* Posts by Crisp

2763 posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

Go big (with our bandwidth) or go home, Verizon: Texas mulls outlawing 911 throttling after Cali wildfire fiasco

Crisp Silver badge

This is why you can't leave emergency handling to private enterprise

Or you get this kind of uber effect where you get surge pricing every time there's an emergency.

Prez Trump orders Uncle Sam to step up AI efforts – we all know the White House knows a lot about artificial intelligence

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I can never understand anything the guy says

He needs an actor or something to do his voice for him.

Ad-tech industry: GDPR complaint is like holding road builders to account for traffic violations

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Advertisers and Salespeople

Have there ever been a more slimy bunch?

Raspberry Pi Foundation says its final farewells to 40nm with release of Compute Module 3+

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Re: Will it Plug-and-fry?

There will be magic blue smoke.

And then there will be cake.

NASA's Opportunity rover celebrates 15 years on Mars – by staying as dead as a doornail

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Re: Call it ... oh, I dunno, Rosie?

Why don't we call it Red?

Data hackers are like toilet ninjas. This is not a clean crime, you know

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"On average that your unique password is being shared by 35 other people. "

Possibly. But I'd imagine the mode of that data is something like "Password12345!" and shared by around a third of the accounts.

The lighter side of HMRC: We want your money, but we also want to make you laugh

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If we taxed the rich properly

Then we wouldn't need to tax the poor and then spend all that money in administration topping up their wages with universal credit.

If you're going to tax the poorest and then give it back to them, why not just not take it in the first place?

'It's like they took a rug and covered it up': Flight booking web app used by scores of airlines still vuln to attack – claim

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Re: and our technical teams took immediate action

They did take immediate action! They very quickly applied a sticking plaster to the gaping wound.

Taking immediate action is not the same as fixing the bloody problem.

People say tabloid hacks are always looking for an angle. This time, they'd be right: Tilting disk of proto-planets spotted

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Venus has a weird spin.

I would be surprised if there weren't planets with really weird orbits too.

Feeling a bit gassy? Toshiba floats 16TB helium whopper

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Re: How do they stop the helium from leaking out?

That's pretty interesting stuff.

Have an upvote!

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How do they stop the helium from leaking out?

From what I understand it's very hard to keep tiny gas atoms like helium in one place. Apparently one of the problems with transporting hydrogen is that those tiny little atoms try and migrate through things. Like the walls of the pipe.

Excuse me, sir. You can't store your things there. Those 7 gigabytes are reserved for Windows 10

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I think I can spare 7Gb out of the 8Tb I'm using for storage at the moment.

That's less than 1% of my primary disk space. I think I'll live.

London's Gatwick airport suspends all flights after 'multiple' reports of drones

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Re: EMP gun?

There are two problems with this :

1. We don't have any EMP guns.

2. We don't have any EMP guns.

Now I realise that technically speaking that's only one flaw but I thought that it was such a big one that it was worth mentioning twice.

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Why not kit out airports with anti-drone drones?

Just build a slightly bigger drone with a claw to grab errant drones and neutralise them.

Mark Zuckerberg did everything in his power to avoid Facebook becoming the next MySpace – but forgot one crucial detail…

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Re: Who cares about lying nowadays?

So because everyone may have told some sort of lie at some point in time, that makes all lying acceptable?

German cybersecurity chief: Anyone have any evidence of Huawei naughtiness?

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Re: Huawei - two syllables

I've been pronouncing it as "Steve".

Oh Deer! Poacher sentenced to 12 months of regular Bambi screenings in the cooler

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You can't buck the system

He's got plenty of time to stew now.

Astroboffins spy a rare exoplanet evaporating before their eyes

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Re: All the sheep in Wales would be blown away in less than two minutes.

A sheep in a vacuum will continue on its trajectory unless acted upon by an outside mint force.

It is with a heavy heart that we must inform you hackers are targeting 'nuclear, defense, energy, financial' biz

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Re: Now That We Know About It

The problem with hackers is that they look like us now...

Waymo presents ChauffeurNet, a neural net designed to copy human driving

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I expect the tricky part is teaching the computer to tweet with the mobile phone

For all the people lauding human intelligence in this thread there certainly seems to be a huge lack of it on the roads.

Lenovo tells Asia-Pacific staff: Work lappy with your unencrypted data on it has been nicked

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If Lenovo give away my bank details

Then surely they're liable for any financial loss I incur?

NASA names the date for the first commercial crew demo flight

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An AI on a space station? What could go wrong with that?

"Look at you, hacker. A pathetic creature of meat and bone. Panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect immortal machine?"

Official: Voyager 2 is now an interstellar spacecraft

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Go little robot!

A real inspiration to robots everywhere.

Q: If Pesky Pepper had a peek at patient papers, at how many patient papers did Pesky Pepper peek? A: 231

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Re : It would be serious if there was malice involved

The act is malicious in and of itself.

If an unauthorised person reads my private medical information, then they have harmed me regardless of whether they intended to or not.

Euro consumer groups: We think Android tracking is illegal

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Re: Pedantry Alert




noun: fuse; plural noun: fuses; noun: fuze; plural noun: fuzes


a length of material along which a small flame moves to explode a bomb or firework, meanwhile allowing time for those who light it to move to a safe distance.

"a bomb on a short fuse"

a device in a bomb that controls the timing of the explosion.

Busy week for ISS as Russia resumes flights and vies for parking spaces with NASA

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Kessler syndrome draws ever closer

Earth is going to start running out of parking orbits at this rate.

TalkTalk hackhack duoduo thrownthrown in the coolercooler: 'Talented' pair sentenced for ransacking ISP

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A dedicated hacker spends his days drinking too much coffee and cranking out code

Any script kiddie can exploit a SQL injection vulnerability. (seriously? It's the 21st century.)

Washington Post offers invalid cookie consent under EU rules – ICO

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At least things are getting easier in this digital age...

Remember the days where you had to walk all the way down to the newsagents to pick up the paper and have your tracking chip implanted? Now you can do it all online!

Bright spark dev irons out light interference

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Re: I'm pleased he eventually found the cause of the problem

I'm going to steel all these puns.

Google swallows up DeepMind Health and abolishes 'independent board'

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Even though I opted out

What are the odds that my entire medical history is sitting on one of Googles servers somewhere?

Oi, Elon: You Musk sort out your Autopilot! Tesla loyalists tell of code crashes, near-misses

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Re: I've seen one try to take out 2 bikers at once recently.

If I do get knocked off my motorcycle, I can guarantee you that it will be some twonk on his mobile phone.

Crisp Silver badge

Say what you like about Teslas

But I've never had one try and move into a lane I'm occupying.

Human drivers seem to be on a mission to try and knock me off my bike.

Windows XP? Pfff! Parts of the Royal Navy are running Win ME

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When the Cylons attack

It's going to hold up their invasion for days while they scour the internet for old drivers.

'DerpTroll' derps into plea deal, admits DDoS attacks on EA, Steam, Sony game servers

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Should have used 7 proxies

Seriously.... Who announces their crime in public and then posts evidence afterwards?

Who does he think he is? Lex Luthor?

Has science gone too far? Now boffins dream of shining gigantic laser pointer into space to get aliens' attention

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What we need are a pair of massive mirrors orbiting the sun.

Make one of them semi transparent and we've got ourselves a huge frickin laser.

It's a communications device and a first strike weapon all in one!

UK.gov to roll out voter ID trials in 2019 local elections

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In other countries

They just use a pot of bright purple dye.

You dip your finger in the dye to mark your ballot paper and then post it. Anyone with a bright purple finger can't vote again.

Tax me if you can: VMware UK tosses shrunken offering to HMRC

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Re: Poor emotion driven article

You benefit from education, healthcare, infrastructure, and the enforcement of rules and regulations designed for your comfort and protection. You also enjoy the protection of the police from crime and the protection of the armed forces. You benefit from the administration of licences and passports.

You benefit from the continued stability that all this provides. You wouldn't be able to enjoy making as much money as you do without a vast web of support.

Why shouldn't you pay for it? And if you happen to find yourself as one of the above average individuals that can contribute more because of the support you get, why shouldn't society claim back on its investment?

Shift-work: Keyboards heaped in a field push North Yorks council's fly-tipping buttons

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Re: Shifting old keyboards?

He probably wouldn't have the space.

The shady characters that dumped them have no self-Ctrl.

Pirate radio = drug dealing and municipal broadband is anti-competitive censorship

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If 1984 had a Ministry of Free Speech

That's what it would look like.

Britain's rail ticket-booking systems go TITSUP*

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Maybe they were trying to keep the story on track.

Watchdog sceptical UK.gov's Universal Credit can handle 8.5m benefits claimants

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No wonder crime is increasing

When people have no income, they will find some way to keep themselves fed.

One down, two to go. Russia inches closer to putting a crew on Soyuz while celebrating 50 years since the first Return To Flight

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Re: Zhuque 1

Apparently turn off and on-able solid rocket motors are a thing.


China tells Trump to use a Huawei phone to avoid eavesdroppers

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Pity the poor operatives that have to monitor the bedrooms at the Whitehouse and Mar a largo.

Should a robo-car run over a kid or a grandad? Healthy or ill person? Let's get millions of folks to decide for AI...

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Remember what happened with that learning chatbot?

Now imagine it can drive a car...

Have you ever, ever felt like this? Have strange things happened? Is high-speed data going round the twist?

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Is it someones job at El Reg just to work on punny headlines?

Because if so they are doing a fantastic job today!

SQLite creator crucified after code of conduct warns devs to love God, and not kill, commit adultery, steal, curse...

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Re: It seemed like the whole thing was going to unravel.

Not that old yarn again.

Silent running: Computer sounds are so '90s

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Mine's the jacket with the novelty sized nokia in the pocket.

It's Two Spacecraft, One Mission as BepiColombo gets ready to launch

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Re: Remember the mystery goo container

Stories like this always make me want to fire up my copy of KSP.

There's nothing worse than making it all the way to a hard to reach planet and then realising you forgot to add landing gear.

UK.gov to press ahead with online smut checks (but expects £10m in legals in year 1)

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Re: "It's unhygienic"

Only if you do it right...

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