* Posts by Adam 1

2452 posts • joined 7 May 2012

Behold, the world's most popular programming language – and it is...wait, er, YAML?!?

Adam 1
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And apparently the most popular language is markdown, with all those readme.md source code files all over GitHub.

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Microsoft sysadmin hired for fake NetWare skills keeps job despite twitchy trigger finger

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Re: Who writes the damn matching algorithms???

Shirley it would be

Select distinct c.*

From Company victim

Inner join Company oldvictim

On victim.CategoryId=oldvictim.Category and victim.Id<>oldvictim.Id

Inner join CandidateHistory ch

On ch.CompanyId=oldvictim.Id

Inner join Candidate c

On c.id=ch.CandidateId

Where victim.Name='FooCorp'

And (c.LastPlacementDate>DateAdd(Month, -6, GETDATE()) or c.LastPlacementDate is null)

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If at first or second you don't succeed, you may be Microsoft: Hold off installing re-released Windows Oct Update

Adam 1
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> That stunning Redmond Q&A at work again, we guess.

I am old enough to remember before the abbreviation of Quality Assurance had an ampersand in it.

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Oz lad 'fell in love with' baby meerkat, nicked it from zoo, took it out for a romantic Big Mac

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I thought it was simples enough

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Adam 1
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"Obviously life outside its mob just doesn't compare"

Bravo

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Junior dev decides to clear space for brewing boss, doesn't know what 'LDF' is, sooo...

Adam 1
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Re: Killing a database?

> Consider: 80 characters per card (72 for data in my example). 2000 cards per box. Maybe ten boxes on my handtruck. That's 1,440,000 bytes of data.

Wow. That'd almost hold the minified js files that a typical modern web app needs to launch.

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Samsung 'reveals' what looks like a tablet that folds into a phone, but otherwise we're quite literally left in the dark

Adam 1
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You're folding it wrong!?

/I'll grab my coat

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Stairway to edam: Swiss bloke blasts roquefort his cheese, thinks Led Zep might make it tastier

Adam 1
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Mummy Cheese do do do-do-do

Mummy Cheese do do do-do-do

Mummy Cheese do do do-do-do

Mummy Cheese.

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Solid state of fear: Euro boffins bust open SSD, Bitlocker encryption (it's really, really dumb)

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Re: This explains it

> They also have the software that puts up 'HACKING PASSWORD' in 196 point red letters.

There is some pretty amazing software available on the internet these days. A lot easier than in days of old.

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DBA drifts into legend after inventive server convo leaves colleagues fearing for their lives

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Re: My boss was demonstrating the instrusion sensors on our building

Re: percussive maintenance

A large number of years ago, our former office space was turned into an unworkable wall of noise due to an alarm in the neighbouring suite. It was triggered by who knows what, blasted for 15 minutes, then turned off .... for maybe 5 before repeating the process.

After the fourth or fifth cycle of this, and with no tenant in sight for the adjacent suite, a former colleague pushed his chair away from the desk with resolve, stood up, grabbed a screwdriver of the workbench and disappeared into the service corridor. He must have found the tenant because the alarm went quiet a minute or two later. And the tenant must have got that issue fixed because I don't recall it happening again after that. I can imagine no other method by which the peace we experienced after that time could have occurred.

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Which scientist should be on the new £50 note? El Reg weighs in – and you should vote, too

Adam 1
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Re: Francis Bacon

Wow, well you just brought an ICBM to a knife fight. I mean all of these other suggestions have merit, but you cannot compare them with Bacon. Bacon is the best thing since sliced bread with bacon on it.

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Adam 1
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Re: How about Claude Shannon?

Obligatory

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Shift-work: Keyboards heaped in a field push North Yorks council's fly-tipping buttons

Adam 1
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Re: Shifting old keyboards?

I'm pretty sure that even old keyboards have specific buttons when you want to shift them.

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Adam 1
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Re: Identifying the original owners...

No. I'm Password123

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Apple's launch confirms one thing: It's determined to kill off the laptop for iPads

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wait how!?

How did this e-rag manage to get an invite to an Apple launch?

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With the 6T, OnePlus hopes to shed 'cheeky upstart' tag and launch assault on flagships

Adam 1
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Re: why all the fuss over a headphone socket?

My Bluetooth headphones still work when the battery is flat if you plug the 3.5mm cable in. It's nice to have the option, and no manufacturer has really been able to put forward a good case as to why it needs to go.

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Oz spy boss defends 'high risk vendor' ban

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> In a rare public speech, ASD boss Mike Burgess said “a potential threat anywhere in the network is a threat to the whole network”. It's “paramount” that Australia gets critical infrastructure security right, he said.

Entirely agree. We should make sure that anywhere that we source key infrastructure hasn't legislated that their companies build in backdoors into the security layers of their products.

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Memo to Microsoft: Windows 10 is broken, and the fixes can't wait

Adam 1
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Re: "Quality" is a structural attribute, not a bolt-on

I'm going to disagree with you on that. There is nothing fundamentally wrong with agile development. It does not permit untested work. TDD (which if you're doing agile correctly is kinda mandatory) means that you should have your tests written before you start copy pasting from stackoverflowwriting code. If you are doing things properly, you are getting input from QA before you design the tests in the first place. It was never about removing QA from the process. Everything about it is to remove the distance between the subject matter expert and the code monkey so that misunderstandings can be discovered and rectified much sooner.

Of course, you are probably thinking about that other definition of agile favoured by PHBs the world over, where any form of analysis is disregarded because agile, any form of planning ahead can be forgotten because agile, and any form of QA can be ignored because we once showed the devs how to install nunit. That is of course bollocks.

Quality is derived from culture. You need a culture that is ashamed of breaking things, ashamed when their test case design fails to detect a breaking change, is proud about coverage (real, not by fooling the tools), hates when something slips through to QA and really hates when a customer suffers a bug.

Companies that only value story point velocity, that don't invest in reducing technical debt inevitably find themselves producing code which is a quick hack around some work around ona half designed proof of concept which resists even basic enhancements, which then hurts the velocity, so no time for paying back that technical debt and the QA cycle needs to be cut to make deadline. Sigh, I guess some people cannot learn.

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Adam 1
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Re: I stopped right here...

And to be fair, as an enterprise customer, I can think of several places where the breakdancing poo emoji may come in handy.

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SQLite creator crucified after code of conduct warns devs to love God, and not kill, commit adultery, steal, curse...

Adam 1
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There's always Oracle

if you would rather align yourself with the antichrist.

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Can't get pranked by your team if nobody in the world can log on

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Scanning an Exchange server for a virus that spreads via email? What could go wrong?

Adam 1
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Re: Sweet memories...

> For example, the idea that a washing machine might, on 01/01/00, think it was 1900, and, that as it hadn't been invented yet, it ought to shake itself to bits and then spontaneously combust.

... And I would have gotten away with it if not for you pesky kids.

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Adam 1
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Re: "by sandblasting all the paint off, and then re-painting ;)"

> ... if you have a corpse in the trunk, after the sandblasting and repainting, you will still have a corpse in the trunk...

Asking for a friend?

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AI's next battlefield is literally the battlefield: In 20 years, bots will fight our wars – Army boffin

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> in 20 years there could be largely autonomous drones. But replacing the grunts on the ground with machines will require some currently unimagined breakthrough in energy storage (or micro-generation)

20 years and breakthrough energy generation required, hey. Hmmmm. I guess it's lucky that fusion power is only 20 years away*.

*As it has been for the past 50 years or so.

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Microsoft yanks the document-destroying Windows 10 October 2018 Update

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> So perhaps Debian should teach them how to implement Debian Stable

I think they've started by studying systemd.

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Oracle? On my server? I must have been hacked! *Penny drops* Oh sh-

Adam 1
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Re: 1200 baud down, 75 baud up

> Oh you had it good didn't you!

>

> 300 baud we were stuck with in the 80's. And they only gave us 0's. We had to make 1's by hammering a few 0's flat!

Well lah-de-dar. Look at me and my hammer owning workplace.

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It's over 9,000! Boffin-baffling microquasar has power that makes the LHC look like a kid's toy

Adam 1
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Re: LHC = 27Km circle

> It's just for reference. It's like saying Jupiter is a gas giant: it can fit 1,300 Earths.

How many Olympic Sized swimming pools is that?

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What could be more embarrassing for a Russian spy: Their info splashed online – or that they drive a Lada?

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> I imagine people who pull this kind of stunt when the Kremliin doesn't want them to, are running considerable risks that have nothing to do with the courts.

Quite. Especially when the folks that you've outed have just been caught attempting to kill a former spy with a chemical weapon visiting cathedrals with historically interesting spires.

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SAP bug beatdowns, Apple gets nasty with Mac repairs, Struts woe, and more from infosec

Adam 1
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I respectfully submit that any attempt to use such a "feature" in Australia will find things a tad awkward under the Australian Consumer Guarantees.

Let me quote from page 1.

"Products must also:

......

* come with full title and ownership

* not carry any hidden debts or extra charges

* come with undisturbed possession, so no one has a right to take the goods away or prevent you from using them"

Also, you don't need to deal with Apple to make a claim under this guarantee. It is your choice as to whether you talk to the retailer or the manufacturer or the importer.

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Dutch cheesed off with Russians, expel four suspects over chemical weapons Wi-Fi spying

Adam 1
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Re: Not GRU

Yes. The church is famous for its large octagonal tower with a baroque style dome and lantern, crowned by a cross.

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Adam 1
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Wait. Did AC just admit to hacking a previous chemical weapons investigation?

Clearly I have the perfect solution to these shenanigans. We'll simply demand their phone passwords and fine them 60K if they don't tell us.

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What do Zuck, Sergey, @Jack and Bezos have in common? They don't want encryption broken

Adam 1
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Re: Dabbb

"Retarded" down voter here. What you presented was a false dichotomy. Not believing in government fairy-math doesn't make me support the farcebooks and slurps of the world.

The legislation they are trying to ram through makes noises about companies not being permitted to weaken encryption but simultaneously holds them to have capabilities to decrypt them. This is a mathematical impossibility. Not that one cannot choose elliptic curves that generate random numbers in a predictable way to the designers, or that the encryption key cannot be put in some escrow or thata message could not be intercepted at a point where it isn't yet encrypted. That will work but it will significantly increase other security vulnerabilities.

If the government actually spent more than 8 seconds per submission they received in considering the feedback, they might actually learn something. Yes. Literally 8 seconds.

I'll credit the shadow minister with making the right noise about those risks, but she should remember that it was her side's underpants head that first tried to bring in the mandatory metadata retention laws we are now saddled with. Colour me a tad skeptical that they remember their opposition logic when they are surrounded by the groupthink that pervades their advisers in government. I do wish our media would at least try to elicit a commitment from the opposition to reverse these laws if they win the election in a few months.

But you may want to reflect on why you think that calling someone retarded is an insult.

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New Zealand border cops warn travelers that without handing over electronic passwords 'You shall not pass!'

Adam 1
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Re: Have fun!

> Seriously, I've never seen so much fuss made about a provision that - by current international standards - is still incredibly mild (by which I mean, you're subject to way more intrusive searches if you fly into, say, the USA or Australia, where they will simply seize your device - indefinitely - if you refuse to unlock it on demand). What the hey do some of you people keep on your phones, anyway?

I guess if you have nothing to say, there is nothing to hide. Listen, if it's not too much trouble, please send us a nightly report of whomever you associated with that day, your exact location by the minute, a copy of any photo you took (remember to tick the box so we get the location with it please).

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TLS proxies? Nah. Truthfully Less Secure 'n' poxy, say Canadian infosec researchers

Adam 1
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Re: Unfortunately, there can be some good reasons for this.

Do you honestly believe that nation states are the only ones who MitM? The hardware to MitM an open WiFi access point is in the order of $100-$200, complete with YouTube instructions. Injecting coinhive.js into any HTTP delivered page is beyond simple. Runs on batteries and is small enough to be discretely hidden in your bag, some even in your pocket (depends on the range you want as to how big the antenna is). In terms of complexity, this is "interview question for a junior info sec position" complexity level. As in, not even a theoretical test but rather here is a device, do it,

And coinhive is at the lighter end of a criminal payload.

But even taking your example of browsing some online brochure which you deem to be perfectly adequate over http. When you click the buy it link, I'm sure that you would agree that it should jump to Https. The site may even put the redirect in for you, so that's nice. Unfortunately, as the page was delivered in an insecure fashion, the MitM can intercept that page and replace the form submit target. Awkward.

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NSA dev in the clink for 5.5 years after letting Kaspersky, allegedly Russia slurp US exploits

Adam 1
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> It would later surface that Pho had been taking his highly classified work home with him for roughly five years prior to the incident, and had amassed what US prosecutors called "massive troves" of classified information.

---

But don't worry about those "our spooks need to crack at will but somehow, magically, isn't going to reduce security of encryption laws". There is just no way for those skeleton keys to find their way into an adversary's hands, and even if they did, it's not like they would have them for halfa decade with no-one noticing.

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Oz government rushes its anti-crypto legislation into parliament

Adam 1
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Ok, we've just run this through our Enigma.io system. It says

{"messages":[

{"text":"Can we have another go at repealing 18C?"},

{"text":"QUOTA'S BAD!!1!! Hurumph"},

{"text":"Right, so our new energy plan is to ban wind and just burn non-Adani coal, then subsidise it so it's no more expensive than solar. Sounds good to me. Can someone just run it past Alan?"},{"text":"Got half a billion here to spend on the reef. Anyone know a small charity stacked with petrochemical board members we can grant it to?"},

{"text":"Hey man, know it's a Sunday, but need to call in a favour about my au pair."},

{"text":"Don't worry mate, you've got my full support."}

]}

Crazy talk there, glad we could help. Some folk are really messed up. I can't imagine how I'd sleep if someone sent me the last one.

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Adam 1
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Dear el Reg,

Please name names after the vote. No-one can possibly argue that a week is sufficient to consider the far reaching implications of this potential law. So some of our (supposed) representatives are being negligent in their duties if they wave it through. This is a hard area of law. But that means a large effort is needed to be on top of the many consequences. My ballot paper sometime between now and May wants to take it into account.

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Adam 1
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Re: I had to read this twice

Shouldn't it be daft law?

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Just 13 – no, er, make that 3,200 punters hit in Oz's Perth Mint hack

Adam 1
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Re: It's times like these you need

Minties make me sad. Very delicious, but I think I've paid the lease for enough of my dentists' Audis.

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Boffins bash Google Translate for sexism

Adam 1
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Re: English non-gender pronouns

English "they" doesn't communicate whether you mean singular or plural whereas s/he implies singular*

Singular:

I was speaking with a former colleague. "They" couldn't deal with that stupid manglement for another day.

Plural:

Those school kids on the train were so noisy. Why can't "they" stare at their mobile screens quietly like other normal people.

Notice how my second sentence doesn't on its own explain whether I mean one or many? So you've fixed one problem and introduced a new one.

In many cases, you don't need the additional gendered information, either because it has already been communicated and is therefore redundant or because whilst not communicated, it bears no relevance to your point.

*Doubtless someone will find some sentence which breaks my point.

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By gum: Supermicro's Samsung storage ruler server uses secret SSD

Adam 1
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if you have to ask....

you probably aren't their target market.

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A boss pinching pennies may have cost his firm many, many pounds

Adam 1
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Re: Developer PC

> was so slow that compiling (building) the application literally took 10 minutes.

I had no idea that the node stack had been around for such a long time.

/Only half joking, doing a clean checkout of 10 quadrillion 1KB js files is, er, not the fastest thing in the world.

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Adam 1
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Re: Imagine...

> And this isn't counting nefarious teenagers breaking the chain by unplugging one of the BNC connectors...

Yeah, sorry bout doing that, er, on behalf of a good mate of a mate.

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Official: Google Chrome 69 kills off the World Wide Web (in URLs)

Adam 1
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don't go there Google. it's turtles all the way down

A user agent filter with a 302 redirect to www.www.example.com.

Then bind these to the same site.

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How to nab a HTTPS cert for a stranger's website: Step one, shatter those DNS queries...

Adam 1
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Re: Paranoid AF

How secure are we? Our key space is 374144419156711147060143317175368453031918731001856 times larger than that 88 bit key.

Also worth noting that enigma wasn't cracked by manually brute forcing on the 309485009821345068724781056 possible keys. At 100 billion guesses per second, this would take on average ~50 million years to search.

Rather they used some systemic weaknesses like how it wasn't possible for a character to encipher to itself, pattern analysis to guess how many teeth were on the cogs, tricking the originator into resending the same message with multiple keys, stealing codebooks when the opportunity arose, and automating the scanning of that substantially reduced possible key surface. The weakest link of course was and still is the meat sack not following process.

If I was $EvilGovernment$, I wouldn't even bother attacking AES directly. It doesn't have those weaknesses inherent to enigma. Much easier task to compromise the random number generator so that keys are poorly chosen, or even easier would be to exploit vulnerabilities in the system holding the keys, or trick those systems into revealing their key to an imposter.

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Benchmark smartphone drama: We wouldn't call it cheating, says Huawei, but look, everyone's at it

Adam 1
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Re: VW

So why the down votes? Peer reviewed journals use too many big words for you? Or have you got some paper showing how a fake CPU mark score is causing deaths? Both are wrong, but your moral compass is pretty screwed up if you can't understand why one is not a few orders of magnitude worse.

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Adam 1
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Re: How did they ever think they'd get Huawei with it!?

Where would the Honor be in that?

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Adam 1
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Re: VW

> So it's like the VW thing which they all probably do anyway.

Yes, except I doubt that the synthetic benchmark faking will lead to thousands of deaths p.a.

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Archive.org's Wayback Machine is legit legal evidence, US appeals court judges rule

Adam 1
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finally a proper use case for Blockchain

Having a distributed ledger that proves that the hash of the archived page has not been modified since collection could certainly add such trust. Of course it can only prove that WBM faithfully kept a copy of the same thing that was delivered to them originally. It cannot prove whether or not:

* WBM was served a custom version of the page different to what another visitor would see

* Whether any doctoring occurred between what was served and when that block was added to the chain

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