* Posts by magickmark

253 posts • joined 3 Sep 2012

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ARM chip OG Steve Furber: Turing missed the mark on human intelligence

magickmark
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Very few computers can run on a cheese sandwich.

Or a really hot cup of fresh tea

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Man prosecuted for posting a picture of his hobby on Facebook

This post has been deleted by a moderator

I love disruptive computer jargon. It's so very William Burroughs

magickmark

Re: For further confusion ...

Look. I-- I'd had a lovely supper, and all I said to my wife was, 'That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah.'

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You may not have noticed, but 'superfast' broadband is available to 94% of Blighty

magickmark

Re: Superfast internet speeds from different suppliers?

I live 8 miles south of Norwich in a small market town and get 53Mbs, mind you I can look out of my back bedroom window and and can see the local exchange (it i were to toss a stone I could probably hit it).

Maybe I'm lucky but I'm quite happy as you can guess

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Stephen King's scary movie reboot provokes tears from 'legit clowns'

magickmark
Childcatcher

The Man Who Laughs

An excellent film and many think was the inspiration for the 'Joker' from Batman

See here

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=The+Man+Who+Laughs&newwindow=1&dcr=0&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjspufw95LWAhUHPFAKHUXYDz8QiR4ImgE&biw=1200&bih=816

and here:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Man_Who_Laughs_(1928_film)

Have fun kiddies

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15 'could it be aliens?' fast radio bursts observed in one night

magickmark
Trollface

Spinal Taps Amps.

Fuck Spinal Tap and their puny 11, mine goes up to 12!

Evidence: http://en.audiofanzine.com/tests_v3/fender/champion600/p1050416.jpg

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Judge: You can't call someone a c*nt, but a C∀NT is a cunning stunt

magickmark

Etymology of cunt

For anyone interested in the etymology and use of the word this is a good starting point:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cunt

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Comp sci world shock: Bonn boffin proposes P≠NP proof, preps for prestige, plump prize

magickmark

Re: FredBed

Go tell that to the mice! After all they paid for it.

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UK govt steams ahead with £5m facial recog system amid furore over innocents' mugshots

magickmark
Big Brother

There are two outcomes

I could just imagine this as a conversation from "Yes Minister" between Sir Humphrey and Jim Hacker:

SH: So Minister there are two outcomes to this:

1. The system is completed on time and is a success, the police now have everyone's face print and know where you have been and where you go.

2. The system is a monumental cock up that over runs time and budget till someone decides to just sack it off.

JH: Yes but which one do we expect it to be?

SH: Both, Minister.

JH: Both?! How can it be both?

SH: Well Minister, you see the Government has a track record of not doing well in completing I.T. projects.

JH: Yes I know. So the likely outcome is that the project will not work and be quietly killed off and the police will complain that they cannot do their job correctly?

SH: No Minister

JH: (looking puzzled) So the project will be a success and personal freedoms will be reduced?

SH: No Minister

JH: So what will it be?

SH: Well Minister, the project will be completed, the IT and the technology will work perfectly. But just before the project goes live the Government Accountability Office will question the costing and value of the project and recommends the project shuts down, which of course the Government will take on board and then order a formal review of the project.

In the meantime the Police will have had access to the system and be testing it, oh lets say for the next 10 years, while the review is carried out. By which time the technology will need to be updated anyway.

JH: Ah so the police get what they want, and the public are none the wiser and carry on with life as normal forgetting about the whole issue.

SH: Yes, Minister.

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Commentard Quizwall experiment ends with more quizzing than commenting

magickmark

The rhyme i seem to remember from being a kid is:

A bean, a bean, a bean and a half and a bean and a half again.

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magickmark

Re: Wonderful Stuff - Nobody expects the Spanish insertion.

No, No, NOT the comfy sofa!!

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magickmark
Trollface

Re: Answers...

Swedish Chef

Shane Meadows

Sean Bean

There corrected that for you!!

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magickmark
Trollface

Wonderful Stuff

I must say this was an excellent article about witchcraft in a post modernist medieval Europe, especially the bits about homosexual monks and the Malleus Maleficarum's pivitol role in the Spanish Inquisition.

El Reg must cover this subject in more detail.

Though I fail to see the IT connection.

Err. is this the right article?

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South London: Rats! The rodents have killed the internet

magickmark
Childcatcher

Favoritism

So we have a Kat writing and article about rats!

Do the rats get a right to reply? Ya know unbiased reporting .. yada yada yada and all that

Enquiring minds need to know!

Icon: No rat catcher icon so that was the closest!

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Foot-long £1 sausage roll arrives

magickmark

Black Pudding!!!!

Ecky-Thump!!!!

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magickmark
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Re: You've got to question the quality

"Or maybe they only made one"

Yes they will make only one. And then they'll send it back and forth through time and space, they'll send it across all dimensions to wherever one is sold so that we can all try it.

With acknowledgement to one Mr D Adams who was Mostly Harmless by all accounts.

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Our day with Larry Page: Embedded with one of the world's richest men

magickmark

Jim Carrey playing the part of page?

I read Larry's part as Jack Nicholson a la "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" and then Eric's part as Jack Nicholson a al the Joker!

Much more scary!!

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Google diversity memo: Web giant repudiates staffer's screed for 'incorrect assumptions about gender'

magickmark

I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it

Lets remember this:

‘I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it,’ - Evelyn Beatrice Hall (Summarising and ideal expressed by Voltaire, pedants see here http://quoteinvestigator.com/2015/06/01/defend-say/).

We may or may not agree with the document that was 'leaked' but to understand an issue you need look at it from all sides (critical thinking) so you can make an informed choice.

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The Telegraph has killed Prince Philip

magickmark
Trollface

Alive and ....?

UMM, I'm convinced he's been dead for the last 10 years and its only the embalming fluid that keeps him going!!!

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Sysadmin jeered in staff cafeteria as he climbed ladder to fix PC

magickmark

Re: Windows for Worgroups

You probably intended to share a story about that one time someone figured the terminator on the end of the cable was entirely redundant and removed / forgot to reinstall it...

That happend so many times that I used to carry spares in my pocket and would always be the first thing I'd check if there were problems!!

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magickmark

Re: Windows for Worgroups

To late to edit the original post, but I have just remembered the amazement and excitement of getting Doom to run over the network and running around the game with colleagues shooting demons and each other of course.

Showing my age there!!

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magickmark
Windows

Windows for Worgroups

Lets try to remember what Windows for Workgroups was actually like!

Some of the first networks I set up (this would have been 1992/93) were using Windows for Workgroups 3.1 and later 3.11, looking back at it now through modern eyes it was a fucking terrible system, but at the time it seemed wonderful.

Remember that MSDOS was still the operating system and Win for Workgroups was really just a program on top of that, it was not till Win95 that Windows became the OS.

This allowed users to share their resources and to request those of others without a centralised authentication server and used the SMB protocol over NetBIOS, Security? What was that?

The networks I set up at the time were quite small and mostly each network was contained within one room (smallish open plan offices) and each office having its own self contained network, the main purpose being to share the expensive £2,000+ B/W laser printers, one in each office space. They did not connect to the Internet in any way shape or form.

They were based on a Token Ring Network system using BNC cabling (basically TV areal cable) to link the PCs in the office together. As I recall we later added some CAT5 cabling between the rooms with switch boxes that had a BNC connector to connect them to the Token Ring in that room. This was to allow for the sharing of a VERY expensive colour laser printer.

Not really sure what my point is here but lets remember back then it was different world with different rules.

To get in my obligatory DNA quote:

"“In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.”"

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'Coke dealer' called us after his stash was stolen – cops

magickmark
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Re: Florida Man

You monkeys should never have come down from the trees. In fact the trees were a bad idea ....

And this from a race who can't even get the hang of poetry? "foonting turlingdromes" indeed!!!

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magickmark
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Re: Florida Man

I agree a 42 icon would be idea but until they do there is always this ========>

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magickmark
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Re: Florida Man

@Prst. V.Jeltz

Well as a race that crawled out of the primordial mud and once evolution saw you and gave up on you, I guess you are an expert on the subject? :D

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NHS trusts splashed £260m on PCs in last four years

magickmark

Re: My partner..

I was going to say much the same. I work within the NHS and I know they buy nice new shiny toys with Win 10 on them and then go and fuck them up by putting the same Win7 image they have been using since year dot!

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€100 'typewriter' turns out to be €45,000 Enigma machine

magickmark
Headmaster

@ whileI'mhere :)

Commas, in, comments, should, not, be, missed,

But, once, in, a, while, what, happens, is, this,

A, quick, remark, is, all, that, is, needed,

Grammar, and, punctuation, tends, not, to, be, heeded,

Forgive, me, my, sins, I'll, try, not, to, repeat,

I, feel, the, shame, right, down, to, my, feet

But, just, in, case, it, happens, again,

Here, are, a, few, spare, you, can, just, slip, them, in,

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magickmark
Pint

Re: Parental Chuckouts

"20-20 hindsight is no substitute for a glimpse into the future."

I find the best solution for this is a pair of beer glasses especially on a Friday afternoon.

Here's one to start you off.

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magickmark

Re: My Find

Cool me as well!!

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magickmark

My Find

Many years ago I came across a box full of 1st Ed's by the Irish author Lord Dunsany* at a book fair. Each one was just a few pounds each, not sure of the exact price but £2-£5 range. I hummed and hared but eventually moved on, but taking a card from the stall holder.

A few weeks latter regretting that I did not buy them I called him up and brought the whole box for something like £15 or so including postage.

On arrival I saw that each one had a book plate in the inside cover for a "Frances Perry" and hand written date that matched the publication dates and also some also had a second date for the late 70's in the same hand.

Intrigued I did some research and found out that there was a Frances Perry** who was a member of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn and that she was also an associate of Aleister Crowley.

I have no way of knowing if my books belonged to the same Frances Perry but as Dunsany's works are mainly fantasy of an esoteric nature it would fit.

Dunsany 1st Ed's now sell for £90-£150 and with the possible connections to Crowley and the Golden Dawn maybe even more if I could prove the provenance.

I still have them all and would never sell them.

* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Plunkett,_18th_Baron_of_Dunsany

** A Google search for that name now finds information for "Frances Mary Perry MBE VMH (19 February 1907 – 11 October 1993)[1] was a gardener, administrator, writer and broadcaster." I'd assume a different Frances Perry but her birth date would fit.

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Want to kill your IT security team? Put the top hacker in charge

magickmark
Mushroom

What would Simon say?

"However, you do need to have the basics down, he said. If a staffer is trying to tell you a two-day job could take a month, you need to have the tech chops to tell them they are bullshitting."

BOFH meet your New Manager.

New Manager, meet the BOFH

*stands back to watch the show*

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Twitter will no longer snaffle data allowances on Virgin Mobile

magickmark

"Presumably this involves continual examination of what sites/services are being used so they know which traffic to exclude from the total?"

Of course, remember the networks mantra "All your data iz belong to uz"

Carry on Commander!!

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It's time for a long, hard mass debate over sex robots, experts conclude

magickmark

Re: Plastic Pal

I was going to cite Westworld as well (have an upvote for doing so) but felt that Humans dealt with the subject in a more personal way and looking at the impact it had on a family unit as well as the robot/android/sexbot.

I feel the Westworld was more "what happens in Westworld stays in Westworld" though we know that it did obviously have knockon effects outside as well.

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magickmark

Re: Plastic Pal

On a slightly more serious note, if you've not yet seen the Channel 4 drama "Humans" I would strongly recommend it, this is exactly one of the issues it deals with.

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magickmark
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Plastic Pal

If we take the definition of a robot as "Your plastic pal who's fun to be with"* then surely 90%+ of woman in the western world have a sexbot already tucked away discretely in a bedside draw or handbag?

Can't see what the fuss is all about personally.

*The marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation defines a robot as "Your Plastic Pal Who's Fun To Be With."

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One thought equivalent to less than a single proton in mass

magickmark
Trollface

How high is a Chinaman?

I though the answer would be Two Thirty?

Oh wait a parsec that's when he goes to the dentist!

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magickmark
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Hat-tip to Douglas from Cambridge for spotting this article

As I read down and saw this "Hat-tip to Douglas from Cambridge for spotting this article" I immediately thought of the late great Douglas Adams.

Adams was born in Cambridge in March 1952 and he is quoted as saying that DNA (his middle name was Noël) was in the city nine months before Francis Crick and James Watson discovered its double-helix structure.

I'd like to think that this story would make him smile, firstly for the terrible grammar of ""Protons are lighter than thought" headline and secondly at the idea that a thought has some kind of mass.

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Male escort says he gave up IT to do something more meaningful

magickmark
Trollface

Screw you

Well at least he can now screw his clients and that's what they expect and want!!

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Researchers take the piss with pee-powered liquid energy project

magickmark
Coat

POWER starts with P!

How about this?

"How to Charge your Phone" by I.P. Daily

Mines the one with the damp pocket!!

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BOFH: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back

magickmark
Trollface

Re: New terms

You were on one of my courses then???

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Apple fanbois are officially sheeple. Yes, you heard. Deal with it

magickmark
Trollface

Re: Everyone is a sheeple!

Do Android users dream of Electric Sheeple?

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(You can't) buy one now! The flying car makes its perennial return

magickmark
Trollface

Re: Calories (or whatever measure of energy expenditure you prefer)

"But even using the same make and model equipment in the same gym doesn't guarantee the same results if, for example, one has been greased more recently than the other."

Indeed, if one has been greased more recently it can make a difference! But also one must remember to shower one's self after or else one will ruin one's new suite when going to the club after the gym.

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AWS v Oracle: Mark Hurd schooled on how to run a public cloud that people actually use

magickmark

Re: Over-reliance on single nodes ...

"At least Oracle's transparent moonshine won't kill people; let's be grateful for that."

I'd have to respectively disagree with that point. Within the Health Services (talking NHS in particular here) there are a number of Oracle databases in use that have potentially life threatening consequences if not accessible.

Not sure how that may tie into their 'cloud' strategy but I'd not like to have to put it to the test to find out!

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Customer satisfaction is our highest priority… OK, maybe second-highest… or third...

magickmark

Re: Close 'em down...

Thanks for the replys and thumbs up!

I've done a little research on Google (about 5 minutes worth!) and its come up with this:

All-Time Best Error Message

When a Texas Instruments 990 minicomputer was on the verge of crashing, the error message read: "SHUT 'ER DOWN, CLANCY, SHE'S PUMPING MUD!"

Here: http://www.computerworld.com/article/2552844/it-management/tidbits-and-timelines-from-the-past-40-years.html

There are a few other pages that discuss this and seem to agree with this as well but I'll not include them all but one other that is interesting re: Star Trek is here:

http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/61/messages/332.html

Now to do some real work!!

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magickmark
Alien

Close 'em down...

Many years ago i wrote a little DOS program (we'd call it an app these days). It was only for internal use at the org i was working at.

I had seen this posted on a forum somewhere as an obscure and apocryphal error message "CLOSE 'EM DOWN, CLANCY. SHE'S A PUMPIN' WATER"' with some debate about its authenticity.

I liked it so much I used it as the heading for my error messages along the lines of "CLOSE 'EM DOWN, CLANCY. SHE'S A PUMPIN' WATER: <error message here.>" for two reasons:

1) because it amused me

2) so it was a genuine error message

Every now and then I'll throw it in some code that only I'll see... because I'm a mature adult !!

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Manchester pulls £750 public crucifixion offer

magickmark

The earth has to be flat or what else is the Turtle going to do??!!!!

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Decapitating Rockall: How a 1970s Navy expedition blasted the top off the Atlantic islet

magickmark
Alien

I'm guessing the British Cthulhu would be Sir Walter R'lyeh?

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NASA extends trial of steerable robo-stunt kite parachute

magickmark
Paris Hilton

All in the best posssible taste

Well if it were released on the 14th Feb it could be a Cupid Stunt Kite?

With all due respect to the late great Kenny Everett

For our 'merican cousins:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLBW8L198GQ

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/books/article-2360476/The-shocking-truth-Kenny--CUPID-STUNTS-THE-LIFE-AND-RADIO-TIMES-OF-KENNY-EVERETT-BY-DAVID-AND-CAROLINE-STAFFORD.html

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Nokia's 3310 revival – what's NEXT? Vote now

magickmark

Psion Series 5

For me it would be the Psion Series 5 would love me a working one of those again.

Just found this place http://www.psionex.co.uk not sure how current it is but its temping!

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A webcam is not so much a leering eye as the barrel of a gun

magickmark

I must still be old fashioned! I still use and external webcam on my desktop PC and just tend to keep my lint free spectacle cleaning cloth hung over it when not in use or if I'm feeling in a particular tin foil hat mode I'll just unplug it.

And yes I know that would not work for a laptop with a built in cam, but I'd just use a bit of tape!!

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