* Posts by Semtex451

527 posts • joined 21 Mar 2012

Page:

Facebook names former Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg head of global affairs

Semtex451
Coat

Re: Mind elsewhere...

Liberally malleable?

Fills a gap at the bottom?

Apologies, its been a long week and it's beer o'clock

6
0

Insects with farts that smell like coriander assist in covering up Paris's aroma d'urine

Semtex451

Re: Coriander?!!

Well it's not as if he said to use a guillotine.

But plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose

7
0

Bloodhound Super-Sonic-Car lacks Super-Sonic-Cashflow

Semtex451
Joke

Approach Top Gears Hamster, could be third time lucky (JOKE)

11
0

Microsoft Surface to die in 2019? Not while Redmond keeps making it, er, blush

Semtex451
Coat

...and it isn't bringing home the bacon?

4
1
Semtex451
Facepalm

MS stop thinking you can charge Apple Tax, you cannot.

4
6

Russian rocket goes BOOM again – this time with a crew on it

Semtex451
Holmes

Re: Oops.

.....Up to the point the parachutes deployed, yes.

13
0
Semtex451
Pint

Re: Oops.

Agreed, sadly their trajectory matched the curve of Putin's credibility rating.

38
16

Microsoft Surface Pro 4 owners: So, about that other broken update…

Semtex451
Coat

Applying firmware updates always looks like a good idea, on the surface.

15
0

Man cuffed for testing fruit with bum cheek pre-purchase

Semtex451
Coat

Judging by the toilet seats where I work, that may not be true.

But when you gotta mango you gotta mango.

Mines the long one at the back with flaps

9
0

Apple hands €14.3bn in back taxes to reluctant Ireland

Semtex451
Windows

Can't be 4.8M in the Republic ....already, shurley not?

Maybe on the entire island, no?

1
5

Brain brainiacs figure out what turns folks into El Reg journos, readers

Semtex451

Re: @Phil O'Sophical

Condensed- "It'll soon be Monday"

Most weekends I miss simply by blinking

5
0

No, seriously, why are you holding your phone like that?

Semtex451

you likely have something wrong with your tilt switches (accelerometer my ass), not your ears.

3
0
Semtex451

Re: The Dabsy

This thought occurred to me too, if they (France) win the world cup, the wind direction is currently unfavourable to us.

5
0

'Plane Hacker' Roberts: I put a network sniffer on my truck to see what it was sharing. Holy crap!

Semtex451

Re: What about the Toyotas that get sold to the Middle East ...

Yes, built in Sat-phones may not be popular amongst this customer-base. At least they wouldn't be for long.

12
0

Giffgaff admits to billing faff, actually tells folk to turn it off and on again

Semtex451
Pint

Oy

Without wishing to sound like the erstwhile 'Shill', lay off my mates at Giffgaff.

Dey is cool and down wid da kids innit.

(I'm a very old kid and IMHO they ought to be El Reg readers least detested cellular network)

16
7

Apple fanbois ride to the aid of iGiant in patent spat with Qualcomm

Semtex451
Facepalm

What a time to be a US patent lawyer, I always seem to be in the wrong game, at the wrong time.

11
0

UK.gov is not being advised by Google. Repeat. It is not being advised by Google

Semtex451

Re: Even the worst AI

Certainly it would appear that AI might actually happen before Brexit does.

4
0

A volt out of the blue: Phone batteries reveal what you typed and read

Semtex451
Headmaster

"difficult to corroborate"?

2
0

USB-C for Surface owners arrives in form of a massive dongle

Semtex451
Windows

?

MS think they're at least as good as Apple and can therefore charge an apple-like tax? Alas no one else thinks that. $7.99 shurley?

14
1

Priceless: The cost to BT for bothering you with spam? 1.5 UK pence per email

Semtex451
Mushroom

Another missed opportunity to kill off the BT leviathan. Fine should be the price of a hours call to the Oz speaking clock, per email.

2
0

Google says Pixel 2's narcoleptic display is being fixed in June update

Semtex451
Holmes

Remember you're not a customer, you're a data source. Google are unaccustomed to serving data sources.

16
1

USA! USA! We're No.1! And we want to keep it that way – in spaaaace

Semtex451

Re: Cake and eat it seems to be a thing now.

Richard this is the first article that I have consciously read by you and unlike JimmyPage I wish to congratulate you on a well written piece that deceives the reader into not realising that they have been clickbaited. I doff my hat Sir.

4
1

Whoa, Gartner drops a truth bomb: Blockchain is overhyped and top IT bods don't want it

Semtex451
Thumb Up

Re: "Almost as overhyped as Gartner"

Outstanding post Sir

0
0
Semtex451

Re: "Blockchain is overhyped..."

Almost as overhyped as Gartner

21
1

45-day drone flights? You are like a little baby. How about a full YEAR?

Semtex451
Windows

The important question is

How many buses is a 35m wingspan

12
0

Eat your damn storage news, child! Look, we even chopped it up into little digestible chunks

Semtex451
Paris Hilton

Racks and the weight issue (3,000 lbs/rack)?

Am I on the wrong website again?

4
0

We wanted a camera, they gave us the eye of Gemini – and an eSIM

Semtex451
Holmes

It is the twin of the Psion S5. So nothing <extent> quite like the Gemini

5
0

Google Pixel 2 XL: Like paying Apple-tier prices then saying, hey, please help yourself to my data

Semtex451
Holmes

Like a fine wine

Or some other cliche, you improve with age Andrew.

0
1

29 MEEELLION iPhone Xs flogged... only to be end-of-life'd by summer?

Semtex451
Facepalm

Re: Marketing genius.

So sad but so true. I feel a breakaway online republic coming on, one that rejects this idiocracy based version of society

8
0

Apple: The exclusive sales channel for an, er, AI toothbrush

Semtex451

Re: Cheaper to pay for a trip to the dental hytgenist

You seem to know a cheap dental hygenist

2
0

'Repeal hate crime laws for free speech' petition passes 14k signatures

Semtex451

Re: Robin Hood Airport

How would you tell?

3
0

How's this for a stocking filler next year? El Reg catches up with Gemini

Semtex451
Pint

Re: Resistance has finally gone

"money is pouring away" nice festive imagery and I'm pleased it isn't just me with that issue

17
0

UK Foreign Sec Bojo to tell Kremlin: Stop your cyber shenanigans... or else!

Semtex451

Talk about throwing fat on the fire

Can we send him to North Korea after this?

And leave him there?

41
0

When neural nets do carols: 'Santa baby bore sweet Jesus Christ. Fa la la la la la, la la la la'

Semtex451
Pint

12 Days of Regmas

Your 12 Days of Regmas cheered up this old scrooge and summed things up nicely too. Well done.

(but you forgot IoT)

10
0

Weed wish you a merry Christmas: Pot-toting OAPs tell cops 30kg stash is for pressies

Semtex451

No.

14
1

Long Island Iced Tea Corp renamed itself to Long Blockchain – and its shares went bananas

Semtex451

Re: Maybe El Reg should jump on this valuation

Only Climate Change and Stephen Fry.

2
0

Bigmouth ex-coppers who fed media MP pr0nz story face privacy probe

Semtex451

No one was ever going to come out of this smelling of roses, but whatever Mr.Greens failures were, it does not give policemen or former policemen the right to breach confidentiality.

I'm almost always on the side of the fuzz but only when they play with a straight bat.

@down-voters - remember this moment when they breach your confidentiality.

67
7

BlackBerry grabs trolley for spot of tech shopping

Semtex451

IIRC it was India and their portfolio of patents that kept the wolves from the door. I have a severe mince pie & port deficiency to address, so I may be remembering that wrongly.

1
0

Oh good. Transport for London gives Capita £80m for WAN, LAN and Wi-Fi

Semtex451
Pint

Re: 'TfL reckons it will save £33m'

£33M saving over 5 years, so £6.6M/year divide that by TfL's Annual passenger journey figure allegedly 1.37B

So we get 1/2p discount per journey. No that's not right, is it?

Nevermind, the world has obviously gone completely mad.

Pass the mince pies.

21
0
Semtex451

Re: Seriously?

Yea probably only Crapita and Magic Leap are on the approved vendor list.

One does everything badly, the other does nothing, but very well.

30
0

Facebook folds fake news flag: We're not disputing that

Semtex451
Coat

Sorry I must be living in a cave

People ....want to get news...... from Facebook?

18
0

How much will Britain's next F-35s cost? Not telling, says MoD

Semtex451

Re: Quality vs quantity

I'd ask a Russian which is better.

7
0

This week in 'Bungles in the AWS S3 Privacy Jungles', we present Alteryx – and 123 million households exposed

Semtex451

Re: Oh for fsck sake

On the upside, anyone believing Experian data will think that I’m a modern Robin f’ing Hood

3
1

Danger! High voltage: German customs bods burn half-tonne of weed in power station

Semtex451

You’re right. It’s not many doubledecker buses worth

3
0
Semtex451
Coat

Re: What a waste ?

Exactly. "Nobody got high in Olching."

Only the weed got wasted that day.

23
1

Yes, your old iPhone is slowing down: iOS hits brakes on CPUs as batteries wear out

Semtex451
Coat

Re: It's never YOUR phone

Apple - ‘All your core are belong to us’

35
0
Semtex451

Re: Apple acknowledged the situation in an email to The Register

And so it is written...The sky turns to blood, the seas boil away, el reg builds a relationship with Apple, the rivers run dry, someone says something significant on Twatter or Facepalm, the beast with two backs is on the telly, shortly after low did the mighty FSM End this race of humanity

Or something like that

PS- Andrew O please explain to your colleague that it is not possible to use the word Apple and the word transparency in the same sentence

48
2

Comms-slurping public bodies in UK need crash course in copy 'n' paste

Semtex451

Re: Nigel who?

Rebecca making a clever point about typos (I hope)

3
0

Page:

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2018