* Posts by FlossyThePig

219 posts • joined 5 Apr 2012


'It's full of beer!' Miracle fridge reveals itself to pals tuckered out from cleaning flooded cabin


Re: Beer Gods must have a sense of humor

I never put real beer in a fridge.

What made a super high-tech home in Victorian England? Hydroelectric witchery, for starters


Re: Acceptable?

That thought process went a bit titsup in 1914

(Total Inability To Survive Unforseen Prussians)

It was those pesky Prussians who did the same to Napoleon 100 years earlier.

Silent Merc, holy e-car... Mflllwhmmmp! What is that terrible sound?


A few years ago a, while walking along a quiet street, a BMW 5 series followed by an EV not a car (G-Whizz) passed me. They both made about the same amount of noise, yes, it was due to the tyres.

UK's beloved RNGesus machine ERNIE goes quantum in 5th iteration


Does not compute

...420 million prizes, worth £19.1m, handed out since the scheme was launched in 1957...

Considering there are two £1m prizes each month (boo hoo I haven't won it again) I think the total value of prizes handed out is a little bit bigger.

'They took away our Cup-a-Soup!' Share your tales of bleak breakout areas with us


Re: unintended consequence

I remember reading "Odyssey: Pepsi to Apple" by John Scully when, after moving to Apple he discovered a non-corporate world way of working. One detail, was white boards on the wall next to coffee machines. People from different areas could discuss, and potentially solve, technical issues, making notes on the boards.

Go, go, Gadgets Boy! 'Influencer' testing 5G for Vodafone finds it to be slower than 4G


Re: 5G vs 4G

Just curious what contract you are on as I cannot find any Vodafone mobile contract that specifies speed.

What has an 'open-door policy' with industry and puts the X into NHS? Brits, let app-happy Matt Hancock tell you



As I see it there are two major problems with the NHS

- Too many "mini-fiefdoms" doing their own thing

- Politicians sticking their noses in

It's a bit like using polyfilla* to repair pot holes

* Spackling paste for those from the land of the orange panda.

How do you solve a problem like Galileo? With a strap-on L-band payload, of course!


Re: Hirzon angles??

...only 3 satellites to cover the whole globe...

Somebody told them about Arthur C Clarke's 1945 proposal for geostationary satellite communications.

Why does that website take forever to load? Clues: Three syllables, starts with a J, rhymes with crock of sh...


What ever happened to ...

...the old adage that if the page hadn't loaded within a couple of seconds you would lose the viewer?

Only plebs use Office 2019 over Office 365, says Microsoft's weird new ad campaign


Re: Nothing like having your work day extended a few more hours

Both Office 2019 and Office 365 can be loaded locally.

Wearing my hat as family IT specialist I have my grand-daughters laptop which requires the latest version of Office 365 installed. It's a free download for students and teachers at schools and colleges, providing the establishment has signed up for the deal.

Hey, UK.gov: If you truly spunked £45k on 1,300 Brexit deal print-outs, you're absolute mugs


Re: Paper...

why are we going ahead with this crappy Brexit anyway?

It's "the will of the people"*, which is the shovel that the two major parties have used to dig the big hole they are both in.

*That'll be 38% of the electorate.

Thanks for all those data-flow warnings, UK.gov. Now let's talk about your own Brexit prep. Yep, just as we thought


Re: So, at what time on Friday 29th March 2019...

Don’t they need an Aco of Parliament for that?

Apple yoinks enterprise certs from Facebook, Google, killing internal apps, to show its power

IT Angle

Root Canal

What is this obsession people seem to have with root canal treatment?

Over the years I've had some and only one hurt, and I mean HURT.

It was about 50 years ago and I had an abscess in upper right 2. The dentist could not get the local anesthetic to work, so dental nurse and receptionist held me down while he drilled away. No more details required here.

Subsequent dentists have had no problem getting the local anesthetic to work for any treatment (hint: If your dentist needs to inject into the roof of your mouth get an anesthetic gel applied first).

Oz auditor: Number of times failed government biometric project met a milestone = None


Is this a case of "Look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves."

Are you sure your disc drive has stopped rotating, or are you just ignoring the messages?


Re: Error messages

Many years ago I was part of a team testing software that used some very complex mathematics to produce the results. A number of PHd mathematicians were involved in the development. Everything was going well until an undocumented error message was displayed which was something like:

"The data is not monotonically increasing"

100% accurate but also 100% useless in the real world (unless you are PHd mathematician).

P.S. All I need now is to find that "monotonically increasing" has been included in the latest GCSE Maths syllabus.

EDGAR Wrong: Ukrainians hacked SEC, stole docs for inside trading, says Uncle Sam


Follow the "sued by the SEC (PDF)" link. They are listed there but most are not in the USA.

Poland may consider Huawei ban amid 'spy' arrests – reports


Cynical, moi!

Are all these stories about Huawei really put about because their systems are too secure and various government agencies can’t hack into them.

Thought Macbooks were expensive? Dell UK unveils the 7 meeeellion pound laptop


Chassis option

Change the chassis option and save £6,999,691.99

London Gatwick Airport reopens but drone chaos perps still not found


Just a thought

Do the people who fly more traditional RC aircraft (plane and helicopter models) now call them drones or is it a term only used by media types when referring to quadcopters and similar flying devices.

Of course military "drones" are in a different league and can do serious physical damage.

Not a price cut! Apple perks up soggy iPhone demand with rebate boost


Re: Who needs analysts?

Apple pencil was £89 now £119

Apple Pencil (2nd generation) for iPad Pro 12.9‑inch (3rd generation) and iPad Pro 11‑inch - £119

Apple Pencil for iPad Pro 12.9‑inch (1st and 2nd generations), iPad Pro 10.5-inch, iPad Pro 9.7‑inch and iPad (6th generation) - still £89

Logitech Crayon for iPad (6th Gen.) - £59.95 (from Apple)

Shocker: UK smart meter rollout is crap, late and £500m over budget


Re: Smart meters do not save energy

...remotely disconnect your supply...

What a load of FUD.

The regulations, in the UK, regarding disconnection that apply to dumb meters applies to "smart" meters as well. There are a number of hoops to jump through before disconnection. Finally, somebody has to physically disconnect at the property to ensure, for example, there is no life saving medical equipment is installed.

Where to implant my employee microchip? I have the ideal location


Re: As someone who currently designs chip-enabled cat interface devices...

Our cat flap only uses the RFID tag to allow entry. On the rare occasions when kitty has to stay in (e.g. trip to the vet) there is a physical latch to disable free exit.

I believe you can get a cat flap that is app enabled, so you can control it by your phone, WTF. Are we getting a generation who can only do things via their phone?

Icon because it's nearest to kitty.

My hoard of obsolete hardware might be useful… one day


I've not pushing up daisies yet but I did amass a large collection (1000+) of kit car magazines over the years. Without going into detail they had to go. After investigating various methods of disposal I emailed the editor of a kit car magazine that was relatively new to the market. he took the lot and gave me a 5 year subscription to his mag.

P.S. Around my way there is a charity TWAM (Tools With A Mission) which collects old tools, refurbishes them and then ships them to third world African countries. They even take old computer hardware now.

This revolution will not be televised – but it will be sanctioned: Googlers walk out over 'sex pest' executive scandals


Re: Which is worse?

In the late '70s a department in the office I worked had a "prick of the week" award. The trophy was usually displayed on the recipent's desk for the week. Anybody could win the award regardless of gender and seniority.

The trophy was cylindrical and stood vertically. Could we have an award like that today?

iPhone XR guts reveal sizzle of the XS without the excessive price tag


Is it just me?

Whenever I see iPhone X I read it as "X" rather than "10". Now we have the iPhone "excess". Are they 'aving a larf?

Linguists, update your resumes because Baidu thinks it has cracked fast AI translation


Lost in translation?

I remember hearing on the radio an interview with an English/Russian interpreter. During a meeting between an American president and his Russian counterpart, he used the expression “not buying pig in a poke”. This was translated into the Russian equivalent “not buying cat in a bag”. The Russian president replied by talking about cats.

I can’t remember how the interpreter solved the problem but it would be interesting to get AI to solve it, assuming it had an understanding of idiomatic phrases.

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave me tea... pigs-in-blankets-flavoured tea


Re: Christmas is essentially Page 71 of the Brand New Monty Python Bok

What about the "12 Days of Christmas". You know the period AFTER Christmas ending on January 6th.

Don't worry El reg and others will get it wrong yet again.

Hey you know what the smart-home world really needs right now? Yup, Google screaming in


BT Home Hub

Has BT commented on the name "Home Hub" yet? They still provide HH4 for new ADSL connections.

From what I have heard about thier latest incarnation "Smart Hub" I think smart refers to a sharp pain rather than something clever.

UK space comes to an 'understanding' with Australia as Brexit looms


Re: Inconvenient Truths

1. this could of happened before Brexit

"have" not "of" boy! If you are smart and understand apostrophes there is the option "could've".

Microsoft gets ready to kill Skype Classic once again: 'This time we mean it'


Panasonic TV

I used to Use the built in Skype app on a Panasonic TV with attached Panasonic USB camera to chat with our yougest in New Zealand, who had a similar Panasonic setup. Once, for some reason (which I can't remember) he used Facetime to talk to SWMBO on her iPad.

I was looking for a new PC at the time, so I blew my budget and bought an iMac and I haven't used Skype since.

Oi, you. Equifax. Cough up half a million quid for fumbling 15 million Brits' personal info to hackers


Re: 30 quid per victim?

...it's thruppence...

Isn't that a term from pre-decimal currency, when thruppence was a quarter of a bob.

I can remember just before "D" (decimal) day a pint in the local cost 1/9. That should have become 9p after "D" day but it became 9.5p.

(Where's the Boring Old Fart icon)

Milton Keynes: Come for roundabouts, stay for near-gigabit broadband


Re: Openreach

but do we need 1Gbps to every home

Who can tell. Remember previous predictions (either true or false).

- The world will only need 4 computers,

- 640k will be enough!

Heart-stopping predictions from AI doctors could save lives


Re: Heart age

There used to be large whisky bottles attached to optics in pubs. I don't know what size they were but Jeroboam seems like a good starting point.

Wine can come in much larger bottles but if you can't pour it easily it's probably too big (Methuselah - 6 litres, and that's not the largest).

Hundred-million Kiwi Oracle project on hold after Deloitte review


Re: Are all government health IT projects doomed to fail ?

It's not confined to government health IT projects. My second Rule of Computing states:

Any large scale public sector development will exceed the initial budget by a factor of x* times and will be late.

* - choose any number but you may underestimate the value.

To save you asking, there are currently only 2 rules, the first is

If the project is High Profile, has "challenging" timescales and uses something new (hardware or software) it will fail.

It may be poor man's Photoshop, but GIMP casts a Long Shadow with latest update


Re: Forget the geeky stuff, sort out the user experience.

Why does everything have to be an effing "experience" these days. If it's not an "experience" it's a "journey".

Beam me up, PM: Digital secretary expected to give Tory conference speech as hologram


Oh no!

@Andy Mac

is it time for Paris to be replaced by a Kar****ian?

How big will the icon have to be to get a Kar****ian arse in?

Criminals a bit less interested in nicking Brits' identities this year


1H17 - 1H18

@ Waseem Alkurdi

It's just lazy writing. 1H17 = first half of 2017. The report actually uses "Jan-June 2017"

I had to search to find out that CIFAS was originally the Credit Industry Fraud Avoidance System. We all knew that didn't we?

Boffins build a NAZI AI – wait, let's check that... OK, it's a grammar nazi


Re: The problem


how about teaching children how to do this properly at school, rather than filling their heads with trendy nonsense like phonetics to teach spelling.

In the '50s I learned to read using phonics. Since then trendy methods have come and gone and we are back to using phonics that was used to teach my grandchildren how to read. You do learn the differences in spelling words like "F"arming and "PH"onetics (how do you spell "ff").

I had a colleague a few years ago who was (mis)taught to read using the Initial Teaching Alphabet. He admitted that even in his forties he had difficulty reading.

Psst, says Qualcomm... Kid, you wanna see what a 5G antenna looks like?


How big?

Top left is the 5G transceiver module, a Snapdragon X50 chip, and coin for comparison

Sorry but how big is that foreign coin? is it the same as a 1p, 2p, 5p, 10p, £2 or perhaps a €0.01?

Brit watchdog fines child sex abuse inquiry £200k over mass email blunder



OK, how many here have had training on any part of the MS Office suite.

How many mouse clicks does it take to add BCC to an email?

In my experience most companies seem to expect staff to know how to use the main MS Office tools so don't provide training. It doesn't surprise me when someone (at any level) makes a blunder which can have serious repercussions.

Official: The shape of the smartphone is changing forever


Vertical Video

So moving to either 18:9 or 18+:9 from 16:9 will the videos occupy an even thinner vertical stripe when shown on TV news programmes?

P.S. Don't get me started on the blurred enlargement the broadcaster insist on displaying behind the stripe.

Infrastructure wonks: Tear up Britain's copper phone networks by 2025


Re: Every Telephone Pole Resembled The Mess Associated With Wire Frames

@ Doctor Syntax

...dig up every drive and garden...

In a previous property we had extensive building work carried out, including a laying new drive. British Gas (as it was then) could only connect us after all the work was completed. They used some form of burrowing tool to get the new gas pipe from the main one in the road to the side of the house where the meter was to be installed. There was no damage to my nice new drive.

UK.gov IT projects that are failing: Verify. Border control. 4G for blue-light services. We can go on


Smart? Meters

Ah! Smart Meters communicate using 2G.

Mine's the one that is SMETS2, if it works with V2G (Vehicle to Grid).

Micro Focus offloads Linux-wrangler SUSE for a cool $2.5bn


Re: Cut-and-shut

I remember a cartoon in a car magazine (Practical Classics?) where the front half of a VW Beetle had been attached to the rear half of a Morris Minor.

Giffgaff admits to billing faff, actually tells folk to turn it off and on again


Re: Oy

Another old kid here and GG suits me as I rarely make calls on my phone. Occasional text message and receive calls. Wifi used for all things data. My balance is automatically topped up by £10 when balance drops below £3 (top up restricted to 3 times a month so not a major problem if phone nicked). No need for Goody Bags from GG but I remember buying real ones when I was a nipper.

Meet the Frenchman masterminding a Google-free Android


Here WeGo

@Dan 55

...and pops up up GDPR questions...

As Here is majority-owned by a consortium of German automotive companies they should be well aware of all things GDPR.

P.S. "Here Maps" has been rebranded as "Here WeGo".

Tech firms, come to Blighty! Everything is brill! Brexit schmexit, Galileo schmalileo


Re: Its the Will of the People!!

by 1.89% - Where did that figure come from?

...and nearly 28% of the electorate didn't even vote...

Un-bee-lievable: Two million Swedish bugs stolen in huge sting


Whatever happened to...

Eric the Half a Bee?

UK chancellor puts finger in air, promises 15 million full fibre connections by 2025



...my upload speed is just 5.5Megabits/second :-(

...and I thought my FTTC of 7.9Mb was poor.

Can you handle the tooth? AI helps dentists design fake gnashers


Re: I'm confused.

My dentist constructed one of my premolars in situ. He didn't need AI, just years of dental knowledge.


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