* Posts by CAPS LOCK

851 posts • joined 20 Mar 2012

Page:

30 years ago, NASA put Challenger behind it and sent a Space Shuttle back out into the black

CAPS LOCK

Space exploration?

No one ever said is was going to be easy...

11
0

Oi, you. Equifax. Cough up half a million quid for fumbling 15 million Brits' personal info to hackers

CAPS LOCK

I'm a bit surprised that Uncle Sam hasn't given Eqifax a thrashing...

...after all Senators and Congressmen have been caught up in it.

1
0

US Treasury goes after IT shops for funneling cash to North Korea

CAPS LOCK

He should change his name to...

... Jim Phelps.

0
0

The Reg takes the US government's insider threat training course

CAPS LOCK

Off topic...

... what the buggerybollox is the new UI? Shock of the new? I should coco...

7
0

Python joins movement to dump 'offensive' master, slave terms

CAPS LOCK

My suggestion...

... Worker and parasite: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2_dhUv_CrI

2
0

Activists rattle tin to take UK's pr0n block to court

CAPS LOCK

The gubmint know, because their advisers have told them, that this will fail as intended...

... and when it does they will announce a white list that you'll be allowed to access. Admission to the white list will require a charge, of course. This will be trivial at first. In due course it will be increased to create an income stream for the Treasury. That's what this is all about.

22
0

Neutron star crash in a galaxy far, far... far away spews 'faster than light' radio signal jets at Earth

CAPS LOCK

Einstein you say. I think you mean...

...James Clerk Maxwell: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Clerk_Maxwell

5
0

Data apocalypse is coming unless you buy AI, declares AI biz

CAPS LOCK

Re: Taking the name of Moog in vane

Right now I'm going to knock off early so I can go home and play my Moog theremin. This is actually true, even though it's on the internet!

0
0

If you weren't rich enough to buy a Surface before, you may as well let that dream die

CAPS LOCK

My heart is borken, I can't get a Surface on tick...

... boo hoo, what will I do?

24
5

Spies still super upset they can't get at your encrypted comms data

CAPS LOCK

Hahahahaha, speaking as a pedrofile and terrist, I politely decline GCHQ approved software...

... Wait a minute, what is that you say, 'They'll make a law compelling me to use it'. Curses, foiled....

4
0

Hello 'WOS': Windows on Arm now has a price

CAPS LOCK

How much?

I thought the ARM things would be cheaper than the *ahem* industry standard things.

24
0

Give yourselves a pat on the back, top million websites, half of you now use HTTPS

CAPS LOCK

Point me to site encryption instructions for the ...

... lazy and hopeless.

4
0

ETSI crypto-based access control standards land

CAPS LOCK

When the title said ETSI I thought it might be a standard for...

... hand made lingerie. I am disappoint.

1
0

Gartner's Great Vanishing: Some of 2017's emerging techs just disappeared

CAPS LOCK

Gartner continue to prove themselves...

... derision proof.

8
0

Google Spectre whizz kicked out of Caesars, blocked from DEF CON over hack 'attack' tweet

CAPS LOCK

It's to be hoped that the conference organizers vote with their dollars...

... shirley there must other conference venues that offer just as much fun[1]. I hear Harrogate is nice at this time of year.

[1] Hookers and drugs, or so I've heard.

35
0

Either my name, my password or my soul is invalid – but which?

CAPS LOCK

Re: Gmail addresses with dots

Fear not. Gmail doesn't 'see' the dots so you can use 'firstnamelastname@gmail.com' instead.

0
0
CAPS LOCK

I would have thought that, by now, everyones password would be

correcthorsebatterystaple. Mine certainly is.

9
1

Crooks swipe plutonium, cesium from US govt nuke wranglers' car. And yes, it's still missing

CAPS LOCK

"It registers slight radioactivty in my kitchen due to the granite countertop"...

... or the Bentonite in your cats litter tray, or the Braziil nuts in the bowl of nuts, or the Bananas ripening on the side, or the fact that you live down wind of a coal fired power station (Radon dontchakno') etc etc....

11
0

Python creator Guido van Rossum sys.exit()s as language overlord

CAPS LOCK

I hope he goes on to start a robotics company...

... general purpose ones...

2
1

Google Chrome update to label HTTP-only sites insecure within WEEKS

CAPS LOCK

Re: If only it were that easy

The AC is correct, it's a massive mistake by Google/Alphabet. Sites not using SSL/TLS shouldn't be 'shamed' like bad cats.

52
5

RIP Peter Firmin: Clangers creator dies aged 89

CAPS LOCK

Anyone who hasn't seen Noggin The Nog recently needs a trip to...

... Youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubomF32rh0w

9
0

Git365. Git for Teams. Quatermass and the Git Pit. GitHub simply won't do now Microsoft has it

CAPS LOCK

BillGits

Sorry, I'll get my coat...

11
0

Unbreakable smart lock devastated to discover screwdrivers exist

CAPS LOCK

"My keychain has 2 sizes each ..."

Here in the enlightened paradise of the UK that's called 'Going equipped'...

10
0

Cavium has two more tilts at Arm servers as Nvidia offers Arm-bots

CAPS LOCK

Meanwhile at Intel...

... Suit no. 1 "How much is it going to cost us to kill off this one then?"

Suit no. 2 "Well, the lost revenue from charging less for Xeons will be billions of dollars, but of course, once the ARM servers disappear without trace we'll be able to put the prices back up"

Suit no.1 "That's ok then. Trebles all round"

4
1

Schadenfreude for UK mobile networks over the tumult at Carphone

CAPS LOCK

Once the Competition Commission have allowed all the networks to be combined...

... the situation will be worse than the US. Enjoy it while it lasts.

8
12

Microsoft commits: We're buying GitHub for $7.5 beeeeeeellion

CAPS LOCK

"They had Xenix once."

I'm STILL narked about the demise of MS FoxPro for Unix/Xenix. I've recently transitioned to Harbour Compiler, but I still miss FoxPro. Bastards.

4
0

UK judge appears in dock over Computer Misuse Act allegations

CAPS LOCK

"Judges are not above the law."

Good Lord, when did this start?

9
1

Is your smart device a bit thick? It's about to get a lot worse

CAPS LOCK

Re: Louis Le Prince

Yes, a massive lost opportunity. Imagine a windy treeless hillside with a giant sign, the single word 'LEEDS'...

4
0

Oz sports’ pee-samplers outed buying Cellebrite phone-crack kit

CAPS LOCK

The Land of Oz...

... where the laws of Man supercede the laws of Maths.

2
0

FBI's flawed phone tally blamed on programming error. 7,800 unbreakable mobes? Er, um...

CAPS LOCK

Re: Is it significant ...

It's called 'expert shopping'. A minister, when they don't like what they hear from an expert in the area, will trawl for another expert with an opinion they like. There's always one to be found. Often academics.

20
0

IPv6 growth is slowing and no one knows why. Let's see if El Reg can address what's going on

CAPS LOCK

The solution to slow IPv6 adoption is obvious...

...move all the porn site off IPv4. Problem solved!

7
0

Void Linux gave itself to the void, Korora needs a long siesta – life is hard for small distros

CAPS LOCK

" it is a shame that even the simple things still seem difficult to achieve with Linux."

Example please...

7
0

New and inventive code is transforming your business – and bringing with it new and inventive ways for things to fail

CAPS LOCK

Where I work there's a 'Health & Safety' notice:

"1. Do everything you must do, and do it perfectly.

2. Under no circumstances do anything you should not do."

That's just as sound advice as in the article.

2
0

There is no perceived IT generation gap: Young people really are thick

CAPS LOCK

Nadsat eh? That makes me want to pop out to the Korova...

... for a synthmesk.

<Exit, whistling The Glorious Ninth >

7
0

BBC extends Capita Audience Services contract to 25 years

CAPS LOCK

I'm just guessing here, but perhaps BBC execs will soon be moving to the board of Crapita...

... time will tell...

8
0

Having ended America's broadband woes, the FCC now looks to space

CAPS LOCK

American laws supersede* the laws of physics...

... as every fule kno.

* I might once have said 'Trump', but not now obv.

12
0

2001 set the standard for the next 50 years of hard (and some soft) sci-fi

CAPS LOCK

"I've only got one thing to say to that.... shut it!"

Get yer trarsers on yer nicked...

4
0

El Reg deep dive: Everything you need to know about UK.gov's pr0n block

CAPS LOCK

Well, I for one look forward to reading the list of porn users who are in the....

... cabinet...

50
0

Fermi famously asked: 'Where is everybody?' Probably dead, says renewed Drake equation

CAPS LOCK

"Ansible comms" - pff...

... Interociter shirly....

3
0

Maplin shutdown sale prices still HIGHER than rivals

CAPS LOCK

High prices? Well PWC have to make their fees...

... no doubt the creditors will be in for a difficult time. PWC not so much...

20
0

Stephen Hawking dies, aged 76

CAPS LOCK

Let's hope this prompts the BBC to repeat the biopic. If it doesn't...

... Youtube is your friend: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PNd1rldj0k

2
0
CAPS LOCK

"There's so much I don't know about astrophysics"

https://youtu.be/fkLL1RCEnLs?t=3m36s

3
0

IBM thinks Notes and Domino can rise again

CAPS LOCK

Re: It is not enough.

It's worse even than that. Not only will IBM/HCL need to offer the whole stack BUT it will have to interact seamlessly with the MS offerings, because of the legacy factor. With MS being able to alter the underpinnings of everything they do at will, nobody will be able to offer seamless integration.

6
0

Developer mistakenly deleted data - so thoroughly nobody could pin it on him!

CAPS LOCK

Never edit the fstab table on a production system...

...don't ask me how I know...

55
0

Unidentified hax0rs told not to blab shipping biz Clarksons' stolen data

CAPS LOCK

IANAL so I don't know if this is as breathtakingly stupid as it sounds...

... but m'learned friends will have had a pay day so that's all right...

4
1

Hansa down, this is cool: How Dutch cops snatched the wheel of dark web charabanc

CAPS LOCK

Re: Agent Provocateur

I like their pants. Lacy!

4
0

FBI chief asks tech industry to build crypto-busting not-a-backdoor

CAPS LOCK

Re: He's right, but no one here will accept it

I see what you did thar buddah, neatly conflating "takin' down pedos"' with key escrow and whatnot. Lessons from the recent past indicate that's, mostly, not what the access will be used for. In fact one of the uses WILL BE your next door neighbour, who works for The Poh-Lice or tha' Eff Bee Eye and who has taken a dislike to you, because your dog barked at him or your son did sexeh to his teenage daughter, will use access, justified by a tip-off from an anonymous informant, to root though your data, looking for evidence of thought crime. Don't worry though, if you've got nothing to hide you've got nothing to fear...

13
0

RIP... almost: Brit high street gadget shack Maplin Electronics

CAPS LOCK

"I tried to buy coffee off Amazon" - Even if they did deliver today I'm sure it would be...

... cold.

26
1

4G found on Moon

CAPS LOCK

Why do they need a 'deep space network'? Its only the moon, you could...

... drive a Morris Minor there in five months. If there was a road.

5
0

Intellisense was off and developer learned you can't code in Canadian

CAPS LOCK

Re: Boro

Noah Webster, of dictionary fame.

4
0

Page:

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2018