* Posts by Mpeler

734 posts • joined 1 Mar 2012

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HPE CEO Meg Whitman QUITS, MAN! Neri to replace chief exec in Feb

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: Proud?

Scott McNealy would probably say "you can hear the sound of a garbage truck crashing into the night"...

Goodbye, and good riddance, Meg, or should I say Nit Whitman. I though Leo, Carly, and the flailing Hurd were the worst that could happen to HP.

You've eclipsed them all. And made a mockery of Bill and Dave and the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of creative, dedicated, and hard-working employees that have walked the floors of HP.

You aren't even worthy to sweep them.

Just. Go. Away.

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DNS resolver 9.9.9.9 will check requests against IBM threat database

Mpeler
Coat

No peekee

As Siegfried said to Maxwell Smart and his stunning colleague:

Nein, nein, ninety-nine...

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Intel's super-secret Management Engine firmware now glimpsed, fingered via USB

Mpeler
Black Helicopters

Re: The year of.. the magic word

WOMIX won't work anymore, you have to throw the battery at the dwarf with the hatchet and then type in MINIX or XINIM.

You are in a maze of twisty passages that all look alike.....

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Official US govt Twitter accounts caught tweeting in Russian, now mysteriously axed

Mpeler
Big Brother

Bull - winkle

Moose and Squirrel will be by later to confirm your postievsky...

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Fat-fingered Level 3 techie reduces internet to level zero: Glitch knocks out connections

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: The cloud

They've looked at clouds from both sides now

From up and down, and still somehow

It's cloud illusions they recall

They really don't know clouds at all...

(apologies to Joni Mitchell)

(Paris is still looking, too. CGNAT can be such a pain...).

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Hewlett-Packard history lost to Santa Rosa fires

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: How ironic

Carly was brought in to destroy the HP Way, nit Whitman is in the process of completing that. Some say that John Young was actually "the beginning of the end".

"Keysight" is neither Key, nor has any "sight". (fl)Agilent is only one of many failed remnants of HPs former glory. The profound lack of care they took of these documents is only representative of the lack of care they and their greedy manglement give to what was left of the HP Way, and what is left of the various instrument divisions, which were once innovative, creative, and great as well.

Digital documents are no replacement for the originals. Especially as they can be modified, or, worse, omissions made either by intent or carelessness.

Having said all that, I wish health and a quick recovery for those affected by the fires. Lives are much, much more important than things...

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US voting server in election security probe is mysteriously wiped

Mpeler
Big Brother

Bleach Bit-h

HildeBEAST was seen walking away, cackling, dressed as a washerwoman with one shoe, saying, "I wiped it, like, with a cloth"......

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Happy New Year! Love, Microsoft: Price rises? Aw, you shouldn't have

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: The Register has asked Microsoft to explain why price rises are proposed

Agile development?

More like dancing bugs.....

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Capacitor maker zapped with price-fixing charge

Mpeler
Pint

Guilty as charged

Only Far-a-day?

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Mpeler
Coat

Re: Unfarad Business Practices

That would be tantalum to larceny.....

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Mpeler
Big Brother

Re: Unfarad Business Practices

And so they let the electrics die. It's a dead man that Tesla no tales...

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Mpeler
Coat

Re: Unfarad Business Practices

And all of this centsless price-fixing.

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Do fear the Reaper: Huge army of webcams, routers raised from 'one million' hacked orgs

Mpeler
Pirate

Re: You wouldn't let your pet do this...

Or leave a tray of milk in your neighbor's yard... In a few days it'll be SEP (Someone Else's Problem)...

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Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: Pfft!

Huawei would they do a thing like that?

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Wanna exorcise Intel's secretive hidden CPU from your hardware? Meet Purism's laptops

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: Disabled? Yeah, right...

Glad to see that someone acted on [Erica] Portnoy's Complaint.....

(they probably aroused Intel's Roth over that)

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Sniffing substations will solve 'leccy car charging woes, reckons upstart

Mpeler
Pint

Re: Access to the Open LV dataset...

Re-volting, aren't they :)

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Mpeler
Coat

Re: Access to the Open LV dataset...

Just couldn't resist, could you?

(such a capacity for puns, and so little reluctance)...

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HPE sharpening the axe for 5,000 heads – report

Mpeler
Mushroom

A Faustian deal, no doubt

Nit Whitman uses her only tool, once again.

Shades of Carly firing 120 percent of HP's (then) workforce.

Any more I think Bill and Dave would rather HPE (and the rest of the shards) disappear. Goodness knows, ever since Carly ripped their full (last) names off the Company Logo, replacing them with the insipid "Invent" [that's what we DO Carly, in case you didn't notice], the company's been splitting and crumbling into ever smaller, irrelevant pieces.

H undreds of

P ieces...

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Facebook, Twitter sucked into US Senate's Russian meddling probe

Mpeler
Big Brother

ad words?

And yet Eric Schmidt has been full-on contributing to HildeBEAST's and the Klintoons campaigns and foundation, contributing both time, money, and AI "engines" for their *cough* efforts.

Do no evil?

I think not.

And how about that nice infusion(s) of cash from the NSA, Zuck? And the stream of money going to AWS, Boz- er, Bezos?

Yeah. Tolerance, free speech and impartiality. Only works if you're a liberal...

Here's a little background on Garble:

https://wikileaks.org/google-is-not-what-it-seems/

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Big Tech slams Trump on plan to deport kids

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: OBAKA

Yeah. I prefer Øbozo, it reflects what Obama is: a Marxist clown.

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Mpeler
Mushroom

immigrants?

" threaten the future of young undocumented immigrants brought to America as children"

Nope.

" threaten the future of young ILLEGAL immigrants brought to America as children".

Slave labor for big biz.

Look at the rules for immigration into Mexico, for instance. Illegals end up rotting in their less-that-5-diamond-quality prisons.....

Fire away, leftist libtards. You don't have to pay taxes to support these leeches. I do. And so do all of the other LEGALLY EMPLOYED Americans.

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PayPal, accused of facilitating neo-Nazi rally, promises to deny hate groups service

Mpeler
WTF?

Re: In the long run

Try again, alt-left. Those monuments were raised by DEMOCRATS, the same party that gave you the civil war and the KKK. And, by the way, the (un)Civil War was about more than just slavery, which was the tarp thrown over the wreck that the financing of the USA had become.

And another Democrat, Wilson made a right mess of that, too. The Fed is no better than the EZB.

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Mpeler
FAIL

Re: attacking anyone who disagrees with them.

No body.

Apparently no brain, either.

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Man facing $17.5m HPE fraud case has contempt sentence cut by Court of Appeal

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: confused

"HP clearly doesnt like it when resellers turn a profit."

Yep.

Not like it was in the old days with Neely...

There. I'll bet nit Whitman (and the rest of the decrepit crew) have no idea of who Neely were (actually, was)...

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Mpeler

Re: Automatic halving of sentence - the joys of a stupid system

Don't be an asymptote...

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Mpeler
Big Brother

Re: Automatic halving of sentence - the joys of a stupid system

How about reducing the sentence by half, then the remaining sentence by half, then that by half, then that by half, again and again, ad infinitum.

He'll be in the slammer forever...

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Mpeler
Pint

Re: Automatic halving of sentence

"It doesn't say if he was released outright or released on licence."

Off Licence?

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BOFH: That's right. Turn it off. Turn it on

Mpeler
Holmes

Re: The power of suggestion defragged

"their standard instructions to callers were to defrag and reboot"
Would be interesting if they rebooted in the middle of the defrag.....

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Windows Insiders with SD cards turn into OneDrive outsiders

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: If this is all about Placeholders, here's one: The K Edition of Windows 10.

Yep. From "One Drive" to "NONE DRIVE".

Way to go, Satan Nutella, you've børked everyone again...

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Boffins with frickin' laser beams chase universe's mysterious trihydrogen

Mpeler
Coat

When all else fails, Trihydrogen...

A Trihydrogen atom walks into a bar, orders a drink and says to the bartender,

"I seem to have lost an electron"

Bartender asks, "are you sure?"

H³ replies, "I'm positive"...

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Intel AMT bug bit Siemens industrial PCs

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: Recall ?

Icahn. I sue. I sell.

Total Recall...

Let the games begin, with the corporate locusts.

AMT for thee, but not for me.

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Microsoft: We'll beef up security in Windows 10 Creators Edition Fall Update

Mpeler
Windows

Fail Edition?

Somehow I read Windows 10 Creators Edition Fail Update...

Those aren't bugs, they're features, er, opportunities, er, sales leads, er...

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BOFH: Putting the commitment into committee

Mpeler
Coat

Wifey dearest

I take it you A-Door her... :)

You'll be needing that coat, methinks...

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Microsoft founder Paul Allen reveals world's biggest-ever plane

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: Hang on...

"Any bald headed men with glowing eyes seen in the vicinity???"

Anyone see Steve Ballmer lately?

Paris is looking :)

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DXC Technology looks to lighten the payroll six weeks after launch

Mpeler
Mushroom

Acronym?

They're just a bunch of DX, C...

Bill and Dave continue to roll in their graves...

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Astroboffins stunned by biggest brown dwarf ever seen – just a hop and a skip away (750 ly)

Mpeler
Pint

Re: It's quite a small object (Far away - or not?)

"Sitting in the constellation of Pisces 750 light years away..."

Yes, I thought there was something fishy about that...

(Coat, check, towel, check, now for that Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster...)

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I've Been Moved: IBMers in same division slapped with 2nd redundo scheme in 2 months

Mpeler
Mushroom

I've Been Moved

IBM has always been referred to as "I've Been Moved", at least in the USA. For anyone with any hope of advancement (at least in the 1950s and 1960s), they needed to be prepared to move at the drop of a hat.

I had a former colleague who was asked to move; he replied that he needed to talk to his wife. Next thing that happened was that he was asked to leave, instead.

Over in Germany they say, "Immer besser manuell", roughly "always better by hand" (no comments there in the back row...). Seems Hacksaw Ginny has her hands on everyone's throats now...

Best wishes and condolences both for those leaving and those left. I expect the various shards of HP will follow in suit...

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Ubiquiti network gear can be 'hijacked by an evil URL' – thanks to its 20-year-old PHP build

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Ubiquity

Looks like the exploits coming up will be Ubiquitous...

Paris, because she's ubiquitous, too...

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BOFH: Don't back up in anger

Mpeler
Pint

Re: New technical terms.

"double ROT-13 only works with ascii for full Unicode compliance you need double ROT-557056"
Otherwise it's only half-ASCII...

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IBM could have made almost all the voluntary redundancies it needed

Mpeler
Mushroom

The good people

have already left...

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Lloyds to outsource 2,000 staff in IBM deal

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: Thanks for the heads up

"I'll start the process of moving my savings account away from Lloyds shortly."

If it hasn't been *cough* moved to India already...

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User lubed PC with butter, because pressing a button didn't work

Mpeler
Joke

Time for the BOFH

Or even the PFY.....

British or French hospitality?

An American tourist is visiting London. As he walks, he feels the urge to pee. He searches and searches, but does not find a toilet. Ever more desperate, he enters a tiny street, looks for a narrow and darker place, beside a tall wall and starts to unzip his pants. Suddenly from behind somebody taps his shoulder. He turns around and sees a policeman there.

"Sorry sir," says the policeman, "it is forbidden to urinate in public places."

The American apologizes, tells him that he had no luck in finding a toilet and just couldn't hold on anymore.

"Follow me, I will help you," says the policeman. He guides the tourist towards a gate in the wall and shows him the way inside. The tourist is amazed, as he sees himself in a gorgeous garden, full of flowers, arrangements, bushes and trees. The policeman leads him to one of the trees and says, "You can pee here without any problem."

The American does the job, and after he finishes, asks the policeman, "Tell me, is this what is called British hospitality?"

"No," answers the Policeman, "we call this the French Embassy!"

(gets me waterproof coat)...

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Royal Navy's newest ship formally named in Glasgow yard

Mpeler
Pint

Re: Obligatory Star Wars

Congratulations, as you were also the Firth to post :)

(Gets me waterproof coat.... Mars bars)

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MP brands 1,600 CSC layoffs as the 'worst excesses of capitalism'

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: "Built on a foundation of trust and transformation"

"The spin merger of CSC and HPE ES can be seen as two failing businesses coming together to create an even bigger failing business."
Now, where have we seen HP involved with something like that before?

Oh, yes.

The sound of two garbage trucks colliding. Compaq merger.

Some folks never learn.

Anymore, they're just a bunch of DX, C...

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Amazon S3-izure cause: Half the web vanished because an AWS bod fat-fingered a command

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: So much for fault injection testing !

Here's a song for them then:

I've looked at clouds from both sides now

From up and down, and still somehow

It's cloud illusions I recall

I really don't know clouds at all.....

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Samsung battery factory bursts into flame in touching Note 7 tribute

Mpeler
Coat

Money *cough* laundering?

Near the village, the peaceful village, the Li-ion burns tonight...

(Well it IS a recycle center - gets me flameproof coat, AGAIN).....

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'Webroot made my PCs s*** the bed' – AV update borks biz machines hard

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: Doesn't anyone test?

Uninitialised variable? (time-dishonored failure).....

Ahhh, the days of desk-checking are long since gone. Where's John McAfee when we need him (and not that piece of Pferde-Merde that now bears his name)..... and, yep, I know this is CorpAV.....

Paris is checking desks right now.....

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Cutting Hewlett-Packard Labs down to size

Mpeler
Mushroom

Re: I've never even heard of most of those memory thingies

You hit the nail right on the head. Carly "perception is reality" Fiorina eviscerated the Labs, and replaced them with an addendum to the HP Corporate logo that said "Invent". Having reduced Bill and Dave (Hewlett-Packard) to HP, she further insulted the true inventors and bearers of the "Bill and Dave legacy [in the original, positive sense]" by adding "Invent" to the logo and the site signage. As if they didn't know. Only a marketing twerp like her wouldn't know.

HP's internal magazine, "Measure" had an article about Carly, showing a picture of her leading Lew around some of the sites like a whipped dog. It was heartbreaking, especially considering he was originally from the med side of things. Carly, heartless indeed.

So the evisceration of the labs began LONG before Nit Witless &co.; it began with Carly. The breaking up of the company actually began on John Young's watch, though he was held back by Dave, and Bill.

After Bill left the day-to-day operations, and Dave passed away (1996), all bets were pretty much off. 2001, when Bill passed away, was the end of the Real HP.

HP Labs could never do the level of basic research that IBM did, simply because the company wasn't big enough to fund that level of research. Having said that, the labs did do an enormous amount of valuable research and product initiation, if not full development. Consider the ubiquitous touchscreen.

The HP150 (and 2382 terminal) were the first real commercial examples of this technology, though they were a solution in search of a market. Disc caching (first seen in the PC world with WD discs)? "Two guys in a corner" with the HP7933XP. Pocket calculator? Bill Hewlett himself threw down a challenge that resulted in the HP pocket calculator. The list goes on and on.

Sadly, the labs don't.

HP has become "Hewlett Packaging", buying white-box hardware from often non-descript Chinese hardware vendors, with a smattering of Indian-developed software riding on that hardware. The labs, be they computer, medical, analytic (chromographs, HPLC, etc.), test & measurement, semiconductor design and assembly, etc., are all but gone now.

So, Meggie &co. Now that you've squeezed the last dime out of what was once a great company, what are you going to do?????

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CES 2017 roundup: The good, the bad, and the frankly bonkers

Mpeler
Paris Hilton

Re: AirBar - HP2647

Does it support HPWord? (or have the ROMs?)

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Mpeler
Pint

Re: AirBar HP150

I have an unopened, shrink-wrapped copy of HP NewWave :)

Thanks for the memories. I had to convince some of my FAMs that the 150 was corporate standard as opposed to the MACs, etc. The laughter (even if only thought) is still echoing in my head. Having said that, the touchscreen, like a lot of the tech coming out of the old HP, was ahead of its time.

Anyone remember Spectra-Physics? They bought 3D Systems in 1988 or so, to jump into the market for 3D printing. Sadly, neither the market, nor the (affordable) computing power to support the printers existed at the time...sigh...

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