* Posts by Euripides Pants

977 posts • joined 11 Feb 2012

OMG, Andrex KILLED the PUPPY! Not quilty, exclaim bog roll boys

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I'm shocked

I thought this sort of lunacy could exist _only_ in the US.

Mexican Cobalt-60 robbers are DEAD MEN, say authorities

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Morel of the story

Eat 'shrooms instead

Apple sends in the bulldozers as Fruit Loop construction begins

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Re: Its construction will be revolutionary...

"Unfortunately, it will be impossible to repair"

It is an Apple Product, it will not need repair

When the lights went out: My 'leccy-induced, bog floor crawling HORROR

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Re: Welcome to the pretty countryside

"...wood chip from North America (by product of their timber industry, I hope trees aren't felled specifically for this purpose), "

No, they are felled to make toothpicks:


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Re: Excellent

//another old guy here, I married a much younger woman, my kid is still younger than my coworkers

Microsoft researchers build 'smart bra' to stop women's stress eating

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Re: I'm Sorry....

But you are running a pirate copy of boobs and they will be deleted....

Ford says Microsoft CEO target Mulally not going anywhere

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Re: giving the Edsel a run for it's money

Microsoft Bob, nuff said

Australian political games could see full TPPA treaty revealed

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"I can't see the part where we get anything in return"

You get to enjoy the same privileges you have now.

People's Bank of China bans Bitcoin over 'drugs and guns' trade fears

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Re: No different than cash?

In it's anonymity.

Fun-killing fireshow-flunking ZOMBIE COMET ISON only LOOKED alive

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Obligatory XKCD


Sysadmin job ad: 'If you don’t mind really bad work-life balance, this is for you'

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Re: Shackleton's job ad

Then there's the Pony Express ad:

“Wanted: Young, skinny, wiry fellows, not over eighteen. Must be expert riders, willing to risk death daily. Orphans preferred. Wages $25 a week.”

'I'm BIG, I'm BALD and I'm LOUD!' Blubbering Ballmer admits HE was Microsoft's problem

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Re: Why do these guys get paid so much?

Karma has Tourette's Syndrome...

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Re: Quintessential American

Ballmer most definitely is NOT America. He is merely as big as a continent.

Rotund dotcom copies Miley Cyrus on XBox Day!

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Re: I thought a selfie was a gentleman finding pleasure in himself

I'd rather not catch your drift.

Meet the FOUR-TON DINO that made little Tyrannosaurs SOIL THEMSELVES

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I, for one, welcome our extinct massive lizard overlords...

Wintel must welcome Androitel and Chromtel into cosy menage – Intel

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"not sure if Antel of indroid has the same ring to it."

But people would really get confused by "Lintel"...

Hello Warsaw: Greenland ice loss will be OK 'even under extreme scenarios'

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Re: Commentard of the 2nd rank

Whereas I am just a rank commentard....

ROCK FROM MARS FOUND in Africa, reveals Red Planet's SECRETS

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Re: Ok, excuse me for asking but HTF do they know it is from Mars?

Maybe they asked Stephen Hawking....

Autopilot guides Texan plane home from a dizzying 30,000m

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Re: Miley Cyrus in her undies?

If you like horses, yes. For the rest of us, Katy Perry in anything

London businesses to signal UNSWERVING LOYALTY to capital with .london domain

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Re: Here ya go...

Damn! Beat me to it.

Here's your pint (and an upvote) ----->

iSpy with my little eye: Apple wants to track your every move

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Re: Right now, someone at google is screaming...

Because the the Google Brainiac machine was too busy contemplating cat videos.


Deep beneath melting Antartic ice: A huge active volcano

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Re: Doomed, doomed I say

But the thing that'll actually wipe us out will be an unsanitzed telephone...

Vladimir PUTIN officially HARDER than CHUCK NORRIS

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Technoviking could kick both their asses


Google spaffs $80m on Sun-powered kit: Calm down, Oracle. It's SOLAR

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Re: "a facility in Iowa that will rely entirely on wind power"

Iowa is full of corn. After they extract the corn syrup to give us diabetes, they could suck the corn oil out of the remaining mush.

Justin BIEBER ploughs cash into NaaS: NARCISSISM-as-a-Service

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Re: Really?

They misspelled "ponce"...

Microsoft fears XP could cause Indian BANKOCALYPSE

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Re: Don't Panic!

"Given how long xp has been around and how generally robust it is I fail to see the need for panic .. "

Yep, that's what happens when MS accidentally makes something good.

Nookie becomes, um, a virtual reality for Oculus Rift gadget gamers

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Re: Barbarella?

She seemed to enjoy the big organ too...

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Woody Allen wants one

Ever since that Orgasmotron incident in "Sleeper"...

Mine's the one with the embarrasing stain. NO, not that one, the OTHER one!

Denver robocops fit Nasal Ranger to perceive potent pot puffing pollution

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Re: Finally

"Or think its their right to eat copious amounts of garlic with every meal and stink the place up."

I'd apologize but you really ought to know better than to have your mouth open within 20 feet* of me...

*that's 6.096 meters for you Europeans

Falkland Islands almost BLITZED from space by plunging European ion-rocket craft

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Re: Atlanta, possible sighting

Or did they flush the Space Toilet on the International Space Station....

Astroboffins solve birth of the Man in the Moon face

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Re: Man in the Moon. Pfffft.

Try looking at the moon and not in your rumpus room.

BOFH: GOATSE? No, I said goat fetis... you know what, forget it

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Re: I love goats.

"They're delicious."

Then you're cooking them wrong.


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Re: So...



Yep, crazy people tend to respond to the world around them in a crazy manner. This includes making crazy religions (not all of us think the Bible is a science textbook).

ZOMBIE apocalypse! The 'LIVING DEAD' are HERE – Fox News confirmed it

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Re: I want the video!

"Homeland Security is good for something, isn't it?"

Not until it passes the Turing test....

Horrific FLESH-EATING PLATYPUS once terrorised Australia

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Re: I dont need this so early in the morning..

"What cruel archetict of life has imagined such a vial and base thing?"

All your base thing are belong to us.

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Re: Size estimate based on single tooth

"More than one species has been identified by a single tooth"

Now that's one remarkable tooth...

Mine's the one with "Paleontology For Dummies" in the pocket.

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Re: Someone get SciFi Channel on the phone!

Put some robot parts in it: Platynator!

iPad 4 is so OVER: 5 times as many fanbois now using iPad Air - survey

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Re: I suppose...

"the faint whiff of BS"

Faint? It's overpowerin'!

Oh, I get it - it's so strong it makes you faint...

LOHAN's mighty thruster poised for hot coupling

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Pogo pins, perhaps?

These folks might have something suitable:


Unsung DEAD WHALE EXPLODER hero, who gave the early internet a purpose, passes away

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I wonder how Edgar K.B. Montrose would have handled it...


Yellow-bellied journo dons black tie, sees flip side of VMWorld

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Are you sure you want to be called a vExpert Trevor?

vex: to bring trouble, distress, or agitation; to irritate or annoy by petty provocations

spurt: a synonym for drip

I could be jealous as I'm only a certified ass-clown...

IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE! Google's secretive Omega tech just like LIVING thing

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Re: What behavior?

"The article spends a lot of time talking about "weird", "interesting", "non-deterministic" behavior, but doesn't give examples."

It was cavorting in an absolutely enormous tub of lime Jell-O with two hookers dressed in Japanese schoolgirl uniforms.

I'd better leave before my wife finds out....

Facebook fans fuel faggots firestorm

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Re: do they still teach English at schools?

English is optional. The only mandatory subject is Conformity.

Snowden: Oh, PLEASE let me come to Germany and help Merkel with her phone

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Re: Just wondering when Germany became part of the USA

Thursday. I'll leave it to you to work out which particular Thursday it was...

Google barge erection hypegasm latest - What's in the box?

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Even San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee didn't know what was aboard.

Well, DUH! Why would the mayor of any city waste his/her/its time on knowing the contents of barges?

Have you reinstalled Windows yet? No, I just want to PRINT THIS DAMN PAGE

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Re: Lasers are just as disposable.




There's your problem. You should never buy any Lexmark printer - they're all disposable.

'Tablet' no longer means 'iPad': Apple share PLUMMETS below 30%

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Re: what happens....

I think you had it right with "consumer hell".

Dark matter: Good news, everyone! We've found ... NOTHING AT ALL

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Re: RE: What do scientists do if dark matter can't be found?

"The dark matter is probably hiding deep in the oceans somewhere...;-)"

I don't think there's enough whale poo at the bottom of the ocean to explain all the missing mass.

Alien planet is just like EARTH - except for ONE tiny detail

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So that's where they go

This is the previous planet Earth from the last time the Mayan calendar ended....

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