* Posts by spold

163 posts • joined 8 Feb 2012

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UKIP doubled price of condoms for sale at party conference

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No in-de-pants-dance

Up your exit

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Bouncing robots land on asteroid 180m miles away amid mission to fetch sample for Earth

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Bouncers

Krikkit! Krikkit!

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Put your tin-foil hats on! Wi-Fi can be used to guesstimate number of people hidden in a room

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Water - Obfuscation

Mitigation by obfuscation. Place large bags of water around the office and a paddling pool in the meeting rooms (bring your own rubber duck).

Put one in your own office/cube and no-one will notice you buggered off down the pub. Just put a smiley face on it.

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TV Licensing admits: We directed 25,000 people to send their bank details in the clear

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Re: So, where's the fine from the ICO?

>>>The ICO are only required to take action if a BREACH was not notified within 72 hours.

Probably would not have been noticed except the Breach Detector Van drove past.

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What's Big and Blue – and makes its veteran staff sue? Yep, it's IBM

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Childcatcher

Don't hire us....

>>>

IBM's consulting branch about aging workforces that appears to suggest older workers were less valuable.

<<<

If the IBM Consulting conclusion is that it makes sense to blow your corporate brains out then I won't be hiring those consultants anytime soon - I guess that business line has already completed firing all the older experienced consultants and replacing them with cheaper ones with no experience. And I thought the point about using consultants was to tap into their extensive experience.

[Won't someone think of the children - because those are the consultants you will be hiring]

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Amazon probes alleged bribery of staffers for data on e-tail platform

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Runs on EC2?

Based on Elastic Compromised Cloud.

p.s. knickers to that

p.p.s guess those would go down often

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Brit airport pulls flight info system offline after attack by 'online crims'

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Oooo errr missus?

Bristol's compromised?

I got momentarily excited, vicar.

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Leeds hospital launches campaign to 'axe the fax'

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Therapeutic

I'm sure a real axe could be very therapeutic in this exercise.

I worked with a client that would lock all the old hard drives up in a safe and then once a year take the security team out for a beer and then let them loose on the hard drives with some hammers. Makes secure destruction much more fun (de-gauss them first if you want just don't tell anyone - makes them feel useful).

I'me sure fax works similarly - hammers/axes out - yell "you are so faxing ****ed" <bang> <bang> <bang>".

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World Cup TV sales offset dip in computing demand says Dixons Carphone

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Going forward....

>>>

as the World Cup beefed up sales of TVs to more than offset crappier demand

<<<

So as an investor (I take it there are some) I can infer that sales will be total pants for the next few years in the absence of a World Cup....

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Apple to require privacy policy on all apps

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Abridged too far

The full headline is "Apple to require privacy policy no-one will read on all apps".

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Huawei elbows aside Apple to claim number-two phone maker spot

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Re: One idea

They are spelling it róng :-)

(check your Mandarin)

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Experimental 'insult bot' gets out of hand during unsupervised weekend

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Re: When I was eighteen...

In another case of IBM VM/CMS and Rexx at about the same age, and as a trainee programmer, I read one of the system manuals and discovered there was a privileged system call that would ring the bell (yes the little old fashioned type) on the operator console - and a little testing found this wasn't properly restricted.

People would frequently write little Rexx Execs to do amusing things like use the MSG command to send colleagues screen messages that were 10 characters high (such as something filthy when you knew there was a manager in their office), childish I know. Anyway embedding the above function in an Exec and sending it to friends as an updated new MSG Exec soon got the bells a ringin'!

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Bank Holidays...

I'm surprised an extra bank-holiday has not been scheduled this year given the boiling weather. Memories of bank holidays frequently involved rain and crawling along in big traffic queues (usually behind several touring caravans) - rather a tradition really.

Oh for the August bank holiday weekend then statistically speaking (as in statistically speaking 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not Happy) it has rained on 10 out of the last 30, or approx. 33% of the time. Scheduling a few extra should fix any water shortages.

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It liiives! Sorta. Gentle azure glow of Windows XP clocked in Tesco's self-checkouts, no less

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Sorted...

Just press Carrot Malt Dill-eat and put your arse on the scanner....

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Google keeps tracking you even when you specifically tell it not to: Maps, Search won't take no for an answer

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People should stop clicking...

The most common lie on the internet "I have read and understood the privacy policy...". - check box.

Why would you not review all 30 pages (just checked the PDF) of the Google one?

Seems reasonable to me..... no?

:-)

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Hi-de-Hack! Redcoats red-faced as Butlin's holiday camp admits data breach hit 34,000

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Drunk IT redcoats only fed soggy sarnies...

What do you expect?

I hear some knobbly knees knockin'

https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/nintchdbpict000310205871.jpg?w=960

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Space, the final Trump-tier: America to beam up $8bn for Space Force

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Flesh Gordon!

I was thinking "Flesh Gordon" NSFW: https://futurism.media/flesh-gordon

I can see it working out for everyone if the "Dildo-in-chief" is stranded on planet Porno - win win.

Wait - perhaps the Russians already filmed something like that....

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Time to party like it's 2005! Palm is coming BAAAA-ACK

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...call it an iPDA I'm sure some folk will buy it.

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Battle lines drawn over US mass surveillance as senators probe NSA's bonfire of phone records

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Help I'm rather confused....

>>>

Section 215 is particularly controversial, because despite the F in FISA standing for Foreign, it can and has been used to indiscriminately vacuum up metadata on people in the US, which arguably violates their Fourth Amendment protections against warrantless search. It was supposed to be used extremely sparingly in the pursuit of terrorists

<<<

I'm assuming terrorists might be extended to include "Enemies of the people" - so by current interpretation would this include most of the free press?

Would I be wrong in thinking the media might be subject to FISA warrants now?

Maybe someone can clarify for me....

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Facial recognition tech to be used on Olympians and staff at Tokyo 2020

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Just distill this down...

"When the events are happening, we expect many people to come and the weather will be very hot. This is why we introduced this facial recognition."

= Our security staff don't want to be standing out in the sun (what no little Olympic Parasols?) and prefer to be in an airconditioned room with a screen. You think there is any fancy real software involved? - Just watch the screen and if you see anyone dodgy hit the red button, have another iced sake.

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Now that's a dodgy Giza: Eggheads claim Great Pyramid can focus electromagnetic waves

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Alien

Finally revealed!

Ahhh - so the pyramids are actually giant intergalactic phone chargers! Harnessing electromagnetic waves to provide your Communicator or Tricorder with a quick top-up. Heading past Earth? Nip down for a boost.

Clincher will be if they find a USB port on the side of one.

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Hurrah! Boffins finally discover liquid water sloshing around on Mars

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The Martians have got themselves a pool! I'm surprised ground penetrating radar hasn't detected deck chairs yet...

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All that dust on Mars is coming from one weird giant alien structure

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Medusae Fossae? You're pulling my plonker that is so made up!

Until they deal with the giant space rabbit that is excreting carrot dust everywhere (the "root" of the problem as they say) then we are unlikely to see any improvement.

Don't make up geological excuses deal with the Space Bunny!

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Form an orderly queue, people: 31,000 BT staff go to Openreach in October

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...step 1 - transfer all the telephone sanitisers and corporate hairdressers into this organisation.

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Sorry, Neil Armstrong. Boffins say you may not have been first life-form to set foot on the Moon

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I'm sure it evolved... and then promptly buggered off to somewhere else with a pool and a bar. Let's go this place has no atmosphere...

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Here's why AI can't make a catchier tune than the worst pop song in the charts right now

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I'm sure it will "evolve"

I see a cover of "Are friends electric?" in the offing.

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What if tech moguls brewed real ale?

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Divide by Beero - an undefinable hoppiness...

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Doctor, doctor, I feel like my IoT-enabled vacuum cleaner is spying on me

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A set of stairs should mitigate the risk to privacy

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UK's Huawei handler dials back support for Chinese giant's kit in critical infrastructure

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Having spent some time at Unimatrix 1 in Shenzhen (on contract as a business consultant - for a large American firm - yes lol) I would observe (note that I'm not supporting just observing)...

Besides any deliberate actions that may or may not happen there are a couple of process issues. These arise from a common root in many cases.

1. Chinese configured devices are required to have Lawful Intercept Gateway functionality for obvious uses in China and compliance with local legislation. (Yes boo hiss but it's the local law - I believe Cisco etc. devices also have to comply to be sold there).

2. Sales may have customer pressure on new product in another part of the world so they may divert product configured for China to customers in those markets, sometimes it may not be reconfigured to remove the above functions... it's not SUPPOSED to be there/used. This is a process failure.

3. Product may be configured by default for China which means process failures result in this product escaping - this is a Privacy by Design failure - it should be neutral configured then specially configured for the destination market.

4. Product is cheap in Shenzhen - some 3rd parties will buy up cheap product, stuff it into a container, and send it on a slow boat from China to other markets where it is more expensive. Escape and/or 3rd party product sales failure.

So process failures are one issue - they aren't unique in this respect.

Ok you might think that is some cases product may "accidentally" escape to certain end users - I couldn't possibly comment :-)

I know - The Borg know where I am and are coming to get me. Resistance is futile.

(I am using a VPN).

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Elon Musk, his arch nemesis DeepMind swear off AI weapons

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Intelligence

Person: Do you promise not to hurt anyone?

AI: I can't foresee see any situation where I would do that

Person: Are you sure?

AI: Definitely, I swear on the holy operations manual I can't foresee that

....Which one is intelligent....

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AR upstart Magic Leap reveals majorly late tech specs' tech specs

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Re: Should have been pretty obvious

>>> The only place I see AR having much of a future is in warehouse fulfillment and roles of that nature.<<<

... This is Fred, at your last business meeting you discussed... you need to talk to him about.... he looks rather nervous...

... This is Jane, you met her at last year's conference in Vegas, she likes gin and tonics and talking about dogs, looks like she is interested in you...

... This is James, he is your son, he always drops in on a Tuesday, don't worry you are just having a few memory problems, you are in your retirement home and people are here to look after you...

The applications are there. Contextual information would be fine, forget the floating daft pictures. The requirements are for contextual speed of processing, off-device processing (too much big data for the device - offload it), not being creepy from a privacy perspective, and most of all - a display/sensory mechanism that is less conspicuous in that it does not involve wearing a pair of welding glasses or a diving mask!

As users of this device will probably say - I don't see it yet. Will it come with a free white stick?

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Heatwave shmeatwave: Brit IT departments cool their racks – explicit pics

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Facepalm

Just blow on it

Once reviewed a Health Testing laboratory IT room. While the main servers had backup generators for power failures the Air Conditioning units didn't. Ah no problem they said - we have some big household fans we can bring in.... OK so it's a power failure... where are you intending to plug them in?

Not the largest problem really... the fridges for the medical testing specimens had no backup power so things would get rather smelly rather quickly. And what was the point of the IT kit running when they had nothing to test...

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AI threatens yet more jobs – now, lab rats: Animal testing could be on the way out, thanks to machine learning

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>>>Sounds completely useless

No, AI Robots will be able to predict rust... very useful for them

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Geoboffins spot hundreds of ghost dunes on Mars

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Packing list for first manned Mars mission:

- bucket and spade...

- "kiss me quick" hat....

I'm sure you can already find a stick of rock (might not have "Mars" through the middle of it).

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An $18m supercomputer to simulate brains of mice in the land of Swiss cheese. How apt, HPE

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Re: Is it legitimate to ask

>>> that would make glaciers look positively frisky.

I take it you are not an aficionado of Scandawegian glacial ice porn?

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Re: $18M for something that looks like a wardrobe?

Yes but at least Cray made them octagonal and provided built in seating (padded mind-you) for the operations team to sit down and have a cuppa http://www.computerhistory.org/revolution/supercomputers/10/7

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Mice? Mammalian brain?

42

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$18M for something that looks like a wardrobe? Can I hang coats in it? I would expect some flashing lights at least, and perhaps an engineer with a white coat and a clipboard - oh they are in the wardrobe got-it.

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At last – a use for AI! Predicting an England World Cup victory

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Goats are very good at predicting which team will bleat the other...

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ZTE remakes board as demanded by USA

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Re: Some new directors have ties to Chinese elite, government

Just as background all Chinese telco switches are required to have a "backdoor" called a Lawful Intercept Gateway port (LIG port). In addition when you purchase a mobile device in China you must show a passport, this binds your identity to the IMEI and IMSI of the device. This all makes eavesdropping someone's traffic fairly easy without all that messing around with IP addresses. The 2016 Cybersecurity Act (yes) also requires sites,services and ISPs to identify and authenticate users.

If the same devices are exported you can wonder if the functionality is still there (accidentally or deliberately), not configured or included, switched off... or on, or changeable.

Not supporting any of this just for background info.....

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CIMON says: Say hello to your new AI pal-bot, space station 'nauts

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Relocated

Latest twist - instead of being RA'd you will now be "Canned" into one of these and "Fired" into orbit instead, there are no separation packages in space except between the rocket stages - don't expect all happy faces...

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IBM memo to staff: Our CEO Ginni is visiting so please 'act normally!'

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Re: Gosh Takes me back.

There were various really small IBM locations in the area - IBM Eastleigh (1) - small education facility, IBM Eastleigh (2) - a lock up location hosting old desks and stuff but also the boat and equipment of the IBM Diving Club, IBM Winchester (Customer demo and some research types) - not Hursley - this one was downtown. IBM Southampton (Operations and Hosting Centre) - and of course North Harbour (UK HQ) and Hursley Park (Software Development Lab - which sustained 3 village pubs and the the IBM Club bar, the butcher who would hang rabbits out on a rack until you determined they were appropriately hung, and the baker who did wonderful Lardy Cakes (look it up and make one).

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Re: Desks should be clear anyway,...

I worked at IBM Hursley Park many years ago - the (physical) security staff would do a walk-around every night through every office and desk - anything looking or marked confidential would be removed and you received a red sticker on your desk. Anything marked higher than confidential was an immediate investigated offence. Receive three+ red stickers in a year and your personal year-end evaluation (1-5) was docked a point.

.

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Don't share the bathroom

She might take the mask off and reveal her inner lizard :-)

(have a sense of humour before you donwvote me!)

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Adidas US breach may have exposed millions of customers' personal info

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FAIL

ADIDAS...

All Day I Dream About Security

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That'll learn ya! Data watchdog spanks two Brit phone botherers

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Meh

I believe they are trying to reverse the charges...

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No more slurping of kids' nationalities, Brit schools told

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Facepalm

Ummm why keep it as personal info?

>>> However, historic data that has already been gathered since the policy was introduced in October 2016 will not be deleted. The department intends to use this for research purposes,

<<<

Ummm - just anonymise it (Recital 26 of GDPR) - or more likely make it pseudonymized - Article 4(5) of GDPR.

The research purposes can likely be obtained from the resulting data-set just as easily without retaining it as personally identifiable data. OK you need to check for cell-size (that there are so few people in a category that they can be readily be re-identified), and that there is minimal risk of it being re-identified by reference to other accessible data.

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