* Posts by Pat Att

117 posts • joined 12 Jul 2012


Do you feel 'lucky', well, do you, punk? Google faces down magic button patent claim

Pat Att

patent lawyers have habit of turning written English into a gaspingly turgid explanation of a concept

As a patent attorney I can confirm this.

Florida man stumbles on biggest prime number after working plucky i5 CPU for 12 days straight

Pat Att


Let's make the most of it. With a name like that they'll be harder to find after Brexit.

Thanks to UK peers, coming to a laptop near you in 2019: Age checks for online smut

Pat Att

VPL, erm, I mean VPN

Can anyone recommend a good VPN? Asking for a friend.

The dingo... er, Google stole my patent! Biz boss tells how Choc Factory staff tried to rip off idea from interview

Pat Att

Re: First to file is now the law

Your patent attorneys are wrong. You don't need to file provisional patent, or any patent, for it to be considered prior art. Any verifiable publication will do. I speak as a patent attorney.

Analogue radio is the tech that just won't die

Pat Att

Re: Signal Delay

I bought a DAB radio expecting the crystal clear commentary, which I duly got - but the 2+ second delay while the signal gets digitised/compressed, fed through some network or other and then decompressed on my radio made the listening very frustrating

You need my new, pat pending, digital delay glasses. put them on and the world gets delayed by 2 seconds.

I'm working on some that delay by 40 years, for Brexiteers.

What could be more embarrassing for a Russian spy: Their info splashed online – or that they drive a Lada?

Pat Att


"After the farcical “identification” of one of the Salisbury accused with a GRU agent by bellingcat, why would anyone believe anything from him? "

What's the weather like in Moscow at the moment?

Fortnite 'fesses up: New female character's jiggly bits 'unintended' and 'embarrassing'

Pat Att

Re: I'm shocked...

"Anita Sarkeesian is a man-hating, narcissistic, money-grubbing, self-promoting liar of the first order"

She has some stiff competition from the female opinion writers in the Guardian then.

Microsoft gives Windows 10 a name, throws folks a bone

Pat Att

LibreOffice doesn't quite cut it

For home use, and lots of business uses I'm sure it's fine. When I started my own business 4 years ago I tried to use it. I had to give that up because my business involves sending lots of documents to people where they need to be in a particular format. Things like page numbering and line numbering were a real pain to do, and I got calls saying things were going wrong at their end.

Sadly it was just easier to bite the bullet and buy Word.

Now you can tell someone to literally go f--k themselves over the internet: Remote-control mock-cock patent dies

Pat Att

Re: This just underscores that patents are crap

If you've ever tried to get a US patent you'd know that's bollocks. The US patent system isn't great, but they do not make it trivial to get patents granted.

Pat Att

Re: This just underscores that patents are crap

Not really - the patent is US only, and so it doesn't stop anyone building on it in Europe over the last 20 years. People probably have (I don't know). And if you look at the claims, it's much more specific than what you say.

European Parliament balks at copyright law reform vote

Pat Att

Well done EU

This is the right result. Copyright is already far too protectionist, and this change would have badly affected smallish companies (not just the Googles of this world). trying to do innovative things online.

The Notch contagion is spreading slower than phone experts thought

Pat Att


WTF is this article about?

IP freely? What a wind-up! If only Trevor Baylis had patent protections inventors enjoy today

Pat Att

Re: Sorry, Trevor

If you've ever tried to get a US patent you will know they don't just grant any old thing They go through an examination process, and often reject applications based upon their flawed understanding of the prior art. Of course they occasionally let through things that shouldn't be granted, but this is not commonplace - it's just more noticeable when it happens.

Pat Att

Innacurate article...

There are several problems with this article. I'll point out one. There are no criminal sanctions for patent infringement. Bayliss wanted that, but didn't get it. It would be a disaster if it did come in too. He managed to get criminal sanctions for infringement of registered designs though, which is also a complete shambles.

Pat Att

Re: Get rid of IP totally

What garbage. If you get rid of patents then there is no incentive for companies to innovate, as anything they come up with will immediately be copied. No more drugs. No electrical device improvements. We'd just keep using the same old stuff we have now, as innovation is expensive.

Horn star Sudan, last male northern white rhino, dies aged 45

Pat Att

My solution

Shoot the poachers on sight. It's the only way to be sure.

Too many bricks in the wall? Lego slashes inventory

Pat Att

The cost!!

If Lego wants to sell more then they should do something about their obscene prices. Go to a branch of Wilco (in the UK) and you can get compatible bricks, and fancy designs at about a quarter of the cost of the Lego stuff. The instructions are good too. If more people bought this, then Lego might think twice about fleecing their fans.

RIP... almost: Brit high street gadget shack Maplin Electronics

Pat Att

I'll miss them

I didn't use them much (and it seems nor did many others), but they have helped me out of tight spots before, selling components (yes, they still sell them, in the Worcester branch at least), and the odd other item.

It looks like it'll be mail order only now, which gets expensive when you just want one transistor.

Sony Xperia XZ2: High-res audio but no headphone jack

Pat Att

No headphone jack?

It can piss right off.

James Damore's labor complaint went over about as well as his trash diversity manifesto

Pat Att

Learn to read...

So it's clear that there's another journo writing about this memo without actually going to the trouble of reading it. I'd expect better here.

UK worker who sold customers' data to nuisance callers must cough up £1k

Pat Att

Re: Actual accidents

I usually tell such callers to go an F- themselves, and be as obnoxious as my whereabouts permits. They might get the idea then that they are genuinely pi$$ing people off with their crappy job, and give it up for a better one.

Uber: Ah yeah, we pay women drivers less than men. We can explain!

Pat Att

The Guardian awaits...

I look forward to this news item filling a few anti-male columns in the Guardian.

Women beat men to jobs due to guys' bad social skills. Whoa – you mad, fellas? Maybe these eggheads have a point...

Pat Att

Re: Wow...

Personally, I wouldn't believe anything the Guardian say about gender. They are obsessed with it. Or more correctly, they are obsessed with being anti male.

Data-by-audio whizzes Chirp palmed £100k to keep working with EDF

Pat Att


They were programs back then (and still are to me), not apps.

Investigatory Powers Act: You're not being paranoid. UK.gov really is watching you

Pat Att

Re: sort of confused ?

"I've already made about 10 films today doncha know, including "man in shopping centre", "customer in Next", "citizen in petrol station"...

I really could have done without that changing room scene...

Google touts Babel Fish-esque in-ear real-time translators. And the usual computer stuff

Pat Att

No headphone socket?

Then it's not for me. The price is rather off-putting too.

'Don't Google Google, Googling Google is wrong', says Google

Pat Att

Rule 1

Never verb a noun.

Sacre bleu! Apple's high price, marginal gain iPhone strategy leaves it stuck in the mud

Pat Att

I don't always agree with this author...

But I believe Andrew has got this spot on. Hopefully this will be the product that forces people to re-evaluate their relationship with Apple.

How the CIA, Comcast can snoop on your sleep patterns, sex toy usage

Pat Att

But which router to choose?

Could you recommend a router that is relatively easy to configure in this way? Preferably too, one to which an external antenna can be added (as I will need it to create a WIFI bridge to a home-office in the garden (or is a separate device usually used for that?)).

Mid-flight jumbo font smartphone text shock sparks kid abuse arrests

Pat Att

At last! Some justification for my bad habit of reading other people's media, be it newspapers, computers, or phones, that are in view.

FUKE NEWS: Robot snaps inside drowned Fukushima nuke plant

Pat Att

"Fukushima is a great success"

I paraphrase, but wasn't it something like this that Lewis Page said of Fukushima after the tsunami struck it? I still chuckle at his take on things there.

Hey, remember that monkey selfie copyright drama a few years ago? Get this – It's just hit the US appeals courts

Pat Att

Re: Pressing shutter button != taking photo ?

I suppose in that example they probably wouldn't own the copyright either as the client would probably own it - and the client definitely didn't press the shutter button.

It's rare that the client would own it, but may do if the particular contract said so. In the case you suggested, the studio would own it, as the assistant would be an employee of the studio, and first ownership (in the UK at least) goes to the employer for work done by an employee. But even so, I suspect that the assistant wouldn't own it, but it would be owned by the person making all the creative decisions, i.e. the main photographer.

Germany puts halt on European unitary patent

Pat Att

Re: That is one of the EU's greatest strengths!

You do realise that the EPO is a completely different organisation to the EU (and UPC) don't you?

Also, the judges in the UK are technically qualified (at High Court and Appeals Court levels at least) and are very well respected.

Go, GoDaddy! Domain-slinger decapitates email patent troll in court

Pat Att

Re: Seriously!?

Your wife charges $1400 per hour? I really must up my rates.

iPhone lawyers literally compare Apples with Pears in trademark war

Pat Att

What a load of sh!it

As a patent attorney, I heartily endorse this article. The EUIPO made a bad decision there.

UK patent troll protections tweaked – lawyers exempted

Pat Att

Are you in support of unclear law Andrew?

The previous section was rather unclear, and left many questions unanswered. It therefore acted to prevent attempts at settlement before going to court. The new text tries to address the problems, and so should be better for everyone, and result in fewer court cases.

Bloke whose drone was blasted out of sky by angry dad loses another court battle for compo

Pat Att

Re: Boomerang

"I actually owned one [a boomerang] once."

There's a joke there somewhere.

That 'Trump lawyers threaten teen over kitten website' yarn is Fakey Fakey McFake Fakeface

Pat Att

Easy to prove..

Just publish the Cease And Desist letters.

Spy satellite scientist sent down for a year for stowing secrets at home

Pat Att

Re: It's always one rule for the top brass, another for the plebs.

That reminds me of that punk band crAss (with the anarchy-A in the middle):

"While the generals sip bacardi, the private feel the pain.". It was actually quite a good song. I've not heard any Crass records for far too long.

Road accident nuisance callers fined £270,000 for being absolute sh*tbags

Pat Att

My policy is...

to be extremely rude to the caller, when I receive these calls. I know they are only doing a job, but they are well aware that the job is to pester people who do not want their services. I thus hold them guilty by association. Hopefully they will then leave the company, and get a proper job instead.

Want to come to the US? Be prepared to hand over your passwords if you're on Trump's hit list

Pat Att

Re: What happens

Well pwned there.

RAF pilot sent jet into 4,000ft plummet by playing with camera, court martial hears

Pat Att

Re: “teapots”

Bit of a problem when you pour the tea from the pressurised container, and it starts boiling away though....

Trump inauguration DDoS protest is 'illegal', warn securobods

Pat Att

If whitehouse.gov is down...

... then whitehouse.com will get you up.

You have the right to be informed: Write to UK.gov, save El Reg

Pat Att

Not just the Reg that will suffer

Think what this will do to publishers like Private Eye. They'll be sued to death in months. It must be stopped. Please do so.

Hackers could turn your smart meter into a bomb and blow your family to smithereens – new claim

Pat Att

Re: permission to enter to do the install

If they've got that power, then the general meter reading guys don't seem to use it. I turned down entry to them many times in my old house, because they'd knock on the door, and ask to read it. I said I'd let them if they could tell me who I was. Every time they gave the name of the previous occupant, who left several years before. They always seemed happy enough though after being politely told to go away.

The Life and Times of Lester Haines

Pat Att

What a guy. If only I could fit a quarter of this into my life.

Apple sues Nokia's pet patent trolls

Pat Att

As it's Apple,I hope they get taken to the cleaners by the trolls.

Pat Att

Re: Patent expiry

Patents last 20 years from their filling date

Everything at Apple Watch is awesome, insists Tim Cook

Pat Att

Re: Another useful gadget

Smart watches - almost as useful as smart meters!

There you go Apple, you can have that slogan for free.

Apple will take it, and then sue you for printing it here.

Heard of Brexit? The UK vows to join Europe’s Patent Titanic

Pat Att

This is not the best source of legal information

I believe the author is trying to spin something here that doesn't match reality. The Unified Patent Court is nothing to do with the European Patent Office. The EPO will continue to grant patents as it always has, but at the grant stage the applicant will have the option of choosing, effectively, an EU-wide patent, rather than the individual country patents that are currently available. Then, the EU-wide patent will come under the auspices of the Unified Patent Court. It is, at that point, nothing to do with the EPO anymore. This sentence: Although the regulation empowers local courts to handle patents, which in theory should require less central bureaucracy, the EPO has morphed into a bureaucracy of over 7,000 staff. therefore makes no sense.


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