* Posts by spold

249 posts • joined 8 Feb 2012


Ever used VFEmail? No? Well, chances are you never will now: Hackers wipe servers, backups in 'catastrophic' attack

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Could be worse...

Who is to say the hackers did not make a copy of all the current mail on the system? In which case it is also a breach of personal information.

And since they are marketing their services to customers in the EU then it would also be a breach under GDPR....

Tits-up and fined. OK probably couldn't be worse. Unless disgruntled people come start doing nasty things to your bits in revenge for losing theirs. That would be worse. Given the week they are having perhaps they should consider Outer Mongolian yak herding as a new business model.

One click and you're out: UK makes it an offence to view terrorist propaganda even once

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Easy get-out?

Meh... the amendment also says...

(3)It is a defence for a person charged with an offence under this section to prove that he had a reasonable excuse for his action or possession.

Just say you were searching for hamster porn, and the stuff was obviously, & disappointingly, miscategorised.

p.s. the rest of the text also says "he" and "his" so if you are of the girly persuasion then I guess you don't commit an offence and can access as much as you want.

Prez Trump orders Uncle Sam to step up AI efforts – we all know the White House knows a lot about artificial intelligence

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More frightening than a winged monkey in Munchkinland

I'd unravel ev'ry riddle for my

Artificial Individdle

In trouble or in pain

With the thoughts that you'll be thinkin'

You could be another Lincoln

If you only had a brain.

From Red Planet to deep into the red: Suicidal extrovert magnet Mars One finally implodes

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It's bin deep fried

London's Met police confess: We made just one successful collar in latest facial recog trial

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I'm going to re-market my brollies as digital surveillance defence shields

European Commission orders mass recall of creepy, leaky child-tracking smartwatch

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Re: Tip of the Iceberg

>>>there'll be no corresponding way of getting it withdrawn in the UK

The cunning plan is since they are hackable and geo-locatable then we can communicate to little Timmy that he needs to go and deposit his smartwatch in the bin. We can tell if he has done it, and if not we know where he is and can go round and rip it off his arm.


Q. What do you call an IT admin for 20-plus young children? A. A teacher

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>What do you call an IT admin for 20-plus young children?

A masochist

>"We give them our adult defenses," Smolen said

It's the US - this means guns! Shoot them darn pesky hackers. :-)

"Use conjoined or complex passphrases such as.... Horatiofuckwaffle!" - 20 students now have this as their password....

Fine, we'll do it the Huawei, says Uncle Sam: CFO charged with fraud, faces extradition to US over Iran trade claims

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(Uncle) Sammy not happy over

Huawei Cathy (*),

Crappy Tappy, &


Tariff Spatty.

(*) if you can't work out Chinese name orders call Wanzhou by one of her chosen English names (Cathy or Sabrina), Cathy Meng is a preferred one I believe.

Amazon's titchy robots hit the streets, Waymo starts a self-driving car factory...

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Re: Scout - what could possibly go wrong?

I see a market for installing Faraday cages in horse-boxes. Pull up in front of them, drop the rear ramp, let them trot in.... communications lost & off to my fence (got to keep the horse meme going).

Whats(goes)App must come down... World in shock as Zuck decides to intertwine Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp

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Re: WhatAInstaMess

...and it has AI in the name so the share price just doubled

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Re: WhatAInstaMess

...because none of you is as valuable as all of you

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I'm sorry our pile of data about you just wasn't big enough.

You(r data) will be assimilated.

So this is how that terrifying killer AI will end us... by pushing us down hospital wait lists?

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Gets smarter..

Assume it will quickly learn which patients are unlikely to survive and lower their appointment priority as there is no point in upping it .

This would improve care to the treatable patients obviously.... no problem with that is there....

(alternatively "You have an appointment at the morgue department at 10am next thursday, please bring a sheet").

'Nun' drops goat head on pavement outside Cheltenham 'Spoons

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That's the trouble with them Weatherspoon dinner specials - one minute goat head next minute nun left

Nissan EV app password reset prompts user panic

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Re: WAIT! Hang on, back up a second ...

A limited set of dashboard gauges is available with the free version, if you want the full set of the ones referred to these are available with the paid version.

Indicate left, apply the handbrake, and toot the horn (simultaneously) to reBOOT and apply the upgrades.

If you haven't reset your password then I'm afraid you are going nowhere.

Don't worry if you breakdown we know where you are and we are coming to get you. Our privacy policy is clearly displayed on the inside of the petrol tank.

Huawei's horror show 2019 continues as Taiwanese research institute joins banhammer club

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Why is this a surprise?

It's Taiwan - given relations why would they not climb aboard the bannedwagon

xHamster reports spike in UK users getting their five-knuckle shuffle on before pr0n age checks

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>"I'm not a porn user myself"

>Sounds like something a porn user would say.

Yes and truncated .... "I'm not a porn user myself, vicar"

Steamer closets, flying cars, robot boxers, smart-mock-cock ban hypocrisy – yes, it's the worst of CES this year

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But also, all these new-fangled air taxi companies are selling the idea of these things being autonomous – they pick you up and fly you to where you want to be automatically.


Ahhh the Ben and Jerry's autonomous Mexican flying vehicle - since it fucks Wall's

Typical! You wait ages for a fast radio burst from outer space, and suddenly 13 show up

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Farty Radio Bursts - they can be detrimental to the atmosphere.

Reg Standards Bureau introduces the Devon fatberg as coastal town menaced by oily blob

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Proper fat units please...

How big is this in megawobbles?

Nobody in China wants Apple's eye-wateringly priced iPhones, sighs CEO Tim Cook

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Not even top 10....

Ain't got the cachet any more (pretty much Huawei at that end) or the RMB price tag to match.

Recent Chinese market rankings I have....

1. Vivo (Chinese Dongguan - oh wait Huawei just opened up a new co-HQ there - other being Shenzhen)

2. Oppo (also Chinese Guangdong)

3. Honor - Huawei's lower market brand

4. Huawei (I spoke to several of their senior management in Shenzhen - their objective was to be better than Apple not cheaper) - see previous one for cheaper

5. Xiaomi - no surprise

6. Meizu - also Chinese

7. OnePlus - Shenzhen

8. Lenovo - go on IBM have a cry

9. Qiku - Shenzhen - anyone want a qiku one?

10. Smartisan - Beijing

Ummm. who is missing?

Um, I'm not that Gary, American man tells Ryanair after being sent other Gary's flight itinerary

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Re: It'll never happen...

Emailing the privacy office contact (dpo@ryanair.com incidentally)and threatening a GDPR complaint to the regulator SHOULD BE effective. If not follow through.

It also follows that the true owner of these itineraries is not getting the emails (since they are going to this Gary not the other Gary). It's a little unfair but you can encourage other Gary to fix - since you have travel date and Airline locator code then consistently checking him in and moving the seat to the one next to the toilet should be a motivation (OK assumes he has paid for a seat selection lol).

New Horizons probe reveals Ultima Thule is huge, spinning... chicken drumstick?

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This presents the problem as to how to nudge it into a suitable earth grilling trajectory using a close solar fly-by, and then how to efficiently coat it in bbq sauce.

(Of course with a suitable final re-entry sear, possibly with help from Bruce Willis, and subsequently an end to world starvation. Try digging that bone up in 10 million years - obviously the dinosaurs evolved into something rather tasty).

GDPR: Four letters that put fear into firms' hearts in 2018

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Data Subject Access Rights (and the Right to be irritating...)

Hmmm - needs the right type of fear - GDPR facilitates a number of Data Subject Access Rights - these are both insightful at an individual level, and very irritating should they be applied extensively or en masse (not that I encourage privacy activism/terrorism) as the Privacy Officer and their dog can get rather overwhelmed. Also the IT challenges of some of these are very interesting.The California Consumer Privacy Act also covers many of these so that should be entertaining as things get close to home...

the right to be informed about the collection and the use of their personal data

>> meh but ask them to list all the uses - probably interesting

the right to access personal data and supplementary information

>> I want it all Mr. Facebook! In paper please, I can probably heat my house for the year

the right to have inaccurate personal data rectified, or completed if it is incomplete

>>I think <random element> is inaccurate please change...repeat

the right to erasure (to be forgotten) in certain circumstances

>>You don't need that bit any more please delete it, including in backups

the right to restrict processing in certain circumstances

>> ask if they are processing any information on a legitimate interest basis and the justification for it

the right to data portability, which allows the data subject to obtain and reuse their personal data for their own purposes across different services

>>hey Whatscrapp please bundle everything up for me and send it to Weshat! (OK you might be creating another problem but still...)

the right to object to processing in certain circumstances

>> ask to restrict processing pending erasure

rights in relation to automated decision making and profiling

>> notify them that you object to any form of profiling and request them to declare current uses

the right to withdraw consent at any time (where relevant)

>> find one of the uses above and dissect it - say you consent to this bit but not to that

the right to complain to the Information Commissioner

>>if you don't like any of the answers above you know who to complain to

An upset tummy and a sphincter-loosening blackout: Lunar spaceflight is all glamour

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Re: Fake news! The moon landings were a hoax!


they'll send down a JarJar Binks clone to run for World Leader


Pretty much bin-dun except slightly stranger.

London Gatwick Airport reopens but drone chaos perps still not found

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Re: Mass hysteria, sightings of the Virgin Mary, the Emperor's New Clothes, false positives

What we can deduce from this (ignoring the false positive or not) is that the threat has now been "sensitised".

That means I don't even have to go to the expense of buying a drone in future, I can just make some reports of sightings or even send in a stock/photo-shopped image or two and this is likely now sufficient to cause a closure/disruption.

London's Gatwick airport suspends all flights after 'multiple' reports of drones

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Re: I wonder if...

I see the problem, adjusting for size the authorities should be preparing for a 9/11 style attack on Legoland.

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Sort of distracts from other news items that people wish weren't in the headlines. Perhaps look at recent political party purchases and see who has been buying drones...

I purchased a Huawei drone from Shenzhen recently but it was impounded enroute when it flew into Canada.

Pork pulled: Plug jerked out of beacon of bacon delight

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...just seems to ignore the demand for

VR - Virtual Rashers

PaaS - Porkbelly as-a-Service

BaaS - Bacon as-a-Service

SaaS - Sizzle as-a-Service

and outporking...

Oh and not forgetting Artificially Intelligent porky stuff https://internetofbusiness.com/alibaba-ai-platform-pig-farming/

... oh and IoT - Internet-of-Trotters

Who's watching you from an unmarked van while you shop in London? Cops with facial recog tech

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Learn your Alphabet

F**K anybody would think you were living in a Sidewalk Labs community!


...and in terms of privacy https://sidewalktoronto.ca/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/Sidewalk-Toronto-Privacy-Policy.pdf

Since page 2 says "We do not disclose your personal information to third parties unless

we have your consent or we are required by law"....

this would come under "required by law".

Just put the policy up in size 10 font on one of the Piccadilly displays... by entering this area you consent to...

Get your privacy facial recognition camo t-shirt now.

I have one - came with a free tinfoil hat. Based on this pattern...


Welcome to the neighborhood!

Forget your deepest, darkest secrets, smart speakers will soon listen for sniffles and farts too

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Needs some AI...

...to distinguish teenager farts from dog farts.

Then it can order a cork for teenagers, or a cork for the dog, accordingly.

Careful with this latest Microsoft release – tug too hard on the threads and it tends to unravel

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...just sends data on who wears it and how often back to MS.

Prone to turning blue unexpectedly, at which point you have to take it off and put it back on again.

Virgin Galactic test flight reaches space for the first time, lugging NASA cargo in place of tourists

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Of course it was 30 pounds to reserve a standard seat in advance

Fraudster convicted of online banking thefts using… whatever the hell this thing is

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Genuine Heath Robinson device if you ask me

Here's 2018 in a nutshell for you... Russian super robot turns out to be man in robot suit

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Privyet Santabot! Do you have vodka?

Would 60 gallons be sufficient?

Errmmm.... how many elves do you have in that suit?

Enough to give me some helping hands


Hole-y ship: ISS 'nauts take a wander to crack Soyuz driller whodunnit

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I'm sure it sucks

I miss the earth so much I miss my wife

It's lonely out in space

On such a timeless flight

(Sorry Elton)

Waymo presents ChauffeurNet, a neural net designed to copy human driving

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...because you really want your self-driving car to emulate a coarse, fat-headed, blunt clown for a driver - oh thought it said Chuffernet.

Lenovo tells Asia-Pacific staff: Work lappy with your unencrypted data on it has been nicked

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Bank account and payroll information would not come under general business information (stuff on your business card), and Singapore data protection fines are one of the the most brutal in Asia (up to $1M). So could be an expensive laptop.

(the $10K thing is for non-cooperation with the regulator)

Privacy, security fears about ID cards? UK.gov's digital bod has one simple solution: 'Get over it'

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Re: Here we go again...

If you apply facial recognition to crowds and match it to our ID database you will be able to view them with AR (Augmented Reality - bingo!)... linking to other databases we can have floating AR bubbles above people saying "troublemaker". On the upside if we splice in social media we can have big AR arrows above people saying "arsehole".

What could possibly go wrong? ;-)

US Homeland Security installs AI cameras at the White House, Google tries to make translation less sexist

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I'm wondering if this is Huawei technology? I'm sure the Chinese have well tested this sort of stuff. Perhaps the US is currently angling for a discount?

(also I wonder if the AI will be the most intelligent thing in the White House...)

'Say hello to my little vacuum cleaner!' US drug squad puts spycams in cleaner's kit

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...does anyone else see it evolving into R2D2?

May the suction force be with you

HCL picks up Notes, spanks total of $1.8bn at Honest John's IBM software sale

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Seasonal cheer

Stuffing the slightly smelly turkey among the christmas goodies - sorry! you have to take the lot - all or nothing. Phew! (removes big blue clothes-peg).

Huawei CFO poutine cuffs by Canadian cops after allegedly busting sanctions on Iran

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Tit for tat

...if I was the CFO of Cisco I wouldn't want to pass through Hong Kong anytime soon. They would be on a turbojet ferry to Shenzhen faster than an HK bookseller.

Tumblr resorts to AI in attempt to scrub itself clean from filth

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AI = outsourced to China creating new and fulfilling career opportunities


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