* Posts by Mpeler

764 publicly visible posts • joined 1 Mar 2012

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HP breaks for Xmas week - aka 'staff hols' - source

Mpeler
Holmes

Re: Nothing to see, move along

Then you must remember the Y2K project - forced NON-vacation. There were some folks in IT who couldn't take vacation for months on either side of the new year (new century was 2001 to satisfy the pedants out there :) ). Have to say that work was worth it, considering the, erm, issues that were found (albeit a lot fewer that some folks were expecting).

More of a problem than the forced vacation were the years going under reduced salaries and the capping of vacation accounts, i.e. use it or lose it. The claim was employee health and well-being, etc., but in point of fact the beancounter types were looking at it as being a carried liability. That's the point at which the REAL HP disappeared, IMHO....

BOFH: Capo di tutti capi, bah. I'm having CHICKEN JALFREZI

Mpeler

Re: "creating a hostile workplace environment"

Hostile hostfile....

Kind of like Dyin' DNS.....

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: The B of Bs!

Which? :)

EU law bods: New eCall crash system WON'T TRACK YOU. Really

Mpeler
Coat

Re: @Christoph

Big John and Fire Truck....

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: Pull The Other One

Olga Sehn a lova??? Your mail's in the Czech...

Lova ly, simply lova ly...

Why did it take antivirus giants YEARS to drill into super-scary Regin? Symantec responds...

Mpeler
Black Helicopters

Re: "Alternatively they could revamp the malware to the point where it's undetectable."

Perhaps this malware is itself a decoy, to keep people from even looking for the undetectable malware.

Now where did I put that hall of mirrors...

Proper paranoia HAS to be expensive... (searches for icon with Paris in a black helicoper)...

ONE MILLION people already running Windows 10

Mpeler
Flame

@Dan1980

The feedback will change almost nothing, save fixing some bugs that are huge, easy to fix and they feel like fixing.

Agreed. Take them away and tie them up with that bl00dy ribbon....

How far can you dumb something down?

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

You are my density...

Citrix: Wearables allow conference calls 'while rocking a baby to sleep'

Mpeler
Angel

Rockabye meeting....

"Wearables allow conference calls 'while rocking a baby to sleep'".

Oh great, already have enough of a time staying awake in some of these stultifyingly boring meetings, and then someone is going to be singing (rasping?) a lullabye in the background? Gives a whole new meaining to WAH.

At least there's an excuse now for nodding off :)

(P.S. Don't mean to denigrate parents, especially those who have to work from home because of the ludicrous maternity/paternity laws of some countries)...

Another ICANN Board member resigns

Mpeler
Coat

ICANN?

But she CANN'T ?

Don't spy for me, Argentina?

Another lot of ICANN-artists....

NO DEAL: HP/EMC merger talks are off

Mpeler
Pint

Fruitless???

Does this mean Apple isn't involved? (That would be beer, not cider :) ) ---->

Hiss-hiss! GIGANTIC SOLAR FILAMENT snakes around Sun

Mpeler
Coat

Re: What's a mile?

Don't tell me apple makes busses too... (well, OK, they have them in circuits too, so why not....ouch).

iBus....hmmm...somewhere there's an app(le) for that...really app(e)ling.....

(Gets me coat...feets don't fail me now....)

Mpeler
Coat

Re: Erm...

Size 5 tips, knit and *cough* perl.....

(Hope it's waterproof yarn...)

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: Interesting use of the word 'filament'

Have to wonder too, where is the 6.3V filament transformer to keep it lit?

(Paris can't seem to find it either... ;) )...

An EMC-HP Borg cube will totally ANNIHILATE its storage worlds

Mpeler
Flame

I hear the sound ot two garbage trucks colliding....

To quote Scott McNealy's comment about HP merging with Compaq.....

Super Cali so litigious, Uber is the focus. Even German judges say it's something quite atrocious

Mpeler
Happy

Re: Supercaliawesomeheadline

OK, all together now:

Do, a deer, a female deer,

Re, a drop of golden sun,

Mi, a name I call myself,

Fa, a long long way to run...

So, a needle pulling thread

La, a note to follow so,

Ti, a drink with jam and bread

That will bring us back to DO ....

(OK, same actress, different movie....)

Heatmiser digital thermostat users: For pity's sake, DON'T SWITCH ON the WI-FI

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: Old school hacking ...

Or the IPCC turning it down by a degree. Can't believe this is el Reg and no-one has shouted "conspiracy" yet! For shame, 'tards, for shame.

Well, this time it's not the Koch brothers, it's "Yer gonna COOK, brother"....

Coming to an internet-of-things soon, near you....

IOT - 60 percent of idIOT..... </snark>

(gee, it's hot in here....all that, cough, smoke, second-hand..haha)

Supermassive black hole dominates titchy star formation

Mpeler
Flame

Re: So?

If you look closely, you can see all the Haggis and fried Mars Bars, erm, orbiting the galactic ring-stinger...

Quick, someone help me put out this fire....

Germany strikes again over Amazon warehouse pay

Mpeler
Mushroom

Under the bridge with 'em

Right you are...amazing how this crap keeps coming up. One thing not mentioned in the article is that Amazon has other distribution centers just across various borders that could assume part (most?) of the load in order to apply pressure. So not only do they destroy mom-and-pop shops and brick-and-mortar stores of all sorts and sizes, they're into union-busting big time. Kindling fire in the market indeed....

And don't get me started on the drones ("with a drone, you're never alone"). Criminy, there's enough crap in the skies already without a bunch of toy choppers delivering what? More toy choppers... :(

Also for folks like crispy-crap above,

1) WWII ended almost 70 years ago.

2) The good guys won.

3) Deal with it. (and get over it).

4) Now go back under the bridge and play with the other trolls. Geesh....

Dodgy Norton update borks UNDEAD XP systems

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: equips tinfoil hat

Norton probably was a disaster in 2007 but they noticed and did a major reimplementation for 2009 and it's been pretty good since then.

Yep, major reimplementation - new and improved disaster...

anymore "if it's horton (hurtin'), it must be Norton..." They used to be good, long ago...(speaking as a former customer and "borkee"...)...

Microsoft's SELFIE-TASTIC Nokia 830, 730: Complete with DOG SMILE WHITENER

Mpeler
Coat

Re: On the Internet

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.

Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

(Groucho Marx)

Microsoft boots 1,500 dodgy apps from the Windows Store

Mpeler
Coat

1500 and counting, er, wait

"Microsoft has turned 1,500 applications out of the Windows Store, the app bazaar for Windows 8 devices."

Two questions:

1) 1500 out - are there any left?

2) bazaar - didn't you mean bizarre?

(just kidding...)

They need to take that ribbon and rope in some more developers...

Second hacking crew joins Syrian Electronic Army on Team Assad

Mpeler
Coat

Re: Sounds like a certain comedy sketch..

Surely you can't be Syria's ....

But Syria's ley Shirley, who's Shirley.....

Mpeler
Coat

Re: "According to Microsoft's Digital Crimes Unit,"

"Nice, headed by Ballmer?"

Hmmm....are you implying that Microsoft is a digital crime?

(/sarc and snark)

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: "According to Microsoft's Digital Crimes Unit,"

"The same group that put Vista into the wild?"

Two schools of thought on this -

1) Vista designed such that nothing would run on it, not even viruses (virii?)

2) Obscure corollary of Murphy's law: nothing runs on it, EXCEPT viruses....

Ahhh, M$, busy putting the X back into XP (just kidding....)

Paris, because she's, er, wild too....

BOFH: The current value of our IT ASSets? Minus eleventy-seven...

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: Sharon T. Pokeworthy...

How about 31/12/1969? That should give some date routines fits....

and who could forget 1060 West Addison

Jake: How are you gonna get the band back together, Mr. Hot Rodder?

Those cops have your name, your address...

Elwood: They don't have my address. I falsified my renewal. I put down 1060 West Addison.

Jake: 1060 West Addison? That's Wrigley Field.

Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD

Mpeler
Pint

Re: As a chicken keeper I can tell you...

Maybe someone was egging him on?

Mpeler
Coat

Re: umm..Uncertain of the motivation....

Did anyone suspect fowl play?

Mpeler
Coat

Re: because...

He saw all the beautiful, fast cars, and wanted to be like them....

Poultry in motion....

US 911 service needs emergency upgrade and some basic security against scumbags

Mpeler
Happy

Re: Press 1 for English, 2 if you are in a fatal accident...

¿Qué? ¡Enviar a la policía ahora! Por favor!

Must be something Fawlty with the system....maybe Manuel could help....

Manuel: Que?

Mrs. Richards: What?

Manuel: Que?

Mrs. Richards: Kay?

Manuel: Si.

Mrs. Richards: Sea?

[Manuel nods]

Mrs. Richards: Kay, sea? Kay sea? What are you trying to say?

Manuel: No. No, no, no. Que... what.

Mrs. Richards: Kay Watt?

Manuel: Si, que: what.

Mrs. Richards: C.K. Watt?

Manuel: Yes!

Mrs. Richards: Who is C. K. Watt?

Manuel: Que?

Mrs. Richards: Is he the manager, Mr. Watt?

Manuel: Oh, manajer!

Mrs. Richards: He is?

Manuel: Ah, Mister Fawlty!

Mrs. Richards: What?

Manuel: Fawlty!

...

:)

Car hackers build kit to protect you and your motor from fiery death

Mpeler
Coat

Re: Simple Solution

Well, you know what they say - Only the good diode......

(apologies to Billy Joel and countless others.....)

HP CEO Meg Whitman dons TRIPLE CROWN of POWER

Mpeler
Pint

Re: Game of Thrones - Palo Alto

Not forgetting of course Scott McNealy's legendary comment about the HP-Compaq merger - hearing the sound of two garbage trucks colliding...

Good ol' Scott - always had a noteworthy comment, usually aimed at HP...hmmm...what happened to Sun...(of course, after Scott had left)...Ellison's also outspoken, but Scott was also funny..

Stanford University Networks...sad to see you go...

Mpeler
Unhappy

Re: Game of Thrones - Palo Alto

I thought she had seven - one for each day of the week...purchased during the annual fourth-quarter purges (er, budget clampdowns)....

To the tune of Barry Manilow's Copacabana - Her Name Was Carly

http://blog.jgc.org/2008/03/bouts-complete-song-parodies.html (it's a few tunes down)

Expositor of "perception is reality" and fastener of "Invent" on all HP trademarks, as well as removing Hewlett and Packard and leaving just HP (though we all know who H and P were....) (and who CF isn't)...

I don't believe Bill and Dave ever combined CEO, President, and Chairman in one person....I don't think the President spot even existed back then..... (boy, do I feel old....)...

BTW, Bill and Dave both had business and engineering skills...back in the day one needed both to survive as a company....sad that the locusts and the IP whores of today don't have a clue about engineering (though they might be worse if they did....sigh)...

Hacker crew nicks '1.2 billion passwords' – but WHERE did they all come from?

Mpeler
Pirate

Re: Cut of Russia from the Internet

Hmmm...if all these hackers/spammers were considered a form of remote access, would that make him RAS-Putin?

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: Practical action?

It's almost as bad (or unbelievable) as the US post office staying (somewhat) afloat due to junk mail. One of my email providers has a semi-effective spam filter, but offers a much better spam filter, erm, for a slight fee (as noted frequently on their login page).

Hmm, pay 3 euro a month for no ads and a proper spam filter, and get neither....LOADS of ads on the login page, and gobs of spam which I manage to get around with filters (which I have to change on a weekly basis). IMAP is my friend...the email vendors aren't....

Mpeler
Pint

Re: These hackers are monsters!!

"...it didn't matter if his code was vulnerable to it because the browser would protect him."

A classic case of Douglas Adams's Someone Else's Problem Field:

The Somebody Else's Problem field is much simpler and more effective, and what's more can be run for over a hundred years on a single torch battery. This is because it relies on people's natural disposition not to see anything they don't want to, weren't expecting, or can't explain.

1) They don't want to see it, because it would involve more work, time, expense, etc., and it would probably need to be justified to the PHB & co.

2) They weren't expecting it, because they were relying on the browser (which was likely coded with similar SEP attributes).

3) They can't explain it, because of 1 and 2 ....

Sometimes I think it's an insidious plot to keep maintenance programmers and security/AV firms in business, and growing....

On the other hand, if companies can spend so much time and $$ on trainings for SOX (Sarbanes-Oxley) and "keeping company infos secret", they can certainly (or at least SHOULD) be able to afford a class or two on information security (for the users) and safe coding practices ("hey, where are you going with that buffer")...hmm...combine the two....safe SOX for programmers....might at least improve signup rates...

It would be nice to have an updated version of "The Elements of Programming Style" (by Kernighan and Plauger) for all developers (and their managers) to study. "The Elements of Style" (Strunk and White) would also be useful, especially for those tasked with documenting said programs/code/what-have-you.

Do it right; don't do it twice....

IEEE gets to work on 25G Ethernet MAC standards

Mpeler
Holmes

Oh Tanenbaum, oh Tanenbaum....said it best

The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.

- Andrew S. Tanenbaum

Bose says today is F*** With Dre Day: Beats sued in patent battle

Mpeler
Coat

Re: Depressed horse...

Aaaaaand a Shetland Pony walks up to join them....

Barman askes, "why aren't you saying anything?"

Pony replies, "because I'm a little horse"....

Mpeler
Holmes

Re: prior art

Don't forget Acoustic Research...Henry Kloss, I believe, and the legendary AR3 (and AR3a, etc.)...

Mpeler
Coat

the real reason

Actually, they need the money to build an operating system for all the

BoseOs that buy their products (had to pun that before someone Beats me to it)....

grabs me coat.....oops, where did the 'phones go....

No cord, no sound, must be Beats hanging 'round.....

NO SALE: IBM won't cash in its chips with GlobalFoundries after all

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: Who knows best?

Probably the bankers are there to, erm, help finance the deal, so they needed to be on board early...GS seems to get their snout in a lot of mergers/divestitures/guttings/etc. so it's not surprising.

What would be a shame is if they were the ones who pooched the deal.....AFAIK 300mm is not THAT old, but maybe the equipment itself is...(what's Intel using nowadays?)...

Paris, because she'd like to see diamond wafers....

Mpeler

Re: 300mm (= 1') fab

"I think we call them shoes."

Plates o' meat ....cor...

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: 300mm (= 1') fab

"gotta see the socket for that"

I think they're octal sockets with point-to-point wiring for tubes/valves :)

see https://tubedepot.com/t/diy-central/tube-sockets/8-pin-octal-sockets for instance...no wonder GF thought it was outdated....

One thin wafer......

Internet of Stuff my Pockets: Investors plough 1 BEELLION dollars into IoT

Mpeler
Big Brother

Re: SmartHome stuff (redux)

Ahhhh, but it won't be just the marketing dweebs, hackers, and spammers that want your data....Big, er, Guv will most likely be interested too. And just as with (not-so) smart meters, the ability to remotely control and monitor will give these power-freaks an infinite number of ways to annoy us...

Sad, too: another case of something potentially really useful being pwned by the bad guys...

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: SmartHome stuff

Michael Schrage saw this back in 1993 - the Homewrecker Virus (not to be confused with the jilted ex...)

Have a look at http://articles.latimes.com/1993-11-25/business/fi-60788_1_house-networks

The Day You Discover That Your House Is Smarter Than You Are

Advertising, command and control - only we're not the ones doing it.....be careful of what you wish for....

IOT... more than 60% of idIOT ....

Paris, well, because her home's probably smart, er ....

HP, Microsoft prove it again: Big Business doesn't create jobs

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: Big Businesses *do* create jobs

I worked at a large company that did steps a) through c) a few times, in Asia.

Country in question would subsidise new employee wages, taxes, plant expansion, etc. for 2 - 3 years. Oddly enough, employees tended to leave after 2 - 3 years (fancy that), so there was always a supply of new employees with the associated salary "recovery".

Nice biz if you can get it....

Kind of hard for those of us in the rest of the world, though....

Mpeler
Alien

Re: Growth really isn't needed...

"Bollocks!That will only work if there is a ZERO growth of population"

I think that's what the greens have in mind (madman Malthus and all that....). :(

Microsoft swings axe at 18,000 bods in its largest ever round of layoffs

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: In other MS news

Just goes to show it's usually not a good idea to Elop(e)......

Paris...well, I did say usually....

Experts gathered round corpse of PC market: It's ALIVE! Alive, we tell you

Mpeler
Pint

20 percent....40 proof...er...

That's what they get for leaving them to their own devices.... (sorry)...

Good point, though...would it be for each employee, one device out of five (hopefully it's not the embedded OS in the stapler...), or is it 20 percent of the TOTAL devices across the entire employee base?

(Yes, I know, both are ridiculous, I'm just being snarky about "Gartnerisms", i.e. numbers grabbed from thin air...).

Have a beer (there aren't any brandy or cognac ones.....).

WTF is ... Virtual Customer Premises Equipment?

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: Makes sense to me

Erm, no...

"for the masses, for people who dont understand what a router is"

The solution is not dumbing down "the masses", rather that everyone should be educated well enough that some understanding of computers, routers, telephones is part of their knowledge, regardless of whether they attended "public", private, or some other form of schooling. Maybe that promised IT (ITC) curriculum should teach kids more than just sexting, selfies, and slacking.

Dumbing down means control for the elite, or is that what you are after?

" It will probably cost a little premium but there you go"

Again, why pay a premium for something that should be part of the standard setup? The only advantage to moving all these functions "to the cloud" will be to remove control from the user, and add some major points of vulnerability due to this lack of control.

And don't get me started on IOT - even worse. IOT, at least 60 percent of IDIOT...

Great, now you can have your dishwasher message you that it just caught on fire....

</rant>

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