* Posts by Omgwtfbbqtime

548 posts • joined 30 Mar 2012

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HomePod, you say? Sex sex sex, that's all you think about

Omgwtfbbqtime
Coat

"...Apple has gone full-DevOps "

Is that like Full Bursar?

That's mine with the dried frog pills in the pockets.

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If this laptop is so portable, where's the keyboard, huh? HUH?

Omgwtfbbqtime

Same here - twin monitors and full size keyboard in the office hung off an encrypted Yoga1 (the desk is shared with another, we just don't go into the office on the same days). At home I plug it into twin monitors and a full size keyboard too.

No I don't close the lid - it's effectively a 3 monitor setup - 2x 22" monitors for work, laptop screen for distractions - I mean work related IM.

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Data scientist wanted: Must have Python, spontaneity not required

Omgwtfbbqtime
Happy

Re: Salary isn't just a number

"...I live on the edge of a national forest "

That alone would require a 100% boost in salary to even consider moving away from.

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Omgwtfbbqtime

@DavCrav

Offered != Accepted

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IBM's chief diversity officer knows too much and must be stopped!

Omgwtfbbqtime
Devil

Easy solution for IBM -

Pay her enough not to work for anyone else for the year. Include this in any contracts.

(Along the lines of "if you leave we will continue to pay you x% of salary (percentage to be based on value of information held) for a period of one year on the understanding that you won't work for our competitors or share proprietary time sensitive data in that period. You will not be privy to any of our new data during this period so when it expires your knowledge will be out of date.")

Or is that too simple?

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‘I crashed a rack full of servers with my butt’

Omgwtfbbqtime
Mushroom

Plan B

From Schlock Mercenary:

Commander Kevyn: So we're supposed to evacuate the rest of them?

Commodore Tagon: Sure, that would be a great solution. Let's call that "Plan A."

Captain Murtaugh: Also known as "Ablative armor that probably won't protect Plan B."

Captain Tagon: Plan B always takes the bullet for Plan C. That's why the alphabet has more than three letters.

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FYI: There's now an AI app that generates convincing fake smut vids using celebs' faces

Omgwtfbbqtime
Coffee/keyboard

Scary teeth on that Daisy Ridley link.

Nuff said.

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Ever wondered why tech products fail so frequently? No, me neither

Omgwtfbbqtime
FAIL

Re: UAT Testing

Too bloody right!

UAT testing should be 10 mins on script.

Then over to the actual important stuff -

Does it do what I need it to do?

Can I break it? if not, can I get it to do something unexpected?

If it is an upgrade - Does it still do what it did before (correctly)? or did they break that too?

Give UAT to the people who actually use the system day to day, just like any changes should be what the users can demonstrate a need for.

The end users should be the ones who are tasked with signing off the UAT- it is their own fault if things don't work properly afterwards if they skimped on testing.

That should fill out the time sheet nicely too.

Yes I do feel strongly about this, why do you ask?

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Wanna design a chip that talks to silly-fast GDDR6? You'll have to talk to Rambus, too

Omgwtfbbqtime

I'd consider investing in Rambus...

.. but I have some morals, so I'll stick to investing in Tobacco, Alcohol and Arms Dealing.

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'The capacitors exploded, showering the lab in flaming confetti'

Omgwtfbbqtime

Re: Improbable @EvilAuditor

I have a 32A supply in the garage. Comes with SWMBO having one of those new-fangled electrikery cars. I assume its 240v as we only have the one line coming in to the meter.

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Don't panic... but our fragile world is drifting away from the Sun

Omgwtfbbqtime

" the cost of providing aid seems to be small compared with the cost of waging war, "

Unfortunately providing aid does not buy votes... I mean provide jobs on the Clyde.

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Why did I buy a gadget I know I'll never use?

Omgwtfbbqtime

"What do you plug it into? I've never seen a PC with a full-size jack socket."

The USB goes into the PC, the 1/4" jack into the Strat.

The convertors? yep got a few of those - in both directions - it's hard to find cheap headphones with 1/4" jacks these days.

Also found a T-piece tree with half a dozen terminators on it in my spares drawer. - Haven't used 10 Base 2 in decades and moved house 3 times.

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Omgwtfbbqtime

Re: Guilty as charged...

I raise you USB to 1/4" Jack (Male) - how else do you connect a Stratocaster to a PC?

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Omgwtfbbqtime
Unhappy

My Gran was always of the opinion that if the veg doesn't need to be wrung out before serving it is underdone.

So Sunday dinner was started around 9am for a sit down around 2pm, the house filled with the scent of cabbage steam for days after.

I still dream of this.

Sometimes I wake screaming.

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Self-driving cars still do not exist even if we think they do

Omgwtfbbqtime
Trollface

You could consent to sex using your brain.

Generally there are insufficient resources (blood supply) to run two processes at once.

37
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1980s sci-fi movies: The thrill of being not quite terrified on mum's floral sofa

Omgwtfbbqtime
Flame

Also you don't talk about Series 4 of Airwolf.

Blue Thunder was better than Airwolf (any series) anyway.

A young Dana Carvey as JAFO as I remember.

(Icon for the incoming flames from Airwolf fans)

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Omgwtfbbqtime
Mushroom

"BTW, why does everyone think Alien was sci-fi, not horror?"

Alien was a horror movie.

Aliens an action movie,

The less said about Alien 3 the better.

0
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How to hack Wi-Fi for fun and imprisonment with crypto-mining inject

Omgwtfbbqtime
Pint

Alternatively -

You could offer "free" wifi with the cryptomining levy openly disclosed as the cost of using the wifi.

Say only 10% of cpu cycles.

It wont pay for the wifi in itself but might generate a bit of extra profit - if held for long enough.

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NAO probing Capita's sickly £700m GP support gig

Omgwtfbbqtime
Devil

Re: Maggie did

However Arthur Anderson did manage to disqualify themselves from any contracts ever again.

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Omgwtfbbqtime

"...no matter how poorly specified, woefully defined, chaotically overseen."

Those are requirements for an outsourcer like Crapita to make a profit. All those lovely change requests and consequent fees.

The initial tender is always low because they know they can pick up the profit on the CRs.

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Yes, your old iPhone is slowing down: iOS hits brakes on CPUs as batteries wear out

Omgwtfbbqtime
Trollface

"... a PR nightmare is approaching"

An Ap(ple)ocalypse?

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'I knew the company was doomed after managers brawled in a biker bar'

Omgwtfbbqtime
Boffin

Re: RE Gearbox

Ah yes... Italian tuning.

Also known as drive it like you stole it/thrash the tits off it.

All Diesels with EGRs need this regularly.

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Someone tell Thorpe Lane in Suffolk their internet sucks – they're still loading the page

Omgwtfbbqtime
Stop

Re: Pearls to Pig(eons)

Nope sorry, at this time on a Friday afternoon all I'm getting is Error 418 - I'm a Teapot.

Ah.. Wine O'clock in the office.

2
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Drone collisions with airliners may not be fatal, US study suggests

Omgwtfbbqtime

"...*Some seem to regard it as a law, others as a rule..."

More of a guideline really...

1
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Tesla launches electric truck it guarantees won't break for a million miles

Omgwtfbbqtime

Re: @Hairy Spod

"By the time you have added a generator, a fuel tank a transmission, an exhaust and a cooling system you will have..."

Transmission isn't needed. You run the engine as a generator not as a traditional IC engine driving a transmission driving the wheels.

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Omgwtfbbqtime
Thumb Up

Re: @Zog

Confirmed for a Mitsubishi Phev - 30miles reported range - usually get 23-24 in the summer not using the AC.

Winter? 18 miles if lucky, and even then the 2 litre generator kicks in until the batteries have warmed up (if temp below 10C).

But you can pre-heat the cabin by remote before unplugging it from the mains in the morning!

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It's artificial! It's intelligent! It's in my home! And it's gone bonkers!

Omgwtfbbqtime
Thumb Up

"... so it coudl decide whether to respond or not!"

just like a real dog.

9
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Google aims disrupto-tronic ray at intercoms. Yes, intercoms

Omgwtfbbqtime

I think there is a rule that there is always an XKCD that is relevant....

Will this work with Google shopping?

0
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Those IT gadget freebies you picked up this year? They make AWFUL Christmas presents

Omgwtfbbqtime
Happy

Re: freebie USB sticks @Prst. V.Jeltz

I have to disagree with you there This tiny thing is the perfect size - not metal but not enough sticking out to be bent when a wheelie chair is slammed into it.

Plus it doesn't stick out like a sore thumb plugged into a car usb slot (64GB of rock, metal, industrial... saves filling up the phone with music).

Someone (Roland6 I'm looking at you) beat me to this.

1
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Wheels are literally falling off the MoD thanks to lack of cash

Omgwtfbbqtime
Black Helicopters

"... poorly maintained road cars wheel just falling off too?"

Yes, if you take them off road at 50+ mph.

Take a look at WRC cars and the states they get into. You cannot state that they count as poorly maintained or substandard parts (back in the 90's it was reportedly £25K per wheel for an Impreza's suspension, compared to not much more than that for the entire civvy car with a full set held ready for end of stage replacement).

Put any machine through enough abuse and it will fall apart, given it is military I would expect the abuse to be far higher than any civvy car - other than one that's been TWOC'd of course!

Helicopter icon for falling wheels!

1
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Virgin's Project Lightning's very, very frightening: ISP will not hit connection target

Omgwtfbbqtime

It's their own fault.

Still waiting, 2 years on, for Cable my street to actually get into gear.

2
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Car trouble: Keyless and lockless is no match for brainless

Omgwtfbbqtime
Happy

It made me think of this:

Dave Allen at his finest.

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Omgwtfbbqtime

Re: silent water

More likely Clue by four.

0
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Didn't install a safety-critical driverless car patch? Bye, insurance!

Omgwtfbbqtime
Mushroom

"... a large number of us could do with a software patch or two"

Some just need "percussive maintenance".

Or maybe "wall to wall counselling" as it used to be called.

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NHS: Remember those patient records we didn't deliver? Well, we found another 162,000

Omgwtfbbqtime
Headmaster

Re: "... so it must be phleb they're taking"

So removing all of it would be a phlebectomy?

Much prefer an exsanguination/exsanguinate as a word!

1
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US Congress mulls first 'hack back' revenge law. And yup, you can guess what it'll let people do

Omgwtfbbqtime
Mushroom

Re: ACDC?

Time to sell a suite of easy to use hacking tools called Thunderstruck.

5
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Equifax: About those 400,000 UK records we lost? It's now 15.2M. Yes, M for MEELLLION

Omgwtfbbqtime

@Tom Paine

That would entirely depend on what documentation you kept, where you flagged up the potential flaws and were overruled by manglement on the grounds of cost.

Or if the hack is down to your failure to follow the recorded design spec because you couldn't be bothered/knew better.

Basically get everything in writing.

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Omgwtfbbqtime

"The better approach is surely to educate the agencies ..."

Starting with custodial sentences for the Exec board (all) and senior line management (directly implicated).

4
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Forget the 'simulated universe', say boffins, no simulator could hit the required scale

Omgwtfbbqtime
Pint

@D@v3

Sorry, you are nothing but the construct of a deranged imagination.

Pint for 3 pints at lunchtime.

1
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Shock! Hackers for medieval caliphate are terrible coders

Omgwtfbbqtime

@CrazyOldCatMan

Fair point.

Pretty much the same reason I would never (again) touch a car where the electrics had been done by the French.

Disclosure - I have had Peugeots and Renaults and they have all had severe electrical faults -even to the point where the electric motor for the rear passenger window caught fire (Megane). Never again.

I'll stick with Ford from now on.

0
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Omgwtfbbqtime

"... ear!y attempts by the Japanese to make motorbikes and cars."

and the repeat 20 years later of China copying Japanese (and everybody else's) motorbikes and cars.

Though still not up to a Ninja, Triumph or a Ducati the Chinese bikes now are a vast improvement over those 5 years ago - let alone 10.

6
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You forgot that you hired me and now you're saying it's my fault?

Omgwtfbbqtime
Trollface

...and they've always been very friendly with me!

Commission friendly?

6
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Forget trigonometry, 'cos Babylonians did it better 3,700 years ago – by counting in base 60!

Omgwtfbbqtime
Mushroom

Re: So much for digital

That's why I prefer mils for angles.

6400 mils to a circle.

1mil subtends 1m at 1km.

or at least close enough for artillery.

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Sysadmin jeered in staff cafeteria as he climbed ladder to fix PC

Omgwtfbbqtime

"Finding wireless devices, on the other hand, that's the REAL fun."

Simple:

1: Revoke access

2: follow the scream.

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Omgwtfbbqtime

Re: What is this ?

You missed out - who's fault it is.

1
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FUKE NEWS: Robot snaps inside drowned Fukushima nuke plant

Omgwtfbbqtime
Boffin

Re: Grainy images?

Yup, whod've thunked it, a electromagnetic radiation sensor affected by high energy electromagnetic radiation.

Mind, it is hard to get a filter for gamma rays that lets through visible light...

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Ten new tech terms I learnt this summer: Do you know them all?

Omgwtfbbqtime
Pint

Meta you say?

I'm so Meta - Even This Acronym.

Can't remember where I saw it - apologies for lack of attribution.

of course it was Obligatory XKCD reference

4
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Top tip for all you insider traders: Don't Google 'insider trading' from your work PC

Omgwtfbbqtime
Thumb Up

Re: Here is another piece of advice

Preaching to the choir there.

The number of hoops I have had to jump through in the past to make sure I stayed independent and was not breaching the compliance policy just to select the funds in my SIPP is horrendous.

Now I just make sure it is not a client (easy - read last year's annual report), stay clear of the corporate finance teams near the coffee machine, register my interests with compliance and I'm free to invest.

5
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In touching tribute to Samsung Note 7, fidget spinners burst in flames

Omgwtfbbqtime

Re: There's an opportunity here

! From AnyWhere! In The World! Through Your SmartPhone !!!!

FTFY

0
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Microsoft admits to disabling third-party antivirus code if Win 10 doesn't like it

Omgwtfbbqtime
Facepalm

"Defender doesn't make MS any money... "

YET.

FTFY

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