* Posts by Mpeler

764 publicly visible posts • joined 1 Mar 2012

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File this next to Mars bars under 'things that should not be deep-fried': Marks & Spencer's Colin the Caterpillar

Mpeler
Pint

Re: And from the crispy chrysalis emerged...

DO,

Or DO NUT.

There is no FRY...

May The Fourth Be With You

(and the Firth, Fivetwoitously)...

Former DXC Technology veep accuses 'toxic' CEO Lawrie of bullying staff in lawsuit

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: DXC is dead

The night they drove old DXC down...

Astroboffins have spied the largest star that has gone supernova and it's breaking all the rules

Mpeler
FAIL

Re: Soup

Hope you get some relief from your varicose brains...

Besserwisser and Klugscheißer come to mind...

Perhaps AManFromMars1 can help you...

Mpeler
Holmes

Re: Soup

"Nazi's" ???

These are Nazi Droids you are looking for...

Oh, wait. Grammarnazis abound as well.

These are no the Nazi Droids for which you are looking...

Gone in a flash: Oracle lays off hundreds as the biz formerly known as Pillar Data is shuttered

Mpeler
Mushroom

Larry, Larry, Quite Contrary

Larry, Larry, quite contrary,

How does your empire grow?

With IP "rights" and patent fights,

And lawyers all in a row....

When the chips are down, buy a software biz: Broadcom snaffles Symantec for $10.7bn

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: Shades of Intel buying McAfeee??

Back it up,

Back it up...

Nothing like a good backup, eh, Paris?

Deja-wooo-oooh! Intel chips running Windows potentially vulnerable to scary Spectre variant

Mpeler
Boffin

Clouds Illusions not at all

No, this has NOTHING to do with "the cloud".

It has EVERYTHING to do with speed at any cost, poor design and/or poor coding (values not checked).

Other machines have had similar system data segment (base) exchange routines, for example the HP3000 with the EXCHANGEDB routine, which swapped the user's data segment base with a system data segment base in order to facilitate calls to Privileged system internal routines like DIRECTFIND (or if you're in a RISCy mood, ATTACHIO). Fortunately the system had checks in hardware to see that upon return, DB was where it should be (i.e. where it was originally).

Of course, if the parameters, calling sequence, or stack are gorbled, then all hell will break loose.

But, on the HP3K (and other machines) you would be rewarded with a system failure, or a system abort, BECAUSE you needed to be in Privileged Mode (aka ring zero) and "SETCRITICAL", which means "don't abort me, and if I crash, so does the system".

No RISC, no fun, eh?

Sometimes speed kills, if you've taken off all the safeties.

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: I bought and paid for a saucepan...

And, if you look real close at the manufacturer's plate on the gate, it was manufactured by a fellow named Bill.

Bill's Gates will get you, every time!

(Get's me coat and Win7 disks :) ).....

(Paris, because she gets around too).....

New old Windows bug emerges, your 'strong' password is anything but, plus plenty more

Mpeler
Pint

Re: Microsoft, so much for the idea of cumulative monthly roll-up update patches...{Facepalm}

Great catch.

Meet the new bug,

Same as the old bug...

So, Satya, how's those $4.00/hr programmers worrking out for you?????

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: Call that aniquated?

Exactly!

I prefer the concrete approach.

WIndows CE, ME, (and) NT.

A great foundation for building applications and systems ;)

Paris, because she sees men(t) wherever she goes...

DXC: We axed 10k staff, shut nine data centres, closed 4.6m sq ft of office space... and sales tumbled, funnily enough

Mpeler

Re: 40,000 people jobless in two years.

Said the Oblowhole shill...

Naming your company 101: Probably best not to have the word 'Oracle' anywhere near branding

Mpeler
Trollface

Re: Greedy Larry's

Happy Greeder?

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: Hell hath no fury

Butter face...

Almost, but not completely unlike butter. Share and enjoy...

Paris... because...

Mpeler
Mushroom

'orrible, simply 'orrible

Larry, Larry, quite contrary,

How does your empire grow?

With IP "rights" and patent fights,

and lawyers all in a row.

Spyware sneaks into 'million-ish' Asus PCs via poisoned software updates, says Kaspersky

Mpeler
Coat

Re: @Jack

Repaint, and thin no more..

Oracle swings axe on cloud infrastructure corps amid possible bloodbath at Big Red

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: No Change There Then

Ahhh, Lawyers. Get them all in one place..

Reminds me of

Larry, Larry, quite contrary,

How does your empire grow?

With IP "rights" and patent fights

And lawyers, all in a row.

Oracle sued for $4.5m after ERP system delivery date 'moved from 2015 to 2016, then 2017, then... er, never'

Mpeler

FWIW

So, it looks like 'Orrible is pretty much Worth-less...

(And that's one of the worth puns I've ever seen).....

Heard the one where the boss calls in an Oracle consultant who couldn't fix the database?

Mpeler
Pint

Re: "ran like a three-legged dog"

A three-legged dog sidles into a bar.

Bartender asks, "What can I get for you?"

Dog replies, "I'm-a here to find the one that shot my paw"...

Micro Focus belches as it struggles to digest HPE Software

Mpeler
Boffin

Re: Lost opportunities...

Especially ironic, considering one of the worst things to run on the 3K was "out of focus COBOL"...

Universe slipped Milky Way a sausage galaxy to grow a big belly bulge

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: being slipped a weiner and getting a fat belly

Joyless tubes, full of gristle, accompanied by yellow matter with gas in it...

(apologies to Douglas Adams)

IBM memo to staff: Our CEO Ginni is visiting so please 'act normally!'

Mpeler
Alien

Re: Douglas Adams? We expect 100% occupancy during the visit

Thank you for making a simple door very happy...

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: We expect 100% occupancy during the visit

"a fun and vibrant team of marketeers" who were the first against the wall when the revolution came.....

And don't forget the telephone sanitizers, and the moodily-lit tubes of toothpaste.....

Closest I could find to Fenchurch ---------------------------------------------^^^^

Mpeler
Pirate

Re: "Act normally! Ginni and the team are here to see what Austin is really like."

"So this bathroom policy thing... Are they trying to conceal any suggestion their leader is producing sh**"

Nah. To avoid cried of "Gina has a wina"...

Internet engineers tear into United Nations' plan to move us all to IPv6

Mpeler
Coat

Re: Mapping plan

"Even my small home network is hard to configure for IPv6 (router, firwall, VM host - they can all see each other but can't route IPv6 packets successfully..)"

You should give the firwall back to your cat, and put in a firewall :)

(Watch out for those hairballs, they're non-routable, and induce hacking).....

Black hole munched galactic leftovers, spewed stars, burped

Mpeler
Pint

Re: Occam's Razor: If the first one was a burp going southwards...

Refired beans, as it were...

Goes well with cheddar cheese, cilantro, salsa and some bottles of your favourite cerveza...

Kernel-memory-leaking Intel processor design flaw forces Linux, Windows redesign

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: Can you hear it? blockchain

AMD should change the name from Threadripper to Chainripper.....

Here's Paris looking for some chains right now............................................^

ALPHABET TOTALLY LOSES ITS SCHMIDT: Exec chairman Eric quits

Mpeler
Holmes

Another Schmidt-head leaves Alphabet

And another one rides the bus.....

NASA says New Horizons' next stop might have a moon

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: Is there anything out there that doesn't have a moon?

The Kardashians?

Oh, wait...

Voyager 1 fires thrusters last used in 1980 – and they worked!

Mpeler
Trollface

Re: Here's a thought...

And if someone with a Cheshire Cat smile named Zarniwhoop smiles that smile at you, punch it.....

Mpeler
Alert

Re: Ancient assembler code checked out

Great. Now Satan Nutella will force a Windoze 1 0 update on it.....

Mpeler
Coat

Re: Well done NASA!

Air to the thrown?

Mpeler
Pint

Two heads

Or Arthur. Marvin's probably been talking to it.....

Mpeler
Pirate

Re: Good BBC prog

Now if only they could get it to make a collect (reversed charges) call to the speaking clock.....

(Closest I could find to Zaphod - well, he DID steal a spaceship.....).

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: Orbit

Yeah, and that black hole known as the EC/EU in Brussels.....

Paris, because she's said to have a heavenly body.....

HPE CEO Meg Whitman QUITS, MAN! Neri to replace chief exec in Feb

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: Proud?

Scott McNealy would probably say "you can hear the sound of a garbage truck crashing into the night"...

Goodbye, and good riddance, Meg, or should I say Nit Whitman. I though Leo, Carly, and the flailing Hurd were the worst that could happen to HP.

You've eclipsed them all. And made a mockery of Bill and Dave and the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of creative, dedicated, and hard-working employees that have walked the floors of HP.

You aren't even worthy to sweep them.

Just. Go. Away.

DNS resolver 9.9.9.9 will check requests against IBM threat database

Mpeler
Coat

No peekee

As Siegfried said to Maxwell Smart and his stunning colleague:

Nein, nein, ninety-nine...

Intel's super-secret Management Engine firmware now glimpsed, fingered via USB

Mpeler
Black Helicopters

Re: The year of.. the magic word

WOMIX won't work anymore, you have to throw the battery at the dwarf with the hatchet and then type in MINIX or XINIM.

You are in a maze of twisty passages that all look alike.....

Official US govt Twitter accounts caught tweeting in Russian, now mysteriously axed

Mpeler
Big Brother

Bull - winkle

Moose and Squirrel will be by later to confirm your postievsky...

Fat-fingered Level 3 techie reduces internet to level zero: Glitch knocks out connections

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: The cloud

They've looked at clouds from both sides now

From up and down, and still somehow

It's cloud illusions they recall

They really don't know clouds at all...

(apologies to Joni Mitchell)

(Paris is still looking, too. CGNAT can be such a pain...).

Hewlett-Packard history lost to Santa Rosa fires

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: How ironic

Carly was brought in to destroy the HP Way, nit Whitman is in the process of completing that. Some say that John Young was actually "the beginning of the end".

"Keysight" is neither Key, nor has any "sight". (fl)Agilent is only one of many failed remnants of HPs former glory. The profound lack of care they took of these documents is only representative of the lack of care they and their greedy manglement give to what was left of the HP Way, and what is left of the various instrument divisions, which were once innovative, creative, and great as well.

Digital documents are no replacement for the originals. Especially as they can be modified, or, worse, omissions made either by intent or carelessness.

Having said all that, I wish health and a quick recovery for those affected by the fires. Lives are much, much more important than things...

US voting server in election security probe is mysteriously wiped

Mpeler
Big Brother

Bleach Bit-h

HildeBEAST was seen walking away, cackling, dressed as a washerwoman with one shoe, saying, "I wiped it, like, with a cloth"......

Happy New Year! Love, Microsoft: Price rises? Aw, you shouldn't have

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: The Register has asked Microsoft to explain why price rises are proposed

Agile development?

More like dancing bugs.....

Capacitor maker zapped with price-fixing charge

Mpeler
Pint

Guilty as charged

Only Far-a-day?

Mpeler
Coat

Re: Unfarad Business Practices

That would be tantalum to larceny.....

Mpeler
Big Brother

Re: Unfarad Business Practices

And so they let the electrics die. It's a dead man that Tesla no tales...

Mpeler
Coat

Re: Unfarad Business Practices

And all of this centsless price-fixing.

Do fear the Reaper: Huge army of webcams, routers raised from 'one million' hacked orgs

Mpeler
Pirate

Re: You wouldn't let your pet do this...

Or leave a tray of milk in your neighbor's yard... In a few days it'll be SEP (Someone Else's Problem)...

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: Pfft!

Huawei would they do a thing like that?

Wanna exorcise Intel's secretive hidden CPU from your hardware? Meet Purism's laptops

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: Disabled? Yeah, right...

Glad to see that someone acted on [Erica] Portnoy's Complaint.....

(they probably aroused Intel's Roth over that)

Sniffing substations will solve 'leccy car charging woes, reckons upstart

Mpeler
Pint

Re: Access to the Open LV dataset...

Re-volting, aren't they :)

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