* Posts by Crisp

2714 posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

UK.gov to press ahead with online smut checks (but expects £10m in legals in year 1)

Crisp
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Re: "It's unhygienic"

Only if you do it right...

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Huge ice blades on Jupiter’s Europa will make it a right pain in the ASCII to land on

Crisp
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Re: Penitentes

Icy what you did there.

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US may have by far the world's biggest military budget but it's not showing in security

Crisp
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That? That's a Cyberdyne Systems model T-101

It's harmless.

Just yell "User : Admin, Password : Password" at it and you can shut it down.

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Punkt: A minimalist Android for the paranoid

Crisp
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Re: Bravo...

Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I kinda almost didn't notice.

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Hate to burst your Hubble: Science stops as boffins scramble to diagnose gyro problem

Crisp
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Re: I learned about vacuum welding the other day

Cool :)

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Crisp
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I learned about vacuum welding the other day

Apparently bits of metal brought together in a vacuum don't know they are separate parts.

Vacuum Cementing

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SpaceX touches down in California as Voyager 2 spies interstellar space

Crisp
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Re: Don’t call us plucky

Another comment thread descending into violins...

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Organic stuff, radiation, unexpected methane... Yes, we're talking about Saturn's surprising rings

Crisp
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Re: Saturn’s D ring

It's Dirty.

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Oracle? On my server? I must have been hacked! *Penny drops* Oh sh-

Crisp
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Re: 1200 baud down, 75 baud up

Oh you had it good didn't you!

300 baud we were stuck with in the 80's. And they only gave us 0's. We had to make 1's by hammering a few 0's flat!

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China's going to make a mobile OS and everyone will love it, predict ball-gazing analysts

Crisp
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Only when it actually has its own replacements for Google Apps

I'm sure everyone will be having a good Jinwang about it anyway.

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Crisp
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Everyone will love it

Or else.

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CEO pleads guilty of conspiring with drug cartels to sell them stealthy Blackberrys

Crisp
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Selling weapons grade encryption to criminals

Their mistake there was encroaching on government business!

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NASA's Kepler telescope is sent back to sleep as scientists preserve fuel for the next data dump

Crisp
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Re: deep space overhaul of something which was never designed to be touched post-launch

Have you tried hitting it with a wrench?

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UK ruling party's conference app editable by world+dog, blabs members' digits

Crisp
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These are the same people that have all your Internet Connection Records

But I'm sure they're safe.

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Crisp
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A "limited number of delegates" were hit.

I suppose "all of them" counts as a limited number.

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Robot Operating System gets the Microsoft treatment

Crisp
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Need Input.

Directions to Stephanie's house mostly.

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Don't get THAT personal, says personalised cards firm Moonpig. Dick pics. They mean dick pics

Crisp
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Does this prohibition cover dildos?

I'm asking for a friend...

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Brexit campaigner AggregateIQ challenges UK's first GDPR notice

Crisp
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Democracy is being sold cheap these days.

Only a £20 million fine, and even then that's only a possible fine.

With no real deterrent in place, the people funding this will just see it as the cost of doing business.

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Good news: Sub-surface life on Mars possible, moons from big impacts. There is no bad news

Crisp
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I've got a red moon

And I want to paint it black

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UKIP doubled price of condoms for sale at party conference

Crisp
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Re: Not for me

That's a bit of a stretch.

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Guilty: The Romanian ransomware mastermind who infected Trump inauguration CCTV cams

Crisp
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The security of the 2017 Inauguration wasn't compromised because no one showed up.

I've seen bigger crowds watching a Z-list celebrity open a supermarket.

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Developer goes rogue, shoots four colleagues at ERP code maker

Crisp
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Re: for all the "too many guns already" idiots

You are Jim Jefferies and I claim my five pounds.

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Crisp
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I guessed America before I even clicked on the article

What do I win?

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Got any ecsta-sea? Boffins get octopuses high on MDMA – for science, duh

Crisp
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Re: Humans in Ibiza

MDMA doesn't reduce inhibitions or fear.

You're thinking of alcohol.

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Crisp
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How can you do that to a poor octopus

And not give it some glowsticks?

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Flying to Mars will be so rad, dude: Year-long trip may dump 60% lifetime dose of radiation on you

Crisp
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Meh, what's the worst that could happen?

See title.

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Oi, you. Equifax. Cough up half a million quid for fumbling 15 million Brits' personal info to hackers

Crisp
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£500,000 fine?

Surely that should be per victim.

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Do not adjust your set, er, browser: This is our new page-one design

Crisp
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Mushroom

They changed it and now it's different!

Grrr! Argh!

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World's oldest URL – fragments 73,000 years old – discovered in cave

Crisp
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Frist!

It obviously says "First Post!"

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Python joins movement to dump 'offensive' master, slave terms

Crisp
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Is it telling that the first thing that came to my mind when I heard Master/Slave was BDSM?

See title

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Guess who's still in charge of your gas safety, Brits? Capita

Crisp
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Incompetence and an explosive gas

This is fine.

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A boss pinching pennies may have cost his firm many, many pounds

Crisp
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Re: compiling (building) the application literally took 10 minutes

10 minutes! That's a blink of an eye!

I've worked on projects where it's taken a whole half hour to build and deploy a project to a dev environment. But it was ok! My tech savvy line manager told me to make as few mistakes as possible to reduce debugging time.

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Not so much changing their tune as enabling autotune: Facebook, Twitter bigwigs nod and smile to US senators

Crisp
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Re: Self-restraint or self-regulation is going nowhere

When has self-regulation ever worked?

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Brit teen pleads guilty to Minecraft-linked bomb and airline hoaxes

Crisp
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Boffin

He should have used seven proxies.

Script kiddies today aren't as good as they used to be.

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Cybercrooks home in on infosec's weakest link – you poor gullible people

Crisp
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Like a toilet?

I thought that was because all the crap usually comes our way...

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Roskosmos admits that Soyuz 'meteorite' hole had more earthly origins

Crisp
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All in all, it's just another hole in a wall

We don't need no ventilation...

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We've found another problem with IPv6: It's sparked a punch-up between top networks

Crisp
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Re: electrolytes!

It's what networks crave.

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No need to code your webpage yourself, says Microsoft – draw it and our AI will do the rest

Crisp
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Re: Frontpage disappeared a long time ago.

It lives on in the SharePoint designer.

Much like the old ones, it sleeps, waiting to be awoken by the folly of man.

And on that day, all will be marquee and blink tags. And fire and brimstone shall rain down from the sky.

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UK getting ready to go it alone on Galileo

Crisp
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Re: £92m on a feasibility study

I could give them the same answer for half that.

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Winner, Winner, prison dinner: Five years in the clink for NSA leaker

Crisp
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Re: This is serious business

She was upholding her oath. she swore to support and defend the Constitution and laws of the United States of America against all enemies, foreign and domestic.

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Microsoft Visual Studio C++ Runtime installers were built to fail

Crisp
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Re: Failure is not an option

It's not mine. I stole it from Larry Wall.

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Crisp
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Failure is not an option

It comes bundled with the software.

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Microsoft: We busted Russian Fancy Bear disinfo websites

Crisp
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Well that's locking the stable door after the horse has bolted.

Thank the gods that Microsoft stopped election meddling before another country installed a demagogue as President of the United States!

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That's the way the cookies crumble: Consent banners up 16% since GDPR

Crisp
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Re: Dilbert

Don't read Scott Adams blog. It will only drain away any hope for humanity you may have had left.

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Miss America 'scholarship program' adds Microsoft Azure developer to lineup

Crisp
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What other scholarship program requires "contestants" to wear a low cut evening gown?

They'll be telling us that the love island contestants are serious actors next.

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Techie's test lab lands him in hot water with top tech news site

Crisp
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Re: What's your vector victor?

You need clearance Clarence.

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Boffins build the smallest transistor, controlled by an atom

Crisp
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Quantum Gel

Both apply and do not apply to affected areas.

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Lo and behold, Earth's special chemical cocktail for life seems to be pretty common

Crisp
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Re: Give it a couple of million years

I doubt the humans in 10,000 years will look anything like the humans of today.

Probably about as similar to us as we are to early proto-humans.

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Crisp
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Give it a couple of million years

And there'll be a human output in every corner of the galaxy.

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I wish I could quit you, but cookies find a way: How to sidestep browser tracking protections

Crisp
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We need more than a cookie cutter approach.

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