* Posts by Brian Nevis

4 posts • joined 20 Jun 2007

UK.gov pledges licence fee 'rethink' over heavy catch-up use

Brian Nevis

licence number authentication

Earlier a poster suggested using licence numbers as login. To those that think licence numbers would be shared with those outside the home i.e. ending up on the internet; and thus the idea is invalid. We could consider adding a 'refund my remaining licence fee' button, followed by a form to input a new address and name.

Points mean passports: Citizenship Smith unveils 'like us' plan

Brian Nevis
Joke

Immigrant Idol

Why not have a system whereby the top point scorer at the end of the year earns their citizenship, the rest have to start over or get deported?

You could even have a TV show in the last 6 weeks of the year where "the public decides" between the top 20 candidates. I can see the commentary now - "The tension, the excitement as Tsu Jinn takes the lead at the last minute, earning 2000 points for donating his eyes to a blind white child citizen".

Bit unfair on Al-Fayed, he already has the highest possible negative score after saying the royal family are vampires, MI5 and MI6 are in league with the French and everyone is conspiring to cover up Diana's murder.

MIT student walks into airport wearing circuit board and wires

Brian Nevis

Suicide by Cop

My sympathy is with the Cops on this one. I don't expect a cop to be able to analyse a circuit (breadboard or otherwise) in a high pressure situation from 15 ft away. I do however expect a cop to kill a suspected suicide bomber before they take out innocent people. Airports are not the venue for counter culture whimsical behaviour. If the cop had shot her it would have been on their conscience for the rest of their life. Just because she wanted to be creative.

The following scenario happens all of the time:

<Security> "Sir do you mind telling me what is in your bag?"

<Whimsical Student> "A bomb" (laughter)

<Security> "Don't be silly I can clearly see that its just a breadboard with a few wires, a battery and a lump of playdoh! You crazy students really need to get some new jokes.. I will however need to confiscate your nail clippers".

Lag caught with phone charger up jacksie

Brian Nevis

Relax...

You would need a fist sized block of dope to relax enough to get a UK 3 pin plug out of your jacksie. ouch!

In other news: Prison authorities were alerted to a security breech when an inmate applied to patent the "slimline, cock-shaped universal mobile phone charger". The patent was rejected due to similarities to an existing patent held by the electronics giant ..........

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