Very few computers can run on a cheese sandwich.
Or a really hot cup of fresh tea
253 posts • joined 3 Sep 2012
Or a really hot cup of fresh tea
Look. I-- I'd had a lovely supper, and all I said to my wife was, 'That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah.'
I live 8 miles south of Norwich in a small market town and get 53Mbs, mind you I can look out of my back bedroom window and and can see the local exchange (it i were to toss a stone I could probably hit it).
Maybe I'm lucky but I'm quite happy as you can guess
An excellent film and many think was the inspiration for the 'Joker' from Batman
Have fun kiddies
Fuck Spinal Tap and their puny 11, mine goes up to 12!
For anyone interested in the etymology and use of the word this is a good starting point:
Go tell that to the mice! After all they paid for it.
I could just imagine this as a conversation from "Yes Minister" between Sir Humphrey and Jim Hacker:
SH: So Minister there are two outcomes to this:
1. The system is completed on time and is a success, the police now have everyone's face print and know where you have been and where you go.
2. The system is a monumental cock up that over runs time and budget till someone decides to just sack it off.
JH: Yes but which one do we expect it to be?
SH: Both, Minister.
JH: Both?! How can it be both?
SH: Well Minister, you see the Government has a track record of not doing well in completing I.T. projects.
JH: Yes I know. So the likely outcome is that the project will not work and be quietly killed off and the police will complain that they cannot do their job correctly?
SH: No Minister
JH: (looking puzzled) So the project will be a success and personal freedoms will be reduced?
SH: No Minister
JH: So what will it be?
SH: Well Minister, the project will be completed, the IT and the technology will work perfectly. But just before the project goes live the Government Accountability Office will question the costing and value of the project and recommends the project shuts down, which of course the Government will take on board and then order a formal review of the project.
In the meantime the Police will have had access to the system and be testing it, oh lets say for the next 10 years, while the review is carried out. By which time the technology will need to be updated anyway.
JH: Ah so the police get what they want, and the public are none the wiser and carry on with life as normal forgetting about the whole issue.
SH: Yes, Minister.
The rhyme i seem to remember from being a kid is:
A bean, a bean, a bean and a half and a bean and a half again.
No, No, NOT the comfy sofa!!
There corrected that for you!!
I must say this was an excellent article about witchcraft in a post modernist medieval Europe, especially the bits about homosexual monks and the Malleus Maleficarum's pivitol role in the Spanish Inquisition.
El Reg must cover this subject in more detail.
Though I fail to see the IT connection.
Err. is this the right article?
So we have a Kat writing and article about rats!
Do the rats get a right to reply? Ya know unbiased reporting .. yada yada yada and all that
Enquiring minds need to know!
Icon: No rat catcher icon so that was the closest!
"Or maybe they only made one"
Yes they will make only one. And then they'll send it back and forth through time and space, they'll send it across all dimensions to wherever one is sold so that we can all try it.
With acknowledgement to one Mr D Adams who was Mostly Harmless by all accounts.
I read Larry's part as Jack Nicholson a la "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" and then Eric's part as Jack Nicholson a al the Joker!
Much more scary!!
Lets remember this:
‘I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it,’ - Evelyn Beatrice Hall (Summarising and ideal expressed by Voltaire, pedants see here http://quoteinvestigator.com/2015/06/01/defend-say/).
We may or may not agree with the document that was 'leaked' but to understand an issue you need look at it from all sides (critical thinking) so you can make an informed choice.
UMM, I'm convinced he's been dead for the last 10 years and its only the embalming fluid that keeps him going!!!
You probably intended to share a story about that one time someone figured the terminator on the end of the cable was entirely redundant and removed / forgot to reinstall it...
That happend so many times that I used to carry spares in my pocket and would always be the first thing I'd check if there were problems!!
To late to edit the original post, but I have just remembered the amazement and excitement of getting Doom to run over the network and running around the game with colleagues shooting demons and each other of course.
Showing my age there!!
Lets try to remember what Windows for Workgroups was actually like!
Some of the first networks I set up (this would have been 1992/93) were using Windows for Workgroups 3.1 and later 3.11, looking back at it now through modern eyes it was a fucking terrible system, but at the time it seemed wonderful.
Remember that MSDOS was still the operating system and Win for Workgroups was really just a program on top of that, it was not till Win95 that Windows became the OS.
This allowed users to share their resources and to request those of others without a centralised authentication server and used the SMB protocol over NetBIOS, Security? What was that?
The networks I set up at the time were quite small and mostly each network was contained within one room (smallish open plan offices) and each office having its own self contained network, the main purpose being to share the expensive £2,000+ B/W laser printers, one in each office space. They did not connect to the Internet in any way shape or form.
They were based on a Token Ring Network system using BNC cabling (basically TV areal cable) to link the PCs in the office together. As I recall we later added some CAT5 cabling between the rooms with switch boxes that had a BNC connector to connect them to the Token Ring in that room. This was to allow for the sharing of a VERY expensive colour laser printer.
Not really sure what my point is here but lets remember back then it was different world with different rules.
To get in my obligatory DNA quote:
"“In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.”"
You monkeys should never have come down from the trees. In fact the trees were a bad idea ....
And this from a race who can't even get the hang of poetry? "foonting turlingdromes" indeed!!!
I agree a 42 icon would be idea but until they do there is always this ========>
Well as a race that crawled out of the primordial mud and once evolution saw you and gave up on you, I guess you are an expert on the subject? :D
I was going to say much the same. I work within the NHS and I know they buy nice new shiny toys with Win 10 on them and then go and fuck them up by putting the same Win7 image they have been using since year dot!
Commas, in, comments, should, not, be, missed,
But, once, in, a, while, what, happens, is, this,
A, quick, remark, is, all, that, is, needed,
Grammar, and, punctuation, tends, not, to, be, heeded,
Forgive, me, my, sins, I'll, try, not, to, repeat,
I, feel, the, shame, right, down, to, my, feet
But, just, in, case, it, happens, again,
Here, are, a, few, spare, you, can, just, slip, them, in,
"20-20 hindsight is no substitute for a glimpse into the future."
I find the best solution for this is a pair of beer glasses especially on a Friday afternoon.
Here's one to start you off.
Cool me as well!!
Many years ago I came across a box full of 1st Ed's by the Irish author Lord Dunsany* at a book fair. Each one was just a few pounds each, not sure of the exact price but £2-£5 range. I hummed and hared but eventually moved on, but taking a card from the stall holder.
A few weeks latter regretting that I did not buy them I called him up and brought the whole box for something like £15 or so including postage.
On arrival I saw that each one had a book plate in the inside cover for a "Frances Perry" and hand written date that matched the publication dates and also some also had a second date for the late 70's in the same hand.
Intrigued I did some research and found out that there was a Frances Perry** who was a member of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn and that she was also an associate of Aleister Crowley.
I have no way of knowing if my books belonged to the same Frances Perry but as Dunsany's works are mainly fantasy of an esoteric nature it would fit.
Dunsany 1st Ed's now sell for £90-£150 and with the possible connections to Crowley and the Golden Dawn maybe even more if I could prove the provenance.
I still have them all and would never sell them.
** A Google search for that name now finds information for "Frances Mary Perry MBE VMH (19 February 1907 – 11 October 1993) was a gardener, administrator, writer and broadcaster." I'd assume a different Frances Perry but her birth date would fit.
"However, you do need to have the basics down, he said. If a staffer is trying to tell you a two-day job could take a month, you need to have the tech chops to tell them they are bullshitting."
BOFH meet your New Manager.
New Manager, meet the BOFH
*stands back to watch the show*
"Presumably this involves continual examination of what sites/services are being used so they know which traffic to exclude from the total?"
Of course, remember the networks mantra "All your data iz belong to uz"
Carry on Commander!!
I was going to cite Westworld as well (have an upvote for doing so) but felt that Humans dealt with the subject in a more personal way and looking at the impact it had on a family unit as well as the robot/android/sexbot.
I feel the Westworld was more "what happens in Westworld stays in Westworld" though we know that it did obviously have knockon effects outside as well.
On a slightly more serious note, if you've not yet seen the Channel 4 drama "Humans" I would strongly recommend it, this is exactly one of the issues it deals with.
If we take the definition of a robot as "Your plastic pal who's fun to be with"* then surely 90%+ of woman in the western world have a sexbot already tucked away discretely in a bedside draw or handbag?
Can't see what the fuss is all about personally.
*The marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation defines a robot as "Your Plastic Pal Who's Fun To Be With."
I though the answer would be Two Thirty?
Oh wait a parsec that's when he goes to the dentist!
As I read down and saw this "Hat-tip to Douglas from Cambridge for spotting this article" I immediately thought of the late great Douglas Adams.
Adams was born in Cambridge in March 1952 and he is quoted as saying that DNA (his middle name was Noël) was in the city nine months before Francis Crick and James Watson discovered its double-helix structure.
I'd like to think that this story would make him smile, firstly for the terrible grammar of ""Protons are lighter than thought" headline and secondly at the idea that a thought has some kind of mass.
Well at least he can now screw his clients and that's what they expect and want!!
How about this?
"How to Charge your Phone" by I.P. Daily
Mines the one with the damp pocket!!
You were on one of my courses then???
Do Android users dream of Electric Sheeple?
"But even using the same make and model equipment in the same gym doesn't guarantee the same results if, for example, one has been greased more recently than the other."
Indeed, if one has been greased more recently it can make a difference! But also one must remember to shower one's self after or else one will ruin one's new suite when going to the club after the gym.
"At least Oracle's transparent moonshine won't kill people; let's be grateful for that."
I'd have to respectively disagree with that point. Within the Health Services (talking NHS in particular here) there are a number of Oracle databases in use that have potentially life threatening consequences if not accessible.
Not sure how that may tie into their 'cloud' strategy but I'd not like to have to put it to the test to find out!
Thanks for the replys and thumbs up!
I've done a little research on Google (about 5 minutes worth!) and its come up with this:
All-Time Best Error Message
When a Texas Instruments 990 minicomputer was on the verge of crashing, the error message read: "SHUT 'ER DOWN, CLANCY, SHE'S PUMPING MUD!"
There are a few other pages that discuss this and seem to agree with this as well but I'll not include them all but one other that is interesting re: Star Trek is here:
Now to do some real work!!
Many years ago i wrote a little DOS program (we'd call it an app these days). It was only for internal use at the org i was working at.
I had seen this posted on a forum somewhere as an obscure and apocryphal error message "CLOSE 'EM DOWN, CLANCY. SHE'S A PUMPIN' WATER"' with some debate about its authenticity.
I liked it so much I used it as the heading for my error messages along the lines of "CLOSE 'EM DOWN, CLANCY. SHE'S A PUMPIN' WATER: <error message here.>" for two reasons:
1) because it amused me
2) so it was a genuine error message
Every now and then I'll throw it in some code that only I'll see... because I'm a mature adult !!
The earth has to be flat or what else is the Turtle going to do??!!!!
I'm guessing the British Cthulhu would be Sir Walter R'lyeh?
Well if it were released on the 14th Feb it could be a Cupid Stunt Kite?
With all due respect to the late great Kenny Everett
For our 'merican cousins:
For me it would be the Psion Series 5 would love me a working one of those again.
Just found this place http://www.psionex.co.uk not sure how current it is but its temping!
I must still be old fashioned! I still use and external webcam on my desktop PC and just tend to keep my lint free spectacle cleaning cloth hung over it when not in use or if I'm feeling in a particular tin foil hat mode I'll just unplug it.
And yes I know that would not work for a laptop with a built in cam, but I'd just use a bit of tape!!
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