* Posts by FlossyThePig

198 posts • joined 5 Apr 2012

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Where to implant my employee microchip? I have the ideal location

FlossyThePig
Devil

Re: As someone who currently designs chip-enabled cat interface devices...

Our cat flap only uses the RFID tag to allow entry. On the rare occasions when kitty has to stay in (e.g. trip to the vet) there is a physical latch to disable free exit.

I believe you can get a cat flap that is app enabled, so you can control it by your phone, WTF. Are we getting a generation who can only do things via their phone?

Icon because it's nearest to kitty.

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My hoard of obsolete hardware might be useful… one day

FlossyThePig

I've not pushing up daisies yet but I did amass a large collection (1000+) of kit car magazines over the years. Without going into detail they had to go. After investigating various methods of disposal I emailed the editor of a kit car magazine that was relatively new to the market. he took the lot and gave me a 5 year subscription to his mag.

P.S. Around my way there is a charity TWAM (Tools With A Mission) which collects old tools, refurbishes them and then ships them to third world African countries. They even take old computer hardware now.

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This revolution will not be televised – but it will be sanctioned: Googlers walk out over 'sex pest' executive scandals

FlossyThePig

Re: Which is worse?

In the late '70s a department in the office I worked had a "prick of the week" award. The trophy was usually displayed on the recipent's desk for the week. Anybody could win the award regardless of gender and seniority.

The trophy was cylindrical and stood vertically. Could we have an award like that today?

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iPhone XR guts reveal sizzle of the XS without the excessive price tag

FlossyThePig

Is it just me?

Whenever I see iPhone X I read it as "X" rather than "10". Now we have the iPhone "excess". Are they 'aving a larf?

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Linguists, update your resumes because Baidu thinks it has cracked fast AI translation

FlossyThePig

Lost in translation?

I remember hearing on the radio an interview with an English/Russian interpreter. During a meeting between an American president and his Russian counterpart, he used the expression “not buying pig in a poke”. This was translated into the Russian equivalent “not buying cat in a bag”. The Russian president replied by talking about cats.

I can’t remember how the interpreter solved the problem but it would be interesting to get AI to solve it, assuming it had an understanding of idiomatic phrases.

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On the first day of Christmas my true love gave me tea... pigs-in-blankets-flavoured tea

FlossyThePig

Re: Christmas is essentially Page 71 of the Brand New Monty Python Bok

What about the "12 Days of Christmas". You know the period AFTER Christmas ending on January 6th.

Don't worry El reg and others will get it wrong yet again.

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Hey you know what the smart-home world really needs right now? Yup, Google screaming in

FlossyThePig

BT Home Hub

Has BT commented on the name "Home Hub" yet? They still provide HH4 for new ADSL connections.

From what I have heard about thier latest incarnation "Smart Hub" I think smart refers to a sharp pain rather than something clever.

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UK space comes to an 'understanding' with Australia as Brexit looms

FlossyThePig
Headmaster

Re: Inconvenient Truths

1. this could of happened before Brexit

"have" not "of" boy! If you are smart and understand apostrophes there is the option "could've".

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Microsoft gets ready to kill Skype Classic once again: 'This time we mean it'

FlossyThePig

Panasonic TV

I used to Use the built in Skype app on a Panasonic TV with attached Panasonic USB camera to chat with our yougest in New Zealand, who had a similar Panasonic setup. Once, for some reason (which I can't remember) he used Facetime to talk to SWMBO on her iPad.

I was looking for a new PC at the time, so I blew my budget and bought an iMac and I haven't used Skype since.

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Oi, you. Equifax. Cough up half a million quid for fumbling 15 million Brits' personal info to hackers

FlossyThePig

Re: 30 quid per victim?

...it's thruppence...

Isn't that a term from pre-decimal currency, when thruppence was a quarter of a bob.

I can remember just before "D" (decimal) day a pint in the local cost 1/9. That should have become 9p after "D" day but it became 9.5p.

(Where's the Boring Old Fart icon)

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Milton Keynes: Come for roundabouts, stay for near-gigabit broadband

FlossyThePig

Re: Openreach

but do we need 1Gbps to every home

Who can tell. Remember previous predictions (either true or false).

- The world will only need 4 computers,

- 640k will be enough!

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Heart-stopping predictions from AI doctors could save lives

FlossyThePig

Re: Heart age

There used to be large whisky bottles attached to optics in pubs. I don't know what size they were but Jeroboam seems like a good starting point.

Wine can come in much larger bottles but if you can't pour it easily it's probably too big (Methuselah - 6 litres, and that's not the largest).

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Hundred-million Kiwi Oracle project on hold after Deloitte review

FlossyThePig

Re: Are all government health IT projects doomed to fail ?

It's not confined to government health IT projects. My second Rule of Computing states:

Any large scale public sector development will exceed the initial budget by a factor of x* times and will be late.

* - choose any number but you may underestimate the value.

To save you asking, there are currently only 2 rules, the first is

If the project is High Profile, has "challenging" timescales and uses something new (hardware or software) it will fail.

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It may be poor man's Photoshop, but GIMP casts a Long Shadow with latest update

FlossyThePig
Mushroom

Re: Forget the geeky stuff, sort out the user experience.

Why does everything have to be an effing "experience" these days. If it's not an "experience" it's a "journey".

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Beam me up, PM: Digital secretary expected to give Tory conference speech as hologram

FlossyThePig

Oh no!

@Andy Mac

is it time for Paris to be replaced by a Kar****ian?

How big will the icon have to be to get a Kar****ian arse in?

4
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Criminals a bit less interested in nicking Brits' identities this year

FlossyThePig

1H17 - 1H18

@ Waseem Alkurdi

It's just lazy writing. 1H17 = first half of 2017. The report actually uses "Jan-June 2017"

I had to search to find out that CIFAS was originally the Credit Industry Fraud Avoidance System. We all knew that didn't we?

2
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Boffins build a NAZI AI – wait, let's check that... OK, it's a grammar nazi

FlossyThePig

Re: The problem

@not.known@this.address

how about teaching children how to do this properly at school, rather than filling their heads with trendy nonsense like phonetics to teach spelling.

In the '50s I learned to read using phonics. Since then trendy methods have come and gone and we are back to using phonics that was used to teach my grandchildren how to read. You do learn the differences in spelling words like "F"arming and "PH"onetics (how do you spell "ff").

I had a colleague a few years ago who was (mis)taught to read using the Initial Teaching Alphabet. He admitted that even in his forties he had difficulty reading.

1
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Psst, says Qualcomm... Kid, you wanna see what a 5G antenna looks like?

FlossyThePig
Headmaster

How big?

Top left is the 5G transceiver module, a Snapdragon X50 chip, and coin for comparison

Sorry but how big is that foreign coin? is it the same as a 1p, 2p, 5p, 10p, £2 or perhaps a €0.01?

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Brit watchdog fines child sex abuse inquiry £200k over mass email blunder

FlossyThePig

Training

OK, how many here have had training on any part of the MS Office suite.

How many mouse clicks does it take to add BCC to an email?

In my experience most companies seem to expect staff to know how to use the main MS Office tools so don't provide training. It doesn't surprise me when someone (at any level) makes a blunder which can have serious repercussions.

1
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Official: The shape of the smartphone is changing forever

FlossyThePig

Vertical Video

So moving to either 18:9 or 18+:9 from 16:9 will the videos occupy an even thinner vertical stripe when shown on TV news programmes?

P.S. Don't get me started on the blurred enlargement the broadcaster insist on displaying behind the stripe.

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Infrastructure wonks: Tear up Britain's copper phone networks by 2025

FlossyThePig

Re: Every Telephone Pole Resembled The Mess Associated With Wire Frames

@ Doctor Syntax

...dig up every drive and garden...

In a previous property we had extensive building work carried out, including a laying new drive. British Gas (as it was then) could only connect us after all the work was completed. They used some form of burrowing tool to get the new gas pipe from the main one in the road to the side of the house where the meter was to be installed. There was no damage to my nice new drive.

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UK.gov IT projects that are failing: Verify. Border control. 4G for blue-light services. We can go on

FlossyThePig

Smart? Meters

Ah! Smart Meters communicate using 2G.

Mine's the one that is SMETS2, if it works with V2G (Vehicle to Grid).

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Micro Focus offloads Linux-wrangler SUSE for a cool $2.5bn

FlossyThePig
Facepalm

Re: Cut-and-shut

I remember a cartoon in a car magazine (Practical Classics?) where the front half of a VW Beetle had been attached to the rear half of a Morris Minor.

2
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Giffgaff admits to billing faff, actually tells folk to turn it off and on again

FlossyThePig

Re: Oy

Another old kid here and GG suits me as I rarely make calls on my phone. Occasional text message and receive calls. Wifi used for all things data. My balance is automatically topped up by £10 when balance drops below £3 (top up restricted to 3 times a month so not a major problem if phone nicked). No need for Goody Bags from GG but I remember buying real ones when I was a nipper.

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Meet the Frenchman masterminding a Google-free Android

FlossyThePig

Here WeGo

@Dan 55

...and pops up up GDPR questions...

As Here is majority-owned by a consortium of German automotive companies they should be well aware of all things GDPR.

P.S. "Here Maps" has been rebranded as "Here WeGo".

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Tech firms, come to Blighty! Everything is brill! Brexit schmexit, Galileo schmalileo

FlossyThePig

Re: Its the Will of the People!!

by 1.89% - Where did that figure come from?

...and nearly 28% of the electorate didn't even vote...

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Un-bee-lievable: Two million Swedish bugs stolen in huge sting

FlossyThePig

Whatever happened to...

Eric the Half a Bee?

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UK chancellor puts finger in air, promises 15 million full fibre connections by 2025

FlossyThePig

FTTC?

...my upload speed is just 5.5Megabits/second :-(

...and I thought my FTTC of 7.9Mb was poor.

2
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Can you handle the tooth? AI helps dentists design fake gnashers

FlossyThePig

Re: I'm confused.

My dentist constructed one of my premolars in situ. He didn't need AI, just years of dental knowledge.

2
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Boffins: Michael Jackson's tilt was a criminally smooth trick

FlossyThePig

c.f. Little Titch, and his ever-popular "Big Boot Dance"?

You beat to it.

MJ didn't pick his hat up like Little Titch.

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Tesla inches toward GPL compliance in low gear: Source code forcibly ejected into public

FlossyThePig
Headmaster

Re: That'll scare them off

...in their ICE applications...

As the article relates to an Electric Vehicle (EV) does ICE refer to Internal Combustion Engine or In Car Entertainment?

4
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Boffins bash out bonkers boost for batteries

FlossyThePig

Re: Bo-Larks

...someone has worked out how to make their arse talk...

I think politicians worked that out before Noah floated by*.

* thanks to my old chemistry teacher for the Noah expression of time.

5
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Courting disaster: Watchdog slams UK justice digitisation plans

FlossyThePig

Re: Meh! What's new?

One problem with large goverment IT projects is the length of the project . This means the MP in charge (not necessarily a Minister) will change a number of times causing a lack/change of direction, with the knock on of increased cost and timescales..

1
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Windows app makers told to think different – you're Microsoft 365 developers, now

FlossyThePig

Why oh why...

this is called a solution, or for a more social framing, an experience

...does everything have to be a solution or an experience?

I suppose it could be due to marketing types not being able to define the problem and therefore come up with a solution to have a good (or bad) experience.

In the old days I can remember a thing called usability but now it seems to be UX (User Experience).

4
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Apple grounds AirPort once and for all. It has departed. Not gonna fly any more. The baggage is dropped off...

FlossyThePig

Re: One of their best products.

@Alex Coward 1 Apples wireless keyboard also works as a wired keyboard.

There is nowhere to plug a cable into my iMac keyboard. Perhaps you can tell me how to do it.

6
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How 'parasitic' Google's 'We're journalists!' court defence was stamped into oblivion

FlossyThePig

Re: Iron

I still see Google as essentially a phone book, with people arguing that their numbers should be removed and tearing pages out.

I didn't tear the page out, just went ex-directory.

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Civil war erupts at top of FCC over Sinclair's creepy grasp on US telly

FlossyThePig
Joke

Not Sir Clive then!

Oh silly me. I saw Sinclair in the headline and thought "What is Clive doing now?", but it's some trouble in Trumptonshire.

P.S. I hear there are plans to remake Worzel Gummidge, I wonder who could play the part.

0
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A developer always pays their technical debts – oh, every penny... but never a groat more

FlossyThePig

Re: CEO jobs are on the line...

Perhaps the board should begin to accept that the board should not be full of people who don't understand the company

I'm getting old now. When I started in the business, called "Data Processing" then, there was an effort to get someone with DP knowledge on the Board. I believe this was reasonably successful. Unfortunately they have all now retired and have been replaced with accountants, bankers or other non-technical bods.

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Details of 600,000 foreign visitors to UK go up in smoke thanks to shonky border database

FlossyThePig

Re: What's the problem?

Negotiations for the Canada - EU trade deal began in 2009 but they started talking about it in 2004. Negotiations were concluded in 2014.

If you expect Brexit negotiations to be concluded in one year (or even three) you must be living in Farage land.

They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time*

*Napoleon XIV

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Google lobbies hard to derail new US privacy laws – using dodgy stats

FlossyThePig

YouTube

These days I try to use Google and their other products as little as possible.

For untracked searching I used to use DuckDuckGo but that seems to use Bing these days so I now use StartPage which piggy backs off Google (without tracking, apparently).

Unfortunately the only platform that various Electric Vehicle videos I watch is YouTube as they use the income from Google to pay for production.

1
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FlossyThePig

Re: Time for transparency

@AC Manufacturers do not need to pay Google anything for using Android on their phones.

Microsoft does get paid for each copy installed though, for licencing fees (last I heard it was about $5).

1
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Software gremlin robs Formula 1 world champ of season's first win

FlossyThePig
Holmes

Re: Follows old adage...

The BT46, designed by Gordon Murray, was not banned. He proved that the majority of the fan use was to provide cooling. It was dropped after one race, which it won, because it wasn't suitable for all the circuits of the time which meant a completely different car would have to be designed and built.

The other race car with a fan was the Chapparal 2J which was banned after 1 unsuccessful season. It was faster than other cars but very unreliable.

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Hip hop-eration: Hopless Franken-beer will bring you hoppiness

FlossyThePig
Pint

Brahms and Liszt

Many years ago I worked in Leeds and a new pub opened up near the office. One of the conditions of the licence was that all beer had to be served in a natural manner, i.e. no use of carbon dioxide in its delivery. Hand pumps only or straight from the barrel by gravity.

One lunch a chap came in, ordered a pint, took a sip and uttered the immortal phrase "Ah nectar". Many years before Del Boy but some people were thinking the equivalent of "Ah plonker".

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British Level 4 driverless pods are whizzing along ... er, a London path

FlossyThePig
Headmaster

Re: Milton Keynes

@Roland6

should of swapped places

"should've" or "should have" but NEVER "should of"

Go and stand in the corner wearing a conical hat with "D" on it. Whack-O!

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FlossyThePig

Re: So those kids with back to front hats...

Just use high frequency noise generator on the pod. Ability to hear higher frequencies drops with age.

There's probably no fun in that though.

4
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More power to UK, say 'leccy vehicle makers. Seriously, they need it

FlossyThePig

Re: Its not just manufacturing that needs a solution

Long term parking can be an ideal location for 2-way charging. The cars can sell power back to the grid as well. The Nissan Leaf in Japan already has this feature so it may even be built into models in other markets.

If the carpark knows roughly when you are going to get your car it should be able to balance supply for all.

0
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UK.gov to plough £67m into gigabit broadband for all and sundry

FlossyThePig

Re: Why?

I was going to say that the UK.gov don't know their arse from their elbow then realised they must do because they don't speak through their elbow.

(I'm sure someone has said that before me.)

10
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Oh honey! Oxfordshire abuzz with reports of a MEEELLION bees stolen

FlossyThePig

Who keeps bees?

Manton added that moving the hives would have been "quite an operation" and should have required some skill, especially as it was likely to have angered the bees.

It's best to move hives at night when it's dark and they are all, metaphorically, tucked up in bed. Just block the entrance hole, lift hive, but in back of van or lorry, at destination do actions in reverse.

That's what I did when helping my dad (many years ago) but he only had half a dozen hives. Didn't even need to wear special clothes.

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UK's Dyson to vacuum up 300 staffers for its electric car division

FlossyThePig

Re: Dyson ain't quite wot it used-er to be

@ Teiwaz

Unless the hairdryers have a 'secret' second feature...

It's the Braun electric toothbrush that offers that.

10
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Boring. The phone business has lost the plot and Google is making it worse

FlossyThePig

Re: Hardware design choices

My phone has

a) a headphone socket

b) a micrSD slot

c) a replaceable battery

It does have Windows 10 Mobile on it though, which is fine for me.

P.S. I don't use the headphone socket as I have bluetooth hands free gear from Oticon.

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