* Posts by spold

194 posts • joined 8 Feb 2012

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'Unjustifiably excessive': Not even London cops can follow law with their rubbish gang database

spold
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Sometimes it's just the context

In cases like this one it's not just WHAT it says that is sensitive but the fact that you are in the database at all - which may infer an association. So just basic identity information name address etc. would be highly sensitive as it may imply a gang association. So "green" listing people is just as bad. Approaches such as saying oh I will encrypt the sensitive fields doesn't cut it.

Same in healthcare - if your name is in the database for adult mental healthcare and addictions for whatever minor or past reason just the identity management database is serious stuff.

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Want to hack a hole-in-the-wall cash machine for free dosh? It's as easy as Windows XP

spold
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Combined attack

Other than hacking the machine and convincing it to spew spondooly, then a physical attack might be simpler. However (and I've no idea if it is connected) anything you could do to disable any dye pack trigger would also be great. Then you can just hack it with a pickaxe or something.

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Between you, me and that dodgy-looking USB: A little bit of paranoia never hurt anyone

spold
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Malware removal

Malware can effectively be removed from any freebie USB device by placing it in the office microwave for 30 seconds.

The same works with company phone SIM cards when you change jobs - I found 20 seconds to be sufficient actually. You should always follow company policy and use the office microwave and not your own that has not been inspected by the security group.

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Oi, Elon: You Musk sort out your Autopilot! Tesla loyalists tell of code crashes, near-misses

spold
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Adds a new dimension to "my software just crashed".

Efficiently and stylishly leading you to one of life's off-ramps.

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My hoard of obsolete hardware might be useful… one day

spold
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Top you all with a Science of Cambridge (Sinclair) MK14 Microprocessor Development Kit

The membrane keyboard must be the most useless piece of computer hardware ever - even when it was new.

If you have a cassette recorder still you can even keep your programs (on months without an "R" and no rain and the processor aligned with a chicken).

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Foxconn denies it will ship Chinese factory serf, er, workers into America for new plant

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Re: Sounds like a mess

Yes between Trump and Foxconn they probably overestimated the supply of workers with little hands to assemble these small devices in the US.

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Which scientist should be on the new £50 note? El Reg weighs in – and you should vote, too

spold
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Given the minimal everyday users perhaps we should poll currency smugglers as to who they would like to see on the 50s in their suitcases.

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Now Europe wants a four-million-quid AI-powered lie detector at border checkpoints

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Paris Hilton

AI...

Cmon for all the b€€lions this puppy is going to cost it's going to have some freaking fantastic AI abilities.... something like:

1. Determine entrant's claimed nationality

2. Present a variety of national food dishes to entrant

3. Recognise when entrant smiles at one

4. Compare claimed nationality to dish nationality - Bingo! (or not)

OK I could just train a hamster to do this but it wouldn't have a sexy AI tag giving it the cheap-at-half-the-price sticker - before tax and overruns of course (include virtual reality and/or blockchain and you could easily justify triple the cost )...

[Paris - this is going to be one expensive pussy]

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Need electric propulsion for your satellite? Want a 'made in Britain' sticker? Step right this way...

spold
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Satellites seem more suitable use than planetary vehicles - better for your local puttering service stopping at Slough really. Since xenon is only formed in supernova explosions you are only going to find it at rather select filling stations around the galaxy.

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Woman who hooked up with over 15 spectres has found her forever phantom after whirlwind romance and plane sex

spold
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She has a queue of people wanting to put the willies up her

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Top AI conference NIPS won't change its name amid growing protest over 'bad taste' acronym

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Obviously the name needs tweaking

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Tech world mulls threat as new round of US China trade tariffs looms

spold
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The new Silk Road thing mentioned is actually very real in China and underway - it's called One Belt One Road, it will make use of the markets and capabilities it "flows" through (spurs also include Africa). Since this encompasses manufacturing as well as retail then establishing a country of origin will be interesting.

With rising salary and other costs in China, they have already been outsourcing some production and assembly to other cheaper markets, e.g. Indonesia - which is one of the endpoints of the the Belt and Road.

(BTW this also links to Vision 2046 - when Hong Kong is entirely integrated into China and One China Two Systems disappears - the vision is that then Hong Kong will be the Financial Engine, Shenzhen will be the R&D engine, and the wider Guangdong province (+ Belt and Road) does the manufacturing.)

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Cathay Pacific hack: Personal data of up to 9.4 million airline passengers laid bare

spold
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It's OK....

In future the data will now be transferred across the Pearl River delta (possibly using the new bridge) and held in a highly secure Chinese mainland database.

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UK data watchdog fines Facebook 17 minutes of net profit for Cambridge Analytica brouhaha

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Reciprocity

The Chinese Cyber Protection Act (no tittering at the back) allows for detention of corporate officers during the investigation of breaches. The prospect of being detained in a Chinese jail far outweighs the paltry 120K penalty - sort of gets the attention. Perhaps we can arrange some sort of deal whereby UK cases include being detained in a Chinese jail while ICO considers things...

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F***=off, Google tells its staff: Any mention of nookie now banned from internal files, URLs

spold
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Reminds me of....

Reminds me of the old story of poor old Mrs Babcock who was constantly having her material blocked by nannyware - and who used Babpenis instead which was accepted just fine...

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I ship you knot: 2,400-year-old Greek trading vessel found intact at bottom of Black Sea

spold
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Re: Leave it there

Given the depth, rather than divers etc lopping off bits, it would seem more likely someone drops a whopping power/telco etc. cable on top of it.

Or the mast may attract so much plastic waste it starts to sail off somewhere by itself.

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London flatmate (Julian Assange) sues landlord (government of Ecuador) in human rights spat

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There comes a point....

When Ecuador just decides to move it's embassy to a new building and not tell him...

(please take the cat - an unhappy pussy is always a problem)

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NASA's Chandra probe suddenly becomes an EX-ray space telescope (for now, anyway)

spold
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Call the help desk

Apparently the offshore helpless desk just told them to switch it off and switch it back on again.

Sorted.

(I'm sure one day there may be NASA offplanet help desks that will be just as useless. Press 1 for Martian, 2 for Klingon.... your subspace call is really important to us... current wait-time is 25 earth days...)

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Microsoft Surface to die in 2019? Not while Redmond keeps making it, er, blush

spold
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Predictable?

Surface Go one minute Surface Gone the next. Should be an easy rebrand.

Surface ---> Sunk?

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AI's next battlefield is literally the battlefield: In 20 years, bots will fight our wars – Army boffin

spold
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If they ever get to the "take me to your leader" stage they are going to be sorely disappointed in some countries

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Russian rocket goes BOOM again – this time with a crew on it

spold
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Performed as expected...

At least it seems to have had a viable and tested emergency system rather than something rather hopeful...

Soviet era emergency system I guess - may look uglier than a peasant in a pigsty but sturdier than a brick shit-house.

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Russian 'troll factory' firebombed – but still fit to fiddle with our minds

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Devil

Troll factory

Trolls within trolls like the matryoshka dolls? - Matrolloshka? - collective name for Russian trolls?

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UK space comes to an 'understanding' with Australia as Brexit looms

spold
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No contingency..

<Sigh> these arrangements invariably boomerang or get turned upside-down, wattle they do then?

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UK.gov asks biz for ideas on how to 'overcome' data privacy concerns in NHS

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There are many challenges to be addressed e.g. ....

- De-identification - more challenging than it seems since often data has to be longitudinal (maintains individual patient histories) to get the best value out of it, but if not properly performed then knowledge of one patient event can allow you to re-identify that patient's entire record

- Application Audit for created initiatives/devices etc. Essentially data access audit at the Application level (why does doctor x prescribe drugs where the patient address matches addresses in the HR database). Scotland has invested in tools to do this. Needs to extend into these uses as well.

- Appropriate review and oversight by Data Access Committee/Research Ethics Board which have suitable skilled members (the last bit being very important) to consider the benefits and risks to proposed initiatives. As well as establishing appropriate oversight of the actual access.

As a side matter - I did work with a large hospital that was slicing and dicing data in their own data-mart for research purposes, but had also poured all the HR data into it... I said - oh so now you can compare how many patients of doctor x die versus doctor y and factor in how much you pay them, to optomise staff on a kill-cost basis!

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Robot Operating System gets the Microsoft treatment

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Pint

Recycle

Windows RT ---> Windows RusT

[Mine's a pint of oil please]

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UK.gov looks to data to free people from contract lock-in doom

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Please suspend the notions of sensible and practical...

GDPR - and through it the UK Data Protection Act - enshrines the obligation that if I get pissed of with any supplier (banks, insurance, power whatever) I can go to them and say "you know what you suck, I'm moving to [newco] - please parcel up all my data and send it down the street to them so I still have all my historical and account data without me farting around giving it to them". As an idealistic privacy guy and a consumer I think this is a jolly good idea! Put my IT hat on I say WTF!!!! how!!! what format!!! etc....

So it is a wonderful idea for the best of reasons but nobody involved actually understood or gave a flying fuck about the realities of doing so....

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Where's my money?! UK Info Commish squeezes data controllers while brandishing £4,350 fine

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Pay up or else...

Remember those guys in the nice blue jackets with ICO Enforcement on the back (want one)?

Pay up or we send the boys 'round!

https://www.irishtimes.com/polopoly_fs/1.3438411.1521838891!/image/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/box_620_330/image.jpg

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Amazon Alexa outage: Voice-activated devices are down in UK and beyond

spold
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Emergency control device

Stuck on Radio 4? Wake-up alarm still blaring?

Buy my Alexa emergency function cancellation device!

(Might look suspiciously like a hammer)

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NASA to celebrate 55th anniversary of first Moon landing by, er, deciding how to land humans on the Moon again

spold
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Not just space that is vacuous....

Honestly is that the best they can come up with?

Yes we know it's a lump of rock - been there done that.

If you really want to prep for long trips with new hardware then why not do something original and with a long term future...e.g. build a shipyard at Lagrange point L4 or L5 (stable). Perhaps even call it Utopia Planetia....

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UKIP doubled price of condoms for sale at party conference

spold
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No in-de-pants-dance

Up your exit

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Bouncing robots land on asteroid 180m miles away amid mission to fetch sample for Earth

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Bouncers

Krikkit! Krikkit!

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Put your tin-foil hats on! Wi-Fi can be used to guesstimate number of people hidden in a room

spold
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Water - Obfuscation

Mitigation by obfuscation. Place large bags of water around the office and a paddling pool in the meeting rooms (bring your own rubber duck).

Put one in your own office/cube and no-one will notice you buggered off down the pub. Just put a smiley face on it.

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TV Licensing admits: We directed 25,000 people to send their bank details in the clear

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Re: So, where's the fine from the ICO?

>>>The ICO are only required to take action if a BREACH was not notified within 72 hours.

Probably would not have been noticed except the Breach Detector Van drove past.

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What's Big and Blue – and makes its veteran staff sue? Yep, it's IBM

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Childcatcher

Don't hire us....

>>>

IBM's consulting branch about aging workforces that appears to suggest older workers were less valuable.

<<<

If the IBM Consulting conclusion is that it makes sense to blow your corporate brains out then I won't be hiring those consultants anytime soon - I guess that business line has already completed firing all the older experienced consultants and replacing them with cheaper ones with no experience. And I thought the point about using consultants was to tap into their extensive experience.

[Won't someone think of the children - because those are the consultants you will be hiring]

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Amazon probes alleged bribery of staffers for data on e-tail platform

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Runs on EC2?

Based on Elastic Compromised Cloud.

p.s. knickers to that

p.p.s guess those would go down often

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Brit airport pulls flight info system offline after attack by 'online crims'

spold
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Oooo errr missus?

Bristol's compromised?

I got momentarily excited, vicar.

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Leeds hospital launches campaign to 'axe the fax'

spold
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Therapeutic

I'm sure a real axe could be very therapeutic in this exercise.

I worked with a client that would lock all the old hard drives up in a safe and then once a year take the security team out for a beer and then let them loose on the hard drives with some hammers. Makes secure destruction much more fun (de-gauss them first if you want just don't tell anyone - makes them feel useful).

I'me sure fax works similarly - hammers/axes out - yell "you are so faxing ****ed" <bang> <bang> <bang>".

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World Cup TV sales offset dip in computing demand says Dixons Carphone

spold
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Going forward....

>>>

as the World Cup beefed up sales of TVs to more than offset crappier demand

<<<

So as an investor (I take it there are some) I can infer that sales will be total pants for the next few years in the absence of a World Cup....

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Apple to require privacy policy on all apps

spold
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Abridged too far

The full headline is "Apple to require privacy policy no-one will read on all apps".

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Huawei elbows aside Apple to claim number-two phone maker spot

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Re: One idea

They are spelling it róng :-)

(check your Mandarin)

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Experimental 'insult bot' gets out of hand during unsupervised weekend

spold
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Re: When I was eighteen...

In another case of IBM VM/CMS and Rexx at about the same age, and as a trainee programmer, I read one of the system manuals and discovered there was a privileged system call that would ring the bell (yes the little old fashioned type) on the operator console - and a little testing found this wasn't properly restricted.

People would frequently write little Rexx Execs to do amusing things like use the MSG command to send colleagues screen messages that were 10 characters high (such as something filthy when you knew there was a manager in their office), childish I know. Anyway embedding the above function in an Exec and sending it to friends as an updated new MSG Exec soon got the bells a ringin'!

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spold
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Bank Holidays...

I'm surprised an extra bank-holiday has not been scheduled this year given the boiling weather. Memories of bank holidays frequently involved rain and crawling along in big traffic queues (usually behind several touring caravans) - rather a tradition really.

Oh for the August bank holiday weekend then statistically speaking (as in statistically speaking 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not Happy) it has rained on 10 out of the last 30, or approx. 33% of the time. Scheduling a few extra should fix any water shortages.

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It liiives! Sorta. Gentle azure glow of Windows XP clocked in Tesco's self-checkouts, no less

spold
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Sorted...

Just press Carrot Malt Dill-eat and put your arse on the scanner....

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Google keeps tracking you even when you specifically tell it not to: Maps, Search won't take no for an answer

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People should stop clicking...

The most common lie on the internet "I have read and understood the privacy policy...". - check box.

Why would you not review all 30 pages (just checked the PDF) of the Google one?

Seems reasonable to me..... no?

:-)

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Hi-de-Hack! Redcoats red-faced as Butlin's holiday camp admits data breach hit 34,000

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Drunk IT redcoats only fed soggy sarnies...

What do you expect?

I hear some knobbly knees knockin'

https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/nintchdbpict000310205871.jpg?w=960

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Space, the final Trump-tier: America to beam up $8bn for Space Force

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Flesh Gordon!

I was thinking "Flesh Gordon" NSFW: https://futurism.media/flesh-gordon

I can see it working out for everyone if the "Dildo-in-chief" is stranded on planet Porno - win win.

Wait - perhaps the Russians already filmed something like that....

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