* Posts by monkeyfish

513 publicly visible posts • joined 19 Apr 2012

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In defence of defenestration: Microsoft MUST hurl Gates from the Windows

monkeyfish

Just like IBM @ Wesley Parish

Err... You do know that IBM still exist don't you? Pretty sure they're doing reasonably well too. They might have missed a few boats, but they did sort themselves out eventually. Actually, the comparison with MS might well be a good one.

monkeyfish

Re: Always a PC @ MJI

Quite. The ribbon would have been just fine if MS had given us the option of turning it off. New users for those that didn't care would have used it, maybe even the old die-hard would start to use it if it wasn't a hated non-option. Same with TAFKAM, have it there by default but let us turn off and it would have been fine. I'd have probably bought win8 for my ageing XP laptop instead of trying linux. Ho-hum. As someone else said earlier, why do they always have to trash the old way just because they've come up with a new way?

OUCH: Google preps ad goo injection for Android mobile Gmail app

monkeyfish

Ermm...Google don't charge for Android. That's the point. The manufacturers only have to pay for patent licensing for all the stuff Google ripped-off from other companies.

No money is received directly by Google when you buy an Android handset.

Ermm... No. Google charge for access to certain apps. What now? Ah yes, access to apps such as Gmail, Maps, Playstore etc. So, in fact, you do pay for the Gmail app already. If that's not enough to sustain their business, then maybe they should charge more for it? It's their business model after all, and they already push you to google search (obviously), which does indeed serve you adverts.

monkeyfish

Seems a bit off to me. I realise there needs to be adverts for gmail in a browser, because you haven't paid for the service. But if your using gmail on android then you have paid for the service, it was included in the cost of the handset when you bought it... Also, the cost of an email app with no ads is between £1 and £2, are they going to charge that for a no-ads version? Because I'm pretty sure your phones google licence cost more than that already, if they're not making enough from android sales maybe they should charge more for it in the first place.

Hey, out-of-work BlackBerry bods: How about a job at Motorola?

monkeyfish

Re: Not only in Waterloo

Except that the core underbelly of windows has been getting consistanly faster and more stable in each release since vista (I realise vista was a dog, but they actually fixed it and made 8 about as fast as XP on the same hardware). It's not the fault of the engineers and coders that some **** of a CEO wants a giant eye sore of garish colours for a start menu, is it?

Blighty's great digital radio switchover targets missed AGAIN

monkeyfish

Re: per cent

As we've done it approximately 64,800 times before in virtually every article that discusses a percentage, no.

Ha, wow, slapdown. Have an upvote, I guess. Told me.

monkeyfish

Re: per cent

House style. Tis the same across the entire Register.

First time I've noticed it. Maybe most articles only use it once or twice so it slipped under the radar. Any chance of changing the house style when writing articles that consist of lots lots of them?

monkeyfish

per cent

Fifty-nine per cent of listeners said they have no need to acquire a DAB set, and 39 per cent are happy with what they've got.

What the hells wrong with using the % symbol for 'per cent', and wring the occasional numbers out? Have you purposefully tried to make it harder to read, or did you have to do it to increase the word count?

15% of Americans still holding off from this newfangled interweb thing

monkeyfish

Re: It's all to hard for some people

It might actually be worth trying them with an easier version of linux, esp the ones with the ancient windows boxes. Once the system is up and running, and you've shown them the process of installing from the package manager, it should last longer before needing a service. That said, you will have to pick a version for them, and install it, and check it works with all the hardware so they aren't faced with a non-operational wifi card (or similar) from the outset.

monkeyfish

My Mum falls into the 'using it by proxy, but not actually using it' category. We've tried to get her online, but why would she? She's already living in the future. She has a completely voice controlled operating system that will print emails, show her facebook, buy tickets for shows, in fact it'll do almost anything computer related without her ever having to actually sit in front of one. He's called my Dad.

British Gas robo home remote gets itself into hot water

monkeyfish

Re: Not needed

What system is that? Link please.

Google tentacle slips over YouTube comments: Now YOUR MUM is at the top

monkeyfish

Re: Google+ ?

Neither do they heavily coerce all purchasers of their phones to "upgrade" to G+ on set-up or insist on it in order to leave feedback on apps and such. Oh wait.

iOS 7 SPANKS Samsung's Android in user-experience rating

monkeyfish

Re: Why oh why?

moving from Samsung to LG wouldn't be left figuring out a new experience

Because they want to make it easier for you to buy another phone from them than buy one of someone else?

Updates would be pushed out to phones faster

Because they want you to buy a new phone. If your old phone did everything you wanted it to you would buy a new one, would you?

monkeyfish

Re: I use both extensively

full of crap is a perfectly good reason not to like Android. It's not Androids fault of course, just like it isn't with Windows. But the OEMs do like to fill these things up with the an insurmountable pile of steaming manure. If you could just delete it all with out the thing balking it would be fine, but alas, this is the Achilles Heel of Android.

monkeyfish

Re: Horseshit indeed.

Ah remotes. The worst I've ever had is that of my current panasonic TV. About half of the buttons are to control a panasonic PVR I don't own, then there are the ones for the picture view SD card I don't use. But that's not as bad as the settings reset button. That's right. You know all the settings you painstakingly set up so the colours were good but not garish and the sound was reasonably bassy but not distorting? Well my TV has a single button that resets all that. Does it ask you if you meant to press it? No. Is it recessed to prevent accidental operation? No. Is it right next to the AV button used to frequently change input device? Yes. One day I'll just gouge/glue that bastard right out of the interface, but I've trained myself not to press it now.

/rant

OTOH I have a roku with an excellent remote. Hardly any buttons and a well designed ui.

I, for one, welcome our robotic communist jobless future

monkeyfish

Re: Deja vu

we aren't all going to be able to live in a huge mansion on Malibu beach

Unless we all live in same huge mansion on Malibu beach! See you by the pool.

BlackBerry Messenger to launch on Android, iOS this weekend

monkeyfish

I'd also like the same from social networks, so I can talk to facebook people without actually having to have a facebook account.

Open source Android fork Cyanogen becomes $7m company

monkeyfish

Won't connect to play store?

Hold on, are you saying that (as they don't currently have permission) you can download an app from the play store to install a custom ROM on your phone that will then be blocked from downloading anything else from the play store? Plus your phone will be out of warranty for using it?

They had better make that pretty clear when your downloading it.

(the old way of installing would make it pretty obvious your doing something that is out of warranty and isn't supported by Google, but a play store app could literately be used by anyone.

Official crackdown on Apple fanboi 'shanty town' ahead of London iPhone launch

monkeyfish

Re: no queues on-line

hot and cold running coffee and biscuits.

There's something wrong with your biscuits.

THE TRUTH about beaver arse milk in your cakes: There's nothing vanilla about vanilla

monkeyfish

Re: Come on

234/45.ARS3/Y0R-UP/342-2

An arse directive on hamster toilet roll? fhur-fhur.

Life … moves … in … slow … motion … for … little … critters … like … flies

monkeyfish

Re: Kids are faster

I would agree with most of your sentiment, but I would also postulate that being an adult you have built up muscle memory, so if you start to stumble you correct for it without actually thinking about it. That and I suspect the kids are charging about at full speed, so are more likely to stumble, whereas old gits tend to shuffle about the place as slowly as they can get away with, and would prefer not to get up off the sofa at this precise moment in time if it's all the same to you, thanks.

City of Munich throws Ubuntu lifeline to Windows XP holdouts

monkeyfish

Re: Nice idea, but...

Laymen don't understand how a dentist drill works. Not because they can't, but because they lack interest. It's the same for other machines. So while I applaud anyone's effort to remove the religions, scams, and other waleware from their machines, I cannot recommend that they attempt such a feat as the decline of human intelligence progresses.

Making it easier for the newb just makes it harder in the long run.

Sure, I don't know how to use a dentist drill, but does the dentist understand how to design a power supply for the drill that will operate from the mains voltage and regulate the drill speed? Thought not. The very nature of knowledge is that that you can't know all of it. Some people like to spend their free time fiddling with computers and trying out new distros. Other people just want a computer that works so that they can get on with something else.

monkeyfish

Re: Nice idea, but...

I just put mint on an older xp laptop, the first time I've ever used any version of linux after 20+ years of windows. The main problems with linux are:

1) As the op said, the fact that there are countless different versions of it. Ask for an opinion of which one to install and you'll get as many different answers as there are versions. In the end I just guessed at mint, as it looked pretty similar to xp, but even then there were 4 different current versions to guess from.

2) You're on your own. The wifi card didn't work and although I could find forum references to this problem the solutions involved some sort of terminal or tar ball which might as well have been written in latin for all I understood it. You can't just download the drivers from the manufacturer as it is an unsupported OS. I bought a small wifi dongle to get around the problem but that didn't work either, in fact it didn't even seem to recognise that I had plugged it in. I went to un-install the whole thing on sat only to find the built in wifi works now. I have no idea why it now works when it didn't previously and no idea what to do if it stops. Now working it works well and I quite like it. But you're on your own.

Massively leaked iFail 5S POUNDS pundits, EXCITES chavs

monkeyfish

Sadly no. You could not rotate the screen to portrait.

aww, I always thought they did. Must have just dreamt it.

monkeyfish

I liked the iMac angle-poise lamp*. Much better looking than any computer that came before or after. Looked like it belonged in a space ship, plus you could turn the monitor around to see stuff in portrait. The fat monitor that came after was ugly.

*Couldn't afford one at the time tho.

First rigid airship since the Hindenburg cleared for outdoor flight trials

monkeyfish

Re: Here's a thought

You could do that with a small blimp (as google are doing in Africa), you don't need a 250 ton payload airship for wifi.

monkeyfish

Re: Megairbus?

Summer music festivals

Yes. Yes please. On the airship. Yes.

monkeyfish

Re: Paint it green

Sure, but maybe you could take the airship and strap a couple of hypersonic jet engines to it? Thunderbird 2 will be left for dust!

monkeyfish

Re: Rigid Airships have a place

I was thinking that, if it was made plush enough it could be an alternative to a cruse ship, albeit one I would actually like to travel on*. Plenty of places an airship could go that a cruse ship can't.

*You could make the interior styling that of the 1930's, rather than plastic tat, and specify that the crew wear monocles and such. Give every passenger a pipe and smoking jacket on boarding, I say. What what?

Apple quietly revives iPhone charging and syncing docks

monkeyfish

Re: Only Apple

No, it just wont fit. The top one has square corners at the back, presumably for the 5S, and the bottom one has rounded corners for the 5C. Quite why they couldn't make it fit both I have no idea.

Microsoft does a U-turn, releases Windows 8.1 to developers early after all

monkeyfish

Re: Scary and unbelievable

The future is touch and gesture, and Microsoft are ahead of the curve!

So far, I think there have been 29 failed irony detectors. Have an upvote.

Smartwatch news: Sleek-but-vaporous timepiece promised by... NISSAN?

monkeyfish

Re: Road Safety

Or here's an idea, why not just put all the driving information you need right in front of you in the car itself! Some sort of board that lies directly below your normal field of vision, an information dash if you will? Can't wait for this sort of future tech to take off!!!!

Don't tell the D-G! BBC-funded study says Beeb is 'too right wing'

monkeyfish

Re: Wrong question

That's because the people in the middle either have no sound-bite-able position, or don't care about the argument. Take any coverage of the evils of WINTER SNOW or SUMMER HEAT. Most people they try to interview on the street don't give them the sensational opinions they were looking for.

Smartwatch craze is all just ONE OFF THE WRIST

monkeyfish

Re: I remember watches - @Denarius

Your point was? I've got a modern digital/analog hybrid that is powered by sunlight, glows in the dark, is waterproof to 100 meters and resets its self from the European radio atomic time base overnight. It's over 5 years old and has never needed servicing.

People get what they are prepared to pay for, not what technology is able to provide.

Actually that sounds like a fairly cheap casio, whereas a very expensive rolex may only tell the time and nothing else. Price has nothing to do with features.

New! Yahoo! logo! shows! Marissa! Meyer's! personal! touch!

monkeyfish

Re: Headline

But! surely! all! the! exclamation! marks! now! need! to! be! in! italics!

New online banking Trojan empties users' wallets, videos privates

monkeyfish

Wait? What!

You mean I shouldn't trust every message that come in to my inbox and click OK to every lttle thing that wants to install itself?! So that's why I can't see the internet for all the lovely toolbars I've got running.

Move along.

Forget Mars: Let's get someone on the Moon – NASA veteran

monkeyfish

Re: Great idea!

or..

E) Fire a rocket at the moon to change it's trajectory to one more favourable to power generation! I'm sure it wont have any other side effects.

monkeyfish

Re: So, how does that work then?

A giant stick with the moon on the other end, I've always wanted one of those.

Give us a break: Next Android version to be called 'KitKat'

monkeyfish

"to make an amazing Android experience available for everybody"

Does that mean it will automatically update itself over all previous versions of Android so that manufacturer abandoned phones actually receive it?

Thought not.

monkeyfish

Re: "They should've named the next version of Android after Kendal Mint Cake"

Ahh the Kendal Ming Cake, appropriate emergency food as you would only choose to eat it in an emergency.

Microsoft's Nokia plan: WHACK APPLE AND GOOGLE

monkeyfish

Re: RIP Nokia

Nokia shareholders can still reject the deal. Yahoo rejected a Microsoft takeover remember.

Yeah, and that worked out really well for Yahoo!, didn't it?

Microsoft buys Nokia's mobile business

monkeyfish

This news makes me sad.

That is all.

monkeyfish

Re: Commitment. NOT.

Except that Microsoft didn't buy the patents, yet.

There, fixed it for you. They're just waiting for the price to come down a bit more.

Lenovo to ship all new PCs with Start Menu replacement

monkeyfish

"in the next several weeks,"

Am I the only one that get really annoyed by this phase? 'In coming weeks' would be ok, so would 'in following weeks', and 'in several weeks' or even 'in the next week or so'. But 'in the next several weeks' is like running your fingernails down a black-board.

Bradley Manning is no more. 'Call me Chelsea,' she says

monkeyfish

Re: "stop giving the other inmates ammunition for making my life shittier."

It is full of blokes, both sides of the wire, who follow rules and obey orders. It's kind of like being in the army.

Surely they didn't always follow the rules and obey orders, otherwise they wouldn't be in prison?

Four ways the Guardian could have protected Snowden – by THE NSA

monkeyfish

Re: How about strapping a micro-SD card to a homing pigeon's leg?

If you used seagulls maybe the government would start a counter strike campaign to cull them all. That's one way to get rid of the buggers!

monkeyfish

Aren't micro SD cards waterproof? You could see if they survive the digestive system...

UK mulls ban on tiny mobiles to block prison smugglers

monkeyfish

Is this a UK or US based article?

Apparently in the UK these tiny mobes are causing some concern, but the reason for this is partly because a 15 minute call costs $17 from some US prison payphones, and that's a lot of laundry duty.

So how much does it cost from a UK prison? Not as much as that I'll wager.

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