* Posts by CAPS LOCK

829 posts • joined 20 Mar 2012

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Unbreakable smart lock devastated to discover screwdrivers exist

CAPS LOCK
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"My keychain has 2 sizes each ..."

Here in the enlightened paradise of the UK that's called 'Going equipped'...

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Cavium has two more tilts at Arm servers as Nvidia offers Arm-bots

CAPS LOCK
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Meanwhile at Intel...

... Suit no. 1 "How much is it going to cost us to kill off this one then?"

Suit no. 2 "Well, the lost revenue from charging less for Xeons will be billions of dollars, but of course, once the ARM servers disappear without trace we'll be able to put the prices back up"

Suit no.1 "That's ok then. Trebles all round"

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Schadenfreude for UK mobile networks over the tumult at Carphone

CAPS LOCK
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Once the Competition Commission have allowed all the networks to be combined...

... the situation will be worse than the US. Enjoy it while it lasts.

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Microsoft commits: We're buying GitHub for $7.5 beeeeeeellion

CAPS LOCK
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"They had Xenix once."

I'm STILL narked about the demise of MS FoxPro for Unix/Xenix. I've recently transitioned to Harbour Compiler, but I still miss FoxPro. Bastards.

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UK judge appears in dock over Computer Misuse Act allegations

CAPS LOCK
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"Judges are not above the law."

Good Lord, when did this start?

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Is your smart device a bit thick? It's about to get a lot worse

CAPS LOCK
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Re: Louis Le Prince

Yes, a massive lost opportunity. Imagine a windy treeless hillside with a giant sign, the single word 'LEEDS'...

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Oz sports’ pee-samplers outed buying Cellebrite phone-crack kit

CAPS LOCK
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The Land of Oz...

... where the laws of Man supercede the laws of Maths.

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FBI's flawed phone tally blamed on programming error. 7,800 unbreakable mobes? Er, um...

CAPS LOCK
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Re: Is it significant ...

It's called 'expert shopping'. A minister, when they don't like what they hear from an expert in the area, will trawl for another expert with an opinion they like. There's always one to be found. Often academics.

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IPv6 growth is slowing and no one knows why. Let's see if El Reg can address what's going on

CAPS LOCK
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The solution to slow IPv6 adoption is obvious...

...move all the porn site off IPv4. Problem solved!

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Void Linux gave itself to the void, Korora needs a long siesta – life is hard for small distros

CAPS LOCK
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" it is a shame that even the simple things still seem difficult to achieve with Linux."

Example please...

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New and inventive code is transforming your business – and bringing with it new and inventive ways for things to fail

CAPS LOCK
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Where I work there's a 'Health & Safety' notice:

"1. Do everything you must do, and do it perfectly.

2. Under no circumstances do anything you should not do."

That's just as sound advice as in the article.

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There is no perceived IT generation gap: Young people really are thick

CAPS LOCK
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Nadsat eh? That makes me want to pop out to the Korova...

... for a synthmesk.

<Exit, whistling The Glorious Ninth >

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BBC extends Capita Audience Services contract to 25 years

CAPS LOCK
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I'm just guessing here, but perhaps BBC execs will soon be moving to the board of Crapita...

... time will tell...

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Having ended America's broadband woes, the FCC now looks to space

CAPS LOCK
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American laws supersede* the laws of physics...

... as every fule kno.

* I might once have said 'Trump', but not now obv.

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2001 set the standard for the next 50 years of hard (and some soft) sci-fi

CAPS LOCK
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"I've only got one thing to say to that.... shut it!"

Get yer trarsers on yer nicked...

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El Reg deep dive: Everything you need to know about UK.gov's pr0n block

CAPS LOCK
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Well, I for one look forward to reading the list of porn users who are in the....

... cabinet...

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Fermi famously asked: 'Where is everybody?' Probably dead, says renewed Drake equation

CAPS LOCK
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"Ansible comms" - pff...

... Interociter shirly....

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Maplin shutdown sale prices still HIGHER than rivals

CAPS LOCK
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High prices? Well PWC have to make their fees...

... no doubt the creditors will be in for a difficult time. PWC not so much...

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Stephen Hawking dies, aged 76

CAPS LOCK
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Let's hope this prompts the BBC to repeat the biopic. If it doesn't...

... Youtube is your friend: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PNd1rldj0k

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CAPS LOCK
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"There's so much I don't know about astrophysics"

https://youtu.be/fkLL1RCEnLs?t=3m36s

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IBM thinks Notes and Domino can rise again

CAPS LOCK
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Re: It is not enough.

It's worse even than that. Not only will IBM/HCL need to offer the whole stack BUT it will have to interact seamlessly with the MS offerings, because of the legacy factor. With MS being able to alter the underpinnings of everything they do at will, nobody will be able to offer seamless integration.

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Developer mistakenly deleted data - so thoroughly nobody could pin it on him!

CAPS LOCK
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Never edit the fstab table on a production system...

...don't ask me how I know...

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Unidentified hax0rs told not to blab shipping biz Clarksons' stolen data

CAPS LOCK
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IANAL so I don't know if this is as breathtakingly stupid as it sounds...

... but m'learned friends will have had a pay day so that's all right...

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Hansa down, this is cool: How Dutch cops snatched the wheel of dark web charabanc

CAPS LOCK
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Re: Agent Provocateur

I like their pants. Lacy!

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FBI chief asks tech industry to build crypto-busting not-a-backdoor

CAPS LOCK
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Re: He's right, but no one here will accept it

I see what you did thar buddah, neatly conflating "takin' down pedos"' with key escrow and whatnot. Lessons from the recent past indicate that's, mostly, not what the access will be used for. In fact one of the uses WILL BE your next door neighbour, who works for The Poh-Lice or tha' Eff Bee Eye and who has taken a dislike to you, because your dog barked at him or your son did sexeh to his teenage daughter, will use access, justified by a tip-off from an anonymous informant, to root though your data, looking for evidence of thought crime. Don't worry though, if you've got nothing to hide you've got nothing to fear...

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RIP... almost: Brit high street gadget shack Maplin Electronics

CAPS LOCK
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"I tried to buy coffee off Amazon" - Even if they did deliver today I'm sure it would be...

... cold.

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4G found on Moon

CAPS LOCK
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Why do they need a 'deep space network'? Its only the moon, you could...

... drive a Morris Minor there in five months. If there was a road.

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Intellisense was off and developer learned you can't code in Canadian

CAPS LOCK
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Re: Boro

Noah Webster, of dictionary fame.

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The e-waste warrior, 28,000 copied Windows restore discs, and a fight to stay out of jail

CAPS LOCK
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I'm not sure about the legal situation in the USA of America, but I do know that...

... his lawyers let him down badly.

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Chrome adblockalypse will 'accelerate Google-Facebook duopoly'

CAPS LOCK
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Hmm, at the risk of topic drift, try disabling add blockers for El Reg...

... no wonder Gartner's press releases get editorial space....

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Ubuntu wants to slurp PCs' vital statistics – even location – with new desktop installs

CAPS LOCK
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"but as long as things stay pretty transparent I don't think this is an automatic black mark"...

... This is no place for talking sense. Away with you.

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Arrrgh! Put down the crisps! 'Ultra-processed' foods linked to cancer!

CAPS LOCK
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This is a perfect example of the press stating that correlation means causation...

... here's an amusing set of correlations which can't have a causation: http://www.tylervigen.com/spurious-correlations

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Bloke sues Microsoft: Give me $600m – or my copy of Windows 7 back

CAPS LOCK
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"If I install Mint on a separate partition is there a tool that will image the NTFS partition etc?"

I just looked, it's in 'Disks' under 'Settings' from what would be the 'Start' menu in Windows. Click the gear-wheel menu icon and select 'Create partition image'....

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It took us less than 30 seconds to find banned 'deepfake' AI smut on the internet

CAPS LOCK
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All this outrage is missing the significance of this...

...Now there's a porn use for AI the progress of the technology will accelerate substantially. The Ai we see in films will be factual in weeks...

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Monday: Intel defector touts Arm server chip. Wednesday: Intel shows off new server chips

CAPS LOCK
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Another day - another ARM server chip startup. Meanwhile at Intel...

... economists are working out how much to cut the price of Xeons to so you go out of business. See El Reg passim for details...

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Peers approve Brit film board as pr0n overlords despite concerns

CAPS LOCK
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It doesn't need a genius to see that the future holds a...

.... 'white list'. With a fee to get on or be retained natch.

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On the NHS tech team? Weep at ugly WannaCry post-mortem, smile as Health dept outlines plan

CAPS LOCK
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Effective management is just one component

Management doesn't include strategy etc now?

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CAPS LOCK
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"To properly fix this problem needs central governance"

A. please don't use the word governance, it means management, use management, unless you want to sound like a an NHS manager.

B. Central management leads to more meetings and more reports, not more action. it actually wastes resources needlessly. If the resources wasted on 'managers' having meetings and driving around in their company cars was redirected to where it's needed the problem would be eliminated.

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CAPS LOCK
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Suits having meetings and producing reports is not going to help...

.... (except to keep them looking busy obv.) the solution is not more management, it's less.

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Morrisons launches bizarre Yorkshire Pudding pizza thing

CAPS LOCK
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A nice Chianti and some Fava beans, natch...

...although i can't imagine a real Doctor Lecter using the adjective nice.

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Johnny Hacker hauls out NSA-crafted Server Message Block exploits, revamps 'em

CAPS LOCK
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Hmmm, I was, just now, thinking of changing my business network to NFS...

... more food-for-thought.

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To hack Australia and learn its secrets, buy second-hand furniture

CAPS LOCK
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Lost filing cabinet keys?...

... here you go: https://www.fastkeys.co.uk/keys

No drilling required!

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Google yanks cash firehose from Lunar X Moonshot comp. The actual Moon shot one

CAPS LOCK
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Increase the prize year-on-year...

...and fund it with the media rights. Problem solved.

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Apple: The exclusive sales channel for an, er, AI toothbrush

CAPS LOCK
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I have an earlier incarnation of this. The Colgate/Omron joint development...

It's more difficult to use and does a worse job than my OralB 600 Pro, which cost UNDER TWENTY EARTH POUNDS! The Colgate/Omron brush was 138UKP. I think that explains the Apple tie-up?

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Why did I buy a gadget I know I'll never use?

CAPS LOCK
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"how else do you connect a Stratocaster to a PC?"

My 'sound card' has a microphone input. I know it works with a cheap microphone - I use it for Skype. Wouldn't that do the job? Justaskin'

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Someone is touting a mobile, PC spyware platform called Dark Caracal to governments

CAPS LOCK
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Big Cats

BBC1 8:00pm.

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Butt plugs, mock cocks, late pay and paranoia: The world of Waymo star Anthony Levandowski… by his kids' nanny

CAPS LOCK
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Seems like they deserved each other...

...I'm hoping both sides lose.

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Brit transport pundit Christian Wolmar on why the driverless car is on a 'road to nowhere'

CAPS LOCK
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It appears from the article that Mr. Wolmar is a railway enthusiast...

...so, in the words of Ms. Rice-Davis, he would say that wouldn't he.

My observation is that, even with massive subsidies from the tax payer, the train service isn't what you might wish.

Time will tell of course, but my money, if I had any, would be on the autonomous cars. Imagine this, you go to work in your car. When you get there you go into work, then your car goes to work as an autonomous taxi, returning later to take you home. After dropping you at home the car works the taxi night shift. I don't think The Holborn Effect will stand in the way of that.

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WikiLeave? Assange tipped for Ecuadorian eviction

CAPS LOCK
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There IS a more-or-less plausible solution...

Mr. Assange renounces Australian citizenship and becomes an Ecuadorian citizen. He is then hired as an Ecuadorian diplomat. He then leaves under diplomatic protection (remember the Iranian Embassy fiasco). Problem solved! I should do this professionally!

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Brit film board proposed as overlord of online pr0nz age checks

CAPS LOCK
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This is being set up to fail...

... the end run is a government run white list because the 'blocking didn't work'. Once the need for a white list is is established a charge will be made to be accepted or retained on the list. Like other similar schemes the charge will be insignifiant at first. Later it will be turned into a source of revenue for the Exchequer.

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