* Posts by davidp231

603 posts • joined 16 Jun 2012

Page:

Hey, Teflon Ballmer. Look, isn't it time? You know, time to quit?

davidp231
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Only the second?

What about Windows ME?

The less said about WinME, the better... now was your mouth out with soap!

Though saying that - the original Win98 release wasn't much better - they had to release it again to get it right.

So long, Hotmail: Remaining users migrated to Outlook.com

davidp231
Trollface

Better headline possibly?

So long... and thanks for all the phish?

Malwarebytes declares Windows 'malicious', nukes 1,000s of PCs

davidp231
Thumb Up

Re: @Ledswinger - This is not rocket science...!

Windows IS a virus.

Wrong - viruses are small and efficient in what they do...

Source: Linux fortune cookie.

German court says nein to Apple's slide-to-unlock patent

davidp231
Thumb Up

Re: It shouldn't be patentable....

I think the Nokia 8110 was the first to do it (aka the original Matrix phone).

davidp231
Coffee/keyboard

Re: …And there was much rejoicing!

"yaay". (in the most unenthusiastic voice possible)

Facebook skins Android with Facebook Home

davidp231
FAIL

Re: Creepy and SO not necessary

Just wait til the decide to pull the normal app completely and make this new pile of tripe mandatory, lest you settle for the mobile/touch versions of the site - which most end users (ie not El Reg readers) will be happy doing.

So glad I've ditched Android...

Mars to go offline for a month as vast nuclear furnace gets in the way

davidp231
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be a sun-shattering kaboom!

Duck Dodgers in the 24th 1/2 century!

davidp231
Happy

Re: We need a relay

You do realise that we're directly in the firing line if a hyperspace bypass is approved - with "love and kisses" by Zaphod Beeblebrox?

Gov report: Actually, evil City traders DIDN'T cause the banking crash

davidp231
Facepalm

No reconstruction?

Well that was disappointing... link for article showed Playmobil image but no epic reconstruction :(

Patent shark‘s copyright claim could bite all Unix

davidp231
Pint

Anyone else...

...think that this is the sort of stunt our favourite Bastard would pull to extort money from his company to fund his and the PFY's beer fund?

Vietnamese high school kids can pass Google interview

davidp231
Coffee/keyboard

Re: That's OK...

Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooood morning, Vietnam!

Furious Stephen Fry blasts 'evil' Reg and 'TW*T' Orlowski

davidp231
Mushroom

Programming languages

This reminds me of an article I read where a Beeb tech journalist referred to HTML and CSS as programming languages, whipped up a few pages, and went on to claim he had learned a new progamming language in a day.

It was always my understanding that programming languages and markup languages were two totally separate entities.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-17726085 If anyone fancies a gander.

Nuke - for the potential fallout.

Stargazers spot first-ever planet forming in dusty disc

davidp231

I've got a million ideas and they all point to certain death.

Careful.. you'll set Marvin off..

Brain the size of a planet and I have to fetch the prisoners. How depressing" (or words to that effect..)

There's cling-ons on the starboard bow! Trekkies' wallets under attack

davidp231
Alert

"* From The Next Generation onwards - before that, Starfleet crew used portable flip-phone-style transceivers."

Not technically correct... the crew of the Enterprise C had the traditional style badge (and uniforms from the 2-6 films), and the functionality of the badges seen from TNG onwards. True that episode is a TNG one (Yesterday's Enterprise), but the timeframe which the Ambassador Class ship was in service was quite a while before the Enterprise D was launched.

Carrie Fisher dusts off THAT bikini for Star Wars VII

davidp231
Thumb Up

Re: With a bit of CGI...copious amounts of coke

There's something about a cute girl with heavy weaponry I find frighteningly irresistable.

Especially when said heavy weaponry includes a bazooka/RPG...

Canonical announces Mir display server to replace X Windows

davidp231
Joke

Re: Oh FFS

Perhaps time to seek a different Linux until Canonical figure out what the fuck they are doing.

So they could be seeking for a long time then...

Amazon yanks SimCity download from store

davidp231

Re: It already exists!

And the original install was on 2 HD floppies! Installed it took up about 4 meg.

davidp231
Happy

Re: Online for single player is BS

I know on the windows version there's a funky setting in the registry so you can tell it to launch in offline mode - I can't speak for the Mac version though, but I'm sure if one poke around in the settings file (wherever it lives) the same thing could be done.

BOFH: Climb the corp ladder - and use your boss as a bullet shield

davidp231
Pint

Our prayers have been answered!

Fridays are good again. Long live the BOFH and PFY.

SimCity Classic

davidp231
Pint

Re: Available on so many formats

Indeed there is - official too, and they got it to run in 32K of memory.

Chromebook app launcher touted to Chrome browser users

davidp231

Yet...

Clarkson: 'I WILL find and KILL the spammers who hacked me'

davidp231

Re: Yebbut...

Gillan, for the good points on her front side... ;-)

davidp231
FAIL

"More likely he used a weak password."

Much like Burger King's whopper of a mistake (pardon the pun) of using the classic of 'whopper123' on the Twitter feed...

--Epic fail - for BK's password.

davidp231
Headmaster

'Anonymous Coward Pedantic Grammar Nazi' - your timidity is frowned upon... The Pedantic Grammar Nazi Party do not hide behind anonymity.

I think you forgot something.. (see avatar).

davidp231

Re: @Helena Handcart: Stupid little boy

With the new VW Scirrocco... wasn't it Germany to Warsaw in one tank?

davidp231
Thumb Up

Re: Uh-huh

Nice try but it sounded a lot more scary when it came from Liam Neeson's mouth.

Even more so if he used is Hannibal persona from The A Team....

Absent without leave

davidp231
Pint

Maybe he's gone to KiwiFoo again... or worse, the PFY has successfully bumped him off - but then again it takes more than death to stop our BoFH.

Though I could swear we had one recently posted for this month - or did I hallucinate it as it seems to have gone walkies.

Python-lovers sling 'death threats' at UK ISP in trademark row

davidp231
Coffee/keyboard

Re: I guess they didn't expect..

NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Facebook in futile attempt to block perverts from Graph Searching for teens

davidp231
Trollface

Re: I've got a solution for this...

150bps should be more than sufficient. ;-)

Soak up CO2 with sponges, says CSIRO

davidp231
Pint

Re: Where are we going to store it?

Why not depost it somewhere with lots of greenery... I mean plants and trees do love CO2... they get more 'food', we get more air to breathe.

That, or just find a way of using CO2 as a reliable power source. Given how much we generate, it could provide a tasty amount of juice.

Car dashboards get Nokia HERE without a phone in sight

davidp231

Re: Mandated? You must be kidding!

"What happens when a hacker or pissed off employee corrupts the SatNag and dumbed down drivers just follow the SatNag's directions slavishly off the eadge of the nearest cliff like Lemmings!!!!!!"

Current SatNavs already have a habit of doing this, and that's without user intervention. Sending 18 wheeler trucks down country farm lanes and getting stuck. Or telling you to take the next left in its journey plan, and sending you straight into a multistorey car park gate, and totalling your motor - as happened to a famous figure I met a few years ago.

Earth-like planets abound in red dwarf systems

davidp231
Alien

Re: If there is life out there, they're keeping quiet

"If so, why haven't they found us and made contact yet?"

The Vulcans aren't due to pass by the solar system until August 2063, so plenty of time for us to wok on a warp capable ship.

/trekkie mode off

GNOME project picks JavaScript as sole app dev language

davidp231

Re: What is the problem?

Screw the stairs.. follow the Coffee HOW-TO and you can have a non-javascript controlled coffee machine hanging off the printer port.

davidp231

Re: For goodness' sake

COBOL and the various editions of Fortan?

davidp231
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Gut feeling ...

Schools teach these days? Earlier I read an article about the new "core curriculum" they are going to introduce...looks an awful lot like the stuff I did when I started school - in 1987. (such as teaching kids their multiplaction tables at an early age, and the importance of grammar and punctuation etc).

Also, an addition to your deluded 240 workers (which made me giggle) - you forgot to mention the sharing of a crappy inkjet printer between them all. ;-)

Tracy brothers are back: Thunderbirds Are Go! again in 5... 4... 3...

davidp231

He was, that's the sad part of it all.

davidp231
Happy

Re: More to the point...

"And I also had the fold-up (Ordnance Survey style) map of Sodor... Does that make me a geek?"

"Only if you still have it"

And in mint condition, still in packaging.

BlackBerry bets fans are willing to upgrade skills

davidp231

Re: May I suggest 'TCFKARIM'

Or Klingon..

RIM blows on the dice, gets ready for its FINAL THROW

davidp231
Meh

I wonder....

Have they fixed the issue where it decides to scroll up and down pages while you are filling forms in using their browser (because certain letter keys function as a shortcut to page up/down), and pressing delete whilst in said text box it decides to go back a page instead? (on those with physical keyboards/pads)

My first BB was the Pearl 8220 (the one with wifi) - wasn't too bad, except for the above problem, and that it decided to reset itself at random - usually during a call. I went through three of them and the all exhibited that problem. Never bothered since.

YouTube's hilarious cat videos could soon cost you $5 a month

davidp231

Re: YouTube would need to offer a better way to find content

80s cartoons is the only reason I actually make any use of Youtube.

Star Trek saviour JJ Abrams joins the dark side: Star Wars VII

davidp231

Re: Ughhh

I recall one of the early TNG episodes (might even be the pilot) where they do a warp-speed transport, though I think they dropped out of warp for an instant to transport, then jumped back to warp 9. But warp-beaming happened a lot - I vaguely remember the phrase "matching warp speed for transport". Might have been DS9 or Voyager though, but it's definitely in there somewhere. In fact thinking about it... "Best of Both Worlds" springs to mind...

UK.gov stalks jobless online to axe work refuseniks' benefits

davidp231

Spot the deliberate mistake here..

"The site was set up by recruitment firm Monster, which is being paid $16.7m for its services."

And I don't mean the use of Monster... bunch of useless m*cking fuppets..

Baby got .BAT: Old-school malware terrifies Iran with del *.*

davidp231
Trollface

From BOFH 2006, episode 8:

"Well I logged in as root earlier and I was just going to try that ps thing you mentioned, but instead I accidentally typed in 'nohup cd /; rm -rf * > /dev/null 2>&1 &' "

"Okay." he gasps, "Just type in fg."

"fg, ok, oh bugger, I accidentally typed control-d instead."

"I...well, I suppose we could have a lesson on reinstalling a box from scratch," he sniffs.

Google's Nexus 7 tabs 'can't perform' if flash RAM crammed

davidp231

In-depth clarity.

One would never see 500GB/500GB on a hard disk. Some of that is lost when it's initially low level formatted at the factory, due to sector/layout information etc. In reality a 500GB disk when unpartitioned will only allowed something in the region of 440GB because of this. Much in the same way 3.5inch floppies had an unformatted capacity of 2MB. A chunk of that is taken when it's formatted, leaving you with 1.44MB. I've got 2x 250GB hard disks in my rig, and their unformatted capacity is 232.88GB, due to the above reason.

Flash memory/memory cards are no different in this respect. With this in mind on your nice shiny new 250GB drive (in this case), you'll have 210GB free after Windows (or your OS of choice) is installed.

Microsoft to announce new Office version on Monday

davidp231

Re: I'm happily ...

Screw 2003... Office 97 all the way... even less flashy bling! Much smaller footprint as well.

davidp231
Thumb Up

Re: Microsoft Ultimate Dogfood Edition

If you're referring to cheese squares, I call it 'plastic cheese'.

davidp231

Re: Give me proper menus back...

Opera does this already :-)

'Extreme' solar storm speeding straight towards Earth

davidp231
Facepalm

Solar flare comments

And not one BoFH Excuse Calendar reference?

Anonymous hack hands WikiLeaks TWO MILLION Syrian emails

davidp231
Thumb Up

Re: Peoples Liberation Front

Woudln't that be the Popular People's Liberation Front? ;-)

BOFH: The back-up backdown smackdown

davidp231
Pint

Happy BoFH Day!

Best way to cheer up after a bad morning!

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