* Posts by magickmark

283 posts • joined 3 Sep 2012


Ever feel like all your prayers go unheard? The Catholic Church has an app for that


Gotta have faith

One of the best definitions of faith that I have ever seen is:

"Choosing to believe in that which you know cannot be true"

Or in the words of the late great DNA:

"I refuse to prove that I exist,'" says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."

Most munificent Apple killed itself with kindness. Oh. Really?


My tuppence worth

And (allegedly) factory fitted spyware sending your data right back to china.gov central

Here's 2018 in a nutshell for you... Russian super robot turns out to be man in robot suit


Re: Here I am ...

And the diodes all down my left side!!! I think I'll just sit in a corner and rust.


Re: good margin

The problem with PR can be, small extremist parties can hold a lot of power disproportional to their actual size. As an example look at Germany in the 1930's.

PR allowed the Nazi party to gain a toe hold in Government, the rest is history!

COPPA load of that AOL! $5m fine for targeting kids with ads

Black Helicopters

A real punishment or not?

It would be interesting to know how much income these 'billions' of ads generated and what percentage of that income the fine accounted for.

Was it a genuine loss of profit for the offender or just an acceptable 'operating cost'!

Consultant misreads advice, ends up on a 200km journey to the Exchange expert


Re: Exam question.

You beat me to it!!

I had exactly the same paper on a course many years ago when I were a lad and new to IT/Training/Support.

Hate to say it but I was the only person in the class of about 10 or so who did actually read it all the way through.

The other fun exercise we did was trying to tell someone how to strike a match from a closed box on a table between us with the person striking the match only doing exactly what you told them. And of course the instructor on the course had ensured that every box was upside down!!

Creepy or super creepy? That is the question Mozilla's throwing at IoT Christmas pressies

Big Brother

Rotate the Pod Door, HAL

I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave

Sorry friends, I'm afraid I just can't quite afford the Bitcoin to stop that vid from leaking everywhere

Paris Hilton

#Metoo ... please??

Paris has her eye on your ... ===================>

Damn I've never received one of these, I seem to miss out on all the fun!!!

A bit of Derek & Clive - NSFW!!


Now I need to clean up my keyboard and screen..... coffee everywhere!!

Don't get THAT personal, says personalised cards firm Moonpig. Dick pics. They mean dick pics

Paris Hilton

"But it's all done in the best possible taste" - Cupid Stunt aka Kenny Everett

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Contractors slam UK taxman's 'aggressive' IR35 tax reforms

Big Brother

daja vu

I had something like this happen to me about 11 years ago now.

I was working as a self employed contractor with a number of clients (one of them being my accountant), paying my taxes, NI, etc.

One of my clients was a local council, and I worked for them 2 to 3 days a week depending on what work needed to be done. No benefits at all (holidays, sick pay etc) but the tax man deemed I was employed by them so they had to start taxing me at source.

In the meantime I was still being assessed as a self employed contractor and the income from that particular source was still included in the assessment. So essentially I was paying tax twice for the same income!

My accountant did appeal it for me (and being a client/friend did not charge me to do so) but they maintained they were in the right.

So it got to the point where I just had to stop working freelance as I just could not afford to carry on.

So took a 'proper' job in the public sector and have been here ever since!

Took me quite a few years to get myself financially stable again as well, the fuckers.

Redis does a Python, crushes 'offensive' master, slave code terms


Re: They should ask Torvalds to rename git.


"We should instead use "slide in" and "slide out"."

I find the above offensive due to the sexual connotations and the implied inference of male dominance over a female partner!!

Having said that I'm fucked as to what we would call it but then that's not my problem!!!

Do not adjust your set, er, browser: This is our new page-one design

Big Brother


I for one welcome my white page space overlord!

Scam alert: No, hackers don't have webcam vids of you enjoying p0rno. Don't give them any $$s


Re: Webcam?

Tin foil helmet sounds painful !!

No big deal... Kremlin hackers 'jumped air-gapped networks' to pwn US power utilities


Re: More detail please

Ok try this:

Infect vendors networks

Conntect Laptop to network

Laptop infected

Take laptop on service call to air gaped network & plugin

Air gaped network infected

Malware delivers payload/slurps info

Passed info back to laptop

Take laptop back to vendor and plug into network

Data sent home


IBM fired me because I'm not a millennial, says axed cloud sales star in age discrim court row


Re: Generations...

I was born 31 Dec 1963 as the New Year bells were starting to ring (yes really!!) so I'm either the last of the Boomers or the first of the Gen X or maybe some weird Gen X Boomer?

Uh-oh. Boffins say most Android apps can slurp your screen – and you wouldn't even know it


Re: Is it likely



"The researchers plan to investigate third-party libraries on iOS next to see what slurping may be taking place there."

Lets see what they come up with.

GitLab's move off Azure to Google cloud totally unrelated to Microsoft's GitHub acquisition. Yep


Any takers?

I was thinking of creating a new service called "OldGitPornHub" and then putting the back end into the public domain.

BOFH: Their bright orange plumage warns other species, 'Back off! I'm dangerous!'


Re: Hazard creation

That story is in one of Spike Milligan's war biography's, "Adolf Hitler: My part in his down fall"

They had just arrived in Algiers and were stationed in the secret "Camp X" if I recall, and the Latrine Orderly, named as one Gunner Liddle in the books, if I recall correctly, did not have any quick lime so used a mixture of petrol and diesel. Some time later a Sargent Major, attending to his ablutions drops a match down the pit after lighting his pipe and suffers second degree burns on his 'parts'.

A sort of British loss of face. He was our last casualty before we actually went into action. Next time it would be for real. (p. 146)

Foolish foodies duped into thinking Greggs salads are posh nosh


I thought it was Khlav Kalash?

And don't forget the crab juice



Snubbed R Us: Microsoft eschews Vulture Consultants in Playmobil tech research


Re: Thank you

Here's one for Lester


Camels disqualified from Saudi beauty contest for Botox-enhanced pouts


Camel Love?

Sounds like someone is getting the hump?

Mines the one with the bulge in the pocket!

@Tigra 07 - damn beat me to it !!

Pastry in a manger: We're soz, Greggs man said


Re: I ain't Spartacus

All Hail to the One True Doughnut for it truly is of the Divine!!

BlackBerry Motion: The Phone That Won't Die


Re: Motion

Two possible explanations:

Motion because it's genuinely mobile and you can take it away from base without worry.

Motion because the battery life obviously craps on almost everything else.

Third reason:

Blackberry were originally called Research in Motion or RIM for short.

I expects its a mixture of all of the above!

Mm, sacrilicious: Greggs advent calendar features sausage roll in a manger


CTMO Dibbler

I wonder if Mr Claude Maximillian Overton Transpire Dibbler, will have an angle on this?

Christmas ona stick, sausage ina blanket, some meat guaranteed in every item!

Osama Bin Laden had copy of Resident Evil, smut, in compound


Re: RE: AC


My #95Theses of #Digital

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Re: Time

"#42: Time is the most valuable asset in a truly digital world. Use as much of everyone else's as you can."

#42: Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so

There fixed that for you

Robot takes the job of sitting on your arse


Bum de bum bmu

Seems a bit of a bums rush to me!!

BOFH: Do I smell burning toes, I mean burning toast?


Re: the basement deluge control…

And sharks with lasers!!!

Bloodied and broken AFA pioneer Violin picks itself up and tries again



"but that the sales people couldn't explain this to you is why you couldn't see that you could't build something better yourself."

/me reads that again trying to work through the double negatives and wonders why they did not sell anything!!

ARM chip OG Steve Furber: Turing missed the mark on human intelligence

Thumb Up

Very few computers can run on a cheese sandwich.

Or a really hot cup of fresh tea

Man prosecuted for posting a picture of his hobby on Facebook

This post has been deleted by a moderator

I love disruptive computer jargon. It's so very William Burroughs


Re: For further confusion ...

Look. I-- I'd had a lovely supper, and all I said to my wife was, 'That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah.'

You may not have noticed, but 'superfast' broadband is available to 94% of Blighty


Re: Superfast internet speeds from different suppliers?

I live 8 miles south of Norwich in a small market town and get 53Mbs, mind you I can look out of my back bedroom window and and can see the local exchange (it i were to toss a stone I could probably hit it).

Maybe I'm lucky but I'm quite happy as you can guess

Stephen King's scary movie reboot provokes tears from 'legit clowns'


The Man Who Laughs

An excellent film and many think was the inspiration for the 'Joker' from Batman

See here


and here:


Have fun kiddies

15 'could it be aliens?' fast radio bursts observed in one night


Spinal Taps Amps.

Fuck Spinal Tap and their puny 11, mine goes up to 12!

Evidence: http://en.audiofanzine.com/tests_v3/fender/champion600/p1050416.jpg

Judge: You can't call someone a c*nt, but a C∀NT is a cunning stunt


Etymology of cunt

For anyone interested in the etymology and use of the word this is a good starting point:


Comp sci world shock: Bonn boffin proposes P≠NP proof, preps for prestige, plump prize


Re: FredBed

Go tell that to the mice! After all they paid for it.

UK govt steams ahead with £5m facial recog system amid furore over innocents' mugshots

Big Brother

There are two outcomes

I could just imagine this as a conversation from "Yes Minister" between Sir Humphrey and Jim Hacker:

SH: So Minister there are two outcomes to this:

1. The system is completed on time and is a success, the police now have everyone's face print and know where you have been and where you go.

2. The system is a monumental cock up that over runs time and budget till someone decides to just sack it off.

JH: Yes but which one do we expect it to be?

SH: Both, Minister.

JH: Both?! How can it be both?

SH: Well Minister, you see the Government has a track record of not doing well in completing I.T. projects.

JH: Yes I know. So the likely outcome is that the project will not work and be quietly killed off and the police will complain that they cannot do their job correctly?

SH: No Minister

JH: (looking puzzled) So the project will be a success and personal freedoms will be reduced?

SH: No Minister

JH: So what will it be?

SH: Well Minister, the project will be completed, the IT and the technology will work perfectly. But just before the project goes live the Government Accountability Office will question the costing and value of the project and recommends the project shuts down, which of course the Government will take on board and then order a formal review of the project.

In the meantime the Police will have had access to the system and be testing it, oh lets say for the next 10 years, while the review is carried out. By which time the technology will need to be updated anyway.

JH: Ah so the police get what they want, and the public are none the wiser and carry on with life as normal forgetting about the whole issue.

SH: Yes, Minister.

Commentard Quizwall experiment ends with more quizzing than commenting


The rhyme i seem to remember from being a kid is:

A bean, a bean, a bean and a half and a bean and a half again.


Re: Wonderful Stuff - Nobody expects the Spanish insertion.

No, No, NOT the comfy sofa!!


Re: Answers...

Swedish Chef

Shane Meadows

Sean Bean

There corrected that for you!!


Wonderful Stuff

I must say this was an excellent article about witchcraft in a post modernist medieval Europe, especially the bits about homosexual monks and the Malleus Maleficarum's pivitol role in the Spanish Inquisition.

El Reg must cover this subject in more detail.

Though I fail to see the IT connection.

Err. is this the right article?

South London: Rats! The rodents have killed the internet



So we have a Kat writing and article about rats!

Do the rats get a right to reply? Ya know unbiased reporting .. yada yada yada and all that

Enquiring minds need to know!

Icon: No rat catcher icon so that was the closest!

Foot-long £1 sausage roll arrives


Black Pudding!!!!


Thumb Up

Re: You've got to question the quality

"Or maybe they only made one"

Yes they will make only one. And then they'll send it back and forth through time and space, they'll send it across all dimensions to wherever one is sold so that we can all try it.

With acknowledgement to one Mr D Adams who was Mostly Harmless by all accounts.

Our day with Larry Page: Embedded with one of the world's richest men


Jim Carrey playing the part of page?

I read Larry's part as Jack Nicholson a la "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" and then Eric's part as Jack Nicholson a al the Joker!

Much more scary!!

Google diversity memo: Web giant repudiates staffer's screed for 'incorrect assumptions about gender'


I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it

Lets remember this:

‘I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it,’ - Evelyn Beatrice Hall (Summarising and ideal expressed by Voltaire, pedants see here http://quoteinvestigator.com/2015/06/01/defend-say/).

We may or may not agree with the document that was 'leaked' but to understand an issue you need look at it from all sides (critical thinking) so you can make an informed choice.

The Telegraph has killed Prince Philip


Alive and ....?

UMM, I'm convinced he's been dead for the last 10 years and its only the embalming fluid that keeps him going!!!

Sysadmin jeered in staff cafeteria as he climbed ladder to fix PC


Re: Windows for Worgroups

You probably intended to share a story about that one time someone figured the terminator on the end of the cable was entirely redundant and removed / forgot to reinstall it...

That happend so many times that I used to carry spares in my pocket and would always be the first thing I'd check if there were problems!!


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