* Posts by David Lewis 2

77 posts • joined 22 Aug 2012

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Insiders! The good news: Windows 10 Sandbox is here for testing. Bad news: Microsoft has already broken it

David Lewis 2
Facepalm

Re: Windows sandbox

"This is not a good basis on which to create modern reliable software."

Modern Reliable Software != Windows 10

FTFY

Spending watchdog points finger at Capita for 1,300 shortfall in British Army rookies

David Lewis 2
Facepalm

They're in good company!

Neither the Army nor Capita tested the changes...

Well if it works for Microsoft & Windows 10. Oh wait ...

Excuses, excuses: Furious MPs probe banking TITSUPs*

David Lewis 2
Joke

Pot, meet kettle!

"..."measly apologies and hollow words" aren't good enough..."

Why not? It's standard practice for politicians!

----> But is it?

Sounds like a massive, risky UK.gov scheme, but let's not keep too many tabs on it, OK?

David Lewis 2
Facepalm

No Business Case?

The level of incompetence is truly breathtaking but is anyone really surprised?

In over 40 years in the IT industry I have never seen a business case that wasn’t a total work of fiction.

Ding ding! Round Two: Second annual review for transatlantic data flow deal Privacy Shield

David Lewis 2

Quick Meeting.

Q: Is Privacy Shield fit for purpose?

A: No.

Q: Shall we continue to use it?

A: Yes.

Meeting adjourned. Let's get down the pub!

NASA to celebrate 55th anniversary of first Moon landing by, er, deciding how to land humans on the Moon again

David Lewis 2
Boffin

How to land humans on the Moon again ...

Let me guess:

1 It will take 10 times longer than Apollo.

2. It will cost 1000 times more.

Use Debian? Want Intel's latest CPU patch? Small print sparks big problem

David Lewis 2

Re: What's wrong with "contacted"?

Emphasis on "lookvisualisation".

FTFY

Schneier warns of 'perfect storm': Tech is becoming autonomous, and security is garbage

David Lewis 2
Unhappy

RAID?

Random Association of Insecure Devices?

Three-hour outage renders Nest-equipped smart homes very dumb

David Lewis 2
Joke

Re: "manually adjust thermostats"

You missed the obvious... you discover the update requires you to grant it $deity level privileges before it will install!

--------> Although I'm not so sure it is!

Surface Hub 2: Microsoft's pricey whiteboard gets a sequel

David Lewis 2
Facepalm

Re: "hints of new Windows interfaces"

"On the positive side, at least they probably can't make it any worse than now.."

Please don't offer Microsoft a challenge like that! They could, they really, really could!

What a time to be alive: LG and Italian furniture-maker build smart sofa

David Lewis 2
Devil

Cruel & Unusual Punishment?

You WILL watch Daytime TV!

Mad March Meltdown! Microsoft's patch for a patch for a patch may need another patch

David Lewis 2
FAIL

Re: That's what you get...

...when you've been outsourcing since 1996. I assume the Q&A is outsourced to the cheapest bidder ...

You don't know how right you are! Q&A has now been outsourced to the end-user so it costs nothing!

Hate to add to the wanky jargon – but your digital transformation is actually a bolt-on

David Lewis 2

Manglement Speak

... the latest bullish bullsh*t comments about transformation sit uncomfortably alongside high-profile problems ...

FTFY

MoD: Sci-tech strategy? Er, here's a bunch of words and diagrams

David Lewis 2
Holmes

Seems perfectly clear to me.

Translation ...

It will cost significantly more than estimated.

It will take significantly longer than estimated.

It will deliver significantly less than promised.

It was ever thus.

Survey: Tech workers are terrified they will be sacked for being too old

David Lewis 2
Facepalm

And in other news ...

"You can't find tech staff – wah, wah, wah. Start with your ridiculous job spec"

Openreach offers duct-off providers 'OSA Filter' instead of Dark Fibre Access

David Lewis 2
Coat

basic journalistic practice ... El Reg

Two concepts I never expected to see in the same sentence!

Brit spooks 'kept oversight bodies in the dark' over data sharing

David Lewis 2
Big Brother

Re: Like!

You can "unfriend" us as much as you like, but we will stalk you to the end of your days, and beyond.

Regards,

GCHQ

Aviation industry hits turbulence as Airbus buys into Bombardier’s new jetplanes

David Lewis 2
Coat

The UK alone rest of the world will be f*ck*d by the US whenever there is a significant advantage.

FTFY

Brit prosecutors fling almost a million quid at anti-drone'n'phone ideas

David Lewis 2

Re: Re:but the Government isn't restricted by the law since they can change it if they don't like it

"...but the Government isn't restricted by the law since they can change it retrospectively if they don't like it ..."

TFIFY

Dear rioters: Hiding your face with scarves, hats can't fool this AI system

David Lewis 2
Holmes

ACCURACY IS NOT GREAT

You are mistaken.

In the modern policing environment there is no such thing as a "false positive".

Whoever you are, you ARE guilty of something*!

* We'll make something up later.

Small biz breaks out pen, paper after Brit tax collectors' Digital Form Service goes down

David Lewis 2
FAIL

Re: 1.3 billion!

"£50 per hour, 8 hour days"

That's only a £400 Day rate - for "Consultants"?

Yes your maths is horribly wrong" you are out by at least a factor of 5!

NASA tells Curiosity: Quit showing off, no 'wheelies' please

David Lewis 2
Boffin

Re: Spoilsports!

Based on the latest info I could find, Curiosity has travelled 10.44 miles in 1734 days or an astonishing 2.508650519031142e-4mph!*

That would make for a verrrrrrrrrrrry looooooooooooong film!

* I'll leave it as an exercise for readers to convert this into approved El-Reg units (linguine per fortnight?).

David Lewis 2
Unhappy

Spoilsports!

I guess that means it won't be starring in "Fast & Furious 9" then?

Watchdog slaps NHS for failure to tackle correspondence backlog

David Lewis 2

Capitalism at its finest!

We've delivered a crap service which has lead to a backlog of 435,000 items, but for (another) crap-ton of money we'll fix it for you!

The standard outsource business model:

1. Deliver a system that doesn't work.

2. Get paid for fixing what you screwed up in the first place.

3. PROFIT!

That sound you can hear is them laughing all the way to the bank.

Lib Dems pledge to end 'Orwellian' snooping powers in manifesto

David Lewis 2

Re: given their record

"I distrust all of them equally and believe that there will be no change until the whole system is scrapped, it doesn't work."

It may not work for YOU (or me for that matter), but the system works very, very well for THEM!

Samsung battery factory bursts into flame in touching Note 7 tribute

David Lewis 2
Happy

Irony?

I don't know about irony, but I submit this is incontrovertible proof that Karma is real.

PayAsUGym breach exposes passwords

David Lewis 2
Facepalm

Err ... What?

“This highlights why it’s so important for businesses to make sure that employees can’t use the same password for their personal and professional accounts."

And just how is a Business to do that?

Do I have to tell them the password for my personal e-mail account so they can check?

100k+ petition: MPs must consider debating Snoopers' Charter again

David Lewis 2
Facepalm

Bury them in cr*p.

All we need is some enterprising soul to develop a simple browser plug-in or separate client that randomly generates terms for a Google search then randomly follows some of the links returned.

Leave it running all the time you are on-line, and swamp them with a massive ICR list of garbage.

The even more enterprising of us could even run such a robot on something like a RasberryPi, and have it run 27*7. Let's see just how good their "Big Data" credentials are.

Customer data security is our highest priori- ha ha ha whatever, suckers

David Lewis 2
FAIL

Re: Company law

... in the long term ...

What is this "long term" of which you speak? Pure fantasy!

For most Manglement, long term means "this quarter" or less.

Join the Q: British intel agencies seek tech-savvy apprentices

David Lewis 2

Re: CV?

An apprenticeship "could be a tempting alternative to a university degree – and a unique start to a career"

What about in the future when your CV won't get past the automated "Degree Required" filter and go straight in the "reject" pile.

While I applaud the reintroduction of modern apprenticeships I fear it may take some time for this "innovation" to percolate through the Recruitment Consultants & Human Refuse departments.

Elon Musk says SpaceX Falcon 9 fireball investigation is 'biggest challenge yet'

David Lewis 2
Coat

Re: calling the explosion an “anomaly”

I thought the correct term was RAD ... Rapid Unscheduled Disassembly!

The Rise, Fall and Return of TomTom

David Lewis 2
Pint

Mixed Feelings

TomTom is one of those companies that I both love & hate.

I have fond memories using their mapping on Psion (5 & netBook) and later on an iPAQ, with a collection of serial, CF card & Bluetooth GPS receivers. I still have all of them, gathering dust.

Then of course they entered the market with their own integrated hardware; and dropped support for the software product almost overnight. And, yes I do have a TT SatNav! :)

Then again there is their irritating habit of disabling obvious features and actively preventing workarounds with firmware updates.

Rant over ... time for a beer. =>

BT needs to ditch its legacy to be competitive, says chief architect

David Lewis 2

Re: "unfortunately that’s what makes the press"

"<10 kbps guaranteed !"

FIFY

Retired Philae lander slouches on Comet 67P

David Lewis 2
Coat

Look Closely

If you look reeeeaaaaaaally closely I'm sure you can see the clamp and parking ticket!

I wonder how much the fine will rack up by the time the comet comes around again and we mount an expedition to retrieve it?

Universal Credit: 'One dole to rule 'em all' on verge of recovery – report

David Lewis 2
WTF?

New elReg Metric?

"Some 12 years later we might have a working IT system"

For some definition of "working" of course! What is the official elReg units of "working"?

Stop lights, sunsets, junctions are tough work for Google's robo-cars

David Lewis 2
Coat

"How would it go in Naples, I wonder?"

That's an easy problem. It would just need two rules:

1. Ignore all road signs.

2. Rely on collision avoidance!

MoD flings £800m at Dragons' Den miltech startup wheeze as post-Brexit costs bite

David Lewis 2
Go

Re: Details here:

"... infantry in a real field can see - and respond to - simulated tanks and aircraft etc."

So that's MILSPEC Pokemon Go then?

Whitehall waste: Cash splashed on consultants and temps up 90% in half decade

David Lewis 2
Facepalm

Slow News Day?

In what way is this story remotely "News"?

GDS has no real strategy for £450m budget pot, internal plan reveals

David Lewis 2
Coat

The Panama Option?

They could always invest the money in a nice offshore tax haven while they make up their minds, and pocket the profit!

We wrap our claws around latest pre-Build Windows 10 preview

David Lewis 2
Coat

Re: Stay with 7

If they stayed true to form then Windows 9 would have been awesome!

IEEE delivers Ethernet-for-cars standard

David Lewis 2
Joke

Re: IEEE 802 for cars

No. BMW (drivers) don't do signalling!

US chap sharpens paradigm-busting scissors

David Lewis 2

No, no. These are only for cutting straight lines.

There will be a separate round of funding for V2.0 for cutting corners!

Drivers? Where we’re going, we don’t need drivers…

David Lewis 2
Joke

... we travelled from ethics, to robotics

I know where Essex is but Robotics?

Typo in case-sensitive variable name cooked Google's cloud

David Lewis 2
Trollface

Re: irony

Does that mean I can create a company called "alphabet" or "ALPHABET" or "AlPhAbEt" & I won't get swamped by their lawyers as they are "obviously different"?

Part of the world's IT brought down by Azure Active Directory issue

David Lewis 2

Only if the previous outage was more than 365 days ago. Anyone know?

Laid-off IT workers: You want free on-demand service for what now?

David Lewis 2

+1 for the MIGE reference!

So, GDS saved Brits £1.7bn through 'digital transformation'. Sure about that?

David Lewis 2
Unhappy

Or In Simple Terms

So politicians lie?

I shocked. Shocked I tell you.

Financial Conduct Authority wastes £3.2m on unnecessary Oracle licences

David Lewis 2
Holmes

Re: PostgreSQL

Simple. You don't get "Back Handers" for using free software!

Assessing the power of Intel’s SSD 750 … but check your motherboard before buying

David Lewis 2

Re: Does it work on AMD-compatible motherboards?

Yes it does. I can confirm the MSI A88XM motherboard does support this, as long as you update to the latest available chipset drivers.

Twitter CRAWLS to Google ON ITS KNEES, starts blowing content

David Lewis 2
Facepalm

Could be worse?

What if Google did a similar deal with Facebook? Oh crap, I hope I haven't given anyone ideas...

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