* Posts by handleoclast

83 posts • joined 6 Jan 2012

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Don't listen to the doomsayers – DRM is headed for the historical dustbin, says Doctorow

handleoclast
Thumb Down

What could possibly go wrong?

Doctorow wants no DRM on tractors. Or cars.

I can sympathise, to a degree. Pay big bucks for something, you don't want to be tied to a monopoly when it needs fixing. If you are then that monopoly can push prices to insane levels because there is no competition.

But then I think it through. When a mechanical part breaks or needs repairs or servicing, you can go to a qualified mechanic, or you can go to a back-street mechanic, or you can do it yourself. But most of us do not have the machine tools to manufacture new parts or do anything but trivial repair/replacement. Software is different. Open it up and any fucktard can mess with it.

Somebody tinkers with the mechanical bits in his engine to give his car more oomph and the engine blows up: that's sad for him and a good laugh for us. Somebody tinkers with the software to remove the speed limiter that is there only so the manufacturer can charge for an "upgrade" (yes, this really happens, at least in commercial vehicles, and it's on a par with Windows 10 home edition having everything that the business edition does but registry keys disable the business edition stuff) and it also buggers up the steering and the brakes under certain conditions: that's fucking dangerous.

So while I hate the idea of businesses using DRM to create a monopoly, I really hate the idea of the average fucktard being able to hook up his smartphone to his car, run a dodgy app, and play with stuff beyond his comprehension. That's because I know one fucktard who wanted to bypass the speed limiter on the commercial vehicle he drives. His boss would be happy for him to do it because the boss wants faster vehicles but without paying for the upgrade. This fucktard has, in the past, had mismatched wheels on his car. Not mismatched tyres, mismatched wheels. The odd one out wasn't very secure either. He got done for it. Drove to court to pay his fine in that same vehicle with mismatched wheels. He often has at least one bald tyre. I really, really, really don't want anybody like him having the ability to tinker with his car's software.

Tractors are another matter as they spend most of their time off-road. Somebody damages his printer without DRM by using a dodgy cartridge, that's hilarious. Cars are dangerous.

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'I feel violated': Engineer who pointed out traffic signals flaw fined for 'unlicensed engineering'

handleoclast

He'd have been OK if he was a train driver

'Tis true. What we describe as "train drivers" the Merkins call "engineers." So if he'd been a train driver he could call himself an engineer quite legitimately.

Probably wouldn't pass Oregan's rules, but could still call himself an engineer.

5
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Need the toilet? Wanna watch a video ad about erectile dysfunction?

handleoclast
Trollface

Unibogs

There are places with unisex bogs. No urinals, just a bog-standard toilet. Some of those places with unibogs require male staff to put the seat down after use. Even if there are several men and only one woman (who comes in part time on random days) so that far more people are inconvenienced and discommoded by the requirement than are commoded by it. I'm not making that up, because I've worked in such a place.

It's always the women who complain if the seat is not in the right position for them. Men (in general) are capable of noticing the position of the seat, figuring out what they want to do and then adjusting the seat accordingly (and without complaint). Women apparently are not, going by the number of times I've read of women complaining that not only was the seat left up but that they did not notice and ended up sitting on cold porcelain. How brain-dead do you have to be not to notice? I could make a sexist joke here, but I'll refrain. I'll wait until the next paragraph to make a different and better one.

Anyway, women always complain about men and the toilet seat. There's no pleasing them. They complain when you leave the toilet seat up. They complain when you put the toilet seat down and piss all over it.

11
1

Just delete the internet – pr0n-blocking legislation receives Royal Assent

handleoclast
Big Brother

Re: 'non-conventional'

'I do wonder what constitutes "non-conventional".'

Sodomy, for starters. Which is insertion of the penis into any orifice other than a vagina. Yes, sodomy does legally include BJs.

However, titty-fucks do not consist of penetration of an orifice, so do not constitute sodomy. That's why they're classed as gomorrahy (which is similar to sodomy but in a different place). Definitely non-conventional. Even if you're married to Dolly Parton.

Since MPs created the law, their behaviour must define what is classed as conventional. So having sex with your own wife is also non-conventional.

And, by anybody's standards, watching grumble flicks of Donald J Trump being pissed on by Russian hookers is non-conventional squared. Getting turned on by watching it is non-conventional cubed.

Apropos of nothing at all, I had to laugh a year or two back when Tesco sold a yellow climbing rose called "Golden Showers." You can get them from the Royal Horticultural Society (amongst many other places) for only £14.99. I have no idea why I just thought of that.

4
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Just how screwed is IT at the Home Office?

handleoclast

There's only one way to fix this

Bring in Ian Duncan Smith. I'm serious.

He's delusional (looking for work should be a full-time job). He constantly fucked the IT side of Universal Credit with his micromanagement. - see many previous Reg articles for details. It's no coincidence that the IT side of UC showed signs of becoming deliverable after the IDS was deleted from the system.

So bring in IDS. He'll fuck the whole Home Office IT so comprehensively that it can never be resurrected. So it will be abandoned and they'll stop chucking money at it.

Bringing in just about anybody else (who is acceptable to those in power) will achieve the same end. It's just that IDS can do it quicker because he's so good at it.

12
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Software woes keep NASA's new crewed missions grounded

handleoclast
Pint

Re: Rocket Science & Engineering

Damn, I was going to write that. It's bad enough to find something I was planning to write anywhere in the comments, but you got there first.

Have a pint on me.

5
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That YouTube ad boycott had square-root of sod-all effect on Google's insane cash machine

handleoclast

Other factors increasing profits...

One thing they didn't mention has an upon profitability.

Youtube screwed content creators. Bigly (as an orange fucktard would say). Demonetized many existing videos from some creators. Which led to many creators I watch quickly putting up videos begging people to support them on patreon or the amount of content they could produce would go down. They weren't using it as an excuse to get extra money. Several of them had given up jobs to produce content full time, living on youtube advertising revenue. They were fucked.

One guy (you probably know who I mean whether you love him or hate him buys scientific kit in order to make educational (ish) videos. He's long been with patreon and is buying serious kit like extra high speed cameras to film stuff in extra slow-mo, but decreased youtube revenue still affected him. Why would his videos be demonetized? Well, he also criticises creationists and SJWs, so there are a lot of complaints.

I have yet to see any of them saying youtube has remonetized any of their videos. So youtube wins bigly. People are still creating content (if they can get enough support via patreon) and youtube aren't paying them as much for doing it.

Of course, most of the content I watch can be labelled contentious. It promotes atheism or promotes science (or both), either of which alone tends to upset the US Talebangelicals. I expect the oh-so-tedious "look at me teaching you how to apply make-up", "look at my inane life" and "look at my 'pranks' that are hilarious if you're on serious amounts of recreational pharmaceuticals but fucking twuntish if not" content producers haven't suffered to the same extent, so maybe youtube's savings by demonetizing videos aren't that great.

At least Google aren't as bad as Microsoft. Yet.

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TalkTalk HackHack DuoDuo PleadPlead GuiltyGuiltyGuiltyGuilty

handleoclast

Re: The problem is not in removing the copy. It's with making the copy.

Correct.

That is an offence under the Computer Misuse Act of 1990 (as revised). Actually, several offences.

Section 1: Unauthorized access to computer material. Check.

Section 2: Unauthorised access with intent to commit or facilitate commission of further offences. Check.

Section 3a: Making, supplying or obtaining articles for use in offence under section 1, 3 or 3ZA. Possibly, if they wrote (or found) a script or other automation tool in order to gain access. Difficult to justify, even then, since they had only one target. But. you never know.

Section 1 gets you up to six months and/or a hefty fine. Section 2 gets you up to five years and/or a hefty fine. Section 3a gets you up to ten years and/or an unlimited fine.

So definitely not theft/stealing. No intent to permanently deprive, nor did they permanently deprive TalkTalk of anything. Breaching customers' privacy may be coverable by some privacy legislation somewhere, I dunno. Gaining credit card details with intent to defraud is definitely chargeable under fraud legislation and possibly the selling on of card details gains them a bonus conspiracy charge. Absolutely CMA offences. But not stealing.

IANAL.

3
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UK drops in World Press Freedom Index following surveillance and anti-espionage threats

handleoclast
Big Brother

Three rules of legislation

1. If legislation can be abused then sooner or later it will be abused.

Doesn't matter if it's tax law where people spot loopholes and avoid paying tax or snooping legislation (for use against terrorists only) which ends up being deployed against people who put recyclable waste in the wrong wheelie bin. Sooner or later somebody who can gain advantage by exploiting the loophole will spot that said loophole exists.

2. The abuse will most likely occur sooner rather than later.

Pretty obvious, really.

3. The "abuse" was probably intended all along.

"Oh. It appears some of my rich friends spotted a loophole in some legislation I helped draft and now they're making shitloads of money from it. Obviously, that was never my intent." Yeah, right.

9
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Webroot antivirus goes bananas, starts trashing Windows system files

handleoclast
Trollface

Re: AFAIK that makes it the only anti malware tool actually doing its job

Ummm, look again at what you quoted from the article:

Webroot's security tools went berserk today, mislabeling key Microsoft Windows system files as malicious and temporarily removing them

See that word "temporarily"? It might have been doing a better job than other AV s/w but then it screwed up by not removing the files permanently.

3
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Man nicked trying to 'save' beer from burning building

handleoclast

Then King's guitar left him

So Kenny Rogers wrote a song about it.

6
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Forensic accountants appointed to pore over Post Office IT scandal

handleoclast

Re: despite the PO knowing full well that the system is a POS.

Obviously, when the PHBs read the report calling the system a POS they thought it meant "Post Office System" and that there was nothing to worry about.

5
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Apache Foundation hails Metron as new top level project for cybersecurity

handleoclast

New Apache Project

"The core ideals of openness, community, and transparency are prerequisites for solving cybersecurity challenges. Metron was a great fit in Apache because the ASF shares those core ideals. It really does take a village to solve the really hard problems,"

Apache demonstrated their new project, Apache BuzzWord. Artificial Inanity neural nets can now mimic a real-life Pointy-Haired Twat so convincingly that you might almost think an incredibly stupid marketroid had written it.

0
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Stanford Uni's intro to CompSci course adopts JavaScript, bins Java

handleoclast
Stop

Re: Is there any correlation between "popularity" and

"the actual implementation language used should have no bearing on the overall objectives."

So, teach it in befunge, or brainfuck, or intercal, or malbolge, right? They're all Turing-complete.

Hint: one of the overall objectives is that a large percentage of students complete the course knowing how to program.

6
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Base specs leak for Windows 10 Cloud – Microsoft's wannabe ChromeOS assassin

handleoclast
Flame

Re: Two words really

"So, for Microsoft's part, their marketing department will get millions of school-aged sales leads"

They've learned from the tobacco companies. Get them started young and they're hooked on your product for life.

3
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Would you believe it? The Museum of Failure contains quite a few pieces of technology

handleoclast
Devil

Re: Top Failure is MS Windows 10.

Nah, that's number 3 on the list of s/w failures.

Top failure is Windows 8 (and Linux desktop flavours that attempt to mimic it).

Tied for number 2 spot are Vista and Win 10.

Tied for number 3 spot is any other Microsoft product ever.

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handleoclast

Re: AKA the one heap filing system.

AKA "piling system."

5
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Peer pressure, not money, lures youngsters into cybercrime – report

handleoclast
Coat

Peer pressure?

As far as young offenders are concerned, it's peer pressure of a sort. Being horny adolescents they're desperate to get laid. If they're weak and nerdy they're not going to impress the girls with their non-existent fighting skills. So instead they try to impress by cybercrime. Look at me! I'm an 3771 h4x0R!!!1!

The cheapest, quickest and easiest way of deterring such people from cybercrime is to pay for them to have a session with a prostitute. After they've been laid once, the desperate need goes away and they're more amenable to thinking with their big brain rather than their little one.

For the true criminals, of course, money is the reward. They're much harder to discourage.

2
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Trump's self-imposed cybersecurity deadline is up: What we got?

handleoclast

Re: Did you check for...

You want alternative facts? I'll give you alternative facts...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORLomtdXlDQ

A catchy tune (the music kicks in at 18s) ripping the piss out of Trump and co. using their own words (mostly). Uses a DSP app to turn speech into singing, so it's a good idea to turn on closed captions (especially if your hearing is a bit iffy or you have problems with Merkin accents).

Contains a couple of NSFW words. But the extra-NSFW one isn't really audible so you have only the captions to worry about if you're at work.

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What a To-Do! Microsoft snuffs out Wunderlist

handleoclast

ToDo

1) Take money from customers.

2) Fuck the customers.

3) Repeat from step 1.

3
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Data trashed? When RPO 0 isn't enough

handleoclast

Re: data replication doesn't give you RPO zero in some of the more common scenarios

Actually, I'd say that the problem in some common scenarios is that data replication does give you RPO 0. The problem is that you needed RPO -1 because you want to get back to the data you used to have before some idiot accidentally deleted an important file.

Well, as you and I both said, the problem isn't RPO 0 per se it's not having backups as well. RPO 0 serves an important purpose, but it's no substitute for having backups.

Yes, there are business scenarios where only RPO 0 will do and backups aren't enough. And many more scenarios where RPO 0 is no good (malware, etc.) and only backups can help you. And a few fantastic scenarios where having both still won't help.

On the whole, though, and for many common business models, and given the likelihood of various possibilities (nuclear strike and fat finger, for instance) I'd put a good backup system in place first and RPO 0 (if needed) second. Optimize for the common case...

4
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handleoclast

RPO 0 is good, but...

Sure, RPO 0 is a good idea. I did something approaching that several years ago using DRBD on Linux to provide a HA Samba share. Same building, but storage at opposite ends of the building with a dedicated link between them. The objective was as much RTO 0 as RPO 0. Some people losing an hour's work is bad, but everyone being unable to do anything else for several hours would be worse. With DRBD failover took place within 10 to 20 seconds. All data saved to the Samba share immediately prior to the hardware failure would be available.

But that was no protection against somebody accidentally deleting an important file. Or making an edit that removed a big chunk of a file. Or slow ransomware encrypting old files so you don't notice a problem until it's screwed most of your data. Etc. Which is why backups are essential, even with RPO 0.

I used rsync for nightly backups. It gives what is effectively a full backup with a data transfer only slightly larger than an incremental backup, so can be (and was, in this case) used to backup to a remote site as well as a local machine. With suitable options, rsync also saves a copy of any file that has been changed or deleted. So for the price of daily incremental backups I had a full backup offsite that was no more than 24-hours old, plus several months of changes. Not quite as good as could be achieved with the hypothetical AI-controlled backups, but good enough.

I don't know if rsync is available in the latest Windows bits-of-linux-addon but it's long been available in the Cygwin package and works quite well on Windows. Especially if you figure out all the shadow volume stuff so you can back up the files that Windows keeps open all the time, such as Exchange data.

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Silicon Valley tech CEO admits beating software engineer wife, offered just 13 days in the clink

handleoclast
Joke

Reiser FS

I hear Hans Reiser is looking for an assistant. This guy would be a perfect fit.

5
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Chap 'fixes' Microsoft's Windows 7 and 8 update block on new CPUs

handleoclast
Holmes

Prediction

If this patch becomes popular, Microsoft will take note and start releasing updates that fuck things up if you run them on old CPU architectures. They told those architectures were not supported but you chose to hack your OS to run them so it's all your fault.

Yeah, it's a shame that due to the time it took you to resolve the problem by purshasing new computers and restoring data from backup (you do have backups, don't you?) that your business went bust. But it's your own fault. Thank you for using Microsoft.

3
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Why Firefox? Because not everybody is a web designer, silly

handleoclast
Flame

Re: Designers..

The designers who should have been excluded are the ones that like to disguise links so they look indistinguishable from ordinary text. They should be killed slowly and painfully.

Almost as bad are the sites where links are distinguishable from ordinary text but visited links look just the same as unvisited links. This is unforgiveable, especially on news aggregator sites. Even the BBC news site does it in places - in individual articles visited links look like unvisited links so you end up clicking on links you've already seen. Severe clue-batting should be applied.

As for the ones that insist on a design that works only on their browser only at the screen resolution they're using and looks shitty or is unuseable on anything else... Use a cheese grater to remove their skin, douse them with vinegar, then sprinkle them with salt. Then really hurt them.

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handleoclast

Re: Web con - often, not always

Too few clients realize that the website should be optimized for their clients, not for themselves.

Too many web designers choose to pander to their clients' requests rather than explain to the client that unless their customers like the site, it doesn't matter how fantastic they themselves think it.

Remember the vogue for Shockwave (as it was then) Flash for navigation? I always called it Flush because any website that used it for navigation had gone down the shitter.

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Oracle gets to Wercker, dines on container biz

handleoclast
Holmes

Time to start looking for alternatives to Wercker

Going by Oracle's past behaviour with software acquisitions, Wercker's stuff is going to get completely fucked.

MySQL: fucked. Use MariaDB instead.

Open Office: fucked. Use Libre Office instead.

Solaris: fucked. Use Linux instead.

Java: well on its way to being fucked, although I never thought that much of it anyway. Use anything but Java instead.

1
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Oh snap! UK Prime Minister Theresa May calls June election

handleoclast
IT Angle

Typical party political move

Realize your party has fucked up very badly so run away to leave the other party to clean up the shit. With any luck they'll have so much difficulty cleaning up the shit that your party will get back into power, at which point you can blame the other party for creating the shit in the first place.

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Regulate This! Time to subject algorithms to our laws

handleoclast
Angel

The fix is obvious

All we need to do is implement an AI system to check the algorithms used by other AI systems.

What could possibly go wrong?

4
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Apple nabs permit to experiment with self-driving iCars in Cali

handleoclast
Trollface

Somebody trademark "iCar"

2
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Microsoft raises pistol, pulls the trigger on Windows 7, 8 updates for new Intel, AMD chips

handleoclast

Re: A paid Red Hat Edition

My analogy DID specify a hypothetical "what IF somebody found a way of distributing free copies of Linux?" An extreme case. So implausible as to be almost impossible. Yet it was based on what Microsoft has done in the past to stuff it sees as impeding its profits. Microsoft has done a lot worse than that, such as stealing the code to Stacker, and releasing it as DoubleSpace (which had a tendency to corrupt your disk drive) just because it didn't like a third party making money by selling stuff that corrected Microsoft deficiencies.

You're right, Open Source licences mean Red Hat MUST make the sources available. Doesn't mean RH has to make things easy. When RHEL 5 came out, the tool chain available with RHEL 4 could not be used to build RHEL 5 from source. Bit of a bootstrapping problem there. The CentOS guys incrementally added patches to the RHEL 4 tool chain until they got something that could build the RHEL 5 tool chain. It wasn't easy. Buying RHEL 5 to get the tool chain would have been a lot easier (but required spending money and might have led to worries about breaching a Chinese wall).

To get back to my original point, Red Hat didn't have to hire the CentOS guys. Outside of Open Source it would be a crazy thing to do. Even inside Open Source not many would have considered it (at least, not without RH's example). But they did, and as a consequence you, or I, or anybody can have RHEL-in-all-but-name for free.

As you say, the lines between CentOS and Red Hat are a little blurred. Technically CentOS is downstream of Red Hat, but probably not as far downstream as anybody else. As far as bug reports go, the CentOS team is effectively acting as a first-level filter, so anything they pass upstream is probably worth quicker attention.

In actual fact, CentOS is valuable to Red Hat for other reasons. It ports to h/w architectures RH don't support. It releases upgraded/additional s/w that can be used by people with "real" RHEL. So for some things Red Hat is downstream of CentOS.

Just to reiterate my main point, if you like RHEL (as opposed to Ubuntu or whatever) but can't afford it for home use, there's CentOS which is RHEL in all but name. Well, you don't get a support contract, but if you want RHEL for home use because you're familiar with it from work, that's not a problem.

3
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handleoclast
Linux

Re: A paid Red Hat Edition

You can have a FREE Red Hat Enterprise Linux.

It's called CentOS. http://www.centos.org

It's RHEL in all but name and various bits of branding (logos and stuff like that).

Scared Red Hat will go after CentOS and shut it down? That's how Microsoft would handle a similar situation, if somebody found a legal way of distributing free Windows.. Microsoft would start with threats of legal action. If that didn't work, parallel attacks:

1) Actual legal action, starting off with a restraining order stopping the distribution (if they could get it). Even if Microsoft had no chance of winning the case on legal merits, they'd take legal action simply because with deep enough pockets you can force the other guy to throw in a winning hand.

2) Bribing/blackmailing governments to get the law changed to remove the loophole that was being exploited.

3) Attempt to hire the guys behind it with a contract that stopped them redistributing Windows for free. If Microsoft can get away with suitable wording in the contract that bars them from ever redistributing free Windows if they no longer work for Microsoft, fire them shortly after hiring them.

How did Red Hat deal with CentOS? They hired the guys behind it. Hired them to continue doing it. CentOS (free RHEL in all but name) is supported financially by Red Hat. Red Hat are paying people to give away RHEL-in-all-but-name.

Crazy? Nope. Apart from getting mega kudos out of it, RH benefit in another way. CentOS gets RHEL onto home desktops. Initially desktops of techies who have some old hardware and like playing with stuff just for the hell of it. From there it spreads to the friends and relatives of those techies. And from all those it can gain workplace acceptance: techies tell bosses there's an alternative to Microsoft; non-techies inform bosses they know how to use those alternatives. Bosses then pay for RHEL because they like the warm, comfortable feeling that comes from support and Red Hat are the people best able to support RHEL.

Red Hat is not a software company that also offers support, it's a support company that also offers software it knows how to support. CentOS is a loss leader, a marketing strategy. A strategy Red Hat stumbled over rather than planned, but they've embraced it anyway. Get ordinary people using CentOS and eventually companies will pay for RHEL.

Got an old machine that's gathering dust? Give CentOS a try. Or Ubuntu. Or Debian. Or whichever Linux distro takes your fancy. On really old h/w you might need CentOS 6 (still supported and being updated). With CentOS 7 you'll probably want to install Mate or Cinnamon because CentOS 7 comes with Gnome 3, which bears too many similarities to Windows 8 for comfort.

If I'd written something like this four or five years ago, there would have been many nasty replies and near-infinite down-thumbs. These days it will get a better reception (I hope). And the reason opinions have changed is Microsoft themselves. Vista, Win 8, spyware OS, shitty licensing, forcing updates on people who don't want them, tricking people into updating by perverting the way dialogue boxes behave, etc. Microsoft's bad behaviour has become so egregious and so blatant that even former enthusiasts have turned against them.

22
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Worry not, Python devs – you can program a quantum computer

handleoclast
WTF?

Schrodinger's bank account

You are both £250 in credit and £103 overdrawn simultaneously. You don't know which until you use a cash machine.

Ooops! Your bank account was quantum entangled with that of a Nigerian prince. He just collapsed your account's waveform by making a withdrawal from his account.

Quantum computing for bank acounts. SRSLY?

Oh, I just figured it out. The ramifications of hedge funds and dodgy mortgages are so incredibly difficult to figure out that only quantum computers can consider all the possibilities before the heat death of the universe. Only problem is, figuring out what's going to happen triggers a collapse of the entire economy.

Or maybe it's to figure out all of Trump's tax avoidance/evasion schemes.

Or maybe it's to figure out in what parallel universe this becomes a remotely sensible idea.

4
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As you stare at the dead British Airways website, remember the hundreds of tech staff it laid off

handleoclast
Coat

You are obviously running a puppy farm

With a staff of 30 you must be selling a hell of a lot of dogs, so you're obviously running a puppy farm.

A lot of people get upset by puppy farms. I've never understood why. Surely it's better for Korean restaurants to buy their meat from a farm than to steal people's pets off the street.

Mine's the one that somebody has inexplicably put dog shit in the pocket of.

1
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Blighty's £1.2bn space industry could lend itself to tourism – report

handleoclast

Spaceport in the UK

Is Branson stupid enough to want a spaceport in the UK?

I know there is an active proposal for a spaceport at Prestwick airport, but does anyone take it seriously?

There's a damned good reason the US has its spaceport in Florida. It's the same reason Arianespace launch facilities are in French Guiana. It's the same reason Russia has its spaceport in Kazakhstan, despite not liking Muslims. They're all near the equator.

There's a big savings in rocket fuel if you launch from the equator. Or, to put it another way, there's a big cost in rocket fuel if you launch far from the equator. Or, to put it another way, you limit the size of payload you can carry on a given design of rocket if you launch far from the equator.

I don't think Branson is stupid enough to try for one. I doubt the people behind the Prestwick proposal are stupid enough to think it's feasible to operate a UK spaceport, but they could be hoping the UK gov't is stupid enough to give them lots of money to build something that will never be used.

1
1

Hasta la Windows Vista, baby! It's now officially dead – good riddance

handleoclast
Mushroom

Windows versions as sandwiches

It was Vista that caused me to think of Windows in terms of sandwiches. Specifically, the pre-packed ones from supermarkets. The ones where you're not entirely sure how appetising they are until you open them.

For a baseline, XP was a BLT. Not haute cuisine, but tasty and filling. Those capable of working out how to customize it could discard the lettuce (an evil foodstuff) and enhance with brown sauce and/or ketchup. Not filet mignon with all the trimmings (even if it was priced the same), but by Microsoft standards (95, 95, ME) it was good.

Vista was a dog egg sandwich, heavily marketed by the supermarket. Since dogs don't lay eggs, you figured it was a novelty name. Sorta like toad in the hole, which isn't made with toads (or holes). Sorta like spotted dick, which isn't made with diseased sexual organs. Sorta like hot dogs, which aren't made with dogs (except in Korea). Like everybody else, you wanted to try the new, overly-hyped flavour. You got it home, eagerly opened it, then realized that dogs DO lay eggs: they squat, lay the egg, then the owner has to bag it and bin it or risk being fined. Puts you off sandwiches for a long time afterwards.

Win 7 is BLT + mayo. Harder to discard the lettuce without things getting messy, and horrible if you don't like mayo, and tastes a bit weird when you add brown sauce, but otherwise tolerable.

Win 8 is a double-decker dog egg sandwich made with mouldy bread. So vile it made you wish for Vista's dog egg with non-mouldy bread.

Win 10 is BLT with a smear of dog egg (because they had a lot left over from the Win 8 fiasco). Oh, and they'll soon be wanting you to pay a support fee for each minute it stays in your digestive system, because sandwich-as-a-service.

[Icon chosen for the hover text]

5
1

TP-Link 3G/Wi-Fi modem spills credentials to an evil text message

handleoclast
FAIL

How hard is it?

How hard is it to have a #ifdef (or moral equivalent) wrapping ALL development code/fiddles/backdoors and ALSO wrapping all device identification strings? So that if you've #defined DEV then the device identifies itself as "Development" (rather than TP-Link or Cisco or whatever) on all web pages, CLI prompts, etc.

It's not rocket surgery.

0
0

Apple’s premium TV plans – the hobby doomed to stay that way

handleoclast
WTF?

The second coming?

According to the article, "In 2007, Steve Jobs described Apple TV as a “hobby” when the company first unveiled the fledgling product, but ten years on, little seems to have changed in his absence."

Absence???? He's coming back? When?

I know he did it once, but the circumstances were slightly different. The first time he was effectively forced out. This time he's dead. I doubt that, however much Apple wish for his return, he's going to come back. And if he did, he'd probably want braaaaaiiiins.

3
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Subpostmasters prepare to fight Post Office over wrongful theft and false accounting accusations

handleoclast

Re: About bleedin' time

Terry 6: "The sheer number of cases is enough to demonstrate that the problem is in the system. Either that or the Post Office has been recruiting postmasters from outside (or inside) the gates of Pentonville."

If they've been recruiting ex-cons then the problem is STILL in the system. The Personnel Dept rather than IT, but still a system problem.

5
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Eric S. Raymond says you probably fit one of eight tech archetypes

handleoclast

The date is wrong

The post on ESR's site says it was published on the 3rd of April.

FFS, Eric, if you're going to post an April Fools' joke, get the date right.

5
0

OLE-y hell. Bug in MSFT Word allows total PC p0wnage

handleoclast
FAIL

Re: Security is Job One at Microsoft

There must be something wrong with my eyesight. I keep reading "Security is Job One at Microsoft" as "You had just one job."

9
1

Twitter sues US govt to protect 'Department of Immigration employee' who doesn't like Trump

handleoclast

Re: Streisand effect

On a clear day, I can sue forever.

5
1

Germany gives social networks 24 hours to delete criminal content

handleoclast
Big Brother

Re: Deutschland über alles. I think we have heard that before!

"Deutschland über alles" doesn't mean what a lot of people take it to mean. It's not "Germany rules everybody" but more like "Think of Germany before anything else". Or, more idiomatically, and with a shift of country: "America first."

Just sayin...

4
1

Customer satisfaction is our highest priority… OK, maybe second-highest… or third...

handleoclast
Facepalm

Re: "coffee please"

I always ask for coffee-flavoured coffee.

It confuses them.

28
1

Boeing-backed US upstart reckons it'll be building electric airliners

handleoclast
Coat

Big Problem

The really big problem here is that the governments will require the airlines to put the batteries in the cargo hold in a discharged state.

15
0

WWW daddy Sir Tim Berners-Lee stands up for end-to-end crypto

handleoclast

Re: because that would require morals

You're right, only a few MPs would vote against their whip.

That leaves Labour and Lib Dems and a few others. Which would only need a few Tories to go against their whips.

But if enough Tories see it and realize it's true, they might have words with Amber behind the scenes. Point out to her what a truly stupid idea she has. Point out all the people who can be told of this video on youtube and realize what a stupid idea it is. Many of them her own constituents.

Still only a small chance of dissuading Rudd. But that's a lot better than doing nothing.

0
0
handleoclast
Coat

So why isn't Amber Rudd demanding a ban on cars?

She's only banning encrypted cars.

Your mileage may vary.

8
0
handleoclast
Megaphone

Email this to your MP

Your MP may not have a good grasp of the technical issues. So (after watching it yourself to be sure what it is) email your MP this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPBH1eW28mo

It's a simple, non-confrontational explanation of why weak crypto/backdoors is a really bad idea from a technical perspective. Most commentards here already understand these things, but their MP may not (especially if your MP is Amber Rudd).

Don't think to yourself that it will never happen. Unless your MP understands why this is such a stupid idea, it WILL happen.

16
0

Manchester pulls £750 public crucifixion offer

handleoclast
IT Angle

The church is upset...

...that other people want to make money out of the crucifiction (spelling is deliberate - it was a fiction). Even worse, they want to make money out of it to give to the poor and needy.

Let's be clear here. The church is selling afterlife insurance. And it gives a money-back guarantee. If you die and there's no afterlife then all you have to do is ask for your money back and they'll return it.

Incidentally, for those who want to make Sunday special: stone your priest to death. He gets paid to deliver those church services, so he's working on a Sunday. You know it makes sense.

11
3

Jailed biz coach accused of $17.5m HPE fraud writes to fans saying 'join me'

handleoclast
Holmes

Obviously trying the Saunders gambit

You know the one. It goes "I'm totally doolally with no hope of a cure. Please let me out of prison so I can die of insanity some place a little more pleasant." To be followed, if it succeeds, by a miraculous recovery.

I wonder if the system will be stupid enough to be fooled again.

7
0

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