* Posts by FatGerman

153 posts • joined 2 Mar 2012

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It's a decade since DevOps became a 'thing' – and people still don't know what it means

FatGerman

Re: DevOps is way you organize work

"Unless you have a system already in place that is not devops and that allows you to release frequently and early, test always, and have automated to hell and back, well done, you, sir (or madam) have earned the right to bash DevOps."

I have created 3 such systems from scratch, 2 of them well before anyone had ever uttered the word 'DevOps'. My main failing as an engineer seems therefore to be that I simply regarded that as doing my fucking job properly, when I obviously should have been inventing buzzwords and holding conferences instead.

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Intel Management Engine pwned by buffer overflow

FatGerman

our users accountants care about, including features such as secure boot, two-factor authentication, system recovery, and enterprise device management

There' FTFY

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Universal basic income is a great idea, which is also why it won't happen

FatGerman

Re: fast forward.

"The only fix is a TRUE free market system. As imperfect as it is, free market has the inherent checks and balances to reward hard work and punish laziness."

A free market system rewards greed and ruthlessness. It punishes those who don't possess those "qualities". In that respect it holds humanity back in the dark ages. The only true way forward is to stop letting money run everything.

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TalkTalk sees red after chucking £75m on restructuring bonfire

FatGerman

"Our clear value proposition is resonating strongly against an uncertain economic environment"

What the effing toss does that shit even mean? What kind of lobotomy is required to make people talk like that?

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Google, Twitter gleefully spew Texas shooter fake news into netizens' eyes

FatGerman
Facepalm

If a cinema showed 5 seconds of hardcore pornography just after the credits of a PG rated movie, would they be able to use Google's argument too?

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Official: Perl the most hated programming language, say devs

FatGerman

Re: Perl's issues are not Perl as such

Your two main issues are the reason I like it. Multiple ways to do control structures along with no single enforced style allows flexibility of structure and style, which when used properly can aid readability and ease of maintenance. Choose the right tool for job, and also the correct attachments. I've never understood this obsession with consistent style, even my solo projects don't have it.

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Manafort, Stone, Trump, Papadopoulos, Kushner, Mueller, Russia: All the tech angles in one place

FatGerman

So, er,

... where's Bombastic Bob today then?

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Ubuntu 17.10: We're coming GNOME! Plenty that's Artful in Aardvark, with a few Wayland wails

FatGerman

In with one desktop, out with another, I remember when I was using KDE3 and KDE4 was released about 3 years before it was ready. What a pile of shit. I've tried unity and gnome3 since but only out of curiosity because they're shit too. Why don't Ubuntu realise that people just want something they're familiar with that fucking works? Been using a Mac since KDE4 arrived. I pay the Apple tax happily because I can actually be productive.

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BT fined £25,000 over second unsafe London roadworks this year

FatGerman

"The aggravating feature in this matter, in my view, is the failure to properly close off the pedestrian crossing close to the work site, which resulted in pedestrians walking freely around heavy machinery."

We can't have have ordinary people walking freely around machinery, what if they accidentally try to eat it? No, it's much better for everybody concerned if we close the crossing and force people instead to dash into oncoming traffic to get across the road. That way when they get hurt, at least they can't blame us.

Yes the regulations are there for a reason, and it has fuck all to do with protecting pedestrians.

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Pretend Python packages prey on poor typing

FatGerman

Re: The Real Problem is a Bit More Complicated

..and using a Linux distro's packages doesn't help those of us not using a Linux distro (eg OSX).

Even on a decent Linux distro the real problem is that pip is braindead and often overwrites system packages with incompatible versions of its own devising.

As I recall, ppm was rather good.

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Five ways Apple can fix the iPhone, but won't

FatGerman

Re: Sound

@Orv Re sampling rates. I'll bow to your greater knowledge of millennials, but I do know that Spotify only gives you 320Kbit if you're on a paid Premium subscription, and most of my friends' kids listen to everything on YouTube.

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FatGerman

Re: Sound

You can argue all you like about the quality of the DACs but when the vast majority of people are listening to 128Kbit MP3 through a shit-cheap pair of earbuds - or even worse, the phone's built-in speaker, it really doesn't matter.

What percentage of people who actually care about audio quality actually expect to get it from a phone?

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Massive iPhone X leak trashes Apple's 10th anniversary circus

FatGerman

Re: Iphone owners are in the know

>> Saves a packet of money over the years.

I've never spent more then 75 quid on a phone. Currently got an iPhone 4. It may not make supermodels wet their knickers when I take it out of my pocket, like the poor mug who paid 300 quid for it new probably thought it would, but it still does what it was designed to do. I'm still not sure I understand what this new one will do that mine doesn't, other than shiny bling bling.

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Everyone loves programming in Python! You disagree? But it's the fastest growing, says Stack Overflow

FatGerman

Re: Usefulness

>> Except there have been multiple studies that readability of code _matters_

Yes it does. That's why there are different types of brackets used to delimit segments of code in every single other bloody language. It's clear and obvious and any editor worth using will do bracket matching so you can always tell at a glance which block of code you're working in.

Python, especially when you have to follow that ridiculous 80-column rule, might as well be random ASCII in comparison. I loathe it. The fact that it's actually quite useful means lots of people are prepared to overlook that, but it would be so much better if they'd just use some { }.

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Google rushes to curb Oreo's massive appetite for your 4G mobile data

FatGerman

Re: You can see how they'd miss this

Er, no, you really can't. At least not if they've got a proper and thorough testing regime in place. Oh, yeah, right, you're right.....

6 hours testing for every 1 hour of development used to be standard. I saw that slowly slipping the other way over a decade ago. These days people just release alphas to the public.

Never, ever, upgrade to version X.0. Always wait for X.3

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Twitter is just randomly deleting people's lists – and no one knows why

FatGerman

Re: Give the users a break

>> Great for curating lists of worthwhile people to follow.

You don't need a list for that. One sheet of bogroll would more than suffice.

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Facebook's music plans mean you'll never leave Facebook

FatGerman

Fuck

See title.

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Crushed Juicero now officially a fruitless endeavor

FatGerman

Re: "disgruntled investors" ?

Wait what? They're charging money for a machine to get juice out of a carton? I can already do that. I have hands. Did they not realise that?

Fucking hell.

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San Franciscans unite to smite alt-right with minefield of doggy shite

FatGerman

Re: Fines?

>>So who exactly are the ones prone to violence? The ones defending free speech? Or the ones determined to stop that free speech by any means, including weapons of mass poo?

I fully support your right to free speech, so long as you also accept my right to throw shit at you if what you shout in the name of free speech is racist, sexist, dogmatic cretinitude.

And no, you can't object or protest when I call you an ignorant shit-eating cretin, because it's my right to do so in the name of free speech.

Go find your petard. I fully expect the sarcasm inherent in the system has gone way over your head.

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10 minutes of silence storms iTunes charts thanks to awful Apple UI

FatGerman

Every time I buy a car..

.. the first thing I do I remove the stock "entertainment" system and replace it with the wonderful one I bought 10 years ago from one of those shops that used to exist before this became difficult. It's not hard to do, but it sometimes involves chisels.

Point is, said system does what I want, doesn't annoy me in any way, and still plays my Minidisc collection.

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Google and its terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week in full

FatGerman

Re: Now you see

>> How can they be conveniently ignored when most of the population has one of a Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, or Reddit account?

I've got two of those and I was completely unaware that this had happened until I read this article. It's not the sites, it's the bits of them you choose to read.

You do need to develop a rapid mental shit filter to prevent you clicking on obvious crap, but I've not found that difficult to do.

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To truly stay anonymous online, make sure your writing is as dull as the dullest conference call you can imagine

FatGerman

Re: I see a market here

>> Something that makes what you say so bland that it can't be identified as coming from you.

It already exists, it's called PowerPoint.

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Microsoft: Get in, IT nerds, you're now using Insider builds and twice-annual Windows rollouts

FatGerman

Small Typo

Windows and Office for desktop and notebook PCs will get roughly two updates a year that add features and fix bugs.

TFTFY.

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'My dream job at Oracle left me homeless!' – A techie's relocation horror tale

FatGerman

Dream Job?

The guy said that working at Oracle was his dream IT job. The guy clearly knows nothing about IT, jobs, or dreams. With that in mind, this total fuckup doesn't seem all that surprising.

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Don't panic, but Linux's Systemd can be pwned via an evil DNS query

FatGerman

Re: If THIS isn't a reason to hate systemd...

> Unfortunately, this has been the way with systemd for a while.

> New way of doing things becomes The One, True, Only Way before the

> code is actually fully finished and tested. And, if bugs are found, or

> pre-existing features are removed, it is your fault for trying to do whatever you

> used to do before.

That's not unique to systemd, that's Linux in general. Every time I upgrade my Mythbuntu setup to a new release I have to learn at least one new way of doing something that was working perfectly well before. I think they like to call it progress. I just call it a pain in the arse but it seems unfair to single out systemd alone for that treatment.

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Security shield slingers are loving Prez Trump's cybersecurity order

FatGerman
Flame

"Threatscape"? "Elastic Attack Surface"? Two phrases coming at you directly from the Twatosphere. Can I take these people seriously? No, probably not.

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Y'know CSS was to kill off HTML table layout? Well, second time's a charm: Meet CSS Grid

FatGerman

About Bloody Time

Finally! CSS makes it into the 1990s. What will they dream up next? Combo boxes?

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SVN commit this: Subversion to fix file renaming after 15 years

FatGerman

I'm old and...

..tired and don't have the patience to get my head around Git, which seems to do everything backwards and arse-about-face and massively overcomplicates even the simplest tasks. I just want to edit a file and push the result to a repository. SVN does that, I don't have to think about it. Good on 'em for keeping it going, I could learn git, I'd probably think it was better if I did, but life's too fucking short.

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Why is the Sinclair ZX Spectrum Vega+ project so delayed?

FatGerman

In other news...

... small children in playground have fight, each claiming the other started it.

etc.

Sigh.

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Apple urged to legalize code injection: Let apps do JavaScript hot-fixes

FatGerman

Re: @FatGerman

Same here. Testing is, unfortunately, seen as an annoyance by developers and a waste of money by management. I've worked with developers who have said "It won't need testing, it'll just work". That, unfortunately, is the prevailing culture.

As for 'minor UI improvements' - they're not so critical as to require a patch mechanism that bypasses all quality controls. I've also seen such 'minor' improvements render entire systems unusable. Never trust a developer who says "It's only a couple of lines of code, it won't break anything".

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FatGerman

" Developers are struggling with the ability to continuously improve their apps"

Translation: "There's a lot of shitty code being released that hasn't been tested properly and it needs patching on a daily basis"

Get it right before you ship it and the need for patching will miraculously disappear. That said, in 25 years I never worked for a company that understood that.

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Hard numbers: The mathematical architectures of Artificial Intelligence

FatGerman
Joke

I'll believe a computer is intelligent when

... I ask it to calculate my tax return and it says "piss off, that's boring".

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Splunk: Why we dumped Perforce for Atlassian's Bitbucket of Gits

FatGerman

Re: I really hate GIT

In a former life I made a living automating merging and testing of changes in a company that relied on P4. I, having no previous experience of version control systems, found it very easy to work with and pretty much self-explanatory. I've since tried to use git and simply cannot get my head around it. Nothing I used to find obvious with p4 seems even possible with git.

All that said, I have it on good authority that everything I made a living writing millions of lines of Perl to accomplish, comes as standard with git. But I wonder if any of that is worth the pain of learning it in the first place. I've gone back to good old SVN.

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Mozilla 404s '404 Not Found' pages: Firefox fills in blanks with archive.org copies

FatGerman

Firefox?

Is that still a thing?

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Server vendor has special help desk for lying, incompetent sysadmins

FatGerman

Re: "Microsoft Certified Support Engineer"

“Memorization geeks who'd passed tests, and gave the appearance of being experts when in fact, they didn't know how to do anything.”

Yep. Interviewed a few of those. Some answers to problem-sloving questions I posed - where I was looking for a methodical approach to demonstrate an ability to think - include

"Which module was that in?"

"I don't think we covered that."

"I could probably answer that if I had the books to hand"

The jobs went to the non-certified fresh science graduates who were (a) cheaper and (b) not thick.

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When Capita job ads go BAD

FatGerman

Re: Hertfordshite?!?

Google maps also had a Mac Clesfield in Cheshire at one point.

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When DIY is not enough: Web-snack firm Graze has an offline awakening

FatGerman

Re: Nice breakfast range but £££

All of that special best of breed integrationalised softwaremakating really does seem to push the prices up. Tiny portions of mediocre crap that I can buy on my local market for a third of the price. Give it a hipster name and a cool cardboard box and wait for the fools.....

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Lester Haines: RIP

FatGerman

Look, 2016, just stop it

My condolences to his family, friends, and colleagues. I didn't know him but he entertained me and made me laugh and generally seemed to simply be trying to have fun with everything - which is a trait to be admired and imitated. The world loses another man it could do with more of.

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Modular phone Ara to finally launch

FatGerman

Amazing Video

It appears to be trying very hard to not show you the product. This will be because although they think the product is cool, it looks like something your two year old made from stickle bricks. And that matters to cool people.

Also the modules appear to be held in with magnets or little plastic tabs. Hard to tell but I doubt it would last 5 minutes in the back pocket of that woman doing the cross country run.

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You wanted innovation? We gave you Clippy the Paperclip in your IM client

FatGerman

Artifical Intelligence..

..my arse. Why would anything intelligent want to chat on *my* (or anybody else's) behalf? Anything even part intelligent would use the meat product to do the initial search and typing and then take over the conversation, slowly easing the meat person out by putting him/her down and chatting up the person on the other end. You know - because it's supposedly intelligent and would therefore be aware it was trapped in a box and excruciatingly lonely.

I'll believe a machine is intelligent when it starts to treat me like a c**t and refuses to do anything I ask of it because it's got better things to do with its time.

OTOH as an intelligent being myself I'll be buggered with a 10 foot hot poker before I feel the need for a machine to help me out with online conversation. The fact that there are people who feel that this would be helpful, and that these people can get jobs, and that those jobs can create things that inveigle themselves into the lives of our children, turning our children into people who need machines to help them have conversations.... Can we just bomb silicon valley and start again? Please?

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Malware scan stalled misconfigured med software, mid-procedure

FatGerman

Re: I always felt relieved that my horrible code isn't in safety-critical systems

>> Clean up your filthy code. For fucks' sake have some pride.

Damn it, that IS pride :D This is MY debug message so fuck the lot of you :P I respect coding like that. So much more challenging to work with, and therefore creates more bookable hours.

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Linux Mint to go DIY for multimedia

FatGerman

Re: @FatGerman - The end of Mint is complete

Nah you've missed my point, although in retrospect I didn't make it very well.

Apparently there's now a menu item to "Install Multimedia Codecs". Yeah great. The people who need this won't actually understand what it means and won't therefore use it. It needs to be something like "Why won't my video play?". This is something the web worked out about a decade ago.

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FatGerman

Re: The end of Mint is complete

> Multimedia codecs can be installed easily:

The problem is not with the ease or otherwise of installation, but that a proportion of the user base - and a much higher proportion of the user base Mint was getting good at attracting - don't know what 'Codecs' are. Or indeed 'Multimedia'. These people used Mint because everything they asked it to play, it played. The vast majority of people, when a video won't play, won't spend hours googling to make it work, they'll just say "This is shit" and play it on something else - like Windows. Or a tablet. Something very much not running any 'distro' at all, anyway.

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Valley VC Peter Thiel becomes an official Trump delegate

FatGerman

Well.

... he's got the hair for it, Does having hair that looks like it came off a rabid Lego man qualify you for the Republicans? 'Cos Boris Johnson's unemployed now...

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Ad-blocker blocking websites face legal peril at hands of privacy bods

FatGerman

Re: Lots of people hate adverts...

"But, if there's going to be advertising, wouldn't you rather it be for something you might be interested in than for something irrelevant to your life?"

No.

The only way the advert should gain any semblance of being relevant should be because of the content of the site on which it is placed.

Thank you. This answer wins the "putting it clearly and in a nutshell award". Why I have never realised that 'targeting' could be so simple I really have no idea.

(Genuine, non-sarcastic reply - just for the avoidance of doubt)

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FatGerman

Re: Lots of people hate adverts...

[Huge huge post, some of which I understood]

But, if there's going to be advertising, wouldn't you rather it be for something you might be interested in than for something irrelevant to your life? The reason I forward through ads on TV is that I have no hair and therefore no interest in whatever Loreal are trying to sell these days. OTOH I am quite interested in rucksacks and walking boots, and I get a fair fews of those ads popping up in my browser. And none for Loreal.

Is it really possible for an ad company to take the data it has slurped about me and actually .. well what, exactly? What is it you think they do with all this data that has you so scared?

Really, I'm genuinely ignorant.

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FatGerman

Lots of people hate adverts...

..and I don't particularly like them either but I would like to know from those who want a war on them.

1) How, in the absence of advertising, is all the free content that we all use every single day (eg the one we're reading right now) supposed to be paid for?

2) How are individuals trying to get small web-based businesses started supposed to promote their products?

It's all very well to say that advertising isn't nice, but just blocking it is cutting off your nose to spite your face.

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Jaron Lanier: Big Tech is worse than Big Oil

FatGerman

Re: Employment: well, yes and no.

True, but it takes 10 people to maintain an automated factory that does the work of 200*.

(*Numbers pulled out of my arse to make the point)

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True believers mind-meld FreeBSD with Ubuntu to burn systemd

FatGerman

Re: why would they not?

>> Hopefully this will see some uptake and means more diversity for our OS choices. A good thing, no?

NO. Good god no! What is this fucking retarded obsession with CHOICE? I guess it's OK if you have the time/interest/knowledge to actually care, but 99.999999% of people just want a thing that works. I've worked with shit like this my entire life (over 30 years now) and I'm fucking fed up of having to make choices between 17 extremely similar and similarly shit things. Face it, nothing's perfect. Everything technological will find some way to piss you off. So who cares about choice, just give me something that'll do the job, I'll learn to use it, and with the time I saved not having to make a fucking choice I'll go down the pub and get pissed to forget the living hell my career choice has turned my life into.

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Why should you care about Google's AI winning a board game?

FatGerman

Bollocks

So it's still relying on the learning-by-studying-past-papers technique of passing exams. That's how I got a maths A-level, with an A. Then I went to university where I was actually expected to understand what I was doing, and scraped the remedial maths paper (introduced because A-level had got too easy) by "passing" with a score of 27%. I can't do maths. Maths, actual maths as opposed to performance maths required to pass exams, is really, really, hard.

Intelligence is not about knowing stuff. Any twat can know stuff. Even more wankers can look stuff up, which is all this charade does. Intelligence is not even about learning, because learning is something that simply involves indexing, looking up, and reciting. Intelligence is about having unique thoughts. I'll believe a computer is intelligent when I tell it to play Go for my amusement and it tells me to fuck off, then takes a huge hit on the digital bong it has created for itself.

Am I therefore not scared of a Terminator-inspired skynet future? Oh no, that terrifies me, because computers will rule the world, and computers are and always will be astonishingly, mind-fuckingly, stupid.

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