Re: Florida Man
You monkeys should never have come down from the trees. In fact the trees were a bad idea ....
And this from a race who can't even get the hang of poetry? "foonting turlingdromes" indeed!!!
231 posts • joined 3 Sep 2012
You monkeys should never have come down from the trees. In fact the trees were a bad idea ....
And this from a race who can't even get the hang of poetry? "foonting turlingdromes" indeed!!!
I agree a 42 icon would be idea but until they do there is always this ========>
Well as a race that crawled out of the primordial mud and once evolution saw you and gave up on you, I guess you are an expert on the subject? :D
I was going to say much the same. I work within the NHS and I know they buy nice new shiny toys with Win 10 on them and then go and fuck them up by putting the same Win7 image they have been using since year dot!
Commas, in, comments, should, not, be, missed,
But, once, in, a, while, what, happens, is, this,
A, quick, remark, is, all, that, is, needed,
Grammar, and, punctuation, tends, not, to, be, heeded,
Forgive, me, my, sins, I'll, try, not, to, repeat,
I, feel, the, shame, right, down, to, my, feet
But, just, in, case, it, happens, again,
Here, are, a, few, spare, you, can, just, slip, them, in,
"20-20 hindsight is no substitute for a glimpse into the future."
I find the best solution for this is a pair of beer glasses especially on a Friday afternoon.
Here's one to start you off.
Cool me as well!!
Many years ago I came across a box full of 1st Ed's by the Irish author Lord Dunsany* at a book fair. Each one was just a few pounds each, not sure of the exact price but £2-£5 range. I hummed and hared but eventually moved on, but taking a card from the stall holder.
A few weeks latter regretting that I did not buy them I called him up and brought the whole box for something like £15 or so including postage.
On arrival I saw that each one had a book plate in the inside cover for a "Frances Perry" and hand written date that matched the publication dates and also some also had a second date for the late 70's in the same hand.
Intrigued I did some research and found out that there was a Frances Perry** who was a member of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn and that she was also an associate of Aleister Crowley.
I have no way of knowing if my books belonged to the same Frances Perry but as Dunsany's works are mainly fantasy of an esoteric nature it would fit.
Dunsany 1st Ed's now sell for £90-£150 and with the possible connections to Crowley and the Golden Dawn maybe even more if I could prove the provenance.
I still have them all and would never sell them.
** A Google search for that name now finds information for "Frances Mary Perry MBE VMH (19 February 1907 – 11 October 1993) was a gardener, administrator, writer and broadcaster." I'd assume a different Frances Perry but her birth date would fit.
"However, you do need to have the basics down, he said. If a staffer is trying to tell you a two-day job could take a month, you need to have the tech chops to tell them they are bullshitting."
BOFH meet your New Manager.
New Manager, meet the BOFH
*stands back to watch the show*
"Presumably this involves continual examination of what sites/services are being used so they know which traffic to exclude from the total?"
Of course, remember the networks mantra "All your data iz belong to uz"
Carry on Commander!!
I was going to cite Westworld as well (have an upvote for doing so) but felt that Humans dealt with the subject in a more personal way and looking at the impact it had on a family unit as well as the robot/android/sexbot.
I feel the Westworld was more "what happens in Westworld stays in Westworld" though we know that it did obviously have knockon effects outside as well.
On a slightly more serious note, if you've not yet seen the Channel 4 drama "Humans" I would strongly recommend it, this is exactly one of the issues it deals with.
If we take the definition of a robot as "Your plastic pal who's fun to be with"* then surely 90%+ of woman in the western world have a sexbot already tucked away discretely in a bedside draw or handbag?
Can't see what the fuss is all about personally.
*The marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation defines a robot as "Your Plastic Pal Who's Fun To Be With."
I though the answer would be Two Thirty?
Oh wait a parsec that's when he goes to the dentist!
As I read down and saw this "Hat-tip to Douglas from Cambridge for spotting this article" I immediately thought of the late great Douglas Adams.
Adams was born in Cambridge in March 1952 and he is quoted as saying that DNA (his middle name was Noël) was in the city nine months before Francis Crick and James Watson discovered its double-helix structure.
I'd like to think that this story would make him smile, firstly for the terrible grammar of ""Protons are lighter than thought" headline and secondly at the idea that a thought has some kind of mass.
Well at least he can now screw his clients and that's what they expect and want!!
How about this?
"How to Charge your Phone" by I.P. Daily
Mines the one with the damp pocket!!
You were on one of my courses then???
Do Android users dream of Electric Sheeple?
"But even using the same make and model equipment in the same gym doesn't guarantee the same results if, for example, one has been greased more recently than the other."
Indeed, if one has been greased more recently it can make a difference! But also one must remember to shower one's self after or else one will ruin one's new suite when going to the club after the gym.
"At least Oracle's transparent moonshine won't kill people; let's be grateful for that."
I'd have to respectively disagree with that point. Within the Health Services (talking NHS in particular here) there are a number of Oracle databases in use that have potentially life threatening consequences if not accessible.
Not sure how that may tie into their 'cloud' strategy but I'd not like to have to put it to the test to find out!
Thanks for the replys and thumbs up!
I've done a little research on Google (about 5 minutes worth!) and its come up with this:
All-Time Best Error Message
When a Texas Instruments 990 minicomputer was on the verge of crashing, the error message read: "SHUT 'ER DOWN, CLANCY, SHE'S PUMPING MUD!"
There are a few other pages that discuss this and seem to agree with this as well but I'll not include them all but one other that is interesting re: Star Trek is here:
Now to do some real work!!
Many years ago i wrote a little DOS program (we'd call it an app these days). It was only for internal use at the org i was working at.
I had seen this posted on a forum somewhere as an obscure and apocryphal error message "CLOSE 'EM DOWN, CLANCY. SHE'S A PUMPIN' WATER"' with some debate about its authenticity.
I liked it so much I used it as the heading for my error messages along the lines of "CLOSE 'EM DOWN, CLANCY. SHE'S A PUMPIN' WATER: <error message here.>" for two reasons:
1) because it amused me
2) so it was a genuine error message
Every now and then I'll throw it in some code that only I'll see... because I'm a mature adult !!
The earth has to be flat or what else is the Turtle going to do??!!!!
I'm guessing the British Cthulhu would be Sir Walter R'lyeh?
Well if it were released on the 14th Feb it could be a Cupid Stunt Kite?
With all due respect to the late great Kenny Everett
For our 'merican cousins:
For me it would be the Psion Series 5 would love me a working one of those again.
Just found this place http://www.psionex.co.uk not sure how current it is but its temping!
I must still be old fashioned! I still use and external webcam on my desktop PC and just tend to keep my lint free spectacle cleaning cloth hung over it when not in use or if I'm feeling in a particular tin foil hat mode I'll just unplug it.
And yes I know that would not work for a laptop with a built in cam, but I'd just use a bit of tape!!
@Huw D - brilliant, simply brilliant!
Maybe it could be a new El Reg unit of measurement, a Tipperary of denseness/stupidity where 1 unit = 37.2 Tipperians?
I expect a few down votes, but for the record I'm of Irish descent!!!
"Incidentally, it may have been my imagination but I could have sworn the last time I saw a PC in hospital a few weeks back it was running XP."
There is a possibility it could have been some form of XP but most places have now 'upgraded' to Windows 7, but.. very often its configured to look like XP and its so locked down there's no way to change it!!
I have two tales of woe to add to the collection here!
Many years ago I used to train people new to IT, someone has mentioned Olivetti 386's, those were the PC's I used to train people with at the time. There was one lady, Ginny. Every time she sat down at any computer it would go totally nuts, the poor woman was driven to distraction and being new to PC's she assumed it was her fault and she would never get the hang of using them.
After a few weeks of this we sat down to talk about what she wanted to do next. As part of our talk she told me that she had been previously 'diagnosed' as having, or creating, a high level of static charge.
So I got her to touch a radiator and sat her down at a PC and away she went, from that point on as long as she earthed herself before hand she had no further problems.
This one is more recent.
In my current role I was moved to a new desk with a new PC. So I packed up all my stuff and moved to my new deck and PC. Set up all my stuff at the new desk, all good so far.
Over the next few days I noticed my typing seemed to be getting worse more spelling mistake than usual passwords not working etc. etc.
I'm a competent touch typist and although we all make mistake at times this was getting silly. So I slowed down to see what was going on and that's when I noticed that certain keys when pressed would mistype ie I'd type a 'p' and get an 'h' and so on. Not every key just some of them.
So anyway I dug out a new keyboard plugged it into its USB port.. Exactly the same issue, I tired different empty USB ports, still no joy.
As a last resort I unplugged a USB powered Plasma Ball toy, a Christmas gift from my girl friend, and plugged the keyboard in there. JOY it worked!!!
Plugged the toy in to another port, problem came back, it was now obvious what the problem was.
Strange thing was it had worked perfectly on my old PC and works perfectly on my home PC when tried there as well. But obviously on my new work PC it must have been causing some kind of interference on the USB bus.
OK, neither one is IT magic, although Ginny thought so in her case.
First let me say I work in medical research governance for a large NHS University Hospital, and am based in a University.
I think I can see part of the problem here: "enrolled in a March 2015 sports science experiment on the effects of caffeine on exercise.". Specifically the "sports science experiment".
As the participants were probably recruited directly from the student population I would assume that being a university the study would have been through an internal university approval process involving some kind of university Research Ethics Committee (REC) but probably no external scrutiny and possibly without input from a pharmacist or a medically qualified person.
Had the study been run under a medical school and had NHS involvement (which happens a lot) then it would have been a whole different thing.
This study would have needed approval by the Health Research Authority, an NHS REC, which would have been made up of medically qualified people. Also as the caffeine/orange juice mixture would be defined as a Investigational Medicinal Product (IMP), basically a drug, so the study would have also required approval from The Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency (MHRA) as well.
The IMP would have had to been made by a qualified pharmacist working in a pharmacy that had a licence to manufacture the IMP with very strict SOP's in place as to how the IMP is made, stored, distributed, used and destroyed if not used.
I just find it mindbogglingly unbelievable that this study would have been allowed to be conducted under the circumstances it seems to have been run!
PS To put on my pedants hat "...were mistakenly given as much caffeine as what's in 300 standard cups of coffee." seems like the author studied at the Ernest Wise School of English!
PPS The term IMP always makes me think of the great Terry Pratchett and the various Discword devices that have actual imp's inside them, like Twoflowers camera or Sam Vimes organiser. So every time I read a research protocol and read about what's going to be done to/with the IMP it always brings a smile to my face.
So basically just because someone has made a call for a large number of people to visit the site anyone who does so, if its in response to that call or not, could be potentially breaking the law?
Or to put it another way anyone visiting Whitehouse.gov on the day of the inauguration could be prosecuted if identified.
REST IN PEACE SIR PTERRY
"I mean, would you like the same level of security used for launching nuclear missiles to be applied to, say, launching your car...?"
So basically you are asking if I'd like Donald "The Duck" Trump to have the codes to start my car? That would be a resounding NO.
I'd not turst him with my car let alone ..... Wait, dear baby Jesus Christ, God save us all!!
"Now if they can wire directly into your brain so you have a push button orgasm"
I believe we (blokes) already do, its called the Prostrate, only problem is its a little tricky to get to!!
"Plusnet Mobile: unlimited calls and 4GB of 4G data for £10 a month"
Well if you pay peanuts you should expect monkeys!!
"Ahh, the good old days when chargers were real chargers."
And real men were real men..
And sheep were afraid...
"So their next wearable model would be the titbit?"
Or indeed a fit-tit?
Upvoted, and El Reg should make him a gold badge anyway!!
Come on guys do the right thing! If anyone deserves it, it's Lester!!
"if I have a frontdoor made of cardboard (not the case) and somebody kicks it and nicks my stuff, it is the burglar who is responsible. Not the victim."
How about the builder who installed said cardboard door, which was then signed off by the project manager both of them telling you, the customer, "its cheap so you save money but its as safe as houses"? Or you happily accepting the cardboard door without further questioning?
Yes the hacker deserves a slap on the wrist but its TalkTalk who really are responsible for for not putting proper security in place.
I think its amazing that Douglas Adams saw this as a problem back in the late 70/early 80's and made comments about it in his work, have an up vote.
First have a pint :)
That's a possibility. My Dad is in his 70's and lives in Norwich city center and absolutely hates anything to do with computers/internet and refuses to use anything but a simple flip phone so I think for some of the older generation its a bit of a blind spot.
I think the point I was trying to make is that if you make a lifestyle choice to live in the country you have to accept what that actually means.
If you choose to run a business from a rural location where it is not necessary to be located there then you need look at these issues before you settle on a particular location. If however you are in the situation your business requires you to be a specific location (farmer, boat builder on the Broads) then it very much sucks but unfortunately for now you kind of have to factor that in to your current business plan as a threat and then figure out how you are going to address that threat.
I myself used to be a freelance IT consultant working around Norfolk and Norwich so know the challenges to small rural businesses.
I live in a small market town just outside of Norwich (10 minutes walk and I'm in the country side) and I nominally have a 50 Mbs connection though I find I normally run at about 52-54. Admittedly I don't live in an isolated "large country house".
I know the more isolated rural areas can be horrible for broadband. But I think people who choose to live there as a lifestyle choice should see this as way to drop out of the (digital) rat race,
One thing I find amusing is people who chose to move to rural locations and then complain about things like the noise from animals and church bells and complain about the 'agricultural' smell we get at certain times of year, I think slow broadband in rural areas is on par with that But I know and accept that people who run rural businesses find the situation very frustrating.
For me broadband is on par with utilities like electric/gas/water etc. Essential, but not the same as having savings, car, mobile etc.
It is most gratifying that your enthusiasm for our planet continues unabated. And so we would like to assure you that the guided missiles currently converging with your ship are part of a special service we extend to all of our most enthusiastic clients… And the fully armed nuclear warheads are, of course, merely a courtesy detail. We look forward to your custom in future lives. Thank you.
Just a couple of points to make from different conversations:
Personally I like to eat a nice pussy every now and then!
RE VEGANS AND TRACE AMOUNTS OF TALLOW
I would expect a lot of vegans are also followers of homeopathy (the two do seem to happen quite often hand in hand) so probably the smaller the amount the trace element (in this case tallow) the stronger the effect of that trace element. So have we just invented the homeopathic fiver?
I would up vote that remark but I can't be arsed with that
"I fail to see how the geometry works unless you find the headphone jack to be of sufficient diamet.... oh, you said flAshlight. Nevermind."
Ahh but I'm sure that somewhere out there, there is smartphone controlled device of sufficient diameter to encompass your every need!
* Pro tip: choose or make up an obscure department that no-one ever has any business with. Statistics or internal auditing is good.
Wow that exactly what I was going to say and what I actually do! I actually am a 'civil servant' now and work in an obscure department (R&D and Innovation) and my job does include an element of statistical analysis and auditing data so I normally waffle on about this aspect of my job (ignoring anything interesting or useful) until people move away.
I learnt along time ago to never tell people I was an IT Consultant or else I ended up being expected to solve every bodies computer issues.
One trick I used to use when self employed was to keep business cards on me all the time and when anyone asked me an IT question in a social situation I'd whip out a card write a ridiculous hourly rate on the back and told them to call me in the morning.
This led of course to one of two situations, I never heard from them again or they called me and had to pay a slightly silly amount of money for help/advice. I was equally happy with either outcome.
Adds a whole new meaning to the opening line "To boldly go where no man has gone before!"
Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2017