* Posts by Anomalous Cowshed

558 posts • joined 16 Aug 2012

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New HMRC IT boss to 'recuse' herself over Microsoft decisions

Anomalous Cowshed

Re: The words....

In other news...

Joe Clogs, a senior executive of Google, was yesterday appointed to head the ICO's policy unit. "He will not leave Google, he will be here on a 20 year sabbatical to help us adjust our procedures to the requirements of the modern world" said the head of the ICO in a press release.

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Smart cities? Tell it like it is, they're surveillance cities

Anomalous Cowshed

Re: Cough

There being around 9 million terrorists and potential terrorists in London, the surveyance and video cameras are entirely justified.

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Sorry, but those huge walls of terms and conditions you never read are legally binding

Anomalous Cowshed

Ladies, Gentlement...you are all kidding yourselves!

Why are you all so worried about the text of the T&Cs or contractual terms?

Have you ever thought what might happen in case of a dispute with one of these multi-million or multi-billion companies?

Have any of you ever taken a dispute to court in a bid to enforce your rights against one of these multi-corps?

I did it, once. The case, supposedly before the "small claims court"*, concerned a blatant, brazen theft of artwork from a poor artist by a huge multinational hotel chain (whose name starts with an "H" and ends with "att", there being a "y" in between, and which shall therefore remain anonymous here for all intents and purposes).

The hotel chain hired a huge, dodgy UK law firm to fight us (the artist and me, her representative, not a lawyer). Their entire approach consisted of legal trickery and provocative insults, the case being clear-cut.

At the hearing, the judge turned to the artist and said: "you know you could lose your home if you go to court and you lose the case?"

She then dismissed our claim, but mercifully didn't allow costs, basically telling the other side "I know you're lying and being dishonest".

Given that she was closely related to me, and the loss of her family's home or any part thereof would have been a disaster, I was RELIEVED to lose the case and get off so lightly.

Good bye, courts! As one honourable commentard pointed out above, the legal system is for the poor or the rich & powerful. Anybody else NEEDN'T APPLY.

* It turns out there's no such thing as a Small Claims Court in the UK; it's just branding for "crown court case involving a small claim", especially if your opponent decides to hire lawyers.

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Place your bets: How long will 1TFLOPS HPE box last in space without proper rad hardening

Anomalous Cowshed

Test about exposure to radiation in space

Doesn't the Earth's magnetic field provide quite a lot of shielding against space-borne radiation in low earth orbit? Isn't the real problem working out the survivability of electronics in deep space, where there truly isn't any protection?

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America throws down gauntlet: Accept extra security checks or don't carry laptops on flights

Anomalous Cowshed

Re: How about if we stop making more terrorists in the first place?

I take issue with your "TM". I prefer "R". What do you say?

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British prime minister slams Facebook and pals for votes

Anomalous Cowshed

Re: Get it right...!

"we never surrender the freedoms we have won, and that terrorists are so determined to take away"

Are the terrorists really so keen to get us to surrender our freedoms? Frankly, I don't think it's the terrorists' number one concern. In what way would it benefit them? On the other hand, there is indeed someone who, throughout history, has sought to get us to surrender our freedoms: the government.

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'Do not tell Elon': Ex-SpaceX man claims firm cut corners on NASA part tests

Anomalous Cowshed

Re: Yep...

But...

"Schrift ist Gift"

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Japanese lab's 'value-aware' SSDs last longer, recognise images faster

Anomalous Cowshed

The question everyone is asking is, when are all these fancy non-degrading solid-state memory technologies we keep hearing of going to reach the market? I mean, at the moment, we have a deficient technology (Flash), which we're mass-producing, and in a bid to cut costs and maximise productivity, we're making it more and more defective (MLC...), and spending enormous resources and ingenuity working around the severe flaws.

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Blighty's buying another 17 F-35s, confirms the American government

Anomalous Cowshed

Re: Come for the article

This business of US Marines lending aircraft to the UK carriers for the first few years, and F35 aircraft being bought from the US under strict T&Cs as to how they should be used and where they may be serviced, plus all the other political developments in recent years, with the UK "fighting" in Afghanistan, Irak and wherever else her US masters dictate, and joining in on the "terrorism" bandwagon so wholeheartedly, reminds me of the film The Fly, in which the apparently normal scientist*, who has just had a whirl in his teleporting machine without realising that there was a fly inside one of the pods, gradually loses his teeth, then bits of his face, and then all the other human bits, and transforms into...a fly.

*Jeff Goldblum

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Bloke charged under UK terror law for refusing to cough up passwords

Anomalous Cowshed

Re: Ugh

Sorry but I was once nabbed by police for trying to buy a travelcard in Charing Cross station AFTER travelling on the train, Reason: i had a meeting with my father in town and jumped on the train, not wanting him to wait half an hour for me until the next train. I had refused to give my addtess to the train company jobsworth who performed a citizen's arrest on me for 'trying to evade a fare', never mind that I was trying to buy a ticket from the excess fares booth at the time. Coppers were duly called, and threatened to arrest me on terrorism charges if I didn't cooperate and give my address. So I 'cooperated' like a good baby and gave them my address of course. it's easy to pontificate about cooperation with the forces of law and order from your plush armchair somewhere seemingly safe in middle class suburbia, but when this kind of thing happens to you, your love and admiration for the system and 'our boys in blue' or whatever colour they affect might take a bit of a hit.

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China launches aircraft carrier the length of 2.1 brontosaurs

Anomalous Cowshed

Re: Bollocks

Absolutely disgusting. Ban this person for life!

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Anomalous Cowshed

Bollocks

An aircraft carrier is something like 200-300 metres long. There's no way a Brontosaurus was 100 metres long. You're thinking of a Bolloxosaurus, surely?

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Will the MOAB (Mother Of all AdBlockers) finally kill advertising?

Anomalous Cowshed

The problem is that most ads are coming through a separate stream that is completely unrelated to the content you are viewing, a stream that is sustained by various tricks designed to target the ads published by the huge organisations that centralise these ads to you, by aggressively spying on you and tracking you and misusing your personal information at will.

A static, "native" ad in a web page, like an ad in a newspaper, would not entail such devious tricks, and it might be even better targeted and relevant, since it could be tailored to the content you are reading - i.e. the thing that you are seemingly interested in. This would be much better, but of course, it requires far more work than simply fitting some generic, invasive components provided by "ad slingers".

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IBM has cloud access to quantum computer 400 times smaller than D-Wave system

Anomalous Cowshed

How does it work

The informative videos show feature snazzy marketing music, graphics, and an outstanding letter "Q" which appears around 1/4 of the way through.

Then we see amazing models working on ultra complex machinery. At this stage, there seems no point in asking whether someone can tell me how it works, what is a Q-bit, what is the input, what is the output, how is it parsed, who will be able to parse it...

I just ask myself: is it all a con or a delusion, as suggested by the 3rd video with the card sharp? Is it homeopathic computing? Or is it genuinely amazing new science? But if it is amazing new science, why never any explanation? And if it is too complicated to be explained to a reasonable man in the street who can see the sense of standard science when it is explained to them, is there a new generation of super-human geniuses out there who are and will be the only ones able to understand and operate these new, mysterious machines? In which case, I for one, welcome our new Quantum Computing overlords and their wonderful marketing videos.

And: I beg and challenge anybody out there to explain to me HOW IT WORKS.

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'At least I can walk away with my dignity' – Streetmap founder after Google lawsuit loss

Anomalous Cowshed

Re: Eat up or destroy the competition.

Excuse me but the problem is that Google has a near monopoly on searching.

Therefore google is in a position of dominance, de facto controlling most Internet users' access to information about products and services.

Therefore google has a legal obligation to report search results neutrally, else it is abusing its dominant position.

Otherwisewhat is to stop Google from setting up any kind business and using its dominant position as a source of information ("search engine") to unfairly overcome the competition and drive them out of business?

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How do you make a qubit 10 times as stable? Dress it up for work

Anomalous Cowshed

Re: Impenetrable descriptions of Quantum Computing

This, in a rather clearer and more mature way, is exactly the point that I was trying to make: we might be able to understand the concepts behind Quantum Mechanics, but the concept of a "quantum computer" is perpetually shrouded in complex mathematical equations and jargon. Never has the appearance, implementation or practical working of a "Qbit" or Quantum computer been explained to me in terms that I could possibly understand; as such, it sounds to me like a confidence trick, and that's why I challenge their existence, until someone does explain the workings to me in a simplified way, as opposed to challenging my intelligence because I can't pierce through the shroud.

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Anomalous Cowshed

Re: Goddammit El Reg

OK thank you for the links, I will read and try to understand!

Can you just clarify something for me also:

- What is a qbit? What is its hardware or software manifestation (what is it made of, or what is the process whereby it is operated or its results are detected)?

Thanks!

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Anomalous Cowshed

Re: Goddammit El Reg

So, based on the foregoing replies:

1. According to Destroy all Monsters, I don't know to do linear algebra, so I can't understand the terms used in the post of Destroy all Monsters, and I feel as thick as a plank;

2. According to the tenor of the other postings, it has a strong whiff of bullshit anyway, algebra or no algebra.

Am I missing the point completely? The fact is, every time I ask someone to explain this "quantum" thing to me, I get the same kind of answers ("you're just too thick" or "something about cats").

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Anomalous Cowshed

Re: Goddammit El Reg

Please could you explain this gobbledygook in normal English and do us untermenschen a real favour?

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Anomalous Cowshed

And the bullshit keeps rolling on

Science is boring; most people who hunt pokemon go on their mobile phone in parks don't like it. And yet science can be cool, and there is money to be made if we manage to get the right angle.

Welcome then, to the future, the Quantum future, a fusion between marketing, management and science, bringing you weird shit you can't understand but that's got cool words in it including "Quantum", a word developed by certified top dead scientists.

It's the new science, based on the famous parable of "The emperor's new clothes", a story in which the emperor fools all the people in his land into believing that he is wearing no clothes.

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It's not us, it's you: Boffins ditch supercomputers in lust for new materials

Anomalous Cowshed

Breaking news - Politician unveils advance in Quantum Bovine Excressology (QBE)

The field of Quantum Bovine Excressology advanced by a giant leap today, when a senior politician, who cannot be named for some reason, announced that a tremendous advance in his profession had been made possible using techniques inspired by well-known and now world-renowned "Quantum" principles. In a statement to our reporter, the senior Minister said that it was "Better than an ipad, better than any supercomputer: so better in fact, you'll never understand what we're talking about, but anyway you're so gullible that it doesn't make a difference."

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EU set to bin €500 note

Anomalous Cowshed

Re: ...exceedingly pleasing brick of €500 notes

>>>500 euro notes now make up 75% of the money in circulation in Spain

I always knew that Spain was full of Torrerists! Ole!

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Flying Spaghetti Monster is not God, rules mortal judge

Anomalous Cowshed

Re: All 'religions' the same

I think the definition of a religion is whether the people who practise it take it and themselves seriously.

To test for that, you look for evidence of elaborate and perhaps seemingly senseless rituals, behaviours amounting to denial and even harming one's interests in the name of the religion, and above all refusal to accept any dissent, willingness to exclude / expel / excommunicate / exterminate the disbelievers or apostates or infidels and all that jazz.

So far the FSM people have not reached that level, I believe they love it because they think it's funny and irreverent. But beware, with passing time, some people may yet arise who do take it seriously and are not aware that it was ever designed to make a mockery, and then...it will be a religion.

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Bacon as deadly as cigarettes and asbestos

Anomalous Cowshed

Re: re-reporting the daily mail?

Breaking news:

Major shareholder of Daily Mail outed as a pig!

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Anomalous Cowshed

They got it wrong!!!

A study of the incidence of cancer among Muslim people and vegetarians discloses that NOT EATING pork is also a major cause of cancer. So given the choice between eating and not eating pork...

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Uber is killing off iconic black cabs, warns Zac Goldsmith

Anomalous Cowshed

Shouldn't consumers be getting what they want, how they want it, when they want it

"Shouldn't consumers be getting what they want, how they want it, when they want it, at the price they want it? Silly me for thinking it was the "public good" with which politicians were supposed to be concerned."

In a country populated only by consumers, that might be correct. But a country is not made up merely of consumers. There are also workers, who in a normal country, earn the money used to consume, or make the things that are consumed.

I reckon that the "public good" need to be considered in a balanced manner, especially when the new operator that enters the market and disrupts it doesn't create any new value, but instead merely channels the profits formerly earned by the workers / the people making the products or providing the services, into a new and single pocket: it's own.

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Intel's Compute Sticks stick it to Windows To Go, Chromecast

Anomalous Cowshed

5000 upvotes

If you had 5000 upvotes would you not have a silver medal? I understand it only takes 2000 upvotes to get one...

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Hawking, Musk, Woz (and others): Robots will kill us all

Anomalous Cowshed

Re: Hint: They are smarter than you, and anyone at Vulture Central, by a long shot

"Hint: They are smarter than you, and anyone at Vulture Central, by a long shot"

I would fix this sentence as follows:

"Hint: They are more famous and supposedly smarter than you, and anyone at Vulture Central, by a long shot"

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Jurassic squawk: Dinos were Earth's early FEATHERED friends

Anomalous Cowshed

Totally right

Welcome to the new, 21st century cool science of palaeontology

A lesson in logic:

1. We found one fossil of a dinosaur with what looks like feathers.

2. This means the weird bristles some people found on some other dinosaur fossils were feathers!

3. Which leads us to conclude that all dinosaurs were covered with feathers.

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Apple Watch is like an invasive weed says Gartner

Anomalous Cowshed

Did you see that picture?

That plant is really ugly and scary.

Exterminate!

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East Timor was officially removed from the internet yesterday

Anomalous Cowshed

Timor-Lester

As seen spelled in the middle of the article. The truth will out!

"Megalomaniac UK journalist attempts to take over entire new Asian nation"

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Man the HARPOONS: YOU can EASILY SLAY ad-scumware Superfish

Anomalous Cowshed

Adi Pinchas?

Sounds like "baddie Pinch Ass" but with some letters left out...as in:

The perpetrator of the sexual assault on the underground, who was caught pinching women's asses (whereupon the animals involved started braying loudly and got distressed), was arrested and ordered to change his name to one which would reflect the offence he had committed.

Being unmasked, he decided to change his career and become a fishing expert. He was arrested for covertly bundling malware on people's computers, which is not an offence per se, while failing to publicise the full name that had been forced upon him by the court (a serious offence for which he was ordered to change his name again to reflect his new offence. Any suggestions are welcome).

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Microsoft will give away Windows 10 FREE - for ONE year

Anomalous Cowshed

Windows 10 - available free of charge!!!

Here...kitty kitty!

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Facebook worth more than Portugal? Hell, it's worth a LOT more than THAT

Anomalous Cowshed

Conclusion

Just like McDonalds and chain smoking make a net negative contribution to their victims' health, so does Facebook make a negative contribution to the world's economy, by reducing the time people spend actually working, reading, learning or doing something else of use to them or society. This negative contribution is indeed huge. How many millions of jobs could be saved or created, if people were not spending ages tapping on their mobile phones or laptops and filling their minds with mass-produced drivel?

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Latest menace to internet economy: Gators EATING all the PUSSIES

Anomalous Cowshed

Re: "Of a suburban Los Angeles."

No, the writer of the article isn't implying that there are several cities called Los Angeles, but that there are several 'suburban Los Angeleses', whatever that might be.

Take another example of media-speak: "a young Sherlock Holmes". This refers not to one of several putative Sherlock Holmeses, but to one of several YOUNG Sherlock Holmeses. It is an established fact that there were several young Sherlock Holmeses, but only one of them survived to become THE famous Sherlock Holmes who had all those renowned criminal and scientific adventures, culminating in the discovery of DNA with Watson several decades after his death.

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Analysts claim itty bitty iPhone Mini to land next year

Anomalous Cowshed

Miniature iPhone about to launch, says Reuters

Reuters, 31 December 2030 - Analysts are predicting the launch of the smallest iphone in years, a bold innovation that will likely challenge conventional wisdom about mobile phones and revolutionise the market. The tiny newcomer is said to have a screen of only 40" and can be carried by 2 men (though why would any man want to carry a mobile phone, is anyone's guess) or a single phone carrier robot, as opposed to current 70-80" models, which require a team of the expensive phone carrying robots. There are many who doubt whether the smaller screen size will catch on, given the limitations that it places on applications and video. But that's no reason to block innovation, which must continue if mankind is to truly progress.

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Metrics house hails Apple DOMINANCE of X-Mas phone 'n' slab sales

Anomalous Cowshed

Apple's 51.3 per cent share of activations was by far the best among all manufacturers.

Thank you for clarifying that for us!

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What's Jimmy Wales going to do with $500k from the UAE?

Anomalous Cowshed

The Outlaw Jimmy Wales

You can criticise him for his slightly dodgy dealings since he went legit, and I can't argue with that, but back when he was a wanted man in the Wild West, the Outlaw Jimmy Wales was one cool son of a bitch. Probably the coolest one who ever walked and rode on the face of the earth. Cooler even than Chuck Norris. Nobody would dare to piss down his back and tell him it was raining. If he did, Jimmy would kick him so hard, he'd be wearing his ass* as a hat.

* He was an American

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The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies – Thin plot, great CGI effects

Anomalous Cowshed

Distortion and exploitation

The Hobbit films are to the book what those flashy new 100 metre skyscrapers going up all over old parts of London are to the rows of 3-storey Victorian town houses into which they are grafted by the greedy developers.

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DNA egghead James Watson sells Nobel prize for $4.8m, gets it back

Anomalous Cowshed

in my opinion

Watson should also have been awarded the Nobel prizes for literature and peace for his outstanding collaboration with Holmes in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, before he went on to discover DNA.

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97% of UK gets 'basic' 2Mbps broadband. 'Typical households' need 10Mbps – Ofcom

Anomalous Cowshed

Typical households need 10Mbps

Why do they need such a thing? To keep in touch with their relatives? To check their e-mail? To look at ads? To exchange cat videos? To watch pornography online? What could be motivating the dear, caring government to insist on ensuring that EVERYBODY has at least 10 Mbps broadband at home?

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Hawking: RISE of the MACHINES could DESTROY HUMANITY

Anomalous Cowshed

In general...

Once there's official recognition (prizes, awards, praise from popes and presidents, etc.) the game is up. You are dealing with a harmless mind adopted and tamed by the establishment.

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Pervert's Guide man's new book, an urban myths tome and Youth, an underrated gem

Anomalous Cowshed

Re: Are you suggesting that

Excuse me if it sounds arrogant, but yes, I am a greater bullshit artist than this gentleman. Even my name hints at it. Try me if you dare!!!

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Anomalous Cowshed

Trouble in Paradise: From the End of History to the End of Capitalism

Forget this, read: trouble in Lalaland - essays on the sex life of a ping pong ball, by Anomalous Cowshed, one of the world's foremost bullshit artists. It's an eye-opener.

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Has your STARFISH been DRIBBLING awful SLIME? Scientists now know WHY

Anomalous Cowshed

There are ten million viruses in a drop of sea water, so the discovery of a virus that is responsible for the illness of a sea creature was like searching for a needle in a haystack.

How about searching in the sea creature itself then, instead of the sea water (just a suggestion).

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ATTACK OF THE DRONES: ‘Nefarious’ private use rising, says top Blighty copper

Anomalous Cowshed

Or - STOP PRESS!!!

Bee Stings Man; Beekeeper Arrested In Sleepy Surrey Town For Nefarious Use Of Drones.

Police raided the farm where the attack had taken place and arrested the farmer and his children, who were found in possession of various items of suspicious electronic equipment, including a mobile phone with a camera on it, an AA battery and a pair of earphones, items which, although commonplace, might also be used for nefarious purposes.

"We are determined to protect the great British public from all occurrences of nefariousness, actual or potential, whatever the grammatical complexity involved" said Police Spokesman Fred Plod.

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Anomalous Cowshed

Nefarious private use of drones

Terrorists ahoy, me hearties!!!

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Lights OUT for Philae BUT slumbering probot could phone home again as comet nears Sun

Anomalous Cowshed

Question:

Can anyone tell me the orbital velocity of the spacecraft around the comet, and the average height at which it orbits? Thanks!!!

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FIRST for HUMANITY: Fridge-size PROBOT headed for COMET TOUCHDOWN

Anomalous Cowshed

Fridge-sized robot...

Today Fridge-sized, ye puny humans. Tomorrow, your worst nightmare come true!!! Ex-ter-mi-nate! Ex-ter-mi-nate!

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FUTURE ROBOTS will EXTERMINATE UK jobs – study

Anomalous Cowshed

Re: Here we go again.

Classic repartee!

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