* Posts by Mpeler

711 posts • joined 1 Mar 2012

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Man facing $17.5m HPE fraud case has contempt sentence cut by Court of Appeal

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: confused

"HP clearly doesnt like it when resellers turn a profit."

Yep.

Not like it was in the old days with Neely...

There. I'll bet nit Whitman (and the rest of the decrepit crew) have no idea of who Neely were (actually, was)...

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Mpeler

Re: Automatic halving of sentence - the joys of a stupid system

Don't be an asymptote...

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Mpeler
Big Brother

Re: Automatic halving of sentence - the joys of a stupid system

How about reducing the sentence by half, then the remaining sentence by half, then that by half, then that by half, again and again, ad infinitum.

He'll be in the slammer forever...

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Mpeler
Pint

Re: Automatic halving of sentence

"It doesn't say if he was released outright or released on licence."

Off Licence?

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BOFH: That's right. Turn it off. Turn it on

Mpeler
Holmes

Re: The power of suggestion defragged

"their standard instructions to callers were to defrag and reboot"
Would be interesting if they rebooted in the middle of the defrag.....

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Windows Insiders with SD cards turn into OneDrive outsiders

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: If this is all about Placeholders, here's one: The K Edition of Windows 10.

Yep. From "One Drive" to "NONE DRIVE".

Way to go, Satan Nutella, you've børked everyone again...

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Boffins with frickin' laser beams chase universe's mysterious trihydrogen

Mpeler
Coat

When all else fails, Trihydrogen...

A Trihydrogen atom walks into a bar, orders a drink and says to the bartender,

"I seem to have lost an electron"

Bartender asks, "are you sure?"

H³ replies, "I'm positive"...

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Intel AMT bug bit Siemens industrial PCs

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: Recall ?

Icahn. I sue. I sell.

Total Recall...

Let the games begin, with the corporate locusts.

AMT for thee, but not for me.

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Microsoft: We'll beef up security in Windows 10 Creators Edition Fall Update

Mpeler
Windows

Fail Edition?

Somehow I read Windows 10 Creators Edition Fail Update...

Those aren't bugs, they're features, er, opportunities, er, sales leads, er...

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BOFH: Putting the commitment into committee

Mpeler
Coat

Wifey dearest

I take it you A-Door her... :)

You'll be needing that coat, methinks...

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Microsoft founder Paul Allen reveals world's biggest-ever plane

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: Hang on...

"Any bald headed men with glowing eyes seen in the vicinity???"

Anyone see Steve Ballmer lately?

Paris is looking :)

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DXC Technology looks to lighten the payroll six weeks after launch

Mpeler
Mushroom

Acronym?

They're just a bunch of DX, C...

Bill and Dave continue to roll in their graves...

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Astroboffins stunned by biggest brown dwarf ever seen – just a hop and a skip away (750 ly)

Mpeler
Pint

Re: It's quite a small object (Far away - or not?)

"Sitting in the constellation of Pisces 750 light years away..."

Yes, I thought there was something fishy about that...

(Coat, check, towel, check, now for that Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster...)

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I've Been Moved: IBMers in same division slapped with 2nd redundo scheme in 2 months

Mpeler
Mushroom

I've Been Moved

IBM has always been referred to as "I've Been Moved", at least in the USA. For anyone with any hope of advancement (at least in the 1950s and 1960s), they needed to be prepared to move at the drop of a hat.

I had a former colleague who was asked to move; he replied that he needed to talk to his wife. Next thing that happened was that he was asked to leave, instead.

Over in Germany they say, "Immer besser manuell", roughly "always better by hand" (no comments there in the back row...). Seems Hacksaw Ginny has her hands on everyone's throats now...

Best wishes and condolences both for those leaving and those left. I expect the various shards of HP will follow in suit...

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Ubiquiti network gear can be 'hijacked by an evil URL' – thanks to its 20-year-old PHP build

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Ubiquity

Looks like the exploits coming up will be Ubiquitous...

Paris, because she's ubiquitous, too...

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BOFH: Don't back up in anger

Mpeler
Pint

Re: New technical terms.

"double ROT-13 only works with ascii for full Unicode compliance you need double ROT-557056"
Otherwise it's only half-ASCII...

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IBM could have made almost all the voluntary redundancies it needed

Mpeler
Mushroom

The good people

have already left...

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Lloyds to outsource 2,000 staff in IBM deal

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: Thanks for the heads up

"I'll start the process of moving my savings account away from Lloyds shortly."

If it hasn't been *cough* moved to India already...

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User lubed PC with butter, because pressing a button didn't work

Mpeler
Joke

Time for the BOFH

Or even the PFY.....

British or French hospitality?

An American tourist is visiting London. As he walks, he feels the urge to pee. He searches and searches, but does not find a toilet. Ever more desperate, he enters a tiny street, looks for a narrow and darker place, beside a tall wall and starts to unzip his pants. Suddenly from behind somebody taps his shoulder. He turns around and sees a policeman there.

"Sorry sir," says the policeman, "it is forbidden to urinate in public places."

The American apologizes, tells him that he had no luck in finding a toilet and just couldn't hold on anymore.

"Follow me, I will help you," says the policeman. He guides the tourist towards a gate in the wall and shows him the way inside. The tourist is amazed, as he sees himself in a gorgeous garden, full of flowers, arrangements, bushes and trees. The policeman leads him to one of the trees and says, "You can pee here without any problem."

The American does the job, and after he finishes, asks the policeman, "Tell me, is this what is called British hospitality?"

"No," answers the Policeman, "we call this the French Embassy!"

(gets me waterproof coat)...

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Royal Navy's newest ship formally named in Glasgow yard

Mpeler
Pint

Re: Obligatory Star Wars

Congratulations, as you were also the Firth to post :)

(Gets me waterproof coat.... Mars bars)

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MP brands 1,600 CSC layoffs as the 'worst excesses of capitalism'

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: "Built on a foundation of trust and transformation"

"The spin merger of CSC and HPE ES can be seen as two failing businesses coming together to create an even bigger failing business."
Now, where have we seen HP involved with something like that before?

Oh, yes.

The sound of two garbage trucks colliding. Compaq merger.

Some folks never learn.

Anymore, they're just a bunch of DX, C...

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Amazon S3-izure cause: Half the web vanished because an AWS bod fat-fingered a command

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: So much for fault injection testing !

Here's a song for them then:

I've looked at clouds from both sides now

From up and down, and still somehow

It's cloud illusions I recall

I really don't know clouds at all.....

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Samsung battery factory bursts into flame in touching Note 7 tribute

Mpeler
Coat

Money *cough* laundering?

Near the village, the peaceful village, the Li-ion burns tonight...

(Well it IS a recycle center - gets me flameproof coat, AGAIN).....

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'Webroot made my PCs s*** the bed' – AV update borks biz machines hard

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: Doesn't anyone test?

Uninitialised variable? (time-dishonored failure).....

Ahhh, the days of desk-checking are long since gone. Where's John McAfee when we need him (and not that piece of Pferde-Merde that now bears his name)..... and, yep, I know this is CorpAV.....

Paris is checking desks right now.....

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Cutting Hewlett-Packard Labs down to size

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: I've never even heard of most of those memory thingies

You hit the nail right on the head. Carly "perception is reality" Fiorina eviscerated the Labs, and replaced them with an addendum to the HP Corporate logo that said "Invent". Having reduced Bill and Dave (Hewlett-Packard) to HP, she further insulted the true inventors and bearers of the "Bill and Dave legacy [in the original, positive sense]" by adding "Invent" to the logo and the site signage. As if they didn't know. Only a marketing twerp like her wouldn't know.

HP's internal magazine, "Measure" had an article about Carly, showing a picture of her leading Lew around some of the sites like a whipped dog. It was heartbreaking, especially considering he was originally from the med side of things. Carly, heartless indeed.

So the evisceration of the labs began LONG before Nit Witless &co.; it began with Carly. The breaking up of the company actually began on John Young's watch, though he was held back by Dave, and Bill.

After Bill left the day-to-day operations, and Dave passed away (1996), all bets were pretty much off. 2001, when Bill passed away, was the end of the Real HP.

HP Labs could never do the level of basic research that IBM did, simply because the company wasn't big enough to fund that level of research. Having said that, the labs did do an enormous amount of valuable research and product initiation, if not full development. Consider the ubiquitous touchscreen.

The HP150 (and 2382 terminal) were the first real commercial examples of this technology, though they were a solution in search of a market. Disc caching (first seen in the PC world with WD discs)? "Two guys in a corner" with the HP7933XP. Pocket calculator? Bill Hewlett himself threw down a challenge that resulted in the HP pocket calculator. The list goes on and on.

Sadly, the labs don't.

HP has become "Hewlett Packaging", buying white-box hardware from often non-descript Chinese hardware vendors, with a smattering of Indian-developed software riding on that hardware. The labs, be they computer, medical, analytic (chromographs, HPLC, etc.), test & measurement, semiconductor design and assembly, etc., are all but gone now.

So, Meggie &co. Now that you've squeezed the last dime out of what was once a great company, what are you going to do?????

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CES 2017 roundup: The good, the bad, and the frankly bonkers

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: AirBar - HP2647

Does it support HPWord? (or have the ROMs?)

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Mpeler
Pint

Re: AirBar HP150

I have an unopened, shrink-wrapped copy of HP NewWave :)

Thanks for the memories. I had to convince some of my FAMs that the 150 was corporate standard as opposed to the MACs, etc. The laughter (even if only thought) is still echoing in my head. Having said that, the touchscreen, like a lot of the tech coming out of the old HP, was ahead of its time.

Anyone remember Spectra-Physics? They bought 3D Systems in 1988 or so, to jump into the market for 3D printing. Sadly, neither the market, nor the (affordable) computing power to support the printers existed at the time...sigh...

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Support chap's Sonic Screwdriver fixes PC as user fumes in disbelief

Mpeler
Pirate

Re: There is no such verb as "to helm"

Go to helm.

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HBO slaps takedown demand on 13-year-old girl's painting because it used 'Winter is coming'

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Pounding away again, Ezra and Mike...

Ah for the Auld dayze of groat of the day on the header line:

Winter is icumin in, Lhude sing Goddamn....

(And Paris is going Sumer, Sumer I want SUMER is icumin in, I'm f-f-f-freezing --^^^)

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HPE UK preps the redundancy ride as Chrimbo looms

Mpeler
Mushroom

The 60% solution

Sounds like a real Matt Hole to me...

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RIP HPE's The Machine product, 2014-2016: We hardly knew ye

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: Am I the only one...

Reminds me of the beginning of "Soul of a New Machine", where Tom West went into a Data Center where a new DEC was being installed, opened it up, counted the number of boards, approximated the parts, and the resulting cost and cost/complexity of manufacturing it. DG's goal was a one-board CPU.....

From "Soul of a New Machine" to "sold off a new machine" (sort-of). Sad.

RIP, HP labs and the HP Way.

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Samsung are amateurs – NASA shows how you really do a battery fire

Mpeler
Coat

Re: Wow. Make this a feature...

Near the village, the peaceful village, the Li-ion burns tonight...

(Grabs me flameproof coat)...

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Probe boffins: Two balls deep in Uranus's ring

Mpeler
Coat

Re: Low hanging fruit? (That headline - Dingleberries

Klingons?

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Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: Yes people seem to forget about Saturn and Uranus.

It's the Kardashians wot dunnit...

(Can't find a Kardashian icon (probably too big) so Paris will have to do)...

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HP Inc to blast more humans from employment cannon

Mpeler
Mushroom

Employment bonfire

Well considering that they just bought a chunk of Samsung, it's no surprise that there's a bonfire nearby... (gets me fireproof coat)(and 3rd-party ink)...

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Ludicrous Patent of the Week: Rectangles on a computer screen

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: I'll see ya

Or "I'll Sue Ya" from Weird Al Yankovic:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeXQBHLIPcw

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R2D2 delivery robots to scurry through the streets of San Francisco

Mpeler
Pint

hemi-demi-semi colon

So all that's left is a non-breaking space, so they have to make a mad dash to the loo.....

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Mpeler
Black Helicopters

Re: fixed hazards will be the real challenge

I'd just like to picture them sending those stupid delivery robots flying. With any luck, they'd hit an Amazon delivery drone on the way out.

The bicycle messengers will NOT be happy with the addition to the sidewalk detritus. Add to this the garbage bins that come and go on the sidewalks, the rush of people on the sidewalks (assuming this is in the business district), and the "criminal element" that might be encountered there and elsewhere, it should prove to be an entertaining show.

All of this, to get us used to "helpful robots and drones" watching our evey move.....

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HP Inc's rinky-dink ink stink: Unofficial cartridges, official refills spurned by printer DRM

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: Its not just the firmware...

Their drivers, especially for their all-in-ones, have been a constant source of irritation. Sort of like a rabid yappy dog that won't go away.

That could have something to do with the fact that their printer driver folks (SD) were one of the first groups to get outsourced, and the quality has been the pits ever since.

Bill and Dave are probably rolling in their graves at what has become of their once great company.

Invent - my A$$. The fact that Hewlett-Packard used to be on it (instead of just HP) implied that not just inventing, but clever innovation, customer input, intelligent engineering, and fair pricing was the order of the day.

RIP Bill, Dave, and the HP Way.

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Mpeler
Boffin

@ Dr. Sytax

The HP Ink stuff started with Dick Hackborn, who came up with the idea of the ink tank/head assembly, and the idea of expensive consumables on a relatively cheap platform.

He also gave us Carly. And later, aided in getting rid of her. Kind of the George Soros of HP.....

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Swedish appeals court upholds arrest warrant for Julian Assange

Mpeler
Mushroom

Fair for me but not for thee

Meanwhile, hundreds of REAL rapes occur in Sweden (and Germany, and elsewhere) while the *cough* PC Police do nothing.

Priorities, priorities...

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EMC/Dell deal respectfully caps the minicomputer age

Mpeler
Facepalm

Re: Massachusetts "A saner lot"...

Oops. Tracy Kidder. Sorry. Brain Cramp.

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Mpeler
Pint

MPE4EVER

Yep, and it's one of the very few systems that can survive a power fail intact. I had a colleague who worked Friday nights at a company in North San Jose with a Truck Stop nearby with, erm, rough parties resulting in inebriated truckers. Unfortunately, the transformers for the industrial park (at that time) were on a platform on a triple pole monstrosity, such that said truckers would occasionally back into them, the resulting power fail taking down the business park.

My colleague earned the name "Powerfail". The HP3000s (two series 68s) would come back just fine. After the third iteration of this, PG&E finally bit the bullet and put in an underground substation.

The 3K was a really good box; ironically, the AS/400 was IBM's answer to it. Good to see that folks are still homesteading it. Still I worry about 2027 (of course the ux folks get the same issue in 2029?).....

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Mpeler
Boffin

Re: why does it matter

Talk to the folks at Apollo Computer about that. Chelmsford, Mass.

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Mpeler
Holmes

Re: Massachusetts "A saner lot"...

Governor Moonbeam and the PC police will be along, shortly.

Don't forget, the original Silicon Valley was started by folks such as Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard, neither of whom were sociopathic or megalomaniacal. There is quite a long list of folks in the early days who were very socially conscious, technically brilliant, and, for the most part, self-effacing, or at least humble.

The change in the valley happened when the "suits" from the East Coast flew in and started bureaucratizing everything. I lived through that, and it was long before Carly's time, though she exacerbated it.

Read "Soul of a New Machine" (and "House") by Stacy Kidder to get a taste of the good old days (and of excellent writing).

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French, German ministers demand new encryption backdoor law

Mpeler
Big Brother

Just around the corner?

National elections here in Germany are (sadly) September 2017...

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Watch the world's biggest 'flying bum' go arse over tit in a crash

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Buns? You want buns?

Looks like one of the Kardashians.....

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North Korea unveils its home-grown Netflix rival – Manbang

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Manbang?

Didn't Ashley Madison already do that?

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Your wget is broken and should DIE, dev tells Microsoft

Mpeler
Mushroom

I don't expect you to wget...

I dont expect you to wget, Microsoft, I expect you to DIE.....

(well, erm, the icon IS gold.....ish.....).

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Physicists believe they may have found fifth force of nature

Mpeler
Coat

Where's my fifth.....

Could it be that they've bridged the fifth of forth?

(Gets me hat, Boson-proof coat, tinfoil attachment.....)

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