* Posts by Euripides Pants

977 posts • joined 11 Feb 2012

Forget superstars, this HYPERGIANT star is 1,300 times the size of OUR SUN

Euripides Pants
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Gotta give it a better name

I vote for "Lumpy".

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SATANIC 'HELL DIAMOND' tells of sunless subterranean sea

Euripides Pants
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Trollface

Looks like Alien ate the T1000...

...and crapped it out.

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Battery vendors push ultracapacitor wrappers to give Li-ions more bite

Euripides Pants
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Mushroom

Re: What does nitro do for that engine?

Nitrous oxide delivers more oxygen to the engine so more fuel needs to be delivered to take full advantage of the extra oxygen. And, yes, improperly done this is an expensive, esoteric way to blow your engine up.

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Brawling neighbours challenge 'quiet' cul-de-sac myth

Euripides Pants
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Re: Tip toe through the cat crap

"That begs the question... what does the rest of the American side of your family think about guns?"

Well, after you've shot the neighbor's cats you really don't need the guns....

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Satisfy my scroll: El Reg gets claws on Windows 8.1 spring update

Euripides Pants
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Re: Linux desktop

"The Linux desktop is struggling at the moment, thanks to KDE4, Gnome3, the "Unity crack pipe" etc."

Got four words for that: Ex Eff See EEEE.....

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Top UK e-commerce sites fail to protect 'password' password-havers from selves

Euripides Pants
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FAIL

Re: Speaking of website logins

"Could someone please speak to the many website developers who consider accents in names illegal?"

In the US it is illegal as any non-standard name must belong to a Terrorist.

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Pure Storage CEO goes BALD after losing bet on firm's results

Euripides Pants
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Unhappy

how will Scott Dietzen inspire the troops later on this year?

I do NOT want to know what gets shaved next....

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Irish plod biro outrage invites Limerick Limerick challenge

Euripides Pants
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Those directly affected by this...

...would surely recite the World's Dirtiest Limerick when confronted by the pen shortage - the one thats so dirty that the words "blankety blank" have to be substituted for the most offensive bits and the reader has to fill in the (blankety) blanks.

Blankety blankety blank

Blankety blankety blank

Blankety blank

Blankety blank

Blankety river of shit

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Plod foils drone drug drop down under

Euripides Pants
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Happy

Re: "A man, a woman, a quadracopter and a bag of illicit drugs"

With the right f***ing drugs you'll hallucinate the f***ing snakes

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Show more CANADIAN-MADE PORN, insists Canadian government

Euripides Pants
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Re: "Hot beavers 5", " Maple Syrup Squirts 3" ...

Gives new meaning to "back bacon".....

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US judge Koh won't ban old Samsung gear, tells Apple: Your patents aren't that amazing

Euripides Pants
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Re: The problem with "thermonuclear war

"The only winning move is.... not to play"

Just like Gay Chicken

http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/comic/never-give-up-never-surrender

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eBay stockholders! There's MORE to COME, thunders Carl Icahn

Euripides Pants
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Re: just a douche

More like a monkey flinging crap

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Roll up, roll up for the Commentards' Ball

Euripides Pants
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Re: ... 'email me the pint instead'

I'm Old Skool, could you fax mine?

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CIA snoops snooped on Senate to spy spy torture report – report

Euripides Pants
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Trollface

Re: Tail wagging the dog.

"who runs the USA"

Rupert Murdoch, of course

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HTML is a sexually transmitted disease, say many Americans

Euripides Pants
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Boffin

Re: my brand new 3-Trilobyte hard disk!

Liar! Everyone knows that trilobyte size disks have been obsolete for 250 million years

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Icahn and I will: Carl's war on eBay goes NUCLEAR over Skype

Euripides Pants
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Re: Clearly...

more like "dork matter"....

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Japanese boffins build 'earring PC' for hands-free computing

Euripides Pants
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Thumb Up

operated by facial expression

Good for anyone desperately wanting to be nicknamed "Twitchy".

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Labour calls for BIG OVERHAUL of UK super-snoop powers in 'new digital world'

Euripides Pants
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Childcatcher

Re: OVERHAUL

"I have never seen any paedophile, extremist or terrorist activity on the internet"

You're not squinting hard enough...

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Reg reader rattles tin for GoPro camera 'Stubilizer'

Euripides Pants
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Unhappy

disappointed

With a name like "Stubiliser" I was looking forward to an article about the intersection of digital photography and shaving...

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Microsoft chairman John Thompson: Redmond looks 'like IBM in 1990'

Euripides Pants
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Headmaster

Re: Dumb move boyo.

There is nothing wrong with being or having a monopoly. The problem comes when that monopoly position is abused.

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Passenger jet grounded by two-hour insect attack

Euripides Pants
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Re: Internal obstruction...

More like the captain shouldn't have gone somewhere....

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Booze and bacon sarnies: A recipe for immortality?

Euripides Pants
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Holmes

Re: Bacon is a vegetable

No, bacon is Meat Candy!

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Steve Jobs statue: Ones and ohs and OH NOES – it's POINTING at us

Euripides Pants
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Facepalm

Re: RDF

Yeah, a urinal cake could beat that thing...

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Well done on the privacy lawsuit. Now NSA will keep your phone records INDEFINITELY

Euripides Pants
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Black Helicopters

Re: In the words of John Mckenroe

"they haven't noticeably laid waste to half a dozen countries or nerfed the global economy in recent times."

Thats what the Norks want you to think. Obama (like Dubya before him) is Kim Jong Un's sock puppet.

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50,000 women knocked up by big data, wearable tech, crowds and cloud

Euripides Pants
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Boffin

"Where's the control group study?"

Sitting at home eating cookie dough ice cream and watching romcoms

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Microsoft shunts top exec Julie Larson-Green sideways to make way for Stephen Elop

Euripides Pants
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Happy

Re: Ugh!!! So much for new management

"> Surface is an awesome product.

No it isn't; they can't give them away."

Thats what makes it awesome

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Euripides Pants
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Windows

Re: More popcorn, please

"It will be interesting to see what happens to XBox under Elop."

He'll light that platform on fire too...

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Ford to dump Microsoft's 'aggravating' in-car tech for ... BlackBerry?

Euripides Pants
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FAIL

Re: Mesmerized by Clippy!

It looks like you're trying to rip the in-car infotainment system out with your bare hands. Would you like help?

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LG offers BRAIN-SAVING CANCER-BL... er 'good luck charms'

Euripides Pants
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Unhappy

Re: Red Bull

"nobody really believes they do anything any more that we believe Lucky Charms are lucky or Red Bull gives you wings."

WHHAAAAT?!?!?!

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Robot army to police football World Cup

Euripides Pants
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Go

"Do they really think that they will be able to control the unrest in Brazil with a few robots?"

They can if the robots are...

PIRANHABOTS!!!

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Imprisoned Norwegian mass murderer says PlayStation 2 is 'KILLING HIM'

Euripides Pants
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Re: real misery

For real misery, they'd have to give him Amy's First Primer....

http://www.danielsays.com/ss-gallery-dos-sw-amys-first-primer-12.html

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Korean boffins launch K-Glass for hands-free Google Glass-ery

Euripides Pants
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Re: What is he on?

Augmented cocaine.

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Brit boffins brew up blight-resistant FRANKENSPUD

Euripides Pants
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Headmaster

Re: So, Doktor Frankenspud, we meet again!

That's Froderick Frahnkenshpood...

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'Please don't make me spend more time with my family...'

Euripides Pants
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game changer = We moved the goalposts. Again.

exceeds/exceeded expectations = At least we didn't crap in your toaster.

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SCRAP the TELLY TAX? Ancient BBC Time Lords mull Beeb's future

Euripides Pants
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Re: Cut my head off and it says 'BBC' through my neck

"But the day the BBC starts accepting advertising is the day I sell the telly."

Good move, 60 years of TV advertising is what got us The People of Walmart on the left side of the Atlantic.

Not going to post the URL for the People of Walmart website as it ain't pretty.

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IBM job cuts: Big Blue starts 'slaughter' of Indian and European workforce

Euripides Pants
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Trollface

Re: Yet the pitiful...

" continues to rear its ugly face"

Wrongo. You're facing its ugly rear....

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Random car shutdowns force Toyota to recall Prius hybrids - AGAIN

Euripides Pants
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Boffin

Re: So you don't want any airbags then ?

"Whereas smashing your head into the steering column under massive deceleration is positively healthy?"

You could try wearing a seatbelt.

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Scotland to test mobe signals slammer jammer

Euripides Pants
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Re: Signal strength

There better not be any bars in prisons! Convicted criminals should not be able to drown their sorrows with alcohol.

Mine's the one with the sterno in the pocket

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Boffin talks WATER on MARS: Granted, no 'smoking gun', but all clues flow there...

Euripides Pants
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Trollface

Re: Dark water?

"Isn't "dark" the usual, cosmological, prefix for tagging a phenomenon that the boffins think should exist, but can't quite find?"

Like dark humor?

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'No, I CAN'T write code myself,' admits woman in charge of teaching our kids to code

Euripides Pants
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Pint

Re: @Stacy

"He walked off grumbling, swearing, and complaining"

That deserves a few beers. Unfortunately, I can buy only one on this forum....

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HP to hire 400 people in Oz 'innovation centre'

Euripides Pants
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FAIL

HP Innovation and Collaboration Centre

More like the "We Don't Do Jack Shit Centre"

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Time to pack in your job: Someone FINALLY needs a cat vids curator

Euripides Pants
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"If it was full time instead of a part time role it would be nothing short of puurrrrrfect."

It is puurrrrrfect. Puurrrrrfect for Julie Newmar, that is...

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DARPA hands IBM £3.4m to develop SELF DESTRUCTING CHIPS

Euripides Pants
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IBM is the right company for this project

They have prior experience. Remember when OS/2 would "obliterate your software"?

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Microsoft's new CEO: The technology isn't his problem

Euripides Pants
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Joke

Re: @ShelLuser

BeOS is best!

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Asus unveils dirt-cheap Chromebox desktops with Haswell chips

Euripides Pants
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Re: Ohhh... I just had an idea!

"But what would you call such a rig?"

The 3 headed giant...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4SJ0xR2_bQ

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Schmidt gets $100m in Google stock on top of his $6m bonus

Euripides Pants
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Re: 100m of Google stock?

A shitload...

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El Reg BuzzFelch: 10 Electrical Connectors You CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT!

Euripides Pants
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Re: Lightening connector

Silly AC, the whole point of lightning is that it can't be contained by a connector...

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Symantec: WA-HEY... profits. But security firm's sales won't budge

Euripides Pants
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Re: Sekurity! through endless crashing

Surely that would be Suck-urity

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Boffins build electronic tongue that can distinguish between BEERS

Euripides Pants
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Joke

Re: Please...

Bender sez "Bite my shiny metal ass!"

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Storage overlord EMC announces growth, plans to slash 1,000 jobs

Euripides Pants
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"decrease the effects of back-end loading of customers"

Maybe they shouldn't make their customers take it in the @ss...

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