* Posts by harmjschoonhoven

579 posts • joined 3 Sep 2012

Page:

Why did I buy a gadget I know I'll never use?

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

Re: Boil?

@Whitter: I like to fry in Greek ILIADA virgin olive oil. FTFY. With a bit of hot curry powder. Yummy.

3
0

Today in bullsh*t AI PR: Computers learn to read as well as humans (no)

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
FAIL

It would get interesting

if AI could suggest a sensible answer to the question Do you beat your wife only on Friday?.

2
0

Remember those holy tech wars we used to have? Heh, good times

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge

Re: Bigendian vs. Littleendian

TIFF solved that, at least for cat-pictures.

2
0

Infamous Silicon Valley 'sex party' exactly as exciting as it sounds

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
WTF?

Sex?

Those nerds were only fiddling with male and female connectors.

10
0

Good lord, Kodak's stock is up 120 per cent. How? New film? Oh. It launched a crypto-coin

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
FAIL

First do your watermarking

"The KODAKOne image rights management platform will create an encrypted, digital ledger of rights ownership for photographers to register both new and archive work that they can then license within the platform. ... KODAKOne platform provides continual web crawling in order to monitor and protect the IP of the images registered in the KODAKOne system"

But the only useful way to track the IP of images is to watermark them in a way that is both unobtrusive and robust against all kind of image processing including rescaling, cropping, distortions and compression. And we know that is feasible.

6
0

If Australian animals don't poison you or eat you, they'll BURN DOWN YOUR HOUSE

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge

@ I ain't Spartacus

Dear Mr. S., the little woodbird makes his/her performance in Richard Wagner's opera Siegfried, not in Die Walküre.

1
0

Now that's sticker shock: Sticky labels make image-recog AI go bananas for toasters

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge

The procedure

to follow is to subtract the "recognized" object from the image until no object is found above a certain threshold. In that case the banana will be found after the toaster.

0
0

First Allied submarine lost in World War One, found near New Guinea

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

Cyril L. Baker

was the telegraphist aboard the AE1. Future marine archeologists can marvel at the early 20th century hardware as we do at the Antikythera mechanism.

1
0

How's this for a stocking filler next year? El Reg catches up with Gemini

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
Happy

Re: Dvorak keyboard

A Dvorak keyboard layout is fine. But stick to one keyboard layout. Years ago I had a Z-80 with a hand-wired Dvorak keyboard. That worked fine over the weekend, but on monday I had to retrain to the company QWERTY layout. AFAIR the Dvorak layout was tested on an American warhip where all keyboards had that layout with great succes.

4
0

Meet R2-DILDO: 'Star Wars' sex toys? This is where the fun begins

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
Facepalm

What Force?

They are battery operated ....

1
0

Kent woman to season festive dinner with her mother's ashes

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
Go

To outdo the lady from Kent

a woman in the Netherlands had a tattoo "Mother" set with the ashes of her mother, so her mother would always be near to her.

3
0

Juno's July fly-by gave NASA a close-up of the Great Red Spot

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge

JUNO,

thanks for the images. BTW there is no muzak in space, even boffins should know that.

0
0

Facebook Messenger ... for who now? Zuck points his digital crack at ever younger kids

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge

Zuck

has simply run out of flies to eat shit.

1
0

Apple sprays down bug-ridden iOS 11 with more fixes

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
WTF?

Re: 'one that caused the calculator to return incorrect results if numbers are entered too quickly'

The calculator even gives the wrong result for 2+3. You learned the answer to that in school, didn't you?

3
0

AI taught to beat Sudoku puzzles. Now how about a time machine to 2005?

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
Happy

Re: Been there done that

Me Too. 2516 lines of C# code including an MIT expat open source license. Downloadable from my website.

4
2

Russian rocket snafu may have just violently dismantled 19 satellites

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge

Re: "Those seem to be working just fine"

Whether Kim's ballistic rockets carry any payload at all is a good guarded secret. The Soyuz is designed to lift some 7000 kg to LEO.

7
0

Germany slaps ban on kids' smartwatches for being 'secret spyware'

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge

A regular wristwatch

like Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin owned as a first-grader, a rare, expensive, and prestigious accessory for any age group in the time of postwar Soviet poverty in St. Petersburg.

0
0

Arecibo spared the axe: Iconic observatory vital to science lives on

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge

Re: Welcome to 21st Century USA - How about an unbiased source?

The editorial Act for Science by Rush Holt in the 10 feb 2017 issue of Science and numerous other articles therein, most recently Astronomers relieved as U.S. funding agency moves to keep Arecibo telescope operating.

Biased? Not if you want evidence based politics.

8
2

Inside Internet Archive: 10PB+ of storage in a church... oh, and a little fight to preserve truth

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
Stop

Re: Backups

The problem is not to move the van. The problem is to fill the tapes.

2
0

Brace yourselves, fanboys. Winter is coming. And the iPhone X can't handle the cold

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
WTF?

Re: as autumn weather turns to winter

Comparing the price of an iPhone X to the tariffs of budget airlines you might as well travel to the hemisphere where the sun shines.

16
0

Brit moron tried buying a car bomb on dark web, posted it to his address. Now he's screwed

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
Happy

Re: bomb on display

AFAIR it was the Science Museum in London that weighted the V-1 before they hoisted it up to put it on display to find that it had exactly the correct mass of 4740 lb and than realized that that included a ton of high explosive. Fortunately the V-1 was topped up with gravel to the listed weight instead.

2
0

Birds are pecking apart Australia's national broadband network

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge

Not only birds

When there's no deer, or quail, or whatever it is hunters shoot up in The Dalles around, bored gunmen have been playing target practice with the insulators on Google's electricity distribution poles. It's so problematic Google's moving their fibers underground.

The fibers that are continually being shot down connect with Google's $600 million data center in The Dalles. It happens as soon as hunting season starts each November, so now a fed-up Google is building an underground path for it.

https://gizmodo.com/5644050/bored-hunters-in-oregon-are-regularly-shooting-down-googles-fibers

3
0

BOFH: Do I smell burning toes, I mean burning toast?

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge

Re: Ah - museums

A couple of years ago the physicists at my uni got a brand new laboratory. The old building established in 1875 was taken over by the psychologists. Only then the huge cash of mercury under the floorboards was discovered.

4
0

Please activate the anti-ransomware protection in your Windows 10 Fall Creators Update PC. Ta

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
WTF?

Cat and Mouse

I say no more.

7
6

Mastercard blockchain: Millions. Opening up the API: Priceless

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
Headmaster

Re: Explain 'Blockchain' in one sentence...

A 15cm diameter iron ball has a mass of 13.89kg. Unless it is hollow of course, which would be quite fitting for a Blockchain.

1
0

Hate to break it to you, but billions of people can see Uranus tonight

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge

Re: Avoirdupois

In 1676 Ole Rømer measured the speed of light from observations of Jupiter's moons as a little over three minutes per astronomical units. He did not know the actual length of 1 A.U. in Rijnlandse voeten, swimming pools (Olympic or otherwise), London double deckers or any other unit. For me 18.91 A.U. is still 157.27 lightminutes. Thank you.

1
0

Neutron stars shower gold on universe in big bang, felt on Earth as 100-second grav wave

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Microsoft faces Dutch crunch over Windows 10 private data slurp

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
Linux

Re: Someone called yesterday from "MS security"

@Chemist

I know him. He's the one that ends the conversation with "MøTHERF*CKER!!" after he realizes he is wasting his time.

13
0

What is the probability of being drunk at work and also being tested? Let's find out! Correctly

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

A good stategy

The old Tartars made their battle plans in two stages. First completely drunk at which stage all kind of silly suggestions were made. The next day when they were sobered up they made the real battle plan. It seemed to have served them well.

0
0

Cost of Africa's internet shutdowns? $1m a day – quarter of a billion total

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge

@hellwig

But I suppose forcing Microsoft, Google, Facebook, Apple, Twitter, etc... to all bend to your will requires a massive GDP united CPC that no African country can match. FTFY.

2
0

The power JavaScript: 'Gandalf of JS' Wirfs-Brock on ECMAscript 2017

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
Coat

I love

standards and I am happy that there are so many to choose from.

3
0

Has science gone too far, part 97: Boffins craft code to find protesters on social networks, rate them on their violence

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge

Hm.

He suggested protest organizers might use this sort of technology to watch for emerging violence in order to defuse tensions, because violent movements tend to receive less support than non-violent ones.

We showed Omdat Mijn Fiets Daar Stond (Because my bike was parked there) until the box "The Amsterdam Police force used excessive violence against innocent bystanders" was ticked.

3
1

Programming in the Middle Ages: Docker makes a lovely pair of trousers

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
Facepalm

Re: Black is Black

And red text on a blue background. Are these people crazy?

7
0

Red panic: Best Buy yanks Kaspersky antivirus from shelves

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge

@Amos1

"Go back to pen pencil and paper no matter where you live." FTFY. BTW Russians love to write with pencil because it can always be erased with a rubber (and keeps working at -45 °C).

15
0

Fruit flies' brains at work: Decision-making? They use their eyes

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
Angel

Re: How?

Do these fruit flies have a better fate than butterflies that are by the state of the art killed in a jar with potassiumcyanide and preserved for eternity by pushing a pin through their thorax? I hope the trained fruit flies are cared for until a ripe old age, just like chimps that were used for biological experiments.

0
0

Forget trigonometry, 'cos Babylonians did it better 3,700 years ago – by counting in base 60!

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
Meh

Re: Interesting factoid not in the article

Indiana Jones was based on the "archeologist" Langdon Warner (1881-1955) who stole manuscripts and Buddha's from the Dunhuang caves in China for the Harvard University Fogg Art Museum in the early 20th C.

1
0

Don't throw away those eclipse glasses! Send 'em to South America

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

Re: GLASSES ... GLASSES ... We Don't Need No Steenking __GLASSES__!

Even better than a pinhole is using (half a) binocular to project an image of the Sun. Binoculars with a small opening are ideal. You can use photographic neutral density filters in front to prevent overheating. Put a white screen at some distance behind the binocular, focus and hey presto a nice large image of the Sun. If you are lucky (or wait 5 years) you can see the sunspots. Historically this was the way they were first discovered around 1618 by Christoph Scheiner.

Never look at the Sun through binoculars! Unless you like hospital food.

1
1

What weighs 800kg and runs Windows XP? How to buy an ATM for fun and profit

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
Holmes

First gas, now TNT to open ATMs

Just saying

Dutch criminals for years used gas explosions to lay their hand on the contents of ATMs. Now these are better protected, they are starting to use TNT and other high-explosives. Articles in Dutch, the photos speak for themselves.

https://www.nrc.nl/nieuws/2017/07/20/eerst-gas-toen-tnt-politie-en-plofkrakers-spelen-kat-en-muis-12139639-a1567270 Police and criminals play cat(!) and mouse.

https://nos.nl/artikel/2162190-plofkraken-met-pentriet-tnt-of-een-zelfgemaakte-bom.html

0
0

Web-enabled vibrator class action put to bed

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
Unhappy

The toy had two settings

normal and exhibitionist. Unfortunately the default was ....

0
0

US prosecutors demand data to unmask every visitor to anti-Trump protest website

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
Mushroom

Re: Ooops

Off to the reeducation centre to be sprayed orange and made to study The Art of the Deal and force-fed a double portion of vanilla ice cream with chocolate cream pie through the nose!!

0
0

Blighty’s beloved Big Ben bell ends, may break Brexit bargain

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge

No, no, no!

Re: "Downing Street this afternoon confirmed the 24-month deadline for reaching a Brexit deal will expire 'when Big Ben bongs midnight' on the night of March 29-30, 2019."

This must be surely be midnight Paris (Brussels?) time. Still time enough to negotiate about that ....

4
0

Firmware update blunder bricks hundreds of home 'smart' locks

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
WTF?

Hm,

Having seen how easy it is to pick a lock, there is hardly a problem.

3
0

While USA is distracted by its President's antics, China is busy breaking another fusion record

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
Happy

Re: It may have competition

It has competition, but not from brilliantlightpower and their ilks who do not know their QM.

3
0

Dead serious: How to haunt people after you've gone... using your smartphone

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: Snopes: Hot Down Here

Two soccerfans ask themselves whether soccer is played in heaven. They make the promise that whoever goes first tries to phone home. One of them dies and his friends phone rings: "I have good news and bad news. Yes they play soccer in heaven. You are in the team playing next Friday".

1
0

PC rebooted every time user flushed the toilet

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

No PC involved

There is an interesting story about an old US prison where the inmates protested against their appalling conditions by flushing all toilets in the multistory building topdown on cue of the chimes of a local church which they all could hear. The resulting damage to the sewage system forced the authorities to move all prisoners to a better location.

2
0

Canadian sniper makes kill shot at distance of 3.5 KILOMETRES

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge

I have no experience

as a sniper or otherwise. But I took the trouble to buy and read Einführung in de Lehre vom Schuss by Dr. Karl Gey and Dr. Horst Teichmann, Leipzig & Berlin, 1941. Printed in Germany.

Other publications from the same publisher Physikalische Denkaufgaben aus der Welt des Soldaten. Any takers?

2
0

Darkness to fall over North America from a total solar eclipse

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
Coat

To add insult to injury, observations have shown that the winds also slacken during a solar eclipse.

Mine is the one with an UPS in the left and right pocket.

4
0

Elon Musk reveals Mars colony rocket capable of bringing pizza joints to the red planet

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge

Re: Hmmmn.. pizza!

First send a lot of stale pizza to Mars, then a bunch of German cockroaches. At least they are radiation hardened, less that 1m high and they don't mind if their food is stale.

1
2

Oops! Facebook outed its antiterror cops whilst they banned admins

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
WTF?

Re: That's the automatic warning system...

In the USSR of the Stalinist era the bereaved widow would automatically get a bill for the bullet with which her husband was executed. No advertisement involved.

0
0

Facebook tried teaching bots art of negotiation – so the AI learned to lie

harmjschoonhoven
Bronze badge
Go

AI take this:

For centuries the Dutch and German law of inheritance used the rule of Divide or Choose where one party whould divide an estate in "equal" parts and let the other party choose one of the parts. So knowledge of preferences gathered over decennia was essential, rather than negotiations during bargaining.

0
0

Page:

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2018