* Posts by Anonymous C0ward

569 posts • joined 24 Jan 2012

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UK.gov snaps on rubber gloves, prepares for mandatory porn checks

Anonymous C0ward

Henry VIII powers

I prefer to compare it to the Enabling Act of 1933.

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Anonymous C0ward

No morels

Portobello or Shitake on the other hand...

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Truck spills slimy load all over Oregon road – drivers slip in eel slick

Anonymous C0ward
Trollface

I've seen enough hentai

to know where this is going.

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All your bass are belong to us: Soundcloud fans raid site for music amid fears of total collapse

Anonymous C0ward

For great justice.

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No big deal. You can defeat Kaspersky's ATM antivirus with a really fat executable

Anonymous C0ward

Re: If it's too hard, why bother?

A common offence in our codebase is single CRUD calls inside loops. Hit it with enough linked records and we get locking errors. Which are then not always handled gracefully.

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Ubuntu Linux now on Windows Store (for Insiders)

Anonymous C0ward

Re: Fast Startup, corrupt NTFS.

Why would you use hybrid any more, even on a Mac? Both OSes natively support GPT. Boot Camp on the latest Mac OS doesn't go lower than Windows 10.

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Anonymous C0ward

Re: new fangled Windows Subsystem for Linux

Is there an actual Linux kernel running? If so it would be more like coLinux or UML than Wine.

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When can real-world laws invade augmented reality fantasies? A trial in Milwaukee will decide

Anonymous C0ward

Re: Do you remember ....

If that happened, there wouldn't be an urgent need for legislation, there would be an urgent need for taking less hallucinogens.

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Telegram chat app founder claims Feds offered backdoor bribe

Anonymous C0ward

Re: Secure Chats

Drop your panties, Sir William, I cannot wait till lunchtime.

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Disney mulls Mickey Mouse magic material to thwart pirates' 3D scans

Anonymous C0ward

...spot the non distorting counterfeits

In which case, you buy filament with the distorting chemical, or process your own from pellets.

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Currys PC World given a spanking for misleading laptop savings ads

Anonymous C0ward

Pfft

I bought a Mac...

(Not at PC World, I might add.)

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Labour says it will vote against DUP's proposed TV Licence reforms

Anonymous C0ward

Regressive tax

And the DUP hate being regressive, of course.

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What a tit! Uber CEO hijacks his staff breast-pump room to meditate

Anonymous C0ward

Re: Perfect

Yeah, but not a gigantic bell-end.

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Oil and lube firm offers to ease pains of frustrated office workers

Anonymous C0ward

Emo Oil

Best applied to the wrist with a razor blade while listening to MCR?

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Seminal game 'Colossal Cave Adventure' released onto GitLab

Anonymous C0ward

Re: Always wondered if these were inspired by the trips through big sofware menu systems.

You are in a maze of twisty passages, all alike.

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Bankrupt school ITT pleads 'don't let Microsoft wipe our cloud data!'

Anonymous C0ward
Coat

And Microsoft's response should be

along the lines of "Fuck you, pay me". Yes, it's Microsoft, but when the same thing happens with invoices owed to small companies or individuals it really hurts.

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Ireland to make revenge porn, cyberstalking criminal acts

Anonymous C0ward

Careful now.

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Flatpak and Snaps aren't destined for graveyard of failed Linux tech yet

Anonymous C0ward

Is Arch really not bleeding edge enough already?

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Facebook fake news: Sort it out yourself, readers

Anonymous C0ward
Trollface

/b/ - Random

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.

Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

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Loadsamoney: UK mulls fining Facebook, Twitter, Google for not washing away filth, terror vids

Anonymous C0ward

Facebook doesn't have to provide free speech

It's a private company. The First Amendment restricts the government.

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Waiter? There's a mouse in my motherboard and this server is greasy!

Anonymous C0ward

Re: Link back to the early comments

You mean somebody actually orders the filet-o-fish? For real?

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Need the toilet? Wanna watch a video ad about erectile dysfunction?

Anonymous C0ward

Re: Bog Design

Dyson Airblades are good. Imitations of them (like in our office) I have found to be wank.

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Apple fanbois are officially sheeple. Yes, you heard. Deal with it

Anonymous C0ward

I am a sheeple too now

Just bought an iPhone on eBay.

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Another ZX Spectrum modern reboot crowdfunder pops up

Anonymous C0ward

R Tape loading error, 0:1

That's how I'll know it's a real Spectrum.

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Game authors demand missing ZX Spectrum reboot royalties

Anonymous C0ward

It's probably got something to do with some of the directors leaving and deliberately trying to scupper what's left.

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All ready for that Easter holiday? Here's a mild MySQL security bug

Anonymous C0ward

Does anyone with a clue expose their MySQL port to the world?

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Switch on your smartphone camera and look how fertile I am

Anonymous C0ward

Re: I've often wondered.....

In your end-o.

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Printer blown to bits by compressed air

Anonymous C0ward

Re: Melted Printers

Shouldn't have stolen his stapler.

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DNA-bothering eggheads brew beer you were literally born to like

Anonymous C0ward
Pint

At that price

I'll stick to trial and error.

Hic!

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USA can afford golf for Trump. Can't afford .com for FBI infosec service

Anonymous C0ward
FAIL

But they use 2FA, right? Right?

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Boffins crowdsource hunt for 'Planet 9'

Anonymous C0ward
Childcatcher

Australian National University

... Sydney?

Or am I the only one immature enough to notice the possible acronym here.

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Git fscked by SHA-1 collision? Not so fast, says Linus Torvalds

Anonymous C0ward

Re: That's not how hashes work

All hashes, by definition, are vulnerable to collisions and infinitely many of them. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pigeonhole_principle

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Your future boss? An employee-interrogating bot – it's an open-source gift from Dropbox

Anonymous C0ward
Mushroom

I noticed you were trying to play "Chess"

Would you prefer "Global Thermonuclear War"?

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Nul points for Ukraine's Eurovision ticket site fail

Anonymous C0ward
Black Helicopters

If it hasn't already been hacked by the Russians

it soon will be.

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Talk of tech innovation is bullsh*t. Shut up and get the work done – says Linus Torvalds

Anonymous C0ward

Re: Never mind the code quality, feel the "innovation."

Spaghetti code?

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Trump decides Breitbart chair Bannon knows more about natsec than actual professionals

Anonymous C0ward

Well, we know who the new Goebbels is.

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Top UK judges rule: Government can't pull the Article 50 trigger alone

Anonymous C0ward

Wasn't me, I voted Remain.

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Anonymous C0ward

If both sides agree Article 50 is binding, isn't any final referendum just going to be either take whatever shafting Brussels gives us, or basic WTO rules? Maybe not even that if the WTO put up a fight?

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Irish townsfolk besieged by confused smut channel callers

Anonymous C0ward

I'm sorry, the pharmacist made a mistake.

No, you need to put it up there with your finger.

Deeper than that, I'm afraid, madam.

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Anonymous C0ward

And indeed

Girls!

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What links macOS, iOS, Safari, tvOS, watchOS? They all need patching

Anonymous C0ward

Off the wrist is one thing

What if it's on someone else's?

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Furby Rickroll demo: What fresh hell is this?

Anonymous C0ward

Just make it yell "CUNT" at random-ish intervals months apart.

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2014: El Reg booze lab proves Bluetooth breathalyzers are crap. 2017: US govt agrees

Anonymous C0ward
Pint

Needs to connect to a website

where you submit your high score!

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Sysadmin chatbots: We have the technology

Anonymous C0ward

So if I walk through the door and yell DROP DATABASE USERS what happens?

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BT installs phone 'spam filter', says it'll strain out mass cold-callers

Anonymous C0ward

Mine says...

Mistake

>_

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Anonymous C0ward

Re: BT need to sort out CLI

There's some places in Cornwall that have only 5 digits.

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Christmas Eve ERP migration derailed by silly spreadsheet sort

Anonymous C0ward
Pint

Re: Extract, Translate & Load on Xmas Eve.

Click for "amateur drinkers". Here's to having a pint or 12 this Christmas.

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Amateur radio fans drop the ham-mer on HRD's license key 'blacklist'

Anonymous C0ward
Pirate

Pirate it

Yarrr.

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Firefox to give all extensions their own process in January

Anonymous C0ward

Yay! Eat ALL the RAM!

(letters)

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Stupid law of the week: South Carolina wants anti-porno chips in PCs that cost $20 to disable

Anonymous C0ward

Re: If I was a PC seller

Such a significant issue that it requires painstaking research.

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