* Posts by DoctorNine

35 posts • joined 25 Dec 2011

Google internal revolt grows as search-engine Spartacuses prepare strike over China


First, do no evil.

But later, it's fine. As long as you can make bucketloads of money.


This just in: What? No, I can't believe it. The 2018 MacBook Air still a huge pain to have repaired


Re: Thanks but ..

They lost me when they tried to TouchStrip me right in the F keys...

We'll never dance again.

Wow. Apple's only gone and killed off Mac, iPad, iPhone family... figures for units sold to fans


How Apple can sell more phones

I have a great idea. Make another iPhone SE, but make it thicker, so you could have 2-3 days on battery standby. Oh, and as it would be thicker, no problem to add back in the 3.5 headphone jack. Since it would be extended life, you could call it the iPhone SE-X.

And we all know SE-X sells.

Supreme Court punts on Microsoft email seizure decision after Cloud Act passes US Congress


As has been noted...

Imagining that cloud storage, or cloud computing in general, COULD ultimately be secure, indicates too much faith in encryption maths, and too little appreciation for just how hard the robin will work for a fat juicy worm...

Electronic Frontier Foundation chap John Perry Barlow has died


"..Some rise. Some Fall. Some climb. To get to terrapin..."

Bon voyage, JPB.

Bless their hearts: Democrats want $40bn to spruce up America's bumpkin broadband


But really, though...

After reading this, I am pretty sure I'm either bilingual or have had both halves of my brain surgically separated, because that made perfect sense.

NSA ramps up PR campaign to keep its mass spying powers


Re: You only need to remember one thing...

It's been a sh*t show since it was unrolled, and Snowden told us how and why. Further evidence is merely redundant at this point. I would be more worried that the appearance of a moderating influence would be sold to the public, with no way to monitor or assure compliance with such controls, than I would be of continuing the legislation with no controls at all.

'Real' people want govts to spy on them, argues UK Home Secretary


Re: Ruddy Hastings

I'm afraid we all are starting to understand that 'the enemy' which the intelligence services are so keen on monitoring, was never really 'terrorists' anyway. It always has been us, the very people who they are supposed to serve and protect.

We are the enemy, by their reasoning, because freedom is chaos. And chaos is danger. They insist that such danger cannot be tolerated by the State. So the masses must be locked down, and only given the illusion of freedom, in as limited a dose as they think we can safely consume, without damaging the immortal State's certain control.

It is only then that they will be satisfied.

Hot HoloLens models 'shafted by Microsoft'


Re: The Las Vegas attitude...

I'm afraid the whole of humanity suffers under this curse, not just the West. A quick review of Chairman Mao's peccadilloes will reveal a host of 'beautiful sex receptors'. Other leaders in Africa and the Subcontinent are likewise ensconced with exploited underlings.

It's difficult to overcome programming that is hardwired into the archeocortex, but it can be done. We should be optimistic, and proceed with enlightened intent toward this goal.

Derogatory or prejudicial emotional reactions to this are simply unproductive. Reason works better.

Apple building data centre in China to comply with tough cybersecurity laws


And with a straight face too.

"..They also prevent the transfer of any economic, scientific or technological data overseas on either national security or public interest grounds..."

The irony of this particular justification is really quite juicy. LOL.

Trump tramples US Constitution by blocking Twitter critics – lawsuit


I wonder...

Isn't arguing about Twitter, by reference to The US Constitution, kinda like arguing about Jesus, and which type of saddle he used when he rode his dinosaur?

NHS WannaCrypt postmortem: Outbreak blamed on lack of accountability


Why so mad?

We've known, literally for years, that if the NSA et al. mandated backdoors and tools for convenient governmental hacking, that these nasty species would eventually migrate out of their walled gardens, and into the wild. I am genuinely flabbergasted that anyone with more cognitive capacity than the average house pet would even COMPLAIN that the inevitable result of these poorly thought out policies has actually manifested, and damaged things we hold dear.

Yes of course it did. Now perhaps we can rethink such troglodyte behaviour? Hmmm?

74 countries hit by NSA-powered WannaCrypt ransomware backdoor: Emergency fixes emitted by Microsoft for WinXP+


Curses! Foiled again!

So someone set a really nasty worm on all the old unpatched M$ boxes, huh? The ones running older legacy OS's that don't have modern 'security features' mandated by the government?

Gee... I wonder who would do that, and why?

Tosh's new workhorse drive: Not too desktop, not too enterprise


Is that overclocking or underclocking?

Did you know? The FBI investigated Gamergate. Now you can read the agents' thrilling dossier


Why, Reg, why?!?!!

Why did you have to squeeze the tar baby? Don't you have enough demand on your servers? Is this a clickbait scheme of which I am (blissfully) unaware? Just tell me, please...

President Trump tweets from insecure Android, security boffins roll eyes

Black Helicopters


It may be that the Secret Service has identified a few tentative intrusions, and so recommended that this story come out, in order to use the device as a honeypot for all the steamed techies out there everywhere.

Fitbit throws fit, emits writ for outfit's non-hit, rather sh*t, 'Fitbit' kit


- insert punchline here -

After they killed off Pebble for no good reason, they kinda proved that EVERYTHING Fitbit is defective, whether INTENTIONALLY headed to the recycling bin, or merely taking a longer ride to get there around someone's wrist first.

Watch the world's biggest 'flying bum' go arse over tit in a crash


It's a ship.

They should have pumped ballast to the rear of the ship, like in a submarine. Seems like a malfunction of attitude control led to the collision.

Of course, I've seen a few individuals at the local pub who also had this issue.

Brit network O2 hands out free Windows virus with USB pens


Re: We need a double facepalm icon.

Staking the enterprise security structure on network users learning good computer habits, is like staking your own personal hygiene on users of a public washroom learning good sanitary habits. I guess you COULD, but most of us are a bit more risk averse.

F-35s failed 'scramble test' because of buggy software


Re: This is how the US is preserving its air superiority

The Marines would like to have a word with you in private, out back.

And it's not 'Shazam!'

US govt quietly tweaks rules to let cops, Feds hack computers anywhere, anytime


Resistance Is Futile

If you're down with ARPANET, you're gonna get the disease. Try to play like you didn't know this all along. Yes, the demons bring you many benefits. But don't act surprised when you find that the gifts you asked for have turned into chains. It was designed that way.

BYOD? More like CYOD as companies still set the parameters


The real deal

The main reason BYOD worked for C-Suite personnel, is that you get to have a smaller capitalization budget for upgrading new machines for the grunts. Employees mostly liked this because they get less straightjacketed by feeble machines built to lowest common denominator standards, and thus painful to use when trying to be productive. Enterprises have never relinquished their desire to direct employees' behavior and resources even when they are not at work, though. It's the nature of the beast. The evolution of the workplace has created the BYOD model in order to facilitate that. Of course corporations can't be trusted with employee personal data. Their goals and employees' goals are commonly diametrically opposed.

Burger me! Microsoft's chainsaw rampage through sacred cow herd


"Hey! Look over here! We have stuff happening! And it's IMPORTANT!!!"

Dot-com intimidation forces Indiana to undo hated anti-gay law


History resolves the mystery...

It's important to remember, that the US state with the largest number of KKK members in the 1920's wasn't in the South. It was Indiana. These industrious Indiana conservatives are merely upholding a longstanding tradition of state sanctioned oppression. If it was good enough for gramps...

Why Oracle CEO Larry Ellison had to go ... Except he hasn't


Force of will?

He didn't forge his company by force of will, he did it by pandering to the intelligence community and government agencies. And they rewarded him with billions in taxpayer money. The best thing for everyone, will be his exit from this whole field. Then perhaps the technology can grow naturally, without a CIA finger in the pie.

Kiwis unplug supercomputer after intrusion


Re: or most plausible

Mining bitcoin was my first thought, actually.

Titsup Russian rocket EXPLODES, destroys $275m telly satellite


Part of a plan?

So, first the Russians take Crimea, then the US starts sanctions. When the Russians talk about limiting ISS activity, stopping and heavy launch functions for the US/EU, then the US nixes GLONOSS base stations in CONUS, and now a Russian telecommunications satellite 'mysteriously' blows up on launch. I wonder if there could possibly be a connection?

Nah. Never.

Win gorgeous strap-on, enter whole new world with Reg compo


It's a start..

Combine this with the Ostrich Pillow and a diaper, and I'll never need to leave my desk:


Android engineer: We didn't copy Apple or follow Samsung's orders


Getting back to the real problem...

Well, as long as the current patent system is left to fester, then the deepest pockets will continue to run roughshod over the little guy with new ideas. Rather than each of us simply running our pro/anti-Apple script in this thread, perhaps we should all instead focus on altering this environmental condition, which is what allows such bullying in the first place.

Satisfy my scroll: El Reg gets claws on Windows 8.1 spring update


Win7 and Leave the Win8 Madness

there's no good reason to use Win8 of any stripe, unless you're a touchy pad type. For my desktops, a nice 64bit Win7 and tweaks into a classic XP interface keep my small network and the people on it both productive and in a familiar place.

Win8 can hang. I'll not be supporting Microsoft's poor decisions with my hard-earned currency. If they want my love, they must service me according to my kinks, not theirs.

Samsung narrows counter-claim against Apple in US


With less manufacturing overlap between Apple and Samsung, I suspect that soon we will start to see less hemorrhaging of IP lawsuits. Not much consolation to Judge Koh today though.

Elon Musk: 'Fudged' NYT article cost Tesla $100m


Elon's Marketing Police

Great Googly Moogly! They're everywhere.

Spin that message Elon! Spin it boy!

The LINUX TABLET IS THE FUTURE - and it always will be


Re: Eating up?

Let me just say, that I agree with your sentiments wholeheartedly. And I'll also offer you a round if/when we meet for showing such equanimity. Well done.

Iran draws veil over secure internet access


Spy vs. Spy

Time to invest in an Iridium Access Point?


Jedi light-sabre beats Taser in Oregon parking-lot fracas


Liberté, Fraternité, Irrévérence

Yanks are just proxy. You're forgetting the French...

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