* Posts by Anonymous C0ward

616 posts • joined 24 Jan 2012

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What if tech moguls brewed real ale?

Anonymous C0ward

Scratch Monkey

A pint of this is like an electric shock to the brain.

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Either my name, my password or my soul is invalid – but which?

Anonymous C0ward

The other reason, is that anything other than randomly generated gibberish, even firstname+lastname+birthdate-of-first-hamster, is usually already taken.

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Anonymous C0ward

Probably some from the various animals I've been eating too.

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Wearable hybrids prove the bloated smartwatch is one of Silly Valley's biggest mistakes

Anonymous C0ward

Smartwatches, like any other technology, will take off

when the porn industry discovers them.

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Ticketmaster gatecrash: Gig revelers' personal, payment info glimpsed by support site malware

Anonymous C0ward

"Ticketmaster's own processes for credit card details etc may be secure"

Not secure enough. They shouldn't show the full details even to me or their staff.

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Relive your misspent, 8-bit youth on the BBC's reopened Micro archive

Anonymous C0ward
Paris Hilton

Re: 3 ring binders

There's one called Sign EXtend as well.

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Have YOU had your breakfast pint? Boffins confirm cheeky daily tipple is good for you

Anonymous C0ward

What's the difference between

"craft beer" and "real ale"? Seems like "real ale" is drunk by old guys with beards, and "craft beer" is drunk by young guys with beards.

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My PC is on fire! Can you back it up really, really fast?

Anonymous C0ward

Re: Go with the flow,

Once worked for an IT waste refurbishment (new stickers on old junk) company, no formal customer support although the owners were ex IT support people themselves. I had to take someone through booting from an XP install CD, getting to the recovery command prompt and doing chkdsk /f, over the phone, letter by letter. Disk corruption caused by not shutting down.

There were occasional good days, like when we got in a BBC Master that turned out to have the Domesday Project SCSI controller and second processor fitted. If they had the Laserdisc drive too I'd have taken it off their hands myself in short order.

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Blame everything on 'computer error' – no one will contradict you

Anonymous C0ward

Re: I hope you bought some Ely Gin while you were there

Interesting, considering the story of Jesus and the money changers in the Temple.

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Pentagon in uproar: 'China's lasers' make US pilots shake in Djibouti

Anonymous C0ward

Bomb it. This is an act of war.

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'Your computer has a virus' cold call con artists on the rise – Microsoft

Anonymous C0ward

I've never had one of these

Really wanna troll them with something old like IRIX or VMS though.

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My Tibetan digital detox lasted one morning, how about yours?

Anonymous C0ward

The worst thing is when people wave their phones about with the flash on, instead of lighters. It's just not right.

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Intel outside: Apple 'prepping' non-Chipzilla Macs by 2020 (stop us if you're having deja vu)

Anonymous C0ward

What was wrong with m68k anyway?

Far nicer architecture than Intel. 32-bit registers from the start and no weird segmentation.

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Anonymous C0ward

Re: Its getting sad now

Will it run RISC OS?

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Crowdfunding small print binned as Retro Computers Ltd loses court refund action

Anonymous C0ward

So how do the rest of us get our money back? Drown them in over 9000 individual court cases?

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Anonymous C0ward
Coat

Re: As it should be

You might say, it's a Quantum Leap in the retrocomputing market

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Forget cyber crims, it's time to start worrying about GPS jammers – UK.gov report

Anonymous C0ward
Pirate

"What is to stop someone from switching on a high power jammer in central London and taking out the financial services sector?"

Yeah, what exactly? Please?

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'The capacitors exploded, showering the lab in flaming confetti'

Anonymous C0ward

Horrendous fumes from pencil lead? Wouldn't that just be CO2?

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Anonymous C0ward
Mushroom

Re: And the idiot award goes to...

If it was set to amps, it would already blow up when you measure one side of the transformer.

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Remember those holy tech wars we used to have? Heh, good times

Anonymous C0ward

JOE ftw

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Heathrow Airport's local council prohibits drone flights from open spaces

Anonymous C0ward

Re: Hovercrafts

Are they full of eels?

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How's this for a stocking filler next year? El Reg catches up with Gemini

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Weed wish you a merry Christmas: Pot-toting OAPs tell cops 30kg stash is for pressies

Anonymous C0ward
Pint

I once read that the image of flying reindeer came from Sami tribes high on shrooms.

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Surveillance law slip-up in sight for staff stalking citizens on socials

Anonymous C0ward

"legal porn"

If I have porn on my work computer, it's not a police matter. But I could still get fired for it.

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Former ZX Spectrum reboot project man departs

Anonymous C0ward

A 2 GHz 6502?

I can play Repton on really high detail now!

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Helpdesk/Service Desk Recommendations

Anonymous C0ward

Unlike necrophilia, it would seem.

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Connected and self-driving cars are being sent to Coventry

Anonymous C0ward

Is the satnav

still going to send it into a river?

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MongoDB update plugs security hole and sets sights on the enterprise

Anonymous C0ward
Facepalm

A hole in MongoDB was exposed to the public Internet?

Admins, y u no use iptables?

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Facebook's send-us-your-nudes service is coming to UK, America

Anonymous C0ward
Devil

Having just read the article about SSL-stripping proxy boxes

This is very interesting.

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How we fooled Google's AI into thinking a 3D-printed turtle was a gun: MIT bods talk to El Reg

Anonymous C0ward

I'm not asking them to make me a burrito

That is all.

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Official Secrets Act alert went off after embassy hired local tech support

Anonymous C0ward

Re: One such trip involved “four of us sitting around a cage full of monkeys, feeding them fruit”

I'd have gone and got rat arsed, personally.

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Those IT gadget freebies you picked up this year? They make AWFUL Christmas presents

Anonymous C0ward

Poire? Yep, I've had that on a few skiing trips. It's lethal.

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Knock, knock? Oh, no one there? No problem, Amazon will let itself in via your IoT smart lock

Anonymous C0ward

I'd consider an electronic lock

But only if I built and coded it myself.

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Boss visited the night shift and found a car in the data centre

Anonymous C0ward

Re: Mini - not really

In Durham legend has it that some engineers once suspended the VC's car from Kingsgate bridge.

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Sole Equifax security worker at fault for failed patch, says former CEO

Anonymous C0ward

Re: One deterrent ...

From a different supplier. Because otherwise the emperor is just generously donating me his non-existent clothes.

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Anonymous C0ward

Re: Patch checking - initial basic scheme

It also assumes you have an up-to-date inventory.

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Anonymous C0ward

Re: I call bullshit...

And do you think the likes of Ryanair would continue to do so if regulators didn't insist on it?

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Dropbox thinks outside the … we can't go there, not when a box becomes a 'collection of surfaces'

Anonymous C0ward

Re: was that a dare?

The mountain of dribble out of the noses of the "creatives" after another mountain of Bolivian marching powder?

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Mad scientist zaps himself to determine the power of electric eel shocks

Anonymous C0ward

His hovercraft

It's full of them.

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Pacemaker patch passes probe by US watchdog

Anonymous C0ward

St Jude?

The patron saint of hopeless cases?

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Reality strikes Dixons Carphone's profits after laughing off Brexit threat

Anonymous C0ward

Re: My current favourite EU madness..

> you're not going to be gouged.

Unless you go to an "unusual" country. £1/MB anyone?

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Can North Korean nukes hit US mainland? Maybe. But EMP blast threat is 'highly credible'

Anonymous C0ward

Re: close only counts with hand grenades and thermonuclear devices

Our chief weapon is surprise.

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Google diversity memo: Web giant repudiates staffer's screed for 'incorrect assumptions about gender'

Anonymous C0ward

Re: The token conservative spoke out!

> identify as an eskimo

Inuit! (Eskimo is un-PC in Greenland and Canada, but more accepted in Alaska.)

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Programmer's < fumble jeopardizes thousands of medical reports

Anonymous C0ward

Re: Unnecessary extra scans?

And UTF-8 smart quotes.

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Sweden leaked every car owners' details last year, then tried to hush it up

Anonymous C0ward

And even the small organisation I work for

is now doing disk encryption and 2FA. Although I'm sure I mentioned it three years ago.

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Anonymous C0ward
Paris Hilton

Re: America... no, the world, stranger than fiction!

> Love Canal

There's definitely a dirty joke in there.

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Anonymous C0ward

> e-mailed the entire database

If am attachment that size doesn't crash your mail client, it ought to get blocked by both outbound and inbound SMTP servers on the way.

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UK.gov snaps on rubber gloves, prepares for mandatory porn checks

Anonymous C0ward

Henry VIII powers

I prefer to compare it to the Enabling Act of 1933.

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Anonymous C0ward

No morels

Portobello or Shitake on the other hand...

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Truck spills slimy load all over Oregon road – drivers slip in eel slick

Anonymous C0ward
Trollface

I've seen enough hentai

to know where this is going.

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