* Posts by Semtex451

499 posts • joined 21 Mar 2012

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29 MEEELLION iPhone Xs flogged... only to be end-of-life'd by summer?

Semtex451
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Re: Marketing genius.

So sad but so true. I feel a breakaway online republic coming on, one that rejects this idiocracy based version of society

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Apple: The exclusive sales channel for an, er, AI toothbrush

Semtex451
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Re: Cheaper to pay for a trip to the dental hytgenist

You seem to know a cheap dental hygenist

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'Repeal hate crime laws for free speech' petition passes 14k signatures

Semtex451
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Re: Robin Hood Airport

How would you tell?

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How's this for a stocking filler next year? El Reg catches up with Gemini

Semtex451
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Re: Resistance has finally gone

"money is pouring away" nice festive imagery and I'm pleased it isn't just me with that issue

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UK Foreign Sec Bojo to tell Kremlin: Stop your cyber shenanigans... or else!

Semtex451
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Talk about throwing fat on the fire

Can we send him to North Korea after this?

And leave him there?

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When neural nets do carols: 'Santa baby bore sweet Jesus Christ. Fa la la la la la, la la la la'

Semtex451
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12 Days of Regmas

Your 12 Days of Regmas cheered up this old scrooge and summed things up nicely too. Well done.

(but you forgot IoT)

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Weed wish you a merry Christmas: Pot-toting OAPs tell cops 30kg stash is for pressies

Semtex451
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No.

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Long Island Iced Tea Corp renamed itself to Long Blockchain – and its shares went bananas

Semtex451
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Re: Maybe El Reg should jump on this valuation

Only Climate Change and Stephen Fry.

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Bigmouth ex-coppers who fed media MP pr0nz story face privacy probe

Semtex451
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No one was ever going to come out of this smelling of roses, but whatever Mr.Greens failures were, it does not give policemen or former policemen the right to breach confidentiality.

I'm almost always on the side of the fuzz but only when they play with a straight bat.

@down-voters - remember this moment when they breach your confidentiality.

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BlackBerry grabs trolley for spot of tech shopping

Semtex451
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IIRC it was India and their portfolio of patents that kept the wolves from the door. I have a severe mince pie & port deficiency to address, so I may be remembering that wrongly.

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Oh good. Transport for London gives Capita £80m for WAN, LAN and Wi-Fi

Semtex451
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Re: 'TfL reckons it will save £33m'

£33M saving over 5 years, so £6.6M/year divide that by TfL's Annual passenger journey figure allegedly 1.37B

So we get 1/2p discount per journey. No that's not right, is it?

Nevermind, the world has obviously gone completely mad.

Pass the mince pies.

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Semtex451
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Re: Seriously?

Yea probably only Crapita and Magic Leap are on the approved vendor list.

One does everything badly, the other does nothing, but very well.

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Facebook folds fake news flag: We're not disputing that

Semtex451
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Sorry I must be living in a cave

People ....want to get news...... from Facebook?

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How much will Britain's next F-35s cost? Not telling, says MoD

Semtex451
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Re: Quality vs quantity

I'd ask a Russian which is better.

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This week in 'Bungles in the AWS S3 Privacy Jungles', we present Alteryx – and 123 million households exposed

Semtex451
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Re: Oh for fsck sake

On the upside, anyone believing Experian data will think that I’m a modern Robin f’ing Hood

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Danger! High voltage: Kraut customs bods burn half-tonne of weed in power station

Semtex451
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You’re right. It’s not many doubledecker buses worth

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Semtex451
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Re: What a waste ?

Exactly. "Nobody got high in Olching."

Only the weed got wasted that day.

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Yes, your old iPhone is slowing down: iOS hits brakes on CPUs as batteries wear out

Semtex451
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Re: It's never YOUR phone

Apple - ‘All your core are belong to us’

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Semtex451
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Re: Apple acknowledged the situation in an email to The Register

And so it is written...The sky turns to blood, the seas boil away, el reg builds a relationship with Apple, the rivers run dry, someone says something significant on Twatter or Facepalm, the beast with two backs is on the telly, shortly after low did the mighty FSM End this race of humanity

Or something like that

PS- Andrew O please explain to your colleague that it is not possible to use the word Apple and the word transparency in the same sentence

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Comms-slurping public bodies in UK need crash course in copy 'n' paste

Semtex451
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Re: Nigel who?

Rebecca making a clever point about typos (I hope)

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Semtex451
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Megaphone

Re: Buttle/Tuttle

We knew that. Didn't we?

"People have been arrested for crimes relating to child sexual exploitation. Their children have been taken into care, and they have had to tell their employers."

This simply cannot go on.

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Cloud-building alien space rays altered Earth's climate – boffins

Semtex451
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Windows

Meh

If Interstellar particles alter Earth's climate, by extension so must our planets magnetic field, as it variably influences said particles reaching our atmosphere. As my compatriot Wolfetone points this out as miniscule 'Corolla Data', it presumably may, at some point be useful in modifying/improving climate models affecting distant points in time. But I even bore myself.

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How Google's black box Knowledge Graph can kill you

Semtex451
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People unfortunately aren't diligent fact checkers

Precisely.

The problem is always 'People unfortunately (insert failing)' and so long as this is the case we can only hope to educate these People both not to trust, and not to upload crap.

Good luck to anyone attempting to hold back that internet tide of human excrement.

Icon: A toast to Terry Pratchett

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Semtex451
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Facepalm

What's new?

The gullible will believe what they are told without question, just as they have since the dawn of time.

This issue is not new, formerly if it was printed in black and white it was fact, when it wasn't always and still isn't. The 'fact' that the information contained in the internet is less reliable, even than the printed word, ought to be abundantly obvious to everyone using it.

Of course everyone should act like a typical El Reg reader and trust nothing, ever. (citation needed)

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UK, US govt and pals on WannaCry culprit: It woz the Norks wot done it

Semtex451
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Highly Likely

"National Cyber Security Centre assesses it is highly likely that North Korean actors...."

Perhaps they would have inspired more confidence by saying "very highly likely" or "quite probably"?

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Virgin Hyperloop pulls up the biggest chair for Branson, bags $50m, new speed record

Semtex451
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Linux

IIRC Mr. Bransons face was modelled on the Star Wars character Salacious Crumb, a Kowakian monkey-lizard that used to hang around with Jabba the Hutt.

Well it may have been the other way around.

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PHWOAR, those noughty inks: '0.1%' named Stat of The Year

Semtex451
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Re: From the linked site:

Exactly they established that just 0.1 per cent of the UK is designated "continuous urban fabric" and that 0.2% is airports, and there's nothing artificial about those surfaces, or sport and leisure facilities 1.15%? Hummmm.

Pnar phar, flibble.

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Irony's lost on old Pope Francis: Pontiff decrees fake news a 'serious sin'

Semtex451
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Windows

The FSM agrees with the Pope on this (it told me so)

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Kent woman to season festive dinner with her mother's ashes

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Auto auto fleets to dodge British potholes in future

Semtex451
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Re: Reporting != Reparing

I'd be digging holes and lying in wait, so I could harvest the repairbots for spares to use in my housekeepingbot.

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Semtex451
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What layer does pothole collision avoidance occur upon?

A-Ha. This can be monetised. Car A and Car B are each approaching adjacent potholes at the same speed. "To increase your priority ($50) please tap here"

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Brrr! It's a snow day and someone has pwned the chuffin' school heating

Semtex451
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Windows

Lucky little sods

When I were a lad we had to bring in a lump a' coal.

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The eagle has been grounded: Dutch anti-drone squadron retired

Semtex451
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Fully Operational

The rats here work a lot harder than the humans, and have a better standard of personal hygiene.

While we are an equal opportunity employer, I'm sorry I will be interviewing more rats and fewer humans.

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Millions of moaners vindicated: Man flu is 'a thing', says researcher, and big TVs are cure

Semtex451
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Re: Expect better than this from the reg

Agreed the article should be a Bootnote.

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Semtex451
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Vindication at last

Going to use this as a sick note. Cough.

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Archive of 1.4 billion credentials in clear text found in dark web archive

Semtex451
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Find shows people still suck at passwords

Why is the article tagline 'Find shows people still suck at passwords and not 'OMG change your passwords!!!'?.

Is the author not disturbed that there's an archive of 1.4B passwords both simple and complex?

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Shady US sigint base upgrade marred by stolen photograph

Semtex451
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Par for the course

It's not the first time I've seen architects to do unsporting things with golf balls.

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Meet the woman with a supernatural affinity for stiff lovers

Semtex451
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Windows

It's true, my clothes died years ago but I'm still wearing them.

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Semtex451
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So was she..

to die for?

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Yes, Britain has an urban-rural 4G schism. This is what it looks like

Semtex451
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Re: 77% my shiney bum

Quite right 74%. I don't know my bum from my elbow

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Semtex451
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77% my shiney bum

Well I must be holding it wrong.

The phone, not my bum.

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OK Google: A stranger with stash of pirated films is spamming my Google Team Drive

Semtex451
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Joke

Google Drive Help Forum "top contributor"

If he held an EL Reg Gold Badge I might listen to him

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Toucan play that game: Talking toy bird hacked

Semtex451
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In a barbed remark to manufacturers....

Was the barbed remark in Cantonese and addressed to someone that gives a hoot* about any westerners security?

*required bird reference

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Once again, UK doesn't rule out buying F-35A fighter jets

Semtex451
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Re: Why go totally F-35?

True but Super Hornets would have been a lot cheaper shurley?

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Quentin Tarantino in talks to make Star Trek movie

Semtex451
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@Chris G - John Travolta?? Have you forgotten Battlefield Earth already?

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Creepy Cayla doll violates liberté publique, screams French data protection agency

Semtex451
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Oh FFS

Stop the Planet, I want to get off.

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Brit cyber-spies: Fancy meeting outside court to talk about evidence?

Semtex451
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I'll volunteer

I suggest all parties meet down my local pub, sit at different tables and I'll carry notes between them and presumably drinks too. That way GCHQ can make inconvenient facts, and my bar tab, just disappear.

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