* Posts by Crisp

2557 posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

Siri, are you afraid of Facebook's new speech recognition tech?

Crisp

Re: Because Facebook must crush the world

With their, erm, social media platform. content free advertising platform.

FTFY

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Saudi Arabia hires 'ethical hackers' to silence smut slingers

Crisp
Coat

Will the West retaliate?

By hacking Saudi sites and putting porn on them?

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Sony Pictures hit by 'fightback on filesharers' DDoS claims – report

Crisp

How many illegal things does Sony have to do before they are taken to court?

I'm still surprised that they got away with the rootkit thing without a single jail term being handed out.

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No, I won't SNORKEL in your server room at STUPID-O'CLOCK

Crisp

Re: 2) Get caught when bad decision leads to millions in lost money

One hardly ever gets caught. By the time the basement floods, they've moved on to mismanage some other project.

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Bitcoin exec gets two years over illegal Silk Road funny money trading

Crisp

Charlie Shrem gets jailed for helping criminals launder money

And HSBC get away with it scott free.

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Space Commanders lock missiles on Elite's Frontier Devs

Crisp
Boffin

Trickier than docking with a space station without a docking computer?

If you can't dock your craft manually then you shouldn't be in space!

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UK air traffic bods deny they 'skimped' on IT investment after server mega-fail

Crisp

Now it's been officially denied...

You know it's true.

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TorrentLocker ransomware pestilence plagues Europe, bags $500k

Crisp

Re: you can't kill someone over standard tcp/ip...

Not easily...

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Pirate Bay towed to oldpiratebay.org

Crisp

Re: links to smut...

"Which we did not click on."

Sure...

So exactly how smutty was the stuff you didn't click on?

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Denmark BANNED from viewing UK furniture website in copyright spat

Crisp

Re: Paul McCartney?

I thought it was to protect Cliff Richard.

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US Navy's LASER CANNON WARSHIP: USS Ponce sent to Gulf

Crisp

Geneva Convention

So it's ok to throw hunks of lead at a human, or set them on fire, or blow them up with explosives; but vaporising them with a laser is out of the question?

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Car-crash IT: HUGE write-off for Universal Credit - PAC

Crisp

I was watching Yes Minister last night

Glad to see that it hasn't dated in the slightest.

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Govt spaffs £170k to develop the INTERNET OF SHEEP

Crisp

Re: Sheep puns?

Get the flock out of here.

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Mom and daughter SUE Comcast for 'smuggling' public Wi-Fi hotspot into their home

Crisp

Re: If one were so inclined

It would probably be quite trivial to not only set up a box with a familiar BT or Comcast SSID that not only provided poor service, but could also be used to slurp authentication (and other) data from the connected device.

I imagine setting up a WiFi trap like that would break a law or two somewhere. Although I once heard of a guy that got so annoyed with his neighbours sneaking onto his router that he invented the upside-down-ternet

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Sacre block! French publishers to sue Adblock maker – report

Crisp

Adblock is an essential application

Mostly due to dodgy flash adverts that can cripple a low-end machine.

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1

GOOGLE is COMING FOR YOUR CHILDREN

Crisp

Never work with children or animals.

Guaranteeing safety is going to be a difficult job. Even for Google.

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SCIENCE LAB TERROR: MYSTERY of the MISSING BRAINS

Crisp

Re: Brains?

Brains.... brains? Eurghhhh,,,,, Brains.

1
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Orion 'Mars' ship: Cosmic ray guard? Go. Parachutes? Go. Spacerock shield? Go!

Crisp

Re: Anyone produced it in Kerbal yet?

I was just thinking the exact same thing.

We're all going to be screwed when the KSP team implement re-entry properly. At the moment, you can return from the Mün and slam into Kerbal at 3 Kps with a 90 degree angle and still survive.

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Sinclair is back with the Spectrum Vega ... just as rubbish as the ZX

Crisp

Re: Pfffttt

You're going to need a J key to LOAD games as well.

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Sony Pictures struggles as staff details, salaries and films leaked

Crisp

Re: "Popped the company"

In this context, it means to hit or to strike.

It's a British thing. We use the word pop for a variety of stuff.

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Man asks internet for $1k for pebbles. INTERNET SAYS YES

Crisp
Coat

No Scotch on the Rocks joke?

Ok, I'm going...

4
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Wireless Power standards are like Highlanders: There can be only ONE

Crisp

How does Kamil Grajski expect to be taken seriously?

He's not even wearing a t-shirt.

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Feds dig up law from 1789 to demand Apple, Google decrypt smartphones, slabs

Crisp

Re: Next in the product lineup, remote self-destruct.

Doesn't have to be that complicated. It just has to let the magic blue smoke out.

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Social media data is riddled with 'human behaviour errors'

Crisp

For completely accurate social media studies, use 4Chan.

They seem pretty on the ball.

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E-cigarettes fingered as source of NASTY VIRUS

Crisp

Re: We need the hard evidence...

I agree. We've going to need more evidence if we're going to get to the butt of the problem.

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ESA finds FOURTH comet touchdown for Philae lander

Crisp

You wait ten years for a comet touchdown...

And then four come along at once.

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Randall Munroe: The root nerd talks to The Register

Crisp

Randall Munroe in El Reg?

We're not worthy...

We're not worthy...

We're not worthy...

3
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MI6 oversight report on Lee Rigby murder: US web giants offer 'safe haven for terrorism'

Crisp

Re: Ban Father Ted

Down with that sort of thing!

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Crisp

So basically, what the ISC are saying is...

That websites that could be used for messaging ought to be reading every single message that passes through it and then reporting on the correspondents to the authorities.

That's just absurd. Has the ISC any idea how complex it is for a computer system to glean the semantics of a message? It's hard enough for humans sometimes.

5
0

The next big thing in medical science: POO TRANSPLANTS

Crisp
Thumb Up

The Scrubs musical episode was right!

Everything does come down to poo!

1
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Two driverless cars stuffed with passengers are ABOUT TO CRASH - who should take the hit?

Crisp

Two cars travelling in opposite directions on a mountain road...

I'd imagine that the two cars would be aware of each other and their location. The software would know of all the places on the road where two cars could pass safely and then the software would manoeuvre the vehicles to the nearest passing place and resolve the deadlock there.

No one needs to get rammed off the road at all.

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Useless 'computer engineer' Barbie fired in three-way fsck row

Crisp

Blatant Misandry

Why is it the two lads doing all the work?

5
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Webcam hacker pervs in MASS HOME INVASION

Crisp

Re: "Steamed footage available through the site"

Website reports an error code of 418.

3
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What should America turn to for web advice? That's right: GOV.UK – says ex-Obama IT guru

Crisp

Re: Outer Space Act of 1986

I'm applying right now. I'll let you know how I get on.

3
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Giant bank IT cockup of 2012 'could have brought down ENTIRE financial system'

Crisp

The cause of the IT incident...

"The cause of the IT incident was the failure of the banks to have the proper controls in place to identify and manage exposure to the IT risks within their business" - The Regulator

I thought that the cause was the bank outsourcing their IT operations to people that had never seen a mainframe before.

21
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Boffins train robots to pull apart LCD screens – without breaking them

Crisp

First it's LCD displays...

Next we'll be seeing whole swarms of these things tearing apart ship hulks for scrap.

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Attack of the drones: ‘Nefarious’ private use rising, says top Blighty copper

Crisp

Re: How heavy ?!

Prostitution is just as illegal as being a peeping tom.

I don't know why. It just is.

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Anonymous ‪hacks the Ku Klux Klan after Ferguson‬ threats

Crisp
Facepalm

Poke the Hivemind

You might as well try kicking a Grizzly Bear in the nuts.

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Mystery Russian satellite: orbital weapon? Sat gobbler? What?

Crisp

Re: sattelite spying sattelite?

There's your Kickstarter pitch right there...

6
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Crisp
Black Helicopters

It's obviously a "Weather Satellite"

Like in Maximum Overdrive...

1
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Has your STARFISH been DRIBBLING awful SLIME? Scientists now know WHY

Crisp

"There are ten million viruses in a drop of sea water"

So more like searching for a needle in a needle stack then?

11
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Space Commanders rebel as Elite:Dangerous kills offline mode

Crisp

"The game is still on track for a December 16 release"

I think I'll wait for Space Citizen then...

2
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Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title

Crisp

Re: The bible is a book ?

Pedants would say that it's a collection of 66 books.

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Crisp

The Bible? Which one?

Must be The C Programming Language by Brian Kernighan and Dennis Ritchie

3
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The Pirate Bay co-founder exits jail, now, er, free to eat vegan food

Crisp
Pirate

Re: Piratebay still seems to be operating??

DNS censorship solved the problem of the pirate bay once and for all.

ONCE AND FOR ALL!

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HOT YOUNG STAR about to GIVE BIRTH, long range images show

Crisp
Go

Finally! A star that looks good giving birth!

I'd rather watch this than Josie Cunningham any day.

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Why Comrade Cameron went all Russell Brand on the UK’s mobile networks

Crisp

Vodaphone are still trashing my credit rating

Even though I finished my contract with them years ago. If they can't get simple addition right, then what chance to they have of providing a stable telephone signal?

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Doctor Who and the Dalek: 10-year-old tests BBC programming game

Crisp

I'm a little disappointed that it doesn't come with an actual Dalek robot.

It probably wouldn't take me too long to build one though...

0
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Will.i.am gets CUFFED as he announces his new wristjob, the PULS

Crisp

"I built something" he announced.

Did he?

I have a hard time believing that he actually built the thing.

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Researchers: Trolls have dark tetrad of personality defects

Crisp

Trolls like Trolling

Who knew?

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