* Posts by Semtex451

468 posts • joined 21 Mar 2012

Page:

Auto auto fleets to dodge British potholes in future

Semtex451
Silver badge

Re: Reporting != Reparing

I'd be digging holes and lying in wait, so I could harvest the repairbots for spares to use in my housekeepingbot.

4
0
Semtex451
Silver badge
Windows

What layer does pothole collision avoidance occur upon?

A-Ha. This can be monetised. Car A and Car B are each approaching adjacent potholes at the same speed. "To increase your priority ($50) please tap here"

2
0

Brrr! It's a snow day and someone has pwned the chuffin' school heating

Semtex451
Silver badge
Windows

Lucky little sods

When I were a lad we had to bring in a lump a' coal.

12
0

The eagle has been grounded: Dutch anti-drone squadron retired

Semtex451
Silver badge

Fully Operational

The rats here work a lot harder than the humans, and have a better standard of personal hygiene.

While we are an equal opportunity employer, I'm sorry I will be interviewing more rats and fewer humans.

7
0

Millions of moaners vindicated: Man flu is 'a thing', says researcher, and big TVs are cure

Semtex451
Silver badge

Re: Expect better than this from the reg

Agreed the article should be a Bootnote.

7
1
Semtex451
Silver badge

Vindication at last

Going to use this as a sick note. Cough.

17
0

Archive of 1.4 BEEELLION credentials in clear text found in dark web archive

Semtex451
Silver badge

Find shows people still suck at passwords

Why is the article tagline 'Find shows people still suck at passwords and not 'OMG change your passwords!!!'?.

Is the author not disturbed that there's an archive of 1.4B passwords both simple and complex?

6
0

Shady US sigint base upgrade marred by stolen photograph

Semtex451
Silver badge

Par for the course

It's not the first time I've seen architects to do unsporting things with golf balls.

33
0

Meet the woman with a supernatural affinity for stiff lovers

Semtex451
Silver badge
Windows

It's true, my clothes died years ago but I'm still wearing them.

17
0
Semtex451
Silver badge

So was she..

to die for?

5
0

Yes, Britain has an urban-rural 4G schism. This is what it looks like

Semtex451
Silver badge

Re: 77% my shiney bum

Quite right 74%. I don't know my bum from my elbow

3
0
Semtex451
Silver badge
Coat

77% my shiney bum

Well I must be holding it wrong.

The phone, not my bum.

8
1

OK Google: A stranger with stash of pirated films is spamming my Google Team Drive

Semtex451
Silver badge
Joke

Google Drive Help Forum "top contributor"

If he held an EL Reg Gold Badge I might listen to him

30
1

Toucan play that game: Talking toy bird hacked

Semtex451
Silver badge

In a barbed remark to manufacturers....

Was the barbed remark in Cantonese and addressed to someone that gives a hoot* about any westerners security?

*required bird reference

12
0

Once again, UK doesn't rule out buying F-35A fighter jets

Semtex451
Silver badge

Re: Why go totally F-35?

True but Super Hornets would have been a lot cheaper shurley?

8
0

Quentin Tarantino in talks to make Star Trek movie

Semtex451
Silver badge
Facepalm

@Chris G - John Travolta?? Have you forgotten Battlefield Earth already?

22
0

Creepy Cayla doll violates liberté publique, screams French data protection agency

Semtex451
Silver badge
Coat

Oh FFS

Stop the Planet, I want to get off.

14
0

Brit cyber-spies: Fancy meeting outside court to talk about evidence?

Semtex451
Silver badge
Pint

I'll volunteer

I suggest all parties meet down my local pub, sit at different tables and I'll carry notes between them and presumably drinks too. That way GCHQ can make inconvenient facts, and my bar tab, just disappear.

13
0

Foil snack food bags make a decent Faraday cage, judge finds

Semtex451
Silver badge
Headmaster

Faraday

Being a surname Faraday should be capitalised. Have some respek

27
0

Max Schrems launches privacy NGO, wins €60k within first 24 hours

Semtex451
Silver badge
Pint

Agreed

Prost Max

8
0

Hacked Brit shipping giant Clarksons: A person may release some of our data today

Semtex451
Silver badge
Coat

Hacked Brit shipping giant Clarksons

Theres a smaller version of Jeremy to get as stocking fillers for your loved ones.

21
0

The End of Abandondroid? Treble might rescue Google from OTA Hell

Semtex451
Silver badge
Gimp

I know some folk on Gingerbread, but these types don't care when they really should.

5
4

Watchkeeper drones cost taxpayers ONE BEEELLION POUNDS

Semtex451
Silver badge

Re: In the 60s a the height of the cold war the Russians invented the ultimate weapon.

I thought that was HMSO.

Oh I see.

11
0

Lock them up and throw away the (don)key

Semtex451
Silver badge

Re: Imprisoned?

After 4 days they're all expert at lock picking now

5
1

Royal Navy destroyer leaves Middle East due to propeller problems

Semtex451
Silver badge

Re: Sand I guess.

@ Voyna i Mor - "The real reason for the Iran/US conflict is the way that the Iranians successfully deployed low-tech sand against high-tech US helicopters. Defense contractors have never forgiven them."

Now if you'd said Iraq it would have made more sense.

0
1
Semtex451
Silver badge

Re: Sand I guess.

Iran/US conflict? Did I miss another war?

0
1
Semtex451
Silver badge
Coat

Navy Lark Questions (@TRT -:you beat me to it again)

A propeller problem? Don't we call that a 'screw' up in Navyspeak?

What can go wrong with a screw? Is it loose on the shaft?

Blades fell off? It fell off?

And the crew are unable to repair it? Am I missing something?

11
1

Military test centre for frikkin' laser cannon opens in Hampshire

Semtex451
Silver badge
Pint

You could easily fit that to a whale

But could people please stop saying "hence why". 'Hence' makes the 'why' redundant.

36
1

Forget Sesame Street, scientists pretty much watched Big Bird evolve on Galápagos island

Semtex451
Silver badge
Alien

New finch species developed in just two generations

If only you Humans would develop in two generations.

16
1

Seek 'passion' and tech skills will follow, say recruiting security chiefs

Semtex451
Silver badge

Re: entrants should "demonstrate their passion"

Simple, finding ITSec bodies that really give a sh*t is neigh-on impossible, as I find is the case in many other IT spheres.

Irrespective of aptitude, if you don't actually care, you're going to be worse than useless.

6
0
Semtex451
Silver badge

Re: "Good grief", said Charlie Brown.

Its a good point but, but if an IT generalist can demonstrate that they actively think about the ramifications of their technical decisions, they could be given that opportunity.

8
0

Clone poster girl Dolly the sheep's arthritis was 'normal for her age'

Semtex451
Silver badge
Windows

Royal (Dick) School of Veterinary Studies at the University of Edinburgh

Is that a dig at HRH The Duke of Edinburgh?

4
0

This is peak AI: Bot to guest edit Radio 4's Today programme

Semtex451
Silver badge
Pirate

Erm ....Hang on

"This year "artificial intelligence" has taken over from "behavioural economics" or "climate change" as the topic every BBC Radio 4 programme must mention, as frequently as possible, regardless."

Seems to me El Reg is as guilty of this type of thing as R4

9
0
Semtex451
Silver badge
Windows

Christmas guest editor lineup:

So who are all those other people in the guest lineup?

5
0

Why Boston Dynamics' backflipping borg shouldn't scare you

Semtex451
Silver badge

Re: That is the question...

Everyone knows only Cylons can make toast.

8
0

They've only gone and made a chemical-threat-detecting ring

Semtex451
Silver badge

Someone should invent glasses that become opaque when there's any danger in the immediate area

25
0

Overdraft-fiddling hackers cost banks in Eastern Europe $100m

Semtex451
Silver badge
Coat

Is this the FBI getting "payback"?

1
0

How many times can Microsoft kill Mobile?

Semtex451
Silver badge

You should work where I work

15
0

1,000 jobs on the line at BAE Systems' Lancashire plants – reports

Semtex451
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: The unfortunate thing about this

Colourful. Passionate. Accurate.

8
1
Semtex451
Silver badge
Coat

Or just buy more and park them so as to cover the dead zones.

Off to work in sales

0
0

Blade Runner 2049 review: Scott's vision versus Villeneuve's skill

Semtex451
Silver badge

I too will venture back to a cinema to watch this Villeneuve sequel.

The original film, I believe, is a miracle. But a miracle that even Scott would admit he unsympathetically watched built, and was unhappy with. Unhappy, not because it was artistically imperfect but because he thought that every aspect of it was flawed, right down to the novel, screenplay and in fact the entire sci-fi genre. I've watched about 30 hours of early interviews with him on Alien and Bladerunner and he (once) despised having to work on Sci-fi, thinking himself above "all that rubbish". I'm petty, and still hold that against him.

5
2

Guntree v Gumtree: Nominet orders gun ads site must lose domain

Semtex451
Silver badge
Facepalm

ditto Schpock.

Which catches us Vulcans out routinely btw, there is nothing logical about it.

6
0
Semtex451
Silver badge
Pint

So if I register Mike.com can I have Nike done for cybersquatting?

I obviously can't think of anything funny to say coz its been a long week so I'm off t'pub

22
8

30 strong fingers but still no happy ending for robotic back rub

Semtex451
Silver badge

Re: Sounds about right

They're already at my work, the folk that make all humans want to kill themselves to escape.

Every other person.

3
0
Semtex451
Silver badge
Pint

Alright Dabsy I'll bite

About your entry for the 2000AD script-writing competition, could we have that serialised in these hollowed pages please?

I do mean hollowed.

6
0
Semtex451
Silver badge
Headmaster

OK this annoys me

The Dutch, they come from Holland, but they live in The Netherlands and speak Dutch - NOOO

They are from Nederland and they speak Nederlandse. FIN

3
1

Microsoft downplays alarm over Windows Defender 'flaw'

Semtex451
Silver badge
Windows

*Boatload*

Look I can't see *Boatload* listed on the El Reg or SI Unit tables.

Could someone help or put me out to pasture (rivet gun)?

5
0

Yahoo! search! results!, recommendations!, ad! flinging! code! is! now! open! source!

Semtex451
Silver badge
Happy

Vespa- It means wasp, it doesn’t mean moped.

Thanks for that article I learned something

3
0

Page:

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2017