* Posts by Semtex451

646 posts • joined 21 Mar 2012

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'Exclusive swag' up for grabs as GitLab flings bug bounty scheme open to world+dog

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Windows

Have you been good?

It's not too late to ask Santa

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Windows

Dunno why they're so unpopular these days

When I was a kid I'd've given my left arm for one, or a curly wurly.

Phew, galactic accident helps boffins explain dark matter riddle

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Windows

Re: Not Found ....

Dat'll be da Guinness ;\

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Re: Misleading title

It is.

Its the FSM's noodly tendrils, I've been saying this all day.

Taylor's gonna spy, spy, spy, spy, spy... fans can't shake cam off, shake cam off

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Windows

Righto Ta.

I thought it might be a Professor of Astronomy or an efficient company that make suits, perhaps.

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Windows

Who's Taylor Swift?

Oxford startup magics up metamaterials for next-gen charging

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It's a very positive indicator, as we know that assumption is the mother of all f*ck ups

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Re: I have another theory

8. If you use a case you typically have to remove it

Windows 10 can carry on slurping even when you're sure you yelled STOP!

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Big Brother

It's beginning to look a lot like....

1984

No wait, 1984 is beginning to look like a better option

The eulogising of The Mother Of All Demos at 50 is Silicon Valley going goo-goo for gurus again

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"Theranos did demos too, which were as fake as SRI's"

Remind me what happened to MagicLeap..

IBM is trying to throttle my age-discrimination lawsuit – axed ace cloud salesman

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Re: Nope

@ Gonzo wizard - No mention of sales personnel but I guess I should go on the course 'Modn English 4 Greybeards'

@ AC - I'm talking about the article, not what's happening at IBM which is despicable

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Stop

Nope

Your Sub Heading: "Non-millennial claims Big Blue is hiding evidence of anti-greybeard HR policies"

You cannot use the term 'greybeard' in this context. It refers to an individual with unmatched knowledge in a specific area, a wise one, a sage. They should be approached with respect, awe, and trepidation lest your stupid question reveal just how dangerously little you know.

It does not mean that you are simply over 35.

Lenovo tells Asia-Pacific staff: Work lappy with your unencrypted data on it has been nicked

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Facepalm

Re: Lappy?

That was still the good ol days at El Reg

Also English was still a thing (we have to say 'a thing' now)

This place has changed beyond all recognition since, as has our language and therefore journalists use of it.

F*ck I'm old.

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news

These days I'm wondering at what frequency does an event no longer become newsworthy.

Even the staff at HP will be laughing only till they think "better check ours".

It comes under the heading 'Unlikely chain of events actually occurs (with disastrous consequences)'

NASA names the date for the first commercial crew demo flight

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Thumb Up

Re: Bomb 20

Teach it phenomenology.

Excellent.

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Re: Echoes...

Possible CIMON can be taken outside and lobbed back to earth without adding to the rest of the orbiting junk?

The internet is going to hell and its creators want your help fixing it

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Re: Who cares what those guys think on those subjects?

@coconuthead & above AC

"Vint Cerf, Tim Berners-Lee and other identify lots of problems, few solutions"

If you believe they are wrong, and that everything's just great and will be, could you please expand on why you believe that?

Dine crime: Chippy sells deep fried Xmas dinner

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Joke

Could you just confirm that when you say

"The proceeds from the dinner sinner are to be distributed to Dunkeld community."

that you are in fact referring to what your left with, after costs, and not after digestion?

Expired cert... Really? #O2down meltdown shows we should fear bungles and bugs more than hackers

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Re: Incompetance

No

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Coat

Re: No Plan B

But you'll get the blame, so take the initiative and say "Ikabai-Sital". Present them with options.

FYI: there's an amusing article about Ikabai-Sital you should read here:

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2015/08/08/all_hail_ikabaisital_destroyer_of_worlds_mender_of_toilets/

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Re: Acronyms

Agreed, in my book an acronym should be pronounceable, as in SNAFU

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What was it that Giffgaff did that they come in for so much stick?

Do not adjust your set: Hats off to Apple, you struggle to shift iPhones 'cos you're oddly ethical

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After all these years

Does AndrewO still have to point out to you that when the word 'Ethical' appears in a sentence in relation to Apple, one of three situations has occurred

a) it's sarcasm foo

b) the word is being used comparatively

c) AndrewO needs an ambulance

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Re: @Andrew O

It's about Apples failed deviation from the usual release scheme this year, i.e. release flagship, discount last years flagship. Instead they discontinued last years flagship (X) and released a larger but inferior* handset (XR) and made it only slightly cheaper. Apple have finally realised that idea was not working out for them and have reduced the price $300 to make it a more viable upgrade for 6 and 7 owners not stupid enough to pay XS money.

What Apple can't do anything about is the size of the XR, which does not appeal to many 'western' 6 and 7 owners. It occurred to me in September that the only way to get around that was to put the X back into production, its size is acceptable to this group. But that would make the XR even less attractive unless you like phablets.

*see Apples handset comparison site

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Thumb Up

@Andrew O

Thank you for writing that, no one ever listens to little old me.

Waymo's revolutionary driverless robo-taxi service launches in America... with drivers

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Headmaster

"an actual human being sat several feet away"

"just ask Chuck seeing as he's sat here"

I suppose I just have to join the 21st Century and let go of the entire concept of grammar.

Estonian ex-foreign sec urges governments: Get cosy with the private sector on cybersecurity

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Alien

Which reminds me, I gots to get me one of their swanky e-citizenships.

Waiter, what's this? SpaceX delivery delayed for a day by moldy food

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Holmes

Re: It's not really about the mice.

"Basically, human microbiota tend to accumulate in human habitats"

We El Reg readers are most keenly aware of this.

YMMV

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Coat

Re: Spelling!

@ Bassey - You are of course quite right Sir. I apologise for my poor use of the word. I'll provide a rigorous analysis in due course.

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Re: Spelling!

Worse, the article alternates between the two spellings at random.

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"Its aim is to compare the physiology of ageing and its effects on disease progression, by comparing groups of young and old mice on the ISS and back here on Earth."

Depending on the type, mould in food can have a very direct effect on the physiology of ageing and disease progression, the Earth bound mice voted for non mouldy food so now they all have to have non mouldy food.

Apple co-founder and former CEO has the most expensive John Hancock on the planet

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Thumb Up

Very good of you

You say it's worth £40,000 and yet you provide us with our own copy for free, gratis and for nothing.

Tumblr resorts to AI in attempt to scrub itself clean from filth

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Pron

I finally understand what Tumblr is for.

Naked women cleaning biz smashes patriarchy by introducing naked bloke gardening service

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Facepalm

I'd only end up cleaning the place in a mad panic, before the cleaner arrived

European fibre lobby calls for end to fake fibre broadband ads

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WTF?

So the ASA is admitting that it is alright to hoodwink un-savvy consumers, the very people they should be protecting. WTF?

"All of the consumer research we have done in relation to broadband advertising in recent years suggests that consumer knowledge regarding broadband services is low. We recognise that this might be a barrier to consumers choosing the best deal for their needs, and we have therefore shared our research with Ofcom to consider as part of its on-going work on Helping consumers to engage in communications markets."

Spoken like a true media luvvie

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Re: Meat

or another journalist

Dog with 'psychotic tendencies' escapes home to poop on his neighbours' pillows

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Pint

This is how the sarcastic expression "Oh Didhams!" came about, said to someone crying over something trivial, like a grazed knee, or pooh on their pillow.

Naturally it was corrupted over time: https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/diddums

Blockchain study finds 0.00% success rate and vendors don't call back when asked for evidence

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And as with the AI hype, tech journalists bear no responsibility whatsoever.

Well not if they work for El Reg.

Q: If Pesky Pepper had a peek at patient papers, at how many patient papers did Pesky Pepper peek? A: 231

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Coat

So you admit this is Fakenham news

Sorry, been a long week

1,700 lucky Brit kids to visit Apple Stores for 'Year of Engineering'

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Re: Think like an Engineer

4 Down clue 'type of eel'?

Lush scrubs its card-processing servers squeaky clean

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Alien

Re: what's soap?

While we're at it, what's this "CASH" of which you speak?

Excuses, excuses: Furious MPs probe banking TITSUPs*

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Facepalm

Tough audience in tonight again.

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Pint

Re: Motes and beams

Right there with you, have a pint on me.

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Pint

I know about usff PC's, but where can I get one of those wireless Monitors you advertise?

Black(out) Friday for HSBC: iOS and Android banking apps on the fritz

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Pint

"We ask that customers retry logging in"

....so we can generate a self stylee DDoS

Shocker: UK smart meter rollout is crap, late and £500m over budget

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Facepalm

"Ten years ago, when the Cabinet Office was pondering whether to commit the country to the £11bn project"

It feels like a lot longer than 10 years since EL Reg started, rightly, pointing out that this is a stupid idea.

Please remind me, which fool conceived it, thought it was a good one and managed to get it in front of the Cabinet Office?

Oh, I wish it could be Black Friday every day-aayyy, when the wallets start jingling but it's still a week till we're paiii-iid

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Windows

@ Dabbsy

Sir are you not able to claim dual nationality, British and also that of your wife, by dint of being married to your wife, or somesuch?

Thereby we can keep our brother Scots within our beloved Union.

Reverse Ferret! Forget what we told you – the iPad isn't really for work

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Re: Oh FFS

Upvote 10 pack to you Sir, it's those same clueless morons running a lot of places.

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