An imaginary conversation with Microsoft
Hey Microsoft. I'm just fixing a compatibility issue with your browser. And then my latest creation will be ready. Its so tempting to release it now but you know how it is, you don't want to upset your users with poorly tested code. I mean! Who would do that, right?
The thing is, I don't understand what "SCRIPT87: Invalid Argument" means. The causes of this message that I have found on the web do not apply in my case. I have spent two days on this one. I think the disturbed sleep and fear of a missed deadline are starting to affect my mind. I've been having these dark thoughts. You know, I'm a kind natured, gentle person, don't you?
I think I should see a doctor. I've noticed recently that the words "Internet Explorer" cause me an uncontrollable nervous twitch. Perhaps you guys could do me a favour, do we really need another browser bearing that name? Perhaps you could call IE11 something else? Or you could just wait another couple of months before releasing IE11? You could do a bit more testing in that time. You do do testing, don't you? You know, "testing", making sure a product works before you release it?
That's what I've been doing recently. Well, I was until two days ago. Oh, you're adopting a quick release schedule? Great. What are you doing to make sure your mistakes don't live on and on? After all, you do remember IE6, don't you?
I think it is time to accept you're just no good at writing browsers. Actually, come to think about it, you're no good at operating systems either. Perhaps you guys should run along to the careers advisers office. Haven't you done enough already?
I just don't think I can take much more. I sometimes wonder if any of this is real. I wonder if IE warped my mind. Sometimes I imagine that you're not really there, perhaps, I'm just blurting all this out on a web forum. But then I realise, that's just stupid talk.