* Posts by FlossyThePig

206 posts • joined 5 Apr 2012


Oz auditor: Number of times failed government biometric project met a milestone = None


Is this a case of "Look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves."

Are you sure your disc drive has stopped rotating, or are you just ignoring the messages?


Re: Error messages

Many years ago I was part of a team testing software that used some very complex mathematics to produce the results. A number of PHd mathematicians were involved in the development. Everything was going well until an undocumented error message was displayed which was something like:

"The data is not monotonically increasing"

100% accurate but also 100% useless in the real world (unless you are PHd mathematician).

P.S. All I need now is to find that "monotonically increasing" has been included in the latest GCSE Maths syllabus.

EDGAR Wrong: Ukrainians hacked SEC, stole docs for inside trading, says Uncle Sam


Follow the "sued by the SEC (PDF)" link. They are listed there but most are not in the USA.

Poland may consider Huawei ban amid 'spy' arrests – reports


Cynical, moi!

Are all these stories about Huawei really put about because their systems are too secure and various government agencies can’t hack into them.

Thought Macbooks were expensive? Dell UK unveils the 7 meeeellion pound laptop


Chassis option

Change the chassis option and save £6,999,691.99

London Gatwick Airport reopens but drone chaos perps still not found


Just a thought

Do the people who fly more traditional RC aircraft (plane and helicopter models) now call them drones or is it a term only used by media types when referring to quadcopters and similar flying devices.

Of course military "drones" are in a different league and can do serious physical damage.

Not a price cut! Apple perks up soggy iPhone demand with rebate boost


Re: Who needs analysts?

Apple pencil was £89 now £119

Apple Pencil (2nd generation) for iPad Pro 12.9‑inch (3rd generation) and iPad Pro 11‑inch - £119

Apple Pencil for iPad Pro 12.9‑inch (1st and 2nd generations), iPad Pro 10.5-inch, iPad Pro 9.7‑inch and iPad (6th generation) - still £89

Logitech Crayon for iPad (6th Gen.) - £59.95 (from Apple)

Shocker: UK smart meter rollout is crap, late and £500m over budget


Re: Smart meters do not save energy

...remotely disconnect your supply...

What a load of FUD.

The regulations, in the UK, regarding disconnection that apply to dumb meters applies to "smart" meters as well. There are a number of hoops to jump through before disconnection. Finally, somebody has to physically disconnect at the property to ensure, for example, there is no life saving medical equipment is installed.

Where to implant my employee microchip? I have the ideal location


Re: As someone who currently designs chip-enabled cat interface devices...

Our cat flap only uses the RFID tag to allow entry. On the rare occasions when kitty has to stay in (e.g. trip to the vet) there is a physical latch to disable free exit.

I believe you can get a cat flap that is app enabled, so you can control it by your phone, WTF. Are we getting a generation who can only do things via their phone?

Icon because it's nearest to kitty.

My hoard of obsolete hardware might be useful… one day


I've not pushing up daisies yet but I did amass a large collection (1000+) of kit car magazines over the years. Without going into detail they had to go. After investigating various methods of disposal I emailed the editor of a kit car magazine that was relatively new to the market. he took the lot and gave me a 5 year subscription to his mag.

P.S. Around my way there is a charity TWAM (Tools With A Mission) which collects old tools, refurbishes them and then ships them to third world African countries. They even take old computer hardware now.

This revolution will not be televised – but it will be sanctioned: Googlers walk out over 'sex pest' executive scandals


Re: Which is worse?

In the late '70s a department in the office I worked had a "prick of the week" award. The trophy was usually displayed on the recipent's desk for the week. Anybody could win the award regardless of gender and seniority.

The trophy was cylindrical and stood vertically. Could we have an award like that today?

iPhone XR guts reveal sizzle of the XS without the excessive price tag


Is it just me?

Whenever I see iPhone X I read it as "X" rather than "10". Now we have the iPhone "excess". Are they 'aving a larf?

Linguists, update your resumes because Baidu thinks it has cracked fast AI translation


Lost in translation?

I remember hearing on the radio an interview with an English/Russian interpreter. During a meeting between an American president and his Russian counterpart, he used the expression “not buying pig in a poke”. This was translated into the Russian equivalent “not buying cat in a bag”. The Russian president replied by talking about cats.

I can’t remember how the interpreter solved the problem but it would be interesting to get AI to solve it, assuming it had an understanding of idiomatic phrases.

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave me tea... pigs-in-blankets-flavoured tea


Re: Christmas is essentially Page 71 of the Brand New Monty Python Bok

What about the "12 Days of Christmas". You know the period AFTER Christmas ending on January 6th.

Don't worry El reg and others will get it wrong yet again.

Hey you know what the smart-home world really needs right now? Yup, Google screaming in


BT Home Hub

Has BT commented on the name "Home Hub" yet? They still provide HH4 for new ADSL connections.

From what I have heard about thier latest incarnation "Smart Hub" I think smart refers to a sharp pain rather than something clever.

UK space comes to an 'understanding' with Australia as Brexit looms


Re: Inconvenient Truths

1. this could of happened before Brexit

"have" not "of" boy! If you are smart and understand apostrophes there is the option "could've".

Microsoft gets ready to kill Skype Classic once again: 'This time we mean it'


Panasonic TV

I used to Use the built in Skype app on a Panasonic TV with attached Panasonic USB camera to chat with our yougest in New Zealand, who had a similar Panasonic setup. Once, for some reason (which I can't remember) he used Facetime to talk to SWMBO on her iPad.

I was looking for a new PC at the time, so I blew my budget and bought an iMac and I haven't used Skype since.

Oi, you. Equifax. Cough up half a million quid for fumbling 15 million Brits' personal info to hackers


Re: 30 quid per victim?

...it's thruppence...

Isn't that a term from pre-decimal currency, when thruppence was a quarter of a bob.

I can remember just before "D" (decimal) day a pint in the local cost 1/9. That should have become 9p after "D" day but it became 9.5p.

(Where's the Boring Old Fart icon)

Milton Keynes: Come for roundabouts, stay for near-gigabit broadband


Re: Openreach

but do we need 1Gbps to every home

Who can tell. Remember previous predictions (either true or false).

- The world will only need 4 computers,

- 640k will be enough!

Heart-stopping predictions from AI doctors could save lives


Re: Heart age

There used to be large whisky bottles attached to optics in pubs. I don't know what size they were but Jeroboam seems like a good starting point.

Wine can come in much larger bottles but if you can't pour it easily it's probably too big (Methuselah - 6 litres, and that's not the largest).

Hundred-million Kiwi Oracle project on hold after Deloitte review


Re: Are all government health IT projects doomed to fail ?

It's not confined to government health IT projects. My second Rule of Computing states:

Any large scale public sector development will exceed the initial budget by a factor of x* times and will be late.

* - choose any number but you may underestimate the value.

To save you asking, there are currently only 2 rules, the first is

If the project is High Profile, has "challenging" timescales and uses something new (hardware or software) it will fail.

It may be poor man's Photoshop, but GIMP casts a Long Shadow with latest update


Re: Forget the geeky stuff, sort out the user experience.

Why does everything have to be an effing "experience" these days. If it's not an "experience" it's a "journey".

Beam me up, PM: Digital secretary expected to give Tory conference speech as hologram


Oh no!

@Andy Mac

is it time for Paris to be replaced by a Kar****ian?

How big will the icon have to be to get a Kar****ian arse in?

Criminals a bit less interested in nicking Brits' identities this year


1H17 - 1H18

@ Waseem Alkurdi

It's just lazy writing. 1H17 = first half of 2017. The report actually uses "Jan-June 2017"

I had to search to find out that CIFAS was originally the Credit Industry Fraud Avoidance System. We all knew that didn't we?

Boffins build a NAZI AI – wait, let's check that... OK, it's a grammar nazi


Re: The problem


how about teaching children how to do this properly at school, rather than filling their heads with trendy nonsense like phonetics to teach spelling.

In the '50s I learned to read using phonics. Since then trendy methods have come and gone and we are back to using phonics that was used to teach my grandchildren how to read. You do learn the differences in spelling words like "F"arming and "PH"onetics (how do you spell "ff").

I had a colleague a few years ago who was (mis)taught to read using the Initial Teaching Alphabet. He admitted that even in his forties he had difficulty reading.

Psst, says Qualcomm... Kid, you wanna see what a 5G antenna looks like?


How big?

Top left is the 5G transceiver module, a Snapdragon X50 chip, and coin for comparison

Sorry but how big is that foreign coin? is it the same as a 1p, 2p, 5p, 10p, £2 or perhaps a €0.01?

Brit watchdog fines child sex abuse inquiry £200k over mass email blunder



OK, how many here have had training on any part of the MS Office suite.

How many mouse clicks does it take to add BCC to an email?

In my experience most companies seem to expect staff to know how to use the main MS Office tools so don't provide training. It doesn't surprise me when someone (at any level) makes a blunder which can have serious repercussions.

Official: The shape of the smartphone is changing forever


Vertical Video

So moving to either 18:9 or 18+:9 from 16:9 will the videos occupy an even thinner vertical stripe when shown on TV news programmes?

P.S. Don't get me started on the blurred enlargement the broadcaster insist on displaying behind the stripe.

Infrastructure wonks: Tear up Britain's copper phone networks by 2025


Re: Every Telephone Pole Resembled The Mess Associated With Wire Frames

@ Doctor Syntax

...dig up every drive and garden...

In a previous property we had extensive building work carried out, including a laying new drive. British Gas (as it was then) could only connect us after all the work was completed. They used some form of burrowing tool to get the new gas pipe from the main one in the road to the side of the house where the meter was to be installed. There was no damage to my nice new drive.

UK.gov IT projects that are failing: Verify. Border control. 4G for blue-light services. We can go on


Smart? Meters

Ah! Smart Meters communicate using 2G.

Mine's the one that is SMETS2, if it works with V2G (Vehicle to Grid).

Micro Focus offloads Linux-wrangler SUSE for a cool $2.5bn


Re: Cut-and-shut

I remember a cartoon in a car magazine (Practical Classics?) where the front half of a VW Beetle had been attached to the rear half of a Morris Minor.

Giffgaff admits to billing faff, actually tells folk to turn it off and on again


Re: Oy

Another old kid here and GG suits me as I rarely make calls on my phone. Occasional text message and receive calls. Wifi used for all things data. My balance is automatically topped up by £10 when balance drops below £3 (top up restricted to 3 times a month so not a major problem if phone nicked). No need for Goody Bags from GG but I remember buying real ones when I was a nipper.

Meet the Frenchman masterminding a Google-free Android


Here WeGo

@Dan 55

...and pops up up GDPR questions...

As Here is majority-owned by a consortium of German automotive companies they should be well aware of all things GDPR.

P.S. "Here Maps" has been rebranded as "Here WeGo".

Tech firms, come to Blighty! Everything is brill! Brexit schmexit, Galileo schmalileo


Re: Its the Will of the People!!

by 1.89% - Where did that figure come from?

...and nearly 28% of the electorate didn't even vote...

Un-bee-lievable: Two million Swedish bugs stolen in huge sting


Whatever happened to...

Eric the Half a Bee?

UK chancellor puts finger in air, promises 15 million full fibre connections by 2025



...my upload speed is just 5.5Megabits/second :-(

...and I thought my FTTC of 7.9Mb was poor.

Can you handle the tooth? AI helps dentists design fake gnashers


Re: I'm confused.

My dentist constructed one of my premolars in situ. He didn't need AI, just years of dental knowledge.

Boffins: Michael Jackson's tilt was a criminally smooth trick


c.f. Little Titch, and his ever-popular "Big Boot Dance"?

You beat to it.

MJ didn't pick his hat up like Little Titch.

Tesla inches toward GPL compliance in low gear: Source code forcibly ejected into public


Re: That'll scare them off

...in their ICE applications...

As the article relates to an Electric Vehicle (EV) does ICE refer to Internal Combustion Engine or In Car Entertainment?

Boffins bash out bonkers boost for batteries


Re: Bo-Larks

...someone has worked out how to make their arse talk...

I think politicians worked that out before Noah floated by*.

* thanks to my old chemistry teacher for the Noah expression of time.

Courting disaster: Watchdog slams UK justice digitisation plans


Re: Meh! What's new?

One problem with large goverment IT projects is the length of the project . This means the MP in charge (not necessarily a Minister) will change a number of times causing a lack/change of direction, with the knock on of increased cost and timescales..

Windows app makers told to think different – you're Microsoft 365 developers, now


Why oh why...

this is called a solution, or for a more social framing, an experience

...does everything have to be a solution or an experience?

I suppose it could be due to marketing types not being able to define the problem and therefore come up with a solution to have a good (or bad) experience.

In the old days I can remember a thing called usability but now it seems to be UX (User Experience).

Apple grounds AirPort once and for all. It has departed. Not gonna fly any more. The baggage is dropped off...


Re: One of their best products.

@Alex Coward 1 Apples wireless keyboard also works as a wired keyboard.

There is nowhere to plug a cable into my iMac keyboard. Perhaps you can tell me how to do it.

How 'parasitic' Google's 'We're journalists!' court defence was stamped into oblivion


Re: Iron

I still see Google as essentially a phone book, with people arguing that their numbers should be removed and tearing pages out.

I didn't tear the page out, just went ex-directory.

Civil war erupts at top of FCC over Sinclair's creepy grasp on US telly


Not Sir Clive then!

Oh silly me. I saw Sinclair in the headline and thought "What is Clive doing now?", but it's some trouble in Trumptonshire.

P.S. I hear there are plans to remake Worzel Gummidge, I wonder who could play the part.

A developer always pays their technical debts – oh, every penny... but never a groat more


Re: CEO jobs are on the line...

Perhaps the board should begin to accept that the board should not be full of people who don't understand the company

I'm getting old now. When I started in the business, called "Data Processing" then, there was an effort to get someone with DP knowledge on the Board. I believe this was reasonably successful. Unfortunately they have all now retired and have been replaced with accountants, bankers or other non-technical bods.

Details of 600,000 foreign visitors to UK go up in smoke thanks to shonky border database


Re: What's the problem?

Negotiations for the Canada - EU trade deal began in 2009 but they started talking about it in 2004. Negotiations were concluded in 2014.

If you expect Brexit negotiations to be concluded in one year (or even three) you must be living in Farage land.

They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time*

*Napoleon XIV

Google lobbies hard to derail new US privacy laws – using dodgy stats



These days I try to use Google and their other products as little as possible.

For untracked searching I used to use DuckDuckGo but that seems to use Bing these days so I now use StartPage which piggy backs off Google (without tracking, apparently).

Unfortunately the only platform that various Electric Vehicle videos I watch is YouTube as they use the income from Google to pay for production.


Re: Time for transparency

@AC Manufacturers do not need to pay Google anything for using Android on their phones.

Microsoft does get paid for each copy installed though, for licencing fees (last I heard it was about $5).

Software gremlin robs Formula 1 world champ of season's first win


Re: Follows old adage...

The BT46, designed by Gordon Murray, was not banned. He proved that the majority of the fan use was to provide cooling. It was dropped after one race, which it won, because it wasn't suitable for all the circuits of the time which meant a completely different car would have to be designed and built.

The other race car with a fan was the Chapparal 2J which was banned after 1 unsuccessful season. It was faster than other cars but very unreliable.


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