory vital to science lives on


Re: Welcome to 21st Century USA - How about an unbiased source?

The editorial Act for Science by Rush Holt in the 10 feb 2017 issue of Science and numerous other articles therein, most recently Astronomers relieved as U.S. funding agency moves to keep Arecibo telescope operating.

Biased? Not if you want evidence based politics.

Inside Internet Archive: 10PB+ of storage in a church... oh, and a little fight to preserve truth


Re: Backups

The problem is not to move the van. The problem is to fill the tapes.

Brace yourselves, fanboys. Winter is coming. And the iPhone X can't handle the cold


Re: as autumn weather turns to winter

Comparing the price of an iPhone X to the tariffs of budget airlines you might as well travel to the hemisphere where the sun shines.

Brit moron tried buying a car bomb on dark web, posted it to his address. Now he's screwed


Re: bomb on display

AFAIR it was the Science Museum in London that weighted the V-1 before they hoisted it up to put it on display to find that it had exactly the correct mass of 4740 lb and than realized that that included a ton of high explosive. Fortunately the V-1 was topped up with gravel to the listed weight instead.

Birds are pecking apart Australia's national broadband network


Not only birds

When there's no deer, or quail, or whatever it is hunters shoot up in The Dalles around, bored gunmen have been playing target practice with the insulators on Google's electricity distribution poles. It's so problematic Google's moving their fibers underground.

The fibers that are continually being shot down connect with Google's $600 million data center in The Dalles. It happens as soon as hunting season starts each November, so now a fed-up Google is building an underground path for it.


BOFH: Do I smell burning toes, I mean burning toast?


Re: Ah - museums

A couple of years ago the physicists at my uni got a brand new laboratory. The old building established in 1875 was taken over by the psychologists. Only then the huge cash of mercury under the floorboards was discovered.

Please activate the anti-ransomware protection in your Windows 10 Fall Creators Update PC. Ta


Cat and Mouse

I say no more.

Mastercard blockchain: Millions. Opening up the API: Priceless


Re: Explain 'Blockchain' in one sentence...

A 15cm diameter iron ball has a mass of 13.89kg. Unless it is hollow of course, which would be quite fitting for a Blockchain.


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